THE HEAVENS OPEN
By Stormkeeper (stormkpr@usa.net)
I wish to thank my beta tester Leigh for assisting with every aspect of my writing.
CHAPTER NINE
*************
Not long after the meeting, I found myself walking up and down the rows of the garden and inspecting it in the waning sunlight. This place was amazing. We didn't have anything remotely resembling a winter or a frost and the garden thrived all the time. I was surrounded with all these delicious shades of green: moss, pistachio, spruce, lime, viridian. The colors all seemed so much more bright and intense than on earth, even with the Endarian sun slowly setting that day.
My mouth watered at the thought of what I could make with the robust cabbages, pale green baby leeks, fat tomatoes, red and green lettuce, lumpy and fibrous fava beans, and the white stems of swiss chard with their glossy leaves. Our loosely-applied rule on An'zhina specified that anyone who worked on the garden was entitled to pick from it and savor its riches (using moderation and judgement, of course. If your only time in the garden was 10 minutes hoeing one day, you weren't supposed to pick half the tomato crop.) I started thinking that a good, restorative vegetable soup with a thick stock would be the just the thing now, perhaps served with some crusty bread dipped in oil. I could see Jean-Paul and I sitting down to such a meal in one of our rooms.
"Amazing, no? That the garden grows so well all the time."
Jean-Paul surprised me, flying up to me quick as a wink. I was alone for one second and found my boyfriend next to me the next second.
"I was just thinking that," I said. "This place seems to have the amazing ability to support life all the time. And to restore life," I said, looking at him pointedly. "I was very touched by what you said in the meeting."
"I meant it," he said quietly, moving to hold one of my hands. "I truly am humbled by everything. And especially by the support from you and Jeanne-Marie. And by the thought that Scott thought that I was worth it."
"I was very touched by what you said in front of everyone, about me, too."
"You mean when I said that I loved you?" he asked.
I nodded in response. He kissed my shoulder (I was wearing a sleeveless shirt.) "Some parts of the meeting were uncomfortable," he said, sighing. "I feel more naked and exposed than ever. If I had my wish, no one would've known that I ever had AIDS----I mean, HIV. And I wish no one knew what the FOH did to me. But such is life. As Shaman would say, we don't always get what we want. I am cured and that is all I care about."
"That's all I care about too. You're gonna live. We might have a hard time ever getting on comfortable terms with Scott and Jean again," I shrugged, "but we can try to fix it eventually. For now, all that matters is that you're gonna make it." I paused. "I haven't seen Jeanne-Marie looking so happy in a long time. Maybe ever."
Jean-Paul nodded. He then reached for me and whispered something naughty in my ear. He had been absolutely insatiable ever since the Endarians cured him, and this would be our third bout that day! Our stamina was at Wolverine-proportions, apparently. I smiled at Jean-Paul and promised to do as he wished just as soon as I finished picking a few vegetables for tomorrow's meal.
************
"What did you think of the meeting?" Jean asked Scott as they walked along the beach. Though the evening was still young, their two children were sleeping soundly. The couple was now in the habit of taking walks together in the evening---as always, if one of their kids woke up in distress for any reason, Jean would sense it immediately through her mindlink with them.
"I guess it went about as well as could be expected. I can't blame Moira for asking what she did. I thought your response to her was very good," Cyclops replied. The brilliant Endarian sun was setting in the background, spilling a palate of vibrant colors against the sky. No matter how long Scott had stayed on An'zhina, there was always something new to look at, always a new chance to appreciate its sparkling beauty. Its beauty was somewhat marred for him, though, given what had occurred with the Queen.
Jean nodded. "Yours was too….But Scott, I sensed that there are many people who suspect the truth."
Scott stopped walking and turned to face Jean. "Do you mean that you suspect it out of intuition or suspect it because you entered their minds?" He asked the question without reproach, knowing that Jean had lapsed a bit recently from using her powers ethically. Jean had shared with her husband the incident where she unthinkingly read her father's mind.
"Just intuition and observation. When Moira was asking us about Lu, I saw the looks on some people's faces….I'm not trying to alarm you, Scott. I just wanted to let you know that I think some people suspect that Marina didn't cure Northstar simply out of the goodness of her heart. It's the only logical conclusion since she hasn't done anything else recently out of pure compassion for us."
Scott shook his head. "Too many people know about the request that she made of me. I should never have told the field commanders. If Rogue told Bobby, who knows who else she told? Who knows who else Bobby told?" Scott felt the anger welling up inside of him and tried to temper it. He forced himself to take a deep breath.
