This took longer than I expected it to, I apologize if I made you wait. -
Thanks so much for your comments/reviews, they always help. Yes, I'm
struggling with the OOCness, believe me. I'm aware of it. Let's see how
this chapter turns out, ne?
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CHAPTER 3: The Truth?
I'll talk to Yuki. I'll talk to Yuki. Right. What am I supposed to say? I strum at my guitar, frustrated. Damn it, I wish there was someone I can ask!
Maybe I should just ignore Yuki. Pretend nothing had ever happened, like he said the first time. Well, maybe if Shuichi hadn't found out, it'd still be an option. It's too late now – everyone knows.
I moan and set the instrument aside. Might as well get it over with. I won't get anything by delaying. I can think on the drive to Yuki's house.
Minutes later I'm at his door, and I haven't done any thinking at all.
He opens his door and turns away, walking into his room. I shrug and walk in, closing the door quietly behind me.
"Yuki?"
"Hm."
I can't help cringing. "Yuki..." I'm beginning to sound like Shuichi. A stupid idea about how everyone who spends time with him starts turning into a pink-haired hyper furball flies across my mind, but I'm interrupted.
"What?"
"Well..." My thoughts mirror his words.
"Why me?" Cliché... but at least it's something.
The novelist begins to say something, but closes his mouth again.
"Don't you know?" I'm beginning to feel slightly hysteric.
He glances at me briefly before returning to his laptop. "Hm."
I now have a terrible urge to knock him to the floor and ram the stupid laptop in his face. More hysteria.
"Yuki!"
"Hm." Again. This is repetitive.
"Shuichi quit the band because of what you did (at this he gives me a weird look, and I know he's right, it's my fault just as much) and he's upset, but I can't let that happen because I'm his best friend and it was my fault anyway and I have to do something about it so I told him I'd talk to you but... but I have no idea what to say!"
"You sound like Shuichi."
"I have every right to sound like Shu, you baka!"
I get an idea, and crumble to the floor, sobbing. For a few moments he doesn't react, then I hear the sound his chair makes as he stands up. I continue watching the floor and shaking, hoping he doesn't see...
He kneels beside me, his face still expressionless.
"Stop it." He says.
My hysteria overwhelms me and instead of punching him in the face I begin to laugh. This confuses him, and for the first time I see his uncertainty.
"Hiroshi?"
I continue laughing, still in tears.
When I calm down, Yuki is leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
"Finished?"
"What should I tell Shu?" I look up at him.
The blond thinks it over. "Tell him the truth."
"But what is the truth?"
He kneels down beside me again, and raises a hand to my face.
"Do you love me?"
"What?" I blink, stunned.
"Do you?"
I don't know, but I don't think that's an answer Yuki will accept. Do I? I like him. I'm attracted to him. But do I love him?
I love Shuichi, as a friend, no matter what. And the fact that I, instead of him, am here with Yuki, upsets him. So if this was mere animal attraction, I would given it up, because of my love for Shuichi. But no, here I am, and I've been trying all this time to avoid thinking about 'returning' Yuki.
"Yes."
"Then tell him that."
Yuki stands up again and goes back to his laptop.
"But do you?"
"Hm?"
"Do you love me?"
He doesn't look up from the laptop and remains expressionless.
"Yuki... Talking to you is useless."
I start off towards the door.
"Might as well paint shadows on the moon than try."
As I leave, I pick up a faint mumbling.
"Paint... shadows on the moon?"
"I love him."
It's the morning after and I have an hour till practice. I sit on a bench in a park, Shuichi beside me.
"Does he?"
"He didn't say."
"So he doesn't talk to you either." Shuichi smiles somewhat, which cheers me up a whole lot more.
"Guess I wasn't so special after all."
"Yeah... well..."
"Hm?"
"You sound like Yuki!"
"I sound like Shuichi. I sound like Yuki. Can I sound like Hiro, for once?"
He smiles again, and I smile back.
"You and Yuki..."
I listen attentively.
"It's ok." He looks at the ground.
