A special thanks to my reviewers: instantpudding, mystery GYRL, and Esmerelda Sparrow! My next chapter! I got it out as soon as possible. Oh, sorry bout the last chapter. I don't know where the asterisks went.

Nooli: Do you like my story, sweetie?

Johnny Depp: NO.

Nooli: ::Pout:: Now, now dearie, no need to be mean takes out knife

Johnny Depp: gulp I mean, it was an absolutely terrific story!

Nooli: girly smile You think so? Awww.... aren't you sweet?

Chapter 2: Ambush

-in Mort's cabin-

Mort & Homicidal Mort: -pant pant-

Perverted Mort: -runs into cabin- What's wrong, guys? Don't you love me?

M & HM: -run up the stairs and slam the bedroom door-

HM: -turns to Mort- No...more...Viagra.

-hours later-

M: So...who's making dinner?

-HM & PM disappear back into Mort's body-

M: Hey! That's not fair!

HM: Bummer, Mort

PM: Hey! That's my line!

M: No, it's my line!

PM: No, mine!

M: Mine!

PM: Mine!

M: Mine!

HM: Hurry up and go make dinner, Mort.

M: -blush- Hey, at least I didn't go out and kill 4 people!

HM: Shut up, Morty boy.

M: Don't tell me to shut up! You shut up!

HM: You're the crazy one! You shut up!

M: No, you!

PM: Both of you shut up!

HM & M: NO!

-1 hour later-

PM: Are you guys done?

HM & M: Yes.

PM: That's fine and dandy, boys, but I'm hungry.

M: -sigh- Fine, I'll go.

-cooks-

-HM & PM come back out of Mort's body-

HM: Yummy! It's cold pasta!

M: Shut up.

HM: Don't get me started again!

PM: -rolls eyes-

HM: Now hurry up and eat.

M: Make me.

HM: -holds up fork menacingly-

M: -flinch- MOMMY!!!!!

PM: Both of you STOP. Do NOT make me bring out the lubricant.

M & HM: -look terrified and start stuffing their mouths-

HM: -whispers- Was he serious?

M: SHHHH!!!!

PM: -glare-

M & HM: -start stuffing mouths again-

-after eating-

M: Urghhh..........

HM: I'm stuffed.

PM: Why don't you guys work out?

M: What, so you'll be able to see us with our shirts off???

PM: I'll be in the loft finishing a story so we'd have so money to live off of, thank you very much.

HM: Psh. What are you going to write? PORN??? I think I'll work out so I don't hear you jerk off. -jumps on bicycle machine-

M: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! That's disgusting! I think I'll work out too. -shudder- -lifts weights on bench-

-a while later-

PM: Hehehe

HM: I'm pretending I didn't hear that.

M: -grunt grunt- (A/N: Don't worry! He's just lifting weights. I know you all are disappointed.)

-meanwhile in Johnny Depp Fangirl Headquarters...-

Fangirl #1: What's that sound?

Fangirl #64 : What sound?

Fangirl #1: Listen - everyone listens carefully -

All the fangirls: -squeal- (glass breaks) It's Johnny!!!

Fangirl #1099: And whatever he's doing, he's grunting!

Fangirl #537: -giggle- Let's go!

-back in the cabin-

HM: Do you hear that?

PM: Hear what?

M: -grunt grunt-

HM: Be quiet, Mort!

M: -mimics- Be quiiiiiiiiiiiiet, Mooooooooooooort!

HM: -slaps Mort-

M: You slapped me!

PM: SHHH!

-rumble rumble rumble-

-everything starts shaking-

-rumble rumble rumble-

-squeal-

PM & HM & M: -look terrified-

PM: TAKE COVER!!!!!!!!!

HM: FANGIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!

HM & PM: -dive back into Mort's body-

M: OH MY GOSH! HELP! HELP! HELP! -runs in circles-

-entire front of house gets run down by fangirls-

Fangirls: EEEEEEEEEH!!!!!!!!!!! Look! Johnny's all sweaty!! -drool- -tackles Mort-

M: Help mEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

PM: I'll save you! -reappears in Mort's bodily form-

HM: idiot...

Fangirls: -SQUEAL- There's two!!!!

Fangirl #1: Grab him, girls!

M: Hey! My pants!

HM: Gimmee my shirt back! HEY!

M: Oh no! Not the gumdrop buttons!

-complete silence-

-Cricket......-

M: eh heh... Just kidding?

Fangirl #1: Grab the other one's pants!

Fangirls: -squeal- -giggle-

HM: - -;;

Whew! That was a long chapter. Well, it felt like it was. How did you like it? Review! Even those of you that have already reviewed it for the previous chapter, review it again!!!!!!!! Thanks muchos ppl! I dunno why, but the asterisks won't show up! I had to use hyphens. urghh..