The Rain Upon My Windows

by Astaldotholwen

[ One Shot ] Kairi sits in her home thinking on a very rainy day. She has become an outcast in her small Island society and no longer shares relationships with her fellow Islanders. However, on this rainy day she is visited by someone special.

Title: The Rain Upon My Windows

Written By: Astaldothôlwen

Point Of View: Kairi

Disclaimer: Although I wish I owned Kingdom Hearts, you know as well as I do that, well, quite frankly I don't. This is unfortunate because every time I play the game, I always get the feeling that Riku needs a nice consoling hug.

How can I even begin to tell you my story?

My adventure within the realm of Kingdom Hearts was a cruel and malicious experience that I would never wish upon anyone. Even if you killed my best friend, I would never wish such a fate on you.

You must think I'm mad; that I've lost my mind. Well, that is where you're wrong. The two people who meant more to me than the very essence of life itself have left me. Their names? Sora and Riku. I loved every waking moment that I had ever been so lucky to spend with them as well as every cherished memory.

It didn't matter what sort of foul mood I was in or anyone rather – Sora could always make you laugh with something rather unintelligent he did; like this one time, he showed everyone how he could do a handstand and managed to walk around Riku's Island. Well, about thirty seconds later, he ended up in the ocean and the rest of us? Well, we just rolled on the ground trying to regain the air that escaped our lungs from laughing much too hard.

Now Riku is another story. Although he was very cold looking and seemed to be void of any emotion; anyone he knew him knew that he was the one person you could always talk to. It's true, no matter what the problem; Riku would do anything for anyone. At heart, Riku was a real softy; even if he didn't like showing it to many people.

And that is why I would never wish the fate of Kingdom Hearts upon anyone. Sora was trapped behind its confines; Riku lost his heart to the Darkness trying to protect me. Sora, well he stayed for everyone; Sora was always putting everyone before himself; and this nobility has probably gotten him slaughtered.

I hate every waking day I'm faced with. Every minute of every day I awaken to the thought of my two friends alone in a completely different dimension suffering horrible and dreadful lives. I constantly imagine Sora chained to walls, his arms raised over his head, his head bowed and face a paste-white. His torn body is mangled; dried blood covers his ripped clothing.

The image of Riku is far more graphic; I picture him lying in his own pool of blood. His corpse is shroud in the Darkness, there is no one there to aid him, and he is a lifeless corpse.

Every day these images haunt my soul; which is why I would never in all of the eternities wish for a fate such as this upon anyone.

Every day I would sit there, in the middle of Riku's Island staring off into the entrance of the Secret Place. Every moment my eyes remain in the same spot, glued in the very same place. I have had many people ask me why I sit in the middle of the island alone, staring off into Space. To me, the answer is blatantly obvious.

When Sora and Riku finally come home to me, I will be the first person to witness their arrival. I will be the one to first greet them; I will be the first one to embrace themselves within their strong arms, never letting go of this new found security.

However, every time I feel this happy; as though these thoughts will not betray me, that some day they will return to me; I think of the mental images of their mangled bodies alone and lifeless.

I am torn in a lifeless war between myself. My optimism and pure hatred for this situation torment my body and spirit, and I truly believe that I am slowing dying; my slowing decaying soul is leading me to my end.

Today, I will not travel towards Riku's Island. For the past two years my friends have not arrived. My attempts are futile, there is no point. Every day I sit there, my eyes fixed in the same position, and every day I have been let down.

Today the sun no longer shines on my home. The sky is overcast and the clouds are grey. The air is thick and humid; no children are playing or laughing today. As I gaze out my window, I can see the waves of the Island are choppy and the ocean is not ideal for swimming today.

I can only imagine the countless parents worrying over their children. Mothers saying 'You best not go out today kiddo, it's dangerous in the water' or, 'There is a storm coming, you wouldn't want to be caught in a storm would you?'

Since I've arrived on Destiny Islands, I've never had a mother warn me about the dangers of the elements. Hell, in my old home, I don't know if I had a mother warn me about the weather.

No one has ever given a damn about me; and no one ever will.

And that is why I have chosen to sit inside my home today; not wanting to even bother with the outside world. The world is cruel and only cares for itself. Its inhabitants don't care about anyone other than themselves. The world is full of grief, hatred and death. Without the world, life would be so much sweeter.

However, we all live within this world and there is nothing we can do about it.

'There is nothing I can do in life, only sit here and watch others live their lives.' My thoughts are bitter, however, these days I have nothing to do but think to myself.

It must be wonderful living your life in pure bliss, unaware of the depths of despair that a person can live through. I see the way you look at me, with snickering eyes, laugher hiding behind your pupils.