"I believe that Bobby hasn't told anyone," Jean said. "That's just a hunch. That day when you told him that Marina had agreed to it and you were very firm in telling him not to tell….I saw the look on his face and I really think that he's kept quiet about it." Jean paused and then groped for the right way to articulate what was on her mind. "Scott," she began softly, "we know that living in such close quarters with all the other X-men, people have a way of finding things out. I dislike it as much as you do. I don't want people nosing around our personal matters. But I also wanted to say that I personally don't care what others are thinking right now. What does it matter? Each of us has to do things and live our lives in ways that we believe are right. If we get hung up on what other people are saying about us, it could drive us insane."
"Jean, I know that you're right," Scott said, holding onto her hand a bit more tightly. "I know in my mind that you're right…but I'm still angry."
"You have every right to be angry. I'm just glad that you're expressing it instead of trying to choke it down."
***********
Dani Moonstar had erroneously thought that an afternoon on the beach might help lift her spirits. The day after the X-men's meeting, she accepted an invitation to join Storm, Bobby, Northstar, Jeanne-Marie, and Mark for a beach trip. The group picnicked, swam, and played in the sand together.
All was going well until Jeanne-Marie pointed towards a boat slowly sailing across the water. "Oh, look," she said, pointing, "there's Jubilee and Cannonball. Looks like they're on another date, eh?" Jeanne-Marie sounded touchingly (and uncharacteristically) carefree and genuinely happy for the young couple. She also was oblivious to Dani's angst ---- Dani hadn't told anyone of her misguided pass at Jubilee.
"I heard they really enjoyed their first two dates," Mark said, smiling. He was glad for the couple. He also felt happy to have been invited along with the others for their picnic. He sensed that he had basically been forgiven by the X-men on the whole for the snafu with the dilithium back on board Freedom. Although he could tell that Jeanne-Marie was not thrilled about his presence, the others were usually quite friendly with him.
"Just the two of them on the boat together---quite romantic," Jeanne-Marie continued on. "Looks like they're having an early dinner together too. I hope they have a bottle of wine with them."
"Hey, where's the hummos??" Bobby asked, with just a bit too much verve in his voice. "I can't find the hummos anywhere!!" He made a show of looking through the picnic basket and tossing items out in his frantic search.
"It's right here, cervelle d'oiseau," Jeanne-Marie said, tossing the container of the tangy bean spread towards Bobby. "Are you going to die if you don't get some this minute?"
"Cervelle d'oiseau?" Storm asked, doing a serviceable job with the French pronunciation as Bobby caught the hummos container. "That's a new one for me."
"It means 'bird brain,'" Jeanne-Marie clarified. She looked at Bobby and added, "Spoken with affection, of course."
Bobby grasped his chest in mock horror, "How you wound my feelings, Jeanne-Marie! I am so hurt!"
"You'll get over it," she said flatly with a barely suppressed grin.
Moonstar observed their interactions and got the distinct impression that Bobby might've been glad that the subject of Jubilee's date had been abandoned. No matter. She was glad they were off that subject too. She reached for her beer and drank another swig, knowing that she shouldn't. Dani had a history of alcoholism in her family and had studiously avoided alcohol since her teens. Lately, however, she had not been as diligent in shunning the bottle. Watching Jubilee and Cannonball sailing together, obviously enjoying a romantic afternoon, had not helped her emotional state at all. She and Jubilee had not spoken even once since the ill-fated kiss. Moonstar wasn't sure which hurt the most at this point---the loss of their friendship, the rejection, or the fact that she'd been so wrong about Jubilee's feelings.
'No, what hurts the most is watching the two of them together,' Dani thought, looking at Jubilee and Sam in the distance, feeling that knife twist just a bit more. She wasn't in the mood for another session of crying in her room that night, but sensed that was exactly where she was headed once more.
*************
On board the sailing boat, Jubilee smiled as Sam reminisced about his days in Kentucky. His stories were interesting, and Jubilee liked him. He had to be one of the sweetest guys she had ever met.
Of course, the sweetest was Bobby Drake. Jubilee would never forget that day when she first met him. It had to have been more than three years ago by now. In fact, as Jubilee remembered with a tug of melancholy, it had been just about a month before the X-men had been captured by the FOH and the mansion destroyed. Jubilee remembered being introduced to Bobby by Beast, and being taken in by his shy smile and the look in his eyes. He seemed to not even know how good looking he was. She remembered skipping towards the rec room where she'd seen Jean, Storm, Wolverine and Gambit playing cards. As usual, Jubilee hadn't held back about her feelings and told them all about her excitement over the newcomer. Jubilee was crushed when Storm (or was it Jean?) told her that Bobby was gay. Jubilee had maintained a crush on him for a while until it became very obvious that he really was gay and wasn't going to go for her.
