Part 5
The concealed door in the rock opened, and Kay Baudelaire rushed out to meet her children.
"Mother! Mother!" they all cried, hugging her.
"Oh how we missed you. How did you..." started Violet.
"What happened..." started Klaus.
"Why?" asked Sunny.
Kay held up a hand. "Just a moment, darlings. I wasn't supposed to show myself unless something went wrong. Quigley, what was it?"
"They fought fire with fire," said Quigley. "Olaf and Esmé are dead."
Kay sighed. "Oh dear."
Violet felt a horrible hollow space deep in her stomach. "You weren't... you weren't going to show yourself? What do you mean?"
"It's Volunteer Fearlessness Development, sweetheart. V.F.D. recruits are trained and tested by exposing them to dangerous situations they have to get through on their own," said Kay.
"V.F.D. agents monitor your progress," said Quigley, "but they aren't supposed to reveal their identity as agents or give direct help unless you ask for it. I made a couple of slips that nearly gave me away. I said that Bruce had caused the V.F.D. enough trouble without learning another of our secrets. And I mentioned that your telegram never arrived. I realized later I couldn't have gotten that from Jacques' notes, because Jacques was dead by then."
"But Count Olaf said you weren't in the V.F.D.," said Violet.
"He didn't know," said Quigley. "All of us triplets were recruited after the fire that killed my father and mother."
"Your mother, Beatrice Quagmire, was a great V.F.D. agent, and much loved by my brother," said Kay. "It's good that you are following in her footsteps."
"Isadora? Duncan?" asked Sunny, meaning, "Isadora and Duncan were in on the whole thing, too? They lied to us?"
"Yes, everywhere you went the V.F.D. had agents -- at Prufrock they were Isadora, Duncan, and the school librarian," said Kay. "Mr. Poe was easily manipulated into sending you where we wanted. It got harder to track you when you went out on your own, but we managed."
Klaus, almost choking on the words, said, "So all we went through, the grief and the pain, the dangers from villains and leeches and lions, the misery at the Lucky Smells Mill and the Prufrock Preparatory School and the Heimlich Hospital and the Caligari Carnival was all just a TEST? We could have died!"
"Yargh!" cried Sunny, which meant "I am extremely upset at this development."
"Duncan, Isadora, and myself went through hardships for training, too," said Quigley. "I had to hide three days inside a snowman while we waited for your Uncle Monty to respond to a message -- he never did. And Isadora and Duncan had to spend months at Prufrock listening to Principal Nero's horrible violin playing."
"But nothing like what we went through," said Violet.
"That's because you showed such talent," said Kay. "Your inventing skills, and Klaus' research ability, and Sunny's talent for biting and language. You had to be tested harder than the rest. To whom much is given, much is required."
"Iphigenia!" said Sunny, which meant something like, "I feel like we're been sacrificed to a cause, which is a horrible thing for a parent to do to a child."
"I know it must seem that way to you, Sunny," said Kay. "But in these hard times when there's a schism in the V.F.D. we have to have strong, fearless agents."
Quigley said, "Our motto, 'The world is quiet here' doesn't just mean the quiet of a library. It means the quiet of the grave. We're willing to die for our cause. Like my mother and your father did. But we never murder."
"You let us become murderers," said Violet. "All because of your stupid secret society."
"I'll get you a good lawyer, darlings," said Kay.
"As far as I'm concerned, your side of the V.F.D is as bad as the other!" said Klaus.
"It's for the greater good," said Kay.
"You say that, too?" cried Violet. "I hate you! I hate you!" In a blind rage, she pushed her mother away. Unfortunately, Violet had forgotten that they were standing on the precipice of the slippery slope. My sister fell, taking a different path than the late Count Olaf. She didn't skid across the ice. Instead she hit a half-submerged rock and lay still.
"MOTHERRR!" cried Sunny and Klaus.
"No! Oh no! Not Mother too!" Violet sobbed. "I didn't mean to."
