THE HEAVENS OPEN
CHAPTER TWO
**************
Gambit looked up from his dinner when he heard the doors to the mess hall open. He adeptly returned his gaze to the soup he was eating after noting that Northstar and Jeanne-Marie had entered. He and Rogue exchanged a look after the twins asked Bobby to step out of the room with them.
The conversation then resumed as before, Storm filling in the group with information she'd learned about the planet that Freedom was approaching.
"The sensors indicate somewhere between two and three million humanoid life forms," she said, "and several billion animal life forms."
"That's much less than the seven billion humans on earth," Nightcrawler said. "What do we know of the size of the planet?"
"It's actually not much smaller than earth, but much of it is apparently uninhabitable."
"The sensors pick up some pretty large magnetic disturbances in those uninhabitable areas," Cyclops added. "Seems like there are some extreme conditions."
"Can we breathe the air on the planet?" Hector asked.
"Yes, we should be able to easily," Storm said. "The sensors indicate it's far less polluted that the air on earth."
"I suspect the air might be like the air on the Paradise Planet," Jean speculated. "That air was so clean it was almost **delicious** to breathe it. Of course An'zhina's the same way," she added quickly. Jean realized that she was almost taking the clean air for granted. 'If we ever do settle back on earth, it will be difficult to get used to again,' she thought to herself.
"Do we know anything about the level of technology the people on this planet have?" Dani Moonstar asked.
"They definitely have no warp drive, and no starships," Cyclops said. "From this vantage point, it's hard to get more specific than that. If we wanted more detailed and advanced scans, it would require a lot more dilithium than we have now, unfortunately."
"We just really don't know what we'll encounter when we get there," Jean concluded. Charlotte sat at a high chair next to Jean, and Jean spooned some more food into her daughter's mouth. Gambit smiled in the direction of both Charlotte and the other toddler, Aurora. Both girls were now fixated on their stuffed animal friends. Charlotte's pet was a bright green frog named Froggy and Rory loved her gray elephant named "Ellie." Both girls brought their pets, which had been replicated on An'zhina, with them everywhere. Froggy was sitting at the table next to Charlotte's high chair. Charlotte would insist, with words and gestures, that her mother "feed" Froggy too.
"Whatever it's like, I know we can face it," Cyclops added.
Gambit listened half-heartedly to the group's exchange, noting that with his last comment, Scott sounded a bit like a high school sports coach. But for the most part, Remy had tuned the "planet" discussion out. Not that he wasn't interested in this planet. He knew that the X-men's future largely depended on what they would encounter and experience there. But his thoughts were still with his friend Bobby. He would've loved to have been a fly on the wall during the conversation that Bobby, Jean-Paul and Jeanne-Marie were apparently now having. He looked at his wife and could tell from her expression that Rogue's thoughts were at the same place as his.
To save resources, the group no longer replicated desserts. When the meal was finished, fruit was available for anyone who wanted it. Gambit selected a few slices of kiwi and pineapple---the more bland fruits such as bananas and apples did nothing for his taste buds. The tangy kiwi danced against the roof of his mouth and by the time he had finished the last bite of it, the doors to the large room again glided aside and Northstar, Bobby, and Jeanne-Marie re-entered, along with Hank this time.
Gambit surveyed their faces. He could generally read Bobby like an open book and upon looking at his friend immediately understood that the decision had been made to "come clean" about Northstar's HIV status and tell the rest of the group. Gambit ruminated on it for a bit and decided it likely was a good decision. Though he and Rogue had not told a soul, **everyone** knew something was amiss and he knew that others had to have educated guesses as to the cause of the unrest. Northstar preferred to keep most things private, but that simply wasn't much of an option, given how they lived. `Besides, what's dere to hide? He got nothin' to be 'shamed of,' Remy thought. `'Course not everyone gonna t'ink dat way, unfortunately….'
The four---Northstar, Bobby, Jeanne-Marie, and Hank -- seated themselves at the table with everyone else. The room was silent as the four exchanged nervous looks with each other. Gambit felt time slowing down during the awkward lull. Then he sensed Jean-Paul's impatience; the speedster was tired of delaying the inevitable. He spoke. "Excuse me, everyone," he said, sounding oddly formal. "I have something that I must tell you all."
Gambit quickly glanced at the others around the table. The room was so silent now one could have heard a pin drop; even the three children were now quiet. Gambit then looked again at Bobby and felt pity for his friend. Bobby was **so** nervous right now. Gambit also saw a tiny bead of sweat on the Iceman's face. `Is okay,' Gambit thought towards Bobby, trying to send some energy his way. `You got nothin' to be 'fraid of now, Bobby. Be strong.'
"What is it, Northstar?" Storm asked. "Is something wrong?" As always, Storm conveyed warmth and caring in her voice. Gambit wondered how she always managed to exude tranquility as well.
Northstar looked down and then looked back up at the faces around the table. "We have just found out that I have tested positive for HIV." He stated it calmly and matter-of-factly. Gambit was unsurprised to see the agonized look on Bobby's face.
Though no one was surprised at this point, there were several gasps and other shocked sounds heard in the mess hall. Shaman winced as if in pain, and then got up to try to embrace both Northstar and Aurora. Gambit noted that neither of the twins seemed receptive to the condolences of their old Alpha Flight teammate.
