Disclaimer: Characters belong to ASP, not to me
Lorelai got back home an hour later. It had taken her some time to regain her composure and she had been in deep need of Luke's comfort. He had held her for a long time and he wouldn't let go of her before she stopped crying. He kept telling her that everything was going to be fine over and over. But she already believed it before he even said it. Something about the way he held her, the way he gently kissed her on the forehead assured her, that everything would turn out to be fine in the end. After a while, when she had been in his arms long enough to recover, she straightened up pulling away from him. She had to go home and look after Rory. Luke knew what she was up to and smiled reassuringly. She gently kissed him goodbye and softly said: "Thank you – I love you" Luke kissed her once more and then said: "I love you, too". The both of them got up and he walked her to the door. As soon as Lorelai entered her house though, she knew that Rory wasn't there. She was surprised. Rory's conversation with Dean could not have taken that long, unless.... No, no, Rory wouldn't do that. She had to be somewhere else. Maybe at Lane's. Lorelai walked over to the phone in order to call Lane's apartment and then she saw the note lying on the little side- table.
Mom- I need to get out of Stars Hollow. I talked to Dean and I told him I didn't love him. He took it fairly well. However, I just need to get out of here. I need to figure out myself and I need to be away from everyone for a while. At the moment Stars Hollow is killing me. I don't know where I am going and I don't know for how long I will be away, but I want you to know that I love you. I am sorry that I didn't talk to you, but I had to do this and I was afraid you wouldn't let me go. Don't worry, Rory.
Lorelai had to sit down on the couch. Rory was gone. Off to somewhere. Without a goodbye. But she was right. Lorelai being the mother she is would not have let her go. Instinctively Lorelai knew that Rory had to be for herself and get away for a while in order to get a different view of it all. Rory had done the right thing. Lorelai could do nothing but wait and hope that her daughter was fine. She picked up the phone and dialled:
"Luke, do you want to come over and have lunch?"
Rory had been sitting on the bus for a while when she noticed that they had arrived in the outskirts of New York. Against the blue coloured sky you could make out the skyline of Manhattan. The sky had been grey all the way, but once they hit the city it turned into a beautiful day. Rory had taken the first bus out of Hartford which turned out to be going to New York City. Was it fate? She didn't care. She just wanted to get away from home as fast as possible. And the big city sounded good to here. People everywhere, commotion and traffic. She could hide within the crowds and flow along with them. No one would notice her and yet she would feel the beat of life. She needed to feel life again. The whole ride she had been staring out of the window but not really looking at what was out there. To her everything seemed grey and hopeless. She didn't notice the people around her. Only occasionally she looked up when the bus had come to another stop. She just stared blankly out of the window battling inside her. What have I done? These words kept repeating themselves over and over. Finally they arrived at the central bus stop in Manhattan. Rory recognized it. She had been here before. That was when she had come to see Jess... Rory got off the bus and pulled her bag closer. This was New York City. It was safer to keep your belongings close to yourself. She hadn't had time to pack much before she had left Stars Hollow so she only had the basics with her. No books, no music. Just a few clothes and toiletries. And money of course. She had been to an ATM in Hartford and had gotten quite an amount of money out of her savings account. She didn't know where she was headed and how much she was going to need. She walked a few blocks and the longer she walked to more she felt like she was breathing again. The city was so lively with all the noise and the commotion and the people. It somewhat restored her spirits. Without even noticing Rory arrived at Washington Square. When she realized where she was she stood still. The last time, she had met him here. He had been here reading. Unconsciously she looked around trying to find him here, but he was not there. How could he. He was probably in California with his Dad or somewhere else. And even if he was in this city, how big was the chance of meeting him here. There were literally millions of people Rory sat down on a bench and started looking around. She didn't want to walk anymore. Something kept her here, and she knew what it was. It was him. It was Jess. He had been right when he said that they belonged together. Even though he had hurt her so bad, she still could not leave him and her feelings for him behind. She had never been over him. She had said so, but it wasn't true. When he had told her he loved her, she wanted to say it back, but she wouldn't let herself do it. Instead she just let him drive away. She had tricked herself into sending him away last week although she wanted him there. She did love him. She had never stopped loving him. He was supposed to be her first time. She had realized that a year ago, but he left before it ever came that far. She was supposed to be with him, but she chose Dean instead. She loved Jess, but she had slept with Dean. Rory couldn't cry anymore. She had cried enough the last two days. On the inside she was weeping though. So she just sat there motionless.
