Pre-A/N: Hello, Kuja88 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . I love you.
*blink* . . . . . WAH!!! *hugs Kuja88 till he/she (sorry, hard to tell gender with aliases) chokes* YOU – ARE – MY – HERO! You . . . You're so . . . smart. I mean, I KNOW I shouldn't be letting you know that you were right (bad BMD, bad!) but . . . but there was no WAY I was letting this one fly. You . . . *sniff* . . . You even provided textual evidence . . .! *bursts into tears of joy and throws arms around Kuja88 once more* Geez . . . you were EXACTLY right . . . I thought NO one would get it!
Kuja88: Gah! *tries to free self*
BMD: TEXTUAL evidence (you must have some KICK-ASS reading comprehension skills. I mean, it's like you were reading my mind!). *Releases Kuja88* Here's what I intend to do. Ahem. There is NO WAY I could possibly keep that review open to the public (though I'm a firm believer in never deleting reviews). So here's what I'm a gonna do for you. I copied and pasted the review into IT'S OWN PERSONAL DOCUMENT ENTITLED "KUJA88 REVIEW" and after the epilogue (when your beautifully predicted information is revealed) I'm going to review my own fic with a copied and pasted copy of what you said (with a note even showing when you reviewed etc.) to show how SMART you are!!! Oh, and I think this deserves a little reward, kehe. In keeping with your request (and many other reviewers', I'm sure) . . .
BMD: *stops kicking Garland repeatedly with Triss's spiked boots, grin* Hi Garland.
Garland: *cowering*
BMD: *scary smile* . . . . . . . . . . . THIS IS FOR KUJA88 AND ALL MY FAITHFUL READERS!!! . . . . . . *kick*
Garland: *rolls over and dies*
Readers: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
BMD: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *hugs Kuja88 again*
Kuja88: HEEEEEELP!!!
Drakja: *stares at dead body* . . . Oh, no *sniffle*
BMD: *shrugs, kicks Drakja as well*
End of Pre-A/N.
REAL A/N: This chapter's kinda funny. I dunno why, but the whole thing (well, the beginning at least) is intended to be something of a goof-off on my part. I was REALLY bored and I wanted to stick a little humor into this fic, so . . . yeah, this is the result. At least five pages of sheer ridiculousness and then it's time to commence with our usual torture (what is that from . . .? "Center Stage"? Gah, I can't remember). This is actually a pretty cool chapter. It's another one of those "Zidane kicks ass" chapters. Kuja's still, er, out of commission . . . But expect him to have something of a part soon. Just . . . don't expect it to be what you think. Things are going to be miserable for the characters for several more chapters now. Waha. And just a little warning . . . THIS ONE'S A CLIFFHANGER!!! Whoo Hoo!
Disclaimer: I'm not Japanese, so I could never own Final Fantasy. NEVER!!! *twitch*
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"And I say I am dead, and I move."
– Eric Draven, "The Crow"
"How . . . how did this happen . . .?"
"I . . . I don't know . . ." Eiko repressed a sob. "Th-this . . . this is HORRIBLE!"
"This is the most traumatic experience of my life,"
"Perhaps death IS merciful . . ." Eiko whispered. "I mean . . . how in the name of all the GODS did I get stuck alone with YOU?!" she glared up menacingly at Amarant. He grabbed her head in one hand like she was nothing and shoved the Summoner away.
"Pipe down, pipsqueak . . ."
"You pipe down you . . . you . . . you big fat rolling thing!"
If he hadn't been the infamous Flaming Amarant, he probably would have laughed. "What the HELL does that mean?"
"I don't know!" Eiko swiped a fist at the bandit as she bounced and bumbled along behind his loping form.
"Just shut up," Amarant snapped. "We've got a planet to save and a coupla geonomes to pummel . . . If we get there ahead of the others I can bash Garland's face in before they come,"
"Oh is THAT what this is about?" Eiko squeaked angrily. "Getting to the finish line ahead of everybody else?!"
Amarant clearly wasn't listening. ". . . Maybe I could tear one of his arms off . . . I mean, we don't even know if he actually BLEEDS . . ."
"– Are you even LISTENING to me?!"
". . . Maybe I could rip his heart out . . . No, wait . . . I don't think he has one of those, either,"
"Amarant!"
". . . Heh, imagine the look on Zidane's face if he were to come and find Garland torn into a bloody carcass with me standing triumphant over him . . . Zidane would probably kill himself!"
"AMARANT!!!"
"WHAT?!"
". . . We're in trouble,"
Eiko's shrill cry was drowned in the darkness before it could reach the ears of her faraway comrades . . .
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"Do you think this is safe?" Garnet glanced anxiously at Steiner. The elder knight chuckled as the "clank-clank" of his armor reverberated across the passage-way.
"I'm sure the others can handle themselves . . ."
"But our most powerful member is, er . . . kind of, um . . . dead," Garnet tasted the word like it was bitter on her tongue. "And some of the pairings . . . I don't know . . ."
"Whatever do you mean, Your Majesty?"
Garnet coughed delicately. "Well, um . . . Gee . . . I mean, do you honestly think sticking Amarant and Eiko together was a, erm, very good idea?"
"Well, it IS a mage and a fighter . . . And breaking into pairs and splitting up down different passageways was the only way we could attempt to find the prisoners – soul and living alike – fast enough,"
Garnet suddenly clutched Steiner's heavily steel-covered arm. "Did you hear that?"
"What?"
"It sounded like a scream,"
"Must be your imagination," Steiner smiled good-naturedly. "Wandering around in a creepy place like this can do that to one,"
Garnet still looked unsure. "Steiner, I don't like this. Maybe we should turn back,"
Steiner raised an eyebrow, laughing. "Nonsense, Your Majesty! We can handle whatever comes our way!"
"You think you can handle THIS?"
"Huh?" Steiner didn't even have time to register the quickly approaching object before it had completely engulfed him in darkness . . .
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"So they're holding your boyfriend in here, hmm?" Lani was swinging her axe back and forth calmly, doing a pirouette here and there down the hall. Freya, as was usual of the Burmecian, was staring coldly forward and ignoring the swish and swoop of the axe.
"Yes. And if even ONE hair of his head is harmed, I'll – " Freya suddenly screwed up her face. "Okay, so I don't know what the hell I'll do . . ."
