A Tragic Love
Disclaimer: I own Inuyasha...No I don't but I wanted to know how it felt to write it—I felt a million dollars richer
Ch. 19: And It All Falls Down
"Hahaha, this is pathetic. Don't just stand there Sora, scold her! I can't believe you are reminiscing your stupid love affair when your wretch of a daughter is going to, any minute now, run out that door and see that filthy brat!" her mother screamed, her voice blasting like a siren in heat. She had unfortunately reemerged from the kitchen and was gradually making her way towards Kagome and her father, each watching her in anticipation.
Kagome felt a cold sliver go down her spine. She had seen her mother angry many times but at this moment, she could feel her mother's anger was reaching to the point of insane rage. The past that her mother sought to hide was finally being unearthed before her eyes. Her mother's breathing grew uneasy, her eyes shifting from left to right in a ping pong motion, and soon perspiration began to form just below her hair line. It was as though she was undergoing a radioactive transformation—liken to the Hulk. Was it merely the fact that she had remembered her father's affair? Or was there something more to this past that Kagome did not know about? Shit, she didn't know anything but she was beginning to see how twisted the life of her family and everyone connected to them were.
Kagome froze, her mind rewinding the last few months' events. Her mind was desperately scanning for answers to the questions on her lips and yet there were no answers. There were only more questions. Soon, the only thing she concurred from digging deep within her memory was the mere fact that her life was warped and she found that her touch was deadly. Was she the reason for everyone's unhappiness? What was wrong with her? Why did her parents despise her? She was a poison—sucking at the souls of the innocent, reeking havoc in the lives of those she loved or should love.
Kagome lifted her hands and stared at them as though they were dripping with blood. Her eyes shot open—flames of fear encircling her pupils. But she did not cry. She merely stood there, examining her hands while her parents looked at her in dismay—speechless to her abrupt actions.
"Kagome, what are you doing?" her father asked her.
"I'm nobody," Kagome whispered, setting down her hands but still retaining that look of bewilderment in her face.
"What the hell are you babbling about?" her father asked her, his voice raised and his tone uneasy. They stared at her as though she were finally turning insane—an event they knew would come one day.
"I am no one," Kagome repeated, shifting her eyes from one parent to the other, her brain at the brink of meltdown.
Her mother approached her, hoping a slap in the face would snap her out of her psychotic nonsense. But she found that she needn't to move because Kagome, slowly, was approaching her, a cold look on her face.
Kagome had never realized it before but she didn't look anything like her mother. They were strangers internally and externally. She had always thought her hands came from her mother—soft and supple; capable of killing. But they too did not come from her mother's seed. Kagome approached her mother and with her left hand fingered through the air until her hand softly handed on her mother's face, tracing every curve, dip, and bump. Her mother, half petrified and half intrigued stood there and did not move an inch until her daughter finally retrieved her hand from on top of her face.
"Isn't it funny mother that being your daughter, we have no similar features?" Kagome asked. Her mother looked at her, a curtain of aguish covering her face. She bowed her head and her hair streamed over to cover her cowering face. She moaned and Kagome thought she was crying. But as her mother lifted her face, Kagome did not see tears in her eyes. They were bright, awake, and curved from the smile across her face.
"You have that to thank from your father," she said, restraining herself to laugh.
Kagome turned to her father, who was still silent by her mother's side and still holding the picture of the mysterious Damaru. Her father's corruption and power had marked him a man to fear but to Kagome, seeing him now, he was not man but a scared boy who lost the only woman he loved.
"You know Kagome; we all have to make choices in life," her father said, "We all have to make sacrifices. I gave up Damaru because she was a Bakemono and your mother, well; she gave up her own true love because he was a poor farmer."
Kagome lifted her eyes away from her father and turned to her mother who was surprisingly silent. So, Kagome thought, that's why she's so bitter. Her mother did in fact have a heart and it was broken—shredded by the hands of power and money. She had given her heart to a man whose love for her was forbidden but it was a real love unlike the one she was sharing with her father, whose own heart was filled with memories of his own only love. Sadly, throughout time their love for each other was never consummated, instead their own individual loves for the ones close to their hearts grew by each passing year.
"I see," Kagome muttered, "you want me to live a life like you and mother." Her father nodded, putting the picture away in his right pocket.
"I'm glad you understand."
But Kagome wasn't finished. "You want me to live a life where I am forced to give my heart to a man I truly detest, pretending each day when I wake up that I love him when in reality my heart has shriveled away years ago because it was already given away to a man I did love. You want me to feel the same despair and incompleteness you and mother felt and are still feeling. Why? Because you want me to be happy. Does money really make you happy?"
Her parents looked at her, pain written on their face. The words stung too hard and it seeped inside of them poisoning all of the barriers their created.
"Who do I belong to, father!" Kagome demanded. Her father sighed and said, "I think you already know."
And it when then that she collapsed to the floor, flashes of red heels, violet eyes, and finally a whole image of a woman in a red dress sitting in her father's office. She tried to release her mind from the painful images but it was futile as her mind wandered through the past searching for more clues, more answers to the burning riddles in her life. Her mother had treated her so horribly not because she was a bad child but because she wasn't her child and she knew it. She treated her like what she was—half Bakemono.
--
Sesshoumaru's lower lip quivered as he watched his mother's steps quicken towards him and his helpless lover. He looked down at his little angel, the light of his life of hell and was taken aback to see she was not cowering from his mother's deafening screams. Her eyes were focused, swirling with distaste for the woman who stood as an opposition to her happiness.
Rin had never felt this sensation surging through her small frame—it was like fireworks going off in her body, which felt almost orgasmic. She stood then, lifted from strength unknown to her, descending from heaven. Sesshoumaru's eyes wondered from his rising girlfriend to his fear stricken mother, her feet slowly easing backward. But Rin's outburst of strength was no match to his father—a one hundred and fifty pound gun ready to go off at any second. He looked rather weak but he was a tiger. He was the worst kind of power, his physical strength was a negative zero but he was unsuspecting, able to demolish without lifting an eye and you would never see it coming. He walked in at that moment, lifted an eye to his devious eldest son and turned to his unworthy girlfriend, her right hand in a fist and her eye twitching from the anger slowly building up inside her.
He had wanted to laugh then. Did she think she could just stand there and threaten his family? Shit no. He set down his keys—although upon placing it on the table he thought that maybe he could have used it as a lethal weapon. But it was no use now. Approaching the couple random thoughts went through his mind, all of them leading to how much he wanted to take his son's girlfriend and wring her neck until every drop of blood was squeezed out of her body. But violence, he knew, would solve nothing. He was known to be quite a bad-ass as a teen and he used his wit and heartlessness against anyone that got in his way. He liked the power of being a Chikara and he loved using that power to kill off those who he deemed unworthy of his sight. He looked at Rin and grinned. How was he going to kill her off?
"What's happening in here?" he called out, his voice echoed like thunder through the high-ceilinged room.
"Father," Sesshoumaru whispered, turning to his Rin and wishing she would cease from making the situation worst. He knew what his father was capable off—he was ruthless and had an eye for blood.
The sight of his father, roughly rubbing his coarse hands over and over, sparked a memory he thought was a dream. He was young in his recollection, his age was unknown to him but he knew he was old enough to know his father was a murderer. He came home in the dead of the night—the lights from outside blasted open and being that Sesshoumaru's room was at the rear, the light flooded his room and he was awakened instantly. Still adjusting to the piercing artificial sun, he lifted an eye and looked outside to see his father with a gun in his hand and blood covering his black leather gloves. Shocked and fear racing through his mind, Sesshoumaru backed off the window sill and fell to the floor, unable to walk properly. Maybe it was a dream, he kept repeating. But he knew it was not, his dreams were never this graphic. They always had naked girls but never his father with a gun.
