Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story
He had taken her to his mom's apartment. After getting back to New York last week he had decided to move out of the crappy place he had lived before. Even if Rory wasn't with him, he still had to start a new life. He had to find a way to make something out of himself, maybe just to prove that he was right when he told her he was a person to count on. When Liz offered him to stay at her place for as long as she was on her honeymoon with T.J. he thankfully accepted the offer. At least he had a decent place to stay. At least he had a decent place to take Rory too. She was so weak, it almost scared him. She couldn't walk so he carried her. Luckily it was only a few blocks. But he would have carried her further than that if he had too. He had wanted to take her to a hospital but she did not want him to.
"No, no hospital. And please Jess, don't call my mom..." it took all her strength to say that. She was worn out and every inch of her body was aching. It was a great relief when Jess had put her into a bed. She did not know whose it was. Was it his? No, it didn't smell like him. This bed was for a couple.
"Jess, I...." she started wanting to say that she loved him, wanting to say how much she regretted everything, wanting to make him hurt less.
"Sshhh, Rory you're worn out. You need to go to sleep. Don't worry, just go to sleep. I am here, it's safe..."
Rory nodded slightly and closed her eyes. He watched her silently. He still could not believe it. It didn't take long and she was asleep. He noticed because her breathing had become steadily and the look on her face showed relaxation. Yet, he could still see the pain on her face, the devastation. Still, she looked as beautiful as always, like an angel. Well, today like a fallen angel...
The phone rang and Lorelai immediately rushed towards it. She had been sitting on the couch with Luke and Luke had gotten up as well. Was it Rory?
"Lorelai Gilmore." Jess didn't answer right away. He was amazed that he still new their number by heart.
"Hello, Rory is that you?"
"No, it's Jess."
"Jess?"
"Yeah, I am calling to tell you that she's here in New York at Liz's apartment. She broke down and is sleeping now. She didn't want me to call you, but I figured you were probably worried. I'll take care of her." Jess hung up. He didn't want to hear Lorelai's reply. She would probably be here pretty soon to pick up Rory. Luke knew where Liz lived. Lorelai would never leave Rory in his hands longer than necessary, but then, did she know about Dean?
Lorelai lay down the phone and turned to Luke.
"She's with Jess. He said she's fine."
"What? She's with Jess"
"Yes, and he called me without her knowing about it."
Luke didn't know what to say. He knew only too well, that Lorelai still despised Jess for what he had done to Rory. She didn't trust him. Luke, however did trust him. He knew Jess loved Rory.
"Lorelai," he said "don't worry. She'll be fine. He'll take care of her. We can go get her."
"No, she'll come back if she needs us. I guess I have to trust Jess. Can't be worse than Dean." Luke could tell that Lorelai felt helpless. She couldn't do anything to help her daughter.
"Jess won't harm her. He loves her...."
"He does?"
"Yeah he told me, he told her. I know it's true."
"He told her?"
"Evidently"
Lorelai did not respond for a moment and then turned to look Luke straight in the eye.
"She'll be fine. She loves him, too. I never wanted to admit it, but I saw her reaction every time she saw him. She never got over him."
Rory woke up and this time she immediately knew where she was. Jess had taken her here. Jess. Where was he? How long had she been sleeping? She could tell it was already dark outside. She noticed that she was in a bedroom. A woman's bedroom. Pink curtains, go figure. The door was closed. Had Jess left? He had to be somewhere in this apartment. He had said that he was going to be there. Rory got up still feeling exhausted, but not as bad as before. The sleeping surely had helped a lot. She noticed that there was a bathroom next to the bedroom and went in, in order to splash some water in her face. The cold water felt nice. She looked at herself in the mirror and it almost freaked her out. She looked so worn out. Like she hadn't slept in a week. Just then her stomach started growling. Right she hadn't eaten since this morning. She turned of the water and went out of the room into a hallway. She noticed that there was only one other door, which was open. She slowly walked up to it until she stood in the door. There he was, reading. He hadn't noticed her. He just sat there reading his book, like he always used to when they were still together. He looked older though, like he had gone through some hard times. Suddenly he looked up and upon seeing her in the doorway immediately got up.
"Hey, you're awake. Did you sleep alright?"
"Yes."
