Warning/Note: This chapter is going a little...well...outside the boundarys of the rating of "R", if you know what I mean. You may find a few..."surprises", okay? Just thought I'd warn you, in case you aren't in for that sort of stuff.
And, please, please be gentle on me. This is my first real time writing such a hot and heavy scene so if it isn't exactly what you wanted I'm sorry. I'll improve next time. Oh yeah, I have no beta reader so there may be a few grammar mistakes. Hopefully they won't get in the way of your reading.
Okay, enough talk, enjoy the "show"!
Chapter 10- As the Rain Falls Outside
As the rain fell outside I could hear the footsteps somehow over the constant pounding of the drops upon the hard earthen floor. I had heard footsteps.
A small flare of hope was kindled inside of me, hoping that somehow, someway, it would be Paine, coming to say that she was sorry. 'I never should have left,' she would say, her lips in a frown, her hair wet and matted, and her eyes soft as feathers. 'I am so sorry, Yuna, so sorry....'
No! What am I thinking? I have about as much of a chance as Paine coming to me as Tidus would be to come back. Both are far away from my location and so very distant from me on a very different level. I am totally, and utterly, alone.
Except I heard footsteps, thus I am not alone. If it's not Paine...or Tidus...and couldn't be Rikku, Brother, Shinra, or Buddy....
A fiend.
I took out my gun, knocking it ready, and brought it up to my face. I could feel the cold, hard metal against my skin. My breath made a mark on it, showing up as I breathed out my excess, little, white, pieces of vapor forming up on the metal. Even with the fire it was unusually cold. A cold, hard night....I heard some more thunder crashing in the distance and then a flash of lightening flew across the horizon, barely able to see it through the cave entrance.
The footsteps had stopped. Why? And why should I wait around here to find out? The fire would surely attract many creatures and things that I don't particularly want at this moment in time. Although I am in a very terribly state of mind, I want to be left alone. Let me be sad and depressed in peace! Don't these creatures know anything at all?!
The rain came down harder as I stood up. I walked slowly towards the entrance. Even though I was closing in on the entrance and the ultimate encounter with this thing I could not see it at all. The rain pouring down created this thick, dark sheet that made visibility come to an all-time low. Not only that but the moon...or should I say the lack of the moon tonight made it even harder for me to close my eyes on the figure I know was outside. I would have a hard time defeating this thing if I can't even see it. And it can probably see me.
I heard rustling outside, a shuffle of feet (or paws) back and forth as the thing waited for me. It knew I was coming. It was waiting for me, patiently, knowing that it would get an almost easy kill. Well, I would give it a hard fight if it was my time to die.
I could still feel the pains from my desertion in the back of my mind and heart, but in the forefront know was the anxiety and exhilaration of getting into a fight. Through all of the fights with fiends I have had over my many years of "service" it has never grown dull or routine. Never. Never will it become this for surely I will die when I start to lose interest in it. When I lose interest I slip up and then....bam, I'm gone.
Feet away from the entrance. I could now start to make out an outline. It was a tall figure, shaped like a human.
I stood up straighter as I saw them. This person was slender, but with hips, like a woman's. This was no fiend, nor any male, this was a female. But who?
It can't be Paine, it just can't. I can't be thinking that to only find out that it's Rikku or someone else behind this mask of darkness. I have to learn to keep these damn emotions under control. I must learn. And I will. Never again will I fall for this stupid emotion of love. It hurts too much. The burning, the aching, the pain that you feel once you realize that it's over. Or the pain of realization that it was all just a small little thing...a fling...when you wanted more. It hurts to be dumped.
But, then again, was I dumped?
Stop it Yuna! Concentrate on this...person!
They started to walk towards me, the outline of a sword hanging on the other side of their back. It was long, but with a rather fat blade....
"I know that sword," I whispered to myself, suddenly in this sense of awe. "P-Paine?!"
The figure stopped.
"Yuna...."
Oh, sweet Spira, it's Paine. She's come back! She hasn't deserted me after all! All of my turmoil, my sorrow, was for nothing! She's come back....
But how am I sure about this? Well, I'm not. I'm not sure she's back for me. Maybe she wants to rub it in a little more. I wouldn't think Paine capable of such a thing but...if she can dump me once she can do it again.
No. No matter how much it hurts I can't let her do this to me again. I can't take her back even if she wants me back. I know that's why she's here; to try and take me back. Why else would she be here? I have to be strong.
Oh, but I know strong is going to be so hard. So, very, hard.
"Paine..." I said, choking on my own words, "w-what are you d-doing here?"