But he loved his father too much to admit it was true so he jumped into bed again. However, he was a stupid kid and it intrigued him too much for him to forget it ever happened. So, he slipped out of his room and tiptoed downstairs to where his father lay, frantically washing his gloves in the kitchen sink. He looked up every so often, sensing someone there, but shook his head and continued to wash his blood stained gloves.
Sesshoumaru was clueless to it, but his father was a successful corporate dictator by day and an assassin by night. He was hired that night to kill a Bakemono.
Sesshoumaru was reawakened to the real world by a tug on his shirt. He looked down to see Rin's hand clutching his shirt with her free hand. She was shaking uncontrollably and it was obvious she was dead in fear. Sesshoumaru took her hand off his shirt and held onto it himself, clasping her hand in his. She stopped shaking and looked down at the love of her life. She smiled at him and upon his touch; she felt her courage rekindle and double.
"Sesshoumaru," she mouthed. He stood up by her and looked at his "loving" family. He shifted from one family member to the next: His brother was in the background; his arms crossed watching the heightened tension at a safe distance. Sesshoumaru was never close to his brother. He grew to be too much of a snob, loving his Porsche more than his family. But lately, he sensed something different living his brother's soul—something good. He concluded that to be an influence from Kagome. His mother was a couple feet away, her mouth still open from the shock of Rin's perseverance. She was a frail woman, too weak to hit a power punch but her mouth was the devil, spitting out foul comments like it was tobacco. His mother, like his brother, was too self-absorbed in her elite society of white-bread bitches to care about her attention-seeking sons. He finally looked at his father and was disgusted to stare at the man he called father and mentor for so many years. He had worked hard all his life to be in the good graces of his idolized father. He had, for years, rejected the negative comments he heard about his father and the reputation he had for being a cold-blooded tyrant capable of decapitation. But to his son, up until he said he was going to marry Rin, he was a good father to him, taking him under his ropes. Since he could walk, Sesshoumaru wanted to be just like his father. His father was the mother he never had. But now Sesshoumaru could not help but wish he was dead. If his father could not accept Rin, he could not accept his father. He loved Rin too much to lose her. He felt ashamed to have the blood as his father's running through his veins.
He turned to Rin and whispered in her ear. She jumped at first but his warm breathe and comforting words were soothing. "Rin, no matter what, I am not going to lose you."
Rin turned to him and kissed him slightly on the lips.
"Stop with this. You act like a couple who are about to die. I'm not going to kill you," blared his father, finally parting his hand and stuffing them into his Armani suit.
"Are you sure?" Sesshoumaru asked, still clutching his girlfriend's hand.
His father chuckled and then walked towards the bar, digging underneath the counter and retrieving a bottle of vodka and a shot glass. Still chuckling about his naïve son's comment, he poured a glass and gulped it down, enjoying the burn that went straight down his throat.
"Son, would I ever hurt you?"
"I don't know, Lately, I don't think I know you anymore."
His father poured another glass and drank it straight before chuckling, "Son, what are you talking about? Remember me your old man, the one that raised you and looked after you while your mother was too busy kissing the elite ass?"
His mother growled but did not say a word. She knew that in the end he was more powerful than her.
"Even though mother was never here for us...at least...her heart was never as black as yours..." Sesshoumaru whimpered, cowering from his father's devilish smirk and omnipotent disposition. Sesshoumaru half expected to feel his father's harsh hands slap across his face or his mother's screams blaring through the open air. But he was faced with silence and that was deadlier than his parents' wrath. It meant he didn't know what to expect and thus he didn't know how to protect himself and Rin. He was standing vulnerable, his body as a shield against the snares of hell.
"You amaze me, my son," his father said pacing towards his son in small gradual steps that drove Sesshoumaru to the brink of insanity.
"When I see you, I see a pathetic loser, incapable of standing your ground against the opposition. But I have underestimated the anger inside you. I have awakened that and now I am proud that you are my son."
Sesshoumaru stared at his grinning father and shook his head in disgust. Kouga, disturbed by his father's words, shook from fear. Both sons, perplexed and perturbed, backed away from the man they had called father for so long to make way for the devil.
"You know, if you could channel this anger towards our enemies, we would be an unstoppable foe. We could work together to take down all that--"
"You're disgusting!" rang a voice from the background. Kouga stood, his hands dangling in the air, shaking from the rage traveling through his body. He did not understand the sensations flowing through his body—it was a mixture of anger, hatred, sorrow, and fear. But he knew that it was his father that had created the creature inside him, unable to love and care—until he met Kagome. Maybe, he thought, this is what he was designed to be, what he was born to become—like his father. If he had discovered this just months before, he would have cared less, more into his Porsche than the life of another human being. He had always rejected the love from his parents because he was taught love was for the weak and the blind. However, he knew, love had made him stronger. Imagine living life without a heart, he wondered.
"Father, how can you say those things? Is that all we are good for?" Kouga asked, his voice breaking into pieced like glass shattering.
"It is what you do best—you are a Chikara."
"Father," Sesshoumaru cried out, "I don't care if I was born to kill, I wont become like you—you murderer!" he screamed, unaware of what he was saying, merely acting out on his emotions alone.
His father stared at his restless son until a smirk formed from his thin lips, "So, you have a secret, Sesshoumaru?"
Sesshoumaru looked at Rin then and saw the fear across her face. This was too much for her; she was not strong enough to handle all the secrets and lies in his family. But, he was powerless to protect her—this was him.
"Tell me about it," demanded his father.
"I don't know anything. I just remember the gloves...the blood on the gloves and the gun," he said, his voice growing weary. His mother gasped and turned to the husband she thought she knew in revulsion.
"What is he talking about?" she asked, but he did not answer, too consumed in his perverted thoughts of blood and gore.
"Aw yes, but don't be angry with me, my son, it isn't like the person I killed had any importance to us. He was a disgusting Bakemono and he deserves to die," he said calmly.
"Don't tell me you killed someone!" his mother screamed, her hands wrapped tightly across her mouth to prevent her from screaming bloody murder.
'Get with the program, mother,' Sesshoumaru sighed.
"It isn't right to kill anyone," Kouga said, his voice weak.
"Don't worry, over time your mind will get use to the fact that we all die—some sooner than others. Others by will, others my fate and still others by force."
"I won't do this! I refuse! I'm going to get married to Rin and we will never have to see you again!"
"Suit yourself; it will be a cold day in hell before anyone will hire you! Your life as you know it will be miserable."
"I don't care," he turned to Rin, "as long as I'm with her."
"Stop being so damn sappy! This isn't a fucking fairytale, its real life son, and in real life, you damn well need money to survive! You can go ahead and die together!"
"Father, stop it! If they want to be together, let them be!" Kouga yelled.
"Fine, be on your way! I don't ever want to see you again. And don't even dare come crawling back to me! I would soon kick you in the face and sending you screaming in a den of tigers then help you. Remember that."
"That's it!"
"It's never it."
"I see there will be no end! No matter where I go, you will be there to torment me!"
"I guess so," his father hissed, pleasure in his voice.
"Will you hurt my family?" Rin screamed. Sesshoumaru held her back to keep her from jumping on him.
"Don't be stupid, little girl. I don't do that for free."
"You mean you are hired to kill?" Rin asked in fear.
He merely nodded his head, pleased to see the pain in her face.
"So who hired you to kill that Bakemono?" Kouga asked, knee deep in curiosity.
He stared at his waiting family, their mouths opens and their eyes wide with fear. "Isn't it obvious? His greatest enemy, even greater than ourselves."
--
Kagome raced towards the hospital in her father's Jag, doing a fierce reverse and drove it into park, burning rubber. It was a miracle she didn't die on the way here, her mind was too warped and too baffled to think clearly. She took the keys out of the ignition and just sat there, staring at herself in the rearview mirror, and trying to desperately find a trace of her mother but found nothing. Kagome laughed, seeing the irony in what she was doing. All her life, she kept her mother at a far distance, hoping that the farther she was, the less distinguishable she was as her mother. However, there weren't any traits of her mother's that resided in herself—she was caught in a lie all her life and she never knew it. She spent half her life denying this treacherous woman to be her mother when all along she never was. Kagome shook her head in confusion. Knowing the witch wasn't her mother was a relief because it meant that she could hate her without feeling guilty but it pained her to know that the woman that was her mother was a Bakemono. And not just any Bakemono but the mother of the man she called her first love.
