THE HEAVENS OPEN
By Stormkeeper (stormkpr@usa.net)
CHAPTER FIVE
**************
Jean was glad that Cyclops chose to go to the Danger Room. Jean had suggested to him, many years ago, that when he felt angry at a fellow X-man, his first course of action should be to find a way to blown off some steam. Jean's advice was followed often by the time that Wolverine, and later Gambit, joined the X-men.
Two hours later, Scott returned to the mess hall where Jean tended to the children. Again leaving Charlotte and Christopher in the care of other X-men, the couple made their way to their room.
"I'm still mad at him," Scott said.
"But you seem like you have calmed down some," Jean observed.
"Yes," he admitted.
"Slim. Take a deep breath."
"I already did. I've taken many deep breaths in the past couple of hours."
"Take one more for me now, my love."
"Okay." He did as she requested.
"Now then," Jean said, a small smile on her face, as Scott exhaled, "do you remember what it was that I recommended you do whenever you find yourself mad at another X-man? I mean, after a stint in the Danger Room."
"Yeah, I remember," Scott replied. He truly enjoyed the kind of gentle advising that Jean was doing for him now, and had done for him many times. She and Xavier were his sanity, he oftentimes felt. "I should try to first empathize with their situation."
Jean nodded. "Do you think you can do this now? Try to understand where Bobby's coming from?"
Scott slowly nodded. "I can try. Bobby is feeling desperate because Northstar has a terminal illness." Somehow saying the words did help clarify things in his mind, at least a smidgen. Scott was still outraged at the gall of Bobby's request, but he did understand what it was like to love someone. But what was that love compared to what Scott himself had with Jean?
"That is true," Jean replied, her voice still mild and soothing. "And can you understand what Northstar means to Bobby? Who he is in Bobby's life?" Before her mutant powers had developed, Jean had entertained notions of obtaining a college degree in Psychology and becoming a counselor. She'd always wished that more X-men would come to her when they were troubled.
"He's his…." Scott faltered a bit. "I don't know. Someone he loves."
Jean nodded. "That's right. Someone he loves, like the way you feel for me."
Scott crossed his arms over his chest and stated his opinion flatly and plainly. "It is not the same."
In the space of an instant, Jean lost it. She slammed her hand down on the desk and yelled, "Bullshit, Summers!!"
The room seemed to echo with the sound of Jean's hand hitting the desk and the roar of her voice. Scott was so astounded that he gasped. He had no recollection of Jean ever yelling at him, nor had he ever seen such anger ---directed at him!---blazing in her eyes. Stunned, he slowly sank down, sitting on the side of the bed. For a split second, he had the urge to cry, but it passed. He didn't look at Jean, not wanting to face the rage on her face. He now had absolutely no idea how to reply to her, having never seen this behavior from his wife.
Jean then took a deep breath. She spoke firmly and without the gentleness he was so used to and adored from her. "Bobby and Northstar love each other. Even though it makes you uncomfortable, you have to accept that their relationship is basically equal in value to any other married couple here."
Scott turned away, unable to face her. After a few moments of silence, he said, "We already talked about this. I don't agree with what you are saying."
Jean then allowed a few moments to pass as she reigned in her anger. This was not the time to debate this point with Scott; instead, it was time to look for some consensus. "Alright," she said. "As we did before, we will agree to disagree on this. But can we both agree that Northstar is someone who Bobby loves very much?"
"Okay," Scott said, without hesitation.
"Good." That was enough, Jean supposed. She paused, looking for the next place to take this and wishing that it were Xavier, instead of herself, having this discussion with Scott. "How do you feel about the request that Bobby made of you?"
"The same way as before. I think it was outrageous. And I…." Suddenly, he stopped himself. His indignation since Bobby's visit had clouded his ability to tap into his mindlink with Jean. The link was now gradually returning, and he crashed into a realization. "Jean….you are actually considering that we should do what Bobby asks, aren't you?" he asked, breathless and stunned. "You are considering it," he repeated.
"Yes," she said. "I am considering it."
"I can't believe this." He looked up at the ceiling, as if in supplication to divine powers. "Please tell me that today is a bad dream. Just a nightmare and tomorrow none of this will have happened."
Jean gently touched a hand to Scott's shoulder and said, with a note of reassurance in her voice, "Scott, for a man who has battled the likes of Apocalypse, Sinister, and the Juggernaut, what we are going through now can hardly be called the worst we have ever faced together."
"Our relationship is the most important thing in my entire life. That, and the children, of course. The battles with all the enemies the X-men had over the years were **nothing** compared to hearing this!" It was astounding, the very notion that Jean might support this. "Goddamn Bobby Drake," he added, vehemently.
Jean started to say something, but then Scott spoke again. "How do we know how Northstar got HIV, anyway? He says it's from FOH, but how do we know it's not from engaging in promiscuity like a lot of gays do?"
"Does it really matter how he got it?" Jean asked.
"Yes."
Jean took a deep breath. "It doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is that his life is at stake. If Hank or Moira do not come up with a cure, Northstar will eventually die. It might happen soon or it might happen in several years, but he will die."
There was more silence. "I am so mad at Bobby right now, for making us argue like this," Scott said.
"Our relationship is strong. We can survive an argument. We can even grow from it and eventually become closer."
"And what will happen to our relationship if I….if I go along with this crazy idea?"
"Our relationship could survive that, too. I am confident that we can get through anything together."
The looked at each other. Scott sighed and rubbed his temples. "I don't think I can discuss this anymore right now."
That was unusual for Scott as he was a man who preferred closure. "I have a suggestion, then. Will you at least think about it some more and we can discuss it later?" Jean asked.
Scott's mind whirled. "Okay," he finally said. "C'mon. We should get back to the kids."