"I know," said Quigley, putting an arm around her. "Let's go."
"Get away from me, Quigley!" Violet snapped. "You and your lies and tests! You were the one who suggested the trap in the first place. Get out of here right now before you're next. I'm feeling so crazy I don't know what I might do. I can't believe I let you kiss me."
Klaus glowered and made fists. Sunny bared her four sharp teeth. Quigley dashed for the rock passage, pulled the door shut from inside, and locked it.
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny looked at each other.
"What do we do now?" asked Klaus. "We were on the run as killers before but we had the hope of clearing our name. Now we don't."
"We can't trust either side of the V.F.D.," said Violet. "I'll fix the flat tire and we'll take Olaf's car. It has food, supplies, and disguises. We'll take the tents, too. If Olaf and his troupe could live by their wits, so can we."
"Autoknow?" said Sunny, meaning "Do you know how to drive?"
"I'll figure it out," said Violet.
-------------
Here my tale of the Baudelaires must come to an end. It has been my sad duty to report the unfortunate adventures of these children in order that our scattered faction of the V.F.D. might evaluate their progress in Volunteer Fearlessness Development. I included plenty of caveats (which here means statements like "please do not read these miserable tales") so that the average reader would not get into them and learn our secrets. I have no heart to record the further slide of the Baudelaire orphans down the slippery slope into a life of crime.
And yet, I can't help but wonder if the Baudelaires were right in saying our side of the V.F.D. is as bad as the other. We've become quite ruthless (which here means "hard-hearted enough to put innocent children through a series of unfortunate events.") We ourselves may be on a slippery slope. One step leads to another, from noble causes to necessary evils to moral uncertainty to villainy to conspiracies to an overall feeling of doom.
For now, I will devote my efforts to recovering the sugar bowl and clearing my name. Then I will resign from the organization that has cost the lives of my brother Jacques, my sister Kay, and my beloved Beatrice.
With all due respect (which here means "none"),
Lemony Snicket
The concealed door in the rock opened, and Kay Baudelaire rushed out to meet her children.
"Mother! Mother!" they all cried, hugging her.
"Oh how we missed you. How did you..." started Violet.
"What happened..." started Klaus.
"Why?" asked Sunny.
Kay held up a hand. "Just a moment, darlings. I wasn't supposed to show myself unless something went wrong. Quigley, what was it?"
"They fought fire with fire," said Quigley. "Olaf and Esmé are dead."
Kay sighed. "Oh dear."
Violet felt a horrible hollow space deep in her stomach. "You weren't... you weren't going to show yourself? What do you mean?"
"It's Volunteer Fearlessness Development, sweetheart. V.F.D. recruits are trained and tested by exposing them to dangerous situations they have to get through on their own," said Kay.
"V.F.D. agents monitor your progress," said Quigley, "but they aren't supposed to reveal their identity as agents or give direct help unless you ask for it. I made a couple of slips that nearly gave me away. I said that Bruce had caused the V.F.D. enough trouble without learning another of our secrets. And I mentioned that your telegram never arrived. I realized later I couldn't have gotten that from Jacques' notes, because Jacques was dead by then."
"But Count Olaf said you weren't in the V.F.D.," said Violet.
"He didn't know," said Quigley. "All of us triplets were recruited after the fire that killed my father and mother."
"Your mother, Beatrice Quagmire, was a great V.F.D. agent, and much loved by my brother," said Kay. "It's good that you are following in her footsteps."
"Isadora? Duncan?" asked Sunny, meaning, "Isadora and Duncan were in on the whole thing, too? They lied to us?"
"Yes, everywhere you went the V.F.D. had agents -- at Prufrock they were Isadora, Duncan, and the school librarian," said Kay. "Mr. Poe was easily manipulated into sending you where we wanted. It got harder to track you when you went out on your own, but we managed."
