THE HEAVENS OPEN
By Stormkeeper (stormkpr@usa.net)
I wish to thank my beta tester Leigh for assisting with every aspect of my writing.
CHAPTER SEVEN
************
Jean-Paul and I were sitting on one of the large porch swings in the back of the main complex, just enjoying being outside in this gorgeous place. We had both finished our morning Danger Room sessions and were enjoying a rest. I liked how I felt after a good workout. It was always tough during the exertion but I loved the feeling of energy I had afterwards, and the awareness of my breathing. I sometimes felt after a workout that I could just feel the blood and the energy pumping through me.
Scott and Jean walked from the building onto the porch, and went right up to us. Their faces were unreadable. We exchanged stiffly polite hellos. Scott then quietly said, "Can we go talk somewhere in a private place?
Maybe I'm a pessimist, but I immediately assumed that something was wrong. As we got up and walked towards one of the meeting rooms, a bunch of thoughts careened through my mind. The most prevalent one, though, was the idea that perhaps Scott was deciding to back out and not ask the Queen. We didn't talk as we walked, and I sneaked a glance at both Scott and Jean quickly. This time all I could say about their facial expressions was that neither looked happy.
We entered a room, Scott closed the door behind us, and we sat down around the table. Obviously there was no need for small talk, so Scott just jumped right into it. "I spoke with Queen Marina this morning. She said she will provide a cure for you, Northstar. She's agreed to it in exchange for….what we talked about earlier."
I was so surprised and so elated that I don't really recall all of what happened next. Just a few bits and pieces. I remember Jean-Paul looking a bit shocked and a bit like a man who just received a reprieve of his death sentence. I remember him thanking Scott (and Jean) profusely, and me doing the same. I remember the awkwardness of it all and me thinking that things would never be the same between me and Scott and Jean. Not that things had ever been all that good between me and Scott. But Jean and I had been friends. Looking at her, though, I wondered if it was all over. I don't know. They weren't pleased with what Scott had to do, obviously.
Scott and Jean said Jean-Paul would go to the Endarians on next Tuesday for the cure. I recalled calculating in my head that that was ten days away. Scott then said, "I think we should tell Hank and Moira that they can stop working on a cure, if they want to."
I remembered nodding in response and saying, "Poor Hank's been at it constantly. He needs a break."
"I'll tell them," Scott said. He started to sit up, as if to leave, but then sat back down. He said, "Like I said before, I want this kept quiet. I'm not going to tell Hank **how** we're going about getting a cure."
"I think it is a good idea to keep it quiet," Jean-Paul said. "Especially until I am actually cured." He paused. "May I tell my sister now? I at least want her to know that I will be getting cured."
"Of course."
Jean looked at us. "What do we do once you are cured?" She then looked at her husband. "I mean, once he's cured, people will to wonder why."
Scott nodded, his gaze in Jean-Paul's direction. "By now, it seems that half the people on this moon know….know about your HIV status."
"Yep," I said, "thanks to Todd." I was sure, at that point, that not half but **all** of the An'zhinians knew. "I'd sure like to know how the hell he found out about it," I added.
Jean-Paul and I had mulled over that question many times. We couldn't really imagine that any of our fellow X-men would break our confidence like this and blab to Todd, of all people. But there were a few possible explanations we came up with. One possibility: Hank and Moira had a few medical assistants in the lab---in addition to Panda and Hector, on An'zhina there was a young man named Ramon, there was Colossus's former girlfriend Elena, and maybe a few others. Perhaps one of them saw what they were working on and drew a few conclusions.
Or maybe the explanation was as innocuous as Todd having overheard someone discussing the matter.
There was one other possibility that gave me pause. I hated to contemplate it, but I had to. Were the X-men really as tight as I wished we were? I mean, maybe there were a few X-men who didn't like Jean-Paul or I so much and didn't care if the secret got out. There were some X-men I simply didn't know as well, some who I wasn't as close with. Like, how well did I really know Cannonball or Hector? And Mark wasn't an X-man but he had been on board Freedom with us and he knew that Jean-Paul had HIV. I didn't really think that Mark was the gossiping type----but who really knew?
Last time we ruminated over it, Jean-Paul shared this theory with me. He felt it was simply a matter of the grapevine at work. He said that perhaps Moira and Banshee mentioned it to their daughter Siryn, and that she let the secret out. Or that maybe it was someone in Jean Grey's family….Jean must have told her parents and sister, and then they maybe told Gail and Joe. So perhaps one of the youngsters spilled the beans. Or it could've been good old Warren Worthington. If Jean had shared the secret with her family, then her sister Sara knew, and if Sara knew, certainly she'd told her boyfriend. Warren and I had never liked each other and I think he's a not-so-closeted homophobe, so it would make sense that he could've been spreading the word. It even could've been Shaman telling his wife and daughter, and one of them mentioning it to others.
