Keeping it Safe
Chapter Eleven: Breaking Point
I slept uneasily that night. No one in the Lodging House had made a move towards Jack… or even spoken to him… but nevertheless he remained hidden in the office room down the stairs. Not even Kid Blink was with him, no, Blink stayed in the bunk room with us, sulking.
I went to bed early and tried to ignore all the bunks that had been emptied so recently. Race's new findings helped to fill the space, their excited whispers and endless questions made me smile despite my restlessness.
It was dark when Race shook me awake, his height forcing him to stand on his toes just to reach my shoulder.
"What's wrong?" I asked immediately, but he just shook his head and laughed.
"Nothing," he said. "It's time to get up."
I slid out of my bunk while Race continued waking the others up. It was morning, alright, but a thick layer of black clouds covered the city and darkened the streets considerably.
Race appeared at my side. "Beautiful day, eh?"
"Gorgeous," I mumbled before retreating to the washroom. "Say, where's Jack?" I asked the mirror as I searched for my razor.
Race's reflection frowned back at me. "Good question. Probably in his 'office,' but I haven't checked yet."
"Yeah. Why bother… let him hide."
"I guess."
My words were casual but my true feelings a little different. Yes, I could care less about Jack at this point. His recent actions were unforgivable and filled me with disgust. But somehow the thought of Swifty once again getting his way really made my blood boil.
"Snoddy?"
"Yeah?"
Race frowned again. "You okay?"
"Yeah… why?"
"You're grinding your teeth."
I hadn't even noticed. I shrugged it off and concentrated very hard on shaving without causing myself any harm. My hand was shaking like crazy. Race must have decided to ignore it.
To my left, Kid Blink stood, slouched, staring dully into the mirror. The hand holding his razor had frozen halfway to his face and was slowly dripping water. Yeah, he was lost.
Race followed my gaze through the mirror.
"Poor kid," he muttered, the scrape of blade on skin accenting his words. "He idolized Jack."
I grunted in agreement. Kid Blink's focus shifted from his reflection to the wet razor blade and he blinked a few times. I wiped off my face and gave him a friendly punch in the shoulder before leaving the room. He wasn't such a bad kid. Just… lost. Very lost.
Who isn't?
-
I shouldered open Jack's "office" door without bothering to knock. He was still there. Not knowing how to feel about this, I gave him an awkward salute.
He stared blankly at me with no answer. I decided to leave before I did anymore damage and closed the door gently behind me. Race was coming down the stairs as I was exiting. He was laughing. I felt annoyed but smiled and joined him outside.
"Selling today, I see."
"Yeah," I replied dryly. "I thought I might try it out."
"Good. Where are you heading to?"
"Dunno," I shrugged. "Lower East Side, I guess. Round those parts." Swifty's haunting grounds, and thought I didn't mention it I had a feeling that Race knew. He said nothing but nodded slowly.
The younger boys ran around and ahead of us and Race was back to his smiling self.
"Look at 'em," he said. "Remember when we were that size?"
"No," I answered truthfully. It seemed like lifetimes ago that I ran to get a place in line, only to be moved back when the older kids entered. I tried to recall some of those older boys, Gooser, Soldier, Lin. Some probably dead, others most likely dying. What had happened to them? Who know… who cared. Suddenly everything seemed incredibly pointless. Then the image of Pie-eater in a pile on the floor flashed once again into my head and my cynical view was forgotten in favor of that ill-concealed rage.
Race must have noticed the conflicting emotions on my face, he stayed quiet and thought to himself. We parted ways, him going ahead to keep an eye on the younger kids while I hung back. Clouds were beginning to gather in the section of town I was planning on heading into but I shrugged it off, figuring nothing would come of it until much later that night. I had forgotten about my experiences with New York rain.
-
I couldn't remember the last time I had only taken twenty papers. If I'd had it the way I really wanted, I wouldn't have purchased any… but I needed a front. Something to stop the questions and allow me to slip away fairly quickly. Go to Lower East Side, wander around, make no attempts to sell anything. That was my plan, but as I glanced over the day's headlines I began to have my doubts. Was I just wandering, orunconsciously looking for Swifty? I didn't want to see him, yet I felt like I needed to talk to him to make myself feel better -- to make sure that he wouldn't go after Jack, that he was truly leaving. Jack… that's what I should have done. I should've talked to Jack, convinced him to leave before it was too late for him. Then everyone could benefit - Jack would be gone for good, he's keep his life, and Swifty would go away unsatisfied.
I tucked my papers under my arm, set in my decision, and began to backtrack to the Lodging House. I ignored Dutchy's cheery "Good morning" and Race's puzzled look and walked with my head bent, feeling tired. Swifty's goddamn smirk kept running through my head, and it was getting me pretty worked up. By the time I was within sight of the Lodging House, my pace was so swift I was nearly running.
I dropped my papers on the stairs and crashed through the front door. Silence. My heart was in my throat and I could feel my head pounding, a million thoughts were running through my head as I played out the various scenes that could greet me upon opening the office door, only a few feet away now.
The door was slightly ajar but offered no glimpse into the room itself. I raised a shaking hand above the doorknob and pushed it open weakly. With a few stubborn creaks it swung fully open and I grabbed the frame to steady myself as I took in the scene.
Nothing. The room was empty. Chairs were knocked over, drawers pulled out, cabinets open wide -- but not a soul occupied the small space. I could see papers and trinkets littering the floor, but… where was Jack? And what was the deal with this mess? But I had answered the questions in my mind before I had words to express them. Swifty.
I was in the room now, looking around, bewildered, and my right hand curled into a fist to punch the table, which shook unhappily. I couldn't believe it. Swifty had done it, he had won. Now there was another body to add to his count and he could leave the city, start a new life with the knowledge that no one remained that would challenge him in any sort of way.
Right?
I looked at my hand, which was still resting on the table and beginning to ache. I looked at the table leg nearest to me, which had been half rotted for as long as I could remember. Then I took my hand and snapped the leg off at its weakest point and left the room, ignoring the table crashing down behind me. I kicked my papers off the steps and started off, this time knowing exactly what I was going out to find. I was gripping the wood hard enough to drive little splinters into my hand and I had ceased thinking clearly. For the first time in a long time, I was furious, and I wasn't going to do anything to hide it.
I only told myself this: the first person to get in my way would be the last.
Author's Note: Holy Mary, only one more chapter left? Get excited.
Reviewers… have I told you lately that I love you?
Frogger: Snoddy'll come to join you in your Jacuzzi, I'm sure.
Falconess: My Ireland! Don't worry, last chapter!Swifty should be satisfying. And I definitely have told you what a Rake is, fiend! Look in the earlier chapter shoutouts. Pbbt.
ershey: Haha, Snoddy: "Not me. Not now. Just say no." Swifty is deliciously scary, I'd say.
Gothy: We'll see, eh? -cackles-
Mis: YAY! Thanks for wandering back, lover! Thaanks for all the catching up!reviews, I must say I enjoyed them in all their incoherentness. Yes. We're almost done. Enjoy.
Flarish Roane: That's exactly the way I feel! Jack IS an ass, man, it's not just a theory. And Skittery is so much fun to write in this. I think he's slightly crazy.