x-x-
The ceiling of her bedroom no longer fascinated Caitie as it had a few seconds ago. At first she had stared at the various glow-in-the-dark stars that scattered the wall above her, somewhat amused. Now she was just bored with it, just like everything else seemed these days. Boring and pointless. Nothing in her life was really worth anything right now, much less fun or interesting. Caitie sat up, seeing that she obviously wouldn't fall asleep anytime soon. Her room was mostly dark, aside from the moonlight spilling through her window and reflecting in rays across her bedspread. Caitie threw off the comforter that was causing sweat beads to pop up on the back of her neck and she stood up, grabbing her coat off of the chair and sliding her feet into her slippers. She climbed out of the window next to her bed and landed softly on the damp grass. Caitie breathed heavily and looked around in the night, her breath forming a cloud of steam in front of her. She wrapped her heavy brown coat tighter around her black Nine Inch Nails t-shirt and her green pajama pants with little turtles covering them.
Caitie turned the corner at her driveway and slowly walked towards the entrance of her neighborhood, heading across the street to a deserted park. Her feet cracked the dry pinestraw as she entered the park, and crickets chirped in the woods around her. Caitie sat down in the first swing she came upon. After swinging back and forth a few times, she heard footsteps behind her. Caitie jumped up and turned sharply, trying to see who had been there.
"Who's there?" Caitie asked, desperately looking around for a sign of any person.
"A murderer, coming to steal all your money and strangle you!" Jamie said suddenly from behind her, grabbing her shoulders and playfully shaking them.
Caitie screamed. "Oh my God Jamie! You scared the hell out of me!"
She clutched her hand to her heart and turned to see a smile creeping upon Jamie's lips. She jokingly punched him on the shoulder, "That wasn't funny!" Despite her words, Caitie couldn't help a grin escaping her lips either.
"Yes it was," Jamie smiled, his lopsided grin making Caitie's heart skip a beat. "If it wasn't funny, why are you laughing?"
Caitie bit her lip but still smiled, trying extremely hard not to laugh. "I'm not laughing!"
She pushed past him and sat back down on the swing, turning in his direction. "What are you doing here so late?"
"I could ask you the same question," Jamie said slyly, sitting down next to her.
"I couldn't sleep and I needed some fresh air," Caitie said simply, gazing off into the trees. "You?" Caitie knew exactly why she couldn't sleep- because of the next morning. But she wasn't going to let that get in the way of her and Jamie's conversation.
"Same thing pretty much. My parents were fighting again, so it's not like it was exactly quiet," Jamie told her, his voice coated with anger.
Caitie looked over at him, knowing his difficulites at home with his family were something brought up often, but Caitie never had anything helpful to say. She looked down at her feet. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah, me too," Jamie said, hate clogging his throat, "I'm sorry they're my parents."
Caitie sighed softly, "It's not your fault."
"Damn right it's not."
The silence seemed extremely loud as they sat there, neither speaking a word. Caitie didn't know how to respond, and Jamie was too mad to say anything. After had what seemed like an eternity of silence, Jamie finally spoke.
"Sometimes I just want to break loose; be free. Leave home and become independent. I always feel like something is holding me, keeping me inside my hectic house with all the yelling and screaming and fighting."
Caitie stood up and walked in front of him, standing a few inches away from his feet. "Everyone wants a break sometime. I mean... I wish that I could get more breaks."
Jamie stood up and looked down into her eyes. "You're my break."
Caitie's heart skipped a beat again. "I'm not that great." A small smile played on her lips.
"You keep me happy. Nothing else nowadays does, except for the fact that school's out, but that won't last for long."
Caitie bit her lip and looked down. She felt Jamie's hand on her chin, lifting it back up. "You make me happier than I've ever been," he said softly, his eyes dancing in hers. "Honestly."
"I..." Caitie was at a loss for words as Jamie gently stroked her chin. He leaned in slowly, his lips brushing hers. Caitie felt the most amazing feeling from the gentle kiss. Her stomach flip-floped and her heart
was thudding against her chest.
Jamie pulled apart from her and smiled weakly. The feeling from the kiss still wouldn't leave Caitie and she bit her lip, staring hard at the ground. "I think I have to go," Caitie said quietly, looking back up at him. He looked confused and a little sad.
Without another word, Caitie turned and walked back the way she had come, tears stinging the back of her eyes. She quickly blinked them away, walking across the deserted street. Caitie arrived back at her home a few minutes later, climbing back into her window. She shut it behind her and locked it. Caitie took off her shoes and jacket, crawling into bed. She curled up into a little ball underneath the covers and let tears slide down her cheeks.
