It was a cold and bitter air that bit at the tips of Carter's ears that night. His eyes were blinded as they wandered over the twinkling lights of the city, then they shifted to one random cardinal direction as he heard the bold cry of a tower clock chime for the last and first hour of the day. Carter became aware that he could have been imagining this when he glanced down at his watch, for it was past twelve thirty already and he had already heard the chiming that had recoiled him to reality. He feared he was losing his sanity when he could have sworn that this was the second time he had heard the tower clock. Then it hit him that the clock chimed routinely at half past the hour. He was reassured that his mental stability was all right, however, a shiver that combined the reaction to both cold air and anxiety swept down his spine.
"Where is she?" he whispered, realizing at the sound of his voice just how distraught he had grown. "They couldn't have lost my note, they just couldn't have. . ."
His body tensed as a gust of cool air blew his hair into his face from behind him. He heard a creak as his hand automatically went toward his hair to fix it. Knowing that his joints made no noise of the kind, he quickly continued the action, dropped his hand, and then widened his eyes.
Carter whirled around to look at the rooftop door that had just swung open. No one except for a struggling Kerry Weaver, dressed solely in her work outfit and in no coat, stepped onto the roof.
"Hey, Carter. . . aren't you cold?" she asked, sounding slightly out of breath from having crutched her way up the stairs.
"Somewhat, yea. . . no big deal. . . I was just, uh, waiting for someone, that's all."
"Mind if I join you for a second?"
"Erm. . . sure," Carter said in a mock-invitational voice.
"I won't stay long, just thought I'd give this to you. . . sorry I read it, but uh, I don't know if it ever got to anyone," Kerry said as she pulled a ball of paper out of her pocket.
Carter eyed the paper in amazement. "You of all people," he started, "how did you get this?"
"Never mind that. . . but I didn't see her, I'm sorry," she said regretfully as she turned to leave.
"Don't be sorry, Kerry," Carter pleaded slightly after her, then she turned around and nodded that she had heard him and continued on her way.
After the door had creaked shut again, Carter opened his note and read it, a nervous twinge taking over his right hand as he held it. How stupid it sounded to him now. . . "meet me at twelve thirty. . . it's important. . ." he could hardly soak in that this was even his handwriting.
All along he had had a foreboding feeling that the note would never make it to Abby on time. He thought himself and idiot for having hope in it and blamed himself for not having said anything to her on his own. He had not seen her, but he could have looked, right? Rather than sitting there writing and trying to be sly, he could have just gotten his ass out of the chair and looked for her! Why did he even itry/i to think that plan would succeed?
"Yea well," he breathed, then continued to stare at a flashing sign advertising a movie that was supposedly a film on a dramatic topic. How on earth watching someone else's hardships could earn a form of art "stars" was beyond Carter. He literally shook this thought from his mind and tried to stop staring at the lights by letting his eyelids slide closed and by letting his body rest loosely on the ledge in front of him. The hand that had grasped the paper hung over the edge, and his entire arm lost all strength as he inhaled deeply and let the paper float to the ground below. Maybe there she'd find it. He could just imagine Abby finding the paper, but it was all too vivid and surreal. As a lump rose in his throat, he wished aloud for a better chance.
"For once I'd like things to go right. . . just once!" He then sniffed in the same bitter air that nipped ferociously now at his ears. "All I ask is one time. . . it's not that hard. . . is it?" Carter changed his watery gaze to the stars. There was not a cloud in the sky, and at least that had the power to cause a small smile to emerge on his face. "I'll bet you're one lucky man, Orion," he said as he spotted the constellation's belt.
Keeping his eyes on the dark, oblivious night sky, Carter sat on the ground with his back to the ledge, yawning. His eyelids dropped slowly over his dark, teary, brown eyes, and he drifted slightly to sleep. The air was windless where he sat, crouched in the corner.
:::::::::
"Carter," a voice called from a distant somewhere, "Carter!"
He awoke to a blurred face in front of him, but he was no longer cold. He looked around and saw that he was still on the roof. Blinking thrice tightly, he focused on the figure in front of him.
"Abby!" he nearly said as he realized just who was kneeling in front of him. She had a gloveless hand on his cheek.
"You're freezing! Are you all right?" she questioned anxiously.
"Yea, I'm fine," he tried to say, but his voice was a nearly inaudible whisper. "Listen, I have something to tell you. . ." he started, but he was interrupted by Abby.
