Chapter 7: A lesson learned the hard way
Remus Lupin sat in complete silence as Sirius came to the sad conclusion of his story. His eyes were fixed on the table in front of him, he did not dare raise them to meet his best friend's gaze. He couldn't bare that look of helpless sorrow that lingered in Padfoot's sad, grey eyes.
'He just fell, Moony,' Sirius said in barely a whisper. 'Didn't say a word…didn't even see it coming. Just fell.'
Remus nodded slowly, wishing Sirius would stop. He didn't want to think about Aberforth Dumbledore. He didn't want to be reminded of what Voldemort was capable of. Most of all, he didn't want to be reminded of the terrible pain that his oldest friend had had too live through. It was memories like this, he thought, that Sirius had been forced to relive for almost thirteen years in Azkaban. He did not want him to have to suffer such torment any more.
'It was a long time ago Padfoot,' he said slowly, still not daring to lift his eyes. 'Time has moved on.'
'How?' Sirius demanded. 'How have things moved on? We are still living in fear of the very same enemy. Aberforth Dumbledore is still dead. His blood was the first to be spilled when the Order first formed. Don't you worry that it is only a matter of time before the new Order loses its first member? That it isn't a matter of 'if' we lose our friends in battle but 'when'?'
'Of course I do' Remus said angrily. 'But there is little point in brooding over the past. We are stronger than we were last time. We are prepared…we know what to expect.'
The chair Sirius had been sitting on screeched as he backed it across the stone floor and got to his feet.
Remus looked up as his friend leaned across the table towards him, their faces now only inches apart.
Torment glittered in Sirius' eyes as he hissed, 'Harry doesn't!'
Sinking back into his chair, trying to suppress the anger building inside, Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, deep in thought.
Why didn't Remus understand?
At first, Aberforth's murder had scared him out of his wits. He and James had been shaken by the event for months after. But it was years later when the full force of this event really began to affect him. He could remember that day as clearly as if it was yesterday – it was the day he was informed that his godson would one day have to face a very similar fate. Little Harry would one day have to come face to face with Voldemort – and perhaps suffer the same terrible end.
That day seemed to be approaching at rapid speed…
Remus always seemed so casual about the whole thing. But then, Remus had never been separated for the world as Sirius had been. Remus had years of preparation, knowing that one day Harry would discover his heritage and that he, Remus, could be there for James's son. Sirius had given up long ago on the notion of ever seeing Harry again, suddenly the responsibility of caring for his young godson had been thrust upon him …his fear of failing Harry was great, but the fear of failing James was greater.
Lupin had crossed the room and poured himself a fresh mug of tea. Sirius wearily got to his feet and began to tidy the table.
'Moody should be along tomorrow,' said Remus, sitting down to his tea.
'Great,' Sirius replied unenthusiastically, 'Does this mean you're off again?'
'Afraid so,' said Remus blowing cool air into his cup. 'I'm on duty at the Department of Mysteries again. Thought I may as well get a couple of shifts in before the next full moon.'
Sirius laughed 'So I guess the pleasure of housing a mad werewolf will fall with me again?'
'If you don't mind,' Remus smiled.
'Well I don't mind, though I don't think Buckbeak was too thrilled last time. And Kreacher nearly hit the roof!'
Remus grinned, 'I'd have thought he'd find a werewolf quite mild-mannered after living with your mother!'
The rest of the day passed fairly quickly, all too quickly for Sirius's liking. He and Remus spent the afternoon chasing Boggarts out of the attic.
'You know, the Ministry would have you in Azkaban for breeding Dangerous Magical Creatures if they got wind of this lot,' panted Lupin after successfully finishing off his fifth Boggart in a row. His brow dripped with beads of perspiration as he pushed a mass of damp hair from his eyes.
'Of all of the things the Ministry could put me in Azkaban for these are the least of my worries,' Sirius replied dryly as he emerged from behind a dusty antique wardrobe, wispy smoke drifting from his wand.
'Yeah….sorry…forgot.' Remus said hastily.
Sirius smiled, 'Glad someone can. Anyway I think we might be done here.'
He glanced around the spacious attic which seemed now be a Boggart free-zone. Blazing torches burned upon the walls illuminating the dingy space with a livid, red glow. Pieces of old furniture had been pushed up against the walls and the floor was littered with old, wooden crates.