"Well, uhm, how are you feeling?"
"I feel better. Thank you. I mean thank you for taking care of me not just for asking."
"It's okay" he quickly sad "I told you, you could count on me, right?"
"Yeah right." She said and tried to smile. Then there was an awkward silence. Neither one of them knew how to make the next step. Jess kept looking at Rory and Rory kept looking at him. There they were again.
"Well, uhm, are you hungry?" Rory had to smile. She was a Gilmore, of course she was hungry. Both of them noticed that it was her first real smile since she got there.
"Kind of."
"Okay, there's still some left-over Chinese in the fridge that I could heat up for you, or I could go get you burgers or a pizza. Or anything else you want. I mean we're in New York City. You could get snales if you wanted some."
"Eeww, no I think Chinese will do, unless you want some snales"
"No, stopped eating them ever since I am back in civilization."
She couldn't help it but he made her laugh. He always could do that. Even when she was mad at him, he was still able to make her laugh. She watched him as he went to heat up her food. The kitchen and the living-room were just one room, but all together everything was nicely arranged.
"Is this you're place?" Rory asked while sitting down on the couch.
"Do I look like I would decorate my apartment with silk roses?" Rory looked around and noticed that there was a huge amount of silk roses spread out everywhere in the room.
"Hhm, I don't know, I mean you always had that special softie side to you..." Jess smirked at her. They always teased each other.
"It's Liz's apartment. I am only staying here until I find a new place."
"I see" she said. Then the microwave went off and Jess prepared the food on a plate for her before he came over to the couch He handed her the food and sat down in a chair across from her. He didn't feel comfortable sitting next to her on the couch. The temptation to touch her was too big. She had rejected him and that was it. At least now she seemed to be okay with being in the same room, and he didn't want to spoil that. Instead he just watched her munch away the Chinese food and he didn't say anything. Rory, being the Gilmore her mother had raised her to be, finished quickly. She put her plate down on the coffee-table in front of her and put her hands in her lap. She didn't know how to start. So they just sat there in silence for a while, both of them just enjoying the presence of the other. However they weren't able to look each other in the eye, both afraid of what might happen when they did. Both afraid of hurt and rejection. Finally Jess managed to look at Rory and she looked up to meet his gaze. Here we are again she thought. She had to say something. It was up to her to explain. She had to tell him how she felt. "Jess, I'm sorry..."
"Oh don't be sorry it's alright, don't worry about it. You can stay here as long as you need to"-
"I wasn't apologizing for that" Jess looked at her astonished.
"What are you sorry for then?"
"For hurting you last week. For letting you walk away so many times. For saying no when I should have said yes. For not telling you I loved you when you told me you loved you. For pushing you away. For yelling at you back in Stars Hollow. For sleeping with Dean when all I wanted was you." There it was she lost it. Although she didn't want to she started crying yet again. It made her mad. She didn't want to cry anymore. She wanted to be strong again. It hurt Jess to see her put out like that. He couldn't stand to see her hurt that way and instinctively moved to the couch and took her in his arms. She held on to him, her head against his chest.
"You don't need to be sorry."
"Can you forgive me then?"
"Forgive you what? I am the one to blame. I ran away and came back just to run away again. I asked you to come with me which was ridiculous after all what I had done to you. Rory I am sorry. I am the one who needs to ask for forgiveness."
"I have already forgiven you." Rory said honestly looking up into his eyes. "I love you Jess, whatever you would do couldn't make me love you less."
"Oh Rory" Jess said suppressing tears building up in his eyes. She had forgiven him. She loved him. That was all he needed to know. He pulled her up until they were face to face and kissed her. They kissed slowly at first. Rory put her hands in his neck and softly played with his hair. It was as if they had never been apart. This didn't just seem right. This felt right. It was right. They belonged to each other. Even after they stopped kissing they still wouldn't let go of each other. They had been apart for too long. Finally Rory pulled back a little looked at Jess and sadly said:
"I slept with Dean."
"I know. It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me. I wanted it to be you."
"It's okay. It's over. It hurts, but it will stop hurting. We're together that's important, nothing else."
Without further ado Jess pulled her back into his arms and kissed her again more passionately. Even if he would not be her first one, he would hold on to her, he loved her and never wanted to let her go again.