She didn't understand what she had done wrong to deserve this. Then she knew—she had wished all her life that her mother wasn't really her mother and when her wish was granted, it came with a deadly price. She had to give up the man she loved. She thought that Inuyasha and her are related sickened her to the point of nausea.
Kagome closed her eyes and sighed, trying to picture Inuyasha as he was before the coma. He was so beautiful—so true to himself and his character so evident in the way he walked and talked. But there was something internally beautiful in Inuyasha that no one knew about and a part of him he refused to reveal because it would mean divulging a form of weakness. But he had exposed it to Kagome and she fell in love with his softness and his kindness, which he deemed his kryptonite. And as she approached her Inuyasha in her mind, she felt him slip away and as she touched his muscular shoulders, it sparked a circuit of red fluid that ran across his body like pulsating veins. He was screaming then and soon the veins converged to form letters and soon a word: FORBIDDEN. Kagome jumped back as she watched Inuyasha scream for her. But she could not touch him, could not feel his body against hers. He was no longer hers to touch. She opened her eyes then and stared at her self again, disgusted by what she saw.
Kagome opened her car door and glanced at the hospital, taking small baby steps to her doom. Why had she come here when all it would give her was pain and torment? She was teeming with ambiguity but she refused to turn around and give up. This wasn't fair! It was never fair! She had never done anything in her life that would cause her such misery. Maybe it was because she was a Higarashi; maybe that is what she has to pay for being in family of heartless vampires. Kagome stopped then and watched her mother walk out of the CR in tears. Inuyasha, her brain screamed, is he okay? She raced towards his door but was stopped by a doctor who refused to let her peer into the dark room. She struggled and fought but was denied the opportunity to see her.
--
She stepped back and turned to face an empty wall. What was he to her? She turned to a familiar voice calling her. It was her mother.
"Kagome, I am glad you visited. But you didn't have to come too late in the evening," she said with tears still streaming down her pale face.
"What happened?"
Her mother's smile widened by her question and went to hug her. Kagome felt uncomfortable, not knowing how to react. But her body against her felt good—so this is what it feels like to be hugged by your mother.
She reached for her in return and hugged her. She was too overcome with joy from hugging her mother, she had forgotten what she had said until it dawned on her moments after the bear hug.
"Inuyasha!" she screamed. Damaru let go of Kagome from the shock of her voice shouting in her ear. Kagome apologized and walked towards the now closed room.
"He woke up?" Kagome asked staring blankly at the white surface which was completely unadorned except for the numbers 319 at the very top.
"He did, just now." Although Kagome should be happy, she couldn't feel anything but sadness pulsating throughout her body. She knew that the second she saw him again, she couldn't help but see the man she fell in love with. Even though they were related, how could you stop loving someone that consumes every part of your heart? It was painful but not impossible. If she stopped thinking of him long enough maybe time would heal the emptiness in her heart. She knew that within her body her heart was aching and breaking. But since she knew that he was okay, she could live her life a little happier, knowing he would be alright and that in time he too would forget about her and love again.
"I should go," Kagome muttered, turning her body and walking towards the exit.
"WAIT! Kagome, how can you leave when--"
"Good-bye mother," Kagome said softly. But the words ringed in Damaru's ears like dynamite ready to explode. She gasped and stopped dead in her heels, not expecting Kagome to utter that word—mother. She had sensed the lingering sadness in her child's eyes but thought it was because of Inuyasha, not because she had discovered the truth that she had struggled to keep secret. --
"Kagome, you have to listen to me! You have to calm down!" Damaru screamed, trying to cool the distraught child.
"How can I calm down? Why didn't anyone tell me?! Do you know how awful that woman treated me for the past fifteen years? It was unbearable..." her voice trailed off, despair sinking into her fragile body.
Damaru watched her sad child, wanting to comfort her but knowing that if she tried, she would push her farther from her grasp. She touched her softly on the shoulder which caused Kagome to shake from the warmth, containing an honest love.
"I wanted you to be with me, Kagome. But it was impossible. My husband—my late husband—never knew about the affair. Your father took you and promised me he would take care of you."
"He lied. He wasn't ever there. It felt almost like the empty love my mother gave me."
"I'm sorry Kagome. If I could turn back time I would have done something more. But I was powerless then...I didn't have the strength to stand up to him and tell him I didn't love him. I guess that's what happens when you are forced into marriage—your heart longs for more and when it finds it, you are powerless to act upon it."
"But you did act..."
"Yes, I did. And it made everything worst. Not only was your father an enemy to the Bakemono but I was married to the man your father hated most out of them all. I don't understand it but love finds itself in odd places."
Kagome felt her eyes burn from the tears she was holding back and soon enough she was crying.
"Yes, love isn't fair!"
Damaru held the girl tightly in her arms and told her to cry as much as she needed. One touch of her daughter's body and she knew instantly pain had consumed her. She felt her shake slightly and then release herself from her mother's comfort. She could not face the woman that claimed to be her true mother. She didn't want anything to do with her—she needed to first mend her broken heart.
Kagome stood up in defeat, ignoring her mother's sadness and walked forward.
"Kagome, where are you going?" her mother asked not knowing how to console her aching daughter.
"I don't know...I just need to go."
Damaru watched her daughter helplessly, wishing she could do more for her—wishing she could rewind time and begin her life as it would have been. The truth was, she had felt this feeling of guilt for fifteen years and time had done nothing to heal her sorrow. If anything, it had increased her grief and made her more depressed. She had vowed to Kagome's father that she would leave this town and never return in order for Kagome to start life believing that the affair between the two of them never occurred. But it was too hard for Damaru and it worsened after her first husband died of a heart attack. She was never in love with the man but she had loved him nevertheless.
She had tried to be a good wife to him but it had been hard, especially since she was forced into marriage. Even as a teenager, she and Sora had been lovers, vowing to keep their love a secret or else lose each other forever. They had sacrificed through the years, watching the other get married and then slowly start a family. But it had been harder for Damaru because she could never have children and her marriage was a struggle everyday—a battle to maintain the sanity and some sense of happiness inside the house. It was a difficult task and in some ways, it had worked. However, not for long. Marriage cannot survive on work alone, it needed some love and that was something that was hard for Damaru to give no matter how persistent her husband was. She knew he had loved her but her heart already belonged to another. She refused to give it up. So she fed that heart the best she could through her midnight rendezvous and carefully planned meetings. Of course, they had never intended to bare a baby girl. That had been a mistake that had almost cost their lives. Of course, Sora had protected her, pleading with his wife to accept their girl has her own. Meiwaku had despised her very existence, swearing she would treat her like an animal. Damaru thought that through time Meiwaku would accept Kagome and love as her own. Little did she know her promises were rock solid. Meiwaku had felt ashamed to be married to a man who had an affair with a Bakemono. Curse this rivalry, Damaru swore to herself. It made no sense to hate another person for affairs that happened so far along history that no one knows quite sure what initiated it. And if no one quite remembers, does that just confirm that it was stupid to begin with?
Damaru stood then and walked over to Inuyasha's door and was surprised to see Kagome inside, holding his hand. Of course, he was asleep on the bed now, resting from the sudden awakening just moments before. She sympathized with the pain Kagome was going through but it was far from foreign to her. It seemed like yesterday when she had first realized she had loved Sora.
--
Yakosuko High School (way back in the day)
1974
"Bakemono, you look like someone just ran over your face," Sora Higarashi yelled from clear across the hall. The shy girl with long raven hair stared at him and flipped her hair in disgust. He had always picked on her since she was young. For as long as she could remember, she had wanted to kill the bastard. Not only was he the family nemesis but he was also a big fat jerk. She watched him jet off towards the science building, his gang of goons giving him a circle of high fives. He happily slapped their hand, a smile across his putrid face.
