Disclaimer: What she said. Points to Elendor
A/N: This is Black Majik, just so you know. This is our third chapter, its well, the third one. Unfortunately I wrote this whole chapter by myself. Which cant be good. I can't write author notes because I'm crap, basically. (You may have noticed by the fact what your reading is a load of pish) Looks around for something interesting
OOH! Dives to the floor PIZZA!!!!!
Sorry, I'll go now, ENJOY!!
7
Chapter 3
Envy
His footsteps echoed round the corridor as he walked along to Potions for his detention. He really didn't want to go, he had homework to do. It was going to be another late night. Well, at least he wasn't going to be alone, Lupin would be there, and, unfortunately, that bastard Sirius. He could have had someone to talk to for once but no, Sirius had to get in trouble on purpose, so Lupin wouldn't have to bear with HIM on his own.
They didn't know how much it hurt when they taunted him, maybe he would start washing his hair in warm water, and if he kept throwing up he wouldn't put on any weight, then they would have no reason to call him fat and greasy.
He arrived at the classroom, knocked and went in. Lupin and Sirius were already there; they turned around in their seats when he came through the door. He hated people staring at him, so, he turned completely around to close the door. Even then he could still feel the eyes burning into the back of his head.
'Ah welcome, Mr. Snape. How nice of you to join us,' said Professor Henridge, her cold eyes flicking quickly from him to the other two then back to him again. 'I was just explaining to the others that for the next few hours, until you have finished, you will empty these jars and vials and clean them so they are ready for new specimens.' She paused for a second, 'Do you understand?'
The boys nodded.
'You will inform me when you're finished and you can go.' She explained quickly. She flicked her wand at a stack of red buckets, which were sitting on a table in the middle of the room and muttered something under her breath. She turned and walked briskly out the door Severus had just come through, robes billowing out behind her.
The buckets hopped off the pile one by one and made their separate ways towards the three boys.
'You better not bother us Snivellus, you greasy slime ball, unless you want another taste of what you got on the train.' Sirius hissed as soon as the professor's footsteps could no longer be heard going along the corridor.
Severus shook his head, walked to the opposite end of the table from the boys and sat down, his bucket hopped after him. He picked up a small vial with a tiny frog in it and emptied it into the bucket, which had been bewitched to stay with him till it was full.
He picked up a cloth and shoved it into the vial.
'Bloody muggle labour' he muttered to himself, 'I could have this done in seconds if I used magic.' He looked up from his vial to the boys at the other end of the table;
Sirius had pulled Lupin onto his lap. Lupin smiled a little, but he didn't look happy.
Severus stared at him for a while not realising what he was doing until Lupin looked back at him, looking right into his eyes and smiled at him. Severus looked down quickly, a wave of shock flowed over him.
His face went red.
Had Lupin just smiled at HIM?
No he was smiling at Sirius, his eyes just wandered, Severus decided in his head and went back to the vial. Once it was clean he turned around and put the vial on the table behind him. He turned back, to pick up the next vial, which contained a small spotted salamander. It too was poured into the bucket to join the tiny frog.
'This one should be easier to clean. It's bigger', he thought trying to cheer himself up.
He looked up at Lupin and Sirius again, and without realising, began listening to their conversation. Lupin was struggling to escape Sirius' hands, which were clamped around his waist.
'Siri, do you really want to be here all night? You know what Henridge is like.'
'Don't care as long as you're here too,' Sirius said kissing Lupins hair.
'Well if I'm not here you'll be a bit screwed wont you?' Lupin replied finally breaking free. 'I am NOT spending the whole night in the bloody dungeon.'
He picked up a jar with what looked like a dragon scale in it, took off the lid and went to pour it into his bucket, but again Sirius grabbed him round the waist and pulled him onto his knee.
'Sirius!' Lupin moaned, sounding a little annoyed, 'You are SO lucky that didn't spill.' He tapped Sirius' hands with the jar and he let go.
As Lupin and Severus worked on the vials and jars, Sirius sat behind Lupin occasionally pulling him back and kissing him. Every time, Lupin would push him off and go back to work.
'Its not fair,' Severus thought to himself, trying to scrape a piece of brain from the edge of the jar he held, 'Sirius has everything. Good looks, good hair, everyone loves him, all the girls want him, huh, even the boys fancy him.' He finished the jar and placed it with the growing number behind him. He emptied another and suddenly realised that it wasn't because of his good looks, or any of the other things that he was jealous of Sirius.
He had Lupin, and Severus wanted him.
He felt the jar slip from his fingers and watched in horror as it smashed the floor at his feet.
