Disclaimer: I still just own the plot, though god I wish I owned Sev and Remus!
Review Responses:
hollyberry2900 – Sev/Remus is one of the best pairings out there! Thanks for the review!
AffectedMangoO – there's more dialogue in this chapter than the last I think. Thanks for reviewing!
Dimitre – Thank you for your honest review, I'm quite flattered that despite being undecided on the storyline you still like my style of writing. I was particularly pleased you called the plot unique!
BekaJWP – Thanks for the review, but what does LMAO mean?
Arafel2 – Thank you for the smiley face!
Dark Comet – Sorry it's slightly late but hopefully the wait wasn't too long. Even aside from the hatred and stuff I see many problems with Remus throwing himself at Severus. There's Sev's double and stressfully complicated life for starters, then there's Remus' emotional fragility following Sirius' death, still they're going to deal with some of their issues over the next few chapters. Thanks for the review!
Ellrohan – Thanks for the compliment but what do you mean by 'what Severus did'. This is going to make me sound stupid but what did he do? As I'm not sure what you were asking about Remus may or may not find out, I guess we'll both have to wait for the answer to that. Do let me know what it was! Thanks for reviewing!
Lizella – I adore this pairing, Severus is my favourite HP character and I'm a huge Remus fan too and I just think they've got great chemistry even in the books and also in the third film! Thanks for the review!
just-an-oli – Thank you for the review, I'm so glad people are liking this!
Daylyn – Poor Sev is very confused by the lovely Remus, glad you think he's in character. Thank you for the review!
Shades of Grey
A/N: OK so it's slightly late but it's still Friday so I'm technically no later than I said, it's just later in the evening than I anticipated it being!
Remus' Thoughts
Emphasis
Chapter 4
Remus had a disappointingly long wait to see Severus again; the man had been away on either a mission for Dumbledore or more likely involved with the Death Eaters and it was a fortnight before he actually turned up at the Order headquarters to speak with Arthur Weasley about some issue involving the Ministry. After Arthur had left Molly persuaded Severus to stay for a cup of tea, much to Remus' delight. Molly was kept busy in the kitchen and for one glorious moment Remus thought he would have Severus all to himself before Alastor Moody walked in and spoiled his plans. Moody took one look at Severus and glared at the man.
"What brings you here, Snape?"
"Well it certainly wasn't the company," Severus sneered.
"I think you'll find your company's no more desirable to us than ours is to you," Moody continued.
"No one's asking you to stay, you don't live here," Snape pointed out coolly.
"Neither do you Snape, your business here is concluded isn't it." Moody said this not as a question but more as a statement that implied Severus' business was finished whether he liked it or not.
"Alastor!" Remus said warningly, "Severus was asked to stay by myself and Molly."
"I don't like traitors," Moody growled, "And I don't see why we should have to socialise with them."
"Really? Due to the fact you've only said that half a million times before I had no idea!" Severus' tone was silky and dangerous.
"I've got my eye on you Snape." Moody now literally had his magical eye on the taller man.
"You know its amazing how well Barty Crouch imitated your personality, you'd really never know the difference between the two of you," Severus smirked, "Except it's possible he had just slightly better manners."
"If I had my way you wouldn't even be here, Dumbledore's far too trusting in my opinion!"
"Yes, why he let you in is a complete mystery isn't it? Had anymore encounters with intruders who turn out to be stray cats lately?" Severus' voice was quiet but his tone was growing increasingly dangerous while Remus was growing increasingly uncomfortable, wanting to stand up for Severus but not knowing how either of them would react if he did.
"One day Snape everyone's going to find out exactly what you are," the way Moody spoke, as though Severus were something unpleasant he'd scraped of the bottom of his shoe, incensed Remus.
"Yes they are," Remus spoke up quietly but firmly, "And then they'll stop shunning him like he has leprosy and start thanking him for being the reason they're still alive."