Damaru was sick of his one liners and his harassment. If she was born with a louder voice and as a five hundred pound man, maybe she wouldn't feel so helpless around him. But she couldn't help it, every time she opened her little mouth to tell him to fuck off, nothing but air would come out. It was impossible. If her brother knew about this, he would be on him in a minute, planting power punches on his face like he was a pillow. But she never wanted to cause controversy and besides if her brother knew about this then no sooner would her whole family be on it like peanut butter on jelly. They would, of course, take her and her brother out of the school and the last thing she wanted to do was start a new school when it was already a challenge just fitting in here. Plus, it was the best school in the whole city, which would elevate her chances to getting into a good college. She swore then that she would send her own kids here if she had any.
She strolled down the hall with her book bag in one hand, hoping that science class would fly by and praying that that stupid Sora wouldn't bully her. She had enough of his shit and wished she could do something about it. Nevertheless, she only had two more years of high school. Before she knew it, he would be out of her life in some dumpster somewhere. She smiled at the thought of him dancing for coins in the street. She giggled but her daydream was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.
She turned around to see the very face of death staring at her in the face. He stared at her in pleasure and she backed off, hoping he would leave her alone. Of course, he just continued to follow her until she was backed in a corner. Hamitza Kashino was a strong guy, big built and standing at a whopping six feet seven inches. He had followed her for the past two years, harassing her for dates and asking her to dances. But he was always met with disappointment. She simply wasn't interested in dumbasses like him. She had given him a chance once, hoping he wasn't the loser she had portrayed him as in her mind. But the night was unfulfilling, ending with a slap on his face when she had denied him a kiss on the lips. Besides that, he couldn't hold a conversation, referring back to sports—a subject Damaru wasn't affiliated with. Since then, she had repeatedly told him she just wasn't interested and he wasn't her type. But he wasn't the type to back down easily.
And through time, he had grown aggressive, trying to touch her whenever he saw her passing by him in the hall. And soon the touching progressed to groping. Now, she was just afraid of the bastard. She was sweating bullets now, not knowing how to handle him with that look of perversion in his eye. He had her in a corner and every time she tried to squeeze her little body out, he managed to counter it and she was stuck again in the same place. He hovered over her like a lingering shadow forming around his body caused him to look sinister. Damaru pleaded with him to let her go but his head was too thick to understand.
Damaru knew she had no where to go and no voice to call for help. She was at his mercy. She closed her eyes as his possessed hands roamed from her face to her neck and suddenly to her breasts. She squeaked in torment, a tear sliding from her cheek. She thought then that if she simply pretended she was in a different place maybe she wouldn't feel this pain circulating through her body. But it was impossible. No matter how hard she tried to find that happy place in her mind, his touches brought her back to reality.
She pleaded with him again but he shushed her, telling her it was only a matter of time.
"Hamitza, please don't do this!" she cried out in whispers, tears continuing to stream down her face. He did not listen to her, too focused on his perverted wandering hands. He leaned in then to kiss her neck and she shivered from the touch of his cold lips on her warm skin. She tried to push him back but she was powerless against the star basketball player.
It was then that she felt his face bob down from a surprise blow to his side. He twirled around and began swinging his arms in frustration.
"What's the big deal? I'm trying to have some alone time with my woman!" he screamed.
"Shut your pie-hole, you sick son of a bitch!" swore a recognizable voice. Damaru opened her pressed eyes towards the figure that had tormented her life since she was a child. He looked different then, his face no longer the color of black. It almost appeared heavenly as he fought against the beast. And in the end, David defeated Goliath.
He turned to Damaru then and asked if she was okay. Powerless to speak, she nodded and they both looked at each other with the same mutual look of desire. He never could figure out why he had rescued her or why he had come back from the science building. After that day, they believed that it was simply fate giving them a little push.
--
Kagome could not resist but enter into the door she swore she wouldn't pass through. But she couldn't help it. It was as though it was beckoning her forward, pushing her to open it and sit by his side.
Kagome stared at Inuyasha's hands and held them as tight as she could, believing that maybe they would become one and she would never have to lose him. But she knew once he was well, she would have to leave him and pretend she never knew him. She had never loved anyone as much as she had loved Inuyasha. That was in due part because no one had ever truly loved her as Inuyasha had. She was grateful that he had stepped into her life. But when she finally found love, it was suddenly yanked away from her grasp. Maybe their love was never meant to be. They had overcome so many obstacles to get where they are and when they thought it was the end, more obstacles were lying just minutes away.
When Kouga finally found the strength to release her from his captivity, no sooner did he speak those words, did she find out that Damaru was her real mother. What the fuck was wrong with her life, she screamed in her mind.
Inuyasha stirred then, his mind roaming in circles. He awoke to a blurred image of a figure cowering over him in the dark. His eyes momentarily adjusted and he was relieved to see Kagome staring down at him. Her look was blank, desperately trying to recover from the shock. But soon she had wrapped her arms around him and he felt at peace, unable to speak.
"Inuyasha, I thought I was going to lose you," she whispered in his ear. Her warm breath was soothing.
"I had a dream and you were there."
"Don't go Wizard of Oz on me."
"No, I mean it. Well it looked like you but it wasn't really you. Anyways it told me to go back to you even though I wished all my life I was alone...because I was always alone."
"Silly, you have me..."
"But I use to be alone, before I knew you, before my mom became my mom..."
"I don't understand Inuyasha, what are you talking about?"
"I wanted to go back to that emptiness because I was scared of what I was feeling inside..."
Kagome hugged him and told him to rest. He shook his head.
"You don't understand...I'm not really a Bakemono. I was never a Bakemono."
Kagome shook her head in confusion, "What are you talking about?"
"I use to be all alone, a long time ago, before my mom became my mom...before I was given a family..."
Kagome, unable to put two and two together, placed her fingers on his lips to cease his talking. He looked at her, trying to explain but she thought he was talking nonsense as a result of the drugs.
He looked at her and closed his eyes, giving in to the sleep that was tugging at his eye lids. He had always wanted to tell her that he was never what she thought he was. But he had really forgotten it, believing that his past was merely a dream. But it had really happened. He couldn't escape it. He wasn't a Bakemono.
--
Hey guys...haha...one chapter left! But you know...I might have an extra chapter...I'm thinking about it and too much shit is going to go down next and I don't know if I can contain it in one fat chapter...what wud you rather have?? One fatty chapter or two chubby chapters? Anyhoo please don't be mad at me...I know its kinda sick right...Kagome and Inuyasha might be related??? But if you read REALLY carefully...Damaru says that she could never really have children...
And Inuyasha is starting to remember his past because....haha...I can't tell you why...oh and since this is all coming to a close I'm going to close up on the Sess and Rin thing and their whole deal with the Chikara family...and then the Inuyasha and Kagome tragedy and then there's going to be a whole explanation scene telling you what really happened when Inuyasha's uncle died and why he was killed...and um lets see...oh Miroku and Sango are kinda done...they're together! But if you really want me to I can add them in...of course they'll be in there because they need to be there for Kagome and Inuyasha...oh and expect a smack down with Naru and Kagome...that's always fun! .!!! Then there's a close with the Sora and Damaru thing...and if you didn't remember...Meiwaku is the name of Kagome's mom...Kouga will still make his appearances But Kagura is out...okay just wanted to keep you guys posted!!
I hope this chappie wasn't stressing you guys out...I know it was kinda hard to take in...but it's all part of the fun! Okay so please R&R....I appreciate everyone who did! Especially to the ones who've been doing it since the beginning:. You guys have really helped me out and made me write better and faster! Thanks soooo much! I'm starting a new story after this so hope you guys keep reading my work!
