(Hello, I have the sniffles today so I'm not at school, this is good as it means that I can write, already today I have written two chapters of my Kaldur De Cahr story, which comes to about eight pages, two chapters of Hunting Gollum, which comes to about the same, chapter 14 of the this story and now, obvious by the fact that you are reading it, chapter 15 of this story. Also I've been watching the films and I have just found the part in the second film which I find funniest, it's not the 'toss me' part, or the 'shall I describe it to you part'. It's where Aragorn is dead and lying on top of his tomb and then he's holding his sword and his finger twitches, it's so bad but it makes me laugh hysterically. Anywho like I side I have written lots today and you are all privileged enough to read the fruits of my labour, so here is chapter 15. We will once again start off with the captured members, and who knows you may actually get to see (read about) Merry and Pippin this time. So without further ado here is chapter 15.)
(Elanor: Well. . . Megan, I've watched that again recently, and actually it's Arwen's hand. So meh!)
Elin's Thoughts
Well I wasn't really getting any further with persuading the orcs to let us go, although they let Lauren go because she kept screaming, sadly when I tried the same tactic they guessed that I was just trying to get away. Orcs aren't actually as stupid as they look; I suppose it would be hard for them to be because boy do they look stupid.
As I looked to my right I saw that Pippin was biting his brooch thing, poor hobbit, they need to it so much I suppose that now he's resorted to eating jewellery, nope I was wrong he's just spat it onto the ground. What a waste, my brooch is to pretty to throw away, it's all shiny.
Poor Merry as well, he's got a cut on his forehead, looks a bit like a caterpillar really but that's only my opinion.
And Diane, well the less said about Diane, the better. She was now asking Orville, formally known as Grishnak, what various other orcs were called. Then she and the Orville would have a big discussion about new names for the orcs. So far they had came up with Maurice and Horace for two orcs that Diane insisted were twins because they looked so similar, Jasper and Bob, because they were nice names, and Ebenezer for the orc that I was being carried on because he was mean like Ebenezer Scrooge from the Christmas Carol. Diddins is mad.
Diddins Thoughts
Well we had just reached the eaves of Fangorn Forest, I was getting very excited because in the films my favourite characters were the trees, especially the pot-bellied ent, he was funny.
It was strange no one else seemed to be enjoying the trip; well Elin didn't seem to mind too much, though she didn't seem to like the orc carrying her, that's why I named him Ebenezer.
Merry and Pippin however spent most of the journey looking scared, worried or in pain. For some strange reason Merry had a caterpillar on his eyebrow, it looked quite funky though.
So we were sitting there when one of the orcs complained about the bread, we weren't given any bread. Then they started saying they wanted meat, Ebenezer seemed especially keen on eating Elin but Fred (Ugluk) said they weren't for eating. I was quite relieved to tell the truth, being eaten wasn't something that I really wanted, and then Bob said:
"What about their legs, they don't need those"
Well funnily enough I thought I did need my legs so I said:
"Excuse me Bob, I have the biathlon coming up next, I think I would find it hard to the swimming and running without my legs"
The orc just looked confused,
"Who is Bob?" he questioned, the orcs are so silly, they didn't even know their own names. Anyway then a big fight broke out and I nodded to Orville who, remembering my warning took off into the forest.
Suddenly I heard a scream and turned round to see a horse rear up over Pippins head about to squish the hobbit into a pancake. I like pancakes, there yummy, oh no, I've missed pancake day on earth how depressing.
~~~~~~~~~~
We are now going back to the three hunters and co.
(A/N THIS IS AN IMPORTANT NEWSFLASH ABOUT THE EVILNESS OF LAUREN THAT MADE ME GO GRRR WHEN MY SISTER TOLD ME IT. Ok well as I have said I didn't go to school today but apparently Lauren said my cat was a prostitute because she is having kittens for the third time in a year and a half. Kittens are good, they are sweet and cute and my cat is lovely. Anywho you really didn't need to know that but I thought I would tell you anyway.)
So we had been running and running for ages and ages, my legs really hurt and I was finding it rather hard to breathe, but me and Elanor were still keeping way ahead of the dwarf, yay I've just thought, I can call her Sam again now cause there are no hobbits named Sam to confuse her with now. so yeah we were ahead of the dwarf and Lauren as well to my delight, also I didn't really mind being behind Legolas cause you got a lovely view of his…the trees, yeah that's right the trees, heh heh.
(Elanor: MEGAN! Ug.)
Luckily for me the Lembas was doing a good job of making me not collapse and it seemed to be working for Sam as well. We took immense delight in talking about the horrible orcs that we fight at Helms Deep as it made Lauren look more scared as we continued. Finally however I was really too tired to keep talking and we lapsed into boring silence.