'Yep. Looks like we got them all.' Remus replied. 'Oh, no, wait.'
He strode over to a particularly gaudy looking night-table of polished mahogany with brass handles. He prodded the side of the cabinet with his wand and it immediately began to shake. There was definitely something lurking inside.
Sirius knelt down in front of the piece, covering his robes in cobwebs in the process. He ran his fingers over the lavishly carved door, tracing the outline of the Black family crest followed by the motto 'Toujours Pur.' In the middle of the crest the initials 'RB' had been carved into the thick wood.
'My mother had this made for Regulus,' Sirius said flatly, 'the day he received his Hogwarts letter. She couldn't bear the thought of him having to use one of the old cabinets in the Slytherin dormitories so she instructed father to have one made for him.' He wiped a patch of dust from the lid of the cabinet. Underneath, faintly outlined in gold, was the Slytherin serpent.
'Obviously determined not to have another Gryffindor in the family,' Remus mused.
Sirius laughed dryly. 'So, who gets to tackle the Boggart, you or me? I daresay you are a dab hand with Boggarts Professor Lupin!'
He grinned broadly at Remus, who wore a look of mock offence, but proceeded to open the cabinet door. Sirius stood back and watched as the Boggart emerged and assumed the shape of a silvery orb.
'I'll have you know,' Lupin began with a note of superiority, 'that I taught your godson to produce a corporeal Patronus using a Boggart.'
'Well Professor, I am impressed!' Sirius smiled. 'But tell me that you ever put him in detention and I will have to Transfigure you into a teapot!'
Remus expelled the Boggart and sighing turned to face his friend. 'No…but,' he feigned a grimace, 'I did have to confiscate the Marauder's Map.'
Sirius eyes widened as he gasped, 'You took away the Map?'
'Yeah,' Remus smiled, 'I have to admit it broke my heart taking it from him. Our Map, in the hands of James' son! Anyway, I gave it back, eventually.'
'I should hope so, Sirius replied, 'I wondered what had become of that Map. I could have cried when Filch confiscated it.'
'As I remember, you did!' Remus laughed. 'I bet you'd have got it back too, if it hadn't been our last day of school.'
Remus left at night-fall. As Sirius got into bed he thought fondly of the day he had spent with his friend. It had been so long since he and Remus had spent a day together, just talking. He lay there for some hours looking back at the time he had spent with Lupin since his escape, and the days they had spent together at Hogwarts. He thought also of James, and a little of Peter, and felt warmed by the happy memories he had for so long been denied.
Was it really so long ago that he had arrived at Hogwarts, a cocky, over-confident eleven year old?
Could it be possible that almost twenty years had been and gone since he had passed his NEWT's and joined the Order?
It seemed ridiculous to think that James' son was now fifteen years old and rapidly approaching adulthood.
'He's a credit to you Prongs,' he laughed silently in his head 'and thankfully much better behaved than his father.'
With that thought in his mind Sirius lifted his wand and extinguished the gas lamp that burned above his bed. He pulled his quilt up over his ears and closed his eyes, waiting to lapse into a peaceful sleep – but rest didn't come.
As he lay there in the still, silent darkness, his memory once again flitted back to the death of Aberforth Dumbledore.
The face of the young Dumbledore hovered in his mind; his face, white and slightly weathered, seemed to be floating across the room before him.
It was strange how accurately Sirius could picture Aberforth, having only met him the once, but every detail of the man's appearance seemed to be burned into his memory - the short, slightly auburn hair that curled perfectly beneath his long, pointed ears and the wide, slightly crooked smile that could turn into a ferocious frown at the drop of a hat.
But the picture was always tainted, by the pained look of horror that always resided within the watery, blue eyes; the same expression they had held the night that Voldemort had raised his wand and brought Aberforth Dumbledore's life to a very sudden end.
Sirius shuddered, closing his eyes more tightly, trying to will the image away. But screwing his eyes up made no difference, it was as if Aberforth was taunting him. His face only became clearer, the expression of fear becoming more pronounced.
Why didn't you save me Sirius?
'I couldn't!' Sirius yelled suddenly, sitting up rigidly upon his mattress. His face was dripping with a horrible, cold sweat. His heart was pounding.
His breathing, which had grown rapid quickly returned to normal and the fear he had felt was replaced by shame.