"Or it could've been all of the above," I'd added, when he spoke about this.
But anyway, I'm digressing from our meeting with Scott and Jean. Scott basically decided that we wouldn't, at this point, tell anyone the how and why of the Endarians curing Jean-Paul. We'd just keep it quiet for now (except for telling Hank and Moira, obviously) and then maybe after Jean-Paul was cured, tell the other X-men that the Endarians had granted us a cure.
"Other than Jeanne-Marie and Hank, I want this kept quiet," Scott said. "It's embarrassing enough as it is." He looked at me and spoke with intensity, "And I mean it, Bobby. I don't want you going off and telling Rogue and Gambit and Jubilee and Dani Moonstar. Keep this quiet." He particularly emphasized that last sentence, saying each of the three short words slowly.
His voice had been harsh and biting. But could I blame him? He and Jean were making a tremendous personal sacrifice to save Jean-Paul's life. And I had been the one to beg them to do this. "I understand, Scott. I will be quiet." Damn. I was just going to have to avoid seeing all those people he named for ten days. Wow. Not an easy task at all. Maybe Jean-Paul and I could fly to the other end of the moon and bunk up in the cabin where Rogue and Gambit had spent their honeymoon.
***************
An exceptionally beautiful day was smiling on An'zhina. The weather on the moon rarely wasn't idyllic but this day was particularly stunning. Along with the usual warm (but not overly hot or humid) temperatures and sunny skies, various hues of pink and red were streaking across the sky. The vibrant colors stood out against the fluffy clouds.
"What is that?" Sam Guthrie asked Hector Rendoza, gesturing up at the skies, as the two young men took their lunch trays outside. They were making their way towards one of the picnic tables behind the main complex, to enjoy their meal outside.
"Those bright colors in the sky?" Wraith asked. "Beast explained it to me once. Some sort of natural phenomenon he read about here. I didn't understand a word of his explanation though. That guy's just too brilliant."
"Hey, speaking of Hank---look who's over there."
Sam gestured at a picnic table which was occupied by none other than Beast and Panda. Upon spotting them, Sam thought they two would want their privacy but Hank had happened to look up and catch Sam's eye. He waved the two of them over.
"Now who the heck let you out of the lab?" Sam joked. "I can't believe you're not working away right now."
Sam and Hector set their trays down at the table, and took their places with Panda and Hank. "It does feel good to be outside, experiencing the fresh air," Hank admitted.
Panda smiled at Sam and Hector, and then silently berated herself for her anger at the intrusion. She could scarcely remember the last time that she and Hank had been able to enjoy some time alone. Of course, they did choose to sit outdoors where many others were enjoying their lunches too, but still. She vowed that tonight she and Hank would have dinner in their quarters, alone and uninterrupted.
"Well, I'm glad you decided to take a break," Hector said. "You sure deserve it."
Hank smiled and nodded. He wasn't quite sure how to reply. That morning, Jean Grey had entered the infirmary and informed Hank that Queen Marina had agreed to look into getting Northstar cured, and that in all likelihood that cure would be ready in a matter of weeks. Jean had been fuzzy on the specifics but Hank's overtired mind was too weary to argue with her. He agreed to take a break. He knew he needed to, as he had been grossly neglecting his wife.
The group was quiet for a bit as they set about eating their lunches. "I can't imagine celebrating Christmas in all this heat and without any snow," Hector said.
Panda furrowed her brow. "Where did that come from?" she asked. She'd missed whatever train of thought had gotten Wraith on to talking about a holiday back on earth.
"Oh, didn't you see the announcement on the bulletin board? The group decided to celebrate Christmas. They picked a date like four weeks from now to do it." He added wryly, "Felice Navidad."
"`Cept we ain't supposed to call it 'Christmas'," Sam reminded Hector. "It's bein' called The Holiday instead 'cause a lot of people here ain't Christian."
"Oh yeah….I remember there being talk about celebrating Christmas—or another holiday like it," Panda said. "I think it's a good idea, if for no other reason than the children." She instinctively looked down at and then patted her pregnant belly.
"Speakin' of which, how's the little one?" Sam asked, his eyes following Panda's hand gesture.
"Everything's going well. I still feel fine, and the latest ultrasound showed that everything is basically looking normal and healthy."
"Rob is due to arrive in approximately 11-12 weeks," Hank added, using the appellation he and Panda had agreed upon for their son. As they had announced to the other X-men, he would be named after Bobby Drake. However Panda had suggested to Hank that to avoid confusion, the child be called Rob. (And she had insisted upon "Rob", rather than a diminutive such as "Robbie.")
