A/N: OK I really have nothing personal to say today... business as usual
from Friday because school re-starts tomorrow... hooray. Thanks to
Invisible Voice (it was SO not similar!), Child-of-Scorpio (I agree with
you - patience!), EgyptsStar, KrisKG, chocoliciouz, Red-Emerald and
RedRaspberry (ok, here is your chapter!). And to everyone who wants Eihwaz
to die in some fashion... I have it all under control!
Chapter 28
"Good morning," he said, affecting weariness. "I don't suppose you'd mind telling me how long I've been here?"
"Since half past two," I replied, glad of something to say, and falling straight into his trap.
"Lumos," he muttered, shining a beam at the clock. "Crikey, we've been here two and a half hours. I, er - was I disturbing you?"
"N-no," I said. "I was doing, uh, homework - that is to say, revision - practice... and I got up to - to see the clock - and I, uh... saw you..." Dammit, Lily! Why was I so awkward?
"You could have woken me," he said, but it wasn't a reprimand. "I must have fallen asleep waiting for Sirius. Trust him not to wake me. Probably wanted me to look a complete prat in the morning."
I said nothing.
"Still, I'm awake now. Did you finish your revision, or practice, or whatever it was you were doing?"
"Yes, thanks," I said stiffly. That was better. Regain my cool.
He looked at me closely, then shook his head. "I'm going to try and get an hour's kip upstairs, anyway."
"OK."
"Well... goodnight, then," he said, looking bewildered now.
"Night."
I too went up to my dorm, and sat on my bed for the next hour wrestling with myself. What was going on? Had Potter just tried to have a normal conversation with me? Surely not. He'd only spoken to me on a few occasions before, first to insult me and then a couple of times to ask me out, clearly in an attempt to make me a laughing stock. So why when we were alone... And what had happened to me? Why hadn't I gone back upstairs when I'd seen him there? And what was all that, thinking he looked sweet? Potter was anything but sweet. He was vile. Anybody could look sweet asleep. In fact, he should be ashamed that he was nicer asleep than awake.
At breakfast that morning, he smiled at me, and I blanked him. I knew he had tricked me into admitting that I had been watching him, but I wasn't in the mood to argue with him.
"Were you out with Robert last night?"
I stifled a yawn as I turned to Juliet. "What? Oh, no. No, I couldn't sleep, so I went down to the common room to do homework."
"God, honestly, Lily. Homework when you could be sleeping? How much did you do? A whole essay?"
"Oh, never mind," I said, more harshly than I had intended.
Rebecca blinked.
"Sorry, sorry," I groaned quickly. "I'm just preoccupied, that's all."
"With Petunia, I'm guessing?"
"Oh - oh no, I'd forgotten about that..." I buried my head in my hands. To my immense relief, they asked nothing further.
For a time, I managed to push him out of my mind. Certainly it wasn't hard to still see his faults, and I soon hated him nearly as much as ever. I watched with narrowed eyes as he chatted up one girl after another, before finally choosing his next prey. He still showed off, and I still caught him making fun of Snape. Sure, I had more sympathy with his hatred now, but his cruel streak was... well, it was more than a streak, it seemed.
But as May progressed, I found myself watching the Quidditch pitch out of the common room window when it was Gryffindor practice - watching him. This was utterly ludicrous! I told myself. Since when did admiring someone when they were asleep mean that you should fall for them? Especially when you had always hated them, and every reason you had ever had for that loathing was still present? I recoiled when I saw a motto on the front of a book in the library for emotion spells. 'There is nothing so easy to turn to deepest love as purest loathing.' That was not happening to me! I was merely attracted to him in an entirely superficial way because he had seemed cute asleep. It would pass.
Robert knew that I was losing interest in him, though. No doubt he noticed as my attention wandered as we talked, as I withdrew when we kissed and when I was vague as to when we should meet up. He addressed the issue in a typically gentle fashion.
"Lily, we always used to discuss boy and girl problems."
I smiled. "Yeah..."
"And I think we should continue."
I glanced at him. "What? 'Hey Robert, there's this guy I fancy... what should I do?'"
"Something like that, I imagine."
I did a double take. "What?"
"Well, there's clearly something wrong. Someone else, I surmised, though who I don't know."
My stomach clenched. "No, there's not!"
He eyed me. "Look, Lils, you can tell me. I know I'm supposed to be your boyfriend, but we're friends too and you may as well come clean. I'll stay around."
I sighed and stared at my feet. "I didn't want to like someone else," I said helplessly.
"I understand," he said. "It happens. We were never going to stay together forever."
"Yes, but... do you mind if I don't tell you who it is?"
"No. I don't think I want to know, in fact. I might be embarrassed."
"Yes," I said heavily. "So I guess this is it for us?"
He looked surprised. "Only if that's what you want."
"What?"
"Well, I'm happy to stay around. I'll back off if it goes well with this other person, but until then there's not much point."
I was incredulous. "You're one of a kind, Robert."
"Yeah, well..."
"You want to be careful," I said. "You'll be Doormat Diggory if you carry on like that."
He smiled sadly. "I'm used to it. My brother's Amos, remember."
"But my sister's Petunia! OK, you don't know her, but she's awful! You have to stand up to people like that."
He shrugged. "I've never really thought it worth the bother. It's all right, Lily, all I'm saying is do what you think best for you."