My hair started to get wet, water dripping down my face. My shirt starting to stick to my shirt, clinging to me tightly, keeping me close as I stood out there, facing her. My pants grew tight as well and I soon would barely be able to walk. The rain kept falling outside.
"I..." she began, shifting her eyes to stare so intently upon the ground near her feet. "I...I wanted to...to a-apologize...for what happened earlier."
My start started to grow dry, my heart jumping into my throat and beating harshly against every nerve ending in my body. She came to apologize? She...she....No, wait, I must be strong. She can't and won't do this to me ever again. I will not be hurt by her again! Never, ever....
I opened my mouth to talk, raining dropping inside, my mouth taking it in greedily, but no words came out.
Paine saw this as she glanced up from the ground. Her eyes barely graced my own, looking hastily back to the ground as she noticed where I was looking: directly into her eyes.
"I...I don't know what happened to me today. Suddenly," a sighed escaped from her mouth, "I had all these emotions of anger and I-I lost control. I didn't know what I was doing at all. I was yelling and screaming at everyone over this silly little question...." She paused for a minute, looking around the ground and soon settled upon her other foot. "And I knew it was silly and stupid and that I should be doing this but...but..." She looked up now, her face twisted in pain, confusion, and...well...hope. "I didn't mean it Yuna!" She said forcefully yet still it had this sweet tone to it. She really meant it. "I am so sorry, I never, ever wanted to yell at you! I-I didn't want to walk out, I swear," her head moved back down, hiding her eyes. "I wanted to stay with you...forever. I don't want to leave you."
She...she...oh I can't even think! She wants to stay with me! She really, really does! She never wanted to leave me and I really do believe her. Even if I did say that I wouldn't take her back, that I wouldn't give in to her wants and my needs but...but...oh the emotions and the power I feel now are so overwhelming that I can do nothing but give in.
"Paine...."
"Yuna, I know that...that you may not want me back in your life at all, and I understand that. I did something awful to you. As much as it hurts me it must hurt you so much more. I just wanted to..." she lifted up her face now, showing me small beads of water near her eyes. Either tears or small drops of rain I was not sure. It could have been the rain for her hair was so wet with it, dripping it down slowly onto her face. But, somehow, I knew that they were tears. "I just wanted to say that I was sorry."
And with that, Paine turned and slowly started to walk away from me, her footsteps echoing against the hard floor like they did as she approached my cave. I wanted to stop her but I just couldn't move. My feet were rooted to the ground, sucking up the water from it as if I was a plant. My mouth was open in shock, water seeping into me, and I was growing colder and colder as I watched her go.
Move it, damn you, move it! I have to go get her! I have to tell her how I feel, that I want her back and I don't give a shit of what I promised myself earlier! This is love, I know it is, and I have to go along with it or I will regret it forever afterwards. How can my life go on without her? How?
"Paine!" I yelled at her, suddenly running towards her.
She turned, tears streaking down her face faster than ever. She looked puzzled; obviously she didn't really expect me to come running after her. It only took her a second though, to understand what was going on, and once she did, she started to run too.
So there we were, running through the rain and into each other's arms, finding each other so soft and warm that I heard one loud moan as we reached each other. In one swift motion our hands went to each other's face, taking it firmly and pushing it towards our lips. There contact was made.
Soft, fresh lips, wet from tears and water, touched my own and suddenly I found myself right back to where I began, ready to cry and break down. Except this time, I wasn't ready to cry from heartache and sorrow; I was almost in tears from happiness. I was finally kissing Paine once again, running my tongue along her lips, tasting the salty tears still residing there. And when I finally felt her tongue against mine, I felt at home.
Here we are, kissing passionately outside, for all to see, standing in the pouring rain. My hands ran down her back, feeling her soft, wet skin. Her hands were feeling my back as well, running along the bones of my shoulders, racking her fingers up and down my back, sending shivers through my spine.
As our tongues collided with each other, desperate for control and dominance over the other, I found that the feeling of her smooth back and the taste of her tongue in my mouth wasn't enough. Suddenly the fire came back from within my stomach, the same one that I was feeling on the airship, and I was losing control. No longer could I stand the annoying material hindering me from feeling her skin all over me. Nor could I stand just her hands on my back. I need them to touch me, everywhere, to cup my breasts and run along my thighs. But I needed my hands to move as well, twisting her nipples and tickling her legs. I needed everything, I need every part of her, touching every part of me.