"Hey, back to talking about Christmas—or The Holiday," Panda began, "I also remember there being talk about celebrating some other holidays from earth. Have you heard anything about that?"
"Oh yeah," Hector said, "the bulletin board also said we'd be celebrating Parents' Day – they combined Mothers' and Fathers' Day – and celebrating Valentine's Day. I don't remember when, but it wasn't anytime soon."
"Valentine's Day, eh?" Panda asked, raising her eyebrows and turning to face Hank. He returned her look and reached to hold one of her hands.
"What a splendid idea, to revive that holiday," Hank said.
Panda nodded her agreement, her heart longing for the days when Hank would leave love notes and handwritten poetry under her door. Those days were but a fond memory.
The conversation eventually drifted. Out of the corner of his eye, Sam spotted Todd working away. As part of his punishment for the graffiti in Bobby's room, he was performing "community service." Todd held a tub and was collecting people's trays, plates, and silverware. He was also disposing of their garbage.
"Well, I'm glad that Todd's finally doing something useful," Panda smirked, following the direction of Sam's gaze.
"I can't believe what that pendejo did," Hector muttered. "You can't just go into someone's room like that."
"How's Bobby doing?" Sam asked. "I mean, are he and Northstar pretty freaked out over it?"
"I do not know," Hank said. "I have not been able to spend as much time with my friend as I would like." He spoke the truth; he missed Bobby. Bobby had been nowhere in sight during the morning when Hank had been reprieved of spending all hours in the lab. And though Hank greatly looked forward to spending some one-on-one time with his best friend, he knew that he had been neglecting Panda and that his duty to her had to come first.
"I saw him and Northstar yesterday—I worked on the garden with them for a bit," Hector said. "They seemed just fine." He paused. "Wolverine came by for a little too. He ate a tomato off the vine. Said it's way better than anything the food replicators make."
"Poor Wolverine," Panda murmured, shaking her head. "He is so restless. You can tell he just wants to get back in that starship and return to earth."
"He requires more action," Hank observed, "and the ability to make a difference for the mutants back on earth."
"So when we ever gonna head back for earth?" Cannonball asked. He missed his parents and sister greatly.
"Well, you heard the results of the X-men leadership's last meeting," Panda said. All the X-men were debriefed, of course, following the team leader meetings. "We don't have enough dilithium to go anywhere. Unless someone gives us some, we're stuck." She spoke the truth. To Panda it also seemed that, with the exception of Wolverine, the X-men were content to remain on An'zhina and take a break for the time being. She had to admit that she herself preferred it here as well.
"Space is cold. And huge and unfriendly," Sam murmured, echoing her thoughts. "I can see why no one's banging down the door to think of way to get back out there." In a way, he wasn't either. He knew, from talking to all of the X-men and hearing of their adventures prior to when he joined the team, that each time you ventured out into space, you ran a huge risk. As much as he wanted to see his family again, travelling through space would never be easy or natural for him.
"And what was with that place we got the last bit of dilithium from?" Wraith asked. "It just was creepy. Rogue and Gambit coming back looking so dazed, some powerful guy that Jean couldn't even sense, and then us leaving a shuttle back there." He shook his head. "Feels like a weird dream to me now."
"If and when we do acquire more dilithium, we must return to that planet," Hank said. "Although we were desperate at the time, I fear that leaving a shuttle from earth in their hands may have been a grave error."
************
One afternoon, Wolverine was conducting one of his martial arts classes. As always, his student body consisted of Jubilee, Dani Moonstar, and Bobby. Dani was showing a great deal of potential and, although a beginner, progressing rapidly. Jubilee and Bobby were already at a level of proficiency.
Wolverine sat back and watched Bobby perform the moves. The younger man had come so far and improved so much, but Wolverine still saw room for improvement. He wanted Bobby to be able to do well. He wanted Bobby strong, able to defend himself. He went up to Bobby and instructed him some more, correcting his form. Logan's voice was firm and demanding, but not without a hint of kindness either.
During the past several days, Logan's mind had been bringing up old memories. They were memories of the most unpleasant sort, ones which he would almost prefer were locked away. Although decades of his past were forever lost to him, there were periods of time that Logan remembered more clearly --- years prior to Weapon X.
Most of all, he remembered the concentration camps. He could not drive them out of his memory. The emaciated bodies; the men, women and children; the shaved heads; the hollow eyes; the stench of burned flesh. "Are those **people**?" one of his fellow soldiers, a young man no older than 18, had asked incredulously. They had known to expect the worst when they reached the camps, but never in his most ghastly nightmare had he imagined it would be this horrifying. There simply were no words to describe it. Those images were forever branded into Logan's mind. The fact that he and his fellow soldiers had successfully liberated the camp provided little solace. He had dim memories of loading the survivors onto trucks and trains, providing them with food and medical care.
