AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is just a joke. It is not based on the Harry Potter stories at all except the characters. We were just bored one day. Contains lots of fowl language, sexual content and ghetto behavior.

It was the summer after Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts and he was bored. More bored than he had ever been, as Uncle Vernon had recently discovered Harry's secret stash of naughty magazines hidden under the loose floorboard underneath his bed. So he sat in the corner of his room doing absolutly nothing until Aunt Petunia came into the room and yelled at him like some crazy ass bitch about something stupid like marshmallows, so he up and left that joint! "Dawg", he said as he walked down the road. "She always be up in my beeswax". He sat down on a swing wishing he had some nice young girls to cheer him up. Suddenly, off in the distance, he heard "Brass Monkey" playing very loudly. He all jumped right off that swing! He followed the music through the neighborhood until he found the source. "Aw Snap!" he exclaimed. "It's da Hogwartz Party Houze!"

He opened the door to the famed Hogwartz Party Houze to find at least 200 sluttily dressed Hogwarts chicks, and lotsa half naked Hogwarts boyz. Everyone was blind drunk. Harry drank about a keg of Odgen's Old Firewhiskey and set off to find Ron and Hermione. UH OH, it was Cho! That bitch! He up and bitch slapped her. "I'll kill you biotch!" Cho didn't even notice him because she was so drunk. This made Harry feel sad.

He kept dancing his little white-boi arse off, until at last he ran into Ron and Hermione. Ron (who wasn't drunk) was on the flo' all lookin' up Hermione's minikirt while she was grindin' on some dude. Harry joined Ron on the floor, but unfourtunatly Hermione spotted them. Ron felt embarrassed, Harry didn't care. Then, Hermione started grindin' on Ron. Ron looked down her tight-ass shirt. She caught him again. He apologized.Then she pushed him into a corner and started making out with him. Hermione wanted a weasel in her pants. Soon they was both on the floor.

Meanwhile, Harry saw Cho, Angelina Johnson, Katie Bell, Luna Lovegood, Lee Jordan, and the Weasley twins all go into a closet. Harry was sure there was going to be maximum booty action. Then Ginny was all like "ugh". Then, she started gettin' busy wit Harry. She wanted snake in her pants. Then Parvati and Lavender started grindin' on Ron. Hermione was not 'bousta take that shit. "get yo' little slutty asses off my man!" She up and sucka- punched the both of them. Then all hell broke loose. Hermione, Lavender, and Parvati all started a cat fight. Suddenly, the fight moved to a giant martini glass filled with butterbeer. Ron was like "AW SNAPS! This gon' be TIGHT!" The fight went on for quite some time before Hermione said "You wanna piece of me?" and Ron answered 'Yes" and swept her off her feet into yet another closet. Then, Lavender and Parvati dripping with butterbeer starting grindin' on Seamus. Seamus was very happy about this and took off his crazy ass pants. Nobody really cared. (Except Seamus.)

Meanwhile, Malfoy was pimpin' those ugly ass Slytherin chicks wit' his feather hat and dalmation cat. He had a cane. His hoes was all up on his pretty ass face.

Dawg dat waz one crazy ass party. People everywhere were chilling. Then, suddenly, everyone fell into a deep sleep. The next morning everyone woke up VERY confused. Some people were on top of others and some people were half naked. Everyone had a headache. The only one who remembered what had happened the night before was Ron.