'What the hell is wrong with you?' he scolded himself as he lay back down again.
Although he felt stupid for allowing his imagination to run away from him like that, he was still slightly troubled by the voice he had heard. He realised, of course that the sound had come from inside his own head, but it had sounded so like Aberforth's.
It wasn't as if he could have saved Aberforth anyway, no-one could.
Unless Dumbledore had arrived earlier.
No one quite knew what had happened between Voldemort and Dumbledore the morning of Aberforth's death.
Nobody had ever asked.
Albus had returned from the battle, pale yet calm and unharmed. He may not have defeated his old enemy that day but Sirius was sure that Voldemort had come away second best.
….. 'We've got to get back there Moody. I can't believe we just left him there!' Sirius cried in frustration, pacing the length of Aberforth's lower living area. 'Anything could be happening out there.'
'Sit down boy, you'll give yourself a heart-attack' Moody growled. 'This is nothing to do with the Order. This is between Albus and Voldemort.'
Sirius shivered, he wished Moody would not say that name out loud.
'What if he's in trouble? What if…'
'Oh for Merlin's sake!' Moody bellowed, his face drained of colour. 'And I suppose a great lump like you is going to save him?'
Sirius scowled. Fenwick placed a comforting hand upon his shoulder.
'Dumbledore will be fine' the young wizard said calmly. 'Haven't you ever heard, Dumbledore is the one wizard that You-Know-Who fears? I really doubt that Riddle will have hung around to duel anyway. I'd like to bet he Apparated straight out of there once we'd left. He's too scared to face Dumbledore without his monkeys I reckon.'
'Then where is Dumbledore?' James asked quietly. He sat curled up upon the tattered sofa in the centre of the room, his legs drawn up to his chest.
'I dare say he's probably gone off somewhere quiet,' Frank Longbottom replied. 'He'll want some time alone no doubt.'
Moody nodded silently and then addressed Frank.
'Perhaps it would be a good idea if we went back up there to have a look, eh? Best if just the two of us go.'
Frank agreed.
'We'll Apparate. If we aren't back in half an hour it would probably be a good idea if the rest of you alerted the Ministry.'
Moody uttered his approval, 'Tell the Minister we'll be needing a team of Hit-Wizards and a couple of trackers…er….maybe a group of Aurors too – but only if we aren't back in half an hour.'
'Yep, will do,' Sirius agreed.
'And Sirius' said Frank, 'look after Alice for me.'
With a loud crack, Frank and Moody Apparated.
Sirius glanced over his shoulder and watched Alice for a moment. She had moved away from the group and stood at the opposite end of the large room, examining the large tomes that filled Aberforth's bookshelves. He could tell, even from the back of her head, that Alice was in tears. Slowly and quietly he crossed the room to where she stood, being careful not to startle her. As he grew nearer he could hear her stifled sobs and the sharp intake of her breath.
'Alice?'
No longer bothering to hide her sorrow Alice began to cry loudly, her shoulders shaking with emotion. She turned her wide, tear-stained face and Sirius could see the suppressed fear building up in her wide, gleaming eyes.
'What if he doesn't come back?' she asked her voice barely audible. 'What if…'
'Shhhh' Sirius wrapped his arms around his friend's wife and held her tightly to his chest. 'He's going to be fine,' he whispered, stoking the back of her hair calmingly. 'Frank will be back in no time, you'll see.'
'I hope your right,' Alice said 'I've lost so many friends in this war already, I couldn't bear to loose my Frank. We've only just married you know. This was supposed to be a new beginning for us…not the end.'
James walked over to where Sirius and Alice stood with three steaming mugs of coffee in his hand.
'Here,' he handed his friends a mug each. Alice smiled her thanks and accepted the cup. 'it's been twenty minutes now, I reckon they'll be back any minute.'
Sure enough, at that moment, Dumbledore emerged down the stone stairway, the lifeless form of his youngest brother held tightly in his arms. His face was white and gaunt yet his manner seemed as calm as ever.
'Alice,' he said quietly, 'I have sent Frank home, you must join him immediately I expect you have been worried out of your mind. I have no doubt Lily will be feeling exactly the same,' he told James, 'You too should be getting home. And don't forget to let Peter and Remus know that we are all safe and sound. Benjy, I believe St Mungo's are expecting you at work in a few hours, go home and rest.'