"Never thought I'd see the day when you of all people'd be standing up for him. What would Sirius have said?" Moody looked reproachful.
"Oh I'm sorry, am I supposed to spend the rest of my days saying what Sirius would have said had not been murdered?!" Remus' voice was raised in anger at the mention of his friend.
"What on earth's going on in here?" Molly Weasley out her head around the door, "Is everything alright Remus?"
"Everything's fine Molly," Remus managed a calm smile, "Just a slight disagreement between Moody and myself, nothing to worry about."
"I'd say he was something to worry about," Moody growled, with a meaningful glance towards Severus.
"You know there are people who'd say the same thing about me Alastor," Remus said more quietly then, noticing Severus leave, he nodded politely to Molly and went after him.
He followed Severus into the sitting room with the fireplace they used to travel through the floo system; one benefit of the ministry accepting Dumbledore had been right was that they were no longer monitoring the comings and goings of Hogwarts fireplaces. "Don't let him get to you Severus!"
"I didn't, and I do not require you to defend me." The man tossed some floo powder into the fire and stepped in after it.
Upon reaching his office at Hogwarts Severus turned to see Remus had followed him through the floo system and was standing in his room.
He sighed, "Lupin, why are you still here?"
Remus Lupin gave no indication he'd heard anything Severus had said, "You should just ignore him."
"I can't help but notice you're following me Lupin."
"Still, Dumbledore shouldn't let him talk to you like that!" Remus carried on, oblivious to what Severus was saying.
Severus frowned, "You're not listening to a word I'm saying are you?"
"How can he keep holding it against you?" Apparently Remus certainly wasn't listening.
Severus sighed and decided to answer the other man in hopes he would leave if he got what he wanted. "In his words, he doesn't like traitors. I don't blame him anyway, it's not his fault he's a paranoid psychopath who can't trust anyone! Hang on a moment, of course it's his fault."
"Well he's working with you he needs to stop behaving quite so antagonistically."
"That's a big word for you, have you been reading the dictionary?" Severus smirked, "Or did someone buy you word of the day toilet paper for Christmas."
"Neither, I spent too long around you and your penchant for complicated conversation rubbed off," Remus replied teasingly.
"Just so long as your fleas don't rub off on me."
Remus grinned, "I've got them well trained."
"Well, it sounds like the Order could start a travelling performance, you with your flea circus, Moody as a one man freak show."
Remus couldn't help but laugh, "You know you're almost as bad to him as he is to you! I can see why though, he needs to learn to control himself."
"What, do you think he should just forgive and forget and move on? I don't think there are many people who would agree with you there."
"Sometimes I think that maybe you're the only one who hasn't forgiven you."
Severus was silent for a moment before adding quietly, "I assure you Lupin I am not the only one."
"Would you stop doing that? Can't you just call me Remus, must you be so petty?"
"What?!" Severus seemed confused by the sudden change in conversation.
Remus was suddenly hit with the fact that his comment did appear to have come out of the blue. "It just gets on my nerves. It's not just me you do it to either, you keep everyone at an emotional distance, even your colleagues are just 'Professor this', 'Headmaster that', I can't remember the last time I heard you call someone by their first name. Apart from Draco Malfoy."
"That child's had enough people keeping him at a distance."
Remus frowned thoughtfully, "You care about him don't you?"
"I do not wish to see him follow the path everyone expects him to, that he expects himself to, but I feel as though there is little that will prevent it."
"If you think there's no chance for him then why keep trying?"
"Because no one else will. No one else cares. I don't think he even cares that much himself," Severus' frustration was clear in his voice.
"The headmaster cares..." Remus began.
"The headmaster has larger issues on his mind than the future of one young boy." Snape snorted, "Unless of course the young boy happens to answer to the name of Potter!"
"Harry is important Severus whether you like him or not."
"That's what it eventually comes down to isn't it, what they're worth."