It wasn't going to ever be normal for her... She was never going to have a normal teenage life, or at least what was going to be left of her teenage life. Caitie couldn't fall in love... she couldn't break his heart, because she would have to eventually. Caitie tossed and turned, shoving the thought out of her head. The doctor had said to go on like everything was normal... like nothing was happening.
-X-x-X-
The next morning, Caitie woke up, the images of last night still flashing in her head. She tried to get rid of them by taking a shower and getting dressed, but it didn't work. She walked upstairs quietly, for her siblings were still asleep, and she met her mom in the kitchen. She had made bacon and bluberry muffins, and Caitie ate a little of each.
"Nervous?" her mom asked, washing off plates and putting them in the dishwasher.
"A little," Caitie lied. She was extrememly nervous. After nibbling off her muffin and having half a peice of bacon, Caitie slid the plate back. "I'm not that hungry."
Her mom finsihed cleaning up and washed her hands under the running faucet. She walked over to Caitie, who was sitting at the kitchen table. Mrs. Roth sat down next to her, taking Caitie's hand in hers. "I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know it's hard for you, and it is for me to. We can get through it though, okay?"
Caitie nodded, feeling like if she spoke she would throw up. Her mom put her plate in the sink and came back over to her, a tear managing its way out of her eye and down her cheek. "I would trade places with you for this, you know that, right?"
Caitie nodded again. Without another word said, they walked out of the house together, into the garage. The drive over to the hospital was silent, and Caitie felt even more sick as each moment passed. When they arrived, her mom walked her up to the correct ward, and whispered, "I love you," before the doctors took her to a room in the back. Mrs. Roth sat down in a chair in the waiting room, rubbing her temples and sniffing every few seconds. She knew she would have to leave eventually, because Caitie would have to remain in the hospital for a few days. Mrs. Roth finally stood up and walked out, blowing her nose and crying steadily.
It was too much.
-x-X-x-
A/N: sigh, Okay, I'm sorry it's so bad, but I was way to bored yesterday, and I still haven't gotten any burst of energy for my next chapter of Learning To Breathe, so this is as good as it gets. sigh Thanks to Mel for beta-ing for me, she's my hero. XD
The ceiling of her bedroom no longer fascinated Caitie as it had a few seconds ago. At first she had stared at the various glow-in-the-dark stars that scattered the wall above her, somewhat amused. Now she was just bored with it, just like everything else seemed these days. Boring and pointless. Nothing in her life was really worth anything right now, much less fun or interesting. Caitie sat up, seeing that she obviously wouldn't fall asleep anytime soon. Her room was mostly dark, aside from the moonlight spilling through her window and reflecting in rays across her bedspread. Caitie threw off the comforter that was causing sweat beads to pop up on the back of her neck and she stood up, grabbing her coat off of the chair and sliding her feet into her slippers. She climbed out of the window next to her bed and landed softly on the damp grass. Caitie breathed heavily and looked around in the night, her breath forming a cloud of steam in front of her. She wrapped her heavy brown coat tighter around her black Nine Inch Nails t-shirt and her green pajama pants with little turtles covering them.
Caitie turned the corner at her driveway and slowly walked towards the entrance of her neighborhood, heading across the street to a deserted park. Her feet cracked the dry pinestraw as she entered the park, and crickets chirped in the woods around her. Caitie sat down in the first swing she came upon. After swinging back and forth a few times, she heard footsteps behind her. Caitie jumped up and turned sharply, trying to see who had been there.
"Who's there?" Caitie asked, desperately looking around for a sign of any person.
"A murderer, coming to steal all your money and strangle you!" Jamie said suddenly from behind her, grabbing her shoulders and playfully shaking them.
Caitie screamed. "Oh my God Jamie! You scared the hell out of me!"
She clutched her hand to her heart and turned to see a smile creeping upon Jamie's lips. She jokingly punched him on the shoulder, "That wasn't funny!" Despite her words, Caitie couldn't help a grin escaping her lips either.
"Yes it was," Jamie smiled, his lopsided grin making Caitie's heart skip a beat. "If it wasn't funny, why are you laughing?"
Caitie bit her lip but still smiled, trying extremely hard not to laugh. "I'm not laughing!"
She pushed past him and sat back down on the swing, turning in his direction. "What are you doing here so late?"
"I could ask you the same question," Jamie said slyly, sitting down next to her.