Logan remembered one other thing from that day. Not all of the concentration camp survivors were rescued. One barrack housed about 150 men, and they all had pink triangles on their uniforms. Logan heard his superior say that those with the pink triangles were "queer." The decision was made to leave those 150 behind. Leave them behind to, apparently, starve to death and waste away in the soon-to-be abandoned concentration camp. "We'll let them serve out the rest of their sentence," the officer had said.
Logan never questioned that order.
He wanted Bobby to be strong, to be able to fight and protect himself without relying on his mutant powers. He would work with Bobby as much as possible. Logan wanted an end to his own guilt too.
**************
"You are a woman of many talents," Dani Moonstar remarked to Jubilee one day. They had just finished up a music lesson which took place inside Moonstar's room. Little Aurora was being babysat by one of the other X-men.
"Ya think so?" Jubilee asked, sounding skeptical. The two friends were sitting side by side on the bed.
"Yeah! You're learning to play flute very well, you've impressed **Wolverine** with how much you can do in karate, you kick butt in the Danger Room, and on top of that, you're a mother too."
Jubilee listened to the words but, as so many people did, she allowed the compliments to bounce off of her. None of them got through. "I don't know that I'm doing such a hot job at motherhood," she muttered.
"Are you kidding? I think you're doing an amazing job raising Aurora by herself. She's a bright little kid, talkative, playful…."
"Well, I can't say I'm exactly raising her by myself. All the others have been pitching in since the get-go." What Jubilee said was true. The X-men had all remained faithful to their promise of assisting Jubilee with the difficult work of parenthood. If she needed a few hours to pursue her hobbies or just to rest, she simply called one of the others, and they temporarily would take over parental duties. The system worked well for everyone, and allowed Jubilee her free time and her sanity. Aurora had no complaints either; she loved her aunts and uncles though "Mommy" was clearly her favorite.
"Well, yeah, that's the way it should be," Dani said. "What was that saying….`It takes a village to raise a child' or something like that?"
Jubilee absentmindedly nodded as she reached to place her flute back inside of its case. Dani watched her, trying to suppress the look of awe in her eyes. She loved looking at Jubilee's petite little hands, so small and yet—as she'd witnessed many times---so strong. It took every fiber of restraint in Dani's body to keep from taking one of those hands and kissing it.
Before their music session today, Moonstar had spent a lot of time surveying her own appearance in the mirror. She wished that she were prettier. `The lips are too thin and the mouth just too small for the face,' Dani had thought. `A few teeth are crooked and I need more of a chin. My eyes are too close together and too small.' She knew that she was not as pretty as the other X-women and never would be, and the realization stung her.
"Hey, Dani," Jubilee began quietly, "I got something to tell you."
Moonstar's heart stopped. She fought to contain her excitement. `It is true, then,' she thought. 'She feels the same way I do!'
"I've never told anyone this before," Jubilee said. She took a deep breath. "Sometimes I wish I'd had an abortion." She turned her head and looked at Dani. "I know, I know. That sounds horrible, doesn't it?"
"No….no, not at all," Dani answered, trying to simultaneously mask her disappointment and sound reassuring. "I'm sure it's way normal for any woman who'd been in your position to feel that way."
"It's not that I don't love her," Jubilee insisted. "I do. I love Rory very much----more than anyone in my life. Really. But I think back to the state of mind I was in when I was pregnant and everything I was going through. In some ways, I really wanted an abortion. Storm was the first person I ever told that I was pregnant and she and I discussed it. She even seemed to be leaning towards me doing it. But the conditions we were in….living on the starship, Hank was the only doctor and I really remember feeling weird about the idea of asking him to do an abortion. I didn't want to ask him to do it. And partly, I didn't want to deal with the fact that I was pregnant. So I just went ahead and said I was gonna have the baby."
"Do you think that…that, if you had been back on earth and living under more normal circumstances that you might've had an abortion?" Dani quietly asked.
Jubilee was silent for a moment. Then, her gaze towards the floor, she slowly nodded. "And see, when I admit this to myself, I feel awful. I feel terrible. And like I said, I love Aurora. But there are some times when I think about my life and I think that maybe having her was not the best thing to do."
Dani nodded. "And you know that she is a living reminder of what happened to you. Of what her father---whichever FOH asshole he was----did to you, and to the others."
