When they arrived at the Magic Box, everyone seemed egar at their arrival.
"Guess what!" Anya said as soon as they entered, "we almost know what spell it was!"
"Really?" Xander said with zest. 'Wow that was mighty zesty,' he thought after saying it. The he thought, 'Wow, zesty is a cool word. I should say it sometime.'
"Yeah," Dawn continued for Anya. "Giles trans-."
"Hey, I was supposed to tell them! Remember, we drew straws and I won."
"But I won the coin toss," Dawn protested.
"But you agreed to a rematch in the form of drawing straws."
"I didn't agree, you went and got the straws and-."
"Well that doesn't matter. I still won fair and square," Anya defended quickly.
"No you didn't. I won first but you said we get on try for each hundred years we've been alive. Even then it took you twenty minutes to draw the short straw," Dawn argued.
"Did not," Anya whined.
"Did to," Dawn pouted.
"Did not."
"Did to."
"Give it up shorty, I've had a thousand years of practice," Anya bragged.
"Well I have whining skills that can crack a slayer," Dawn retorted.
"Did not,"Anya continued.
"Did to," Dawn folled the pattern.
"Did not."
"Did to."
The others starred in amusment.
"I've got five bucks that say Anya wins," Xander whispered to Buffy.
"You're on, Dawn is the champion of this," Buffy answered.
"My money is on Anya as well," Giles added.
"Oh Giles, a betting man. I never would have guessed," Xander teased.
"Did not," they returned their attention to the argument.
"Did to."
"Did not."
"Did to."
"Did not infinity."
"Pay up," Xander said puttinghis hand out, ready for payment. Giles was more diginified.
"I believe Xander and I won," he said.
Then from Dawn and Anya's direction, "Did to double infinity."
"I think the bet is still on guys," Buffy said smiling.
"Did not triple infinity," Anya said.
"Did to quadruple infinity," Dawn answered.
"Did not, um...five times infintiy."
"HA!" Dawn and Buffy screamed in unison.
"You broke the chain," Dawn said, glowing.
"What chain?" Anya asked.
"You should have sazid quintuple," Dawn corrected. "You said five times," Buffy said. "Therefore you lose, I win." "I believe you lose," Buffy said in her best Giles impression. Then mimicing Xander, "Pay up." Giles and Xander both reach for their wallets, but realize their wallets are still with their bodies. "Er, I'll go get five dollars from the register," Giles said walking to the counter. "I'll just get Spike to give me my wallet," Xander started. "By the way, where is the old vamp?" "I don't know, I haven't seen him in hours. Or Willow," Dawn answered. "We better find them," Buffy said immediately. "Yeah, let's split up," Xander suggested. "Buffy, you go with Giles and I'll take Dawn—." "No," Buffy said. "Okay, you take Dawn and I'll go with the G-man." "No, that's not it—," She explained. "Oh Buffy, I'm flattered. You couldn't have realized you felt this way six years ago?" Xander joked. "Hey," Anya said. "Oh right, Anya! She can be in my group too," he added. "No, it's Dawn," Buffy said. "Oh my God Buffy, get over the protective vibe already," Anya blurted. "Buffy's right. There's some new bad in town, Dawn should stay here," Xander said. Then, at Dawn's hurt look, "As head researcher." Dawn wasn't exactly jumping for joy, but at least that 'I'm gonna kill you' look was gone. "Okay, Anya stay with her. Giles, Xander, come with me," Buffy commanded. "As soon as the three had left, Anya screamed, "Ha!" "What?" Dawn asked.