He had taken her to his mom's apartment. After getting back to New York last week he had decided to move out of the crappy place he had lived before. Even if Rory wasn't with him, he still had to start a new life. He had to find a way to make something out of himself, maybe just to prove that he was right when he told her he was a person to count on. When Liz offered him to stay at her place for as long as she was on her honeymoon with T.J. he thankfully accepted the offer. At least he had a decent place to stay. At least he had a decent place to take Rory too. She was so weak, it almost scared him. She couldn't walk so he carried her. Luckily it was only a few blocks. But he would have carried her further than that if he had too. He had wanted to take her to a hospital but she did not want him to.
"No, no hospital. And please Jess, don't call my mom..." it took all her strength to say that. She was worn out and every inch of her body was aching. It was a great relief when Jess had put her into a bed. She did not know whose it was. Was it his? No, it didn't smell like him. This bed was for a couple.
"Jess, I...." she started wanting to say that she loved him, wanting to say how much she regretted everything, wanting to make him hurt less.
"Sshhh, Rory you're worn out. You need to go to sleep. Don't worry, just go to sleep. I am here, it's safe..."
Rory nodded slightly and closed her eyes. He watched her silently. He still could not believe it. It didn't take long and she was asleep. He noticed because her breathing had become steadily and the look on her face showed relaxation. Yet, he could still see the pain on her face, the devastation. Still, she looked as beautiful as always, like an angel. Well, today like a fallen angel...
The phone rang and Lorelai immediately rushed towards it. She had been sitting on the couch with Luke and Luke had gotten up as well. Was it Rory?
"Lorelai Gilmore." Jess didn't answer right away. He was amazed that he still new their number by heart.
"Hello, Rory is that you?"
"No, it's Jess."
"Jess?"
"Yeah, I am calling to tell you that she's here in New York at Liz's apartment. She broke down and is sleeping now. She didn't want me to call you, but I figured you were probably worried. I'll take care of her." Jess hung up. He didn't want to hear Lorelai's reply. She would probably be here pretty soon to pick up Rory. Luke knew where Liz lived. Lorelai would never leave Rory in his hands longer than necessary, but then, did she know about Dean?
Lorelai lay down the phone and turned to Luke.
"She's with Jess. He said she's fine."
"What? She's with Jess"
"Yes, and he called me without her knowing about it."
Luke didn't know what to say. He knew only too well, that Lorelai still despised Jess for what he had done to Rory. She didn't trust him. Luke, however did trust him. He knew Jess loved Rory.
"Lorelai," he said "don't worry. She'll be fine. He'll take care of her. We can go get her."
"No, she'll come back if she needs us. I guess I have to trust Jess. Can't be worse than Dean." Luke could tell that Lorelai felt helpless. She couldn't do anything to help her daughter.
"Jess won't harm her. He loves her...."
"He does?"
"Yeah he told me, he told her. I know it's true."
"He told her?"
"Evidently"
Lorelai did not respond for a moment and then turned to look Luke straight in the eye.
"She'll be fine. She loves him, too. I never wanted to admit it, but I saw her reaction every time she saw him. She never got over him."
Rory woke up and this time she immediately knew where she was. Jess had taken her here. Jess. Where was he? How long had she been sleeping? She could tell it was already dark outside. She noticed that she was in a bedroom. A woman's bedroom. Pink curtains, go figure. The door was closed. Had Jess left? He had to be somewhere in this apartment. He had said that he was going to be there. Rory got up still feeling exhausted, but not as bad as before. The sleeping surely had helped a lot. She noticed that there was a bathroom next to the bedroom and went in, in order to splash some water in her face. The cold water felt nice. She looked at herself in the mirror and it almost freaked her out. She looked so worn out. Like she hadn't slept in a week. Just then her stomach started growling. Right she hadn't eaten since this morning. She turned of the water and went out of the room into a hallway. She noticed that there was only one other door, which was open. She slowly walked up to it until she stood in the door. There he was, reading. He hadn't noticed her. He just sat there reading his book, like he always used to when they were still together. He looked older though, like he had gone through some hard times. Suddenly he looked up and upon seeing her in the doorway immediately got up.
"Hey, you're awake. Did you sleep alright?"
"Yes."