****************
"Xavier, I demand that you put a stop to these senseless executions taking place right outside of Endarian space! The populace is getting worried and I cannot afford to allow millions of xenophobes to panic."
Queen Marina made her demands to Charles Xavier via a videolink. The monarch never flew to An'zhina when she wanted to talk with the X-men, and therefore they were quite familiar with the one-dimensional view of her face looking back at them over the monitor.
"I tried to convince Psylocke not to do it," the Professor stated calmly. "Although I no longer have any authority over her, I will speak with her again."
"Your talks with her have produced no good. That woman used her powers to seize control of the captain of one of the Friends of Humanity starships, and to blow up both the vessels. I have no great love for the Friends of Humanity myself, but I did not want hundreds of men to die either." Marina did not bother to mask the disapproval in her voice. The citizens of Endaria, by and large, had no problem with the X-men inhabiting one of An'zhina's moons. However they did not like the fact that a former X-man used her powers to cause the death of hundreds. The Endarians were a peaceful people who had no notion of a death penalty, even for the few criminals in their society.
"I will speak with Psylocke again. Do you have any other suggestions?" the Professor asked. Psylocke had used a telepathic shield to hide not only the killing of the FOH soldiers from Xavier but also the fact that her group tortured them for a few hours beforehand. Had Xavier been aware of their intent and had he tried, he probably could have penetrated that shield. He knew that he would be haunted by guilt over this.
"No," Marina answered, "but I will let you know now that if Psylocke does anything like that again in Endarian space, I will use our technology to propel her ship all the way back to earth! And you can take that message to her."
"I will."
With that, the Queen then abruptly ended their conversation.
Xavier decided to let some time pass before contacting Betsy again. The X-men's starship, Freedom, was still roughly four days from An'zhina. Perhaps Jean might have better luck convincing Psylocke, Charles speculated, as every method he himself had deployed to get through to her had failed.
As the day wore on though, with the mutants on An'zhina making preparations for a homecoming party for the X-men, Charles noticed something odd. A quick telepathic check indicated that Psylocke and Marrow's vessel was holding its position. Why would they remain in Endarian space now that their mission of killing FOH soldiers was completed? What other business did they have there? Charles could have invaded their minds to find the answer but he still detested the idea of entering anyone's mind without consent. He would wait for Jean's attempt at communicating with Betsy and see whether his first student had better luck.
***************
"How did your training session today go?" I asked Jean-Paul. We were in my quarters, getting ready for bed.
"Okay," he said, though the word was muffled because he was brushing his teeth. He then spat into the sink and rinsed. "Jubilee and I were up against the level 7 Apocalypse program but we got our dierriers kicked."
"The level 7 Apocalypse? Wow---you two are brave. I doubt that the entire team of X-men working together could've won against that level." I paused as I folded my uniform and placed it inside the drawer. Although Jean-Paul and I maintained separate rooms, I was always finding various personal belongings of his inside "my" room, and I liked it. I placed my uniform next to a rusty-red colored sweater of Jean-Paul's.
Jean-Paul stepped from the small bathroom to the main room as he flossed his teeth.
"Does anyone treat you differently now?" I asked.
"Where did that come from?" he asked, sounded a bit off-put by the question. I did have to admit that it came from left field.
I shrugged. "I was just wondering. I thought of it when I thought of you training in the Danger Room…I dunno. I was just thinking like if you ever got injured and whether anyone would freak out if you started to bleed."
It was his turn to shrug. "I do not really notice anyone treating me differently, and I would not care if they started to. You know, Bobby I know that you worry quite a bit about what others think of you, but me --- I decided at a very young age that I cannot live my life agonizing over people's opinions of me. If I did that, I would have gone crazy a long time ago. I do not care if anyone's bothered by the fact that I have HIV. That is their problem, not mine."
His words so sounded so well-rehearsed and I imagine that he had said them several times before. "Do you really feel that way?" I asked quietly. "I mean, deep down?" I asked this because really wanted to know. Jean-Paul occasionally displayed bravado (much less bravado, I am told, then he displayed when he was younger) and I often wondered how much of it was really him. And you see, I didn't quite believe that what he said was completely true. I remembered our encounters on An'zhina with a young homophobe named Todd. If Jean-Paul really didn't worry about what others thought, wouldn't he have reacted a little less strongly to Todd?
He looked into my eyes intently and for a split second, I thought he was really going to open up to me and I would get a glimpse of the workings of his mind. But instead he only cocked a half-smile, and reached to rumple my hair. "My beloved Bobby. Always wanting to figure everything out." I smiled at his words as my heart fell. Maybe parts of him would always be hidden to me. Sometimes that man was a total stranger.
He then changed the subject, sat down next to me on the bed, and we spoke about other things for a few minutes. We talked about little Rory's latest antics, about what we would do when we got to An'zhina, and we speculated as to what our favorite foe Todd was up to.
Suddenly, his eyes were studying me intently and I knew I had tears welling up inside mine. We stopped our chatter and my lips trembled. He gently brought a hand to my face and wiped the tear that had dropped from an eye.
"I know what you're thinking," he murmured.
"Do you?" I asked softly. I tried to gulp back more tears but was unsuccessful.
"It's okay," he said, bringing an arm around to caress my back. "You have been so strong and so supportive of me during this whole ordeal. And things aren't going to get better anytime soon. I know you feel the burden of everything you're bearing."
When he said those words, my heart lifted right back up. Maybe the two of us did have real intimacy if he realized this. He knew exactly what I had been thinking. I swallowed my tears and said, "I want to be strong for you, so that you can lean on me when you get down. And now I'm the one who's getting all emotional," I said, with that last sentence coming out with a sob despite my best efforts to stifle it. A few tears slipped out.
