Thank you to Pudding333 for your character and question.
Dear SiriousB1,
I hate to burden you with my worries and problems, but it seems essential at this time. First of all you must understand that I am very old. I have lived for a very long time and have tried my hardest to put forth enough energy into my school (Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry) to make it the best on this earth. However, despite my efforts, it always seems that it is indeed my school that gets the most negative media attention. For example, during the fourth year at Hogwarts that was recorded by the magnificent witch J.K. Rowling, one reporter named Rita Skeeter of the Daily Prophet wrote several articles regarding a few of my students. All of these were complete rubbish, and yet it seemed that most people believed them. Also, during the same year, we finally held another TriWizard Tournament. And it was just to my rotten luck that Hogwarts was the host. We had several problems with it (i.e., an extra wizard competing, a teacher who turned out to be a spy and a couple giant Blast-Ended Screwts just to name a few) that all seemed to be blamed on my staff and myself. Of course, the worst of it all was that one of my students wound up dead. The Dark Lord Voldemort killed him and yet no one believed it. And, of course, neither Beauxbatons nor Durmstrang was blamed for anything. Is there something that I am doing wrong? A mistake that I have made? What is it that I can do to make my school a better and safer place for the students and the staff? I just don't feel like I can take it anymore! I sit at this desk all year slaving over long rolls of parchment and conducting difficult spells for them, but do I get any thanks? NO SIR! I get stuck with these punks coming back to my school every year and causing me more trouble. ::Starts ripping hair out of head and beard out of chin:: ONE OF THESE DAYS I AM GOING TO MAKE THEM ALL PAY! YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! ::Screams and laughs manically and runs around in circles ::MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! ::Eyes widen and a large, nasty looking machete is revealed from underneath the folds in his robes:: COME HERE, NOW. JUST A LITTLE CLOSER...
Cordially,
Flustered Headmaster
Dear Flustered Headmaster,
Perhaps you are taking this whole bad media thing the wrong way. Perhaps the press is just trying to make you feel perturbed with all of this false (and sometimes true) publicity. ::Sweatdrop:: I daresay that it's working. This may just be my opinion, but perhaps you have "gone off of your rocker"? I think that it is time that you retire, old man, 'cause there is something going on in that ancient head of yours that isn't right. I mean, we wouldn't want any of your students to get hurt, now would we. ::Pauses:: WHAT AM I SAYING? Pushes Harry Potter, Ron Weasly and Hermoine Granger forward towards the Headmaster Please! Don't hesitate to mutilate these...um...poor students' bodies! I'm sure that they'll be found floating in a river at some point. I mean, they just "happened" to come see you in your office at a bad time, right? :-)
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
P.S.
Don't you dare steal my laugh, geezer! Besides, you can't even do it right! This is how you laugh like a maniac! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get it right, ya' old fart!
Dear SiriousB1,
I hate to burden you with my worries and problems, but it seems essential at this time. First of all you must understand that I am very old. I have lived for a very long time and have tried my hardest to put forth enough energy into my school (Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry) to make it the best on this earth. However, despite my efforts, it always seems that it is indeed my school that gets the most negative media attention. For example, during the fourth year at Hogwarts that was recorded by the magnificent witch J.K. Rowling, one reporter named Rita Skeeter of the Daily Prophet wrote several articles regarding a few of my students. All of these were complete rubbish, and yet it seemed that most people believed them. Also, during the same year, we finally held another TriWizard Tournament. And it was just to my rotten luck that Hogwarts was the host. We had several problems with it (i.e., an extra wizard competing, a teacher who turned out to be a spy and a couple giant Blast-Ended Screwts just to name a few) that all seemed to be blamed on my staff and myself. Of course, the worst of it all was that one of my students wound up dead. The Dark Lord Voldemort killed him and yet no one believed it. And, of course, neither Beauxbatons nor Durmstrang was blamed for anything. Is there something that I am doing wrong? A mistake that I have made? What is it that I can do to make my school a better and safer place for the students and the staff? I just don't feel like I can take it anymore! I sit at this desk all year slaving over long rolls of parchment and conducting difficult spells for them, but do I get any thanks? NO SIR! I get stuck with these punks coming back to my school every year and causing me more trouble. ::Starts ripping hair out of head and beard out of chin:: ONE OF THESE DAYS I AM GOING TO MAKE THEM ALL PAY! YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! ::Screams and laughs manically and runs around in circles ::MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! ::Eyes widen and a large, nasty looking machete is revealed from underneath the folds in his robes:: COME HERE, NOW. JUST A LITTLE CLOSER...
Cordially,
Flustered Headmaster
Dear Flustered Headmaster,
Perhaps you are taking this whole bad media thing the wrong way. Perhaps the press is just trying to make you feel perturbed with all of this false (and sometimes true) publicity. ::Sweatdrop:: I daresay that it's working. This may just be my opinion, but perhaps you have "gone off of your rocker"? I think that it is time that you retire, old man, 'cause there is something going on in that ancient head of yours that isn't right. I mean, we wouldn't want any of your students to get hurt, now would we. ::Pauses:: WHAT AM I SAYING? Pushes Harry Potter, Ron Weasly and Hermoine Granger forward towards the Headmaster Please! Don't hesitate to mutilate these...um...poor students' bodies! I'm sure that they'll be found floating in a river at some point. I mean, they just "happened" to come see you in your office at a bad time, right? :-)
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
P.S.
Don't you dare steal my laugh, geezer! Besides, you can't even do it right! This is how you laugh like a maniac! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get it right, ya' old fart!