--co Tsukino
Disclaimer: I own Inuyasha...No I don't but I wanted to know how it felt to write it—I felt a million dollars richer
Ch. 19: And It All Falls Down
"Hahaha, this is pathetic. Don't just stand there Sora, scold her! I can't believe you are reminiscing your stupid love affair when your wretch of a daughter is going to, any minute now, run out that door and see that filthy brat!" her mother screamed, her voice blasting like a siren in heat. She had unfortunately reemerged from the kitchen and was gradually making her way towards Kagome and her father, each watching her in anticipation.
Kagome felt a cold sliver go down her spine. She had seen her mother angry many times but at this moment, she could feel her mother's anger was reaching to the point of insane rage. The past that her mother sought to hide was finally being unearthed before her eyes. Her mother's breathing grew uneasy, her eyes shifting from left to right in a ping pong motion, and soon perspiration began to form just below her hair line. It was as though she was undergoing a radioactive transformation—liken to the Hulk. Was it merely the fact that she had remembered her father's affair? Or was there something more to this past that Kagome did not know about? Shit, she didn't know anything but she was beginning to see how twisted the life of her family and everyone connected to them were.
Kagome froze, her mind rewinding the last few months' events. Her mind was desperately scanning for answers to the questions on her lips and yet there were no answers. There were only more questions. Soon, the only thing she concurred from digging deep within her memory was the mere fact that her life was warped and she found that her touch was deadly. Was she the reason for everyone's unhappiness? What was wrong with her? Why did her parents despise her? She was a poison—sucking at the souls of the innocent, reeking havoc in the lives of those she loved or should love.
Kagome lifted her hands and stared at them as though they were dripping with blood. Her eyes shot open—flames of fear encircling her pupils. But she did not cry. She merely stood there, examining her hands while her parents looked at her in dismay—speechless to her abrupt actions.
"Kagome, what are you doing?" her father asked her.
"I'm nobody," Kagome whispered, setting down her hands but still retaining that look of bewilderment in her face.
"What the hell are you babbling about?" her father asked her, his voice raised and his tone uneasy. They stared at her as though she were finally turning insane—an event they knew would come one day.
"I am no one," Kagome repeated, shifting her eyes from one parent to the other, her brain at the brink of meltdown.
Her mother approached her, hoping a slap in the face would snap her out of her psychotic nonsense. But she found that she needn't to move because Kagome, slowly, was approaching her, a cold look on her face.
Kagome had never realized it before but she didn't look anything like her mother. They were strangers internally and externally. She had always thought her hands came from her mother—soft and supple; capable of killing. But they too did not come from her mother's seed. Kagome approached her mother and with her left hand fingered through the air until her hand softly handed on her mother's face, tracing every curve, dip, and bump. Her mother, half petrified and half intrigued stood there and did not move an inch until her daughter finally retrieved her hand from on top of her face.
"Isn't it funny mother that being your daughter, we have no similar features?" Kagome asked. Her mother looked at her, a curtain of aguish covering her face. She bowed her head and her hair streamed over to cover her cowering face. She moaned and Kagome thought she was crying. But as her mother lifted her face, Kagome did not see tears in her eyes. They were bright, awake, and curved from the smile across her face.
"You have that to thank from your father," she said, restraining herself to laugh.
Kagome turned to her father, who was still silent by her mother's side and still holding the picture of the mysterious Damaru. Her father's corruption and power had marked him a man to fear but to Kagome, seeing him now, he was not man but a scared boy who lost the only woman he loved.
"You know Kagome; we all have to make choices in life," her father said, "We all have to make sacrifices. I gave up Damaru because she was a Bakemono and your mother, well; she gave up her own true love because he was a poor farmer."
Kagome lifted her eyes away from her father and turned to her mother who was surprisingly silent. So, Kagome thought, that's why she's so bitter. Her mother did in fact have a heart and it was broken—shredded by the hands of power and money. She had given her heart to a man whose love for her was forbidden but it was a real love unlike the one she was sharing with her father, whose own heart was filled with memories of his own only love. Sadly, throughout time their love for each other was never consummated, instead their own individual loves for the ones close to their hearts grew by each passing year.
"I see," Kagome muttered, "you want me to live a life like you and mother." Her father nodded, putting the picture away in his right pocket.
"I'm glad you understand."
But Kagome wasn't finished. "You want me to live a life where I am forced to give my heart to a man I truly detest, pretending each day when I wake up that I love him when in reality my heart has shriveled away years ago because it was already given away to a man I did love. You want me to feel the same despair and incompleteness you and mother felt and are still feeling. Why? Because you want me to be happy. Does money really make you happy?"
Her parents looked at her, pain written on their face. The words stung too hard and it seeped inside of them poisoning all of the barriers their created.
"Who do I belong to, father!" Kagome demanded. Her father sighed and said, "I think you already know."
And it when then that she collapsed to the floor, flashes of red heels, violet eyes, and finally a whole image of a woman in a red dress sitting in her father's office. She tried to release her mind from the painful images but it was futile as her mind wandered through the past searching for more clues, more answers to the burning riddles in her life. Her mother had treated her so horribly not because she was a bad child but because she wasn't her child and she knew it. She treated her like what she was—half Bakemono.
--
Sesshoumaru's lower lip quivered as he watched his mother's steps quicken towards him and his helpless lover. He looked down at his little angel, the light of his life of hell and was taken aback to see she was not cowering from his mother's deafening screams. Her eyes were focused, swirling with distaste for the woman who stood as an opposition to her happiness.
Rin had never felt this sensation surging through her small frame—it was like fireworks going off in her body, which felt almost orgasmic. She stood then, lifted from strength unknown to her, descending from heaven. Sesshoumaru's eyes wondered from his rising girlfriend to his fear stricken mother, her feet slowly easing backward. But Rin's outburst of strength was no match to his father—a one hundred and fifty pound gun ready to go off at any second. He looked rather weak but he was a tiger. He was the worst kind of power, his physical strength was a negative zero but he was unsuspecting, able to demolish without lifting an eye and you would never see it coming. He walked in at that moment, lifted an eye to his devious eldest son and turned to his unworthy girlfriend, her right hand in a fist and her eye twitching from the anger slowly building up inside her.
He had wanted to laugh then. Did she think she could just stand there and threaten his family? Shit no. He set down his keys—although upon placing it on the table he thought that maybe he could have used it as a lethal weapon. But it was no use now. Approaching the couple random thoughts went through his mind, all of them leading to how much he wanted to take his son's girlfriend and wring her neck until every drop of blood was squeezed out of her body. But violence, he knew, would solve nothing. He was known to be quite a bad-ass as a teen and he used his wit and heartlessness against anyone that got in his way. He liked the power of being a Chikara and he loved using that power to kill off those who he deemed unworthy of his sight. He looked at Rin and grinned. How was he going to kill her off?
"What's happening in here?" he called out, his voice echoed like thunder through the high-ceilinged room.
"Father," Sesshoumaru whispered, turning to his Rin and wishing she would cease from making the situation worst. He knew what his father was capable off—he was ruthless and had an eye for blood.
The sight of his father, roughly rubbing his coarse hands over and over, sparked a memory he thought was a dream. He was young in his recollection, his age was unknown to him but he knew he was old enough to know his father was a murderer. He came home in the dead of the night—the lights from outside blasted open and being that Sesshoumaru's room was at the rear, the light flooded his room and he was awakened instantly. Still adjusting to the piercing artificial sun, he lifted an eye and looked outside to see his father with a gun in his hand and blood covering his black leather gloves. Shocked and fear racing through his mind, Sesshoumaru backed off the window sill and fell to the floor, unable to walk properly. Maybe it was a dream, he kept repeating. But he knew it was not, his dreams were never this graphic. They always had naked girls but never his father with a gun.
