When we last left our lovable hero, he was knee deep in the blood of the thousands of corpses that had been swallowed in the eternal abyss of damnation
Nah, i'm just screwing with ya, he was getting bitched at by Nixon.
"Damn hippies, get out of my freaking oval office!" Belched the oily despot.
"haha....boobies," said an obvious drunk and incarcerated Spider-God.
Nixon made a quick hand motion and summoned his secret service agents, Mr. Smasher and Chancellor Knuckles to deal with the spansex-clad vigilante. Pete's spider sense went off like a bullet train in Osaka, and he quickly got his haggard ass out of the line of fire. Chancellor Knuckles caught the wily demon by his neck and began to squeeze the life out of him, pictures of nude Mary Jane began to fade out of Peter's head like a man's receding hairline. thoughtlessness was replaced by the all-powerful emotion of fear, and Spider-Man quickly tried to escape from Knuckles hairy mitts.
"Unhand me you foul-smelling gypsy!" Cried the musky smelling vagrant.
"Not bloody likely Spider-Bizatch!" Cackled the corpulent beast.
Spider-Man was left with no choice, his legs dangling in the air, he managed to land a foot in the beast's crotch, sending him into a pain-induced eternal slumber.
Mr. Smasher came out of nowhere with a two by four, knocking Spider-Man out faster than you can say "Quidditch."
"What should we do with this one Madame President?" asked the smasher of smashing.
"What we always do with all Spider-Men...make them fight me in a boxing match!" cried the Commander-in-Chief.
Mr. Smasher felt the beads of sweat fall from his forehead and he pondered the presidents sanity, but then he saw cabbage, his favorite food, and could think of nothing else.
Well, except for nude Mary Jane.
-To be continued-
Nah, i'm just screwing with ya, he was getting bitched at by Nixon.
"Damn hippies, get out of my freaking oval office!" Belched the oily despot.
"haha....boobies," said an obvious drunk and incarcerated Spider-God.
Nixon made a quick hand motion and summoned his secret service agents, Mr. Smasher and Chancellor Knuckles to deal with the spansex-clad vigilante. Pete's spider sense went off like a bullet train in Osaka, and he quickly got his haggard ass out of the line of fire. Chancellor Knuckles caught the wily demon by his neck and began to squeeze the life out of him, pictures of nude Mary Jane began to fade out of Peter's head like a man's receding hairline. thoughtlessness was replaced by the all-powerful emotion of fear, and Spider-Man quickly tried to escape from Knuckles hairy mitts.
"Unhand me you foul-smelling gypsy!" Cried the musky smelling vagrant.
"Not bloody likely Spider-Bizatch!" Cackled the corpulent beast.
Spider-Man was left with no choice, his legs dangling in the air, he managed to land a foot in the beast's crotch, sending him into a pain-induced eternal slumber.
Mr. Smasher came out of nowhere with a two by four, knocking Spider-Man out faster than you can say "Quidditch."
"What should we do with this one Madame President?" asked the smasher of smashing.
"What we always do with all Spider-Men...make them fight me in a boxing match!" cried the Commander-in-Chief.
Mr. Smasher felt the beads of sweat fall from his forehead and he pondered the presidents sanity, but then he saw cabbage, his favorite food, and could think of nothing else.
Well, except for nude Mary Jane.
-To be continued-