"There is something else I want to say," Northstar began again, Gambit noting that he now sounded more like the Northstar that he knew. His voice was more than a little abrasive. "I suppose you are all wondering how I got this disease and thinking that I did something wrong. But I want you to know that I got this disease from the Friends of Humanity." Gambit observed that Northstar was looking in the direction of Cyclops as well as towards Mark, who sat on Scott's left side. "When we were last held prisoner there, they took me out of the room and they assaulted me. I want you to know that I got this virus through no fault of my own!" Northstar spoke the words with barely-restrained anger, his voice full of umbrage.
Stunned silence reigned in the mess hall. Finally, Storm spoke. "Jean-Paul, I certainly cannot speak for the group, but I care not how you contracted the disease. I do share your outrage over what FOH has done to you---- to all of us. Please let me know what I can do now to help you and support you through this. And I offer my support to Bobby and Jeanne-Marie as well."
Gambit's heart warmed. His "Stormy" was so amazing and he was always so proud to have her as a best friend. Briefly Gambit remembered a conversation he'd had a few weeks ago with Mark. The former FOH member had asked whether Gambit and Storm had ever been more than friends, since they seemed so close. No, they never had been---despite being such close friends, the chemistry to go beyond that simply had never existed. But Remy admired the Wind Rider greatly, and he knew the feeling was mutual.
Once the words were out of Storm's mouth, her sentiment was echoed by virtually everyone at the table. "I will do whatever I can to help…." "I will pray for you…." "What can I do to support you?" "I'm here for you…" etc, etc.
Charlotte frantically indicated she wanted to be taken down from her high chair. As soon as Scott set his daughter down, she toddled up to Northstar and embraced him. Northstar visibly hesitated, and then returned the hug. Gambit could tell that that gesture moved most of the hearts in the room.
"I can think of one thing you can do to that would help me a lot," Northstar said. The room quieted down again as he spoke. Gambit noticed that Bobby again had tears in his eyes. "Hank has offered to talk to the group about HIV and about AIDS. I hope you will listen to him."
Hank nodded. "I thought that it might be beneficial if I share with all of you information about this virus---specifically, how it is spread and how it is not spread, life expectancy information, an overview of the latest treatments. I know that many of you are familiar with this already, but I believe that a refresher lesson would be helpful."
"I think that would be a great idea," Cyclops said. Gambit looked at the X-men's co-leader and recognized that he was doing a decent job of hiding his discomfort. It was well known that homosexuality–-or anything pertaining to it--- was not Cyclops's favorite topic, and AIDS was still largely seen as a gay disease. But Cyclops seemed to be putting up an effort to mask his uneasiness. 'Course 'dose shades always help,' Gambit thought wryly.
"I am prepared to speak about these subjects right now," Hank said, papers in his large hands. Several moved their chairs so as to sit closer to the doctor. "When we are finished, I shall return to the infirmary," Hank continued, above the sounds of chairs being moved across the floor and people rearranging themselves. "I intend to dedicate myself to finding a cure for AIDS." Hank spoke in a concise, business-like manner; it was evident to Gambit that Hank wanted to return to his research quickly. `Course he does. He loves Bobby….If Hank has it his way, he gonna be in dat lab 16 hours a day, every day till he finds dat cure. He gonna work his fingers to the bone, gonna work till he can't see straight no more, to find dat cure.'
"Moira MacTaggert worked extensively on trying to find a cure, too," Panda added. "Once we're back on An'zhina, she can start up again."
"Our hope is that between Moira's and my research, we shall find a cure," Hank added.
For the first time, Northstar made an attempt to smile. "Do not start replicating a casket for me yet, mon ami. You know, there are some who live with this disease for years and years."
Both Jeanne-Marie and Bobby had anguished looks on their faces, and no one seemed to know how to take Jean-Paul's comment.
Hank then spoke and added, "Jean-Paul is correct. The last year that reliable statistics from earth were available, the data indicated that the average life span from the time of diagnosis to death was 9.3 years." Gambit noted that this statistic did little to cheer Bobby or Jeanne-Marie. Northstar's face was stoic again. Gambit also realized that Northstar had to have a strong advantage in that his infection was diagnosed early. Hank then asked, "Are we then ready to begin the discussion and information sharing around HIV and AIDS?"
Jean looked around the room. "What about Jubilee? She's on bridge duty right now. I'm sure she wouldn't want to miss this."
Arrangements were quickly made to patch Jubilee in through the intercom. It wasn't the ideal situation but it would have to do. With the X-men being so proximate to the planet now, the bridge could not be abandoned.
Hank then began speaking---the scenario seeming oddly like they were a high school class being given a sex-education lecture in the gym. Gambit reminded himself to listen and keep an open mind, though he knew it was unlikely that he would hear much he had not heard before.
Hank talked about HIV not being contracted through "casual contact." He said, "It is not possible to contract the virus through such things as hugging or touching, or from activities such as sharing a toothbrush, using the same toilet seat, or using the same eating utensils." He spoke of the kinds of activities that **did** open the possibility of AIDS transmission: exchange of blood or other bodily fluids, sharing needles, engaging in unprotected sex. There were few questions asked during the talk as everyone listened grimly to the doctor. Some palpable discomfort ran through the room, Gambit noted, but most were too shocked and saddened to let their embarrassment with the subject matter get the best of them.
