Usual disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. I am merely torturing the boys
for a while.
I also do not own the Twilight Zone, all though sometimes it feels like I
am stuck there as well.
TV Land
In the beginning, there was darkness, and it was good. A low hum permeated the heavens and there was suddenly light. This too was good. What was not so good was the reception. The TV screen was all wavy and out of focus. Duo gave the set a good thump. Nothing seemed to happen.
"Hey Heero, do you know anything about TV's?"
"They rot your brain," Heero replied curtly.
Duo threw Heero his best pout. "C'mon, be a pal, TV Land is having a marathon of 20th century programming. You know it will keep me quiet for hours."
"Very well. I'll help you rot your brain just this once, so that maybe I can get my reports done and get to bed before midnight."
"All right," Duo cheered. "You're the best."
Heero walked over the back of the TV and flipped open the access panel. With a grunt, he began fiddling with the receiver inside, hoping he could boost the reception. He could tell what type of progress he was making by the type of squeals or moans his partner made.
"Almost there, just a little more . . . " Duo's rapt voice coaxed.
Unfortunately, that was the exact moment the other three pilots decided to come storming into the room. The sudden noise made Heero flinch and threw the picture out of whack once more. Duo wailed in lament.
"Aww man, it was almost perfect Heero," Duo moaned.
Wufei cocked an eyebrow at the pair, "Are we interrupting something important?"
"I'll say you are," Duo grumbled, "you're interrupting my classic TV fest."
"Classic and TV are two words that should never go together," Quatre quipped as he sat on the couch. "It is a word best used to describe art, not pop culture."
"TV is art," Duo declared climbing atop his righteous soap box. "Why I defy you to name one show that lacks taste and culture."
"For Love or Money," Trowa stated flatly.
"Temptation Island," Quatre offered.
"American Idol, " Wufei grimaced.
"Fear Factor," Heero grunted.
"OK, OK, even I have to admit that reality TV was not the height of culture, but why dismiss the entire genre because of one bad marketing idea. I bet if you sat and watched some of these gems from the 20th you would change your opinion."
"I doubt it," Wufei said scornfully.
"If it's not too much trouble," Heero said with just a hint of sarcasm, "I could use a hand with this TV. Duo has promised me a quiet evening if I could get the idiot box working for him, and believe me, Duo and quiet are two words that are almost impossible to get together. I almost had it working when you three came in and set me back ten minutes. The least you could do is help me fix the damage."
"I have to admit you got me there," Quatre shrugged, "I didn't think he came with a mute button."
"It is only just that we help undo this wrong," Wufei said rising.
"Duo . . . silent, this is something I would have to hear to believe," Trowa added joining the others.
Heero took up his post once more behind the TV. Wufei took command of the tool box keeping one hand near it and the other near Heero to receive any unwanted tools. Trowa and Quatre took up positions on either side of the TV and took hold of the dish the rested on top. Duo sat and watched with childlike fascination the four pilots working in sync like a well oiled machine.
"Hey if this was a TV show, something funny would happen right now." he said with a mischievous grin.
Now, it is a well known fact that one should never tempt fate. Duo's untimely pronouncement set into motion one of the great cosmic jokes that is still laughed about in certain circles today. You see, space maybe infinite, but its tolerance for boredom is not. So sometimes when some fool cooks up with some silly what if scenario like; What if some planet far away was unstable and exploded and it's sole survivor got some kind of super power from our Sun, or What if a mediocre actor from Austria runs against a governor that no one likes and gets him kicked out of office; the cosmos takes an interest. Sometimes the cosmos decides: OK, let's see what would happen. This is what is known as tempting fate.
So here we have four well meaning guys around a malfunctioning TV, each guy has more technical know-how then an engineer. The fifth member of the group spits out the what if that is so ludicrous, that it might provide the cosmos a little entertainment. It was simply too good a situation to pass up. Each of the four was too engrossed in trying to fix the set to notice the slight shimmer that surrounded them. Duo, on the other hand, did.
"Hey guys, something funny is going on," he said uncertainly.
"Yeah, we're doing all the work and you're just sitting there offering criticism," Wufei reprimanded. "Don't you think that helping us might be the smart thing to do?"
"Heero . . ."
"I'm busily fixing the TV, Duo," Heero scolded.
"Quatre . . . Trowa, surely you must see . . ." Duo stammered.
"That Wufei is right?" Trowa replied.
"You truly are being something less then helpful?" Quatre added.