Before Bobby, of course, there had been Wolverine. That had been a fierce crush which lasted for quite some time. Deep down, Jubilee had always known that something serious between the two of them would never work, but she'd still harbored the crush for a while, flattering herself with illusions that Wolverine felt something more than the love of an uncle for her. Jubilee realized, with a hint of irony, that Wolverine and Bobby were about as much opposites as you can get, but they were the ones she'd fancied.
Sam didn't quite tickle her heart the way Wolverine and Bobby had. Jubilee looked at the sweetly charming man in front of her and resolved to try to make it work. Storm would say to give it some time, and let the feelings develop naturally.
Of course, being that they were X-men and lived lives full of danger (Jubilee missed Colossus, Shadowcat, and the others who had fallen), she wondered how much time they truly had.
***********
Sam smiled and cooed with little Aurora as Jubilee headed for the food replicators to get them some popcorn and beer. Following Cannonball and Jubilee's afternoon boat ride and picnic, they now planned to watch a movie on the vidcam together in her room.
"It's way past your bedtime, sweetie pie," Jubilee said to the girl, upon her return to the room. "Let's read you a story and then get you to sleep." Jubilee and Sam had picked up the child from Rogue and Gambit's care.
"No!" Rory replied. 'No' was Rory's frequent answer to many suggestions. The child-rearing books that Jubilee read portions of told her that this was normal. Though she couldn't help but to notice that sweet little Charlotte rarely acted disagreeable.
"That wasn't a request, Aurora."
"Can I read to you, dumplin'?" Sam asked.
Rory pointed at Sam and made excited noises. "She's saying she'd like you to do it," Jubilee clarified. "Her books are on that shelf over there."
Following a few quick stories with Sam, Rory soon fell asleep in her crib. Nestled in the seclusion of the room's alcove, the toddler would not be disturbed.
Sam was enjoying their date immensely. He knew that he was good with Rory, which had to have been gaining him extra points with Jubilee. Having a younger sister (whom he missed terribly, by the way), Sam was somewhat of a natural with children. He was liking Jubilee's company quite a bit too. During their dates, she always seemed carefree and comfortable around him.
Sam had seen the movie that they cued up on the vidcam before (the Endarians provided a limited---but high quality---selection of movies to the An'zhinians), but he didn't object to a second run-through of it. He and Jubilee sat together on the small couch in her room to view the film. For the majority of the movie, they sat cuddled together, Sam with his arm around her.
After the film had ended (and the vidcam seamlessly merged into playing soft music), Jubilee reached for Sam and initiated some serious kissing. Sam responded most favorably. He was extremely glad that she had initiated it, just as he was glad that she was the one who'd asked him out. Within the crowd he'd hung out with in high school, it was considered a tad unladylike for the woman to make the first moves like this, but Sam really enjoyed having the pressure off of him. He simply relaxed and allowed himself to enjoy kissing and touching this beautiful woman.
Despite his ease with Jubilee's more forward style, Sam was surprised when Jubilee started tugging at his shirt. They had been kissing and touching each other through their clothes, but this he had not quite expected.
"Do you, um, want to?" Jubilee asked.
"Yeah," Sam replied. He managed to stammer out the question, "But, uh…didn't you say that you never did this before?"
Jubilee nodded. They had talked it over on one of their previous dates. Jubilee told Cannonball that little Aurora was a result of "the attacks from the FOH soldiers." No more explanation had been necessary; besides, Sam already knew about the rapes and that that was how Aurora had been conceived.
"You can guide me through it," Jubilee said, with a little laugh, futilely attempting to hide her nervousness.
"I'd love to. But…but sweetheart, we should have candles goin' or flowers in the room for this occasion."
"You're so sweet, Sam. It's okay."
***********
It went pretty much how Sam expected it would. There was a lot of kissing and cuddling, and they went very slowly. They had to break away at one point to hastily replicate a condom because Jubilee was not on the pill. (Sam had been shirtless at that point. He donned a shirt for his trip down the hall to the nearest replicator---but only moments before re-entering Jubilee's room did he realize that he'd put the shirt on inside-out and backwards.) The trip for the condom provided a minor interruption, but as soon as Sam returned, they fell easily into each other's arms again. Jubilee let Sam take the lead, which provided a refreshing twist as she usually took the lead on everything else.
Jubilee didn't have an orgasm, despite the valiant efforts Sam made using his fingers before he entered her. Sam didn't really expect that she would, though, given her inexperience and what he knew about the first time for most virgins. He knew it would likely get easier with time, and she would come to enjoy it more. That's how it had been for Nancy, at least.