Gambit was also impressed with the fact that for the most part, Hank avoided heavy medical jargon. He did at one point lapse into a discussion of the five different phases of HIV infection: completely asymptomatic, superficially asymptomatic, mildly symptomatic, seriously symptomatic, and full-blown AIDS. (Northstar was in the completely asymptomatic phase, Hank said.) Fortunately Beast did not mire his discussion down with a great deal of detail about these phases. Hank's tone throughout the presentation was business-like and straightforward.
When Hank was finished with his presentation, he handed out papers to everyone with the key points. Gambit saw Nightcrawler spend a few moments reading the hand-out, Sam Guthrie nervously playing with his copy, and Cyclops taking his hand-out, carefully folding it, and placing it in a pocket. Hank then thanked the group and immediately returned to the lab.
The rest of the X-men then slowly disbursed, moving their chairs back around the table, cleaning up after messy children, and moving the dishes and utensils to the washer. Conversation was minimal; most who spoke decided to do so in hushed tones.
Gambit then looked at Rogue and, wordlessly, the two approached Bobby. Bobby gave a weak smile in their direction.
"You wanna talk some more, hon?" Rogue asked. Gambit's heart nearly broke at the tenderness in her voice. Some said that Rogue's voice was rough and abrasive. Obviously they had never heard her address one she loved; to Remy, her voice was as sweet and delicious as banana bread pudding with rum. His heart twinged at hearing Rogue address Bobby in a tone she usually only reserved for Remy.
"Thanks, guys," Bobby muttered, "but I'm all talked-out today. And I wanna be with Jean-Paul."
**************
My parents never gave me much good advice or talked with me about stuff like relationships, but I do remember one smart thing my mother told me. She said, "Relationships are all about compromise." Jean-Paul and I had reached a compromise on an issue a while ago. The problem was that he often liked to sleep in his own bed whereas I, on the other hand, loved to cuddle and longed for nothing else other than to fall asleep wrapped in his arms. So the two of us needed to come up with a compromise, and we did. On those nights when he felt he wanted to sleep by himself, he and I would spend a few minutes before bedtime just holding each other, sitting together, arms wrapped around each other. It satisfied my need for affection, and when we were done cuddling, he could go back to his own bed and experience whatever it was he liked about sleeping alone.
A lot of the affection stuff wasn't really easy for Jean-Paul. He and I had finally talked about it once, though not till after his sister had given me a bit of his background and told me about his past. He'd been an loner for most of his life---everyone in Alpha Flight complained about how arrogant he was too---, until he went through a few life experiences that changed him. One of those experience was his first ever serious relationship, a relationship with a man named Philippe. Philippe is dead now; he was killed by FOH soldiers
Being open and giving didn't come naturally to Jean-Paul; I knew how excruciating this was---having to tell everyone that he was HIV positive, listening to Hank calmly explain how HIV is transmitted, seeing the shock on everyone's faces. But as much as he liked to keep to himself, Jean-Paul also had a pretty well-developed desire to do the right thing, and he knew that "coming out", so to speak, about his HIV status was the right thing.
But enough of my rambling. That evening, we were all getting ready for bed---sleeping bags were being unrolled, those who preferred cots were dressing them with blankets. Jean, Scott, and Jubilee were bundling up the three children in several layers of clothing. (Since the cold didn't impact me too much, I kinda forgot how chilly the ship was now that we turned down the temperature to save dilithium.) Before we turned in for the night, Jean-Paul and I wound up cuddling.
"Thank you for not pushing me away," I whispered. With the lights down in the large mess hall, it seemed to me that you could hear the rustlings of others even more acutely. I heard Rory prattling to her stuffed animals, Wraith snoring already, someone getting up and walking across the room.
"Thank you for being here for me," Jean-Paul said. His voice didn't carry much affection though; he sounded stiffly formal. But still, I could not complain. He held me against him tenderly.
I had nothing more to say. I'd already uttered a thousand platitudes that day ("We'll get through this," "You're still strong and healthy," "People live a long time with this disease," "It will be okay") and I knew he'd heard a thousand other cliches from the rest of the X-men. So we silently held each other for several minutes until he lightly patted my back, a signal that it was time to separate.
I slid underneath the covers of my sleeping bag, next to Jean-Paul's bag but separated by a few feet, and waiting for slumber to overtake me. I knew it wouldn't happen anytime soon and might not happen at all that night. I tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position. My stomach grumbled.
At some point during the night, I heard Cyclops return from his bridge duty shift and tap Nightcrawler awake for his turn at the helm. I remembered that I would have to thank Jubilee. She took my bridge duty shift for me before Cyke's turn, and she still had her own term in the morning, after Kurt. She wouldn't ask me to swap with her but I'd have to volunteer to take it for her. Might do me some good actually.
It was hard to believe that just about 24 hours ago, Jean-Paul and I had relieved our insomnia by heading for the bathroom and making love inside there. I knew that wouldn't happen that night, and indeed might never happen again. The more I thought of it, the more I knew that Jean-Paul would refuse to make love to me while he carried this deadly disease, no matter what precautions we took. That frantic and sloppy bout in the bathroom last night might truly have been our last. I tried to muffle my tears into my pillow.
**************
"A ship is approaching An'zhina. But it's not the X-men."