"Ah, details, details," Lani smirked to herself, tanned face glowing. "I'll let you borrow my axe if you cut down all the geonomes one by one so it makes a cool, bloody mess,"
"Er . . . thanks . . . I think,"
"Make sure it's gross, too. Maybe you could, like, deliver Drakja's head on a platter to Garland or something," Lani suddenly squealed with joy. "Oh my gawd, that would be SO COOL!!"
Freya was looking wary. "What IS IT with bandits and disgusting mental images?"
"I dunno. Instinct for the kill?" The hallway was beginning to narrow. The repressive heat of the Fire Guard's battle arena was fading.
"Hey, Lani?"
"Yah?" Lani skipped along ahead but turned her head over her shoulder with raised eyebrows.
"Is it just me . . . Or is it REALLY dark in here?" Lani had, by now, completely evaporated from Freya's sight into the empty void of black.
"Well, I guess we can't expect ALL of the Fire Shrine to be lit," drifted the bandit's voice from the darkness.
Freya clutched her spear, whiskers twitching. "Something's not right . . . Lani what do you – " Freya suddenly stopped, feeling the pit of her stomach turning over with fear. "L-Lani . . .?"
There was no response. Freya twisted her claws around the spear anxiously. "L-Lani, where are you?"
Nothing. The hairs on the back of Freya's neck were bristling. She narrowed her green eyes, a typically suppressed growl curdling in the back of her throat.
/That smell . . . Could it be . . .?/
What it was it could be never entered Freya's mind. By then the world had gone black . . .
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"Vivi, this is really scary!" Megan whispered urgently as they trekked along the dark corridor.
"Ah-I a-agree!" Vivi was shaking like a leaf.
"D-did I ever tell you I was claustrophobic?"
Vivi stopped dead. "R-really? M-me too . . . Wait. That's not good. We're in a tiny corridor . . . alone . . ."
There was silence. Neither Megan nor Vivi dared to breathe. Then . . .
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They each let out a cry like a wounded, possibly strangled banshee and clutched each other, Megan forced to stoop down to Vivi's tiny height as they trembled with fear.
"Vi-Vivi, did I ever tell you I thought you were adorable?"
"N-no . . . th-thank you . . ." The two shivered, eyes clenched tightly shut.
A menacing voice suddenly arose from the darkness. ". . . Oho . . . What do we have here?"
Megan gulped and glanced down at Vivi. They each uttered a mutual sound of distress:
"Meep!"
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"Zidane, how much time do we have?" Beatrix was running her fingers up and down the sheathe of her sword nervously.
"He's barely alive," Zidane muttered. "We've got maybe two hours . . . Probably less . . ."
"That – is – not – good,"
"Gee, no kidding," Zidane grunted and shifted Kuja's limp body over his shoulder. "Damn, you know, it's a good thing Kuja's a pansy who's obsessed with his appearance . . . Otherwise my arm probably would've fallen off by now . . . I mean, he weighs about as much as a freaking feather . . ."
"How appropriate . . ." Beatrix smirked slightly, liking the calmer change in atmosphere and quietly thanking Zidane for it. "And a wonderful use of alliteration as well, if I do say so myself,"
"Why, thank you, General Beatrix," Zidane chuckled, putting on a noble air. "It was most poetic. Simply spiffing,"
"Gimme a break . . . Any stupid genome can string two words together,"
The general and Zidane whipped around at the sound of the voice. But there was no mysterious apparition from the darkness or even a mocking reverberation from the walls. It had to be the most blatant back attack in history. Drakja was literally standing right there in the middle of the hallway, scrutinizing Zidane and Beatrix with his glittering, emerald eyes.
"Aw man!" Zidane whined. "What do YOU want?"
"Maybe a little more caution on your parts," Drakja mocked. "I've been following you both around for nearly ten minutes. I thank you, Angel of Death. Now I know how long Kuja has before the limit robs that shell of a body of its life,"
"Oh, and just what are you going to do with that information?" Beatrix folded her arms across her chest, raising an eyebrow.
"Why, keep you busy for more than two hours, of course," Drakja responded as if it were the most obvious statement in the world. Zidane snorted.
"Just try it!" He carefully, yet quickly, slid Kuja off his shoulder and onto the side of the hallway before bracing himself. "I'm not going soft on you this time, Drakja!"
"Like I said before . . . You know, that day I 'killed' Kuja: our fight isn't over. I'm not going soft either . . . In fact, I'm going to make sure you're not living by the time this little rendezvous is over," Drakja's eyes were narrowed into slits.
"Yeah, but this time you're gonna have to deal with ME too!" Beatrix snarled, wrenching her sword violently from her belt. Drakja was grinning a bit too widely for Zidane's liking.
"Oh, I'm not worried about that . . ."
"You should be!" Zidane suddenly came from nowhere, his daggers aimed straight at Drakja's head. "'cause it's going to be the death of you!"
Drakja hurriedly parried, slinging a sword from his sheathe and catching the twin daggers with a loud clang. Then he forced Zidane's arms backward and lunged into him. Beatrix hurriedly swiped at Drakja who vanished with a pop.
"Oh lord, not THIS again!" Beatrix heaved a sigh, clenching and unclenching Save the Queen as the couple waited for Drakja to reappear. Beatrix frowned.
"Zidane, is he able to disappear for this long?"
"I-I don't know . . ."
Drakja cackled, appearing out from nowhere and kicking Beatrix so hard in the back of the legs that she fell forward with a cry. There was a spurt of blood but Zidane was too shocked enraged to see what weapon Drakja had used. A mistake he would later regret.
"You bastard!" Zidane rushed forward, daggers glinting even in the gloom of the corridor. He'd expected Drakja to counter, but instead . . .
"Hah, gotcha!"
Zidane suddenly felt a pair of powerful arms grab him painfully around the neck, practically forcing him to his knees. He gasped, shocked, as Drakja pulled the genome into a violent head-lock.
"H-hey! Wh-what are you doing?!"
Zidane glanced around desperately for Beatrix. Her body was still collapsed on the floor. She wasn't moving . . .
"Wh-what did you DO to her?!"