'Shit,' he said immediately ducking down to pick up the pieces.
He heard Sirius burst into hysterical laughter at the other end of the table.
'Stupid arsehole!!' shouted Sirius through his laughter.
'Oh shut up Sirius. Do you want a hand Snape?' Lupin said walking over to the crouched figure on the ground, which was frantically picking up the larger pieces of glass.
'Eh, ye- yes please,' mumbled Severus looking up into Lupins eyes, which were smiling down at him from what seemed like the greatest height.
'Don't help him Moony! He can just stick his head in it and it will stick to the grease!' Sirius burst into more hysterical laughter and fell off his chair, 'AW!! CHRIST!!'
'You deserve it, now get your ass over here and help,' Lupin said.
'No fucking way I'm I helping him,' said Sirius getting up from the floor, 'and neither should you Moony.'
'Piss off,' said Lupin to Sirius. He turned back to Severus, 'He's being a pain cause I won't shag him.'
Severus nodded to show he understood, when in reality, that was the furthest from the truth. They put the pieces one by one into Severus' bucket, which was hopping back and forward for the each of the boys in turn to put the glass in.
'Awch!' Lupin exclaimed jerking his hand back from the floor.
'Are you okay?' Severus said quickly. Blood was coming from a small gash on Lupins palm.
'Here,' he whispered pulling a tissue from his pocket and pushing it into Lupins bloody hand.
'DON'T TOUCH HIM!!' yelled Sirius running forward and pulling Lupin away from Severus' hands.
'I- I- sorry- he-his hand- I just-,' stuttered Severus falling backwards in fright.
Sirius moved forward to hit him but was stopped by Lupin. 'Don't bother, he hasn't done anything. It was an accident okay?' Sirius sighed and nodded, 'Lets get back to emptying those bloody jars or we WILL be here all night.'
'Ok,' muttered Sirius striding back to his end of the table.
'I'm so sorry,' whispered Lupin to Severus who was still cowered on the floor. He turned around and went back with Sirius.
Severus got back up onto his chair and finished the last three jars as quickly as possible. He got up and went out the door. As the door was closing he heard Sirius speak;
'I don't want you talking to him.'
'You are NOT my keeper,' Lupin replied harshly.
He walked along to Professor Henridge's office and knocked on the door. He popped his head round and said,' Professor I'm done.'
'Okay. You may go,' was the reply from within the room.
He went back to his dorm and sat on his bed. That was better than he had expected.
He had expected to be mashed into a bloody pulp by Sirius and have Lupin sitting in the background terrified. Well, at least he wasn't a bloody pulp, Lupin wasn't afraid; he even spoke to him, apologised too.
He sat up quickly and looked at his hand. He was still holding the cleaning cloth. He jumped off his bed and began running back towards the potions classroom. If he put it back now he wouldn't have to do it later. He turned the corner to go down the corridor, which lead to the classroom, and jumped back.
Someone was there.
He looked back round.
It was Lupin and Sirius. Sirius had Lupin backed into a wall, they were talking but they were to far away to be heard. Sirius had his hands on the fronts of Lupins legs, and as Severus watched, he lifted Lupins leg off the ground. Lupin yelled in protest, threw Sirius off and stormed off down the corridor. Severus backed against an alcove just in time.
A few moment later Sirius followed shouting, 'Sorry Moony. Forgive me?' as he dashed past.
Severus waited a minute then squeezed out of the alcove and along to the classroom. He threw the cloth onto the nearest table and ran all the way to dorm.
He dived back onto his bed as he had done only 10 minutes before.
'What the hell was that?' he asked himself out loud, thinking about what he'd just seen. He clamped his hands over his mouth. If any of the other boys heard him talking to himself there would be hell to pay.
'Was Sirius pushing Lupin too hard?' he wondered,' Cause Lupin really didn't look like he wanted Sirius doing that to him. It's not right, I should have stopped him, but I was too afraid. I hate myself. Why am I so afraid? He needed someone back there, I could have helped,' tears started rolling down his pale skin,' I'm so useless.'
He pulled the curtain round his bed. He could hear the other boys coming up the stairs. They couldn't catch him crying, they would torture him forever.
He dried his eyes on the edge of his robes and pulled his pyjamas out from under his pillow. They were black with green and silver stripes round the bottoms of the sleeves and legs. His mother had sent them in the post on his second day of school when she found out he was in Slytherin. Of course now they were far too short for him, but his mother sent them especially for him, and she barely ever did things like that.
He quickly pulled them on and got into the covers.
He hadn't realised how tired he was until now. He pulled his legs up so his knees were bent and hid his face with his hands.