Charles Xavier sat with Moira MacTaggert and Sean Cassidy (Banshee), sipping chamomile tea one evening. The three older adults sat together in one of the smaller common areas inside the main complex of An'zhina. An'zhina was the name of the moon that the race known as the Endarians had given to the X-men, and it now served as a haven for the couple hundred mutants that the X-men had rescued from the FOH "Mutant Containment Centers."
"Is it anything ta worry about, Charles?" Moira asked, sitting forward in her seat.
"No," Charles said, shaking his head. "I sense only a handful of minds. They are confused, a little frightened, and a little….numb. But they are not a threat to us."
The decision to take this break on An'zhina had done the Professor a world of good. He normally accompanied the X-men on every trip to and from earth but had realized that he needed a rest. His bones were far less weary now and his mind back to being sharp as ever. "I won't probe beyond that," he continued. "We can find out what they want when they arrive." Charles had a suspicion, from the brief contact he'd made with their minds, that these were mutant survivors of an FOH camp. He had seen and experienced that numbed pain before, all too many times.
"Maybe they will have some news about the X-men," Banshee said. "They canna be much longer."
'Unless,' Charles thought, 'the X-men had run into unexpected troubles.' Xavier chased the thought from his mind; he'd mulled over it a thousand times and discussed it a thousand more with John and Elaine Grey. The X-men could handle whatever the universe threw at them. They would survive and return to An'zhina. However the group was already, at this point, several weeks overdue.
"Do you think, Charles, that you should take Angel up on his offer?" Banshee asked. He then reached for his pastry, filled with orangy and sugary gooiness, and took a bite. He had developed a habit of enjoying a rich dessert in the evening, despite Moira's occasional gentle nagging about it not being healthy. The sugary sweets did not prevent him from falling asleep, though Sean did note his waistline had expanded.
"I still am unconvinced that Angel's plan would be useful. It would be –--pardon the over-used analogy---like searching for a needle in a haystack," Charles responded.
Warren Worthington was the only X-man, aside from the older generation consisting of Xavier and Banshee, who had elected to remain on An'zhina. Warren's main reason for staying behind had to do with the relationship that he and Sara Grey (Jean's sister) had started up. Smarting from his painful break-up with Psylocke, Warren had eagerly sought out another woman to begin a serious relationship with, even courting Jubilee for a time. He had finally found a good match in Sara and he decided to sit out this latest mission of the X-men's, in order to spend more time with his new paramour. Sara herself was not about to leave the haven An'zhina for the cold vastness of space, not when her children and parents were safe and cozy on An'zhina.
However, when the return of the X-men was looking more and more overdue, Angel had volunteered to board a shuttle and head out into space, trying to find the X-men. But Charles had to rule out the plan as well-intentioned but futile. Space was far too vast; the likelihood of Angel finding the X-men was almost nil.
"Our best bet is to wait," Xavier continued. "The X-men will pull through. They always do."
Banshee smiled and nodded in Xavier's reaction, wishing he shared the Professor's confidence.
**************
We reached the planet the next day. We always referred to it as "the planet" as we had no idea what the inhabitants of this world called it. All we knew was that millions of humanoids lived there and "the planet" contained supplies of the precious dilithium.
The planet was the talk of the starship-----well, that and the recent diagnosis of Jean-Paul, of course, which was generally discussed in hushed whispers that abruptly stopped when I entered the room. (People must think that either I'm deaf or just really slow on the uptake.) But for the most part, the ship buzzed with questions about the planet. Would the "humanoids" on the surface look like us?, how would we get the dilithium?, what would we find when we beamed down?
As we approached the planet and moved Freedom into synchronous orbit with it, I did start getting more and more interested in what we'd find. Since the previous night, I'd been holding onto one nugget of hope. Endaria. The medicine of the Endarians had to be able to cure Jean-Paul. They could do practically anything else from what we knew of them; they had to either have a cure or have the resources to develop one. I didn't know what it would take to get Queen Marina to agree to helping us, but I knew there **had** to be a way and that we'd find it. That image of hope kept me going and even gave me a new burst of energy.
And getting back to Endaria depended on acquiring some dilithium from the planet. My interest in this place started to grow.
As Freedom edged closer and closer to beaming-down range, we talked over our options. As usual, we X-men engaged in a lively debate and discussion. The correct and moral thing to do would be to speak with someone on the planet who had some authority and ask them if we could take some dilithium. Or would it? The other side of the coin had to do with the argument that the Professor so strongly believed in….not interfering in the natural evolution of another planet, another group of humanoids. Charging in there and trying to communicate with the leaders of the planet (whoever they were) could send the populace into a panic. As someone argued during the endless deliberations, imagine if aliens from another planet had beamed down to earth a few hundred years ago and tried to talk with us, bargain for some of our natural resources—think of the alarm it would have caused had word spread. Did we have the right to mess with the natural history of the people on this planet like that? As Cyclops pointed out many times, he was sure that Professor X would say no.
Another problem had to do with the fact that it appeared as if there **wasn't** one body, one entity in charge of the entire planet. Imagine earth before the United Nations. (And even **after** the United Nations was formed, you could argue, since the UN didn't really have that much power.) You couldn't say that there was **one** governing body responsible for the whole planet.