Klaus, almost choking on the words, said, "So all we went through, the grief and the pain, the dangers from villains and leeches and lions, the misery at the Lucky Smells Mill and the Prufrock Preparatory School and the Heimlich Hospital and the Caligari Carnival was all just a TEST? We could have died!"
"Yargh!" cried Sunny, which meant "I am extremely upset at this development."
"Duncan, Isadora, and myself went through hardships for training, too," said Quigley. "I had to hide three days inside a snowman while we waited for your Uncle Monty to respond to a message -- he never did. And Isadora and Duncan had to spend months at Prufrock listening to Principal Nero's horrible violin playing."
"But nothing like what we went through," said Violet.
"That's because you showed such talent," said Kay. "Your inventing skills, and Klaus' research ability, and Sunny's talent for biting and language. You had to be tested harder than the rest. To whom much is given, much is required."
"Iphigenia!" said Sunny, which meant something like, "I feel like we're been sacrificed to a cause, which is a horrible thing for a parent to do to a child."
"I know it must seem that way to you, Sunny," said Kay. "But in these hard times when there's a schism in the V.F.D. we have to have strong, fearless agents."
Quigley said, "Our motto, 'The world is quiet here' doesn't just mean the quiet of a library. It means the quiet of the grave. We're willing to die for our cause. Like my mother and your father did. But we never murder."
"You let us become murderers," said Violet. "All because of your stupid secret society."
"I'll get you a good lawyer, darlings," said Kay.
"As far as I'm concerned, your side of the V.F.D is as bad as the other!" said Klaus.
"It's for the greater good," said Kay.
"You say that, too?" cried Violet. "I hate you! I hate you!" In a blind rage, she pushed her mother away. Unfortunately, Violet had forgotten that they were standing on the precipice of the slippery slope. My sister fell, taking a different path than the late Count Olaf. She didn't skid across the ice. Instead she hit a half-submerged rock and lay still.
"MOTHERRR!" cried Sunny and Klaus.
"No! Oh no! Not Mother too!" Violet sobbed. "I didn't mean to."
"I know," said Quigley, putting an arm around her. "Let's go."
"Get away from me, Quigley!" Violet snapped. "You and your lies and tests! You were the one who suggested the trap in the first place. Get out of here right now before you're next. I'm feeling so crazy I don't know what I might do. I can't believe I let you kiss me."
Klaus glowered and made fists. Sunny bared her four sharp teeth. Quigley dashed for the rock passage, pulled the door shut from inside, and locked it.
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny looked at each other.
"What do we do now?" asked Klaus. "We were on the run as killers before but we had the hope of clearing our name. Now we don't."
"We can't trust either side of the V.F.D.," said Violet. "I'll fix the flat tire and we'll take Olaf's car. It has food, supplies, and disguises. We'll take the tents, too. If Olaf and his troupe could live by their wits, so can we."
"Autoknow?" said Sunny, meaning "Do you know how to drive?"
"I'll figure it out," said Violet.
-------------
Here my tale of the Baudelaires must come to an end. It has been my sad duty to report the unfortunate adventures of these children in order that our scattered faction of the V.F.D. might evaluate their progress in Volunteer Fearlessness Development. I included plenty of caveats (which here means statements like "please do not read these miserable tales") so that the average reader would not get into them and learn our secrets. I have no heart to record the further slide of the Baudelaire orphans down the slippery slope into a life of crime.
And yet, I can't help but wonder if the Baudelaires were right in saying our side of the V.F.D. is as bad as the other. We've become quite ruthless (which here means "hard-hearted enough to put innocent children through a series of unfortunate events.") We ourselves may be on a slippery slope. One step leads to another, from noble causes to necessary evils to moral uncertainty to villainy to conspiracies to an overall feeling of doom.
For now, I will devote my efforts to recovering the sugar bowl and clearing my name. Then I will resign from the organization that has cost the lives of my brother Jacques, my sister Kay, and my beloved Beatrice.
With all due respect (which here means "none"),
Lemony Snicket