But he loved his father too much to admit it was true so he jumped into bed again. However, he was a stupid kid and it intrigued him too much for him to forget it ever happened. So, he slipped out of his room and tiptoed downstairs to where his father lay, frantically washing his gloves in the kitchen sink. He looked up every so often, sensing someone there, but shook his head and continued to wash his blood stained gloves.
Sesshoumaru was clueless to it, but his father was a successful corporate dictator by day and an assassin by night. He was hired that night to kill a Bakemono.
Sesshoumaru was reawakened to the real world by a tug on his shirt. He looked down to see Rin's hand clutching his shirt with her free hand. She was shaking uncontrollably and it was obvious she was dead in fear. Sesshoumaru took her hand off his shirt and held onto it himself, clasping her hand in his. She stopped shaking and looked down at the love of her life. She smiled at him and upon his touch; she felt her courage rekindle and double.
"Sesshoumaru," she mouthed. He stood up by her and looked at his "loving" family. He shifted from one family member to the next: His brother was in the background; his arms crossed watching the heightened tension at a safe distance. Sesshoumaru was never close to his brother. He grew to be too much of a snob, loving his Porsche more than his family. But lately, he sensed something different living his brother's soul—something good. He concluded that to be an influence from Kagome. His mother was a couple feet away, her mouth still open from the shock of Rin's perseverance. She was a frail woman, too weak to hit a power punch but her mouth was the devil, spitting out foul comments like it was tobacco. His mother, like his brother, was too self-absorbed in her elite society of white-bread bitches to care about her attention-seeking sons. He finally looked at his father and was disgusted to stare at the man he called father and mentor for so many years. He had worked hard all his life to be in the good graces of his idolized father. He had, for years, rejected the negative comments he heard about his father and the reputation he had for being a cold-blooded tyrant capable of decapitation. But to his son, up until he said he was going to marry Rin, he was a good father to him, taking him under his ropes. Since he could walk, Sesshoumaru wanted to be just like his father. His father was the mother he never had. But now Sesshoumaru could not help but wish he was dead. If his father could not accept Rin, he could not accept his father. He loved Rin too much to lose her. He felt ashamed to have the blood as his father's running through his veins.
He turned to Rin and whispered in her ear. She jumped at first but his warm breathe and comforting words were soothing. "Rin, no matter what, I am not going to lose you."
Rin turned to him and kissed him slightly on the lips.
"Stop with this. You act like a couple who are about to die. I'm not going to kill you," blared his father, finally parting his hand and stuffing them into his Armani suit.
"Are you sure?" Sesshoumaru asked, still clutching his girlfriend's hand.
His father chuckled and then walked towards the bar, digging underneath the counter and retrieving a bottle of vodka and a shot glass. Still chuckling about his naïve son's comment, he poured a glass and gulped it down, enjoying the burn that went straight down his throat.
"Son, would I ever hurt you?"
"I don't know, Lately, I don't think I know you anymore."
His father poured another glass and drank it straight before chuckling, "Son, what are you talking about? Remember me your old man, the one that raised you and looked after you while your mother was too busy kissing the elite ass?"
His mother growled but did not say a word. She knew that in the end he was more powerful than her.
"Even though mother was never here for us...at least...her heart was never as black as yours..." Sesshoumaru whimpered, cowering from his father's devilish smirk and omnipotent disposition. Sesshoumaru half expected to feel his father's harsh hands slap across his face or his mother's screams blaring through the open air. But he was faced with silence and that was deadlier than his parents' wrath. It meant he didn't know what to expect and thus he didn't know how to protect himself and Rin. He was standing vulnerable, his body as a shield against the snares of hell.
"You amaze me, my son," his father said pacing towards his son in small gradual steps that drove Sesshoumaru to the brink of insanity.
"When I see you, I see a pathetic loser, incapable of standing your ground against the opposition. But I have underestimated the anger inside you. I have awakened that and now I am proud that you are my son."
Sesshoumaru stared at his grinning father and shook his head in disgust. Kouga, disturbed by his father's words, shook from fear. Both sons, perplexed and perturbed, backed away from the man they had called father for so long to make way for the devil.
"You know, if you could channel this anger towards our enemies, we would be an unstoppable foe. We could work together to take down all that--"
"You're disgusting!" rang a voice from the background. Kouga stood, his hands dangling in the air, shaking from the rage traveling through his body. He did not understand the sensations flowing through his body—it was a mixture of anger, hatred, sorrow, and fear. But he knew that it was his father that had created the creature inside him, unable to love and care—until he met Kagome. Maybe, he thought, this is what he was designed to be, what he was born to become—like his father. If he had discovered this just months before, he would have cared less, more into his Porsche than the life of another human being. He had always rejected the love from his parents because he was taught love was for the weak and the blind. However, he knew, love had made him stronger. Imagine living life without a heart, he wondered.
"Father, how can you say those things? Is that all we are good for?" Kouga asked, his voice breaking into pieced like glass shattering.
"It is what you do best—you are a Chikara."
"Father," Sesshoumaru cried out, "I don't care if I was born to kill, I wont become like you—you murderer!" he screamed, unaware of what he was saying, merely acting out on his emotions alone.
His father stared at his restless son until a smirk formed from his thin lips, "So, you have a secret, Sesshoumaru?"
Sesshoumaru looked at Rin then and saw the fear across her face. This was too much for her; she was not strong enough to handle all the secrets and lies in his family. But, he was powerless to protect her—this was him.
"Tell me about it," demanded his father.
"I don't know anything. I just remember the gloves...the blood on the gloves and the gun," he said, his voice growing weary. His mother gasped and turned to the husband she thought she knew in revulsion.
"What is he talking about?" she asked, but he did not answer, too consumed in his perverted thoughts of blood and gore.
"Aw yes, but don't be angry with me, my son, it isn't like the person I killed had any importance to us. He was a disgusting Bakemono and he deserves to die," he said calmly.
"Don't tell me you killed someone!" his mother screamed, her hands wrapped tightly across her mouth to prevent her from screaming bloody murder.
'Get with the program, mother,' Sesshoumaru sighed.
"It isn't right to kill anyone," Kouga said, his voice weak.
"Don't worry, over time your mind will get use to the fact that we all die—some sooner than others. Others by will, others my fate and still others by force."
"I won't do this! I refuse! I'm going to get married to Rin and we will never have to see you again!"
"Suit yourself; it will be a cold day in hell before anyone will hire you! Your life as you know it will be miserable."
"I don't care," he turned to Rin, "as long as I'm with her."
"Stop being so damn sappy! This isn't a fucking fairytale, its real life son, and in real life, you damn well need money to survive! You can go ahead and die together!"
"Father, stop it! If they want to be together, let them be!" Kouga yelled.
"Fine, be on your way! I don't ever want to see you again. And don't even dare come crawling back to me! I would soon kick you in the face and sending you screaming in a den of tigers then help you. Remember that."
"That's it!"
"It's never it."
"I see there will be no end! No matter where I go, you will be there to torment me!"
"I guess so," his father hissed, pleasure in his voice.
"Will you hurt my family?" Rin screamed. Sesshoumaru held her back to keep her from jumping on him.
"Don't be stupid, little girl. I don't do that for free."
"You mean you are hired to kill?" Rin asked in fear.
He merely nodded his head, pleased to see the pain in her face.
"So who hired you to kill that Bakemono?" Kouga asked, knee deep in curiosity.
He stared at his waiting family, their mouths opens and their eyes wide with fear. "Isn't it obvious? His greatest enemy, even greater than ourselves."
--
Kagome raced towards the hospital in her father's Jag, doing a fierce reverse and drove it into park, burning rubber. It was a miracle she didn't die on the way here, her mind was too warped and too baffled to think clearly. She took the keys out of the ignition and just sat there, staring at herself in the rearview mirror, and trying to desperately find a trace of her mother but found nothing. Kagome laughed, seeing the irony in what she was doing. All her life, she kept her mother at a far distance, hoping that the farther she was, the less distinguishable she was as her mother. However, there weren't any traits of her mother's that resided in herself—she was caught in a lie all her life and she never knew it. She spent half her life denying this treacherous woman to be her mother when all along she never was. Kagome shook her head in confusion. Knowing the witch wasn't her mother was a relief because it meant that she could hate her without feeling guilty but it pained her to know that the woman that was her mother was a Bakemono. And not just any Bakemono but the mother of the man she called her first love.