So what were our options? More and more X-men started to advocate the following plan: beam down a small group at night, take just enough dilithium to get us back to Endarian space, and beam back up again. It was sneaky and immoral in a way, to simply take what wasn't ours, but the argument was made that trying to communicate with the inhabitants and potentially messing up their natural development was the worse of two evils. No matter how we did this, it wasn't going to be easy or smooth and either way involved interfering with the natural development of the inhabitants of the planet.
Needless to say, the group debated back and forth for a long time. I listened half-heartedly, knowing how it would turn out as always. We'd had these discussions before but it didn't change the fact that we needed to get back to An'zhina.
We decided on sending a group down to the surface of the planet and taking a supply of their dilithium. The group would take a shuttle down to the planet because it would require less dilithium than using the transporter to beam them down. Unfortunately, the distance down to the planet's surface was too far for Nightcrawler to teleport it.
Once that was decided, we then scanned the planet for an area with the following criteria: a sizable supply of dilithium and the least densely populated. Next we waited until it would be nighttime on the planet. While waiting, we discussed who would go on the "away" team.
"We don't know what kind of trouble we might run into," Cyclops said. "We need a team that is able to move fast and be on their toes."
I smirked to myself----sheesh, Cyke, what did you think we've all been doing in the Danger Room all this time, fighting against an endless supply of enemies? We're all capable of moving quickly and standing up to whatever we encounter. During the past several years, we'd done a ton of training and very little hand-to-hand fighting except for a few battles during the liberating of FOH camps. You couldn't find a group much more ready and skilled than we were. And I bet there were those who wouldn't have **minded** a little battle.
The away team chosen was a combination of volunteers and those whom Storm or Cyke suggested. These were the names selected: Storm, Gambit, Wolverine, Rogue and Nightcrawler. It seemed like a perfect team for a stealth mission, but the more I thought of it, the more I felt that someone was missing.
"I would like to go as well," I said to the group. My remark was met with looks of surprise. I think it was the first time I spoke during the entire meeting.
"I think five people should be more than adequate for this mission," Cyclops said, a little too soon after the words were out of my mouth.
"I do not think that an additional team member would hurt the mission," Storm said, more slowly and obviously considering my offer to assist. "And I think that Iceman certainly has a lot to contribute." She looked at me and added, "You've been training quite well lately, before we had to shut the Danger Room down."
"An' it may be good if we got six X-men on the mission," Gambit said. "Two can stand guard while four load up the shuttle."
I wanted to hug Remy for backing me up like this. Somehow, somehow he **sensed** that I really wanted to be on this mission.
"Alright," Cyclops said. "Six X-men it is. We'll be in beaming range within 90 minutes." I heard the purpose and direction in his voice. I knew he liked it when things were decided and a plan of action was in the works.
"And we **have** to succeed on this mission," Storm said, intensely. She held my eyes, and Gambit's, Rogue's, Nightcrawler's and Wolverine's, for several seconds each. "Dispatching the six of us in a shuttle uses more dilithium than we can spare. If we do not succeed in bringing more dilithium on board Freedom, our only choice will be to turn off our cloaking device and drift towards Endaria."
"We're gonna do it," Wolverine said, his voice echoing the vehemence of Storm's.
****************
"I can't stop thinking about her. I want her."
"For god's sake, Marrow, can you forget about her?" Psylocke muttered her typical response to Marrow. Ever since Marrow had met Dani Moonstar, she kept talking about the X-man. Psylocke was perplexed; from Marrow's account of the time the two women had spent alone, it did not exactly sound as if there had been much chemistry between the them.
"I wanna see her again. I wanna spend more time with her," Marrow proclaimed.
"Marrow, she told you she wasn't interested. Get over it." Psylocke turned her head away and rolled her eyes.
Marrow took a sharp intake of breath. Dani Moonstar was not exactly supermodel-gorgeous, but it wasn't her looks that had caught the attention of the former X-man. Not being the most introspective person, Marrow truly couldn't say exactly **why** she fixated on Dani. All she knew was that she wanted to see Moonstar again. Tedious days spent in space left her with ample time to think, to crave.
Marrow was quiet for several minutes as the two women sat on the bridge of the ship they had "reclaimed" from the Friends of Humanity. Renamed Vengeance, the ship took Psylocke, Marrow, and two women they'd rescued from FOH across the galaxy. Now calling themselves The Pirates, this group of four women had one goal: to ensnare and board FOH vessels, take whatever they wanted from the ship, and slowly torture (and eventually kill) the crew.
"Let's head back for An'zhina," Marrow said, after several moments of silence had passed.
"What??" Psylocke asked. "Head for the X-men's base??"
"Hey, last time we were there, there were three Fuckers on Heroin ships patrolling there. It's been **weeks** since we've been able to detect any FOH ships. So let's go where we **know** there are some FOH ships. I'm tired of just wandering through space, hoping we find some FOH scum."
Marrow did have a point, Psylocke would have to admit. A strong telepath, Psylocke used her powers to sniff out any FOH vessels ripe for plunder. However space was enormously vast, with warp drive allowing starships to traverse the galaxy rapidly, and the Pirates were in the middle of a long stretch of no activity. But, as Marrow said, finding FOH ships near Endaria was a fairly sure bet.
"I get the idea you got another motive for wanting a trip towards An'zhina," Psylocke said. "You're hoping Dani's there." Psylocke tried to refrain from again rolling her eyes. `I should never have told her that the X-men had a lesbian on board their ship,' she thought, regretting the mental probing of Freedom's crew she had performed a while ago.