"Just another one of the many beautiful uses for my gun," Drakja crooned into Zidane's ear. "I stopped her soul, just temporarily. She'll be unconscious for the next several minutes . . . Which is all the time I need . . ."
"T-to do WHAT?!" Zidane struggled desperately but Drakja was too strong. The grip around his neck tightened and the genome choked, knowing immediately that he was pushing his luck. The geonome was DEFINITELY stronger this time. The rage that fueled the man on became apparent in a matter of moments.
"You know, Zidane . . ." Drakja whispered softly into his victim's ear. "That so-called 'draw' of ours was a real stab to my pride . . . And frankly, I don't like people that question my powers . . . Vengeance isn't sweet enough for me . . . Nor is your death. So I think I'm going to grant you a little favor . . . You can spend eternity . . . With your brother,"
"Wh-what?" /No . . . He wouldn't . . .!/
"You always wanted to be with him," Drakja continued to hiss. His breath was like ghostly fingers burning Zidane's face. "But you were always robbed of the opportunity. Would you like to be with Kuja again? It can be easily arranged. Perhaps it would even be easier than rescuing him . . . After all, he's just going to DIE again,"
"You SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" Zidane suddenly twisted and lunged free from Drakja's arms, practically throwing himself into the wall in an attempt to escape. Drakja didn't move from his spot, still smirking.
"Zidane, I'm not going to lose. Even YOU know that. There are certain things in this world that are just bound to happen . . ."
"Get away from me!" Zidane had scrambled to his feet and was backing away towards the wall.
Drakja was slowly unsheathing the Metsubo. "This is what you want, isn't it?" he queried. "You know, Garland gave you a really good soul. He pretends he doesn't want it, but I know he thirsts for that wretched thing as much as Kuja's . . . He doesn't want mine, of course," Jealously flashed momentarily in Drakja's eyes. "There's something wrong with it, though he won't tell me what it is . . . I'm just following orders, after all. Don't worry, this will be quick . . . and you won't feel anything because by the time the actual Metsubo withdraws from your flesh you will already be a vapor . . . a figment without conscious thought . . . Isn't that what you want?" Drakja truly looked mad. His emerald eyes were glinting with many layers of insanity.
/So that's what it is, is it . . .?/ Zidane thought, horrified. /Drakja's been jealous of the genomes after all . . ./.
"Ah . . . I'm going to rescue my brother!" Zidane shouted defiantly. "And I'm not going to die in the process!"
There was a pop and suddenly Drakja was standing beside Zidane and shoving him painfully to the ground. The ex-thief didn't even have time to react. He felt a fierce pain in his back and screamed.
"No! No! No! No!" he struggled relentlessly to free himself but knew it was too late. His skin was on fire. He could feel his very being vanishing from his body. He felt, for several seconds, a detached sensation like being drugged.
"No! No, I won't let you take my soul!" Zidane kicked out furiously but couldn't reach Drakja's gun. He was vanishing . . . dying . . . He would join his brother . . . He'd become nothing more than a mindless genome. Kuja's body would fail him . . . Garnet would probably want Zidane's soulless husk to be mercy-killed . . . He'd be together with Kuja . . . forever . . .
Zidane's soul was still enough intact that he could see. Blearily as he lay there, paralyzed on the cold, shrine floor, he could make out Beatrix. What would she do when she woke up in a few moments and found Zidane reduced to . . . to whatever he had been before Garland had granted him the gift of awareness? He saw Kuja lying several feet away, hooded, cloaked . . . dead. He'd never wake up again. There wasn't enough time. Garland would use the souls as he saw fit, Mikoto's as well, and the three Angels of Death would perish together for eternity.
/Kuja . . . No . . . I promised I'd save you . . . I swore . . . I'd return the favor!/
"I'M – NOT – GOING – TO – DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!"
Zidane's eyes rolled up into his head. Drakja, standing above him and holding the gun suddenly jerked with surprise. His fingers clenched onto the handle as if he'd been electrocuted and his hands had become positively charged to the metal.
"Nng, what . . . What IS this?!" Drakja tried to let go of the gun but couldn't. He was stuck . . . Then he shrieked in pain as the electricity ran up the nozzle. He realized seconds too late what had happened . . .
Light burst suddenly from Zidane's limp body. Rays of fierce pink and red energy exploded and rocked the chamber, throwing Drakja backwards so hard he hit the back wall with a thud and slid slowly down, shielding his eyes from the wild wind whipping the corridor. A dome-like barrier was growing around Zidane, spreading until it filled the entire hall and shook its very foundations. Drakja stared at the ever-swelling bubble with increasing fear. He knew what would happen when it touched him but he was frozen . . . Paralyzed. He closed his eyes, waiting, tensed for death.
/It doesn't matter . . ./ the geonome thought to himself. /Zidane fought off the Metsubo, but his soul was already leaving when he did . . . It's like Triss said . . . If the soul isn't completely taken, it gets lost to the Mist . . . Heh . . ./.
His hair billowed out around him, the pressure from the barrier already starting to crush his lungs. Drakja let out a strangled gasp when quite suddenly he felt icy hands grip his shoulders and a flash of silver.
Then he was gone . . .
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Nobody had ever seen Eiko pout so much in their entire lives.
"You guys too, huh?" she queried as Freya and Lani were each shoved into a dungeon cell by a group of geonomes. Lani shrieked and tried to free herself but the bars closed with a clang and a slight fizzling noise alerted the prisoners that a magical barrier had just been put up.
Freya looked around quite alarmed. "Oh my god . . . Did EVERYONE get caught?!"
Indeed it seemed that way. Every single couple that had broken off from the group was together in a cell. Steiner and Garnet in one . . . Eiko and Amarant in another. Freya and Lani had just gotten shoved into theirs. And of course, Megan and Vivi were cowering and shivering in a cell just a few feet away.
"Are we really that pathetic?" Eiko looked murderous.
"Zidane and Beatrix are still amiss," came a soft voice from nearby. Freya practically threw herself into the bars before Lani leapt up and fiercely grabbed her by the tail.
"Freya! Barrier!"
"Ah – r-right," Instead Freya settled for getting down on her hands and knees and crawling as close to the bars as she could. "F-Fratley . . .?" she whispered hesitantly. From one of the cells on the others side of the dungeon she could make out her boyfriend looking very exhausted but thoroughly happy to see her.