I hear the snide remarks that I am not meant to listen to. You're all heartless; you deserve to be comprised of shadow. None of you deserve the happy lives you live. None of you have lived through Hell, and managed to live. But as I said before, I would never wish a fate that I live towards anyone.

I can hear the gentle pitter-patter of rain echoing throughout my home. The heavens have decided to open up. Sitting down in my favourite over-stuffed chair, I close my eyes allowing the soft sound of the spring rain lull me into bliss and happiness. It is the few moments like this that make life worth living and every breath of agony disperse.

However, as always these moments are short lived; the gentle sound of the rain has left and has been replaced by a full-frontal storm. Heavy sheets of water blanket my windows and the wind howls through my empty home.

Sighing to myself, I face the window on my left hand side. Although I cannot see out the glass, I am lost in a sea of mindless thoughts. My home is dark, and from the outside must look uninhabited.

There are no lights on; I am alone in the darkness. The dark skies and water keep any outdoor light out; however I can't imagine there is very much on a day like today. In the distance thunder crackles and lightning sparks, however these natural phenomenons do not bother me; I barely notice them or their noises.

Is this what my life has been reduced to? I sit alone in my home in the dark complaining over things lost that will never be found or retrieved?

My sadness is like the rain upon my windows, drenching my soul, watering it down and allowing it to wallow within its own pity.

Who am I to blame but myself? It is my own fault for not being able to let go of their memories. I am the reason I live in silent torment each and every day; and I do nothing to stop it.

I have sacrificed everything for these two people. My personal relationships have gone all to Hell: Tidus, Wakka and Selphie don't even look at me anymore. They always told me I should let their memories go; that they would never return.

It always baffled me that they could so easily forget Sora and Riku; their friends are gone and they could care less.

'Disrespectful bastards.' I think silently to myself.

Where these thoughts come from, I'll never know. But it is these thoughts that have affected my outward appearance. I no longer dress to impress anyone. I dress in baggy clothing, nothing complimenting or in the least bit revealing. There is no point. The concept of looking your personal best is pointless; a meaningless battle which is not worth fighting.

The rain continues to patter upon my windows and tin roof creating a soothing atmosphere. A melody of raindrops serenades me; the sound of the rain soothes my aching soul.

I sat there in my chair for many hours, just listening to the sound of the rain beating down on my home. However, as all things manage to do, this good thing came to an end. The sounds were of people shouting; the Islanders yelling and carrying on over something. I couldn't figure out why as the rain had not stopped or lessoned any.

But, their concerns are not of mine. As I closed my eyes, I was interrupted again; I could hear the neighbouring houses doors being knocked on. Groaning to myself as the knocking came closer, I knew my door would be soon to follow.

Closing my eyes looking for some sort of salvation; I had become rather surprised. No knock had come to my door; it seemed as though whoever it was had just walked right on by. Sighing a breath of relief, it seems as though I will be able to endure my silent solitude.

My eyelids became heavy, and the gentle sounds of the rain began to sooth my soul, lulling me into a gentle sleep.

I didn't dream, however the nap was wonderful.

I woke up to a loud pounding, I couldn't figure out what it was. As I opened my eyes and noticed my surroundings it was then I understood was happening, someone was knocking on my door.

Groaning in annoyance, I got myself out of chair and stalked my way to my front door. There was a variety of curses which flew themselves out of my mouth; to say I was mad was an understatement. In the last two years I have never slept so soundly; no nightmares haunted my mind, I only slept in a land with no hurt or pain; and it was wonderful.

I tried combing my hair with my fingers; however the year's worth of knots in it prevented such an action. I shouldn't have been shocked; I had allowed it to become a rather unruly monstrosity and had not brushed it like a civilized person.

Why I cared what I looked like suddenly, I didn't know. Reaching for the doorknob, there was a large pit in my stomach.

'Why do I feel so anxious, it isn't like an axe murderer is out to get me.' I chided myself.

There would be no reason an axe murderer would need to kill me. Someone would have to care a great deal about me as a person in order to want me dead.

I turned the doorknob, opening the door wide. There was a young man, roughly the same age as I. His clothes were soaked from the rain, and had a large hood over him. I couldn't make out his face, and he was beginning to annoy me greatly.

"Look, I really don't have the time for this, if you would please tell me why you are here." My words were bitter and filled with venom.

He lifted his face, no longer standing in front of me with a downward gaze.

I would know that pair of eyes no matter where I was – no matter how old I was.

"Sora?"

Authors Notes:

I wrote this story to quite frankly get my mind off of Lyphe's story 'Caught in the Past.' Not don't get me wrong, it was brilliant, but made me really depressed because all I could think about was my friend who died last year Kristy. Anyhow, enjoy I guess.

Oh, I also recommend you read 'Caught in the Past' I honestly think it was Lyphe's best work yet.

Thank you again for Brody for reading over my crap.