"Actually I was referring to that . . . "
A bright flash filled the room and the world lost all its color. A man stepped out onto the gray background, his suit and tie as impeccable as his accent.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. What you are about to see is a land beyond sight and sound. A land where reality is not exactly what is seems. A land called: the TV Zone. Tonight I'm pleased to bring you five young boys, each amazing in their own way. They have been brought here by a silly boy's obsession with old television programs, and a bored cosmos looking for a few laughs on a Friday night. Our first show is set, appropriately enough, in my dimension."
The world goes black for a brief moment, and then comes back in vivid black and white. It is the interior of an airplane. It's passengers are sitting motionless, as if awaiting their cue to move. Our intrepid narrator from the previous paragraph continues his narration in his best deadpan voice.
"Picture, if you will, an average commercial plane trip. Just one of hundreds of trips through the airy heights bringing weary passengers a little closer to home. Tonight's flight is the exception, for tonight we have on board five young men, who have a date with, The Twilight Zone."
The camera zooms in on Duo Maxwell, looking out of the airplane window.
" . . . that guy on the wing of our plane," Duo said finishing his sentence.
He stopped short at that statement, and took a quick inventory of himself and his surroundings. Plane . . . check, sport coat and tie . . . check, distinctive lack of color anywhere to be seen . . . check. Carefully he rubbed his eyes and looked outside again. Man on wing with oversized pants and an umbrella poking around engine #3 . . . check. All right, it was official, he was losing all touch with reality. He turned to man sitting next to him with his head buried in the paper.
"Pardon me sir, but do you happen to see a man out on our wing with a small pointed umbrella and oversized pants poking around at our engine?" Duo asked with a strained voice.
"No," replied a strangely familiar voice.
"But you haven't even looked yet," Duo protested
"I'm not planning on looking either," the man's voice said with a hint of annoyance.
"But you have to look, I need to know if I'm sane or not," Duo wheedled.
"If you are seeing a man on the wing of an airplane in flight, I would think it's safe to say you are not visiting the realm of sanity."
"I know that tone, it's you, isn't it Heero Yuy?" Duo asked a sense of relief creeping into his voice as he drew the shade on the window.
"Yes Duo, I thought you would have recognized the tone of my voice by now. I certainly haven't forgotten yours," grunted Heero turning the page of his paper.
"If you knew it was me then why didn't you bother to look out the window when I asked you to Heero?"
"Because I know I was definitely not reading the paper a few moments ago. I was fixing our television set so you could watch TV. Now I'm wearing clothing that I don't own, reading a paper that I don't recognize and wondering what the hell is going on. If I look out your window to see this 'man,' then I will be forced to admit that I am, indeed, somewhere I have no right to be. Denial is easier if you don't have all the facts in front of you."
"In-justice," came the horrified cry from somewhere behind them.
"It's Wufei, " Duo cried happily, "He must be here too!"
"I have no idea what you are talking about," Heero grunted. "We are all still in the apartment."
Marching up the hallway was the funniest looking sight Duo had ever seen. It was Wufei. He was dressed in a cute two-piece blouse and skirt set, matching pumps, and Duo noted with a smirk, nylons. A scarf was tied fetchingly about his neck and a little cap with a plastic pair of wings pinned to it was perched at a jaunty angle on his head. His name badge read Woofie, head stewardess. It had to be the funniest thing he had seen in a quite a while. Duo giggled as Woofie noted the braided boy's stare. Wufei looked somewhat less then amused as he stormed towards the two of them.
"Best watch out Heero, this stewardess looks like a real ball breaker," Duo giggled as he sat down again.
Heero did his best to ignore the bouncing baka sitting next to him. He tried to turn to the next page when someone snatched the paper from his grasp. Heero turned to see who took his last line of defense, only to wish he had it back once more.
"Maxwell, what in the name of creation have you done to me?" Wufei demanded in a feral tone, brandishing Heero's paper at the braided boy. "I am dressed like some weak onna, and three separate men fondled me while I walked from the back of this plane to the front. I don't know how you did this, but I know somehow you did it."
"Wufei, I'm glad you're here, I want you to see something." Duo said sliding the window shade up.
The face that filled the window was horrible in the extreme. Half of it was ghostly white with a horrific smile, seemingly fixed there with some evil purpose, the other side looked, well, it looked a lot like a very windblown Trowa. In fact, Duo realized, the other side of Trowa's face was covered by that circus mask he liked to wear while performing.