Still, Jubilee was quite brave considering how new she was to this. Sam felt a twinge of trepidation given that she was a survivor of gang rape….but he truly wasn't over-worried. Jubilee always displayed a lot of gumption, and the one time they spoke about the FOH attacks, Jubilee had said that she was "over" it. That night, he did ask her if she wanted to be on top, but she declined.
The pair kissed and cuddled afterwards, and Sam spent the night in Jubilee's room. When the brilliant morning sun shone through the windows, they showered together and then scooped up Rory to head off for breakfast.
**************
Cannonball, Jubilee, and Aurora walked by Storm and Wolverine on their way out of the dining hall. Finished with the breakfast, the younger couple and Rory exchanged brief 'good mornings' with the older couple.
Wolverine pointedly sniffed the air a few times once Jubilee and the others had moved on. Storm saw the look on his face. He did not look pleased. Storm had a good idea about the source of Wolverine's consternation since Jubilee had confided in her yesterday morning about her hopes for her next date with Sam.
"She is a grown woman," Storm said. She was rather tickled for Jubilee. She could remember when the mildly obnoxious 14 year old had joined the X-men. So much had changed, and now Jubilee had a boyfriend. However, Storm knew that now was not the time to start reminiscing with Wolverine about the teenaged Jubilee.
Wolverine crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm pissed," he finally said.
"She's **23** years old. You can't expect her to live the life of a nun, Logan," Storm said her words firmly, but also with a touch of humor and affection. She was not surprised that Logan was not exactly jumping with joy over this, and she inwardly grinned at his reaction as it was precisely and predictably what she expected.
"I'm still pissed."
"Get over it."
Logan sighed. At least it was Sam. Sam was a nice boy. Though he truly believed that no one was quite good enough for Jubilee, Sam was at least decent.
"If he ever hurts her, I'll break his bones."
Storm rolled her eyes.
**************
My luck had definitely taken a turn for the better. It just seemed that one good thing after another was happening. Two days after the meeting with all the X-men, Hank asked me if I wanted to go to lunch with him. He said, "You and I have not experienced a significant amount of time at leisure activities alone together. Therefore, I would like to suggest that we make such an appointment."
We actually took our lunch up to the hills and picnicked there. I made an ice slide and, with Hank hanging on tight, zoomed us up there. We made small talk for a while, me asking him about Panda's pregnancy and the progress of the famed playset and him asking me how Jean-Paul and Jeanne-Marie were doing. But at some point, a flash of intuition hit me. I got the idea that he knew I needed to discuss something else too.
"I, uh, just wanted to thank you again for all the work you did on the HIV research," I said.
"It is not necessary for you to offer thanks," he replied. "As a scientist, I enjoy searching for answers. I would have been interested in pursuing a cure for HIV even if Northstar had not been infected. I would have pursued the remedy with somewhat less vigor, assuredly, but the research still would have brought me satisfaction."
"You sure?" I asked.
"Yes. In fact, I plan to continue performing research on HIV, though at a much less intense pace. And, of course, once Rob arrives, I will have even less time. But it is still necessary that we find a cure. We may someday have more HIV infected mutants residing on An'zhina."
"And Queen Marina might not give us a cure next time," I added. I then looked at Hank. Tongues had been wagging like crazy since that meeting two days ago; the grapevine thrived as always. I tried to steer clear of it given what Cyclops had commanded, but I still knew that a lot of people were making assumptions and probably arriving at the right conclusion. Rogue and Gambit had to know because I told them back on board Freedom that Cyke had agreed to it----I just hadn't discussed it with them since we got to An'zhina. Given the number of people who were in the know on this, I got the idea that Hank really had guessed that there was more to this story than he had been told or than had been officially communicated at the meeting.
"Bobby, it's okay," he said quietly, as if reading my mind. "I sometimes infer that events occurred to which I was not made privy. It is alright and I do not need to know every detail about the negotiations with the Endarians. I am not angry about any of it and I do not regret a minute of the time I spent performing research."
I nodded. "Thanks, Hank. That's good to hear. I mean, I felt like a shit because I couldn't tell you everything, but Cyclops was really clear that I couldn't open my mouth about it."
"Say no more. Everything is alright between the two of us. Jean-Paul is cured, and I am content to leave it at that."
"Cool."
A weight was then lifted from my shoulders. Hank and I finished our lunch, speaking of more pleasant topics. And I'd had the foresight to bring a brush. I brushed out his furry limbs and back, just for old times' sake.
************
It seemed like old days to Jubilee as she, Storm, Rogue and Jean sat on the floor of Storm's room one evening. The bitter scent of sage burning meandered through the air, and the room was illuminated only by candles. The four sat in a circle. Panda and Moonstar had declined to join the group for the healing ceremony this time.