"And I'm sorry... for what happened... during those practices... "
I remain silent for a while, although this is what I've been waiting for for a while now. Well, I wasn't exactly waiting for an apology, more like at least some sign of acknowledgement of what was happening. Because as far as it went, everyone pretended it didn't happen.
"Because actually, Hiro... that was worse than what you did. Me and Yuki... we haven't been getting along for a while, I should have expected it anyway... but we did that to you... for no reason, really. None of it was your fault... I'm sorry."
"I guess if you accept my apology..." I venture.
"And you accept mine..."
"It's all fair then. Will you come back to Bad Luck?"
To my relief, he nods. "Let's go to practice! I bet they'd be surprised."
I laugh as Shuichi jumps up and runs a few steps, then turns back to look at me.
"Hiro! Let's go!"
He runs back and pulls at my sleeve. I stand up, laughing with happiness, with relief, and with a little bit of leftover hysteria. (AN: I love that line...)
Shuichi pretends the stunned look on their faces doesn't exist as he bounces about the room. Can one ever get used to his overwhelming... well... Shuichiness?
If someone does, I would like that someone to tell me how they did it right away. But until then, I guess our vocalist will continue with his surprises.
I tune my guitar as K, Sakano and Suguru exchange glances. When they look at me, I shrug. Let them figure it out by themselves.
We finally get some practice, and it all does well, until Shuichi trips over something. I'm not sure what... the mike stand? Some cord? Or maybe his own feet, I don't know. But anyway, somehow he knocked over the stand, and, stumbling, stepped on the mike.
I find this very funny. Or maybe I'm still slightly lightheaded with relief. I start laughing as Shu picks the crushed microphone off the floor, staring at it as if it's some kind of puzzle.
Suguru giggles as well, while Sakano just stares at me. Which isn't very unusual, considering the fact that I'm almost in tears. K knocks me on the head playfully.
"Hiroshi..."
Whatever he was about to say about my laughter is cut off when a screaming Shuichi tackles him to the floor.
"Shuichi!" I shout, confused.
"Don't hurt him!" He screams and punches at K. This of course doesn't hurt the American whatsoever, but he seems to be taken aback by the words. He looks up at me, mouth open.
I'm not laughing anymore.
"Shuichi. Get off K-san... he wasn't doing anything."
The singer looks up at me.
"Nani..."
I'm about to say something but now he decides to tackle me to the ground.
"Now what?"
"I'm sorry! For everything we did..."
"You already apologized."
He begins to sound angry.
"But they didn't!" He points at my guitar, which now lays on the floor. Everybody stares.
"NO! I mean them!"
Now he points at Suguru, then K, and in the general direction of Sakano.
There's silence. I really don't need this. I don't want an apology. I just want it to end. I begin to squirm, but Shuichi holds on tightly.
Suguru steps up, taking me by surprise.
"He's right, I guess. I'm sorry."
I think it slightly annoys K that a 16 year old spoke up before him.
"I'm sorry, Hiroshi."
Sakano's apologies are the usual, with lots of screaming, crying and bowing. I try to say something... but instead, I pick up my guitar and begin to play. Shuichi has to sing without his mike, but we manage through the song.
A single set of clapping hands salute us in the end. It's Seguchi-san. I don't know if he was there before, and what he thought of everything that happened, but I could care less. I walk out of the room... smiling.
Maybe all this is happening a bit to fast. But when I think about it, I don't really want it to stretch out. It's only been a few days, but I feel as if my life has been turned upside down. It hasn't, really, but it feels like it. Whether it's better this way, I can't tell yet.
Tomorrow I'll have to figure things out with Yuki... if he'll help me, that is. I hear he has some sort of deadline tomorrow, and Shuichi, from experience, says he'll be bitchy.
But tomorrow, I'll go talk to Yuki anyway. And then...
--------
I think that's my fave chappy so far. It's slightly cheesy... The mike accident... is from experience. I stepped on a mike too once. It kept working though, although it fell apart. It was weird.