His free hand reached for one of mine and squeezed. "We are in for a long ordeal. I am sure that we each will take turns having good days and bad ones. Who knows how long I will be sick or if Hank shall ever find a cure? We are going to have to take each day as it comes, amour."
I nodded against him and let myself be enveloped by the warmth of his embrace. I rested my head on one of his strong shoulders. For a second, I wanted to tell him about the request I'd made of Scott and Jean earlier that day, of the small glimmer of hope this presented, but I held my tongue. Scott was sure to turn it down so why raise Jean-Paul's hopes? This portion I did need to continue to bear alone.
But there was one thing that I wanted to, and could, share. I got a hold of my tears and succeeded in gulping them back. "When I was growing up," I began, "I hated the fact that I was gay. I would've done anything to change it. I used to pray to God to `cure' me. I thought about suicide all the time. But Jean-Paul, I'm so glad that you're in my life and that I have the honor of being yours. I wouldn't change they way I am, not now -- not for anything in the galaxy."
*****************
The next morning, Jean Grey communicated telepathically with the Professor. The events of the previous day had occupied her mind and she fought to brush them to the side. //I will tell the other X-men what Psylocke and Marrow did.// Jean said. //They should be given a heads-up in case there are any ramifications, from the Endarians.//
//As well as in case the Pirates strike again.// the Professor added, using the appellation that Marrow and Psylocke had chosen for their group. //I sense no FOH ships in this area now, but they might send others to investigate….or to attack.//
//The fortunate thing is that Freedom is cloaked and that FOH doesn't stand a chance against the Endarians's defenses. But you're right that we must be vigilant. I will try to reach Betsy. I don't know if my luck will be any better than yours, but as you said, it's worth a try.//
***************
Jean's communication to the Professor had been overly optimistic. Psylocke telepathically responded to Jean, telling her only that she did not wish to be disturbed and reminding her that the X-men signed a non-interference agreement with the Pirates. Jean had no choice but to obey Psylocke's wish to be left alone.
Jean hoped that she might have better luck talking with her husband about a more pressing matter, the one which had been weighing so heavily on both of their shoulders since their meeting with Bobby the day before. When she had a moment alone, Jean sat quietly and prayed for guidance. She discussed their situation with no one, but she ruminated over it constantly.
It was not that Jean looked forward to the idea of her husband spending a night with another woman. The thought made her skin crawl and part of her still questioned whether this idea bordered on insanity. But the more she thought of it and placed herself in Bobby and Northstar's shoes, the more she tried to exercise compassion, the closer she came to deciding what they needed to do.
Of course the ultimate decision was up to Scott.
Jean decided to refrain from using her mindlink with Scott to test the waters and find out where he stood and whether his opinion had changed. The time for that was not right.
During lunch in the mess hall, Scott met Jean's look and said quietly, "Let's discuss it in our room tonight, after your bridge shift." Jean nodded.
By the time they put the kids down for the night, and both Charlotte and Christopher were sleeping peacefully, it had been about a day and a half since their awkward meeting with Bobby Drake the previous morning. Jean and Scott sat on the edge of the bed and faced each other. After a few moments of silence, they both laughed. "I can't believe we're having trouble thinking what to say to each other," Scott said. Incredulous as he was, he was still smiling.
"I know," Jean said, also smiling. "First time for everything, I guess."
"Well, why don't you go first," Scott suggested. "This is a decision we need to make together." He paused. "What would you do?"
"I've been thinking about it constantly," Jean said, knowing that the same was true of Scott. "And the more I think of it, I think it comes down to this. If our positions were reversed, I would ask Bobby and Northstar to do the same thing." She spoke calmly and evenly. "I think we need to do whatever it takes to save a teammate's life. Now this doesn't mean that I like it. You know that I don't like one bit. But we are talking a matter of life and death here."
Scott nodded, not looking at Jean. "I sensed that was how you felt," he said.
"You still don't think we should go along with it," Jean said, surmising as much from his tone of voice.
Scott began to speak slowly, "I understand that an X-man's life is at stake, but I just can't see myself going through with this." He paused and turned towards Jean. "But then I asked myself, many times, whether I would be able to live with myself if Northstar were to die. And I don't think that I could." He paused again. "Then I got to thinking whether there might be another way out of this."
"Another way?" Jean asked.
"Yes. I think I may've found one. Jean, think of it this way. Northstar's not sick now. He has the virus but he's not sick. What if we were to….give it some time? See how he holds up and whether Hank and Moira come up with a cure. If they don't and if he starts getting bad, then maybe we should consider talking to Marina. But why do it now, when he's basically healthy?"
Jean listened to her husband's idea and tossed it around. Could it work, what were the potential problems? "Hmmmmm…..I think it's a good idea," Jean began slowly, the wheels of her mind still turning. "The only thing that concerns me is….is instability. What if our situations change? What if, for example, the X-men are forced to some day leave Endaria? Or if we go on a mission and somehow get stuck somewhere for a long time, as we were in the Paradise Planet? Or what if Queen Marina drops dead tomorrow? We've lived through a lot of upheaval in our lifetimes and no future is certain."
Scott nodded. "That is a good point. We can't assume that we'll even have this home on An'zhina forever or that we'll always be within reach of Queen Marina to ask for her help."
"For all we know --- and considering how angry she now is over the ships that Betsy just blew up---- she might throw us all out of An'zhina some day. If that happened, Northstar would be a goner."
"Unless Hank or Moira somehow found a cure," Scott added. "But I see your point." He shook his head. "We've had practically nothing but turmoil in our lives. I thought the mansion would last forever, our days living and working there, defending mankind. It didn't work that way. The Queen told us that we'll have An'zhina forever too but…"
"But we've learned that we can't really count on `forever,'" Jean glumly finished for him. As much as she knew it was quite possible, the thought of someday having to leave An'zhina gave her chills. Ever since her parents and the rest of her biological family had come to An'zhina, the distant moon felt more and more like home. "And I think that's the attitude that Bobby's coming from. He knows things aren't permanent either. The safest thing to do is get the virus out of Northstar while we have access to someone who can do that." She said the last sentence with emphasis and finality.