Paine seemed to notice this, sensing my rising passion, for soon she started to tug and pull at my clothing. Before long, I heard the ripping of my clothing as the material would not give way to the forces of her arms. The rain and water didn't make our task of shedding each other of frustrating clothing, but it seemed that neither of us really cared about preserving the material. Pieces of my shirt were flying here and there, fluttering to the ground, filled with water, as Paine ripped my shirt to pieces. As she frantically tried to get my chest bare, I found, through a hazer of fog floating around in my head, that I was doing the same thing to her. Although my upper body strength was not as great as Paine's was, I was still successful in getting pieces of black material off of her, finding white skin underneath, warm and soft to my rough touch.
Before I knew what was happening, my breasts were being bombarded by not only the rain from above but by gentle yet firm hands, cupping them, feeling them everywhere. Oh god...I moaned my agreement as to this new course of action, tilting my head back, pushing out my chest, and closing my eyes.
Soft drops of water against my face...firm hands against my breasts...a leg between my thigh....
I kept my eyes closed as she moved me, bringing me into the cave with the fire, and laying me down on the backshift bed I had arranged earlier that day. I couldn't really concentrate, the feeling of her hands on my chest was so intoxicating that my thoughts were so jumbled and confused, bumping into each other at high rates, and my realization of what was happening was at an all-time low.
As I felt her body make contact with mine, her bare chest slowly covering mine, she suddenly pulled back. I opened my eyes in surprise, wondering what was going on. Although I wanted to ask her a question, my mouth open in an attempt, I stopped. Now, with her top-portions of clothing off, I could see only parts of her, but oh what beautiful parts they were.
Her breasts, so round and gorgeous, hung simply down, swaying with her movements as she straightened up. Her nipples were hard, little round buds poking out from white skin, with little beads of rain collecting on them, dripping of her. Oh what I wouldn't give to suck those rain drops off of her, licking my tongue up and down, swapping the rain for my saliva....
"Yuna," Paine spoke, her voice low and salty, "I need to know...if this...is what you want."
Pulling my eyes away from her breasts, as hard as it was, I looked at her. I saw something there that I had never really seen before. She was scared and nervous, showing a side of her that she may never have shown before, and all to me. But beyond all of this, I saw something that gave my strength even through my own doubts. I saw this fiery passion and love that warmed my heart all over again, lighting up my nerves and loins, giving me so much more resolve to go ahead...to make love to her.
"Oh yes, Paine," I moaned out, reaching up for her. I brought her slowly down on top of me, feeling the way her body felt on me, feeling the heavenly feeling of skin against skin. "Yes, Paine...of course...."
And with that, I began a kiss that wouldn't end until the sun came up.
In retrospect, I'm not quite sure how I remember everything that happened. I mean...oh, it's all so confusing! I was so very aware of what I was doing, of how much I had wanted this, how much I wanted it, and how much I want it still, but...I was also aware of this nagging nervousness and fear, eating me up from the inside. How might I go about...loving Paine? Even if it seems so simple, so easy, how could I master all the fine, subtle things I needed to have, or know, to give her everything that she wanted? I found out, in the end, that it wasn't the mastery that she wanted, it was just the simple touches that set her off most.
And then, there was the fear. What would Spira think? Their High Summoner, making love to one of her friends, a girl even more so?! Even if I wanted this, even if more than anything I wanted this to happen, would they truly accept it? So, without any regards for anyone else, I let myself go, giving in to what I wanted, for the first time. I have never regretted doing such a thing, and never will I.
We laid underneath the light covers, covering our naked bodies, residing on top of the hard floor of the cave. Our legs were entwined with one another, her thigh pressing into my center, and my own was pressing into hers. Our hands were still caressing each other's chest, feeling the curves and dips of each of our bodies, relishing in just how complex and delicate someone can actually be. This was how we stayed for a very long time, just touching each other above the waist, too scared to go much further. It seemed that if we stayed up here, kneading and feeling each other's breasts than nothing could go wrong, that our fears would never have to come out. Our mouths stayed stuck to each other, fearful that if we even moved then the other would scream out and yell at the other. It wasn't like I didn't like all of this fearful touching, caresses as light and scared as our hearts, but I wanted more. I needed more. The fire between my legs was growing to a yell, ripping my brain in two from want and desire. Something had to be done. But, then again, I was too scared to start it.
"Paine," I breathed out, taking myself painfully away from her wet lips, "please...keep going."
A smile, a lick of her lips, and then she dipped her head. Her lips had started their slow progression downwards, stopping at every part of my body that was deemed worthy. First was my throat, sucking at my pulse, nipping lightly at my skin. She licked her tongue all along my jaw, kissing and almost eating her way down.