She didn't understand what she had done wrong to deserve this. Then she knew—she had wished all her life that her mother wasn't really her mother and when her wish was granted, it came with a deadly price. She had to give up the man she loved. She thought that Inuyasha and her are related sickened her to the point of nausea.
Kagome closed her eyes and sighed, trying to picture Inuyasha as he was before the coma. He was so beautiful—so true to himself and his character so evident in the way he walked and talked. But there was something internally beautiful in Inuyasha that no one knew about and a part of him he refused to reveal because it would mean divulging a form of weakness. But he had exposed it to Kagome and she fell in love with his softness and his kindness, which he deemed his kryptonite. And as she approached her Inuyasha in her mind, she felt him slip away and as she touched his muscular shoulders, it sparked a circuit of red fluid that ran across his body like pulsating veins. He was screaming then and soon the veins converged to form letters and soon a word: FORBIDDEN. Kagome jumped back as she watched Inuyasha scream for her. But she could not touch him, could not feel his body against hers. He was no longer hers to touch. She opened her eyes then and stared at her self again, disgusted by what she saw.
Kagome opened her car door and glanced at the hospital, taking small baby steps to her doom. Why had she come here when all it would give her was pain and torment? She was teeming with ambiguity but she refused to turn around and give up. This wasn't fair! It was never fair! She had never done anything in her life that would cause her such misery. Maybe it was because she was a Higarashi; maybe that is what she has to pay for being in family of heartless vampires. Kagome stopped then and watched her mother walk out of the CR in tears. Inuyasha, her brain screamed, is he okay? She raced towards his door but was stopped by a doctor who refused to let her peer into the dark room. She struggled and fought but was denied the opportunity to see her.
--
She stepped back and turned to face an empty wall. What was he to her? She turned to a familiar voice calling her. It was her mother.
"Kagome, I am glad you visited. But you didn't have to come too late in the evening," she said with tears still streaming down her pale face.
"What happened?"
Her mother's smile widened by her question and went to hug her. Kagome felt uncomfortable, not knowing how to react. But her body against her felt good—so this is what it feels like to be hugged by your mother.
She reached for her in return and hugged her. She was too overcome with joy from hugging her mother, she had forgotten what she had said until it dawned on her moments after the bear hug.
"Inuyasha!" she screamed. Damaru let go of Kagome from the shock of her voice shouting in her ear. Kagome apologized and walked towards the now closed room.
"He woke up?" Kagome asked staring blankly at the white surface which was completely unadorned except for the numbers 319 at the very top.
"He did, just now." Although Kagome should be happy, she couldn't feel anything but sadness pulsating throughout her body. She knew that the second she saw him again, she couldn't help but see the man she fell in love with. Even though they were related, how could you stop loving someone that consumes every part of your heart? It was painful but not impossible. If she stopped thinking of him long enough maybe time would heal the emptiness in her heart. She knew that within her body her heart was aching and breaking. But since she knew that he was okay, she could live her life a little happier, knowing he would be alright and that in time he too would forget about her and love again.
"I should go," Kagome muttered, turning her body and walking towards the exit.
"WAIT! Kagome, how can you leave when--"
"Good-bye mother," Kagome said softly. But the words ringed in Damaru's ears like dynamite ready to explode. She gasped and stopped dead in her heels, not expecting Kagome to utter that word—mother. She had sensed the lingering sadness in her child's eyes but thought it was because of Inuyasha, not because she had discovered the truth that she had struggled to keep secret. --
"Kagome, you have to listen to me! You have to calm down!" Damaru screamed, trying to cool the distraught child.
"How can I calm down? Why didn't anyone tell me?! Do you know how awful that woman treated me for the past fifteen years? It was unbearable..." her voice trailed off, despair sinking into her fragile body.
Damaru watched her sad child, wanting to comfort her but knowing that if she tried, she would push her farther from her grasp. She touched her softly on the shoulder which caused Kagome to shake from the warmth, containing an honest love.
"I wanted you to be with me, Kagome. But it was impossible. My husband—my late husband—never knew about the affair. Your father took you and promised me he would take care of you."
"He lied. He wasn't ever there. It felt almost like the empty love my mother gave me."
"I'm sorry Kagome. If I could turn back time I would have done something more. But I was powerless then...I didn't have the strength to stand up to him and tell him I didn't love him. I guess that's what happens when you are forced into marriage—your heart longs for more and when it finds it, you are powerless to act upon it."
"But you did act..."
"Yes, I did. And it made everything worst. Not only was your father an enemy to the Bakemono but I was married to the man your father hated most out of them all. I don't understand it but love finds itself in odd places."
Kagome felt her eyes burn from the tears she was holding back and soon enough she was crying.
"Yes, love isn't fair!"
Damaru held the girl tightly in her arms and told her to cry as much as she needed. One touch of her daughter's body and she knew instantly pain had consumed her. She felt her shake slightly and then release herself from her mother's comfort. She could not face the woman that claimed to be her true mother. She didn't want anything to do with her—she needed to first mend her broken heart.
Kagome stood up in defeat, ignoring her mother's sadness and walked forward.
"Kagome, where are you going?" her mother asked not knowing how to console her aching daughter.
"I don't know...I just need to go."
Damaru watched her daughter helplessly, wishing she could do more for her—wishing she could rewind time and begin her life as it would have been. The truth was, she had felt this feeling of guilt for fifteen years and time had done nothing to heal her sorrow. If anything, it had increased her grief and made her more depressed. She had vowed to Kagome's father that she would leave this town and never return in order for Kagome to start life believing that the affair between the two of them never occurred. But it was too hard for Damaru and it worsened after her first husband died of a heart attack. She was never in love with the man but she had loved him nevertheless.
She had tried to be a good wife to him but it had been hard, especially since she was forced into marriage. Even as a teenager, she and Sora had been lovers, vowing to keep their love a secret or else lose each other forever. They had sacrificed through the years, watching the other get married and then slowly start a family. But it had been harder for Damaru because she could never have children and her marriage was a struggle everyday—a battle to maintain the sanity and some sense of happiness inside the house. It was a difficult task and in some ways, it had worked. However, not for long. Marriage cannot survive on work alone, it needed some love and that was something that was hard for Damaru to give no matter how persistent her husband was. She knew he had loved her but her heart already belonged to another. She refused to give it up. So she fed that heart the best she could through her midnight rendezvous and carefully planned meetings. Of course, they had never intended to bare a baby girl. That had been a mistake that had almost cost their lives. Of course, Sora had protected her, pleading with his wife to accept their girl has her own. Meiwaku had despised her very existence, swearing she would treat her like an animal. Damaru thought that through time Meiwaku would accept Kagome and love as her own. Little did she know her promises were rock solid. Meiwaku had felt ashamed to be married to a man who had an affair with a Bakemono. Curse this rivalry, Damaru swore to herself. It made no sense to hate another person for affairs that happened so far along history that no one knows quite sure what initiated it. And if no one quite remembers, does that just confirm that it was stupid to begin with?
Damaru stood then and walked over to Inuyasha's door and was surprised to see Kagome inside, holding his hand. Of course, he was asleep on the bed now, resting from the sudden awakening just moments before. She sympathized with the pain Kagome was going through but it was far from foreign to her. It seemed like yesterday when she had first realized she had loved Sora.
--
Yakosuko High School (way back in the day)
1974
"Bakemono, you look like someone just ran over your face," Sora Higarashi yelled from clear across the hall. The shy girl with long raven hair stared at him and flipped her hair in disgust. He had always picked on her since she was young. For as long as she could remember, she had wanted to kill the bastard. Not only was he the family nemesis but he was also a big fat jerk. She watched him jet off towards the science building, his gang of goons giving him a circle of high fives. He happily slapped their hand, a smile across his putrid face.