"I found him, Mark. He's right here," Abby called over her shoulder.
Carter's heart plummeted slightly, for he had hoped to be alone with her. Mark merely nodded and stepped off to the side. Then Carter's heart sank further down into his chest when Yosh and Jerry appeared behind Abby.
"Sorry," said Jerry. Carter had a vague idea of what Jerry was referring to when he looked at Yosh, who was evading any eye contact with Carter. Carter had not realized that he was the subject of a wild goose chase.
"Eh. . . Abby, can I talk to you for a minute?" It was hard to speak loudly. "I have to tell you something." Abby leaned in close as to hear Carter better, as did everyone else. "Would you all be so kind as to let me have a private conversation?"
"It's not like we don't know what you're going to say," Mark interjected with a touch of hostility in his voice.
"Yea really, we were in charge of this whole 'note' thing, anyway," Jerry added hastily. Carter could not believe his tone.
"And I don't know why you had to drag me into this at all!" Yosh exclaimed.
Carter was taken aback, and his world came crashing down on him. He wanted to rely on himself now, but now was too late of a time. "But I want to do this. . ."
"Yourself?" He found, to his horror, that Abby had finished this sentence. "I'm sure."
As she backed away, a fear and feeling of unfathomable hopelessness made his soul seem to leave him as though he were a human sieve of emotion. He felt limp and light and empty as he slumped helplessly onto his right side. His vision blurred, and as he lay there, no one seemed to care. He yelled out for help as he began to shiver uncontrollably, but his view darkened and everything floated away from him as quickly as it had come when he was roused out of sleep by Abby in the first place.
"I did, I really did! It's all I wanted to do," he pleaded, his last bit of hope leaving him. "It's all I needed to do, it's all I wanted, forgive me! Please, Abby! Everyone, please, listen. . ."
:::::::::
"Carter?" a voice whispered from a distant somewhere. "Carter!" it called, a bit louder and more urgently.
He had no motivation to rise save for the sound of the voice. It always inevitably took him from sleep.
"It's all I wanted, forgive me, forgive me," Carter managed. The resonant sound of his voice scared him at first, causing his eyes to shoot open again. His view was sideways, as he had left it.
"Carter, are you okay?" A warm hand scooped under his shoulder and an arm grasped around his back and he was lifted vertically again. The figure stepped back, leaving its warm hands on his shoulders.
"What. . . Abby? Is it you? Am I awake?"
"Yes. . . I hope so," she assured him, concern flooding her tone of voice.
"Good. . . I was having a nightmare, I think, and. . . wow, that's beside the point," Carter stuttered.
"What point?" she asked, then shook her head. "I've been looking for you, I wanted to talk to you but I haven't seen you all day. . ."
"Wait!" Carter said, taking her aback and cutting her off in mid-conversation. "Let me explain this to you. . . I tried to write a note to you, all I wanted to do was talk to you, but I kept laying the responsibility on everyone else. . ."
"I know," Abby cut in, returning the favor of interruption. "People have been asking for me all day. . . the truth is, Carter, that I've been asking for you the whole time."
Carter looked her in the eyes.
"Abby," he started after a few seconds of near bliss, seeing that she was ready to listen to her, "I have to tell you this. . . I - I've been dreaming of you. . . since the beginning of October, and I didn't know why, but I've tried everything. . . I've been trying to get everyone else to do everything for me. . . that's beside the point, but I have, just to confess it. . ."
"Calm down. . . slower, Carter."
Carter took a deep breath and started again, this time more slowly, into his monologue. "It took me a while to get used to you. . . and this. . . but after being around you, feeling the tension, I can't take it anymore. Just looking into your eyes right now, I know you feel something like it. I've watched you so much and I don't know where I've gone right and wrong, but I know something has to be right or else you wouldn't be here." He didn't know where to end.
"I've seen you watching me," Abby said. "I always. . . kind of secretly hoped that, you know, you always were. I haven't dreamed of you that I know of, but I've been thinking."
"About me?" Carter asked, his eyes alight with question and disbelief.
"Yes, about you and you know I. . ."
"Can't believe I'm saying this to you?"
"Right now. . ."
"Neither can I," they both said, and it was nearly harmonious. They hadn't realized until just then how deeply their gazes had gone into each other.
"Tell me I'm not dreaming," Carter demanded softly.
"You're not dreaming."