"What the hell are you doing out on the wing Trowa?" Duo asked incredulously.
"Baka," Heero scolded, tearing his gaze from Wufei. "If that is Trowa on the wing, he sure as hell can't hear you."
"Yeah," Duo countered lamely, "Well, I was counting on his ability to read lips."
"Can you read lips?" Heero asked.
"Well... no," Duo admitted.
"Then why do you always expect everyone else to?"
"Because I think it is a very useful talent that everyone should know," Duo stated matter of factly. "I plan to learn just as soon as I can find the time to take classes.
Heero rolled his eyes and turned back to Wufei, "Chang, you look . . . cute?"
"In-justice," Wufei roared and stormed off towards the cockpit.
"If it makes you feel any better Heero, I thought he looked pretty good in that getup myself. I'm kind of envious of the guys who got the cheap feel back in coach."
"You are a sick man Duo," Heero said shaking his head. He turned back to the window. Trowa was back out at the engines poking at them with the umbrella again. "If it makes you feel any better, I see Trowa on the wing too."
Duo was lost in his own train of thought muttering to himself, "If Trowa is on the wing, Heero and I are in First Class, and Wufei's in drag, then that can only mean one thing ... Quatre must be here somewhere!!"
The last sentence was barely out of his lips when a familiar voice came over the PA, "Attention passengers, we seem to be experiencing some troubles with the number three engine. We will be making an emergency landing at . . . "
"Did you hear that Heero? That was Quatre. He must be flying the plane. Isn't that great? We are all here safe and sound. . . . Heero what's wrong?"
Heero's face had gone ashen as watched Trowa, "He's trying to bring this plane down, isn't he?"
"Well duh, that's his job," Duo said rolling his eyes. "If he's having engine problems what else do you expect him to do?"
"He is trying to kill us all . . ." Heero continued murmuring, ignoring the babbling Duo
"C'mon now, you and I both know that Quatre's a better pilot then that Heero."
"I have to stop him before he kills us all. I have to stop him, I have to."
"I never realized that you had so little faith in his piloting, I guess he is only a mediocre pilot compared to us, but still, this is no Gundam Heero," Duo said casting a grin towards Heero's seat. "How hard could flying this relic be?"
He was answered by silence a blast of decompression as the cabin's air pressure began to drop.
Duo shrugged, "I guess you were right after all, he really is a bad pilot."
He turned to see where Hero was, only to find him several rows back in an emergency harness trying to aim his gun out the recently opened emergency exit at something on the wing. Duo paused as a light went on inside his head.
"Oh I get it! It was Trowa! You meant Trowa was trying to kill us, "Duo shouted smacking his head with the heel of his hand. "Boy do I feel stupid. I totally should have picked up on that one."
At that moment Wufei came staggering down the aisle headed towards Heero who has firing his gun into the howling void. Duo moved into Heero's seat as Wufei passed and he slid to his feet to join him. The two of them made it halfway back when Wufei stopped suddenly and turned to glare at Duo.
"It wasn't me!" Duo protested, "It was that pervert there," he said pointing at a priest sitting beside a row of nuns.
Wufei shook his head and continued forward. With a coy smile, Duo continued close behind. Suddenly the wind stopped and Wufei fell backwards on top of Duo. Duo fell back too but not before he managed to strategically place his hands in the optimal location for catching the falling pilot.
"Maxwell!!" Wufei growled
"Hey, you fell on me remember? I was just trying to catch you and break your fall. Hey why to you suppose the wind stopped?" Duo asked trying to change the subject.
"Because I closed the door," Heero said stepping over them.
"Did you get him?" Duo asked.
"No, the little monkey was too fast to me," Heero growled, "and besides the wind kept throwing off my aim."
"Good for Trowa, I always liked him," Duo grinned.
"This is the Captain speaking, "Quatre's voice came over the loud speakers, "We here at Winner Air would like to apologize for that spot of decompression, and would like to further remind passengers that the doorways are to be used by the flight attendants only. Please refrain from taking in any more 'fresh air' as it is disturbing to the rest of the passengers. Thank you."
"God Quatre is smooth. Don't you think so Woofie?"
"You will remove your hands this instant or I . . . "
The scene froze as the narrator steps out without so much as a hair out of place.
"We leave you with this 'touching' scene and a small reminder. When flying high up in an airplane, there is no such thing as fresh air, although there is such a thing as fresh passengers. Thank you all, and goodnight."