He recognized her at once when he saw her. Even though he could only see her back, it was her sitting on the bench that was for sure. He didn't know what to do. She had rejected him the week before and whatever she was doing here she was not here because of him. He had poured out her heart to her, but it was too late. She didn't love him anymore. She had turned back to Dean. It might have been crazy to ask her to go away with him, but that's how he had felt at that moment. He wanted a new start, but she didn't. She said no. No to him, no to them. It was over. He had to try and get over her. Even if he could never feel for anyone the same as he did for her. He had to leave her behind. It hurt too much. Jess turned around and then started walking away from her.
She didn't know why, but all of a sudden she could sense him. He was right behind her. It was him, she could feel it. She turned around and saw him walk away. No, she thought to herself, no, you need to make him stay.
"Jess" she cried. "Jess stop. Wait!" she cried helplessly.
Jess stopped at once. Shit, she had seen him. He couldn't do this. He had to walk away from her. But then no, no walking away again. He had to turn around and face her, he had to.
When he looked at her, and saw the destroyed look in her eyes and the dead expression on her face he knew something had happened. She was hurt. Not by him though, not by him, he kept telling himself and he did not even noticed that he had walked towards her and was no less than three feet away from her. Rory had stood up and was looking straight into his eyes. He could see that she had been crying.
"Jess" she said softly.
"Rory what's wrong?" He couldn't help it. He loved her. He cared about her.
"Jess, I made a terrible mistake. I slept with Dean, but I don't love him and he's married."
It was like a hit in the face and everything inside him turned around. He couldn't say anything. He could just stare at her, not wanting to believe what she had just said.
Rory looked at him. As soon as she had said it his look changed. Before he had looked like he tried not to show how much seeing her affected him, but now he looked hurt and sad. She had hurt him even more and then it crushed her again. She had hurt the ones she loved, she had hurt her mom and she had hurt him.
Jess could see Rory sink to the ground. She just fell and he rushed over to catch her. He was able to grab a hold of her before she fell on the ground. There she was in his arms, unable to hold herself up anymore.
Lorelai got back home an hour later. It had taken her some time to regain her composure and she had been in deep need of Luke's comfort. He had held her for a long time and he wouldn't let go of her before she stopped crying. He kept telling her that everything was going to be fine over and over. But she already believed it before he even said it. Something about the way he held her, the way he gently kissed her on the forehead assured her, that everything would turn out to be fine in the end. After a while, when she had been in his arms long enough to recover, she straightened up pulling away from him. She had to go home and look after Rory. Luke knew what she was up to and smiled reassuringly. She gently kissed him goodbye and softly said: "Thank you – I love you" Luke kissed her once more and then said: "I love you, too". The both of them got up and he walked her to the door. As soon as Lorelai entered her house though, she knew that Rory wasn't there. She was surprised. Rory's conversation with Dean could not have taken that long, unless.... No, no, Rory wouldn't do that. She had to be somewhere else. Maybe at Lane's. Lorelai walked over to the phone in order to call Lane's apartment and then she saw the note lying on the little side- table.
Mom- I need to get out of Stars Hollow. I talked to Dean and I told him I didn't love him. He took it fairly well. However, I just need to get out of here. I need to figure out myself and I need to be away from everyone for a while. At the moment Stars Hollow is killing me. I don't know where I am going and I don't know for how long I will be away, but I want you to know that I love you. I am sorry that I didn't talk to you, but I had to do this and I was afraid you wouldn't let me go. Don't worry, Rory.
Lorelai had to sit down on the couch. Rory was gone. Off to somewhere. Without a goodbye. But she was right. Lorelai being the mother she is would not have let her go. Instinctively Lorelai knew that Rory had to be for herself and get away for a while in order to get a different view of it all. Rory had done the right thing. Lorelai could do nothing but wait and hope that her daughter was fine. She picked up the phone and dialled:
"Luke, do you want to come over and have lunch?"