They both laughed a little and smiled.
"Good," Carter said, relieved, as he made his way to his feet. "Thanks for coming to get me. . . I'd have been a human popsicle," he laughed.
"No problem," Abby said with a smile that made Carter want to photograph it in his memory. . . and he thought he did.
The air brushed them coolly and Abby's teeth chattered a bit. Carter stood still. Then a gust of wind made her falter to the ledge, where Carter moved closely to keep her standing.
He had come awfully close to. . .
Abby stared thankfully into his eyes, noticing the cute gesture he had made to keep her from needing support from a brick ledge.
"Tell me. . . what does it mean when someone can't stop thinking about another person?" she asked genuinely.
"It means a lot. . . how about dreaming about another person?"
"A lot."
"If I'm not mistaken. . . I think I've uh, wow, this is kind of amazing to say. . ."
"If I'm not mistaken," Abby whispered, "we're thinking the same thing."
"I think we are," Carter said, his voice also a whisper with the wind.
Carter's arms had found their own way around Abby, and she acknowledged this by putting hers around him. They seemed to have pulled each other closer together as slowly as they could, but not hesitantly.
"My point is," Carter said at last, "is that I can't help but notice that. . . I've fallen in love with you."
"I think I just did all over again," Abby said softly.
Carter leaned down slowly toward Abby, and their eyes for once parted only to close as they kissed. They both seemed to put as much into the moment as the other did. As they parted, their eyes met again.
"Yea," Carter said, nodding, "I love you."
"I love you, too," Abby said, and Carter knew she meant it as much as he did.
They both smiled and Carter leaned in again, as did Abby simultaneously, and they kissed once more before retreating from the bitter cold that had long since not been as bitter as when Carter had greeted it.
:::::::::
A/N: Well, there you have it. I hope you liked it, and if not, make suggestions, I guess. I've had a few moments like this myself over the past few months. I find now that I probably couldn't have written this chapter very accurately without knowing what it feels like, so here is a pretty genuine seen from my point of view. Thanks for dealing with the corny middle part and for dealing with the time it took to submit this, but school can be demanding, haha. Thanks for reading, and there is much hope in me that you can give some feedback, please. Thank you to J. K. Rowling for getting me in the spirit to write, thank you to Stephen King (the writing master) for actually getting me to sit myself in front of this laptop, thanks to the reviewers for making me finish this nearly sixty-paged story because sometimes my friends who read it made me feel threatened that I would be inflicted upon if I didn't finish this, and thank you to my loverboy for being my inspiration.
"Where is she?" he whispered, realizing at the sound of his voice just how distraught he had grown. "They couldn't have lost my note, they just couldn't have. . ."
His body tensed as a gust of cool air blew his hair into his face from behind him. He heard a creak as his hand automatically went toward his hair to fix it. Knowing that his joints made no noise of the kind, he quickly continued the action, dropped his hand, and then widened his eyes.
Carter whirled around to look at the rooftop door that had just swung open. No one except for a struggling Kerry Weaver, dressed solely in her work outfit and in no coat, stepped onto the roof.
"Hey, Carter. . . aren't you cold?" she asked, sounding slightly out of breath from having crutched her way up the stairs.
"Somewhat, yea. . . no big deal. . . I was just, uh, waiting for someone, that's all."
"Mind if I join you for a second?"
"Erm. . . sure," Carter said in a mock-invitational voice.
"I won't stay long, just thought I'd give this to you. . . sorry I read it, but uh, I don't know if it ever got to anyone," Kerry said as she pulled a ball of paper out of her pocket.
Carter eyed the paper in amazement. "You of all people," he started, "how did you get this?"
"Never mind that. . . but I didn't see her, I'm sorry," she said regretfully as she turned to leave.
"Don't be sorry, Kerry," Carter pleaded slightly after her, then she turned around and nodded that she had heard him and continued on her way.
After the door had creaked shut again, Carter opened his note and read it, a nervous twinge taking over his right hand as he held it. How stupid it sounded to him now. . . "meet me at twelve thirty. . . it's important. . ." he could hardly soak in that this was even his handwriting.
All along he had had a foreboding feeling that the note would never make it to Abby on time. He thought himself and idiot for having hope in it and blamed himself for not having said anything to her on his own. He had not seen her, but he could have looked, right? Rather than sitting there writing and trying to be sly, he could have just gotten his ass out of the chair and looked for her! Why did he even itry/i to think that plan would succeed?