Jubilee scratched an itch on her head. "I can't explain it, but this feels comforting to me, in a way," she said. "This setting, the four of us in a healing ceremony again. It's weird because I was so out of it during our early ones."
"I think our memories and our subconscious retain some details," Jean said, "like the sage and the candles burning. It's all stored in there."
"Yeah," Jubilee replied. "But isn't it weird that I think it's comforting. I mean….we started doing this to recover from one of the most awful things that ever happened to us."
"It is the power of the four of us coming together and supporting each other through the healing process," Storm said. "I find it quite comforting as well."
Silence fell over the room for a few moments. The women had decided to rotate the role of facilitator for their ceremonies, and it was Rogue's turn. "Does anyone have anything she would like to bring up?" Rogue asked. Her lip twitched ever-so-slightly. Part of her still kept telling herself that these ceremonies were corny, but she always made sure to attend them knowing that truly they were beneficial.
"Well, I have one," Storm said, with a slight smile on her face as she turned to face Jubilee. "Shouldn't we commemorate an important event in your life?"
"An important…? Oh. That. Yeah, I finally got laid. Woo-hoo. Sheesh, I'm only 23!" Jubilee wryly commented.
The group giggled along with Jubilee. "Should we commemorate the fact that up till…5 days ago I was the oldest virgin in the galaxy?" she quipped. "And the only one with a child too." More laughs ensued.
Storm laughed along with the group and then said, "Well, seriously Jubilee, I am very happy for you, that you have found a man you care for."
"How are things with Sam?" Jean asked. She felt bad, knowing that she hadn't spent much time with Jubilee lately. It was another reason she was glad for their occasional ceremonies---they all got a chance to catch up. Jean had been wrapped up in all that was going on, including just trying to make some time to spend with her family.
"They're goin' great," Jubilee said, glad that Dani wasn't there. The two still had not spoken since that bad incident. If they happened to be on the beach or in the gym at the same time, they studiously avoided each other. Jubilee once walked in the dining room at the same time as Panda and Hank, and they had spotted a table with several X-men including Moonstar. Jubilee had ensured that she and her daughter ended up sitting as many seats down from Moonstar as possible. "He's really sweet and really nice. I always have a good time when we're together. And he's great with Aurora---she really likes him."
"And…how's the sex?" Rogue asked, a grin on her face .She then shrugged, upon seeing a look on Jean's face, "Aww…c'mon, most of our ceremonies end up gettin' on this topic and I thought Jubilee might wanna talk 'bout it since she's now got her own experience."
"It's…it's okay," Jubilee answered, truthfully. "The sex is okay." She had no chance of bluffing with this group; they knew her too well. Besides, she was actually eager to talk about this with someone and this probably was the best setting.
"So….just 'okay'?" Rogue asked.
"Yeah. I mean, I like the kissing and the cuddling. He's real sweet and affectionate. I like falling asleep next to someone. But the orgasm thing ain't been happening. Not for me, anyway."
"Hmmmm. You've gotten them by yourself in the past, right?" Storm asked. She, Jean, and Rogue leaned in closer to Jubilee, eager to help.
"Hell yeah. And it's not that Sam's a bad lover or anything. He tries, he really does. We always do lots of the foreplay thing. I think his hand's practically fallen off a few times."
"Maybe he could go down on you," Jean suggested. "That might do it."
"We haven't tried that yet. I mean, you know we've only done it like four times."
"You could…show him, so to speak, how you pleasure yourself," Storm suggested. "A demonstration might help him learn the right way to touch you."
"Maybe you two just need more practice and more time. It is still very early in the relationship," Jean said. "It can take time for two people to really get it together."
Jubilee nodded. She then felt hit by a wave of exasperation, looking at her three teammates. "Of course, what would any of **you** really know about this! All I keep hearing about is how great in bed your husbands---boyfriends are!"
"Oh come now, Jubilee," Storm said gently, "all of us have experienced sex that was….just alright at one time or another."
"Yeah, right." Jubilee crossed her arms over her chest. The older X-women were probably feeling pretty smug now, she thought, and glad that their own sex lives weren't as mediocre as Jubilee's, she thought. `Well, that's not exactly fair,' Jubilee said to herself, cutting her teammates some slack.
"No, it is true," Jean insisted, backing up Storm. Rogue nodded too.
"Okay," Jubilee said, a smile crossing her face, "then tell me about it. I want each of you to tell me about a time---with the man you're with now----when you had lousy sex. I wanna hear it."
Storm, Jean and Rogue exchanged a few looks. `Well, what the heck?' Rogue thought. `That's the kinda information-sharing these "ceremonies" are for.' The looks on Storm and Jean's faces indicated that they, too, would accept Jubilee's challenge.
"Okay, I'll start," Rogue said.