"You never got to tell them!" "I'll tell them when they come back," Dawn answered with a look of worry. "No, I will," Anya argued. "Nu uh, I will." "Wait, let's settle this in a mature way," Anya said, sounding very calm and responsible. She thought for a moment, then said, "Okay, I've got it. Whoever can spin around in a circle the longest without falling down wins." "You're on!" Dawn said without hesitation. The two began twirling, but didn't notice as the door slowly opend. The man crept in without even glancing at them. He knew these people, they'd probably be in the back buried in stacks of books doing research to learn the cause of the current mischief. They probably blamed it on some demonic force. They had no idea it was magic. He intended to learn more of they did know by listening in on them. He turned to go toward the back of the building but what he saw made him fall to the floor with laughter. The laughing made the girls stop spinning. They glances at the man on the floor. "Robber!" Anya cried. "He wants my money; he must be stopped!" The man slowly forced himself upright. "Ripper, tell the child I'm no robber," he said between giggles. "What did he say?" Dawn asked Anya worriedly. "I think he's speaking in code," Anya answered. "Quick, get me something heavy to hit him with." "Right, but we have to keep him down," Dawn replied. "Leave that up to me," Anya said and ran over to Ethan. She leaned down beside him and started tickling. Luckily for her, he was very ticklish. "Ripper, call the girl off," he said looking around. Meanwhile, Dawn was looking for something heavy. First she thought of the troll hammer, but she knew it was too heavy, she couldn't even lift it. Then she saw a statue; it was bronze and dipicted a topless Sumarian goddess. She picked it up, it seemed heavy enough but she worried about breaking it in the process of pummeling him. "Is this valuable?" She asked, holding it high above her head so Anya could see. "Nah, I bought it at a garage sale, looks ancient though, doesn't it?" "So not valuable then?" Dawn doubled checked. "Nope," Anya yelled back. "Okay," Dawn said shrugging. She walked carefully over to Anya and the stranger. She positioned the statue above his head and let go. She and Anya jumped back at the crash made by the falling statue. Slowly and timidly, they approached the now listless body. "Is he dead?" Dawn asked, her eyebrows furrowed in fear. "If he is, you did it," Anya said. "Well...you're an accessory," Dawn retaliated. "Well, I'll plead insanity." "Can't argue with that," Dawn mumbled audibly. "Thank you—hey wait. Not thank you. Infact, the opposite of thank you," she babbled. "Anya! What are we going to do?" Dawn panicked. "We can say he killed himself." "Suicide? How does this look like suicide?" "Well...we'll say he walked in here thinking we were a gun shop. Yeah, and when he realized we weren't he picked up the statue and held it over his head. Oh, we tried to stop him; we said, 'No, don't do it! I'm sure we can work this out! You have so much to live for!' but there was no stopping him. No sir-ee. He said, 'No, it's too late for me. Good bye cruel world!' and he dropped the statue on his head," Anya took a deep breath, "How's that?" "Well, that story will certainly help with the insanity plea," Dawn answered, but Anya ignored her insult. "Wait! We didn't kill him!" "He's alive!?" Dawn cried hopefully. "No. The police will think you and Giles did it, so I won't go to jail. Yay!" Anya beamed. "But how does that help me?" Dawn gave her a pleading look. "You're a minor, they can't put you in jail. They'll probably take you away from Buffy though. And that might be a good thing, I mean what kind of guardian would let you kill a man? Tsk tsk Buffy," Anya shook her head in shame. Dawn was about to argue with Anya again when the figure stirred. "Thank God, he's alive," dawn said with relief, but her happiness was suddenly cut short. "Yes, thank God," Anya said, then picked up the head of the statue which was amazingly still in tact and smashed it on his head. "Oh no, he's dead again!" She then screamed. "You hit him again! How could you?!" Dawn yelled. "It wasn't my fault, it was this body, it had some kind of spasm,: Anya defended herself with lies. "That body is just fine," Dawn said, then turned to the motionless body. She bent over and checked his pulse. "He's still alive," She said again with relief. "Let's tie him up," Anya said cheerfully. "Okay," Dawn said, her mood brightening. "Help me put him in that chair. Anya and Dawn hoisted the man into a nearby chair. Then Anya went to get rope, leaving Dawn to find Duct tape. When they returned with their supplies, Dawn asked, "Were you ever in girl scouts?" "No, but I did take vengeance on a group of boy scouts—the girls sent me—it was so funny, they were camping and—." "Nevermind," Dawn said, wishing she hadn't asked. "I'll tie the ropes myself. You tape his mouth, then tape his arms and legs to the chair. We don't know how strong he is so use a lot." "Okay," Anya said happily. Dawn proceeded to tie complex knots, securing him to the chair. "When they get back, I get to tell them," Anya announced. "No way," Dawn answered. "I hit him." "So? I hit him before you did." "Yeah...but I told you to, so it doesn't count," Anya smiled at her own logic. "So...I picked what to hit him with," Dawn smile triumphantly. "I taped him." "I tied him." "I'm older." "I'm younger." "I get to tell them!" Anya whined. "Do not!" "Do too!" "Do not!" "Do too!"