A/N: I gather there might have been a problem with the last chapter... if there was and you would like me to send you the chapter, just email me at longleggedcowhotmail.com and i'll get back to you asap, ok? Well Eihwaz is still away and so this is my own work entirely again. Sorry! But I couldn't leave it til the 18th after all. But next week I'm away instead so you can have your slice of Eihwaz again... Thanks to kate (usually every Friday!), Invisible Voice, Lover Her Madly, PriBAngel, champtennis (ah... well... you have a point. they are would-be aunts and uncles!), Oliverwoodschic, JamesIsMine04 (yep), Red-Emerald, Kat (me, Lourdaise. Eihwaz is the beta), he who cant write, RedRaspberry, and smurfinator. Also this chapter is dedicated to EgyptsStar cos she helped out!!! Cheers. OK, I didnt make you wait, so read and review!
Chapter 36
When I came round in the hospital wing, James was sitting at my side, and so was Sirius Black. He looked horrified. The memories came flooding back.
"My parents," I whispered.
James leaned forward. "Sorry?"
I shook my head. "Don't worry - what are you doing here?"
"Sirius and I got permission to sit with you, due to the circumstances."
James I could understand, but Sirius? "Why are you here?" I asked him weakly.
"Be-because of who killed your parents," he muttered.
"Who?"
"My cousin," he mumbled.
"What?" I tried to sit up, but James held me down.
"My cousin killed your parents."
I was stunned. All I could do was stare.
"It said so in that letter. I wanted to explain that I'm not - not like him. Or any of them. I don't even live with my family."
This was too much to comprehend. My parents were dead, at the hands of Sirius's relative, and he was... what? Disowning his family? "I don't understand."
"I ran away from home two years ago. I just wanted you to know that - that I didn't think like them. That I wasn't - proud - that your parents were dead." He stood up. "I'll leave you."
When his footsteps had retreated down the ward, James gave me a concerned look.
"Are you all right? Well. I mean, obviously you're not all right, but..."
"How did it happen?" I interrupted. "How did my parents, muggles, get struck by a wizard? And why? Is it because of me?"
He shook his head. "No. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Voldemort was just demonstrating more power by muggle torturing. He didn't know that they had a witch daughter."
I shuddered. "Tortured," I repeated.
He said nothing. Of course he couldn't deny it. Muggles were a game, to Voldemort.
"What about Petunia?"
"She's fine," he replied. "She was out."
"With Vernon Dursley," I said. "Thank God. And the house? I suppose that's gone."
"No. Your parents weren't at home. They were at a muggle train station."
"Oh." I felt weak again.
"Have some chocolate," he said, taking a bar out of his robe pocket. "Madam Pomfrey was trying to force feed it to you earlier, but gave up."
I smiled half-heartedly. "You can go, if you want. I'll only depress you."
"No," he said firmly. "I'm staying with you. If you're here on your own you'll only dwell on everything. It's my duty as Head Boy to look after you."
I stayed in the hospital wing for two days before deciding that I needed to go home. Professor Dumbledore came to visit.
"I hear you want to go home to sort things out."
"Just for a few days. It'll be the funeral."
He nodded. "Yes. That's absolutely fine. You may go as soon as you wish."
"Thank you."
"On one condition."
"Yes?"
"You take James."
"Why? I mean..."
"I quite understand that you probably want to be alone, but equally Voldemort is not defeated after last week, and I think you may need protection. Besides, travelling can be difficult."
"I can Apparate."
"Not in this state of mind you can't. James can fly you home, and stay with you. Never underestimate the power of moral support."
"He might not want to come."
"I've checked."
"Oh. Well, all right, then. I suppose..."
"Good," said Professor Dumbledore. "And Madam Pomfrey insists you take plenty of chocolate."
I had to laugh.
Petunia seemed composed, although pale, when I arrived. James had agreed to stay outside. "Thank God you were at Vernon's," I said shakily when we met. For the first time since I had started Hogwarts, we were not fighting, although conversation was stilted.
She nodded. "And you at... school."