"We can't count on Hank and Moira finding a cure, either," Scott realized glumly. "They're both very brilliant, but earth's best scientists tried for decades to wipe out this disease and haven't succeeded either."
"And besides," Jean began, "coming up with a cure is not quite like….like building a play set or fixing a broken engine. I'm no scientist but I gather that the process would involve lots of different tests and trials, treating Northstar with different drugs and seeing how he reacts. Even if Hank and Moira make some headway, the process of using drugs on Northstar and seeing how he reacts could be agonizing. He would be made into a guinea pig and it might all end up being for nothing. It might make things worse." She then reached for Scott's hand and held it. "I do like your idea of waiting and hoping, Scott. It makes sense, given that Northstar could be just fine and without any symptoms for years…but this plan of waiting does rely on a lot of `if's' and a lot more stability than we've ever seen in our lifetimes."
"And if something did happen to him because we waited….it's back to square one." He paused and sighed. "I don't know if I would be able to look myself in the mirror. Or if I would ever be able to look at Bobby again." Scott then turned to Jean and looked into her brilliant eyes. "But Jean, how could I look at **myself** in the mirror if I'm unfaithful to you? Part of me thinks I'm insane for even considering this. We swore vows to be true to each other."
"Yes, we did. But this is different than someone having an affair behind their spouse's back. You know that, Scott. Rules aren't absolute---especially not in a case like this, where someone's life is at stake."
Scott slowly nodded. "I guess a matter of life and death like this does supercede the vows we made." His words came out with a sigh, and Jean knew—without having to use their mindlink—that her husband had made up his mind.
There was silence in the room for a few moments. "Are you really okay with this?" Jean asked quietly.
"No. I don't think I can ever be 'okay' with this and I know you feel the same way. But I think we have no choice. And I keep remembering what you said. Our relationship is strong. It's been the most steady, most solid part of my life. It can survive this." Scott paused and then surprised Jean by reverting to lightheartedness. "When we get back to An'zhina, I'll ask Queen Marina. For all we know, she's no longer interested in me. Maybe she'll refuse it." Scott would have been only slightly embarrassed if Jean knew that deep down he hoped this was the case. Upon second thought, he realized that she probably **did** sense that.
"Or maybe she'll tell us that her scientists have no cure for HIV," she added. Jean doubted this, though. From what they had seen, the Endarians could do almost anything.
Minutes later, the lights were turned down and Scott and Jean settled in beneath the blankets. "I'll tell Bobby tomorrow morning," Jean said.
"He and Northstar are going to owe us for the rest of their lives," Scott muttered. A weary Jean was somewhat surprised to detect that Scott wasn't really kidding about Bobby and Northstar being in debited forever.
***************
Rogue and Gambit were sleeping in one morning, as they generally liked to do when neither of them had an early bridge duty shift. (And they tended to work with their teammates to ensure that they avoided the dreaded early-morning shifts.) Although half awake, the two languidly remained in bed with their arms around each other.
"If we were in Bayou country, chere, an' Gambit had all his money, we be livin' in our own mansion and we have a servant bring us coffee and sweet rolls and the paper," Gambit mumbled.
"Keep dreamin', Swamp Rat," Rogue smiled. "On board this damn freezin' ship, if we want any news, we gotta haul our asses to one of the computers and read it from there. And I don't think anyone's gonna bring us sweet rolls and coffee in bed. Though I bet if we asked him to, Bobby would. He's such a sweetie-pie."
"Remember the time he bring us dinner in dis room? For dat time we decide to have 'a date' on the ship?"
"Gotta love our Bobby," Rogue said, with undisguised and quite sincere affection in her voice.
Moments later, Rogue excused herself and headed for the washroom. Sure enough, those slight pains in her bowels had been what she knew them to be---a sign that her period was soon to start. The stain on her underwear now confirmed it. Rogue sighed as she unwrapped a tampon.
"What's wrong, chere?" Gambit asked when his wife had rejoined him in their bed.
She sighed and told him. "Looks like I ain't pregnant."
"Chere," Gambit chuckled, "we only jus' start tryin'. Dis could take weeks or months." He tenderly cupped her face. "It maybe even take a few years. We gotta be patient wit' dis 'cause dere ain't nothin' we can do to hurry Mot'er Nature along."
"I know. An' I guess you don't need to hear me bitchin' once a month till however long it takes. I'll try to be patient." She then smiled seeing the look on his face. "Yeah, Swamp Rat, I know…patience ain't one of my virtues!"
"Actually, I was smilin' 'cause I'm used to you gettin' testy once a month anyway."
Rogue playfully bopped him with a pillow. The couple giggled together as the chime to their door sounded.
"Who's dere?" Gambit asked, using the intercom that allowed them to communicate with someone standing in the hall.
"It's Bobby. Can I come in?"
Gambit and Rogue looked at each other. Bobby usually did not pay social calls in the middle of the morning. "Hang on a minute," Gambit said. He slipped out of bed and donned a pair of sweatpants. Rogue threw a robe on to cover the over-sized T-shirt and panties she wore.
"C'mon in," Rogue then said.
Bobby entered the room. Rogue asked, "Is anything wrong?" though the look on his face seemed to indicate that all was more than well.
"Oh, I---uh, sorry for bothering you so…um, early." Bobby looked at his timepiece. "Though we're only a like an hour and a half from lunchtime."
Gambit shrugged. "Is no secret. We like to sleep late." He eyed Bobby's appearance and took in the look on his friend's face. "You look happy. What's goin' on?"