Marrow shrugged. "Yeah. It's true. So? I bet you wouldn't mind seeing **Wolverine** again." Then Marrow grinned. Betsy had not held back in describing how much she'd enjoyed her last encounter with Wolverine.
Marrow did indeed hope that the X-men would have returned to An'zhina by now. During their last encounter with them, the Pirates had generously given the X-men enough dilithium for them to head back to that area of space….for a small price.
"True," Psylocke nodded, to Marrow's comment about Wolverine. Maybe, she thought, it wouldn't be such a bad idea. `Who knows, maybe this Moonstar chick will change her mind and go for Marrow,' Betsy hoped. Marrow's sex drive had re-blossomed (after a long period of dormancy), and it had not been pleasant for the rest of the crew of the Vengeance. Betsy was tired of detecting Marrow's eyes on her bosom, and she knew Marrow had made unwelcome overtures to the two other women on board as well. If Moonstar was back on An'zhina now and if Marrow could successfully woo her, the rest of the Pirates would certainly appreciate it.
And Psylocke **did** look forward to the possibility of seeing Wolverine again. The man was magnificent in bed, far better than Warren or really than any of her others had been. Although sex was something Betsy had decided she could live with out, she heartily enjoyed it on occasion.
Marrow looked at Betsy, knowing that her associate was considering the idea. "But mostly I'm looking forward to payback time for those FOH bastards. And now we got that agreement with the X-men," Marrow said. "They agreed not to interfere with us ever again. So even if they sense us playing with the FOH boys outside of Endaria, they can't stop us."
Psylocke nodded. "Okay. I'm game. Let's head back for Endaria."
Punching a few buttons, Psylocke changed their course. As the Pirates were not a democracy, the other two crew members were not consulted about this decision; they would simply be told later.
Marrow smiled. She couldn't wait to see Dani Moonstar again!
*********************
Hank hadn't taken part in any of the discussions regarding getting the dilithium from the planet. He hadn't even left the lab. My heart suddenly skipped a beat at the realization of what he was doing. He was slaving away in that lab, looking for a cure for AIDS, for Jean-Paul, for **me**. God I managed to take Hank for granted, always had.
"What time did you go to bed last night? And how early were you in here this morning?" I asked him as I entered the lab to say goodbye before the mission. He didn't look sleep deprived or anything like that, but….I knew he had to have been in the lab for a long time.
Hank smiled. "Do not worry about me, Bobby. You are aware of my attitude towards my work." He then went on to quote, "`The mind is its own place and in itself\ Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.'" He paused and added, "John Milton, Paradise Lost."
I didn't know quite how to react to that or what he was getting at, so I said flatly, "You would've made a great English teacher."
"Truly, Bobby, do not worry about me. My mindset is positive, as Milton would have appreciated, due to the fact that I am spending my time exactly as I want to --- trying to develop a cure for this disease."
"Thank you," I said quietly. I didn't know what else to say, so I quickly changed the topic and gave him a run down of the conversation and debate that had just taken place among the other X-men. Somewhere during my synopsis, Panda entered the lab and exchanged an embrace with Hank.
"So that's the scoop. I'm gonna shuttle down with the others as soon as we get close enough to the planet," I concluded.
"I wish you the best of luck on your mission, my friend. I know that you and the others will succeed," Hank said.
"God I hope so," I said.
Panda also wished me luck, but I could tell from her tone and the look on her face that she wanted me out of the room, so I left.
*************
Cyclops wished that he could be doing more. `Just let it go, Scott,' he told himself, echoing a phrase Jean had said to him more than once. He left the bridge as he knew he wasn't really needed there anymore. The very capable Shaman was now on bridge duty, and there was nothing that Cyclops could do to make Freedom move faster or nightfall on the planet come sooner. Those X-men who were going on the mission were preparing themselves and were all perfectly capable of doing so without any help from Scott. (Indeed, any offer of "assistance" would likely not have been received well.) Still, Scott wanted to be **doing** something more, as team co-leader.
He couldn't quite explain it, but he was very glad that he would not be going on this mission. He'd never shied away from leading dangerous missions before and was a bit perturbed at this change in his own attitude. `I'm a father now,' he thought. `That explains a lot.'
Starting to accept that he had to back off and let the others prepare on their own, Scott then made his way towards the mess hall to help Jean with keeping an eye on the kids. That was one thing he loved about parenting. Even when long, repetitive days on a starship left him with a shorter task list than he liked, the children came to the rescue. There was always **something** he could or should be doing with them, whether it be changing diapers, reading stories, or supervising playtime. Scott loved being a dad because he never again had to worry about being idle.
He smiled when he spotted his daughter. Charlotte, as well as little Aurora, was playing with the easel. The parents had placed an oversized easel in the dining room so that Charlotte and Rory could paint or draw on it whenever they pleased. Scott and Jean had borrowed many parenting books from the Endarians, and they all suggested giving the kids many creative outlets, at as young an age as possible. Scott took a seat on the floor next to Jean, and both parents watched the two young girls blissfully scrawl whatever images they wanted on the paper. Their son Christopher was napping nearby, easily sleeping through the din.
Out of the corner of his visor, Cyclops spotted the twins from Alpha Flight sitting at one of the tables and speaking to each other in French. He later noticed Bobby enter the mess hall and sit near the twins.
