Prologue
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters I'm talking about. But I don't think this plot has been tried before so... I'm not copying anyone that way. I am, however, completely ripping off J.K. Rowling in many aspects. So shoot me.
-x-
It feels like the whole world is falling down around me. I'm standing still, and everybody else is rushing about living their lives, but I'm too busy just standing here to have any idea how to join in. I somehow got split up from the rest of my tour group, and I'm lost in another place. But I haven't got a tour guide looking for me. I'm going mad, being completely alone, with nobody ever by my side. The only time it ever slows down is when I see him.
After all these years he still looks the same. I remember at Hogwarts when he would look into my eyes, just for a moment, and I would melt in them. The huge puddles would pull me in and I would be drowning. But I never wanted anyone to pull me out. I was in love with him even then. Nobody believes in love at first sight. Apart from me. That first time, by the train... Sure, I'd seen pictures. But nothing prepared me for the way I would feel. I didn't notice his scar. His now infamous hair. For me it was the eyes... always those eyes.
I stood no chance with him. And I knew it. I was a little girl that just happened to be his best mate's kid sister. He never felt anything for me. So I gave up after a while. Gave up hoping, I mean. I never gave up loving. I just knew it would be forever unrequited.
But now I stand even less chance. I'm just an adult that can't forget about a teenage infatuation. An adult past breaking point, who's barely standing. The only reason I am still standing is that last thread of humanity I'm clinging onto. That last thread that he seems to have embedded in me. But I don't know how long it will be before that thread breaks, and I'll be falling... falling... with nobody to catch me.
It's hilarious, really. A Death Eater, in love with Harry Potter. The notion almost makes me laugh, until I remember that's me. I never realised how far gone I was, until Dumbledore... But now the only man left who stands a chance of defeating Him is Harry. The man I am hopelessly in love with. Part of me longs for them to stay apart. Not because I would be killed in the crossfire- I know I'd be one of the first to go- but now it seems inevitable. I just can't lose Harry. Not that I have him at the moment... not that he would want anything to do with me at all... but he's my last support, my last strong link. The thing that keeps me alive until morning. And I know, in my heart, he couldn't beat He Who... he couldn't beat Voldemort.
I've met him, pledged alliance to him... why shouldn't I be afraid to say his name? I should be afraid of him but not his name, yet somehow it's the opposite. I'm not the same as all the other Death Eaters... I don't bow down before him or cower in his presence. I remind myself of the hundreds of thousands of people he's killed or tortured... I even remind myself of all the things he did to Harry, and still... nothing. There's no hate, no horror. Voldemort just isn't... he's not the same. Not the same monster that he's made out to be. I remember him as Tom Riddle. As my friend. My friend who tried to kill me, but he was human. And I think I'm starting to understand. I think I know why I saw fear in Dumbledore's eyes. Why I'm not afraid of the epitome of evil. Why I no longer seem to fit in either camp.
I understand, but I don't understand why me. Why am I so different? But I still feel the same. The same old Ginny. Who fought Death eaters alongside Harry. Who then went on to become one of the people she once hated with a vengeance. And I'm starting to hate me too. Because deep down I know this is wrong. So I'm dying for him to stop me falling, before I'm not scared at all. He needs to save me... before I embrace it.
He always saves me in my dreams. In real life I know he'd kill me. Take one look at me, and detest me so much that he wouldn't have any doubts about throwing one spell at me. And I'm so in love with him... I could stop him, if he tried. I'm as powerful a witch as there ever was, or so He says. And I believe Him. He doesn't lie. But I wouldn't stop him. Because to look at Harry... see those eyes despising me... that would make me feel worse than if I was dead. I couldn't stop him from hurting me. So I've figured it out. The only way to save me... is to kill me.
-x-
End it on this: well, I for one like the idea I've got for a plot. So I'm going to carry on writing it. But I'd love to know what you thought, so please review. It'll take a second if that, and you know you want to... deep down.