"Keeping in mind, of course," Jean began, "that everything we say in this room remains here."
"As always," Storm said.
Rogue nodded. All eyes then turned to her, eager to hear her story. "Okay, there really was one time when Remy and I had lousy sex. There was one day where I was just the horniest thing you ever met. So Remy and I made love three times that day. I mean, not three times at once but three times over the course of the day 'cause I kept grabbin' him at different times. Anyway, we were gettin' ready to go to bed an'….I mean, gettin' ready to go to sleep, you know? It was late. But I felt like I really wanted to do it again."
"You horn dog!" Jubilee exclaimed, in mock-horror. The others laughed with Rogue too.
"I know. But anyway, I asked Remy if he wanted it again. He said he'd do it….but I could kinda tell he didn't really wanna. I should've stopped it but I didn't. I figured if he really really didn't wanna, he wouldn't've agreed." The women exchanged a few grins, guessing where Rogue's story was heading. "So we git to it. I'm goin' down on him for like **an hour** an' nothin's happenin.' He ain't gettin' hard. Finally he said not to worry 'bout it, that he'd jus' had too much for the one day, an' then he went down on me. I was feelin' **so** bad by then 'cause I knew he wasn't in to it an' I felt all guilty, like I made him go along with it when he didn't wanna. So by then I wasn't in to it anymore. He ended up goin' down on me like forever an' I only got the world's smallest orgasm. I felt so bad when it was all over. We both ended up apologizin' to each other when it was over 'cause it was so bad."
The group giggled unabashedly at Rogue's tale. A smiling Storm then said, "I have a good one to share too. This one took place on An'zhina, inside my room….actually, inside this very room," she realized. "One time, I ended up laying on my back on the table. I had my legs up and they were practically resting on Wolverine's shoulders. So he's….working away and he's really into it, really enjoying it. Now I'm pretty flexible, but I think I was just in that position for too long and after a while, my back was aching and my legs were falling asleep!" The women again started laughing, and Storm continued, her face with a slight blush. "My fingers were starting to hurt from gripping the sides of the table. I didn't want to suggest changing positions because I could just tell that Logan was having a great time. I'm just trying to hang onto the table, hoping it will end soon. He's usually pretty perceptive but he didn't have a clue that I wasn't enjoying it---I think he thought that I was grunting in ecstasy, not because my legs and back were in pain!"
More laughter ensued. Rogue was cracking up at the image of Storm and Wolverine in such a position.
Jubilee, through a haze of the giggles, managed to calm down and say, "Well, those were both good stories. But they still were just **one** bad time."
"I can tell of more than one so-so time," Jean said, speaking up. She added, "I don't think my story will be quite as funny as the previous two," she smiled. "But I will say that I understand what you're going through, Jubilee, because Scott and I took a long time before we really got in synch with each other in bed."
"What about your mindlink?" Rogue asked.
"We didn't always have one. It took a while before that developed. But at first, we did a lot of fumbling around, trying to figure out what each of us liked and just trying to get into a rhythm. We loved each other but the great lovemaking didn't just happen automatically. It really took a while," she said, looking towards Jubilee.
Rogue listened to Jean's story and she could not help but to feel a twinge of smugness. The first time ever that she and Remy had made love---through a barrier, before she was able to touch anyone---it had gone blissfully well and Rogue had easily climaxed. `Well, yeah but Scott ain't slept with 60 to 100 women before Jean,' she then told herself. 'Maybe Remy's experience really ain't such a bad thing after all.'
Rogue also considered sharing with the group about how Remy's facial stubble sometimes irritated her inner thighs after they were to make love repeatedly within a short period of time. But the moment for that passed and she decided not to tell the group about it.
Jean then added, "I remember one day, sitting on the floor with Scott, cuddling together. It was still early in our relationship, and we were talking about how good our relationship was and how much we loved each other, and how happy we were together. I said, `And out lovemaking will get better.' Scott said, 'It has to---it can't get any worse.' We were both able to laugh at that." The other woman shared a few giggles with Jean over that. "And now we can really look back and laugh at that because it has gotten so much better," she continued. "It's wonderful now; it just took a few months to get to that point."
Jean then looked at the group, still smiling, and added, "Sorry my story wasn't as funny as the other two. But sometimes, you just have to build up to great sex and it doesn't always happen right away."
"Like a session in the Danger Room," Storm said. "The first time you walked in there, you probably were not a success. You simply need to continue training and practicing, and then you gradually learn what to do." She then stopped herself and added, "Though perhaps that was not the best analogy to making love."
More smiles and grins followed. They soon wandered off the topic and Rogue, as facilitator asked what else anyone wanted to discuss. She hoped that no one would ask her for progress on the baby situation. Rogue still was not pregnant, which was disappointing. Her logical side knew indeed that this could take time, but it still was not comforting.
