(A/N: Thanks to all of my lovely reviewers. Once again, I'm going to take this opportunity to shamelessly plug myself. Please read and review for my other story, Reverse Parody. Thanks ^_^)

Disclaimer: Yo tengo nada. (Translation: I have nothing)

"Please, please be quiet? Just for a minute?" Jack pleaded with two-year-old Isabelle Turner who hadn't stopped screaming since her parents left ten minutes ago. He racked his brain for any ideas on how to calm her. "Oh I know! Want to hear a song? Want Uncle Jack to sing you a song?" He asked.

Isabelle paused for a moment then kept on sobbing. "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot. Drink up me 'earties, yo ho. We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot. Drink up me 'earties, yo ho." Jack sang, slightly off key.

It didn't work. Isabelle just kept crying, occasionally adding "Ma-Ma!" Or "Da-Da!"

"Want a story?" Jack asked, bouncing her up and down on his knee. Isabelle actually quieted down. "Okay, a story. Um. I'll tell you about the time that I got back the Black Pearl." He said.

Isabelle made a face. She squirmed out of Jack's grip and crawled up the stairs. "I don't think you should be up there!" Jack jumped up and followed her. When he reached the top of the stairs, he couldn't see her anymore. "Isabelle?" He called down the narrow hallway.

"Isabelle Nicole Turner! Get back here!" Jack slowly looked in each room. "Oh great. Now I'm sounding like Will." He grumbled. He found her in Will and Elizabeth's bedroom, heading over to the balcony.

"NO!" Jack shouted as he sped over to her. He tripped over something left lying on the floor and performed an impressive somersault over the bed. Isabelle laughed and clapped her hands as he landed with a loud thud.

"Ow!" Jack gently rubbed his back.

"Mo! Mo!" Isabelle cheered. She sat on the floor and patiently waited for Jack to pull off his next trick to amuse her.

"So you think that's funny? You enjoy seeing me hurt?" Jack groaned slightly as he stood up. He grabbed Isabelle's hand and took her back downstairs.

"We'll just stay down here for now." He sat her on the couch. She stared at him, still expecting another trick. "No, I'm going to kill myself just for your amusement." Jack shook his head.

Isabelle's eyes began to water again and she whimpered, as if warning him that if he didn't obey she'd cry again.

"No. You can just forget it." Jack crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. Isabelle took a deep breath and screamed as loud as her little lungs would allow. "Not working!" Jack yelled, struggling to be heard. After another moment of eardrum shattering shrieking, Jack finally gave in.

"Alright! Alright!" He stood up. Isabelle immediately stopped yelling and looked at him expectantly. She waited patiently as he tried to think of something to amuse her.

"Mon!" She cried after several minutes and no entertainment.

"I'm thinking!" Jack exclaimed, then shook his head. "I'm defending myself to a two-year-old." He muttered to himself. Isabelle soon grew impatient, slid off the couch, and pulled on Jack's shirt.

"Now!" She demanded with a small frown.

"Well what would you like me to do?" Jack questioned irritably. Isabelle ran to the corner and grabbed a small wooden play sword, no doubt a gift from her father. She clutched it tightly in her small fist and jabbed Jack in the leg with it.

"Now!" She said, continuing her assault on Jack's legs. "Now!" She repeated after every stab.

"OW!" Jack shouted. "No more sword!" He tried to take it, but Isabelle held on tightly.

"MINE!" She screamed, keeping a firm grip on it. She turned it so that the point, which was rather sharp for a toy, made hard contact with Jack's hand, nearly breaking the skin.

"OW!" Jack let go of the toy and looked at his hand. "Pretty sharp for a bloody toy." He silently cursed Will for introducing his daughter to swords.

"Mine!" Isabelle cheered and celebrated by smacking the wooden blade into Jack's shin as hard as she could. Jack let out a cry of pain and fell to the ground, making Isabelle laugh.

"Are you trying to kill me?!" Jack grabbed the sword when Isabelle was too busy laughing and tossed it carelessly behind him. His eyes widened when he heard a loud crash. "What was that?" He wondered. Isabelle gave a gasp.

"Bad!" She scolded, pointing at Jack. Jack ignored her and went to investigate the crash. Isabelle toddled along behind him.

"That's not good." Jack mumbled, staring at the remains of a lovely oak shelf set. It had once contained keepsakes from Will and Elizabeth's wedding and from Isabelle's birth, all of which were now lying shattered and destroyed at Jack's feet. He had also managed to demolish a large, very expensive looking vase that had sat behind the shelves.

"Alright. This is the story we're going to go with." Jack crouched down to Isabelle's eye level. "Pirates came in, we fought them off, and in the battle everything was broken. What do you think?" He asked. Isabelle just stared at him. "Not believable enough? Yeah, I guess you're right." He sighed.

"I'll think of something." Jack mused for a moment then turned back to Isabelle. "Until I do, you are to stay here while I clean and fabricate." He took her back to the couch and gave her a toy to play with. "Now where can I put these?" He thought aloud, glancing at the remains.

"Ah ha!" Jack swept everything under the Oriental rug. "No. Too obvious." He shook his head. "In here!" He pushed everything into a small closet. "There we go." He smiled as he observed his handiwork. "They'll never even notice." He looked at the couch and found it empty. "Not again." He groaned.

"Isabelle?" He called. He ran upstairs and checked Will and Elizabeth's bedroom first. Isabelle wasn't there. "Come on. Give me a break." Jack mumbled as he checked the other rooms.

He couldn't find her anywhere. "Isabelle!" He yelled. Nothing. "It's alright Jack. Just calm down." He told himself. "Oh what a great job you're doing Jack. First, you demolish their things and now you lose their kid." He groaned. "I didn't mean to. WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF?" He exclaimed.

"I'm losing it. I'm just daft." He muttered. He checked every room upstairs again until he satisfied himself that Isabelle wasn't there.

"Okay, Okay. I'm going to freak right out." Jack murmured, trying to calm himself. He went downstairs and paced, trying to think of where she might be.

"Just think of a plan Jack. Just think of a plan. You always have a plan. What's your plan?" He questioned himself. "I don't know. I'll think of something. I'll think of something." He continued pacing.

"What am I going to do?" He groaned, but continued thinking.

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(A/N: Hopefully you all enjoyed that. This story is harder than I expected to write. Anyways, I slipped in two references to two other Johnny Depp characters that I think are fairly obvious. Tell me in the reviews if you caught them)

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