Stay tuned next week when Quatre says, "My God Trowa, it's the biggest one I've ever laid my hands on."
TV Land
In the beginning, there was darkness, and it was good. A low hum permeated the heavens and there was suddenly light. This too was good. What was not so good was the reception. The TV screen was all wavy and out of focus. Duo gave the set a good thump. Nothing seemed to happen.
"Hey Heero, do you know anything about TV's?"
"They rot your brain," Heero replied curtly.
Duo threw Heero his best pout. "C'mon, be a pal, TV Land is having a marathon of 20th century programming. You know it will keep me quiet for hours."
"Very well. I'll help you rot your brain just this once, so that maybe I can get my reports done and get to bed before midnight."
"All right," Duo cheered. "You're the best."
Heero walked over the back of the TV and flipped open the access panel. With a grunt, he began fiddling with the receiver inside, hoping he could boost the reception. He could tell what type of progress he was making by the type of squeals or moans his partner made.
"Almost there, just a little more . . . " Duo's rapt voice coaxed.
Unfortunately, that was the exact moment the other three pilots decided to come storming into the room. The sudden noise made Heero flinch and threw the picture out of whack once more. Duo wailed in lament.
"Aww man, it was almost perfect Heero," Duo moaned.
Wufei cocked an eyebrow at the pair, "Are we interrupting something important?"
"I'll say you are," Duo grumbled, "you're interrupting my classic TV fest."
"Classic and TV are two words that should never go together," Quatre quipped as he sat on the couch. "It is a word best used to describe art, not pop culture."
"TV is art," Duo declared climbing atop his righteous soap box. "Why I defy you to name one show that lacks taste and culture."
"For Love or Money," Trowa stated flatly.
"Temptation Island," Quatre offered.
"American Idol, " Wufei grimaced.
"Fear Factor," Heero grunted.
"OK, OK, even I have to admit that reality TV was not the height of culture, but why dismiss the entire genre because of one bad marketing idea. I bet if you sat and watched some of these gems from the 20th you would change your opinion."
"I doubt it," Wufei said scornfully.
"If it's not too much trouble," Heero said with just a hint of sarcasm, "I could use a hand with this TV. Duo has promised me a quiet evening if I could get the idiot box working for him, and believe me, Duo and quiet are two words that are almost impossible to get together. I almost had it working when you three came in and set me back ten minutes. The least you could do is help me fix the damage."
"I have to admit you got me there," Quatre shrugged, "I didn't think he came with a mute button."
"It is only just that we help undo this wrong," Wufei said rising.
"Duo . . . silent, this is something I would have to hear to believe," Trowa added joining the others.
Heero took up his post once more behind the TV. Wufei took command of the tool box keeping one hand near it and the other near Heero to receive any unwanted tools. Trowa and Quatre took up positions on either side of the TV and took hold of the dish the rested on top. Duo sat and watched with childlike fascination the four pilots working in sync like a well oiled machine.
"Hey if this was a TV show, something funny would happen right now." he said with a mischievous grin.
Now, it is a well known fact that one should never tempt fate. Duo's untimely pronouncement set into motion one of the great cosmic jokes that is still laughed about in certain circles today. You see, space maybe infinite, but its tolerance for boredom is not. So sometimes when some fool cooks up with some silly what if scenario like; What if some planet far away was unstable and exploded and it's sole survivor got some kind of super power from our Sun, or What if a mediocre actor from Austria runs against a governor that no one likes and gets him kicked out of office; the cosmos takes an interest. Sometimes the cosmos decides: OK, let's see what would happen. This is what is known as tempting fate.
So here we have four well meaning guys around a malfunctioning TV, each guy has more technical know-how then an engineer. The fifth member of the group spits out the what if that is so ludicrous, that it might provide the cosmos a little entertainment. It was simply too good a situation to pass up. Each of the four was too engrossed in trying to fix the set to notice the slight shimmer that surrounded them. Duo, on the other hand, did.
"Hey guys, something funny is going on," he said uncertainly.
"Yeah, we're doing all the work and you're just sitting there offering criticism," Wufei reprimanded. "Don't you think that helping us might be the smart thing to do?"
"Heero . . ."
"I'm busily fixing the TV, Duo," Heero scolded.
"Quatre . . . Trowa, surely you must see . . ." Duo stammered.
"That Wufei is right?" Trowa replied.
"You truly are being something less then helpful?" Quatre added.