"Freya, dear, thank Atomos . . ."
Freya let out a gasp of relief. ". . . You're alright . . ."
"Indeed," Fratley's whiskers quivered. "The geonomes realized me quite useless. But I must ask, how in the name of the heavens did EVERYONE here get caught?"
There was quite enough blushing to go around.
"Damn geonomes," Amarant grumbled. "They just snuck up on us and used their stupid Shadow-Balls to knock us out. We were completely outnumbered,"
"Same," Lani muttered. "And I take it Vivi and Megan suffered the same fate?" The frightened couple nodded soundlessly.
"We weren't," Garnet was a bright shade of red. "Steiner here got himself hit over the head with a mallet. The geonomes were correct in guessing the reverberation in Steiner's helmet would knock him out," Steiner hissed something that sounded strangely like "bastard hooligans." "And then they proceeded to Shadow-Ball me,"
"That's great," Fratley rolled his eyes. Then he replaced his sarcasm with a nervous look. "But what of Zidane and Beatrix?"
"Hey, m-maybe those two were successful," Megan looked pathetically hopeful.
"But they had Kuja with them and he probably slowed them down," Garnet pointed out.
"Yeah, and if they don't hurry Kuja's death will become irrevocable," Fratley pointed one claw in the direction of the cell across from him. The others, thanking the fact that only bars separated the cells rather than actual walls, let out gasps of surprise to see Kuja's shimmering, shadowy form slumped over in the cell beside what was unmistakably Mikoto. Mikoto flashed them a nervous smile.
". . . Is that . . .?" Eiko's eyes were the size of saucers.
"His soul," Mikoto murmured. "Vanishing quickly. Garland has to hurry up if he wants it. Very shortly it will dissipate into the Mist. Then it could take Garland years and years to find it again,"
All at once, the door at the end of the hall was kicked open so violently that it slammed against the wall with an ear-shattering clang. Inside stepped several geonomes, all of which seemed very proud of themselves about something.
The first three were carrying a very unconscious but slowly stirring Beatrix. Behind them was one geonome with Zidane slung over his shoulder like an empty sack. After them came another two geonomes carrying Kuja's body. Trailing along quietly behind were Drakja and Lulian.
"Oh shit!" Lani whispered urgently. The geonomes walked solemnly past, some throwing the prisoners haughty looks and sticking their tongues out. Then they thrust open the cell next to Garnet and Steiner and practically threw Zidane and Beatrix into it. Beatrix hit the cold ground and groaned. Zidane didn't move. He appeared to be knocked out.
"What should we do with this thing?" one of the geonomes queried, signaling towards Kuja. Lulian hesitated.
"Just throw it in the cell for now. Garland will probably want it later,"
A nod, and then Kuja was thrown rudely on top of Beatrix. Lulian was glaring at Zidane.
"Drakja, did you use the Metsubo on him?" she glanced into Mikoto's cell but didn't see a projection beside her. Drakja seemed deep in thought. Then he whispered something into Lulian's ear and she clapped her hands over her mouth.
"Oh my god!" she gasped. "Garland's going to KILL you!"
"Just shut up," Drakja growled, turning away. Lulian frowned.
"What the hell's YOUR problem?"
Drakja didn't respond as he began to walk from the dungeon, the others geonomes slowly following. The alpha-male didn't want to tell anyone why he was so aloof. But in fact, something was slowly eating away at his insides. As he stepped through the threshold and waited for his underlings to pass him, Drakja rubbed his shoulders where those cold hands had grabbed him and dragged him through the very wall to safety. He'd simply blinked, realizing he was now in a completely different room. He'd looked around for his rescuer and found no one. After that he'd simply gotten up, called over some of his comrades, and captured the Angels of Death and Beatrix.
/Whoever it was . . . he was barrier transmigratory . . ./ Drakja hesitated then gave himself a mental slap in the head. /It wasn't him!/ the geonome tried desperately to tell himself. /He's been dead for over six-hundred years and his spirit is in hiding. Just because you saw a flash of silver doesn't . . . doesn't mean anything. Besides, Saishoja wants you dead. He wouldn't just . . . He wouldn't just save your life . . ./.
Drakja shook his head furiously. "I didn't see a ghost. I didn't see . . . anything at all. Saishoja's dead,"
And that was that. Drakja, ignoring the strange looks he was getting from Lulian, proceeded to exit the dungeon.
". . . Saishoja would never save my life . . ."
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A/N: *gasp* Wh-what's that I smell . . .? C-could it be . . .? No, it couldn't! Oh, but I think it is . . . Oh, it most definitely is . . . PLOT- TWIST!!! *cheers* Man, we haven't had one of those in, like, seven chapters. So now this all poses a strange question. Is Saishoja out of hiding? Did he ACTUALLY rescue Drakja? And if he didn't, then who did? Well guess what? We don't find out until the second to last chapter!!! Nya nya nya nya nya nya! *sniffs air again* Actually, that smells like something else . . . I think it's gasoline *scritch* Heh, my apologies, I just saw the movie "The Crow" and now all those goofy lines are stuck in my head (best damn movie EVER. It even beat out the first Matrix movie for me. Now THAT is quite a feat). Oh, and guess what else? Hee. I lost my keenspace page. Yup. Had ta re-register and everything. Which means you guys aren't going to get a link for . . . WEEKS! I-It's not my fault . . . (okay, maybe it is. Shut up). I PROMISE, however, that AS SOON as the site is functional you will all have a link to go to IMMEDIATELY even if I have to post an incomplete chapter. I am dead serious about this. But till then, here's a few details on the web-comic. This is the narration (kind of like a prologue) from the first page of my web-comic:
"They say . . . "God helps those who help themselves." And maybe that's true . . . But I've found . . . that death . . . SPARES those who spare themselves . . ."
Okay, hopefully that'll tie you guys over for a few more weeks *sweatdrop* I must have a death-wish . . .
. . . . . . . . . . *hugs Kuja88*
Kuja88: YOU – ARE – SO – WEIRD!