"Yes."
"The funeral will be on Wednesday."
"I'll stay for it."
"Yes," she repeated.
There was a long pause.
"So. What's going to happen about your wedding?" I asked. It was a strange thing to say, but I couldn't think of anything better.
"We'll have it in spring anyway. I don't want to stay in this house for longer than necessary. I understand you'll need it, though."
I shook my head. "No. We should sell it and split the money. Then we'll each be able to live somewhere new. There are too many memories."
She nodded. "All right."
"So..." I said again.
Suddenly she looked up. "Did he kill them because of you?"
I began to cry. "I don't know. Everyone says they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but it's just too much of a coincidence."
She watched me without doing anything. "So. Will you renounce that world now? I always knew it was a bad idea to go there. You could marry a normal man, and forget it. Then this... Voldemort... might leave us alone."
I stared at her, misty through my tears. "What?"
"Forget about - magic. Hasn't this proved that it's dangerous? It's killed our parents," she said harshly. "But you could forget it, not go back there..."
"Petunia, you can't be serious! It's - it's my home, my kind. I'm not a muggle any more, I can't just forget it!"
Her eyes narrowed. "I see no reason why not. You've only been a... witch... for less than half your life."
"But my friends are magic, I've learnt magic! I'm not prepared to live a muggle life, I haven't been taught maths since I was eleven! I've learnt Charms to do calculations for me, I've learnt Potions instead of science, I do flying, not netball!"
"That can be corrected."
"No it can't! And I don't want to be... corrected. I am a witch, and all this has told me is that I need to help fight! Even if all I do is support those fighting. You can't just desert in a war!"
Petunia stamped her foot childishly. "I don't see why I should be dragged into this just by your stubbornness!"
"Why are you being dragged into this?"
"Because you won't give it up! He attacked our parents, and you admitted yourself that it was too much of a coincidence! I resent having my own life put at risk!"
I spun on my heel and made for the kitchen door. "You're being ridiculous, Petunia."
"No - you are! You've allowed our parents to die, you don't care about my life either. I suppose I'm not so important as you, with your magic tricks and your little boyfriends who impress you by tying me up! How many of us do you want dead before you realise that all your world causes is trouble?!"
I raised my wand. "Silencio!" She fell quiet. "I'll be back for the funeral. See you then." I stormed out of the kitchen, knowing the hex would wear off but not wanting to be around when it did.
James caught my arm as I ran down the drive. "Lily!"
"Oh - sorry."
"What's wrong?"
"Not here," I said, "she'll come out. Can we go... somewhere?"
He nodded, and we headed for a secluded teashop in the High Street, which was littered with a few old biddies draining their cups of coffee, and a bored looking teenager at the desk who brightened visibly when she saw James.
"Do you come in here often?" she purred, leaning over the counter. "I've only just started work..."
He flicked a glance at me before replying. "No, I'm visiting," he said brusquely. "Two Cokes, please, and some chocolate cake."
She turned frosty as she prepared the order, and snatched the money from his hand. "And what is this?" she asked, holding up a bronze Knut.
"Foreign currency," James lied easily. "Arabic, you know. Here." He replaced it with a fifty pence piece.
I smiled as we sat down. "Arabic, indeed."
"Well, close enough. So what's happened?"
My grin faded. "Petunia wants me to renounce magic."
"What?!"
"She says I'm unfairly endangering her, and she reckons that if I went back to a muggle life then Voldemort would leave me alone."
He gaped. "Is she a complete imbecile?"
I shrugged. Doubt had begun to creep in. "Maybe she's right."
His eyebrows rushed together in a frown. "Lily, don't be absurd."
"But she could be," I pressed. "If my being a witch has brought this on my family..."
He snorted. "Do you seriously think that every muggle that was killed at that station on Christmas Eve had some link with a witch or wizard?"
I said nothing.