Jubilee rested her head on one hand. "Yeah. That's the worst part. It's almost like I gotta be reminded of it every day. Those horrible days which were the worst of my life----like a stay in hell itself. Sometimes I think I'm so over that but I look at her and I realize that I'm not. And people ask stuff too, which doesn't help." Jubilee went on to describe an encounter she had with one of the women who had been rescued during the X-men's third successful camp liberation. "The other day I sat next to Megan in the rec room, and she asked me about Rory's dad. I was gonna tell her the truth but I suddenly felt like I just didn't want to----I didn't wanna go through it all again and hear someone say the usual cliches about being sorry and such. So I just said that Rory's dad was dead and that was that. And now Aurora's old enough to start wondering and asking about her father. I don't wanna face that. I don't wanna have that discussion with her." Jubilee stopped and shook her head. "I love her," she repeated, "I really do."
Jubilee was then quiet for several moments. Dani reached and reached to hold one of her friend's hands. Jubilee accepted the hand easily. "Thank you for opening up to me," Moonstar said. "I am honored that you chose to confide in me."
"I haven't told **anyone** this. Not Bobby or Storm --- or even Wolvie. So please don't say anything about this. Sometimes I think they'd like be disappointed in me or something---I guess that's irrational but I dunno. But I feel like I can tell you stuff though."
"I promise not to break your confidence. I won't say a word of this to anyone. And Jubilee, I really think that your feelings about this are natural and normal. Please don't beat yourself up about this." She paused. "And I want you to know that I'm here to support you and be with you whenever you need it. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be there for you always. I care about you a great deal."
Jubilee gave Dani's hand a small squeeze. She looked at Dani's brown eyes and murmured, "Thank you." Finally voicing this out loud to another human being had helped her tremendously and she felt as if a weight had lifted off her chest. A combination of relief and warmth coursed through her veins. She couldn't help but to smile at Moonstar. Jubilee felt so lucky to have such a friend.
And then Dani's feelings for Jubilee overflowed and she found herself infused with courage. The look in Jubilee's eyes, the squeeze of the hand she gave, and the fact that she chose to confide in her above all the others she was close to had to signify something. Dani slowly learned forward and gently pressed her lips against Jubilee's.
The spellbinding mood was broken as Jubilee jumped back. Shock and disgust were written on her face. "Dani!" she screeched. There was another look on Jubilee's face, too. Betrayal.
The color drained from Dani's skin. She had made a calculated risk and, apparently, bombed out. She looked at her friend and saw the hurt written on her face. Dani's heart plummeted. "Jubilee…I'm so sorry," she managed. "I—I'm really really sorry. I don't know what came over me."
Jubilee scrambled to her feet. Dani sank her head into her hands, not being able to withstand the look on Jubilee's face. "I'm so sorry," Moonstar repeated, her voice muffled by her hands. "I'm such an idiot."
Jubilee looked as if she were going to say something, but instead she bolted from the room, leaving her flute behind. Dani was so mortified that she didn't even consider going after her.
*************
"Joe, don't just drop that on the ground!" Jean Grey snapped at her nephew. Jean, along with her parents, niece Gail, nephew Joe, and Shaman's daughter Lily Pearl had decided to have a picnic on one of the hills that afternoon. The group was cleaning up and preparing to descend the hills when Jean noticed that Joe deliberately dropped some of his garbage onto the ground while most of the others had their backs turned. "The last thing we need to do is turn An'zhina into a garbage dump like earth. Would you be more considerate??"
"Sorry, Aunt Jean," a chagrined Joe mumbled as he picked up the litter he had carelessly tossed. He'd never heard his usually kind and gentle Aunt sounding so angry.
"Your Aunt is right," John Grey softly said to his grandson. "We have to all make an effort to keep An'zhina the beautiful place that it is." He knew that Jean had every right to be angry; it was indeed wrong of Joe to litter. However, John noticed that his elder daughter had been uncharacteristically irritable during their entire picnic.
"I said I was sorry," Joe repeated. He didn't get what the big deal was. He knew that Todd was assigned to clean-up and rationalized that Todd would have picked up the garbage sooner or later.
The family then slowly descended the hills. As John and Elaine were no longer young, the group had selected a very smooth portion of the hills with a well-defined trail. They also had not ascended very high. Still, John and Elaine walked slowly and carefully, each assisted by a walking staff.
Elaine noticed that Jean was not attempting to slow her stride; she walked on ahead of the group. "Jean, honey, what's the hurry?" Elaine asked. "Are you running off to a mission?" she asked, trying to add in some levity. She, too, had observed Jean unusually –almost shockingly---cranky today. Jean's normal temperament had always been calm and pleasant.
"I have to feed Christopher," she said, calling over her shoulder.
"The world is not going to end if his feeding is a little late," Elaine answered.
Jean sighed and slowed her pace so that she fell in line with the rest of the group. Elaine even thought she heard Jean mutter "Okay" under her breath.