BMD: . . . I can't help it . . . That made my day. I was feeling pissy, I saw the review, and then I took a shower and spent the entire time washing my hair while trying to figure out a way to thank you despite, er, deleting the review (I'm sorry, but it's top-secret information, lol ^_^)
*blink* . . . . . WAH!!! *hugs Kuja88 till he/she (sorry, hard to tell gender with aliases) chokes* YOU – ARE – MY – HERO! You . . . You're so . . . smart. I mean, I KNOW I shouldn't be letting you know that you were right (bad BMD, bad!) but . . . but there was no WAY I was letting this one fly. You . . . *sniff* . . . You even provided textual evidence . . .! *bursts into tears of joy and throws arms around Kuja88 once more* Geez . . . you were EXACTLY right . . . I thought NO one would get it!
Kuja88: Gah! *tries to free self*
BMD: TEXTUAL evidence (you must have some KICK-ASS reading comprehension skills. I mean, it's like you were reading my mind!). *Releases Kuja88* Here's what I intend to do. Ahem. There is NO WAY I could possibly keep that review open to the public (though I'm a firm believer in never deleting reviews). So here's what I'm a gonna do for you. I copied and pasted the review into IT'S OWN PERSONAL DOCUMENT ENTITLED "KUJA88 REVIEW" and after the epilogue (when your beautifully predicted information is revealed) I'm going to review my own fic with a copied and pasted copy of what you said (with a note even showing when you reviewed etc.) to show how SMART you are!!! Oh, and I think this deserves a little reward, kehe. In keeping with your request (and many other reviewers', I'm sure) . . .
BMD: *stops kicking Garland repeatedly with Triss's spiked boots, grin* Hi Garland.
Garland: *cowering*
BMD: *scary smile* . . . . . . . . . . . THIS IS FOR KUJA88 AND ALL MY FAITHFUL READERS!!! . . . . . . *kick*
Garland: *rolls over and dies*
Readers: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
BMD: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *hugs Kuja88 again*
Kuja88: HEEEEEELP!!!
Drakja: *stares at dead body* . . . Oh, no *sniffle*
BMD: *shrugs, kicks Drakja as well*
End of Pre-A/N.
REAL A/N: This chapter's kinda funny. I dunno why, but the whole thing (well, the beginning at least) is intended to be something of a goof-off on my part. I was REALLY bored and I wanted to stick a little humor into this fic, so . . . yeah, this is the result. At least five pages of sheer ridiculousness and then it's time to commence with our usual torture (what is that from . . .? "Center Stage"? Gah, I can't remember). This is actually a pretty cool chapter. It's another one of those "Zidane kicks ass" chapters. Kuja's still, er, out of commission . . . But expect him to have something of a part soon. Just . . . don't expect it to be what you think. Things are going to be miserable for the characters for several more chapters now. Waha. And just a little warning . . . THIS ONE'S A CLIFFHANGER!!! Whoo Hoo!
Disclaimer: I'm not Japanese, so I could never own Final Fantasy. NEVER!!! *twitch*
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"And I say I am dead, and I move."
– Eric Draven, "The Crow"
"How . . . how did this happen . . .?"
"I . . . I don't know . . ." Eiko repressed a sob. "Th-this . . . this is HORRIBLE!"
"This is the most traumatic experience of my life,"
"Perhaps death IS merciful . . ." Eiko whispered. "I mean . . . how in the name of all the GODS did I get stuck alone with YOU?!" she glared up menacingly at Amarant. He grabbed her head in one hand like she was nothing and shoved the Summoner away.
"Pipe down, pipsqueak . . ."
"You pipe down you . . . you . . . you big fat rolling thing!"
If he hadn't been the infamous Flaming Amarant, he probably would have laughed. "What the HELL does that mean?"
"I don't know!" Eiko swiped a fist at the bandit as she bounced and bumbled along behind his loping form.
"Just shut up," Amarant snapped. "We've got a planet to save and a coupla geonomes to pummel . . . If we get there ahead of the others I can bash Garland's face in before they come,"
"Oh is THAT what this is about?" Eiko squeaked angrily. "Getting to the finish line ahead of everybody else?!"
Amarant clearly wasn't listening. ". . . Maybe I could tear one of his arms off . . . I mean, we don't even know if he actually BLEEDS . . ."
"– Are you even LISTENING to me?!"
". . . Maybe I could rip his heart out . . . No, wait . . . I don't think he has one of those, either,"
"Amarant!"
". . . Heh, imagine the look on Zidane's face if he were to come and find Garland torn into a bloody carcass with me standing triumphant over him . . . Zidane would probably kill himself!"
"AMARANT!!!"
"WHAT?!"
". . . We're in trouble,"
Eiko's shrill cry was drowned in the darkness before it could reach the ears of her faraway comrades . . .
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"Do you think this is safe?" Garnet glanced anxiously at Steiner. The elder knight chuckled as the "clank-clank" of his armor reverberated across the passage-way.
"I'm sure the others can handle themselves . . ."
"But our most powerful member is, er . . . kind of, um . . . dead," Garnet tasted the word like it was bitter on her tongue. "And some of the pairings . . . I don't know . . ."
"Whatever do you mean, Your Majesty?"
Garnet coughed delicately. "Well, um . . . Gee . . . I mean, do you honestly think sticking Amarant and Eiko together was a, erm, very good idea?"
"Well, it IS a mage and a fighter . . . And breaking into pairs and splitting up down different passageways was the only way we could attempt to find the prisoners – soul and living alike – fast enough,"
Garnet suddenly clutched Steiner's heavily steel-covered arm. "Did you hear that?"
"What?"
"It sounded like a scream,"
"Must be your imagination," Steiner smiled good-naturedly. "Wandering around in a creepy place like this can do that to one,"
Garnet still looked unsure. "Steiner, I don't like this. Maybe we should turn back,"
Steiner raised an eyebrow, laughing. "Nonsense, Your Majesty! We can handle whatever comes our way!"
"You think you can handle THIS?"
"Huh?" Steiner didn't even have time to register the quickly approaching object before it had completely engulfed him in darkness . . .
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"So they're holding your boyfriend in here, hmm?" Lani was swinging her axe back and forth calmly, doing a pirouette here and there down the hall. Freya, as was usual of the Burmecian, was staring coldly forward and ignoring the swish and swoop of the axe.
"Yes. And if even ONE hair of his head is harmed, I'll – " Freya suddenly screwed up her face. "Okay, so I don't know what the hell I'll do . . ."
