Note: "Talking" 'Thinking' Lyrics
By: Silver Hawk
He sat at the bar and ordered another drink. He knew he was wasted, but what did it matter. 'Cheers,' he thought as he downed another drink. He had been on his own now for at least five years now. He didn't know or care what his old team mates were doing or where they were. He sighed.
"Got something on your mind?" asked a female vooce beside him.
He turned and replied to the woman, "You could say that."
"Would you like some company?" she asked him.
He already knew where this was going. She was attractive. Before, he would have said yes without a second thought. Now, though, he wasn't interested. "No, actually I'd rather be alone," he replied.
The woman frowned, "Am I that bad of company?"
He chuckled, "No, I am just getting over a break up."
"Oh, I see," she replied, "Well, if you really want to be alone, that's fine. I'll be over there if you decide you want some company." With that she walked down to the other end of the bar.
'She actually thinks I'm going to come down there,' he thought to himself and chuckled. "How wrong she is," he muttered to himself. He lied about part of the reason why he was here. He had been through a break up, but that had been a couple years ago. What bothered him the most was that he couldn't get his ex-girlfriend off his mind.
Flashback
"I love you," she told him.
"And I love you too, koi," he replied. She was the first person who had ever made him truly happy. With her around the world seemed to be a brighter, happier place. She was the opposite of him in every way. She was pure and innocent, while he was tainted with the blood of others. She accepted him even after she had found out what he had done. The say opposites attract, and it was true.
Flash Forward
She stood before him. She was sad.
"What's wrong, koi?" he asked.
"I don't think..." she trailed off, then she began again, "I don't think this is working out."
"What isn't working out?" he asked.
"Us. It just isn't working," she replied. He stepped forward and she took a step back. "I'm sorry but I can't be with you anymore, Shuldich," she told him and disappeared out the door and out of his life.
End Flashback
He had truly loved her. No one could ever take her place in his life or in his heart. He never understood how one woman could make him, of all people, so weak.
She put him out
Like the burning end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart
He spent his whole life trying to forget
We watched him drink away his pain a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until tonight...
He stood up, left some money on the counter, and headed back to his apartment.
As he entered the apartment he took off his jacket, closed the door, then put the jacket in the closet. he kicked off his shoes.
He entered his room and lay down on the bed. For a fews seconds he lay looking at the ceiling. He then got up. He searched the stand beside his bed until he found a pen and paper. He quickly scribbled a small note and left it on the stand. He knelt down a pulled a box out from under his bed. He opened it and took out two things, a gun and a clip. He shoved the box back under the bed. He got and sat down on the bed facing the headboard. He pressed down on the clip and pushed bullet after bullet out until only one was left in the clip. He pushed the clip into the gun until it clicked. He unlocked the safety and loaded the bullet into the chamber. He placed the chamber to his head, closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullabye
la lala la lalala
la lala la lalalaaaa
la lala la lalala
la lala la lalalaaaa
The bar was quiet and she was one of three customers there at his hour of the day. She signaled to the bartender for another.
"Starting early today?" he asked.
"Yeah," she replied.
He nodded and placed another shot in front of her. She gulped it down. Lately she had been frequenting this place more often. Her friends had noticed her saddness every now and then and asked what was wrong. She'd say nothing and smile a fake smile. They had no idea that she was constantly out drinking. She felt so responsible, and blamed herself for his death. She had loved him, but she had been convinced that because she loved him it was best to leave him. She didn't want him getting hurt because of her. It would be three years ago tomorrow since he committed suicide. What had hurt the most was the note he left, "I'll love her till I die." She wiped away tears that threatened to fall. She stood up, left some money on the counter, and headed home.
The rumors flew
But nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years
She tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank away her pain a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until tonight.
She walked into her quiet apartment and closed the door. She turned on a couple lights in the house as she headed towards her room. She entered her room, took off her coat, and layed it across a chair. She sat down on the bed facing the wall, he eyes lay on the gun that lay before her. She picked up a picture of him she had beside her bed and hugged it.
"I'm so sorry, Shuldich. I did love you," she whispered and tears began to run down her face. She picked up the gun and placed the chamber against her head.
"I'll always love you," she whispered and pulled the trigger
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We layed her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullabye
la lala la lalala
la lala la lalalaaaa
la lala la lalala
la lala la lalalaaaa
la lala la lalala
la lala la lalalaaaa
Her friends cried as they laid her in the ground. How could they have not noticed? It was too late now. The gravestone read, "Tsukino Usagi, loving friend, daughter, and sister. May she find peace beside the man she loved."
la lala la lalala
la lala la lalalaaaa
la lala la lalala
la lala la lalala
A.N.> I loved this song when I heard it and thought up this story. The song is sung by Alison Krauss and Brad Paisley. Sorry if I took the meaning of the song differently, but for some reason this is the way I wanted to write it. As for the couple, Usagi/Shuldich, I came up with it after a lond debate with myself. Looking at the story now, it works. I hope eveyone likes this fic as much as I do. Thanks everyone. Please read and review!
Silver Hawk