"Christopher is such a cute little boy," Lily Pearl began, trying to diffuse some of the tension she sensed. "I bet he and Panda's son will be friends." Upon seeing Jean nod and appear more placid, Lily Pearl continued. "I think it's so nice that Hank and Panda are naming their kid after Bobby. Is Christopher named after anyone?"
Jean nodded and responded, "He's named after Scott's dad." There was a moment of silence and then Jean's eyes bulged. She turned to face her father. "I had no idea that you were jealous that we didn't name either of the kids after you!"
John Grey stopped in his tracks. "I didn't say anything, dear," he said curtly, his voice belying his surprise. He truly was stunned. Jean must have been reading his mind! John had indeed been thinking of that, right at that very moment. He was jealous that both of Jean's children were named for people outside of the Grey family. Charlotte had been named for Charles Xavier and then Christopher for Scott's dad. Why had no one thought to name either child after Jean's parents? John had some hurt feelings over this, though he had never vocalized them to anyone except his wife (who shared his feelings on this matter.)
"Yeah, but----" Jean broke off. "Oh," she mumbled. She realized that she had been reading her father's mind. This was not the first unauthorized foray into the thoughts of another she had taken, but this time she had been caught. "I'm sorry, Dad," she quietly said.
Elaine, who avoided conflict at all costs, quickly found a topic to seize on and change the subject with. Jean was only too glad when their walk down the hill was over.
She then located Scott with their kids in the play room. (An'zhina had a play room for the children.) After feeding Christopher, she put the boy down for a nap. Finding themselves the only ones in the play room, Jean and Scott sat back and observed as Charlotte picked up markers and crayons and drew various images on one of the easels in the room.
"I'm trying to hold it all in," Scott whispered, "so she doesn't notice what I'm feeling."
Jean reached for one of Scott's hands and held it. She spoke reassuringly about him having and expressing his feelings---his anger, guilt, anxiety. He poured out each of those emotions to her. Jean comforted him, choking back her own feelings.
Meanwhile, Charlotte pressed the crayons into the paper, drawing furiously. She experienced her parents' emotions but had been told enough times not to broadcast other people's mental states. She knew she would be gently, but firmly, rebuked if she vocalized either of her parents' dismay. Charlotte sensed that her parents didn't want to speak of this so she, too, squelched all the unpleasantness in her head.
***************
"Bobby, gay people shouldn't hit on straight people!"
"Okay. I'll stop puttin' the moves on Wolverine," I vowed. I had no idea what caused Jubilee's outburst. She'd asked if I wanted to watch a movie on the vidcam with her, so we sat in her room and did so, eating our dinner of pizza together. (Jean-Paul had graciously offered to babysit Rory, and was with her now. I knew that Jean-Paul liked for us to spend some time apart and I was now fine with that.)
"Very funny," Jubilee muttered. She crossed her arms over her chest.
"So….is there like a reason why you're bringing this up? Did you want me to take your complaint to all other gay people in the universe and share it with them when we're hanging out in our tree house? And if this works both ways, will you tell your fellow straight people to stop calling us 'faggots' or spray painting crap on our walls?"
"I know I can always count on your weird sense of humor," she said, rolling her eyes.
I reached for the remote control device and paused the movie. (It was a good one and I didn't want to miss any of it!) "Jubilee, what's up?" I asked, switching to my serious side. "I get the idea you're pissed about something."
Jubilee then clamed up and acted like she didn't want to tell me anything. I knew that she really did want to tell me but she didn't want to just blurt it out. She wanted me to extract the information from her, so I pried and pulled until she told me what was on her mind. When she finally told me, I was quite shocked.
"Dani kissed me the other day." She paused. "Yuck."
"Dani Moonstar? Really? I can't believe it. She kissed you?" I paused. Disgust was written all over Jubilee's face. "So, I take it that you like didn't initiate anything?"
"No! I'm not gay. I mean, sheesh, I have nothing against it, you know. But I sure don't want to be kissing other girls myself. I'm like not in the least bit attracted to other women."
I shook my head, bewildered that Moonstar would misread whatever situation the two women had been in so badly. Surely she knew that Jubilee wasn't gay. Was she hoping she could convert her? Dani had, a while ago, confided in me her crush on one of the other X-women, without telling me who it was. I'd never been able to pry out any more information on that, but now I had my answer. With Dani, I think that the saying 'still waters run deep' held true. I bet she really had it bad for Jubilee----or else she wouldn't have kissed her. "That must've felt pretty weird, huh?"
"Yeah! It really did. I'm still grossed out by it." She then quickly added, "Not that I find homosexuality gross or anything, I just mean it's like not for me."
I nodded. "I understand you," I responded. I knew that Jubilee was telling the truth. I also felt really bad for Dani, though, and I wondered if their friendship would recover. "Has Dani apologized?"