"Yea well," he breathed, then continued to stare at a flashing sign advertising a movie that was supposedly a film on a dramatic topic. How on earth watching someone else's hardships could earn a form of art "stars" was beyond Carter. He literally shook this thought from his mind and tried to stop staring at the lights by letting his eyelids slide closed and by letting his body rest loosely on the ledge in front of him. The hand that had grasped the paper hung over the edge, and his entire arm lost all strength as he inhaled deeply and let the paper float to the ground below. Maybe there she'd find it. He could just imagine Abby finding the paper, but it was all too vivid and surreal. As a lump rose in his throat, he wished aloud for a better chance.
"For once I'd like things to go right. . . just once!" He then sniffed in the same bitter air that nipped ferociously now at his ears. "All I ask is one time. . . it's not that hard. . . is it?" Carter changed his watery gaze to the stars. There was not a cloud in the sky, and at least that had the power to cause a small smile to emerge on his face. "I'll bet you're one lucky man, Orion," he said as he spotted the constellation's belt.
Keeping his eyes on the dark, oblivious night sky, Carter sat on the ground with his back to the ledge, yawning. His eyelids dropped slowly over his dark, teary, brown eyes, and he drifted slightly to sleep. The air was windless where he sat, crouched in the corner.
:::::::::
"Carter," a voice called from a distant somewhere, "Carter!"
He awoke to a blurred face in front of him, but he was no longer cold. He looked around and saw that he was still on the roof. Blinking thrice tightly, he focused on the figure in front of him.
"Abby!" he nearly said as he realized just who was kneeling in front of him. She had a gloveless hand on his cheek.
"You're freezing! Are you all right?" she questioned anxiously.
"Yea, I'm fine," he tried to say, but his voice was a nearly inaudible whisper. "Listen, I have something to tell you. . ." he started, but he was interrupted by Abby.
"I found him, Mark. He's right here," Abby called over her shoulder.
Carter's heart plummeted slightly, for he had hoped to be alone with her. Mark merely nodded and stepped off to the side. Then Carter's heart sank further down into his chest when Yosh and Jerry appeared behind Abby.
"Sorry," said Jerry. Carter had a vague idea of what Jerry was referring to when he looked at Yosh, who was evading any eye contact with Carter. Carter had not realized that he was the subject of a wild goose chase.
"Eh. . . Abby, can I talk to you for a minute?" It was hard to speak loudly. "I have to tell you something." Abby leaned in close as to hear Carter better, as did everyone else. "Would you all be so kind as to let me have a private conversation?"
"It's not like we don't know what you're going to say," Mark interjected with a touch of hostility in his voice.
"Yea really, we were in charge of this whole 'note' thing, anyway," Jerry added hastily. Carter could not believe his tone.
"And I don't know why you had to drag me into this at all!" Yosh exclaimed.
Carter was taken aback, and his world came crashing down on him. He wanted to rely on himself now, but now was too late of a time. "But I want to do this. . ."
"Yourself?" He found, to his horror, that Abby had finished this sentence. "I'm sure."
As she backed away, a fear and feeling of unfathomable hopelessness made his soul seem to leave him as though he were a human sieve of emotion. He felt limp and light and empty as he slumped helplessly onto his right side. His vision blurred, and as he lay there, no one seemed to care. He yelled out for help as he began to shiver uncontrollably, but his view darkened and everything floated away from him as quickly as it had come when he was roused out of sleep by Abby in the first place.
"I did, I really did! It's all I wanted to do," he pleaded, his last bit of hope leaving him. "It's all I needed to do, it's all I wanted, forgive me! Please, Abby! Everyone, please, listen. . ."
:::::::::
"Carter?" a voice whispered from a distant somewhere. "Carter!" it called, a bit louder and more urgently.
He had no motivation to rise save for the sound of the voice. It always inevitably took him from sleep.
"It's all I wanted, forgive me, forgive me," Carter managed. The resonant sound of his voice scared him at first, causing his eyes to shoot open again. His view was sideways, as he had left it.
"Carter, are you okay?" A warm hand scooped under his shoulder and an arm grasped around his back and he was lifted vertically again. The figure stepped back, leaving its warm hands on his shoulders.
"What. . . Abby? Is it you? Am I awake?"
"Yes. . . I hope so," she assured him, concern flooding her tone of voice.