I'm ranting. Reviews will be appreciated and are very helpful. -
Somebody kill Hillary Duff. Please.
Peace, love, and a big fat nothing.
--------------------
CHAPTER 3: The Truth?
I'll talk to Yuki. I'll talk to Yuki. Right. What am I supposed to say? I strum at my guitar, frustrated. Damn it, I wish there was someone I can ask!
Maybe I should just ignore Yuki. Pretend nothing had ever happened, like he said the first time. Well, maybe if Shuichi hadn't found out, it'd still be an option. It's too late now – everyone knows.
I moan and set the instrument aside. Might as well get it over with. I won't get anything by delaying. I can think on the drive to Yuki's house.
Minutes later I'm at his door, and I haven't done any thinking at all.
He opens his door and turns away, walking into his room. I shrug and walk in, closing the door quietly behind me.
"Yuki?"
"Hm."
I can't help cringing. "Yuki..." I'm beginning to sound like Shuichi. A stupid idea about how everyone who spends time with him starts turning into a pink-haired hyper furball flies across my mind, but I'm interrupted.
"What?"
"Well..." My thoughts mirror his words.
"Why me?" Cliché... but at least it's something.
The novelist begins to say something, but closes his mouth again.
"Don't you know?" I'm beginning to feel slightly hysteric.
He glances at me briefly before returning to his laptop. "Hm."
I now have a terrible urge to knock him to the floor and ram the stupid laptop in his face. More hysteria.
"Yuki!"
"Hm." Again. This is repetitive.
"Shuichi quit the band because of what you did (at this he gives me a weird look, and I know he's right, it's my fault just as much) and he's upset, but I can't let that happen because I'm his best friend and it was my fault anyway and I have to do something about it so I told him I'd talk to you but... but I have no idea what to say!"
"You sound like Shuichi."
"I have every right to sound like Shu, you baka!"
I get an idea, and crumble to the floor, sobbing. For a few moments he doesn't react, then I hear the sound his chair makes as he stands up. I continue watching the floor and shaking, hoping he doesn't see...
He kneels beside me, his face still expressionless.
"Stop it." He says.
My hysteria overwhelms me and instead of punching him in the face I begin to laugh. This confuses him, and for the first time I see his uncertainty.
"Hiroshi?"
I continue laughing, still in tears.
When I calm down, Yuki is leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
"Finished?"
"What should I tell Shu?" I look up at him.
The blond thinks it over. "Tell him the truth."
"But what is the truth?"
He kneels down beside me again, and raises a hand to my face.
"Do you love me?"
"What?" I blink, stunned.
"Do you?"
I don't know, but I don't think that's an answer Yuki will accept. Do I? I like him. I'm attracted to him. But do I love him?
I love Shuichi, as a friend, no matter what. And the fact that I, instead of him, am here with Yuki, upsets him. So if this was mere animal attraction, I would given it up, because of my love for Shuichi. But no, here I am, and I've been trying all this time to avoid thinking about 'returning' Yuki.
"Yes."
"Then tell him that."
Yuki stands up again and goes back to his laptop.
"But do you?"
"Hm?"
"Do you love me?"
He doesn't look up from the laptop and remains expressionless.
"Yuki... Talking to you is useless."
I start off towards the door.
"Might as well paint shadows on the moon than try."
As I leave, I pick up a faint mumbling.
"Paint... shadows on the moon?"
"I love him."
It's the morning after and I have an hour till practice. I sit on a bench in a park, Shuichi beside me.
"Does he?"
"He didn't say."
"So he doesn't talk to you either." Shuichi smiles somewhat, which cheers me up a whole lot more.
"Guess I wasn't so special after all."
"Yeah... well..."
"Hm?"
"You sound like Yuki!"
"I sound like Shuichi. I sound like Yuki. Can I sound like Hiro, for once?"
He smiles again, and I smile back.
"You and Yuki..."
I listen attentively.
"It's ok." He looks at the ground.