She stopped at my breasts as well. If she had forgotten those, though, I would have been mad indeed. Here she spent much of her time. She seemed to like them so much, although her opinion was never truly voiced, but her actions spoke for her. She would kiss and lick all along the base of my breasts, her fingers dancing around the edges of the other one, never losing momentum. Then, slowly, her lips would change pace, moving upwards, kissing and nipping at ever bit of flesh she spied, her hand pinching and rubbing the other one.
It all felt so good...pleasure radiating from my chest, moving upwards and into my head, filling me with haze and clouding up my eyes. I couldn't see, so I closed my eyes and laid my head back against the pillow. My hands ran along her back, pushing her forward, urging her on, rubbing her back. The feel of skin against my hands was about the only thing that kept me rooted down to Spira.
She nipped at my nipple, making me grunt out in pleasure. She kissed and licked it all over, blowing on it to make it spike up even more, until she seemed to be done with it. I almost thought that she had had enough with my chest until her kisses were planted across my middle, moving slowly other to my other side. Once she reached the deserted one, she did the exact same thing to it, starting at its base and moving tenderly up to the tip, were it soon grew red from all the attention she was giving it. With one last kiss on my tip, she brought her mouth back up to my face.
I opened my eyes, using way too much effort, to look at her. An evil smile was playing across her lips and it was only after she started to kiss me, her tongue searching out all the corners in my mouth that I realized her hands were slowly making their way down my stomach. Everywhere her hands went, her finger tips touching me lightly, burned a trail of fire, scouring my skin with white marks.
I heard myself begging from far away, pushing my hips upward to coax her right hand further down. Even through all of this she still made her own sweet time down my stomach, and it seemed to take forever for her to reach my soft curls near my legs, already wet with want.
Slowly, she began to circle around the area, playing with the hair, feeling up and down the flesh underneath it all. I begged and moaned, seeking some sort of release from all of these feelings that were rushing through me, but she denied me all that I wanted. Her fingers played across my skin...touching lightly...light kisses from her fingertips....
Then, as unrepentantly as anything ever before, she cupped me, her palm pressing up against the fire ragging below. I screamed, pushing my hips up further, pleasure flowing through me from the sweet, warm contact.
"Paine..." I breathed out, tossing my head from side to side, my eyes closed in tight concentration. "More...please...."
Her fingers started to become separate identities, moving over my clit in small motions. With each flick of her fingers I jumped, taking in a large breath. It was a slow sort of torture and somehow the strength of her, the strength of her fingers against me, was taking me somewhere that I have never seen before. Light started to flow behind my covered eyes, my head seemed to swell up, and my body seemed to erupt in fire. I was so close...so very close to this edge where beyond it I knew rested everything that I had been built up to, everything that I ever hoped for.
Paine seemed to sense this, taking my twitching legs and arms as a sign, and with one, fluid motion, she pushed her finger up inside me, filling me. I gasped, not expecting such an action, but so happy that I moaned shortly afterwards. I stayed still, just relishing in the feeling of Paine, inside of me, and how she filled me so easily and completely.
One more finger was pushed up as well, stretching me out, filling me in even more places. Then one last finger followed and soon all three of them were moved in and out, creating this solid rhythm that brought me such pleasure that with each thrust of her hands I moaned and grunted in happiness.
My hips started to move with her, matching each drive of her fingers, pushing them into me more and more. My legs started to twitched even harder, moving feet at a time, my back arched, my head swam, my mouth opened....Nothing was more important than this rhythm, one of love and trust, of pleasure and happiness, of acceptance and hope. Nothing was more urgent than the moving of my hips, the pushing of her fingers, the sweat rolling down my face, and the salty bitterness of tears rolling down my eyes.
Something exploded within me, filling me, radiating out from my loins, filling me with such pleasure that I had never thought possible. Such pleasure...such happiness, can never be described. It was just...there, filling me completely with such security and affection....
"Paine..." I whispered, slowly coming down from the heights that she had carried me to, "I...I..."
A finger to my lips shushed me. Slowly, her hands moved away from my center, emptying me of the wonderful bliss that had filled me just mere moments before. I felt so empty, so sad, yet whole and in a pure state of bliss....
Arms folded over me like a blanket, tucking the covers in over my back, making sure that I was warm and cozy. My head swam as I closed my eyes, resting my head against her breast, my breath tickling her skin. She shushed me to sleep, rocking me back and forth like a child, holding me tightly in her arms.
Tears ran down my eyes, clear drops of pure pleasure and happiness, for all to see and behold. I didn't care right now what someone else thought, I was too...happy....
I feel asleep shortly afterwards, pleasure still pulsing through my veins, my ears hearing the soft pounding of Pane's heartbeat.
Outside, the rain had stopped.