I saw 'Salem's Lot!!! Let's just say that when it was over, I wanted a crowbar so I could rip my eyes out!!! That was the freakiest thing I have ever seen in my life, not including the movie 'The Others'...and I don't get scared by movies that easily.

But on a brighter note...I love you people!!! You guys really know how to review!!! Thanks a bunch!!!

(Bear Hugs all the people who've read and reviewed this story)

To my Reviewers:

Bloody Akiko Nagi the Insane-I had no idea you were a Republican!!! I'll try not to put any more Bush Bashing into this story...but other than that, I'm glad you like it!!!

Hanna M. - Thanks for telling me!!! I've just seen so many stories where it's spelled that way!!!

Nienna-Yavetil- Yup...evil Turkeys!!! Nobody should like them...but they're pretty funny!!!

Kelsey- Yup...named after Uncle Sheldon's Turkey Farm!!! He's evil...but his name makes you laugh!!! If you've seen the Spongebob Squarepants episode where Plankton and his family gets the 'secret formula' he's evil but his name is also Sheldon!!! Funny, huh?

Lomiothiel- lol! NO SCHOOL...NO SCHOOL...YA-HOOOOOOOOOO!!! joins in on lil' dance

Retrokitten87- I'll look forward to your story...when you post it up, that is!!! Insane Randomness is my specialty!!!

Im a Brandybuck- Wow...my Fav. Author put me on their Fav. Author list!!! That is so cool!!! LOL...giant Middle-Earth Thanksgiving!!! And I think you're right about getting the statues on E-Bay...but I'll have to double check with Aragorn...when he's not busy!!! (By the way...if I use your Thanksgiving idea, don't be offended by it)

Thanks again...and here's your reward for being so kind.

It was late!!! Very late!!! Just four minutes and 23 seconds to midnight, to be exact!!! And like every normal person who stays up until midnight, being chased around the courtyard of a palace by crazed, power-hungry Turkeys...everyone was either cranky...or tired. Aragorn and Legolas were running in circles taking turns to carry a snoring Pippin, Gandalf was nodding from behind the Arnold Schwarzenegger statue, Frodo and Merry had curled up in a stall in the stables along with some of the Turkeys, and Gimli was snoring loudly from underneath the Gondorian Flag. The Soldiers and Guards were also trying to stay awake. Finally, Sheldon stood up and all action (if you could call it that) stopped.

"All right...It's late...I'm tired...and neither you nor my Turkey henchmen- things have the strength to go on!"

Everyone groaned to show he was correct.

"We finish this tomorrow. Same place...8:00am...be there!"

Aragorn tried to glare at Sheldon, but only ended up yawning.

"Make it 10:30am and you got yourself a deal!"

"Fine!"

They all watched as Sheldon and his Turkeys walked off. Then, without further ado they all collapsed and went to sleep.

(The Next Day...at 10:31am)

(Western style music plays in the Background)

Everyone was standing in the Palace courtyard wearing US Army outfits...complete with Machine Guns, Tanks, and Hand Grenades. A few of the men were holding Bazookas.

Over the side of the wall, everyone could see the freakishly large outline of Sheldon the Turkey King. Trotting along behind him, were his Turkey henchmen-things. The Fellowship and the Gondorian soldiers and guards all tried to hide their fear as they waited for the battle that was to come.

"You're late!"

Sheldon looked at his watch. (Once more...technology shows itself) How he was able to see it under all those feathers, I don't really know...but that doesn't matter.

"Only by a minute, puny human!"

All the humans there all glared at Sheldon. Aragorn tightened his hold on his Machine Gun.

"What's he getting so mad about?" Pippin asked Legolas, his helmet falling down over his eyes for the hundredth time.

"Aragorn always gets offended when someone calls him a 'Puny Human' and I found that out the hard way. Who knew he had such a good right hook!" answered Legolas. Frodo and Merry, who had both overheard the conversation, stifled snickers. Aragorn turned and glared at the blond elf who grinned sheepishly and turned away.