"Actually I was referring to that . . . "
A bright flash filled the room and the world lost all its color. A man stepped out onto the gray background, his suit and tie as impeccable as his accent.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. What you are about to see is a land beyond sight and sound. A land where reality is not exactly what is seems. A land called: the TV Zone. Tonight I'm pleased to bring you five young boys, each amazing in their own way. They have been brought here by a silly boy's obsession with old television programs, and a bored cosmos looking for a few laughs on a Friday night. Our first show is set, appropriately enough, in my dimension."
The world goes black for a brief moment, and then comes back in vivid black and white. It is the interior of an airplane. It's passengers are sitting motionless, as if awaiting their cue to move. Our intrepid narrator from the previous paragraph continues his narration in his best deadpan voice.
"Picture, if you will, an average commercial plane trip. Just one of hundreds of trips through the airy heights bringing weary passengers a little closer to home. Tonight's flight is the exception, for tonight we have on board five young men, who have a date with, The Twilight Zone."
The camera zooms in on Duo Maxwell, looking out of the airplane window.
" . . . that guy on the wing of our plane," Duo said finishing his sentence.
He stopped short at that statement, and took a quick inventory of himself and his surroundings. Plane . . . check, sport coat and tie . . . check, distinctive lack of color anywhere to be seen . . . check. Carefully he rubbed his eyes and looked outside again. Man on wing with oversized pants and an umbrella poking around engine #3 . . . check. All right, it was official, he was losing all touch with reality. He turned to man sitting next to him with his head buried in the paper.
"Pardon me sir, but do you happen to see a man out on our wing with a small pointed umbrella and oversized pants poking around at our engine?" Duo asked with a strained voice.
"No," replied a strangely familiar voice.
"But you haven't even looked yet," Duo protested
"I'm not planning on looking either," the man's voice said with a hint of annoyance.
"But you have to look, I need to know if I'm sane or not," Duo wheedled.
"If you are seeing a man on the wing of an airplane in flight, I would think it's safe to say you are not visiting the realm of sanity."
"I know that tone, it's you, isn't it Heero Yuy?" Duo asked a sense of relief creeping into his voice as he drew the shade on the window.
"Yes Duo, I thought you would have recognized the tone of my voice by now. I certainly haven't forgotten yours," grunted Heero turning the page of his paper.
"If you knew it was me then why didn't you bother to look out the window when I asked you to Heero?"
"Because I know I was definitely not reading the paper a few moments ago. I was fixing our television set so you could watch TV. Now I'm wearing clothing that I don't own, reading a paper that I don't recognize and wondering what the hell is going on. If I look out your window to see this 'man,' then I will be forced to admit that I am, indeed, somewhere I have no right to be. Denial is easier if you don't have all the facts in front of you."
"In-justice," came the horrified cry from somewhere behind them.
"It's Wufei, " Duo cried happily, "He must be here too!"
"I have no idea what you are talking about," Heero grunted. "We are all still in the apartment."
Marching up the hallway was the funniest looking sight Duo had ever seen. It was Wufei. He was dressed in a cute two-piece blouse and skirt set, matching pumps, and Duo noted with a smirk, nylons. A scarf was tied fetchingly about his neck and a little cap with a plastic pair of wings pinned to it was perched at a jaunty angle on his head. His name badge read Woofie, head stewardess. It had to be the funniest thing he had seen in a quite a while. Duo giggled as Woofie noted the braided boy's stare. Wufei looked somewhat less then amused as he stormed towards the two of them.
"Best watch out Heero, this stewardess looks like a real ball breaker," Duo giggled as he sat down again.
Heero did his best to ignore the bouncing baka sitting next to him. He tried to turn to the next page when someone snatched the paper from his grasp. Heero turned to see who took his last line of defense, only to wish he had it back once more.
"Maxwell, what in the name of creation have you done to me?" Wufei demanded in a feral tone, brandishing Heero's paper at the braided boy. "I am dressed like some weak onna, and three separate men fondled me while I walked from the back of this plane to the front. I don't know how you did this, but I know somehow you did it."
"Wufei, I'm glad you're here, I want you to see something." Duo said sliding the window shade up.
The face that filled the window was horrible in the extreme. Half of it was ghostly white with a horrific smile, seemingly fixed there with some evil purpose, the other side looked, well, it looked a lot like a very windblown Trowa. In fact, Duo realized, the other side of Trowa's face was covered by that circus mask he liked to wear while performing.
"What the hell are you doing out on the wing Trowa?" Duo asked incredulously.