After some more time had passed, Charlotte and Rory began to tire and were put down for another nap. All the books stressed the importance of letting their young brains sleep so that they would have ample time to develop. Soon after the girls were slumbering, Scott got up to head for the washroom.
A communal bathroom took some getting used to; it had been many years since he'd lived somewhere with no other options. The orphanage in which Scott spent most of his childhood had uniform rows and rows of toilet stalls and shower stalls. Painful memories accompanied them; Scott remembered more than once being teased and threatened in the bathrooms. The boys room was one of the only places that the bullies could get away with making fun of the pariah of the group (Scott) as they didn't need to worry about interference from the kindly woman who ran the orphanage. Scott recalled holding it in as long as possible to avoid the dreaded trip to the bathroom. He remembered skulking down the hallway towards the feared room, apprehension eating away at his heart, as he soundlessly opened the door hoping and praying that the others weren't waiting inside to grab him.
Scott tried to chase those memories from his head. `They don't do me any good,' he told himself. Besides, it was all now so far behind him, a lifetime ago. He had a loving wife, two wonderful children, and a leadership position in the X-men. Despite being exiled from earth, he really wouldn't exchange the happiness he and Jean had found for anything.
When Scott reached the bathroom, he saw Northstar inside, washing his hands at one of the sinks. The sound of a toilet flushing could be heard. Although only taking a fleeting glimpse at the Canadian, Scott noted the deliberateness and thoroughness with which Jean-Paul washed his hands. He wasn't simply holding them under water for three seconds and then drying them; he was really **washing** them, as a doctor might before surgery. Scott silently approved; he always washed his own hands with such precision as well.
But within the next split second, Cyclops panicked. He knew that he didn't want to use whichever toilet stall Northstar had just been in. The problem was, he had no idea which stall the flushing noise was coming from.
'Take it easy,' he told himself. `Hank just said you can't get it from a toilet seat. Besides, I knew that before anyway.' But Scott balked. `There's still gotta be a lot about this disease that no one knows. What if Hank's wrong? What if I get this…..spread it to Jean or the kids??' It was too terrible a line of thought to pursue.
During the milliseconds that Scott silently debated himself, Northstar dried his hands and then promptly exited the bathroom. Scott then swiftly investigated each stall, hoping no one would enter the bathroom, until he was satisfied he found the stall that had just been used. He made sure to use a different one. Although angry at himself for his irrationality, he justified it by his concern for Jean and the kids.
***************
I was drawn to the greenhouse for some reason; I had a strange urge to check in on all the plants there before the mission. Jubilee and her daughter both entered the room and hugged me. "I'm sure the mission will go well," Jubilee said. "Knock 'em dead."
"Thanks, sweetie," I said, enthusiastically returning the hug. "I'm sure it'll go just fine. And hey, thanks again for taking over my bridge shift yesterday."
"No big deal."
I then picked up Rory and held her in my arms, amazed to realize much that little tyke had been growing. Although a few months older than Charlotte, she was smaller that Jean and Scott's girl. Still, Aurora looked round and healthy now, especially considering what a tiny infant she'd been.
Jubilee and I stood around in the greenhouse, talking for bit but mostly playing with Rory. The door to the room slid aside after a while and Jean-Paul entered. Jubilee and Rory soon excused themselves.
Jean-Paul and I didn't talk for long. "I wish you the best of luck, amour. I know it will go well," he said.
"Thank you," I said. "I'm sure it will."
He reached to pull me into a hug, surprising me. We didn't talk much more but I remember being very glad to get this scrap of affection from him before the journey.
**************
And then it was time to shuttle down to the planet. I wished we had a better name for this place, but "the planet" was what we continued to call it. Nightcrawler teleported each of us---Storm, Wolverine, Rogue, Gambit and myself----directly into one of the shuttles inside the bay.
Once inside, we each took a seat and fastened our safety belts. All of our training and countless repetitive drills paid off; Nightcrawler easily piloted the shuttle out of the starship. As his blue fingers worked the controls, I mentally played back the take-off sequence myself since I had simulated it so many times.
We didn't talk much on the way down to the planet. I think everyone had rehashed enough the conversations about what we might find on the planet's surface to the point where no one wanted to discuss it.
I wondered how Storm held up inside a confined space such as this. She told me she had no trouble with her claustrophobia on a starship as it was so big. But I ventured that she wouldn't want to remain inside a much-smaller shuttlecraft for too long.
I then marveled at how Marrow and Psylocke had shared this small a living space for so long. The shuttle was roomy enough for the six of us on such a mission, but I had lived in studio apartments that were three times bigger than the length and width of the shuttle! Two people living here permanently would've collided with each other constantly. I wondered what they did about personal hygiene. The shuttle did have a tiny bathroom consisting of a toilet and sink, but that was it. I vaguely remembered airplanes on earth and would have to say that the shuttle's bathroom might even have been smaller than an airplane's washroom. I think that a big guy like Colossus would've barely fit inside. And then my thoughts turned gloomy thinking of Colossus, the gentle giant, a man who loved to paint, another human being killed by the Friends of Humanity. He left behind a grieving lover named Elena.
I was glad when we came nearer to the planet's surface and my thoughts ceased their depressing spirals.
