B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! Wow! What a response! Glad you people agree with me about that chappy. Thank to: londonlover2 (thanks! why do you love london though??), KrisKG, lady dragons, bloomz-baby (love the name!), Kat (7th year, and thanks for the compliment!), kate (thanks! I am to annoy...), PriBAngel (evil? you flatter me...), he who cant write (aww! you are so cute!), Oliverwoodschic, Red- Emerald, JamesIsMine04, EgyptsStar (!!! thanks!! i've never been called a kitten before... but being purposefully obtuse is fun!!!! erm, can you send me the fic name again? soz, but when my compy died, i lost all my emails... love you for your staunch Sev support!), miss-mags-ak, Candian Blueberries and Invisible Voice (thanks!). Anyway, Lourdaise is back now so over to her:

A/N: Grief! Has anyone else noticed that Eihwaz has stealthily taken over the world?! Or if not the world, then this story at least! I swear it is the author who is supposed to do the thank yous. Nowadays, she writes them at lunchtime and LUCKY ME!!!! I get to TYPE THEM ALL OUT!!!!! anyway. rant over. she is wonderful at beta-ing without a computer, so I SUPPOSE i shud allow her to hijack some things. humph. anyway especial thanks to londonlover2 - I can't believe it feels like an original HP! and also i love london too. eihwaz is just a cynic. oh and for anyone interested, Cambridge was good. on with the show!

Chapter 38

I didn't mention his words to anyone else, but they were solely responsible for a change in me. Since Christmas, I had tried not to seem miserable, but I had never been particularly cheerful either. Now, I couldn't help but be buoyed up.

Having managed to force out the words, James had turned a flaming red and began kicking the fountain with his heels.

"I suppose now I seem a complete idiot," he had muttered.

I had smiled. "No."

"No?"

I hadn't seen a need to echo his own words. Instead I had leaned closer to him, and watched his incredulous grin as I wrapped my arms round him.

"You mean you love me too?"

I raised one eyebrow. "Now don't go making assumptions, Potter," I began as he jumped down from the fountain and spun me round, whooping. "Put me down!" He complied and I tutted. "You're like a small child!"

He laughed. "But you love me," he reminded me, and kissed me.

People who, since Christmas, had begun to speculate that James would soon be moving on from me were bewildered by his sudden change in attitude. Roses and silly gifts began appearing in most unlikely places, and he could often be seen doing nothing but watching me. I laughed at him.

"James, get a grip - you're as besotted with me as Peter is with you!"

His eyes widened. "What?" Then he smirked. "Are you saying you'd rather I started chasing the other girls again?"

I mock-slapped his cheek. "Don't even think of it, mister."

He reached out and pulled me in to kiss him.

"Get a room," came a teasing voice behind us, and I felt myself lifted away from James by Sirius. "Not all of us are ready to lose our dinners quite yet."

Remus was standing by as well. His eyes were sparkling. "Leave them alone, Sirius, you're only jealous."

Sirius spun round. "Jealous, me?"

"Yes," piped up Peter. "'Cause all your girlfriends only last a month."

Sirius spluttered and then stalked off. "I'll have you know I could get a steady girlfriend if I wanted one!" he called over his shoulder.

"Oh dear," groaned Remus. "Come on Wormtail, let's go."

I sat down beside James, who was smiling. "Good old Moony."

I watched as they chased Sirius out of the Common Room. "Yeah. I always wondered why he didn't have a girlfriend. Enough girls are interested in him."

James gave me a sharp look. "Who?"

"Oh, Shelley Corner and Dawn Goldstein in our year, and a few younger ones as well."

He considered. "Dawn Goldstein... yeah, I think I remember her... but Shelley?"

"Yes, she did go out with you," I said acidly.

He flushed slightly. "Yeah, well, I was holding out for true love."

I rolled my eyes. "Right. So Remus?"

He shrugged and looked evasive. "I think he's... too busy."

"Why is he any more busy than anyone else?"

"And he has... issues."

I gulped. "He's gay?"

"NO!" James choked with laughter. "No. Not that sort of issue."

"Then what?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Lils, I don't think I'm allowed to tell you."

I sat up straighter. "But -"

"Please, Lily, leave it." His tone was firm and I conceded defeat. I would find out somehow, I decided, then shuddered. I was more like Petunia than I thought - nosy. "But you're not surprised that Peter's single?" he asked, teasing again now.

"Not particularly, no," I said, then clapped a hand over my mouth. "I didn't say that!"

But James had already cracked up with laughter.

One night in late March, as I sat struggling with some tricky Transfiguration homework, I felt someone sit beside me. "Hi James," I said absently.

"Since when was I James?" laughed a familiar voice. I glanced up.

"Juliet! Where's Rebecca?"