"Oh, I just wanted to thank you guys. You'll never guess what happened this morning! During breakfast, Jean Grey pulls me aside. She tells me that Scott is going to….going to go along with the idea we talked about. He's going to ask Queen Marina for a cure for Northstar!"
"Really?" Rogue asked, her eyes wide. She shot a quick glance over at husband. She had to hand it to Remy. Rogue had bet him that Scott would never in a million years go along with this scheme. "You mean that he's actually gonna offer to sleep with her in exchange for the cure??"
"Yes! I know, I can't believe it either. I made Jean repeat it to me because I couldn't believe my ears. But isn't this amazing?? If Marina agrees to it and if they have a cure for AIDS---or can make one---then Jean-Paul really might be okay!"
Rogue and Gambit both rose from the bed and hugged their elated friend. "Dat's wonderful. Ole' One-Eye actually comin' drough for his team," Gambit said.
"I'm trying to keep my hopes from getting out of control," Bobby said. "I mean, like I said, it's still not a done deal here. But it does look very good."
"Bobby, we're so happy for you and Jean-Paul. And for ourselves," Rogue said. "Does Jean-Paul know?"
"No. He was in the Danger Room when Jean told me. I gotta go tell him. But I wanted to share it with you first since you gave me the idea." He paused. "Oh, uh, speaking of that….Jean asked that for now, we keep this very low-key and not tell anyone. If everything works out and Jean-Paul does get cured, obviously then we'll have to tell people something. But she asked that for now, I tell no one except Jean-Paul and Jeanne-Marie. But I had to tell you guys though, since you were the ones who gave me the idea for it."
Gambit nodded. Keeping this hush-hush would indeed be a struggle, especially if the plan was successful and Northstar was cured. And both Jeanne-Marie and Bobby were known to have somewhat loose lips when it came to gossip.
Bobby thanked the couple again and then bounded out of the room.
***************
I headed for the Danger Room next. I had kept this a secret from Jean-Paul because I had no idea whether Cyclops would actually agree to go along with this. But now that he had agreed and I had official permission to tell Jean-Paul, I could hardly wait to share. All this mental anguish over the past few weeks may have been for nothing----if a lot of "ifs" worked out okay. And imagine how thrilled Jeanne-Marie would be too!
When I entered the gym, Jean-Paul was just finishing up a session. I handed him a towel. "Bon jour," he greeted me. He gave me a peck on the cheek.
"Hi, love. You're done with your work-out?"
"Oui. It was a good one, too."
"Can we go somewhere to talk? I have something to discuss with you."
He seemed a bit taken aback, especially by how serious I was. "Sure. Is something wrong?"
"No, no, not at all. C'mon," I said. I led him out of the gym and to the greenhouse.
We stood facing each other and I told him. I gave him the whole story---my conversation with Scott and Jean, the waiting around for a day, and then Jean's talk with me at breakfast.
"Can you believe it?" I asked. "If Queen Marina agrees to it and if her scientists have a cure or can develop one….you'll be free of this disease!"
I'd never seen Jean-Paul looking so shocked. For a second, I saw something wild in his eyes and I feared some sort of negative reaction. But his wide-open mouth formed into a smile. He grabbed me and hugged me.
"This is incredible!" he said, sounding elated. "Incredible!"
I then repeated something I'd told him earlier: Jean said it was alright if we told Jeanne-Marie, but other than her, we had to keep it quiet for now.
"I cannot wait to tell her!" Jean-Paul said. "She will be so happy!" Jean-Paul then seemed to pause and reflect for a moment. He turned to me and said, "Jesus Christ. Can you imagine what Scott is going to go through for us? For me! We are going to be in debt to Scott Summers for all of eternity."
I nodded. "Yeah. But what else can we do?" I asked, shrugging. "So we're in his debt. I don't think he's the type who'd throw it around and abuse it." At least I hoped not. But I did try to appreciate what this would mean for him. Rumor had it that Scott had never slept with anyone except Jean. What he would be doing with Marina was obviously going to be a big deal.
"I hope not."
There was silence for a second. I then said, "I'm glad we're so close to Endaria now, and I think I'll spend the rest of the trip in my quarters. How the hell am I supposed to keep this a secret from Jubilee or Dani….or **Hank**?? He's like my best friend and he's working day and night on a cure!"
"It's okay, Bobby. Maybe it is good for Hank to continue his research. Marina might not have a cure of any sort."
I put a hand on his shoulder. "That's one thing we gotta be real clear on when we tell Jeanne-Marie about this. This might not exactly work out. I can't stand the thought of her getting her hopes up and…." I let my voice trail off.
"I was thinking the same thing. Let us think of how to break the news to Jeanne-Marie."
And so we talked about it for a while before summoning her to the greenhouse. I suppose I don't need to say that she was euphoric. We were very clear that this plan relied on a lot of factors outside of our control, to which Jeanne-Marie replied, "No one knows better than I that nothing in life is guaranteed." But still, at the prospect of her brother recovering from HIV, Jeanne-Marie cried with joy which somehow prompted me to join her. The three of us stood in the greenhouse like forever, in a three-way hug.
This trip had been a rollercoaster of emotions. I had no idea how things would play out either, but I can say that up to that point, I'd never felt closer to Jeanne-Marie than when the three of us stood around hugging and crying in the greenhouse. I'd never felt more like the three of us were family.
****************
Believe it or not, I managed to get through the rest of the trip without spilling the beans to anyone else. Shocking, I know.
It **was** hard. I was wracked with guilt, especially over not telling Hank. Hank sat in that laboratory morning, noon and night searching for a cure. While I knew what Jean-Paul told me the other day was correct (it still was a good idea for him to keep researching a cure, who knew if Marina would or could really help us?), that still didn't change things. I felt terrible. I mainly avoided the lab so I could avoid Hank. And needless to say, I could barely make eye contact with Panda when I saw her at mealtime or in the Danger Room either. It didn't take a genius to see that she wasn't happy with the amount of time her husband spent away from her.