"Well, uhm, how are you feeling?"
"I feel better. Thank you. I mean thank you for taking care of me not just for asking."
"It's okay" he quickly sad "I told you, you could count on me, right?"
"Yeah right." She said and tried to smile. Then there was an awkward silence. Neither one of them knew how to make the next step. Jess kept looking at Rory and Rory kept looking at him. There they were again.
"Well, uhm, are you hungry?" Rory had to smile. She was a Gilmore, of course she was hungry. Both of them noticed that it was her first real smile since she got there.
"Kind of."
"Okay, there's still some left-over Chinese in the fridge that I could heat up for you, or I could go get you burgers or a pizza. Or anything else you want. I mean we're in New York City. You could get snales if you wanted some."
"Eeww, no I think Chinese will do, unless you want some snales"
"No, stopped eating them ever since I am back in civilization."
She couldn't help it but he made her laugh. He always could do that. Even when she was mad at him, he was still able to make her laugh. She watched him as he went to heat up her food. The kitchen and the living-room were just one room, but all together everything was nicely arranged.
"Is this you're place?" Rory asked while sitting down on the couch.
"Do I look like I would decorate my apartment with silk roses?" Rory looked around and noticed that there was a huge amount of silk roses spread out everywhere in the room.
"Hhm, I don't know, I mean you always had that special softie side to you..." Jess smirked at her. They always teased each other.
"It's Liz's apartment. I am only staying here until I find a new place."
"I see" she said. Then the microwave went off and Jess prepared the food on a plate for her before he came over to the couch He handed her the food and sat down in a chair across from her. He didn't feel comfortable sitting next to her on the couch. The temptation to touch her was too big. She had rejected him and that was it. At least now she seemed to be okay with being in the same room, and he didn't want to spoil that. Instead he just watched her munch away the Chinese food and he didn't say anything. Rory, being the Gilmore her mother had raised her to be, finished quickly. She put her plate down on the coffee-table in front of her and put her hands in her lap. She didn't know how to start. So they just sat there in silence for a while, both of them just enjoying the presence of the other. However they weren't able to look each other in the eye, both afraid of what might happen when they did. Both afraid of hurt and rejection. Finally Jess managed to look at Rory and she looked up to meet his gaze. Here we are again she thought. She had to say something. It was up to her to explain. She had to tell him how she felt. "Jess, I'm sorry..."
"Oh don't be sorry it's alright, don't worry about it. You can stay here as long as you need to"-
"I wasn't apologizing for that" Jess looked at her astonished.
"What are you sorry for then?"
"For hurting you last week. For letting you walk away so many times. For saying no when I should have said yes. For not telling you I loved you when you told me you loved you. For pushing you away. For yelling at you back in Stars Hollow. For sleeping with Dean when all I wanted was you." There it was she lost it. Although she didn't want to she started crying yet again. It made her mad. She didn't want to cry anymore. She wanted to be strong again. It hurt Jess to see her put out like that. He couldn't stand to see her hurt that way and instinctively moved to the couch and took her in his arms. She held on to him, her head against his chest.
"You don't need to be sorry."
"Can you forgive me then?"
"Forgive you what? I am the one to blame. I ran away and came back just to run away again. I asked you to come with me which was ridiculous after all what I had done to you. Rory I am sorry. I am the one who needs to ask for forgiveness."
"I have already forgiven you." Rory said honestly looking up into his eyes. "I love you Jess, whatever you would do couldn't make me love you less."
"Oh Rory" Jess said suppressing tears building up in his eyes. She had forgiven him. She loved him. That was all he needed to know. He pulled her up until they were face to face and kissed her. They kissed slowly at first. Rory put her hands in his neck and softly played with his hair. It was as if they had never been apart. This didn't just seem right. This felt right. It was right. They belonged to each other. Even after they stopped kissing they still wouldn't let go of each other. They had been apart for too long. Finally Rory pulled back a little looked at Jess and sadly said:
"I slept with Dean."
"I know. It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me. I wanted it to be you."
"It's okay. It's over. It hurts, but it will stop hurting. We're together that's important, nothing else."
Without further ado Jess pulled her back into his arms and kissed her again more passionately. Even if he would not be her first one, he would hold on to her, he loved her and never wanted to let her go again.