**********
"I want Dani! I can't take any more of this without her!"
Marrow raged at Psylocke one day aboard their starship. Betsy forced herself to silently count to ten. "Marrow, enough," she replied, her voice quiet but solid. "I am tired of hanging around Endaria."
"FOH is gonna send more ships, I'm sure," Marrow said, pacing the bridge. She promptly returned to her favorite topic. "I've beamed down to her room on that damn moon **three** times and Dani's blown me off each and every time!"
"A clean sign that she's not interested in you. Give it up! Marrow, it is time for us to break orbit and get the hell out of here. There's nothing going on here, and Roula and Thyme are as bored as I am."
"FOH ain't gonna just ignore the ships and crew we destroyed. They'll send more! Just be patient, Psylocke. We'll have plenty of bastards to kill soon."
Psylocke couldn't stifle a laugh. "**You're** telling **me** to be patient?" she muttered. "Marrow, maybe we oughtta head back to earth now. I want to leave here and get back to earth. We can kick some FOH ass there, and maybe you can go to a lesbian bar and pick up a girlfriend."
"If there are any left. With FOH in charge, I doubt there are many gathering places for lesbians outside of FOH's camps. Besides, I don't want any other woman---I just want Dani! And I'm not leaving Endaria without her!!" Marrow emphasized every word in that last sentence.
Psylocke shook her head, knowing she'd had this conversation with Marrow a dozen times before, and Marrow would not budge. She was resolute on this. Psylocke's mind began to churn out possible solutions and sought a way for them both to get what they wanted.
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Once Jean-Paul was cured, it became a very festive time on An'zhina, at least for me. Jeanne-Marie was happier than I'd ever seen her. It was an amazing transformation. The Jeanne-Marie I'd always known was sullen and morose, and rarely smiled (quite understandably, given everything she'd been through.) Once her brother's death sentence had been lifted, she become almost a new person. Jean-Paul told me that this was similar to the way Jeanne-Marie had been---before FOH took over, before all the tragedies that befell her.
Her happiness spilled over to Jean-Paul too. With no talk of a mission back to earth; indeed, with no way to **get** back to earth, we enjoyed some lazy, fun days on our haven. With, at various times, Jean-Paul, Jeanne-Marie, Rogue, Gambit, Storm, Jubilee, Sam, Hank, Panda --- any combination or the above or occasionally with other X-men as well, I spent my days at the beach, gardening, studying karate, playing with the children, or joining the An'zhinians on some of their endeavors. We took part in cooking classes, an occasional yoga class (I never really got the hang of it but it was fun to try), attending meetings of the "bad art" club where we took scraps and put them together into amateur pieces of art (or junk, depending on your point of view). A drama club was even formed on An'zhina and we watched them put on a production of Hamlet. (Hank absolutely adored it, bad as some of the acting was. I was looking forward to some of the more experimental pieces the drama club promised.) Hector was teaching Spanish to anyone who wanted to learn, and I picked up a very limited vocabulary.
These were such good times for me, especially because the twins were doing so well. My relationship with Jean-Paul was about as good as ever; we were two men very in love with each other. We went to bed together, woke up together, and every day I rejoiced for the man who was in my arms. When I was with Michael, back on earth so long ago, I never thought I'd meet anyone else as good as him. I especially thought that when Michael and I broke up----but now I see how wrong I was. What Michael and I had together was a pale shadow compared to what Jean-Paul and I now had. I loved Michael, no doubt. But Jean-Paul….I started to think that maybe he was my soulmate.
The only exception to this joyous time for me was Dani Moonstar, who generally had taken to her room and who I couldn't coax out of her depression, no matter what I said or did. I felt really terrible for her. I'd never fallen in love with a straight guy, but I can imagine what she's going through, being in love with a straight girl and not having her feelings returned.
Jubilee never mentioned Dani and was quite wrapped up in Sam. I was happy for Jubes. And, of course, I teased her now that her virgin status had been abandoned. She'd just smile and giggle, glad, I assumed to be in a good relationship. Sam seemed like a nice enough guy and miraculously, Wolverine basically approved of him. I don't think Sam realized how fortunate he was in that regard.
We celebrated Christmas on An'zhina, decorating the common areas and presenting people with replicated gifts. A wide variety of religions were held on An'zhina (and many people subscribed to no faith), so the nature of the group celebrations were nondenominational, though Kurt held ceremonies for the Christians, Storm and Shaman did the same for the earth-based or pagan religions, and Yunfei led some ceremonies for our many rescuees from Beijing, who practiced different religions such as Buddhism, Taoism and Confucianism.
