Disclaimer: If you don't like Berman and Braga, well, I don't know who to refer you to. I think we're back at the answer to all questions. Paramount. No further comment.
Well, this matched up nicely. For chapter thirteen we have the story of the worst day of Kirk's life…
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
It was all quite true. There had been a time when Kirk cared a great deal about Starfleet. There was a time when he followed Starfleet missions like most people follow sports, when he knew every starship and every starship captain. There had been a time when he knew exactly what his future looked like, and the Starfleet symbol had been sprinkled liberally throughout.
But all that had changed.
And as Kirk strode down the corridor, he wasn't seeing the corridor or the crewmembers in it. He was seeing a day fifteen years earlier…
What a day that had been. And he remembered every word of it, every gesture, every expression. You don't forget the day your dream dies.
He'd been eighteen. A second year cadet, and more confident than was probably good for him. An odd blend of bookworm and adventurer, with a strong dash of idealist and dreamer. Soaking up knowledge like a Denobulan Sponge Fish, and still managing to pick up more than his share of trouble.
And then it happened. The test. A simulated one, they had tests like that often enough. This one, he took three times. Voluntarily. The first two times, his ship exploded in a great burst of smoke and flame and, in his eyes, abject failure. And then, he had his idea. From his current perspective, it had been an incredibly stupid idea.
He had considered it brilliance.
The test, he was positive, was rigged. No one he asked had found a way to beat it, and he was going out of his mind looking for ideas. There weren't any ways. It was rigged. Therefore, he wasn't really cheating. He was…evening the score. Starfleet had the test slanted to make him lose, so he was going to manipulate it a little in his favor. As a balancer. Reasonable enough. So he and a couple of friends snuck into one of the offices late at night, hacked into the computers, changed the programming, and slipped out, no one the wiser. Or so they'd believed.
He took the test the next morning. It was beautiful. The Klingons proved uncommonly polite, and graciously listened to his excellent arguments regarding the necessity of rescuing the freighter, Neutral Zone or not. The Klingons concluded that the needless waste of life in non-battle circumstances was not honorable (that was a perfectly reasonable thing for them to conclude, wasn't it?), and were perfectly happy to help rescue the freighter. His classmates were astounded, and Kirk was exultant.
And then the simulation ended. And he turned around to face Commodore Komack, who, truth to tell, he had never gotten along with very well. This was the first bad sign. One of the things he had calculated into his plans was the idea that Commodore Nogura would be judging his test. He was supposed to be. An ill-timed meeting had pulled him out of it, and wrecked Kirk's life.
There were reasonable odds that Nogura would take it lightly. Komack would not.
"I would like a word with you, Cadet Kirk," Komack said crisply, glowering at him. Neither his expression nor his tone boded well.
Kirk followed mutely down the hallway, footsteps echoing in the silence. Great, he told himself. Nice going, Jim! Komack'll kill you before the Klingons have the chance!
They entered the nearest conference room. A sparse room, with a long gray table.
"Sit," Komack ordered.
Kirk sat, though he felt more like bolting.
"I bet you think you're pretty clever, Cadet," Komack snapped.
"Sir?" Kirk tried hard to look puzzled.
"We suspected someone had gotten into the computer last night. Very foolish of you to alter a program that would clearly finger you as the involved party."
Kirk considered another denial, and decided there wasn't any use in it. He remained silent.
"Of course, it didn't finger your partners in crime. Who helped you?"
Kirk's chin went up defiantly. "No one, sir," he said evenly.
"Come, come, I know you don't have all the necessary expertise. Who helped? Consrev? It seems like his style."
"I did it alone, sir," Kirk said. He may be sunk, but he was not dragging his friends under too.
"Kelso?"
"I did it alone, sir," Kirk repeated stubbornly.
"Did what alone?"
Kirk and Komack turned towards the door. Unnoticed by both, Nogura had arrived, presumably back from his meeting. Kirk felt a spark of hope. Maybe the Klingons would get the chance to take a crack at him after all. Nogura crossed the room and took a seat.
"Beat the impossible test? At least six people told me on the way here. You've got the whole campus talking," Nogura said.
"Thank you, sir."
"They will be talking about something else very soon," Komack snapped. It could have been meant innocently enough. Kirk suspected otherwise.
"So what exactly did he do?" Nogura asked. "Garbled exclamations notwithstanding, I haven't heard the full story yet."
"Why don't you tell him, Cadet?" Komack said, eyes narrowing.
Kirk looked straight ahead, jaw tight. "I reprogrammed the scenario, sir."
"He cheated," Komack hissed.
"It looks that way," Nogura acknowledged. "The question begs to be asked, why?"
Kirk weighed his possible answers, and decided the truth was no riskier than any lie. Not much safer, but no riskier. "The test was unfair, sir."
"In what way?"