The way he always slept. For some reason it was the only way he could sleep. His eyes slowly closed and he drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.
He woke up and looked at his watch. Six o'clock. 'I'll go and have a shower before anyone else wakes up,' he thought. He pulled on yesterday's clothes. No one was going to notice.
No one cared.
He was just a fat greasy git to all of them. He would stop the name calling if it killed him. One compliment would be enough to satisfy him for life.
Especially if it came from Lupin.
He had been so happy yesterday when he had just spoken to him. He sighed and pulled the curtain open. His sneakers were sitting as he had left them last night, at the side of the bed. He slipped his feet into them not bothering with the laces; they'd be back off soon enough.
He crept to the end of his bed and opened his trunk with a small creak. The boy in the bed next to him stirred but did not wake.
Severus sighed with relief. He pulled a ragged greying white towel from the bottom of the trunk, pulled the lid shut and made his way down the stairs.
Once he was out of the common room, where there were a few fourth years sleeping, sprawled across the floor after the 'party' last night, he turned left and headed along the corridor towards the prefects bathroom.
He walked up to the door and said the password. The door swung open to reveal a massive room. There were 4 huge baths built into the floor on the right side of the capable of holding 4 people each. In the middle there was a collection of sinks and to the left were toilets and 4 shower cubicles.
Severus headed to the left and went in the shower cubicle at the very end, out of sight of anyone who was going to come through the door.
He used this cubicle if he ever took a shower, which had been very rarely and was always cold.
But this year was to be different.
This year he had a reason to look after himself, try to make himself look, if not good, better.
He stepped into the cubicle and undressed. He turned the tap and let the warm water flow over his body. It felt better than when Lupin had washed his hair in the sink.
His hair was longer when it was wet, it came past his shoulders, otherwise it just sat on top of them. He rubbed the soap in his hands, then put it down on the floor beside his feet. He rubbed his hands over his hair.
Getting rid of the insults and rude remarks as it was rubbed further into the darkness, and into his scalp.
He liked it, maybe he would do this more often. IF it worked.
Then they would have nothing to moan at him about. They couldn't call him fat forever either. He only weighed 9 stone as it was, maybe he should listen to Lupin and stop making himself sick.
'We'll see,' he thought letting the water run over him once more, 'It's hard to break bad habits once you started though.' It was like a ritual for him now, he would need some help from someone if he was going to.
He turned the tap and the water stopped. He rung the liquid from his hair and opened the cubicle door. It was still to early for anyone to be there. He re-dressed and towel dried his hair.
The blow-drying spell had slipped his mind. He combed quickly through his hair with his fingers and tied it back with an elastic band. He picked his towel off the floor and went to leave just as the early risers came through the door.
There were comments made, none of them that bad, he smiled to himself happy for once with something he'd done.
He moved quickly back to his bedside and threw his towel on the bed to dry. He undid his hair and shook his head so all the excess water went on the floor. Opening his trunk again, he took out a comb, put it to the top of his head and pulled it through his hair, amazed at how easily it went through.
Once finished he replaced the comb, tied his now clean hair back in the elastic band and headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast.
Severus lay on his back on his bed, the curtains closed. He was naked except for a pair of black boxers, which were new but slightly too small for him.
It had been a long, hard day of revision in every class, with lots of homework, which he had, thankfully, managed to complete.
Lupin had smiled at him in Potions that morning. He was sure about it this time, as Sirius had been standing with his back to him talking to James.
'Ugh,' Severus groaned through his thoughts, Sirius Black. He wanted so much to be able to erase that boy from his memory. The mere thought of him made Severus green with envy.
Every few minutes when the professors weren't looking, Sirius would pull Lupin into a kiss. Every time he felt the jealousy growing, it would eventually subside, but the feelings it left behind were awful.
It left him very stressed and unable to concentrate on his work.
He needed something to relieve the pent-up stress.
Cutting himself wasn't an option, he'd tried that before but it hadn't helped. That's why he had become bulimic.
'That's it,' he thought, throwing his robes on and stuffing his feet into his shoes without doing either up.
It was eleven o'clock so he would have to be careful he wasn't caught going down to the kitchen.
Will Remus give in to...Lust? Discover what's next in chapter 4 of se7en
little note from Elendor here, do you realise JUST how Lame that sounds, Leonie Bolger?
Another little add on from Elly: Sorry, this hasn't been updated in ages, but the truth is we havnt had time, we had our exams going on, and therefore everything had to be dropped for awhile, but there you go... we'll try and be better updaters now...
P.S I'm sixteen tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!