Quick interjection of Legolas's thoughts
Legolas thoughts
Thank Valar that child has shut up, I was beginning to think she never did, she even talks in her sleep, mumbling something about Aragorn's finger twitching. Madness.
Back to the esteemed authoress
So yeah, finally the riders of Rohan turned up and we all went and hid in the rocks, which was really very pointless as Aragorn then proceeded to shout at them anyway. In minutes we were all surrounded and had a large number of shiny spears pointed at us.
(Elanor: And how they hadn't seen us in the first place was a mystery, as, unless they are very, very. . . blind, we were standing on top of the hill, and then they came up as we went behind the rock. This is why the books are so much better.)
"What business does an Elf, a man, a dwarf and three girls in the Riddermark? Speak quickly."
"Give me your name horse master, and I will give you mine."
Eomer looked a bit like he was about to explode and he quickly dismounted and said:
"I would cut off your head dwarf, if it stood but a little higher off the ground"
"Hey, I'll help you with that problem Eomer." I said happily, attempting to lift the dwarf up so he was easier for Eomer to kill. Sadly he was too heavy and I had to give up. Looking up I saw Eomer was looking at me with a mixture of amazement and confusion.
"How do you no my name?" he asked, looking at me suspiciously "Are you a sorceress?"
"Nah, don't worry" Elanor replied giving him what was supposed to be a winning smile but wasn't really, "We're not sorceresses, we're freaks that know *all* your secrets." well that didn't really do much in the way of consoling the man and before anything got anymore confusing Aragorn stepped in and told him our names and the fact that we were tracking the Uruk-Hai.
So, Eomer told us that the hobbits were dead, and then he proceeded to give us five horses to carry us to the orc pile. At this point I had a problem, you see I could risk being called a Mary Sue and decide to share Legolas's horse, or I could keep up my non Mary Sue policy, which was helped by the fact that Legolas knocked me out, and have my own horse. Well I was about to choose Legolas when I remembered two things, firstly I remembered how fast he rode and then I remembered how bad I was on horses and that when they start going faster than about five miles an hour I have a tendency to fall off.
Gingerly I reached up to stroke my horses nose, and then I noticed another problem, I liked the solution to this one though.
"Legolas" I said, turning to said elf, who turned round with a barely stifled groan. "My horse is too big; I don't suppose you could help me could you?"
"Oh, I am sorry Megan but I'm already on my horse. I'm sure Gimli will help you though."
Well rather than be helped by a midget with an axe who was still glaring at me for trying to help Eomer from killing him I leapt up onto my horse in record time. The soft laugh that reached my ears coming from Legolas's direction caused me to growl and mutter some more elvish curses that I knew he could here. My liking of this elf was really going down the drain, though he was still as hot as ever so I could forgive him.
So, anyway, we reached the pile of smoking orcs and everyone, everyone being Legolas Aragorn and Gimli, started searching for any signs of the orcs. Lauren sat there and tried to persuade her horse to stop rearing, but on the fifth time she gave up and stood on the ground, clever horse, and Elanor and I sat on our horses once more saying helpful things like:
"Warmer, getting hotter, Ooooh ice cold" until finally Gimli held something up that he had found in the fire.
"It's their wee belts." he said sadly.
"Oh no" gasped Elanor, "It's all burnt, do you think they'll be able to get new ones?"
"Actually" Legolas said angrily "We were more worried about the fact that the hobbits have been burnt"
"Well carry on, aren't you supposed to start muttering some elvish prayer now, and Aragorn, when you kick the helmet be careful, we wouldn't want you breaking your toe. (A/N interesting fact for anyone who didn't know, when they filmed that scene and Viggo kicked the helmet he really did break his toe.)"
"But, Legolas, May the valar protect them indeed? Somehow I don't think it works." Elanor said, before starting to wander off towards Fangorn in her normal "not-really-going-anywhere-important-no-that's-not-something-sharp-behind-my-back-and-its-not-now-embedded-in-your-neck" way.
Sure enough Gimli muttered something about them being dead, Legolas muttered an elvish prayer and looked sad, though it was a slightly more tasteful then the one in the film, and Aragorn kicked the helmet and yelled at the sky, causing Lauren and myself to burst out laughing.
(A/N ever since I watched Night of the Living Dead the whole cursing the sky thing has made me laugh hysterically due to this one scene with a crippled zombie that crawls along the floor looking demented then the hero of the film comes along, rams a crowbar into the zombies head. Then he sort of falls to his knees and looks up at the sky screaming, "Damn you God" LOL)
And then…Aragorn stopped.
(Ooooooooooooh, I would say that that's a cliffy but as anyone reading this has probably seen the films before they all know what's going to happen, Anywho no time for any notes that are attempts at being funny as I have to go to school now. Namarie.)