"We are close enough now that I can teleport us down," Nightcrawler said. Back on board Freedom, the distance had been too great for him to teleport down but now we were close enough.
And then, just like that, the shuttle and all of us inside were teleported to the planet's surface. It happened so quickly, I really didn't feel a thing. Before I knew it, Kurt's fingers danced over the controls to open the shuttle's hatch, and we all stood up to disembark from the small vessel. I walked down the ramp after Storm and Wolverine.
My senses were overwhelmed when I set foot on the planet's ground. Living on board a starship for two and a half months just dulls your senses in a way. You get used to breathing the same neutral air, seeing the metallic walls, feeling the same unchanging temperature, walking on flat surfaces. But standing on the planet's ground, I immediately noticed wind hitting my face, bringing with it the fragrant scent of leaves. There was another faint scent in the air, something crisp which reminded me vaguely of cinnamon. I heard a noise in the dark distance and reacted with a jump----until I realized it was a simple bird call. The ground was slightly uneven and I lost my footing for a second. Tall, thick grass covered the ground; it was grassier than anything I remembered on earth.
"The dilithium is this way," Storm said, looking at her tricorder and gesturing in a direction. "Gambit and Rogue, please stand by the shuttle and guard the area. Even though it is cloaked, we still do not want anyone to come into contact with it. Wolverine, Nightcrawler, and Iceman----follow me."
"Good job teleportin' us, Kurt," Wolverine said, sounding more jovial than usual. "You got us down real close to what we came for."
We walked in the direction of the dilithium, and I wondered if perhaps Wolverine was in a good mood because he so enjoyed the outdoors over being cooped up inside a starship. It was dark and I couldn't see well, but when I'd glimpsed Storm's face, her eyes seemed to be shining too. Somehow, you just felt so **alive** being outdoors like this. I took deep breaths of the air and enjoyed the sensation of my lungs expanding and releasing. I even liked the feel of walking through the long grass----I had boots on so I didn't feel much, of course, but it still was a different experience than walking on smooth metallic floors of a starship.
The shuttle didn't have enough energy left for us to use the transporter to get the dilithium aboard, so we would have to break off pieces of it and carry it back with us. Back on board Freedom before we set out for our mission, I had overheard Cyclops getting seriously worried over whether we'd even have enough processed dilithium left on board to convert the raw dilithium from the planet.
We didn't walk for more than a minute or two when we came to a large surface, resembling a huge rock. I'd seen a chunk of raw dilithium before, on the Paradise planet. This was it. "Right here," Wolverine pointed. "I can smell it."
Storm turned towards Wolverine and made a gesture with her arm. He unsheathed his adamantium claws and easily broke a chunk of it down into smaller pieces.
So the four of us got to work, picking up armloads and then turning to walk back to the shuttle with them. The pieces were 30-40 lbs each, I guessed, and I was glad for the weight training I'd been doing for the past several years. Kurt was lucky as he didn't need to walk; he simply made several teleported trips in the time it took me to make one trip on foot.
"Maybe we oughtta have Rogue take one of our places," I suggested to Storm as I walked next to her on one of our trips back to the shuttle. "I'm not like complaining or anything, but she's so strong, you know she could carry a lot more than either of us can, and faster probably."
"I wanted her to guard the shuttle," Storm said. "In the event that there is any trouble, her strength could be very useful. Guarding the safety of our method of transport is **critical**, especially since Freedom no longer has even the energy to beam us back up. We do not want to become trapped down here."
I nodded, though Storm probably couldn't see the acknowledgement in the dark. I smiled and said something like, 'That's why you're the boss.'
Wolverine was walking ahead of Storm and I. I knew that we were coming to the place where the shuttle was parked; despite the fact that the shuttle was now invisible to us, I remembered the lay out of the trees and bushes. Wolverine stopped dead in his tracks and I nearly walked right into him.
"What is it?" I asked.
And then I looked around and realized. Rogue and Gambit were gone.
*****************
Most of the remaining X-men were now clustered on the bridge, eagerly awaiting the results of the away team's mission.
"I wish we had the power to turn our maximum sensor array back on," Cyclops said. "With the reduction in power to our sensors, we're practically blind."
"Fortunately I have ways to sense them still," Jean said, smiling. "And all seems to be going well so far."
"I hope this won't take too long," Dani Moonstar said. "I can't wait till we get more dilithium and can head back to An'zhina."
"Well, we certainly timed it well," Panda said, looking at one of the monitors. "It's nightfall on the part of the planet they shuttled to, and from what our limited sensors can detect, there aren't any people around."
Cyclops began, "I just wish we….." he cut himself off when he saw the look on his wife's face. "What's wrong, Jean?"
Jean's eyes were wide. "Panic. They are feeling a bit of panic." She paused. "Let me contact them."
Jean then shut her eyes and concentrated on speaking directly into her fellow X-men's minds. //What's wrong, Storm?// Jean 'asked.'
//It is Rogue and Gambit.// Storm thought back. //They were guarding the shuttle and now they are gone. Can you reach them, Jean?//
Jean hesitated. She simultaneously spoke out loud and into Storm's mind. "I am sensing something that I have not encountered before…..It's very hard to describe. I think that Rogue and Gambit are still out there but…..but it's like there's fog and I can't reach them. I can't quite get through to them….but they're there."
"But why can't you reach them?" Scott asked.
Jean had no answer.
**************
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