The headmaster turned to Sirius, his expression apologetic.
'If you would not mind Sirius, I have one more favour to ask of you.'
Sirius eyes fell unwittingly to the pale, wasted face of Aberforth Dumbledore.
'Don't waste your pity on him,' Dumbledore said sternly. He cast his eyes around the room and addressed the gathering as a whole. 'I do not expect any of you to throw your sympathy away on my brother, I am afraid to say he does not deserve an ounce of it. This man almost cost all of you your lives today, he was lucky that his actions only ended his own.'
Dumbledore sighed deeply and then continued, 'You must forgive me though, if I still feel the need to grieve his passing.'
With that he disappeared into Aberforth's room.
Sirius looked from Alice, to Benjy and James.
'You heard what he said,' he told them 'You lot get off home. James, would you let Remus know that I'm safe, but I won't be home for a while. I'll probably see you all at the meeting tonight.'
James nodded and Apparated at the same time as the other two.
Sirius yawned widely, wishing that he could go home but knowing full well that even if he did he wouldn't be able to sleep. The last two days had been, so far, the strangest of his life and having lived under the same roof as his batty mother and power-mad father for sixteen years, strange was something he was generally quite accustomed to. He followed Dumbledore into Aberforth's room, where he found his former Professor tucking his sibling's body into the covers of a grand four-poster bed.
'Do you think,' Dumbledore said without raising his eyes from his brother's face 'that you could kindly remove that painting from this room and have it destroyed.'
Sirius' eyes immediately fell to the portrait that hung above Aberforth's bed – the one Dumbledore had threatened to burn the previous day. The portrait Aberforth had painted of Tom Riddle.
Obliging, Sirius took the painting from the room and propped it up against a bookcase in the living area.
'Inflammare' he flicked his wand and set the picture ablaze. He watched as golden flames licked the surface of the canvas, scorching it before turning it to dust. The pale, thin face of Tom Riddle blistered and melted grotesquely.
Sirius felt it was a shame that he was not practiced in voodoo curses, though he doubted that Dumbledore would have allowed him to place one on the portrait anyway. The Hogwarts Head was irritatingly noble when it came to using Dark magic.
It took several minutes for the painting to disintegrate completely. When it did its golden frame was left standing empty, black ash covering the floor.
'Thank you.'
Padfoot turned around to find Dumbledore stood directly behind him. The old man's voice sounded hoarse though he showed no emotion.
'You may go now. I will see you at sundown.'
'What about Aberforth?'
'I will begin to make the arrangements soon, but not before I've had a stiff brandy. Now get yourself home Sirius, there is nothing more you can do.'
Sirius nodded silently and quietly made his way out of the underground cabin.
Suddenly his need for sleep had subsided. He felt that he wouldn't be able to sleep again.
The face of Aberforth Dumbledore haunted every conscious minute
… Questioning whether the man could have been saved, if only someone had acted in time…wondering if he had suffered any pain...
But the thought that caused Sirius the most torment of all was the worryt that somewhere along the line his actions had contributed to the death of the young Dumbledore. The sneaking suspicion had crept into his mind on remembering the figure James had seen vaulting over the wall around Nicholas Flamel's home.
He had, at the time, dismissed the intruder as a stray dog. Could it possibly have been Dolohov? Had the Death Eater returned to the mansion and alerted his master of the Stone's removal?
Was Aberforth's death Sirius's fault?
Somehow, it seemed that he would never know.
Jedi Solo: Thanks for reading! Have to admit I don't like slash either (especially the Sirius/Remus variety!) but I loved the idea of Dumbledore having a camp, and very deranged, younger brother. I would love to do an Aberforth fic – perhaps a short one about how he killed his other siblings and ended up living in a secluded, underground home – maybe I will at some point, I'm starting to miss him already! Remus will be around more in coming chapters (and he will even have a couple of his own, but much further down the line!) Also thanks for reading 'Dangerous Memories'. I wrote that so long ago I almost took it down! Sorry for making you upset, I will never make Remus do bad things again…well, for a while. I don't know about doing a Sonny fic. I have a horrible feeling had she lived she'd probably have ended up married to Sirius . By the way, I have started to read 'Final Legacy' I am afraid I am the worlds slowest reader but I will get a move on and get a review to you ASAP (from what I've read so far it is very good!)