"The only difference between them and your parents is that nobody knows what killed them! A bomb, that's what everyone thinks happened to that station. A simple terrorist. Only Petunia knows that it was a dark wizard with a wand, and she wouldn't know any different if you were a muggle like her. The point is, it was pure coincidence that Voldemort struck that station. He didn't think 'Hey, Lily Evans' parents are going to be at that station this evening, I'd better attack it.' He wanted to demonstrate power to the magic world. I doubt he envisaged any muggles knowing what really happened."
I sighed shakily. He was right, of course. Petunia was being ridiculous. I didn't need to worry.
Chapter 36
When I came round in the hospital wing, James was sitting at my side, and so was Sirius Black. He looked horrified. The memories came flooding back.
"My parents," I whispered.
James leaned forward. "Sorry?"
I shook my head. "Don't worry - what are you doing here?"
"Sirius and I got permission to sit with you, due to the circumstances."
James I could understand, but Sirius? "Why are you here?" I asked him weakly.
"Be-because of who killed your parents," he muttered.
"Who?"
"My cousin," he mumbled.
"What?" I tried to sit up, but James held me down.
"My cousin killed your parents."
I was stunned. All I could do was stare.
"It said so in that letter. I wanted to explain that I'm not - not like him. Or any of them. I don't even live with my family."
This was too much to comprehend. My parents were dead, at the hands of Sirius's relative, and he was... what? Disowning his family? "I don't understand."
"I ran away from home two years ago. I just wanted you to know that - that I didn't think like them. That I wasn't - proud - that your parents were dead." He stood up. "I'll leave you."
When his footsteps had retreated down the ward, James gave me a concerned look.
"Are you all right? Well. I mean, obviously you're not all right, but..."
"How did it happen?" I interrupted. "How did my parents, muggles, get struck by a wizard? And why? Is it because of me?"
He shook his head. "No. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Voldemort was just demonstrating more power by muggle torturing. He didn't know that they had a witch daughter."
I shuddered. "Tortured," I repeated.
He said nothing. Of course he couldn't deny it. Muggles were a game, to Voldemort.
"What about Petunia?"
"She's fine," he replied. "She was out."
"With Vernon Dursley," I said. "Thank God. And the house? I suppose that's gone."
"No. Your parents weren't at home. They were at a muggle train station."
"Oh." I felt weak again.
"Have some chocolate," he said, taking a bar out of his robe pocket. "Madam Pomfrey was trying to force feed it to you earlier, but gave up."
I smiled half-heartedly. "You can go, if you want. I'll only depress you."
"No," he said firmly. "I'm staying with you. If you're here on your own you'll only dwell on everything. It's my duty as Head Boy to look after you."
I stayed in the hospital wing for two days before deciding that I needed to go home. Professor Dumbledore came to visit.
"I hear you want to go home to sort things out."
"Just for a few days. It'll be the funeral."
He nodded. "Yes. That's absolutely fine. You may go as soon as you wish."
"Thank you."
"On one condition."
"Yes?"
"You take James."
"Why? I mean..."
"I quite understand that you probably want to be alone, but equally Voldemort is not defeated after last week, and I think you may need protection. Besides, travelling can be difficult."
"I can Apparate."
"Not in this state of mind you can't. James can fly you home, and stay with you. Never underestimate the power of moral support."
"He might not want to come."
"I've checked."
"Oh. Well, all right, then. I suppose..."
"Good," said Professor Dumbledore. "And Madam Pomfrey insists you take plenty of chocolate."
I had to laugh.
Petunia seemed composed, although pale, when I arrived. James had agreed to stay outside. "Thank God you were at Vernon's," I said shakily when we met. For the first time since I had started Hogwarts, we were not fighting, although conversation was stilted.
She nodded. "And you at... school."
"Yes."
"The funeral will be on Wednesday."
"I'll stay for it."
"Yes," she repeated.
There was a long pause.
"So. What's going to happen about your wedding?" I asked. It was a strange thing to say, but I couldn't think of anything better.
"We'll have it in spring anyway. I don't want to stay in this house for longer than necessary. I understand you'll need it, though."
I shook my head. "No. We should sell it and split the money. Then we'll each be able to live somewhere new. There are too many memories."