Sheldon gave a wild cry that sounded like a cross between an Ape, Tarzan, and Godzilla.

"KILL THEM...KILL THEM ALL!"

The Turkey's surged forward. The Fellowship and the other men all readied their weapons.

"LEAVE NONE ALIVE...SLAUGHTER THEM...MAKE THEM BEG FOR MERCY AT THE HANDS OF AN UNSTOPABLE TURKEY ARMY, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..."

"Dude...stop talking, you're breaking the focus of a raging battle here!" said Aragorn.

Sheldon blinked in surprise.

"Oh...sorry. Carry on, then!"

"Thank you!" said Aragorn. Then he turned back to his men...and the rest of the Fellowship.

"FIRE FUTURISTIC WEAPONRY!!!"

Everyone fired weapons. Well, everyone except Pippin, who was only allowed to watch seeing as he couldn't be trusted with advanced technology that included things that could really hurt/kill people. The Turkey's however, were brave souls and apparently were NOT afraid to run headlong, screaming like girls, into heavy fire, which resulted in a lot of them being killed. Those that did make it through the heavy artillery did not waste any time to go straight after Pippin since he was the only one without said 'Futuristic Weaponry'.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMY!"

Aragorn and Legolas both turned around.

"Well, it's not surprising that they all went after Pippin first."

Legolas nodded. Then he gave a small grin.

"At least this time, it's not us!"

Aragorn grinned as well and turned back around to fire his bright green Machine Gun. The battle was raging on and on, and it looked like it was never going to stop.

(5 hours later)

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

Everyone froze in the acts of...doing whatever it was they had been doing for the past 5 hours.

Sheldon was bored. But then again...so was everyone else. What's new?

"I say we settle this fight in the only way that seems best!" said Sheldon.

"Jim Rummy?" asked Faramir.

"Karaoke Contest?" suggested Gimli.

"Musical Chairs!" cried Frodo.

"Chess!" piped up a Random Turkey henchman-thing (we'll call him Charlie)

"A Pie Eating Contest!" shouted Pippin and Merry

"NO!" everyone yelled.

Finally, Sheldon held up a large wing.

"I got it!" he cried. "We shall play...BARBIE!"

(Cricket...cricket...cricket...)

"Barbie?" said Sam with a raised eyebrow.

Aragorn puffed out his chest in one of those 'I'm-attempting-to-be-a-macho- man' type ways.

"We're men...we're manly men! We do NOT play Barbie!"

Had Arwen heard his 'We're manly men' line I'm sure she would have scoffed and walked away, shaking her head in shame at her overly confident husband. (Excuse me while I scoff and walk away shaking my head at this overly confident stud muffin...scoffing)

Sheldon raised himself up to his full height...which was pretty damn tall.

"We Turkey's play Barbie! Are you saying we aren't manly?"

Aragorn coughed nervously.

"Well...yeah!"

Sheldon was silent for a moment. Everyone was afraid he would rip off Aragorn's head...or else throw him over the side of the wall to his death.

"Fine...we shall have a Karaoke Contest! If one of our 5 contestants wins...it's our victory. If one of your 5 contestants wins...it's your victory!"

Sheldon held out his wing. Aragorn eyes it for a moment, then shook it.

"We except!"

Who are the 5 contestants for the Fellowship's team? What will happen? Find out in the next chapter!!! Dum-dum-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!

Aragorn: He suggested BARBIE!!!

Frodo: Of all the things in the world...why that!

Legolas: Hey...be lucky he didn't suggest we play 'Barney and Friends'

Pippin: Or 'My Little Pony'

Aragorn: THE HORROR!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Sheldon: And they say they're manly man!

Review...as always!!! I'll update soon...hopefully I get the computer before I have to go to the summer camp with the stalked Math Teacher...yech!!! I HATE math!!! Bye-bye for now folks!!!