"And I'm sorry... for what happened... during those practices... "
I remain silent for a while, although this is what I've been waiting for for a while now. Well, I wasn't exactly waiting for an apology, more like at least some sign of acknowledgement of what was happening. Because as far as it went, everyone pretended it didn't happen.
"Because actually, Hiro... that was worse than what you did. Me and Yuki... we haven't been getting along for a while, I should have expected it anyway... but we did that to you... for no reason, really. None of it was your fault... I'm sorry."
"I guess if you accept my apology..." I venture.
"And you accept mine..."
"It's all fair then. Will you come back to Bad Luck?"
To my relief, he nods. "Let's go to practice! I bet they'd be surprised."
I laugh as Shuichi jumps up and runs a few steps, then turns back to look at me.
"Hiro! Let's go!"
He runs back and pulls at my sleeve. I stand up, laughing with happiness, with relief, and with a little bit of leftover hysteria. (AN: I love that line...)
Shuichi pretends the stunned look on their faces doesn't exist as he bounces about the room. Can one ever get used to his overwhelming... well... Shuichiness?
If someone does, I would like that someone to tell me how they did it right away. But until then, I guess our vocalist will continue with his surprises.
I tune my guitar as K, Sakano and Suguru exchange glances. When they look at me, I shrug. Let them figure it out by themselves.
We finally get some practice, and it all does well, until Shuichi trips over something. I'm not sure what... the mike stand? Some cord? Or maybe his own feet, I don't know. But anyway, somehow he knocked over the stand, and, stumbling, stepped on the mike.
I find this very funny. Or maybe I'm still slightly lightheaded with relief. I start laughing as Shu picks the crushed microphone off the floor, staring at it as if it's some kind of puzzle.
Suguru giggles as well, while Sakano just stares at me. Which isn't very unusual, considering the fact that I'm almost in tears. K knocks me on the head playfully.
"Hiroshi..."
Whatever he was about to say about my laughter is cut off when a screaming Shuichi tackles him to the floor.
"Shuichi!" I shout, confused.
"Don't hurt him!" He screams and punches at K. This of course doesn't hurt the American whatsoever, but he seems to be taken aback by the words. He looks up at me, mouth open.
I'm not laughing anymore.
"Shuichi. Get off K-san... he wasn't doing anything."
The singer looks up at me.
"Nani..."
I'm about to say something but now he decides to tackle me to the ground.
"Now what?"
"I'm sorry! For everything we did..."
"You already apologized."
He begins to sound angry.
"But they didn't!" He points at my guitar, which now lays on the floor. Everybody stares.
"NO! I mean them!"
Now he points at Suguru, then K, and in the general direction of Sakano.
There's silence. I really don't need this. I don't want an apology. I just want it to end. I begin to squirm, but Shuichi holds on tightly.
Suguru steps up, taking me by surprise.
"He's right, I guess. I'm sorry."
I think it slightly annoys K that a 16 year old spoke up before him.
"I'm sorry, Hiroshi."
Sakano's apologies are the usual, with lots of screaming, crying and bowing. I try to say something... but instead, I pick up my guitar and begin to play. Shuichi has to sing without his mike, but we manage through the song.
A single set of clapping hands salute us in the end. It's Seguchi-san. I don't know if he was there before, and what he thought of everything that happened, but I could care less. I walk out of the room... smiling.
Maybe all this is happening a bit to fast. But when I think about it, I don't really want it to stretch out. It's only been a few days, but I feel as if my life has been turned upside down. It hasn't, really, but it feels like it. Whether it's better this way, I can't tell yet.
Tomorrow I'll have to figure things out with Yuki... if he'll help me, that is. I hear he has some sort of deadline tomorrow, and Shuichi, from experience, says he'll be bitchy.
But tomorrow, I'll go talk to Yuki anyway. And then...
--------
I think that's my fave chappy so far. It's slightly cheesy... The mike accident... is from experience. I stepped on a mike too once. It kept working though, although it fell apart. It was weird.
I'm ranting. Reviews will be appreciated and are very helpful. -
Somebody kill Hillary Duff. Please.
Peace, love, and a big fat nothing.