We had a special "Christmas" (I keep calling it that, even though I gotta remember it technically was a nondenominational holiday) dinner for just the X-men. We X-men spent a very long evening (though it didn't feel the least bit long) together in largest conference room, which had been accordingly decorated. It felt weird to celebrate Christmas when it was so warm outside (I'm from the Midwest, remember, and used to seeing snow on the ground during Christmas), but Storm didn't want to disrupt the weather on the moon unnecessarily. So we simply turned down the temperature in that room a few notches and drank eggnog, hot chocolate, and spiced cider. Many X-men wore red or green sweaters, or other such items decorated with wintry scenes, which helped make it feel more like Christmas. Jubilee showed off some cute reindeer socks that she'd replicated.
Each X-man had been given another X-man's name for a gift exchange, and so we swapped replicated presents with each other. To me, the presents didn't mean quite as much since obtaining them was as simple as pressing a few buttons on a replicator. (Shaman had pulled my name, and I received the flower pots I wanted, which would've taken me all of five seconds to replicate myself. I had pulled Banshee's name and punched up a gift-wrapped copy of the book he requested in no time at all. Still, it was a nice concept to have the gift exchange.)
And this gift giving exchange was really for the children---each of whom received several gifts. Charlotte and Rory, resplendent in red dresses and with bows in their hair, ran around excitedly, opening gifts, kissing their Uncles and Aunts. Just watching them was tremendous fun. (Little Christopher was too young to really get into it much.)
All of the X-men attended, along with spouses and children (so both Banshee's and Shaman's wives and daughters were with us, though Moira was already an honorary X-man, obviously.) Angel was still dating Jean Grey's sister Sara, so Sara attended too. I noticed that that couple did not sit anywhere near Wolverine and Storm.
Even Dani Moonstar showed up, which surprised me. She sat near Storm and Wolverine during dinner, and I saw them talking with her. I made a point, after dinner, to go up to her. I knew that Dani loathed "small talk" and yet she didn't want to get into anything too deep either, obviously so our conversation was a little strained. But I was glad that she came. I suppose I don't need to say that she didn't sit near Jubilee and Cannonball.
The Professor made a toast during dinner, in which he thanked all of us and said that he appreciated everything we had done over the years. It was touching and sincere, though I wonder if a bit bittersweet for the Professor. I mean, here we were basically stranded on An'zhina, unable to get to earth, while thousands of mutants were experiencing some intense suffering back home. While we were doing so well, enjoying each other and our slice of paradise in space, the fate of our fellow mutants back home was gloomy. I knew that fact had to weigh on his mind constantly. Still, he didn't show it on Christmas. He said he was sincerely happy that all of us were here together.
There was just one awkward moment during the merry evening. Jubilee's daughter Aurora, who was talking quite a bit nowadays, made a comment. I'm not sure what brought it on. Maybe all the comments about Panda's pregnancy (little Rob---my namesake!----was due in about seven weeks) and her observation of Hank's interaction with Panda or Aurora's observation of Scott and Jean and their kids. But at one point (during a moment, unfortunately, when conversations had died down a bit), Rory loudly declared, "Want Daddy! I want Daddy too!"
The room really got quiet then. Jubilee kept her composure as awkward as this had to be for her. She said, simply and firmly, "You don't have a Daddy, you have lots of Uncles and Aunts instead. Want another brownie?"
"Yeah!" And that was that. The subject was apparently forgotten in a gooey chocolate haze. The rest of us forgot it too and resumed our conversations.
It really was a wonderful evening, just spending time with all of the X-men. I got to catch up with those I didn't see outside of the Danger Room much. Perhaps fortunately, Jean-Paul and I didn't interact too much with Scott and Jean though we played with Charlotte quite a bit. I had no idea what was going through Scott and Jean's minds or how much they might be resenting us. They seemed to be themselves on the surface, though Scott looked a tad preoccupied.
Despite how great the holiday evening was, I didn't really get into the holiday from a spiritual side though. I never had. My religious beliefs were still somewhat in limbo. I believed that there probably was some sort of divine force out there, but I didn't subscribe to any particular religious faith or even feel a great need to pray.
Jean-Paul and I didn't talk about our religious differences too much though; we never had. He still considered himself Catholic and he had attended one of the Mass ceremonies that Nightcrawler held around Christmas. He never attended them at any other time, though he did tell me that he prayed quite a bit.
Even though we X-men were in a bit of a holding pattern, being stranded on An'zhina, the holidays were a merry time for most of us, it seemed. Looking around the room at the faces of so many people I loved, I felt very very lucky. Or, I should say, I realized how lucky I truly was.
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TO BE CONTINUED
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