"I couldn't sleep and I needed some fresh air," Caitie said simply, gazing off into the trees. "You?" Caitie knew exactly why she couldn't sleep- because of the next morning. But she wasn't going to let that get in the way of her and Jamie's conversation.
"Same thing pretty much. My parents were fighting again, so it's not like it was exactly quiet," Jamie told her, his voice coated with anger.
Caitie looked over at him, knowing his difficulites at home with his family were something brought up often, but Caitie never had anything helpful to say. She looked down at her feet. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah, me too," Jamie said, hate clogging his throat, "I'm sorry they're my parents."
Caitie sighed softly, "It's not your fault."
"Damn right it's not."
The silence seemed extremely loud as they sat there, neither speaking a word. Caitie didn't know how to respond, and Jamie was too mad to say anything. After had what seemed like an eternity of silence, Jamie finally spoke.
"Sometimes I just want to break loose; be free. Leave home and become independent. I always feel like something is holding me, keeping me inside my hectic house with all the yelling and screaming and fighting."
Caitie stood up and walked in front of him, standing a few inches away from his feet. "Everyone wants a break sometime. I mean... I wish that I could get more breaks."
Jamie stood up and looked down into her eyes. "You're my break."
Caitie's heart skipped a beat again. "I'm not that great." A small smile played on her lips.
"You keep me happy. Nothing else nowadays does, except for the fact that school's out, but that won't last for long."
Caitie bit her lip and looked down. She felt Jamie's hand on her chin, lifting it back up. "You make me happier than I've ever been," he said softly, his eyes dancing in hers. "Honestly."
"I..." Caitie was at a loss for words as Jamie gently stroked her chin. He leaned in slowly, his lips brushing hers. Caitie felt the most amazing feeling from the gentle kiss. Her stomach flip-floped and her heart
was thudding against her chest.
Jamie pulled apart from her and smiled weakly. The feeling from the kiss still wouldn't leave Caitie and she bit her lip, staring hard at the ground. "I think I have to go," Caitie said quietly, looking back up at him. He looked confused and a little sad.
Without another word, Caitie turned and walked back the way she had come, tears stinging the back of her eyes. She quickly blinked them away, walking across the deserted street. Caitie arrived back at her home a few minutes later, climbing back into her window. She shut it behind her and locked it. Caitie took off her shoes and jacket, crawling into bed. She curled up into a little ball underneath the covers and let tears slide down her cheeks.
It wasn't going to ever be normal for her... She was never going to have a normal teenage life, or at least what was going to be left of her teenage life. Caitie couldn't fall in love... she couldn't break his heart, because she would have to eventually. Caitie tossed and turned, shoving the thought out of her head. The doctor had said to go on like everything was normal... like nothing was happening.
-X-x-X-
The next morning, Caitie woke up, the images of last night still flashing in her head. She tried to get rid of them by taking a shower and getting dressed, but it didn't work. She walked upstairs quietly, for her siblings were still asleep, and she met her mom in the kitchen. She had made bacon and bluberry muffins, and Caitie ate a little of each.
"Nervous?" her mom asked, washing off plates and putting them in the dishwasher.
"A little," Caitie lied. She was extrememly nervous. After nibbling off her muffin and having half a peice of bacon, Caitie slid the plate back. "I'm not that hungry."
Her mom finsihed cleaning up and washed her hands under the running faucet. She walked over to Caitie, who was sitting at the kitchen table. Mrs. Roth sat down next to her, taking Caitie's hand in hers. "I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know it's hard for you, and it is for me to. We can get through it though, okay?"
Caitie nodded, feeling like if she spoke she would throw up. Her mom put her plate in the sink and came back over to her, a tear managing its way out of her eye and down her cheek. "I would trade places with you for this, you know that, right?"
Caitie nodded again. Without another word said, they walked out of the house together, into the garage. The drive over to the hospital was silent, and Caitie felt even more sick as each moment passed. When they arrived, her mom walked her up to the correct ward, and whispered, "I love you," before the doctors took her to a room in the back. Mrs. Roth sat down in a chair in the waiting room, rubbing her temples and sniffing every few seconds. She knew she would have to leave eventually, because Caitie would have to remain in the hospital for a few days. Mrs. Roth finally stood up and walked out, blowing her nose and crying steadily.
It was too much.
-x-X-x-
A/N: sigh, Okay, I'm sorry it's so bad, but I was way to bored yesterday, and I still haven't gotten any burst of energy for my next chapter of Learning To Breathe, so this is as good as it gets. sigh Thanks to Mel for beta-ing for me, she's my hero. XD