"No. I haven't seen her since then. I don't wanna even look at her now, really."
"When did this happen?"
"Two days ago. I'm just like still so grossed out about it. I can't believe she'd do this."
Jubilee then went on for quite a bit. I listened to her intently, though I was dying to hear Dan's side of the story too. Why on earth had she done it and how could someone as perceptive as Dani been so wrong? Jubilee mostly spoke of feeling betrayed and angry and uncomfortable. She also bemoaned the fact that so many others were in successful relationships but "I just don't seem to have any damn luck in this area!" I bet she was also mourning the possible loss of a close friendship too.
When she was finished talking, Jubilee asked me to please not tell anyone. "I'd just feel kinda funny telling Storm or Wolvie or anyone about this, you know? I mean, I'm pissed at Dani but I don't wanna come off like…like, I dunno that I'm ripping on her. Even though I am really pissed at her." I thought that Jubilee was a bit embarrassed, too, to have had another girl hit on her.
"I understand," I said. "I'll keep this quiet."
We eventually went back to watching the movie. Later on, Jubilee asked me about Hank. "What's the deal? I saw him outside of the lab several times in the last few days. I mean," she added, "I'm glad he's like taking a break and all, but that ain't like him."
I shrugged and desperately hoped that Jubilee wouldn't detect that I knew a lot more than I was letting on. "I bet Panda's threatened to divorce him if he doesn't spend more time with her! He can't keep spending 16 hours a day in the lab, Jubes. If he gets burned out, it's not gonna help anyone."
"Yeah, I know. It's just not like him though---he's always worked crazy hours before when he wanted an answer to something."
"Well, what's changed is that he's now a husband, and a soon-to-be father, too." I desperately struggled to change the topic. "Panda's due in about 11 weeks now, I guess. I bet she and Hank will be great parents. I wonder how the other kids will react."
"Yeah," Jubilee said, sounding a bit far away; her thoughts were still obviously on Hank's unusual behavior. "Bobby, do you resent that he's not working harder on finding a cure for Northstar?"
"No, no, not at all," I insisted. "Like I said, he needs a rest every now and then, and it's not gonna do any good if he collapses from too much work. Besides, Jean-Paul's strong and healthy and he might stay healthy for years and years. We've got time to find a cure."
My answer this time was truthful. **Of course** I didn't resent Hank. The real question was—would he resent **me** when he found out the whole truth?
**************
The day after my movie with Jubilee, I sought out Dani Moonstar to ask her what happened. It wasn't that I wanted to gossip or anything like that, but I wanted to see how she was doing since I knew that her heart had to be broken. I doubt that Moonstar would've tried to kiss Jubilee if she didn't really **really** care about her.
Dani was clearly depressed and she basically blew me off. I asked her if she wanted to talk about whatever was bothering her, and she answered with a curt "no." Later in the day, I heard her playing her flute outdoors, and the song was a very melancholy one. I listened for half a minute or so and I actually felt a lump forming in my throat.
At the next scheduled karate session, neither Jubilee nor Dani showed. So Wolverine and I forged ahead without them. At the following day's lesson, Jubilee appeared but Dani did not. "What's goin' on with you and Moonstar?" I heard Wolverine ask.
"We had a falling out," Jubilee calmly replied. I'm sure she anticipated the fact that Wolverine would not probe for details if he sensed that she didn't want him to. And, as far as I know, he fulfilled her expectations by not probing. Wolverine seemed to realize that Jubilee was going to be alright and apparently left it at that.
*************
"Charles, what do you think is wrong with Scott?"
Moira MacTaggert posed the question to Charles Xavier one morning during breakfast. The two continued their morning ritual of eating breakfast together. The early birds selected a picnic table on one of the main building's back porches, and they watched the radiant Endarian sun rise as they lingered over tea, bagels with thick cream cheese, and fresh fruit. Because Moira's husband did not enjoy getting out of bed early, he never joined them for their first repast of the day.
"I don't know," Charles admitted. "I can tell that both he and Jean are experiencing some turmoil. I tried to talk about it with Scott yesterday but he did not want to discuss it. I have to respect that."
"I am sure that Scott and Jean can work through whatever is bothering them," Moira said, though once the words fell from her lips, she thought they sounded hollow.
"If either one of them wants to confide in me, I have told them that I am here for them."
"I am sure that you canna do anything more than that." Moira took a sip of her tea and tilted her head to get a better view of the sunrise. "Magnificent, isn't it?"
Charles nodded. "Indeed."