"Severus you know damned well that's not what I was saying! Of course Draco is worth just as much as Harry is. I agree with you though, if a child ever needed a little help he does, having Lucius Malfoy for a father can hardly be easy. I wouldn't give up on him yet though, I have a feeling his path will not be the same as his father's."
Snape frowned, "What makes you say that?"
"The fact that I have faith in you. That boy looks up to you Severus. I think at the end of the day his loyalties may lie, not with his father, but with you and I'd view that as being a pretty good thing." There was silence for a moment as Snape sneered at the werewolf. "You know you're very good at changing the subject Severus, you never did explain why you can't just call me Remus."
"Well I think you explained that yourself, you called it keeping people at a distance and I can't think of anyone I'd rather keep at a distance than you."
"Charming Severus, your sparkling personality never fails to uplift everybody's spirits and boost their ego. Maybe I should just leave you to your sulking."
"I'm not sulking Lupin, I'm researching; trying to keep your ridiculous child hero alive actually. However yes, I would be gratified if you left me alone."
"Still pushing people away."
"I think we've covered that point."
"Don't you ever get tired of being alone?"
Severus didn't seem to have an answer to that
"Are you ever going to let anyone in, Severus? Or are you going to go through the rest of your life alone, forever holding the world at arm's length? I'm trying to be your friend and you're fighting me every step of the way. If you simply couldn't stand me I'd get it but you do this to everyone! Why?"
Severus was clearly angered by this. "Maybe because I've never met anyone who liked me for me rather than what I could do for them. And the only ones who possibly did are dead, rotting in Azkaban or long lost to me. I've had friends Lupin, you've met some of them only I think they were trying to kill you at the time."
"I like you for who you are! Dumbledore does, McGonagall does; for goodness sake even Hagrid likes you! And what about all those Slytherin students, they like you! People like you Severus you just don't notice because you're too busy pushing them away so that you never have to feel anything, so you never have to bother with the trouble of actually being human!"
"My students like me because I favour them in classes and defend them to other teachers. Hagrid's a fool who likes everyone unless they threaten Dumbledore. And as for Dumbledore, does it ever occur to you that he might not have been so interested in helping me if I hadn't had access to the information he wanted?"
"Do you really think all that?" Remus asked, deeply sceptical of Severus' last comment.
Severus didn't answer.
Remus thought back to the concern on the elderly headmaster's face when he had spoken to him about Severus. "Dumbledore cares about you," he said quietly.
"I know that," Severus said shortly.
"And I notice you didn't have anything to say on the subject of Minerva and myself."
"You're an idiot with very questionable taste in friends if your track record's anything to go by and Minerva..." Severus trailed off.
"What, don't tell me you've actually found someone you consider a friend?!" Remus asked in mock horror.
Severus snorted, "I suppose you could refer to her as that."
"Well I'm no Minerva McGonagall but I am trying to be your friend and I'm not going to give in, no matter what you say."
"So I'd gathered," Severus replied.
"So will you call me Remus?"
"No."
"Why? I call you Severus."
"I never asked you to."
"Would you prefer I didn't?"
"I would prefer you simply didn't speak to me."
Remus shook his head, "You don't mean that."
"Must you re-interpret everything I say into what you want to hear?"
"I just work out what it is you really mean," Remus smiled.
Severus rolled his eyes.
"You see this is progress, a few weeks ago you'd have thrown me out by now."
"You're right, I'm definitely losing my mind."
Remus grinned.
"A thought which clearly amuses you."
"It's all part of my evil plan you see to drive you totally insane."
"It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if you were actually carrying out such a plan."
"That's because you're paranoid." Remus sat down.
"You're sitting down!" Severus said in dismay.
"Yes."
"Why?! Do you think you're staying?"
"Yes."
Severus made a noise suspiciously close to a growl, "Lupin, it has been made quite clear many times that neither one of actually enjoys the other's company so why don't you just go back to Grimmauld Place."
"I enjoy your company."
"Why?"