She nodded. "All right."
"So..." I said again.
Suddenly she looked up. "Did he kill them because of you?"
I began to cry. "I don't know. Everyone says they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but it's just too much of a coincidence."
She watched me without doing anything. "So. Will you renounce that world now? I always knew it was a bad idea to go there. You could marry a normal man, and forget it. Then this... Voldemort... might leave us alone."
I stared at her, misty through my tears. "What?"
"Forget about - magic. Hasn't this proved that it's dangerous? It's killed our parents," she said harshly. "But you could forget it, not go back there..."
"Petunia, you can't be serious! It's - it's my home, my kind. I'm not a muggle any more, I can't just forget it!"
Her eyes narrowed. "I see no reason why not. You've only been a... witch... for less than half your life."
"But my friends are magic, I've learnt magic! I'm not prepared to live a muggle life, I haven't been taught maths since I was eleven! I've learnt Charms to do calculations for me, I've learnt Potions instead of science, I do flying, not netball!"
"That can be corrected."
"No it can't! And I don't want to be... corrected. I am a witch, and all this has told me is that I need to help fight! Even if all I do is support those fighting. You can't just desert in a war!"
Petunia stamped her foot childishly. "I don't see why I should be dragged into this just by your stubbornness!"
"Why are you being dragged into this?"
"Because you won't give it up! He attacked our parents, and you admitted yourself that it was too much of a coincidence! I resent having my own life put at risk!"
I spun on my heel and made for the kitchen door. "You're being ridiculous, Petunia."
"No - you are! You've allowed our parents to die, you don't care about my life either. I suppose I'm not so important as you, with your magic tricks and your little boyfriends who impress you by tying me up! How many of us do you want dead before you realise that all your world causes is trouble?!"
I raised my wand. "Silencio!" She fell quiet. "I'll be back for the funeral. See you then." I stormed out of the kitchen, knowing the hex would wear off but not wanting to be around when it did.
James caught my arm as I ran down the drive. "Lily!"
"Oh - sorry."
"What's wrong?"
"Not here," I said, "she'll come out. Can we go... somewhere?"
He nodded, and we headed for a secluded teashop in the High Street, which was littered with a few old biddies draining their cups of coffee, and a bored looking teenager at the desk who brightened visibly when she saw James.
"Do you come in here often?" she purred, leaning over the counter. "I've only just started work..."
He flicked a glance at me before replying. "No, I'm visiting," he said brusquely. "Two Cokes, please, and some chocolate cake."
She turned frosty as she prepared the order, and snatched the money from his hand. "And what is this?" she asked, holding up a bronze Knut.
"Foreign currency," James lied easily. "Arabic, you know. Here." He replaced it with a fifty pence piece.
I smiled as we sat down. "Arabic, indeed."
"Well, close enough. So what's happened?"
My grin faded. "Petunia wants me to renounce magic."
"What?!"
"She says I'm unfairly endangering her, and she reckons that if I went back to a muggle life then Voldemort would leave me alone."
He gaped. "Is she a complete imbecile?"
I shrugged. Doubt had begun to creep in. "Maybe she's right."
His eyebrows rushed together in a frown. "Lily, don't be absurd."
"But she could be," I pressed. "If my being a witch has brought this on my family..."
He snorted. "Do you seriously think that every muggle that was killed at that station on Christmas Eve had some link with a witch or wizard?"
I said nothing.
"The only difference between them and your parents is that nobody knows what killed them! A bomb, that's what everyone thinks happened to that station. A simple terrorist. Only Petunia knows that it was a dark wizard with a wand, and she wouldn't know any different if you were a muggle like her. The point is, it was pure coincidence that Voldemort struck that station. He didn't think 'Hey, Lily Evans' parents are going to be at that station this evening, I'd better attack it.' He wanted to demonstrate power to the magic world. I doubt he envisaged any muggles knowing what really happened."
I sighed shakily. He was right, of course. Petunia was being ridiculous. I didn't need to worry.