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Issue 1

Second Age

Year 3441

Friday, October 13

Today was the official end of the Great Murder trial of the Second Age. Isildor was tried and convicted for the murder of Sauron the Deceiver. When the Middle Earth Chronicles asked why he did such a terrible act he said this, "We were having a bad marriage. He was just going around, just giving anyone rings, pretty ones mind you, elves, humans, even dwarves. Anyway, he said, 'If you don't like it you can just kiss our marriage good by!' so I did. I went to live at my father's house for a while and he suggested that I should go teach that two-timing ring giver a lesson. So, we got together some friends and we tried to mob him but scared and fainted, all except for me of course. I couldn't run away so I marched up to him and said, "Sauron you give me back that wedding ring or else.' Then he said, 'No way, it's mine." So I tried to intimidate him by looking like I was going to cut off his finger but I accidentally did. He died from the blood loss. I wanted to save him but my cell phone had no service. We had a cottage on a mountain you see. So he died in my arms. The neighbors heard my wailing and they called the cops. So that's why I'm here."

Evidence shows that would have been charged with man slaughter if Sauron had been a human man and if Isildor hadn't taken the ring, which Isildor is too big for his dainty, little fingers anyway. He also could have pleaded insanity but in this day and age we still execute the insane, so would suffer same fate anyway.

Later that day Isildor was executed by being shot by a line of arrows. They were also Sauron's closest friends. Here is what one ork, by the name Ukosnok, said about executing Isildor, "It brought me great justice to kill him. When ever we were over for poker or plotting to rule Middle Earth, he would always but in by saying, "you'll never win with a pair of twos, Ukosnok, or they're never going to let you borrow the elves to torture and mutilate.' All he did was yack, yack, yack. There was no shutting him up."

Unfortunately we could not ask any close family members how they because there was only a two year old baby and an annoying mother who kept saying, 'I knew he shouldn't have run off with that Sauron man instead of me. I mean he got ME pregnant.'

Isildor's body will be dumped into a river near the Misty Mountains. Along with all his belongings which was just his cloths and his marriage ring. Isildor's child was too young to understand what was going on and the child's mother was too bitter to care where he was going to be dumped.

By: Ariadne Lirima

How did you like the first issue of The Middle Earth Chronicles? If you liked it, you may review me and I will continue to write. If you didn't like it, constructive criticism only please, if you must tell me. Also, if you had read Tabloids of LOTR then you'll realize that I'm ripping Rowanrim off. Well guess what everyone? I am Rowanrim. MWAHAHAHAHA! Tootles.