"Baka," Heero scolded, tearing his gaze from Wufei. "If that is Trowa on the wing, he sure as hell can't hear you."
"Yeah," Duo countered lamely, "Well, I was counting on his ability to read lips."
"Can you read lips?" Heero asked.
"Well... no," Duo admitted.
"Then why do you always expect everyone else to?"
"Because I think it is a very useful talent that everyone should know," Duo stated matter of factly. "I plan to learn just as soon as I can find the time to take classes.
Heero rolled his eyes and turned back to Wufei, "Chang, you look . . . cute?"
"In-justice," Wufei roared and stormed off towards the cockpit.
"If it makes you feel any better Heero, I thought he looked pretty good in that getup myself. I'm kind of envious of the guys who got the cheap feel back in coach."
"You are a sick man Duo," Heero said shaking his head. He turned back to the window. Trowa was back out at the engines poking at them with the umbrella again. "If it makes you feel any better, I see Trowa on the wing too."
Duo was lost in his own train of thought muttering to himself, "If Trowa is on the wing, Heero and I are in First Class, and Wufei's in drag, then that can only mean one thing ... Quatre must be here somewhere!!"
The last sentence was barely out of his lips when a familiar voice came over the PA, "Attention passengers, we seem to be experiencing some troubles with the number three engine. We will be making an emergency landing at . . . "
"Did you hear that Heero? That was Quatre. He must be flying the plane. Isn't that great? We are all here safe and sound. . . . Heero what's wrong?"
Heero's face had gone ashen as watched Trowa, "He's trying to bring this plane down, isn't he?"
"Well duh, that's his job," Duo said rolling his eyes. "If he's having engine problems what else do you expect him to do?"
"He is trying to kill us all . . ." Heero continued murmuring, ignoring the babbling Duo
"C'mon now, you and I both know that Quatre's a better pilot then that Heero."
"I have to stop him before he kills us all. I have to stop him, I have to."
"I never realized that you had so little faith in his piloting, I guess he is only a mediocre pilot compared to us, but still, this is no Gundam Heero," Duo said casting a grin towards Heero's seat. "How hard could flying this relic be?"
He was answered by silence a blast of decompression as the cabin's air pressure began to drop.
Duo shrugged, "I guess you were right after all, he really is a bad pilot."
He turned to see where Hero was, only to find him several rows back in an emergency harness trying to aim his gun out the recently opened emergency exit at something on the wing. Duo paused as a light went on inside his head.
"Oh I get it! It was Trowa! You meant Trowa was trying to kill us, "Duo shouted smacking his head with the heel of his hand. "Boy do I feel stupid. I totally should have picked up on that one."
At that moment Wufei came staggering down the aisle headed towards Heero who has firing his gun into the howling void. Duo moved into Heero's seat as Wufei passed and he slid to his feet to join him. The two of them made it halfway back when Wufei stopped suddenly and turned to glare at Duo.
"It wasn't me!" Duo protested, "It was that pervert there," he said pointing at a priest sitting beside a row of nuns.
Wufei shook his head and continued forward. With a coy smile, Duo continued close behind. Suddenly the wind stopped and Wufei fell backwards on top of Duo. Duo fell back too but not before he managed to strategically place his hands in the optimal location for catching the falling pilot.
"Maxwell!!" Wufei growled
"Hey, you fell on me remember? I was just trying to catch you and break your fall. Hey why to you suppose the wind stopped?" Duo asked trying to change the subject.
"Because I closed the door," Heero said stepping over them.
"Did you get him?" Duo asked.
"No, the little monkey was too fast to me," Heero growled, "and besides the wind kept throwing off my aim."
"Good for Trowa, I always liked him," Duo grinned.
"This is the Captain speaking, "Quatre's voice came over the loud speakers, "We here at Winner Air would like to apologize for that spot of decompression, and would like to further remind passengers that the doorways are to be used by the flight attendants only. Please refrain from taking in any more 'fresh air' as it is disturbing to the rest of the passengers. Thank you."
"God Quatre is smooth. Don't you think so Woofie?"
"You will remove your hands this instant or I . . . "
The scene froze as the narrator steps out without so much as a hair out of place.
"We leave you with this 'touching' scene and a small reminder. When flying high up in an airplane, there is no such thing as fresh air, although there is such a thing as fresh passengers. Thank you all, and goodnight."
Stay tuned next week when Quatre says, "My God Trowa, it's the biggest one I've ever laid my hands on."