"Ah, details, details," Lani smirked to herself, tanned face glowing. "I'll let you borrow my axe if you cut down all the geonomes one by one so it makes a cool, bloody mess,"
"Er . . . thanks . . . I think,"
"Make sure it's gross, too. Maybe you could, like, deliver Drakja's head on a platter to Garland or something," Lani suddenly squealed with joy. "Oh my gawd, that would be SO COOL!!"
Freya was looking wary. "What IS IT with bandits and disgusting mental images?"
"I dunno. Instinct for the kill?" The hallway was beginning to narrow. The repressive heat of the Fire Guard's battle arena was fading.
"Hey, Lani?"
"Yah?" Lani skipped along ahead but turned her head over her shoulder with raised eyebrows.
"Is it just me . . . Or is it REALLY dark in here?" Lani had, by now, completely evaporated from Freya's sight into the empty void of black.
"Well, I guess we can't expect ALL of the Fire Shrine to be lit," drifted the bandit's voice from the darkness.
Freya clutched her spear, whiskers twitching. "Something's not right . . . Lani what do you – " Freya suddenly stopped, feeling the pit of her stomach turning over with fear. "L-Lani . . .?"
There was no response. Freya twisted her claws around the spear anxiously. "L-Lani, where are you?"
Nothing. The hairs on the back of Freya's neck were bristling. She narrowed her green eyes, a typically suppressed growl curdling in the back of her throat.
/That smell . . . Could it be . . .?/
What it was it could be never entered Freya's mind. By then the world had gone black . . .
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"Vivi, this is really scary!" Megan whispered urgently as they trekked along the dark corridor.
"Ah-I a-agree!" Vivi was shaking like a leaf.
"D-did I ever tell you I was claustrophobic?"
Vivi stopped dead. "R-really? M-me too . . . Wait. That's not good. We're in a tiny corridor . . . alone . . ."
There was silence. Neither Megan nor Vivi dared to breathe. Then . . .
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They each let out a cry like a wounded, possibly strangled banshee and clutched each other, Megan forced to stoop down to Vivi's tiny height as they trembled with fear.
"Vi-Vivi, did I ever tell you I thought you were adorable?"
"N-no . . . th-thank you . . ." The two shivered, eyes clenched tightly shut.
A menacing voice suddenly arose from the darkness. ". . . Oho . . . What do we have here?"
Megan gulped and glanced down at Vivi. They each uttered a mutual sound of distress:
"Meep!"
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"Zidane, how much time do we have?" Beatrix was running her fingers up and down the sheathe of her sword nervously.
"He's barely alive," Zidane muttered. "We've got maybe two hours . . . Probably less . . ."
"That – is – not – good,"
"Gee, no kidding," Zidane grunted and shifted Kuja's limp body over his shoulder. "Damn, you know, it's a good thing Kuja's a pansy who's obsessed with his appearance . . . Otherwise my arm probably would've fallen off by now . . . I mean, he weighs about as much as a freaking feather . . ."
"How appropriate . . ." Beatrix smirked slightly, liking the calmer change in atmosphere and quietly thanking Zidane for it. "And a wonderful use of alliteration as well, if I do say so myself,"
"Why, thank you, General Beatrix," Zidane chuckled, putting on a noble air. "It was most poetic. Simply spiffing,"
"Gimme a break . . . Any stupid genome can string two words together,"
The general and Zidane whipped around at the sound of the voice. But there was no mysterious apparition from the darkness or even a mocking reverberation from the walls. It had to be the most blatant back attack in history. Drakja was literally standing right there in the middle of the hallway, scrutinizing Zidane and Beatrix with his glittering, emerald eyes.
"Aw man!" Zidane whined. "What do YOU want?"
"Maybe a little more caution on your parts," Drakja mocked. "I've been following you both around for nearly ten minutes. I thank you, Angel of Death. Now I know how long Kuja has before the limit robs that shell of a body of its life,"
"Oh, and just what are you going to do with that information?" Beatrix folded her arms across her chest, raising an eyebrow.
"Why, keep you busy for more than two hours, of course," Drakja responded as if it were the most obvious statement in the world. Zidane snorted.
"Just try it!" He carefully, yet quickly, slid Kuja off his shoulder and onto the side of the hallway before bracing himself. "I'm not going soft on you this time, Drakja!"
"Like I said before . . . You know, that day I 'killed' Kuja: our fight isn't over. I'm not going soft either . . . In fact, I'm going to make sure you're not living by the time this little rendezvous is over," Drakja's eyes were narrowed into slits.
"Yeah, but this time you're gonna have to deal with ME too!" Beatrix snarled, wrenching her sword violently from her belt. Drakja was grinning a bit too widely for Zidane's liking.
"Oh, I'm not worried about that . . ."
"You should be!" Zidane suddenly came from nowhere, his daggers aimed straight at Drakja's head. "'cause it's going to be the death of you!"
Drakja hurriedly parried, slinging a sword from his sheathe and catching the twin daggers with a loud clang. Then he forced Zidane's arms backward and lunged into him. Beatrix hurriedly swiped at Drakja who vanished with a pop.
"Oh lord, not THIS again!" Beatrix heaved a sigh, clenching and unclenching Save the Queen as the couple waited for Drakja to reappear. Beatrix frowned.
"Zidane, is he able to disappear for this long?"
"I-I don't know . . ."
Drakja cackled, appearing out from nowhere and kicking Beatrix so hard in the back of the legs that she fell forward with a cry. There was a spurt of blood but Zidane was too shocked enraged to see what weapon Drakja had used. A mistake he would later regret.
"You bastard!" Zidane rushed forward, daggers glinting even in the gloom of the corridor. He'd expected Drakja to counter, but instead . . .
"Hah, gotcha!"
Zidane suddenly felt a pair of powerful arms grab him painfully around the neck, practically forcing him to his knees. He gasped, shocked, as Drakja pulled the genome into a violent head-lock.
"H-hey! Wh-what are you doing?!"
Zidane glanced around desperately for Beatrix. Her body was still collapsed on the floor. She wasn't moving . . .
"Wh-what did you DO to her?!"
"Just another one of the many beautiful uses for my gun," Drakja crooned into Zidane's ear. "I stopped her soul, just temporarily. She'll be unconscious for the next several minutes . . . Which is all the time I need . . ."