"Good. . . I was having a nightmare, I think, and. . . wow, that's beside the point," Carter stuttered.
"What point?" she asked, then shook her head. "I've been looking for you, I wanted to talk to you but I haven't seen you all day. . ."
"Wait!" Carter said, taking her aback and cutting her off in mid-conversation. "Let me explain this to you. . . I tried to write a note to you, all I wanted to do was talk to you, but I kept laying the responsibility on everyone else. . ."
"I know," Abby cut in, returning the favor of interruption. "People have been asking for me all day. . . the truth is, Carter, that I've been asking for you the whole time."
Carter looked her in the eyes.
"Abby," he started after a few seconds of near bliss, seeing that she was ready to listen to her, "I have to tell you this. . . I - I've been dreaming of you. . . since the beginning of October, and I didn't know why, but I've tried everything. . . I've been trying to get everyone else to do everything for me. . . that's beside the point, but I have, just to confess it. . ."
"Calm down. . . slower, Carter."
Carter took a deep breath and started again, this time more slowly, into his monologue. "It took me a while to get used to you. . . and this. . . but after being around you, feeling the tension, I can't take it anymore. Just looking into your eyes right now, I know you feel something like it. I've watched you so much and I don't know where I've gone right and wrong, but I know something has to be right or else you wouldn't be here." He didn't know where to end.
"I've seen you watching me," Abby said. "I always. . . kind of secretly hoped that, you know, you always were. I haven't dreamed of you that I know of, but I've been thinking."
"About me?" Carter asked, his eyes alight with question and disbelief.
"Yes, about you and you know I. . ."
"Can't believe I'm saying this to you?"
"Right now. . ."
"Neither can I," they both said, and it was nearly harmonious. They hadn't realized until just then how deeply their gazes had gone into each other.
"Tell me I'm not dreaming," Carter demanded softly.
"You're not dreaming."
They both laughed a little and smiled.
"Good," Carter said, relieved, as he made his way to his feet. "Thanks for coming to get me. . . I'd have been a human popsicle," he laughed.
"No problem," Abby said with a smile that made Carter want to photograph it in his memory. . . and he thought he did.
The air brushed them coolly and Abby's teeth chattered a bit. Carter stood still. Then a gust of wind made her falter to the ledge, where Carter moved closely to keep her standing.
He had come awfully close to. . .
Abby stared thankfully into his eyes, noticing the cute gesture he had made to keep her from needing support from a brick ledge.
"Tell me. . . what does it mean when someone can't stop thinking about another person?" she asked genuinely.
"It means a lot. . . how about dreaming about another person?"
"A lot."
"If I'm not mistaken. . . I think I've uh, wow, this is kind of amazing to say. . ."
"If I'm not mistaken," Abby whispered, "we're thinking the same thing."
"I think we are," Carter said, his voice also a whisper with the wind.
Carter's arms had found their own way around Abby, and she acknowledged this by putting hers around him. They seemed to have pulled each other closer together as slowly as they could, but not hesitantly.
"My point is," Carter said at last, "is that I can't help but notice that. . . I've fallen in love with you."
"I think I just did all over again," Abby said softly.
Carter leaned down slowly toward Abby, and their eyes for once parted only to close as they kissed. They both seemed to put as much into the moment as the other did. As they parted, their eyes met again.
"Yea," Carter said, nodding, "I love you."
"I love you, too," Abby said, and Carter knew she meant it as much as he did.
They both smiled and Carter leaned in again, as did Abby simultaneously, and they kissed once more before retreating from the bitter cold that had long since not been as bitter as when Carter had greeted it.
:::::::::
A/N: Well, there you have it. I hope you liked it, and if not, make suggestions, I guess. I've had a few moments like this myself over the past few months. I find now that I probably couldn't have written this chapter very accurately without knowing what it feels like, so here is a pretty genuine seen from my point of view. Thanks for dealing with the corny middle part and for dealing with the time it took to submit this, but school can be demanding, haha. Thanks for reading, and there is much hope in me that you can give some feedback, please. Thank you to J. K. Rowling for getting me in the spirit to write, thank you to Stephen King (the writing master) for actually getting me to sit myself in front of this laptop, thanks to the reviewers for making me finish this nearly sixty-paged story because sometimes my friends who read it made me feel threatened that I would be inflicted upon if I didn't finish this, and thank you to my loverboy for being my inspiration.