I ended up spending most of my time in my room (perhaps everyone thought I was depressed, which was fine) when I wasn't in the Danger Room or working on karate with Wolverine. Finally, we were landing the ship on An'zhina.
****************
As they walked down Freedom's ramp, the X-men wearily carried their belongings with them. Several of the citizens of An'zhina were on hand to assist. With dilithium supplies having dwindled, using the transporter to move things would have been wasteful.
The X-men were tired because according to the schedule kept on board the starship, it was very late in the night (actually, very early in the morning.) On An'zhina, however, it was just around dinnertime. As much as the starship crew attempted to keep their internal clocks in synch with time on An'zhina, doing so was nearly impossible.
"I hope you'll be awake enough for the party we planned," Angel said to his fellow X-men as they walked from the ship's ramp to the main building. The setting was a little chaotic with the An'zhinans swarming around the X-men, greeting old friends and trying to help them disembark.
"Gambit's up for a party," Gambit responded to Angel's comment.
"You're always up for one," Rogue laughed, shaking her head. She decided that she could attend a party but she'd definitely need a good drink with caffeine to help keep her energy up.
Professor Xavier's hoverchair stood at the rim of Freedom's ramp. He greeted each of his students as they walked by. He silently rejoiced at their return, at seeing each one of them. The loss of Colossus still stung, and it was a relief to be able to look upon the faces of each X-man once again.
Storm and Wolverine entered the main complex, walking side by side as each carried their personal items. Storm eyed the smooth walls of the halls, some of them dark and rich like maple and others textured like fine marble. She breathed in deeply.
"The air's much better here," Wolverine said.
"Yes," Storm replied. Her cheeks were a bit flushed. A warm evening on An'zhina was smiling on the X-men, all of whom (even Storm) had grown accustomed to a chilly starship. "I can hardly wait to spend some time at the beach too." She then started to say something but stopped. She and Wolverine had reached the corridor of the X-men's quarters.
"You got everything from the ship?" Wolverine asked.
"I need to make one more trip," Storm said.
"C'mon. I'll go with you. Lemme set this stuff down first."
Wolverine's room was a few doors down from Storm's. He entered his room and dumped his baggage onto the bed. Storm did the same thing with her own items. Apparently, she thought to herself, they would continue to maintain separate rooms, just as they did aboard Freedom. `It does make sense,' she told herself. `It's good to have some space.' Besides, it would not preclude them from sharing a bed and falling asleep together, as they did about half the time. Storm reached for a holder and placed her hair into a ponytail, looking forward to feeling warmth hitting the back of her neck.
Storm and Wolverine then met in the hall again and headed back for Freedom. He reached for her hand and they held hands as they walked. During the short trip back to the vessel, they ran into and greeted several acquaintances. Many noted that the two were holding hands but refrained from comment.
"An'zhina. This place feels so much like home to me," Storm said, as they neared the starship. It loomed large ahead of them, and they walked up the ramp together. They passed the Grey family, who were assisting Jean and Scott with carrying the many toys and other baby items that belonged to Charlotte and Christopher. "It feels strange to say that, because my real home is in Africa. But I feel so comfortable here too."
Wolverine grunted a reply, which Storm was fairly sure meant that he agreed he had homey feelings towards An'zhina (probably not as strong as Storm's) while also feeling some confusion over the true location of home.
"You wanna go to the party?" Wolverine asked her when they had finished carrying the rest of her items to her room on An'zhina.
"I would like to go. I am a little tired but I am fairly invigorated from being back here, so I think I am up for it. What about you?"
"I ain't really tired. I ain't feelin' too social either but I do wanna say hi to a few of 'em."
"Then let's go to the party, at least for a little."
They headed in the direction of the music and other commotion. The large rec room was merrily decorated with balloons and streamers, An'zhina's resident deejay Russ was spinning tunes, a few adventures souls were already dancing on the dance floor, and numerous delectable desserts and drinks were ready for consumption.
In speaking with various citizens of An'zhina, Storm and Wolverine found that their haven had been experiencing a renaissance of sorts. With so many of the An'zhinians now gradually recovering from their harrowing experiences in the FOH camps, they had started turning their attentions to other matters -- such as building a community. During the X-men's absence, various people on An'zhina had formed: volleyball and softball "leagues", cooking classes (instead of replicating complete meals, they replicated only the ingredients and also used vegetables from the gardens to cook with), book discussion groups (using books that the Endarians let them replicate), a "bad art" club (the members met periodically to create whatever pieces of "art" they desired, giving themselves permission to make junk), a dance hall (which housed not only dance lessons but also more informal dances, with Russ serving as DJ), religious and spiritual groups serving many different religious persuasions, yoga classes and assorted other exercise classes (sometimes guided by those who were as amateur as the participants), and a few venturous souls were even talking about starting a newsletter. These events and groups flourished, though many of the rescuees logged a lot of time in counseling and self-esteem building workshops too.
"Mmmmm," Storm sighed, biting into a chocolate brownie with frosting. It was moist and chewy, and delicious despite having come from a replicator. In order to save dilithium, the X-men had been parsimonious about limiting the amount of junk food they made on board the ship---it had been quite some time since Storm had eaten a treat such as this. The piece she'd taken was small and Storm finished it with just a few bites.
"Oh!" she softly exclaimed at feeling a tongue against her skin. Wolverine licked the side of her face.
"You had some frosting there, darlin'," he said, with a slight grin.