"T-to do WHAT?!" Zidane struggled desperately but Drakja was too strong. The grip around his neck tightened and the genome choked, knowing immediately that he was pushing his luck. The geonome was DEFINITELY stronger this time. The rage that fueled the man on became apparent in a matter of moments.
"You know, Zidane . . ." Drakja whispered softly into his victim's ear. "That so-called 'draw' of ours was a real stab to my pride . . . And frankly, I don't like people that question my powers . . . Vengeance isn't sweet enough for me . . . Nor is your death. So I think I'm going to grant you a little favor . . . You can spend eternity . . . With your brother,"
"Wh-what?" /No . . . He wouldn't . . .!/
"You always wanted to be with him," Drakja continued to hiss. His breath was like ghostly fingers burning Zidane's face. "But you were always robbed of the opportunity. Would you like to be with Kuja again? It can be easily arranged. Perhaps it would even be easier than rescuing him . . . After all, he's just going to DIE again,"
"You SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" Zidane suddenly twisted and lunged free from Drakja's arms, practically throwing himself into the wall in an attempt to escape. Drakja didn't move from his spot, still smirking.
"Zidane, I'm not going to lose. Even YOU know that. There are certain things in this world that are just bound to happen . . ."
"Get away from me!" Zidane had scrambled to his feet and was backing away towards the wall.
Drakja was slowly unsheathing the Metsubo. "This is what you want, isn't it?" he queried. "You know, Garland gave you a really good soul. He pretends he doesn't want it, but I know he thirsts for that wretched thing as much as Kuja's . . . He doesn't want mine, of course," Jealously flashed momentarily in Drakja's eyes. "There's something wrong with it, though he won't tell me what it is . . . I'm just following orders, after all. Don't worry, this will be quick . . . and you won't feel anything because by the time the actual Metsubo withdraws from your flesh you will already be a vapor . . . a figment without conscious thought . . . Isn't that what you want?" Drakja truly looked mad. His emerald eyes were glinting with many layers of insanity.
/So that's what it is, is it . . .?/ Zidane thought, horrified. /Drakja's been jealous of the genomes after all . . ./.
"Ah . . . I'm going to rescue my brother!" Zidane shouted defiantly. "And I'm not going to die in the process!"
There was a pop and suddenly Drakja was standing beside Zidane and shoving him painfully to the ground. The ex-thief didn't even have time to react. He felt a fierce pain in his back and screamed.
"No! No! No! No!" he struggled relentlessly to free himself but knew it was too late. His skin was on fire. He could feel his very being vanishing from his body. He felt, for several seconds, a detached sensation like being drugged.
"No! No, I won't let you take my soul!" Zidane kicked out furiously but couldn't reach Drakja's gun. He was vanishing . . . dying . . . He would join his brother . . . He'd become nothing more than a mindless genome. Kuja's body would fail him . . . Garnet would probably want Zidane's soulless husk to be mercy-killed . . . He'd be together with Kuja . . . forever . . .
Zidane's soul was still enough intact that he could see. Blearily as he lay there, paralyzed on the cold, shrine floor, he could make out Beatrix. What would she do when she woke up in a few moments and found Zidane reduced to . . . to whatever he had been before Garland had granted him the gift of awareness? He saw Kuja lying several feet away, hooded, cloaked . . . dead. He'd never wake up again. There wasn't enough time. Garland would use the souls as he saw fit, Mikoto's as well, and the three Angels of Death would perish together for eternity.
/Kuja . . . No . . . I promised I'd save you . . . I swore . . . I'd return the favor!/
"I'M – NOT – GOING – TO – DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!"
Zidane's eyes rolled up into his head. Drakja, standing above him and holding the gun suddenly jerked with surprise. His fingers clenched onto the handle as if he'd been electrocuted and his hands had become positively charged to the metal.
"Nng, what . . . What IS this?!" Drakja tried to let go of the gun but couldn't. He was stuck . . . Then he shrieked in pain as the electricity ran up the nozzle. He realized seconds too late what had happened . . .
Light burst suddenly from Zidane's limp body. Rays of fierce pink and red energy exploded and rocked the chamber, throwing Drakja backwards so hard he hit the back wall with a thud and slid slowly down, shielding his eyes from the wild wind whipping the corridor. A dome-like barrier was growing around Zidane, spreading until it filled the entire hall and shook its very foundations. Drakja stared at the ever-swelling bubble with increasing fear. He knew what would happen when it touched him but he was frozen . . . Paralyzed. He closed his eyes, waiting, tensed for death.
/It doesn't matter . . ./ the geonome thought to himself. /Zidane fought off the Metsubo, but his soul was already leaving when he did . . . It's like Triss said . . . If the soul isn't completely taken, it gets lost to the Mist . . . Heh . . ./.
His hair billowed out around him, the pressure from the barrier already starting to crush his lungs. Drakja let out a strangled gasp when quite suddenly he felt icy hands grip his shoulders and a flash of silver.
Then he was gone . . .
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Nobody had ever seen Eiko pout so much in their entire lives.
"You guys too, huh?" she queried as Freya and Lani were each shoved into a dungeon cell by a group of geonomes. Lani shrieked and tried to free herself but the bars closed with a clang and a slight fizzling noise alerted the prisoners that a magical barrier had just been put up.
Freya looked around quite alarmed. "Oh my god . . . Did EVERYONE get caught?!"
Indeed it seemed that way. Every single couple that had broken off from the group was together in a cell. Steiner and Garnet in one . . . Eiko and Amarant in another. Freya and Lani had just gotten shoved into theirs. And of course, Megan and Vivi were cowering and shivering in a cell just a few feet away.
"Are we really that pathetic?" Eiko looked murderous.
"Zidane and Beatrix are still amiss," came a soft voice from nearby. Freya practically threw herself into the bars before Lani leapt up and fiercely grabbed her by the tail.
"Freya! Barrier!"
"Ah – r-right," Instead Freya settled for getting down on her hands and knees and crawling as close to the bars as she could. "F-Fratley . . .?" she whispered hesitantly. From one of the cells on the others side of the dungeon she could make out her boyfriend looking very exhausted but thoroughly happy to see her.