"Would you believe she's having extra lessons in Charms? Since you -" she broke off. "That is, she's deteriorated since -"

I waved a hand. "You can say it, Julie. I know I'm not around much any more."

She looked sad. "Why?"

"Why? Isn't it obvious? You don't like James and Si, so..."

"Neither did you, before. And since when was Sirius Black 'Si' to you?" She began to giggle.

I joined in sheepishly. "I don't know," I admitted. "And yes, I know I used to hate them, but... things changed. And you wouldn't change with me, so I had to make a choice."

She nodded slowly. "We could catch up with you," she said quietly.

I blinked. "You would?"

"We could try. Rebecca and I were talking, and it seems you might be right. Potter - that is, James... is so different these days. Everybody talks about it."

I laughed. "Really?"

"Yeah. Half the school hates it, half the school loves it. They reckon you'll get married as soon as we leave school."

I guffawed. "What!"

"Well, what are the odds that James Potter would ever find two people who he was happy to settle down with? Nah, it's gotta be you."

"But what if I don't want him?"

She frowned. "I thought you..."

"Oh, I love him - at the moment! But marriage? No way."

She shrugged. "Fair enough. I won't be getting married as soon as we leave, that's for sure."

I smiled. "How are things going with, er... that Hufflepuff..."

She snorted. "Him? Oh, we split up ages ago. He was a nerd."

"So you don't have that big a problem with more popular guys, then?"

She swatted her hand at me. "I never said I did! We all had a problem with Potter and Black, and 'til the day I die I'm sure I'll never understand how that changed."

I laughed. "It's not a secret."

"Oh! I thought - well, come on, then Lils. You've got some serious bean spilling to do."

I settled back in the sofa, homework abandoned. "Oh, all right. Well... it all started last year. A really stupid, stupid thing."

She raised her eyebrows.

"Well, you know when Petunia wrote to tell me she was getting married? Or rather M-Mum wrote."

"Yes..."

"And I disappeared in the night?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I went down to the common room, and James was in there - sleeping. And... oh God, this is so embarrassing - he was kinda... cute."

She began to laugh. "You are so not telling me that all this started because James Potter doesn't snore?"

I giggled. "True, he doesn't, but... yes, in short."

She gaped. "Lily Evans, I thought better of you!"

"I can assure you I was disappointed in myself too. And then... well, I just kept... noticing him. Being funny, or sweet, or... well, and not boring. 'Cause Robert was really... depressing me... because he was so boring. But I thought, 'no this is stupid,' and I'd just decided to ignore it when we got made Head Boy and Girl."

Juliet's eyes lit up. "Now I know why you looked terrified!"

"Yes, well, exactly. And then he just kept proving that he was actually a decent, if slightly arrogant, person."

"Slightly?" she scoffed.

"Well, all right, but I think he's not so bad as he was in fifth year now."

"No."

"And he made me laugh. So then, when he fell off his broom... I just went kind of mad. I didn't mean to ever tell him how I felt."

"So you were telling him that."

"No, I wasn't, I was just going, 'Wake up, James', but he realised why, and then... when I went on patrol the next week, he sort of appeared."

"How did he find you in this whole school?"

I smiled. "I wondered, too. They have this little map thing, that says where everyone in the school is. The Marauder's Map, they call it... they wrote it themselves."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's impressive. But anyhow, he persuaded me to tell him the whole thing, and then he kissed me."

Juliet smiled. "I was waiting for that."

"Yeah, well, it didn't get very far because Peeves arrived."

She groaned.

"Exactly, but James sort of hexed him until near death... well, he's already dead, but again."

Juliet grinned. "I must try that."

"Apparently you have to feel pure hatred. I think James was pretty upset by the interruption." We giggled. "Anyway, so then he suggested we split up - he went to patrol the towers and me the classrooms. But he asked me to meet him up... North Tower."

"North Tower? Lily!"

"Well, I know..." I had to pause a minute then. How much should I tell her?

"So yeah."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Did you kiss again?"

"Yes."

"Anything else?"

I opened my mouth, closed it and flushed, giving everything away. She squealed.

"How far?"

I tried to shrug.

"Not -" She made an expressive gesture.

"Well. Maybe."

She shrieked again. "Lily!"

I coughed self-consciously. "Well, anyway, and then we went for a swim in the Prefects' bathroom, and then... well, you saw us at breakfast."

She looked regretful. "Yeah. Sorry about that. It was out of order."

I waved a hand. "No matter."

"So what's happening now?"

"Well, we kind of cooled off when my parents... but then he told me he loved me, so... since then, I guess it's pretty obvious."

She smiled and nodded. "So how many times..."

"Once. Only."

"Hmm. Good?"

I shrugged. "How would I know?" But my smile gave me away.

She giggled. "Can I tell Rebecca?"

"I guess," I said. "So... are we friends again?" Juliet hugged me. "Course, Lily. We should never have stopped being."