Storm smiled and felt her face grow warm again. A new sort of delicious feeling started to come over her, a sensation even better than eating the brownies. Wolverine then reached for one of her hands and licked the remaining frosting off of her fingers. He placed the tip of one of her fingers between his teeth and bit down, ever so slightly, knowing she enjoyed that.
"Oh my, Logan," Storm whispered sensuously. "If you continue doing this, I am going to want to leave the party with you right away." She felt quite giddy at what he was doing, especially given that the rec room was full of people. Logan was generally not one for public displays of affection. This was a rare treat.
They sat together for a little while longer. Soon, however, Jubilee entered the rec room with her daughter Aurora and with Dani Moonstar. The two-year old spotted Wolverine and Storm, and bounded right over to them. Storm leaned forward and lifted the girl onto her lap. Rory was clutching her gray stuffed elephant, Ellie.
"I know, I know," Jubilee said, walking up towards the couple and sounding just a bit defensive. "She probably should be sleeping now. But I can't get her to calm down with all the commotion going on. She wants to be down here, playing with everyone."
"You do not need to explain that to us," Storm said simply and evenly. "We understand. One late night certainly can't hurt Rory either."
"She's right," Dani said, looking at Jubilee. "You don't need to keep comparing her to Scott and Jean's kids, Jubilee," Dani said soothingly. "Rory's doing just fine."
"Yeah, I know. It's just that…." Jubilee broke her sentence off, upon spotting Lisman and Siryn. A frown came over her face and she felt a need to put some more physical distance between herself and the man who had dumped her.
"Uh, would you mind keeping an eye on her?" Jubilee asked Storm and Wolverine.
"Not at all," Storm replied.
"Thanks, guys." Jubilee and Dani soon headed off towards the drink area, a comfortable distance away from Lisman.
Little Aurora wanted some action, so Wolverine bounced her on his knees, much to the merriment of the girl. The couple happily played with her until she spotted another adult she knew and bounded over towards them.
"I love that child," Storm murmured.
"Me too," Wolverine said.
Storm looked down at her hands and folded them in her lap. "Do you want kids, Logan?"
He shrugged and looked at her. His words were matter-of-fact as always; not at all harsh. "I thought you said you can't have `em." When the two had first begun their relationship, she had shared with him the fact that she had never become pregnant, even despite periods of sexual activity without her having used birth control. And during the time that Storm and Wolverine had been together, they had never used any form of contraception either. Storm had never been examined to see whether or not she truly was infertile, but such was the inevitable conclusion. Besides, she was not that young anymore either.
"I cannot," Storm confirmed. "But I was wondering if you missed not having them."
"Kids are a lot of work. I like bein' an Uncle instead."
"I, too. Being an Aunt, I mean. Every now and then, I get a small craving for a child of my own, but it always passes." She looked at his face and tried to read his expression. She guessed that perhaps, if the opportunity were available, he might like to be a father someday. But ever a realist, he was okay with the fact that as long as he and Storm were together, he would not have children of his own. He probably truly **was** alright with that, Storm guessed. But then she started to second guess that. True, Logan had never **said** anything about wanting children but with Logan, actions generally spoke louder than words and he was such a natural when he played with the kids.
`Ah well. I cannot speculate about this anymore, and there is nothing I can do about it either,' she said to herself.
A slim woman in her forties approached the sofa on which Storm and Wolverine sat. "Excuse me," she said, speaking in a British accent. It was Agata, the former dance teacher who had spent weeks conducing a class in salsa lessons for the other An'zhinians. "Storm, I wanted to let you know that I will be beginning a new class on Friday. I plan to teach a variety of dance styles, though primarily Latin --- my specialty. If people are interested, I might throw in some ballroom dancing too though."
"Yes, I saw the notice you had up on the bulletin board," Storm said. "I look forward to attending your class."
"That is wonderful! You seemed to really enjoy the salsa dancing and I am sure you'll like this as well."
Agata then scampered off to continue spreading the word about her classes. Her first round had been a big hit on An'zhina.
"You want a partner for the class?"
At first, Storm didn't believe her ears. She then realized that she must have misconstrued the intent in Wolverine's question. "Well, of course, these classes are easier with a partner, but I could attend solo. I did that for the salsa dancing." She paused. "You weren't offering to partner with me for these dances, were you?"
"Yep. I was."
Storm's eyes were wide. "Really? Oh, Logan. I—I would like that very much."
"Okay. I'll put on my dancin' shoes."
Storm tried to repress a smile. Unsure of what to say or how to thank him, she reached for Logan and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.
Storm surmised that this had to be his way of saying that he loved her. It was not often that he said those words—quite rarely, in fact---but, again, Logan was a man of action and not words. Only for a woman he loved would he make this offer. `Perhaps I truly am not a mere Jean-substitute….'
They left the party not too long afterwards, in favor of the beach. Only a few An'zhinans were frolicking in the water at this time, though Storm and Wolverine weren't sure why----they soon found that the water was pleasantly warm. She flew them to a deserted portion of the beach where they stripped off their clothing and plunged into the water.
"This was a great idea, darlin'," Wolverine said. He inhaled sharply, taking in the scent of the outdoors----the air that surrounded them, the water they were immersed in, and the sand underneath their feet. It was more delicious to his nose than any confection the food replicator could make.
"You love the smell of this clean air, don't you?" Storm asked.
"Uh-huh. Out of everythin' on this place, I like the air the best." Logan paused. "No, that ain't what I meant to say. I like you the best." She met his gaze and smiled. The words were sincere and sounded awkwardly touching---for a second, Logan had sounded like a teenager trying to woo his high school sweetheart. Storm loved it.
Wolverine then looked up towards the heavens. Several of Endaria's other moons were visible to the naked eye from there and the view was awe-inspiring. The large planet of Endaria itself seemed to engulf the sky in a blue-green haze. "Can't believe I'm standin' here so far from earth and I feel so at home."