"Freya, dear, thank Atomos . . ."
Freya let out a gasp of relief. ". . . You're alright . . ."
"Indeed," Fratley's whiskers quivered. "The geonomes realized me quite useless. But I must ask, how in the name of the heavens did EVERYONE here get caught?"
There was quite enough blushing to go around.
"Damn geonomes," Amarant grumbled. "They just snuck up on us and used their stupid Shadow-Balls to knock us out. We were completely outnumbered,"
"Same," Lani muttered. "And I take it Vivi and Megan suffered the same fate?" The frightened couple nodded soundlessly.
"We weren't," Garnet was a bright shade of red. "Steiner here got himself hit over the head with a mallet. The geonomes were correct in guessing the reverberation in Steiner's helmet would knock him out," Steiner hissed something that sounded strangely like "bastard hooligans." "And then they proceeded to Shadow-Ball me,"
"That's great," Fratley rolled his eyes. Then he replaced his sarcasm with a nervous look. "But what of Zidane and Beatrix?"
"Hey, m-maybe those two were successful," Megan looked pathetically hopeful.
"But they had Kuja with them and he probably slowed them down," Garnet pointed out.
"Yeah, and if they don't hurry Kuja's death will become irrevocable," Fratley pointed one claw in the direction of the cell across from him. The others, thanking the fact that only bars separated the cells rather than actual walls, let out gasps of surprise to see Kuja's shimmering, shadowy form slumped over in the cell beside what was unmistakably Mikoto. Mikoto flashed them a nervous smile.
". . . Is that . . .?" Eiko's eyes were the size of saucers.
"His soul," Mikoto murmured. "Vanishing quickly. Garland has to hurry up if he wants it. Very shortly it will dissipate into the Mist. Then it could take Garland years and years to find it again,"
All at once, the door at the end of the hall was kicked open so violently that it slammed against the wall with an ear-shattering clang. Inside stepped several geonomes, all of which seemed very proud of themselves about something.
The first three were carrying a very unconscious but slowly stirring Beatrix. Behind them was one geonome with Zidane slung over his shoulder like an empty sack. After them came another two geonomes carrying Kuja's body. Trailing along quietly behind were Drakja and Lulian.
"Oh shit!" Lani whispered urgently. The geonomes walked solemnly past, some throwing the prisoners haughty looks and sticking their tongues out. Then they thrust open the cell next to Garnet and Steiner and practically threw Zidane and Beatrix into it. Beatrix hit the cold ground and groaned. Zidane didn't move. He appeared to be knocked out.
"What should we do with this thing?" one of the geonomes queried, signaling towards Kuja. Lulian hesitated.
"Just throw it in the cell for now. Garland will probably want it later,"
A nod, and then Kuja was thrown rudely on top of Beatrix. Lulian was glaring at Zidane.
"Drakja, did you use the Metsubo on him?" she glanced into Mikoto's cell but didn't see a projection beside her. Drakja seemed deep in thought. Then he whispered something into Lulian's ear and she clapped her hands over her mouth.
"Oh my god!" she gasped. "Garland's going to KILL you!"
"Just shut up," Drakja growled, turning away. Lulian frowned.
"What the hell's YOUR problem?"
Drakja didn't respond as he began to walk from the dungeon, the others geonomes slowly following. The alpha-male didn't want to tell anyone why he was so aloof. But in fact, something was slowly eating away at his insides. As he stepped through the threshold and waited for his underlings to pass him, Drakja rubbed his shoulders where those cold hands had grabbed him and dragged him through the very wall to safety. He'd simply blinked, realizing he was now in a completely different room. He'd looked around for his rescuer and found no one. After that he'd simply gotten up, called over some of his comrades, and captured the Angels of Death and Beatrix.
/Whoever it was . . . he was barrier transmigratory . . ./ Drakja hesitated then gave himself a mental slap in the head. /It wasn't him!/ the geonome tried desperately to tell himself. /He's been dead for over six-hundred years and his spirit is in hiding. Just because you saw a flash of silver doesn't . . . doesn't mean anything. Besides, Saishoja wants you dead. He wouldn't just . . . He wouldn't just save your life . . ./.
Drakja shook his head furiously. "I didn't see a ghost. I didn't see . . . anything at all. Saishoja's dead,"
And that was that. Drakja, ignoring the strange looks he was getting from Lulian, proceeded to exit the dungeon.
". . . Saishoja would never save my life . . ."
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A/N: *gasp* Wh-what's that I smell . . .? C-could it be . . .? No, it couldn't! Oh, but I think it is . . . Oh, it most definitely is . . . PLOT- TWIST!!! *cheers* Man, we haven't had one of those in, like, seven chapters. So now this all poses a strange question. Is Saishoja out of hiding? Did he ACTUALLY rescue Drakja? And if he didn't, then who did? Well guess what? We don't find out until the second to last chapter!!! Nya nya nya nya nya nya! *sniffs air again* Actually, that smells like something else . . . I think it's gasoline *scritch* Heh, my apologies, I just saw the movie "The Crow" and now all those goofy lines are stuck in my head (best damn movie EVER. It even beat out the first Matrix movie for me. Now THAT is quite a feat). Oh, and guess what else? Hee. I lost my keenspace page. Yup. Had ta re-register and everything. Which means you guys aren't going to get a link for . . . WEEKS! I-It's not my fault . . . (okay, maybe it is. Shut up). I PROMISE, however, that AS SOON as the site is functional you will all have a link to go to IMMEDIATELY even if I have to post an incomplete chapter. I am dead serious about this. But till then, here's a few details on the web-comic. This is the narration (kind of like a prologue) from the first page of my web-comic:
"They say . . . "God helps those who help themselves." And maybe that's true . . . But I've found . . . that death . . . SPARES those who spare themselves . . ."
Okay, hopefully that'll tie you guys over for a few more weeks *sweatdrop* I must have a death-wish . . .
. . . . . . . . . . *hugs Kuja88*
Kuja88: YOU – ARE – SO – WEIRD!
BMD: . . . I can't help it . . . That made my day. I was feeling pissy, I saw the review, and then I took a shower and spent the entire time washing my hair while trying to figure out a way to thank you despite, er, deleting the review (I'm sorry, but it's top-secret information, lol ^_^)