Damaru was sick of his one liners and his harassment. If she was born with a louder voice and as a five hundred pound man, maybe she wouldn't feel so helpless around him. But she couldn't help it, every time she opened her little mouth to tell him to fuck off, nothing but air would come out. It was impossible. If her brother knew about this, he would be on him in a minute, planting power punches on his face like he was a pillow. But she never wanted to cause controversy and besides if her brother knew about this then no sooner would her whole family be on it like peanut butter on jelly. They would, of course, take her and her brother out of the school and the last thing she wanted to do was start a new school when it was already a challenge just fitting in here. Plus, it was the best school in the whole city, which would elevate her chances to getting into a good college. She swore then that she would send her own kids here if she had any.
She strolled down the hall with her book bag in one hand, hoping that science class would fly by and praying that that stupid Sora wouldn't bully her. She had enough of his shit and wished she could do something about it. Nevertheless, she only had two more years of high school. Before she knew it, he would be out of her life in some dumpster somewhere. She smiled at the thought of him dancing for coins in the street. She giggled but her daydream was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.
She turned around to see the very face of death staring at her in the face. He stared at her in pleasure and she backed off, hoping he would leave her alone. Of course, he just continued to follow her until she was backed in a corner. Hamitza Kashino was a strong guy, big built and standing at a whopping six feet seven inches. He had followed her for the past two years, harassing her for dates and asking her to dances. But he was always met with disappointment. She simply wasn't interested in dumbasses like him. She had given him a chance once, hoping he wasn't the loser she had portrayed him as in her mind. But the night was unfulfilling, ending with a slap on his face when she had denied him a kiss on the lips. Besides that, he couldn't hold a conversation, referring back to sports—a subject Damaru wasn't affiliated with. Since then, she had repeatedly told him she just wasn't interested and he wasn't her type. But he wasn't the type to back down easily.
And through time, he had grown aggressive, trying to touch her whenever he saw her passing by him in the hall. And soon the touching progressed to groping. Now, she was just afraid of the bastard. She was sweating bullets now, not knowing how to handle him with that look of perversion in his eye. He had her in a corner and every time she tried to squeeze her little body out, he managed to counter it and she was stuck again in the same place. He hovered over her like a lingering shadow forming around his body caused him to look sinister. Damaru pleaded with him to let her go but his head was too thick to understand.
Damaru knew she had no where to go and no voice to call for help. She was at his mercy. She closed her eyes as his possessed hands roamed from her face to her neck and suddenly to her breasts. She squeaked in torment, a tear sliding from her cheek. She thought then that if she simply pretended she was in a different place maybe she wouldn't feel this pain circulating through her body. But it was impossible. No matter how hard she tried to find that happy place in her mind, his touches brought her back to reality.
She pleaded with him again but he shushed her, telling her it was only a matter of time.
"Hamitza, please don't do this!" she cried out in whispers, tears continuing to stream down her face. He did not listen to her, too focused on his perverted wandering hands. He leaned in then to kiss her neck and she shivered from the touch of his cold lips on her warm skin. She tried to push him back but she was powerless against the star basketball player.
It was then that she felt his face bob down from a surprise blow to his side. He twirled around and began swinging his arms in frustration.
"What's the big deal? I'm trying to have some alone time with my woman!" he screamed.
"Shut your pie-hole, you sick son of a bitch!" swore a recognizable voice. Damaru opened her pressed eyes towards the figure that had tormented her life since she was a child. He looked different then, his face no longer the color of black. It almost appeared heavenly as he fought against the beast. And in the end, David defeated Goliath.
He turned to Damaru then and asked if she was okay. Powerless to speak, she nodded and they both looked at each other with the same mutual look of desire. He never could figure out why he had rescued her or why he had come back from the science building. After that day, they believed that it was simply fate giving them a little push.
--
Kagome could not resist but enter into the door she swore she wouldn't pass through. But she couldn't help it. It was as though it was beckoning her forward, pushing her to open it and sit by his side.
Kagome stared at Inuyasha's hands and held them as tight as she could, believing that maybe they would become one and she would never have to lose him. But she knew once he was well, she would have to leave him and pretend she never knew him. She had never loved anyone as much as she had loved Inuyasha. That was in due part because no one had ever truly loved her as Inuyasha had. She was grateful that he had stepped into her life. But when she finally found love, it was suddenly yanked away from her grasp. Maybe their love was never meant to be. They had overcome so many obstacles to get where they are and when they thought it was the end, more obstacles were lying just minutes away.
When Kouga finally found the strength to release her from his captivity, no sooner did he speak those words, did she find out that Damaru was her real mother. What the fuck was wrong with her life, she screamed in her mind.
Inuyasha stirred then, his mind roaming in circles. He awoke to a blurred image of a figure cowering over him in the dark. His eyes momentarily adjusted and he was relieved to see Kagome staring down at him. Her look was blank, desperately trying to recover from the shock. But soon she had wrapped her arms around him and he felt at peace, unable to speak.
"Inuyasha, I thought I was going to lose you," she whispered in his ear. Her warm breath was soothing.
"I had a dream and you were there."
"Don't go Wizard of Oz on me."
"No, I mean it. Well it looked like you but it wasn't really you. Anyways it told me to go back to you even though I wished all my life I was alone...because I was always alone."
"Silly, you have me..."
"But I use to be alone, before I knew you, before my mom became my mom..."
"I don't understand Inuyasha, what are you talking about?"
"I wanted to go back to that emptiness because I was scared of what I was feeling inside..."
Kagome hugged him and told him to rest. He shook his head.
"You don't understand...I'm not really a Bakemono. I was never a Bakemono."
Kagome shook her head in confusion, "What are you talking about?"
"I use to be all alone, a long time ago, before my mom became my mom...before I was given a family..."
Kagome, unable to put two and two together, placed her fingers on his lips to cease his talking. He looked at her, trying to explain but she thought he was talking nonsense as a result of the drugs.
He looked at her and closed his eyes, giving in to the sleep that was tugging at his eye lids. He had always wanted to tell her that he was never what she thought he was. But he had really forgotten it, believing that his past was merely a dream. But it had really happened. He couldn't escape it. He wasn't a Bakemono.
--
Hey guys...haha...one chapter left! But you know...I might have an extra chapter...I'm thinking about it and too much shit is going to go down next and I don't know if I can contain it in one fat chapter...what wud you rather have?? One fatty chapter or two chubby chapters? Anyhoo please don't be mad at me...I know its kinda sick right...Kagome and Inuyasha might be related??? But if you read REALLY carefully...Damaru says that she could never really have children...
And Inuyasha is starting to remember his past because....haha...I can't tell you why...oh and since this is all coming to a close I'm going to close up on the Sess and Rin thing and their whole deal with the Chikara family...and then the Inuyasha and Kagome tragedy and then there's going to be a whole explanation scene telling you what really happened when Inuyasha's uncle died and why he was killed...and um lets see...oh Miroku and Sango are kinda done...they're together! But if you really want me to I can add them in...of course they'll be in there because they need to be there for Kagome and Inuyasha...oh and expect a smack down with Naru and Kagome...that's always fun! .!!! Then there's a close with the Sora and Damaru thing...and if you didn't remember...Meiwaku is the name of Kagome's mom...Kouga will still make his appearances But Kagura is out...okay just wanted to keep you guys posted!!
I hope this chappie wasn't stressing you guys out...I know it was kinda hard to take in...but it's all part of the fun! Okay so please R&R....I appreciate everyone who did! Especially to the ones who've been doing it since the beginning:. You guys have really helped me out and made me write better and faster! Thanks soooo much! I'm starting a new story after this so hope you guys keep reading my work!
--co Tsukino