Thank you to Bume for your questions and character.
Dear SiriousB1,
I've met this gorgeous elf and I'm positive this is the one, the only problem is he doesn't seem to notice any of my advances even when I've offered myself to this terrible quest to Mordor, what should I do? I don't want to ruin our precious friendship by saying something he may find unappreciated!
Yours truly,
Braids-in-the-bear-are-cute (at) Durin.dwarf
Dear Braids,
I am going to assume that you are a dwarf (God knows the phrase "Durin.dwarf" was a dead giveaway.) It is unusual for elves and dwarves to develop friendships, let alone relationships. I must congratulate you. To get him to notice you more, I suggest you bathe often using Herbal Essence shampoo and conditioner. In addition to paying attention to your physical appearance, keep a positive attitude about your relationship; be optimistic about it and hope for the best. To get him to appreciate you more, you should buy him hair and cosmetic products. I hear that elves are sticklers for beauty products…
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
Thank you to Alone in Gondor for your character and question.
Dear SiriousB1,
My guy friend has run off on some strange quest because of a dream he and his brother had. I hear that he is now traveling with a wizard, an elf, a dwarf, another guy and four little creatures that call themselves "hobbits." (I've never heard of them before and, quite honestly, the prospect that there are little people with fury feet running around is disturbing at best.) Anyway, I miss him terribly and have started to have disturbing visions of his death. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Alone in Gondor
Dear Alone,
You must go find him! If he's still alive, then you and he can go back to Gondor together and party! If he is dead, then you need to open a psychic booth in your town. Not some cheap, fraud like Ms. Cleo, but a real psychic like Genkai. (Don't ask.) And about those "hobbits"…they scare me too, but the one who saved the world with crack-filled-pens is dead sexy.
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
Dear SiriousB1,
I've met this gorgeous elf and I'm positive this is the one, the only problem is he doesn't seem to notice any of my advances even when I've offered myself to this terrible quest to Mordor, what should I do? I don't want to ruin our precious friendship by saying something he may find unappreciated!
Yours truly,
Braids-in-the-bear-are-cute (at) Durin.dwarf
Dear Braids,
I am going to assume that you are a dwarf (God knows the phrase "Durin.dwarf" was a dead giveaway.) It is unusual for elves and dwarves to develop friendships, let alone relationships. I must congratulate you. To get him to notice you more, I suggest you bathe often using Herbal Essence shampoo and conditioner. In addition to paying attention to your physical appearance, keep a positive attitude about your relationship; be optimistic about it and hope for the best. To get him to appreciate you more, you should buy him hair and cosmetic products. I hear that elves are sticklers for beauty products…
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
Thank you to Alone in Gondor for your character and question.
Dear SiriousB1,
My guy friend has run off on some strange quest because of a dream he and his brother had. I hear that he is now traveling with a wizard, an elf, a dwarf, another guy and four little creatures that call themselves "hobbits." (I've never heard of them before and, quite honestly, the prospect that there are little people with fury feet running around is disturbing at best.) Anyway, I miss him terribly and have started to have disturbing visions of his death. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Alone in Gondor
Dear Alone,
You must go find him! If he's still alive, then you and he can go back to Gondor together and party! If he is dead, then you need to open a psychic booth in your town. Not some cheap, fraud like Ms. Cleo, but a real psychic like Genkai. (Don't ask.) And about those "hobbits"…they scare me too, but the one who saved the world with crack-filled-pens is dead sexy.
Sincerely,
SiriousB1