Storm went up to Logan and embraced him, feeling his damp and hairy chest against her smooth skin. She knew that he understood she felt the same way about An'zhina; therefore, she decided no more words were needed. He reached for her chin and with always-surprising gentleness, brought her face to his for a kiss. Storm savored the kiss.
Soon Logan changed from subtlety to a more aggressive approach and he was nibbling on her neck, and then tonguing her ear. They had not headed to the beach exactly planning on making love there, but she was happy to go with the flow on this. Storm wrapped her legs around Wolverine, wondering how—after all this time together---he managed to arouse her so quickly. The turn their relationship had recently taken, admitting to each other the fact that they loved each other, explained a lot though she had to admit she enjoyed it when he demonstrated how much he desired her too.
"Here?" Storm whispered, her voice a question mark.
He tilted his head back and this time took a very pointed sniff of the air. "We're alone. Ain't no one in the surroundin' area."
"Perhaps something quick then?" she suggested.
The sound of her voice and the suggestion it carried, he found incredibly stimulating. Logan nodded. "I like that. Though later on I wanna make love to you properly."
"You shall get no objections from me on that idea," Storm murmured, reaching in for another kiss. "However, a fast encounter can have its own pleasures too."
Wolverine reached a hand towards one of Storm's thighs. "I love your legs," he growled. "I love feelin' 'em wrapped around me."
Their kisses soon turned frantic. Logan took her firm bottom in his hands and squeezed the flesh, eliciting a moan from her. His groin ached already and he could tell from the way she was moving her hips against his body that she was ready, or soon would be. She gripped his shoulders firmly, enjoying the feeling of his rippling muscles.
Suddenly, his ears perked up and he turned his head away, taking another sniff of the air.
"Company?" Storm asked.
"'Bout a half mile down that way," he estimated, "and headin' towards us."
"Not a problem," Storm said, leaning back a little from Wolverine so she could take a majestic sweep of an arm. "I call upon the element of fog," she declared, her voice attaining regal heights. "Shield us from onlookers!"
Soon, the beach area was swathed in dense fog, reducing visibility to almost nothing. Storm jumped back into Wolverine's arms and in one swift motion, impaled herself on his raging hardness. His eyes widened with surprise at her speed.
Wolverine and Storm both knew they were going to have a difficult time explaining this to someone, should anyone ask why fog appeared out of nowhere that night.
**************
Back at the celebration in the rec room, the party was showing signs of winding down. Very few X-men remained at the celebration; most had allowed their fatigue to get the best of them and retired to their rooms for the night.
Jubilee's daughter Aurora was sleeping on a corner of one sofa. Jubilee and Moonstar sat nearby, facing each other on two barstools as they sipped fruit-flavored drinks.
"She seemed to have a good time tonight," Jubilee said, cocking her head in Rory's direction.
Dani nodded, looking at Jubilee and feeling her heart pounding. "I think so. Did **you** have a good time tonight?"
"Yeah. It's always great to be back on An'zhina---especially after all we went through to get here and all the uncertainty we had. And it's really cool to hear about all the neat stuff they're starting up here too. I think might join the Bad Art club." She paused. "But I wish that Bobby had been at the party and that Rogue and Gambit had stayed for longer. They're always so much fun."
"I think Bobby's a stitch," Moonstar agreed. "When he's in a good mood, he's hilarious. Remember that time we played True Confessions in Bobby and Northstar's room?" she asked, giggling.
"That was great," Jubilee agreed, though the amount of alcohol she had imbibed that night limited her memories of that particular party. Jubilee then shook her head. "But I can't believe Lisman and Siryn tonight. What nerve." Earlier in the evening, Jubilee's ex-boyfriend and his current girlfriend and strode up to Jubilee and said the usual, 'Hi, how are yous' as if nothing had transpired between them. Jubilee had swallowed her latent hurt and played nice, though part of her wanted to use her powers and blast both members of the couple with pyrotechnics.
"Yeah, what the hell?" Dani murmured in agreement. Dani sat across from her friend, just gazing at Jubilee's face. Were the men on An'zhina just blind to Jubilee's obvious charms? She was adorably beautiful, Dani mused, if that wasn't too much of a contradiction. Jubilee had an impish, playful nature, her eyes and her smile shone, and the nose was as cute as a button. Jubilee had a heart of gold, too. Dani hadn't known the teenager Jubilee when she'd joined the X-men, though she had heard many stories. This Jubilee was older and wiser, with some obvious signs of the pain she had endured in her lifetime. She had a mature sheen to her now, though her true spirit had not been broken.
She was in Dani's thoughts all the time. Just thinking about Jubilee brought a smile to Moonstar's face. She looked at Jubilee's smile and longed to be able to someday kiss those lips.
Dani vowed to get up her nerve soon.
***************
Mark Burroughs and Hector Rendoza had also attended the "Welcome Home" party for the X-men. The two were still good friends. It had been their "outsider" status which had brought them together as friends in the first place. However, Hector's diligent training and his work in the lab with Hank and Panda meant Hector's confidence was growing in direct proportion to his acceptance within the X-men. Mark, on the other hand, felt his alienation and self-disgust still simmering. He was continuously mortified by his mistake in engineering which had wiped out the X-men's supply of dilithium. Mark tended to keep to himself nowadays; Hector had been surprised that Mark wanted to attend the party.
Mark and Hector made a bad judgement call during the party. While standing near the bar area and thinking no one else was within earshot, they spoke in hushed whispers regarding Northstar's HIV status. They said nothing negative about Northstar; they just expressed concern for Bobby's and Jeanne-Marie's mental conditions should Northstar die soon.
The two were unaware that Todd had been crouching down behind the bar, searching for a contact lens, and had overheard everything.
***************
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