I nodded slowly. "I'll tell you this much - it would be far better for me to keep well away from... him. I just... he's haunting me."
A twinkle came into his eye. "Please, Lils, just tell me one thing. It's not Peeves, is it?"
I had to laugh.
Chapter 28
"Good morning," he said, affecting weariness. "I don't suppose you'd mind telling me how long I've been here?"
"Since half past two," I replied, glad of something to say, and falling straight into his trap.
"Lumos," he muttered, shining a beam at the clock. "Crikey, we've been here two and a half hours. I, er - was I disturbing you?"
"N-no," I said. "I was doing, uh, homework - that is to say, revision - practice... and I got up to - to see the clock - and I, uh... saw you..." Dammit, Lily! Why was I so awkward?
"You could have woken me," he said, but it wasn't a reprimand. "I must have fallen asleep waiting for Sirius. Trust him not to wake me. Probably wanted me to look a complete prat in the morning."
I said nothing.
"Still, I'm awake now. Did you finish your revision, or practice, or whatever it was you were doing?"
"Yes, thanks," I said stiffly. That was better. Regain my cool.
He looked at me closely, then shook his head. "I'm going to try and get an hour's kip upstairs, anyway."
"OK."
"Well... goodnight, then," he said, looking bewildered now.
"Night."
I too went up to my dorm, and sat on my bed for the next hour wrestling with myself. What was going on? Had Potter just tried to have a normal conversation with me? Surely not. He'd only spoken to me on a few occasions before, first to insult me and then a couple of times to ask me out, clearly in an attempt to make me a laughing stock. So why when we were alone... And what had happened to me? Why hadn't I gone back upstairs when I'd seen him there? And what was all that, thinking he looked sweet? Potter was anything but sweet. He was vile. Anybody could look sweet asleep. In fact, he should be ashamed that he was nicer asleep than awake.
At breakfast that morning, he smiled at me, and I blanked him. I knew he had tricked me into admitting that I had been watching him, but I wasn't in the mood to argue with him.
"Were you out with Robert last night?"
I stifled a yawn as I turned to Juliet. "What? Oh, no. No, I couldn't sleep, so I went down to the common room to do homework."
"God, honestly, Lily. Homework when you could be sleeping? How much did you do? A whole essay?"
"Oh, never mind," I said, more harshly than I had intended.
Rebecca blinked.
"Sorry, sorry," I groaned quickly. "I'm just preoccupied, that's all."
"With Petunia, I'm guessing?"
"Oh - oh no, I'd forgotten about that..." I buried my head in my hands. To my immense relief, they asked nothing further.
For a time, I managed to push him out of my mind. Certainly it wasn't hard to still see his faults, and I soon hated him nearly as much as ever. I watched with narrowed eyes as he chatted up one girl after another, before finally choosing his next prey. He still showed off, and I still caught him making fun of Snape. Sure, I had more sympathy with his hatred now, but his cruel streak was... well, it was more than a streak, it seemed.
But as May progressed, I found myself watching the Quidditch pitch out of the common room window when it was Gryffindor practice - watching him. This was utterly ludicrous! I told myself. Since when did admiring someone when they were asleep mean that you should fall for them? Especially when you had always hated them, and every reason you had ever had for that loathing was still present? I recoiled when I saw a motto on the front of a book in the library for emotion spells. 'There is nothing so easy to turn to deepest love as purest loathing.' That was not happening to me! I was merely attracted to him in an entirely superficial way because he had seemed cute asleep. It would pass.
Robert knew that I was losing interest in him, though. No doubt he noticed as my attention wandered as we talked, as I withdrew when we kissed and when I was vague as to when we should meet up. He addressed the issue in a typically gentle fashion.
"Lily, we always used to discuss boy and girl problems."
I smiled. "Yeah..."
"And I think we should continue."
I glanced at him. "What? 'Hey Robert, there's this guy I fancy... what should I do?'"
"Something like that, I imagine."
I did a double take. "What?"
"Well, there's clearly something wrong. Someone else, I surmised, though who I don't know."
My stomach clenched. "No, there's not!"
He eyed me. "Look, Lils, you can tell me. I know I'm supposed to be your boyfriend, but we're friends too and you may as well come clean. I'll stay around."
I sighed and stared at my feet. "I didn't want to like someone else," I said helplessly.
"I understand," he said. "It happens. We were never going to stay together forever."
"Yes, but... do you mind if I don't tell you who it is?"
"No. I don't think I want to know, in fact. I might be embarrassed."
"Yes," I said heavily. "So I guess this is it for us?"
He looked surprised. "Only if that's what you want."
"What?"
"Well, I'm happy to stay around. I'll back off if it goes well with this other person, but until then there's not much point."
I was incredulous. "You're one of a kind, Robert."
"Yeah, well..."
"You want to be careful," I said. "You'll be Doormat Diggory if you carry on like that."
He smiled sadly. "I'm used to it. My brother's Amos, remember."
"But my sister's Petunia! OK, you don't know her, but she's awful! You have to stand up to people like that."
He shrugged. "I've never really thought it worth the bother. It's all right, Lily, all I'm saying is do what you think best for you."
I nodded slowly. "I'll tell you this much - it would be far better for me to keep well away from... him. I just... he's haunting me."
A twinkle came into his eye. "Please, Lils, just tell me one thing. It's not Peeves, is it?"
I had to laugh.