Moira looked at him and saw the far away gaze in his eyes. The brilliance of the sun and the beauty of An'zhina meant little to the Professor now, she understood. Thousands of mutants back on earth were suffering, and there was not a one thing Xavier could do about it now. `He never will be totally happy until that situation changes,' Moira thought. She realized how much she adored the comfort of An'zhina, how little she had any desire to ever leave. Simultaneously, the fact that Charles was not happy tore at Moira.
"If we ever do acquire more dilithium, do you think you will go on the next mission to earth?" she asked him.
"I don't know, Moira. Right now, I think the possibility of us suddenly gaining the dilithium we need is remote. I suppose my answer will depend on whatever Jean and Scott decide, as we will need a telepath for the mission." He paused, and added, "That is, if we ever are able to venture into space again."
*************
"Hey, y'all ----guess what? I got a date!"
Sam Guthrie usually didn't attempt to hide his feelings too much. He had a genuine down-to-earth sweetness about himself, Hector had observed. And this afternoon, there was apparently no chance of him keeping a lid on his excitement.
"A date? Alright! So….who's it with?" Mark asked. The three men --- Sam, Hector, and Mark --- frequently "hung out" together and were walking towards one of the playing courts for a game of volleyball. They had all decided to join the An'zhinian volleyball league.
"Jubilee!" Sam said. Again, there was no attempt to mask the excitement and joy he felt. Nor did it occur to Sam that his buddies might be a tad jealous.
"A fellow X-man," Hector observed. "X-woman. Excellente!" For reasons Hector couldn't fully articulate, he felt there was truly more prestige in dating another X-man as opposed to a regular An'zhinian.
"I know," Sam grinned.
"So what happened, hombre? Did you finally ask her out or did she ask you out?" Hector was not at all surprised about this; the two had discussed the possibility of Sam dating Jubilee before.
Sam shrugged. "She asked me out. She asked me today, after our Danger Room session."
"When are you gonna get together?" Mark asked. He had to ask and was not embarrassed to display his interest in the subject. Nor was Hector. Both Mark and Hector were basically out of the dating scene---for different reasons---which made Sam's dating life all the more interesting to them.
"And what are you going to do?" Hector asked.
"We decided to have dinner alone together, maybe do a picnic in the hills," Sam replied. The days now were long; it would still be light at dinnertime. "Afterwards we think maybe we'll join Agata's class. Neither of us have been in the class before but Agata said it's open to everyone, even beginners."
"So this Kentucky boy is gonna try his hand at salsa," Hector observed, smirking at the very thought. He harbored a secret wish to go salsa dancing, but he dared not step foot inside one of Agata's classes---despite the fact that he heard they always had more females than males at these lessons. Hector would pity the woman who ended up with him as a dance partner. He had no desire to put someone else, or himself, through that.
"Are you sure you wanna go dancing on a first date?" Mark asked. "I mean, it could be a little awkward, especially if you're not good dancers." Mark used to have several girlfriends; he was not a novice to courtship.
"It's just an idea," Sam said, sounding confident, "and I can dance okay. But we might go swimming instead or join up with the Bad Art group---they have a meeting tonight. I sucked at Art Class in school, but this group is supposed to be real loose and you can make a piece of junk if you want. There's a heck of a lot of stuff to do here now," he added.
"You could watch a movie on a vidcam together," Hector suggested.
"Nah. That ain't always a good idea on a first date," Sam responded. "Hey, we're allowed to pick those flowers that are growing near the forest, right? I wanna give her a little bouquet."
The guys reached the volleyball court and prepared for their game.
*************
TO BE CONTINUED
Coming up….Scott's rendezvous with Queen Marina and much more!
Author's notes:
First, as many of you know, fanfiction.net has vowed to remove all fics rated NC-17. They plan to take them all down forever, starting October 12th. Please consider signing the petition to ask them to change their policy at:
http://www.petitiononline.com/KEEPNC17/petition.html
If the petition is not successful, then don't despair. I might try to return to fanfiction.net with a toned-down rating. And you can still read my fics at Leigh's Fiction. The URL is:
http://geocities.com/loopeleigh/
A quick note on the World War II flashback that Wolverine had:
That section about homosexuals being imprisoned in concentration camps by the Nazis is an historical fact (despite the fact that many history text books don't mention it…I never learned about it when I studied WWII in high school or college.) For more info, see these links:.
http://www.thepinktriangle.com/history.html
http://www.cygnus.uwa.edu.au/~zeddicus/pinktria.html
http://www.datalounge.com/datalounge/news/record.html?record=3866
http://www.sbu.ac.uk/stafflag/pinktriangle.html
I still welcome any and all feedback. Please email me at stormkpr@usa.net (since I cannot upload this—or any other chapter---to fanfiction.net due to the NC17 rating of my overall fic.)
Finally, if you want to be notified when I upload a new chapter, just send me an email at stormkpr@usa.net