"It isn't possible to rescue the freighter and survive. Sir."
"This will probably shock you, but the point is not to rescue the freighter," Komack snapped.
Kirk knew his skepticism was written across his face, and strived to suppress it. "With all due respect, sir, what is the point?"
"The Kobayashi Maru is a test of character," Nogura explained. "The entire scenario is designed to see how a cadet reacts. It can't be won. It is deliberately intended to be a no-win situation."
"I don't believe in the no-win situation," Kirk objected. "Sir."
"Perhaps. But the point is to see how you react to it. Some cadets try to negotiate. Others conclude the risk is too great, and bypass a rescue. Many go in, stage a terrific battle, and end up destroyed."
"And then we have Cadet Kirk's solution," Komack glowered.
"Yes. We do," Nogura agreed.
Silence fell as the Commodores considered and Kirk digested this new information.
"I think it shows original thinking," Nogura volunteered.
"And I think it shows a blatant disregard for authority, a dangerously reckless streak, and every indication of an inability to follow orders. I consider this a clear indication that you will never be a suitable Starfleet officer."
Kirk had been looking at the tabletop. His head jerked up. "Never?" he echoed, not wanting to even consider what that could mean.
"Now just a minute, Komack—" Nogura began.
"And this is not the first incident either," Komack went on regardless. "And as the supervisor of this test, I am not being unreasonable to recommend expulsion."
There weren't any explosions. There wasn't any fire and brimstone. No meteor shower and no hurricane. No colliding stars, no supernovas and no exploding galaxies.
Fifteen years later, Kirk still thought there should have been.
Nogura argued on his behalf, but it didn't help. The decision lay with Komack. Within the week Kirk was out of Starfleet.
Kirk abruptly stopped remembering. He didn't want to remember any more. He supposed it was his one biggest weakness, that after fifteen years he still couldn't make himself face one day. He hadn't thought of it in years. But there was something about this ship, these people…
He stopped himself. If he kept on this line of thinking he was going to get himself into trouble, he could feel it. He was being ridiculous anyway. He was better off now, he told himself very firmly. He had been stupid to think Starfleet was so wonderful. The idealistic dreaming of a teenager, a kid who didn't know any better. Well, he knew a lot better now. Starfleet had made it pretty clear that they didn't need him. And he sure as hell didn't need them.
Sniff. And by the way, Admiral Nogura put Kirk back in command of the Enterprise in ST: The Motion Picture, and it was Admiral Komack who wouldn't let them divert to Vulcan in Amok Time. Thought I'd mention that. Right then, NOW you can hit review. Unless you want to read the replies first, of course.
Wedge: Yes! Not the usual argument! Thank you! And have you seen Pirates yet?
Emp: Well…by now you know why we're going to Romulus. : )
Mzsnaz: That wasn't too much pressure. And have you seen Pirates yet?
Ael: Oh heavens, you're not going to be insulted by a Vulcan comment McCoy makes are you? He's…McCoy! And yes, of course the pattern was on purpose.
Mimi6: Writer's block, papers, exams…wow, that sounds a lot like high school too…
Bug of Xanth…*double take* hey! Xanth! Cool! Ahem. Yes well, guess you're still waiting. Vicious, vicious cycle. But at least the Romulan question has been answered. Somewhat.
RadarPLO: Ah yes, what is Kirk's connection to the Romulans? That's going to be a few chapters in coming, I'm afraid…
Whatshername: I read your review. And I replied. And now I'm going to the next person. : )
Samantha: Bad at history. As you pointed out, it's all 200 years farther back for them than for us. And further and possibly more relevantly, they're all many more years out of school and therefore history class (I assume the majority of my reviewers are high school/college age, as far as I've gleaned from reviews and bios). And while you can trust Spock to know random facts, he's not likely to know human explorers (especially not in this story), and Chekov of course only knows Russian trivia. And so the only character left from the show who would know history is, well, Kirk. So there we are. And I'm still enjoying your enjoyment of the Lowell business. Did that make sense?
Silverfang: [blinks] I have a funny feeling I missed something…who's destroying English and why? If they kill term papers I'll help…
Vest-Button: Not exactly…
Solidchristian-88: I think everything you referred to is going to keep getting more relevant. I think that's good. ^_^
Beedrill: I love reviewers who get what I'm saying…of course, I love all reviewers, even when they frustrate me, but I really love it when people get it. And you're not the only one who got it, but you're the one who commented on getting it…anyway. Yes. Ice. And as to the codes, I'm sure they've heard of them. They're just not making the connection. See note to Samantha above. And I had fun with the Scotty line… Well, I believe we're still en route to Romulus at Warp Six…but it's a while before we'll get there. No need for plot development every chapter.
Alright, I'm off to fight with Trekkie Soul until it lets me finish another chapter. Review please!