"Because you're courageous, witty, intelligent and more caring than you really want the world to see." Severus looked sickened by the idea, causing Remus to laugh softly. "I'm sorry if you take the idea of being nice as an insult."
Severus raised an eyebrow, "I take most things that come from you as an insult."
"Shall we have some tea?"
"We just had some at Grimmauld Place," Severus pointed out.
"You didn't drink yours."
"The company didn't encourage me to stick around."
"That's a pity, you should join us at Grimmauld Place more often."
"Yes, who wouldn't want to spend their time there?" Severus responded with his usual sarcasm. "But as it happens I'll be back in a couple of days. There are some interesting books there that may be of some help in our efforts."
"Oh well, when are you coming?"
"The day after tomorrow in the evening I think, but my plans tend to be subject to last minute changes. I hope to stay and have a look at the books when I bring you your Wolfsbane potion."
"I missed you while you were away," Remus decided to risk saying it, after all Severus did seem to have calmed down considerably.
The potions master smiled grimly, "Well the company I was keeping was almost enough to make me miss having you annoying me."
Remus was shocked, "Really?!"
"I said 'almost'."
"We should have a drink when you come round then."
"You'll be drinking yours out of a dog bowl Lupin, it's your time of the month remember?"
"Trust me, it's hard to forget."
"Those of us who want you to take your wolfsbane would consider that a good thing."
Remus ignored him, "Anyway, if you come in the early evening I should have a couple of hours, the summer nights are pretty short."
"Something I'm sure you're grateful for."
Remus looked at the man in surprise, for a moment he could have sworn he'd heard sympathy in Severus' voice. "I am grateful for that, yes."
"I suppose you're still waiting for that tea?"
"Thought you'd never ask."
"I didn't, you insisted."
Remus smiled as the man conjured a teapot and mugs instead of calling for a house elf. "Showing off your conjuring skills?"
"If I have to deal with a house elf right now I might kill it. I haven't the patience for their own particular brand of stupidity, not on top of yours anyway. I asked one for tea this morning and it came back with a pot plant."
Remus laughed, "Why?"
"If I knew that I'd tell you."
Remus poured the tea and offered Severus a cup.
"Thank you."
"No problem. It's better drinking tea here anyway, at least you know the Weasley twins haven't put anything in it."
Severus raised an eyebrow, "What makes you think I haven't?"
Remus sipped his tea thoughtfully before replying, "Blind faith. So shall I take it you were on Order business for the last two weeks?"
Severus looked slightly uncomfortable, "Not exactly."
"What do you mean 'not exactly'?"
"Well I wasn't on holiday in the Bahamas! If I wasn't doing something for the Order what do you think I was doing Lupin?!"
Remus gave an apologetic smile, "Sorry. That can't have been fun." It was only after he'd said it that the comment struck him as stupid, he had a feeling that spending two weeks with the Death Eaters and Voldemort would be about as far from fun as you could get.
"Funnily enough it wasn't fun, no," Severus replied coldly.
"Sorry, stupid thing to say."
"I'm used to that from you. Now hurry up and finish that tea, I've got work to do and I would like some peace."
"Whatever you say Severus," Remus drained his teacup. "Thank you for your hospitality and I'll see you in a couple of days."
"Goodbye Lupin," Severus said dismissively.
Remus flooed back to Grimmauld Place to find Moody was now engaged in an argument with Mundungus Fletcher over his various law breaking schemes. The werewolf smiled and left them to it, pleased to see it wasn't just Severus Moody treated with distrust.
XXXXXXX
Next update will quicker than this one was, not sure what day, perhaps Monday or Tuesday. Next chapter, it's the full moon and it'll be an interesting one! If you enjoyed this, or if you hated it and wish to tell me so, drop me a review!
Oh and does anyone else think David Thewlis was brilliant as Remus? I loved him, he's not how I pictured Remus but I do think he was fantastic! Third's definitely the best film so far! (Well if you can overlook the fact Oliver Wood wasn't in it!)