Hands Off

Humor

Rating: PG13

Pairings: Oh, most definitely. All will be made clear - eventually

Disclaimer: No one is mine. I just like to make them laugh. Or to laugh with them. Okay, yes, and at them.

Chapter 3: You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither. – Steve Martin

For the next several nights, Betsy remained alone with her $20. But on the fourth night, a second $20 bill appeared in her cage, the donator unknown.

"Hey, whose is that?" Sara asked, parking herself on the edge of Grissom's desk and poking a finger at the tarantula.

"Sara, please don't tease her," Grissom admonished. "As to whose money that is, I don't know. It was in there when I got here. I'm guessing it's not yours?"

"As if!" Sara snorted. "Of course, it's not mine."

Nick, Catherine and Warrick joined the others in the office, the men grabbing the chairs before either Sara or Catherine could snag them.

"Such gentlemen," Catherine muttered, rolling her eyes.

The fellows showed no remorse. "All's fair in love and war," Nick beamed. "People with self-control get the chairs."

Catherine threw Nick a radiant smile. "At least I'm the happy one," she said smugly, leaning up against one of the shelving units.

"Well, Cath, you've got company now. Someone else has indulged," Sara informed them with a bright smile.

Considering the blank looks she received from Nick and Warrick, she assumed it was neither of them.

Sara laughed. "Greg?"

Grissom stood, retrieving Betsy's cage. "I think we should go ask our favorite labrat."

The investigators made a rather loud and conspicuous convoy down the DNA lab, arousing the curiosity of the other techs. They found Greg working diligently. The young man refused to look up though he was well aware of the five arrivals now crowding his lab space.

"Oh, Greg?" Grissom began, holding up the spider's cage. "Betsy seems to have become richer. Care to explain?"

An instant blush reddened his fair face. Greg tried to shrug carelessly but it came off as more of a nervous twitch.

"I, uh.....I.....uh...."

"C'mon, Greggo! Out with it, man!" Nick insisted, smiling broadly.

Greg took a deep breath, mustered his courage, and spewed forth the story.

"I met a girl last night at the Taco Bell drive-through and one thing led to another and what was I gonna do? Say no because I've got some stupid bet going with a bunch of over-cerebral, under-sexed coworkers?"

Each of of the CSIs wore the identical stunned expression. Greg shrugged again.

"I'm smart enough to know not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I'm not some too-cool CSI who has women throwing themselves at me every night of the week. I may never get another chance." He looked pointedly at Nick and Warrick, who both scowled in confusion. Then, with genuine pride, he said, "Besides, Mandy and I have another date for breakfast. So, good evening gentlemen and ladies, may you find peace in celibacy...suckers." The tech collected himself and made a controlled, dignified exit.

The CSIs were left to gape amongst themselves. Sara finally broke the silence. "Greg has a girlfriend?" she said more to herself than to her colleagues.

Greg suddenly reappeared. "Um," he began with embarrassment, "This is my lab. You guys, uh, need to leave."

Snickering, the others filed past him, Warrick bringing up the rear. He paused in the doorway and turned back to the lanky lab tech.

"You really think women throw themselves at us?" he asked dubiously.

Greg considered before nodding in the affirmative. "Yeah. Don't they?"

"Is this why you want to get out in the field?" Warrick asked.

Greg grinned lecherously. "Well, ya know, I gotta expose myself to more of the female population. My prospects are limited down here in the labs."

Warrick was bemused. "Greg, most of the women we meet in the field are....dead."

Greg's face fell slowly. The tall African-American suddenly grinned, shaking his head and continued out of the lab. "Oh, Sanders, you have so much to learn."

The tech remained silent for a beat then yelled after Warrick, "Yeah, well at least I'm gettin' some!"

He could hear Warrick's laughter from down the hall and was left standing amid his fellow lab technicians, suddenly at the center of their unwanted attention.

"Your turn is coming, buddy. Your turn is coming," he muttered to himself.

TBC