Rory had been sitting on the bus for a while when she noticed that they had arrived in the outskirts of New York. Against the blue coloured sky you could make out the skyline of Manhattan. The sky had been grey all the way, but once they hit the city it turned into a beautiful day. Rory had taken the first bus out of Hartford which turned out to be going to New York City. Was it fate? She didn't care. She just wanted to get away from home as fast as possible. And the big city sounded good to here. People everywhere, commotion and traffic. She could hide within the crowds and flow along with them. No one would notice her and yet she would feel the beat of life. She needed to feel life again. The whole ride she had been staring out of the window but not really looking at what was out there. To her everything seemed grey and hopeless. She didn't notice the people around her. Only occasionally she looked up when the bus had come to another stop. She just stared blankly out of the window battling inside her. What have I done? These words kept repeating themselves over and over. Finally they arrived at the central bus stop in Manhattan. Rory recognized it. She had been here before. That was when she had come to see Jess... Rory got off the bus and pulled her bag closer. This was New York City. It was safer to keep your belongings close to yourself. She hadn't had time to pack much before she had left Stars Hollow so she only had the basics with her. No books, no music. Just a few clothes and toiletries. And money of course. She had been to an ATM in Hartford and had gotten quite an amount of money out of her savings account. She didn't know where she was headed and how much she was going to need. She walked a few blocks and the longer she walked to more she felt like she was breathing again. The city was so lively with all the noise and the commotion and the people. It somewhat restored her spirits. Without even noticing Rory arrived at Washington Square. When she realized where she was she stood still. The last time, she had met him here. He had been here reading. Unconsciously she looked around trying to find him here, but he was not there. How could he. He was probably in California with his Dad or somewhere else. And even if he was in this city, how big was the chance of meeting him here. There were literally millions of people Rory sat down on a bench and started looking around. She didn't want to walk anymore. Something kept her here, and she knew what it was. It was him. It was Jess. He had been right when he said that they belonged together. Even though he had hurt her so bad, she still could not leave him and her feelings for him behind. She had never been over him. She had said so, but it wasn't true. When he had told her he loved her, she wanted to say it back, but she wouldn't let herself do it. Instead she just let him drive away. She had tricked herself into sending him away last week although she wanted him there. She did love him. She had never stopped loving him. He was supposed to be her first time. She had realized that a year ago, but he left before it ever came that far. She was supposed to be with him, but she chose Dean instead. She loved Jess, but she had slept with Dean. Rory couldn't cry anymore. She had cried enough the last two days. On the inside she was weeping though. So she just sat there motionless.
He recognized her at once when he saw her. Even though he could only see her back, it was her sitting on the bench that was for sure. He didn't know what to do. She had rejected him the week before and whatever she was doing here she was not here because of him. He had poured out her heart to her, but it was too late. She didn't love him anymore. She had turned back to Dean. It might have been crazy to ask her to go away with him, but that's how he had felt at that moment. He wanted a new start, but she didn't. She said no. No to him, no to them. It was over. He had to try and get over her. Even if he could never feel for anyone the same as he did for her. He had to leave her behind. It hurt too much. Jess turned around and then started walking away from her.
She didn't know why, but all of a sudden she could sense him. He was right behind her. It was him, she could feel it. She turned around and saw him walk away. No, she thought to herself, no, you need to make him stay.
"Jess" she cried. "Jess stop. Wait!" she cried helplessly.
Jess stopped at once. Shit, she had seen him. He couldn't do this. He had to walk away from her. But then no, no walking away again. He had to turn around and face her, he had to.
When he looked at her, and saw the destroyed look in her eyes and the dead expression on her face he knew something had happened. She was hurt. Not by him though, not by him, he kept telling himself and he did not even noticed that he had walked towards her and was no less than three feet away from her. Rory had stood up and was looking straight into his eyes. He could see that she had been crying.
"Jess" she said softly.
"Rory what's wrong?" He couldn't help it. He loved her. He cared about her.
"Jess, I made a terrible mistake. I slept with Dean, but I don't love him and he's married."
It was like a hit in the face and everything inside him turned around. He couldn't say anything. He could just stare at her, not wanting to believe what she had just said.
Rory looked at him. As soon as she had said it his look changed. Before he had looked like he tried not to show how much seeing her affected him, but now he looked hurt and sad. She had hurt him even more and then it crushed her again. She had hurt the ones she loved, she had hurt her mom and she had hurt him.
Jess could see Rory sink to the ground. She just fell and he rushed over to catch her. He was able to grab a hold of her before she fell on the ground. There she was in his arms, unable to hold herself up anymore.