Author's Note: Sorry it's taking so long to update each story but I have
so many going on right now. Well I just posted "Of You" which should
hopefully have cured my depression. You all should read it; it actually
made me cry as I wrote it. Anyway, Victim is still going strong and I
should post the next chapter of that soon. Also Switched will continue,
despite a couple of negative reviews. I don't think it was the bad, or
that confusing but...you all did so I will try to clear up the confusion in
the next chapter. I worked the past three days in a row so that's why it
is taking so long to update. Sting was in town, and last night was
Chicago. Not big shows, but still I was there for about seven hours. Good
chunk of my day gone right there. Plus, with my depression, I was
transfixed on Final Fantasy X-2. I updated Survivor, I think it deserves
more reviews, its really one of my best works. I also wrote Of You, which
details the end of the game from Yuna's point of view. I think I'm good to
go on Final Fantasy Seven again though, so yes...I'm back! My heart is
fleeting but...I'm back. Oh also, for the most part I think, from now
on...Tifa's wardrobe will come from FFX2, just in case you all are wondering
what the hell she is wearing!
Her bags were packed. She was really leaving this time. She was going...home. She was going back to Nibelheim, to be with her father. She didn't know what she would do when she got there, how she would make a living, but she knew that she was better off there than Midgar.
She was waiting for the train. Tears streamed down her face as she looked down the tracks, waiting for the locomotive to come and whisk her away. She wanted to leave this place. There were so many bad memories here. Memories of a job she never wanted...memories of Cloud.
Cloud, she sneered at his name. She meant nothing to him, but he meant everything to her. She didn't do anything with him, so how could she say that he used her? He hadn't done anything to her...except give her an extra thousand gil. She would use that money to get as far away from that town as possible. She wanted to go home. She hadn't even spoken to her father since she had become a stripper, too embarrassed to face him, to confront him. How could she tell him what she was? No father could accept his daughter after such a revelation. She only hoped that he hadn't read the papers or watched the news and saw her story.
She could see the train off in the distance. Smoke was billowing from the engine and she could hear the distinct cry of its whistle. It stopped in front of her, the wind disturbed by its presence, blowing against her skin and giving her goose bumps. She was wearing a pair of dark denim shorts that let the bottom of her ass show. She had on a white string tank top with pink lace along the bottom. Her hair was in its usual low ponytail, and she wore black knee-high lace-up boots. Despite her description, she did not look like a whore.
She stepped into the awaiting train and took a seat by the window, just as Cloud had done when he had left. She leaned her head against the window and watched as the city she had gone to with so much hope, so much promise, disappeared from her view. She had thought that her life would be so much better by moving there, but she was wrong. The only thing she was left with, as the train fled from the station, was regret.
She felt her eyes close as she fell into a fitful sleep. She had not seen the sky yet. It was still dark when she had fallen asleep and she knew that she had still been under the plate. She dreamed of him. He was...with her, at the bar. She wasn't dancing, she was working behind the bar, serving him a drink. They were both smiling and laughing. But then, he left...just got up and walked out the door, never to return.
She woke up startled. There was a tear running down her cheek. She shook her head, a bitterness inside of her that she had never felt before. He had lied to her, and she hated him for it. Or at least, she wanted to hate him. She knew that she could never despise him, but for now, anger seemed the easiest way to push him from her mind.
The train was over water. There was a bridge built between the continents so that trains could cross easily and cargo could get to its destination faster, without having to be loaded onto a boat and ferried. Tifa looked up at the sky. It was so bright and clear; she had forgotten what it was like. She squinted her eyes because of the sun's brightness. She smiled; she hadn't realized just how much she missed natural light.
She gazed up into it for hours, until she could see the faint outline of Nibelheim in the distance. She laughed to herself; she was finally home, where she belonged. She could feel the train slow beneath her as it came to a stop at the Nibelheim station. She closed her eyes and smiled, breathing in the first breath of her hometown for over a year. She stepped off the train, a new outlook on life, and walked towards her old home.
Her peaceful happiness was shattered when she saw the glares and menacing stares from her neighbors. She lowered her head, knowing that they had heard the news. They had found out what she was and what she had done for the past year. She had disgraced her family and her hometown. She only hoped that her father didn't know. He was the one person she had left on the planet, and she couldn't stand to lose him.
She ran inside her home, it was never locked, and threw her luggage down behind the door. She ran into the kitchen, but no one was there. She walked to the living room and leaned on the doorframe, but no one was there either. Strange, she thought, he must be upstairs. She ran up the staircase and paused to look at her old room. It had been untouched since she had left. The bed was still made and everything was in its place. She walked into her father's bedroom and gasped.
He was lying there, unable to move. She rushed over to him and kneeled beside him. His skin was ashen and his eyes were glossy. His head rolled to look at her and a faint smile formed on his lips, with a sparkle in his eye. Tifa kissed his forehead and took his hand in hers.
"I'm home, dad." She said, smiling and trying to hide the tears in her eyes. Her father looked up at her.
"I...wanted to see you again..." He managed to speak.
Tifa bowed her head. Her father was not well and he would not be with her much longer. It pained her to think about losing him. He meant so much to her, especially now, when she had lost everything. She couldn't bear losing him, not now, not when she was finally home.
"I know dad, don't worry, I'm here." She said, stroking his face softly. He looked so peaceful, now that she had returned.
She clasped his hand in hers as his smile faded. She could feel her heart sink as she saw his eyes close. His soul was slipping away from hers, and he could no longer hear her. She closed her eyes as tears began to flow. He was dead, and she was alone. She had come home to find herself, to be loved by someone, to have someone with her, and now...he was dead. She lowered her head onto his chest and sobbed for what seemed like an eternity. She had lost...everything. What do you do when you have nothing left to live for?
The entire town was gathered in the small cemetery to mourn the death of Tifa's father. She wore a simple, sleeveless, V-neck black dress that fell below her knees. She wore high heels and a large round black hat with a veil over her face. She knew that she was being stared at by the townspeople. They were giving her dirty looks, cursing her for being what she was.
She looked down at the ground, at the grass beneath her feet. Her hair was flowing all around her in the wind, letting her hide her pain behind it. Tears were sliding down her face as she listened to the words said about her father. First Cloud, and now this, it was getting too hard for her to live. But she couldn't end her life; she just needed to start over. She had thought Nibelheim would be the place to do that but she was wrong. She was not welcome there any longer, but she didn't know where else to go.
She watched as, one by one, the townspeople stepped up to her father's casket and wept. She watched as each of them left, having stayed silently by her side to pray for him. She alone remained after they had all gone. She dropped to her knees beside her father's tombstone, placing her face in her hands.
How could this have happened? She thought. How could she have messed up her life so much? She knew that she had made some bad choices in life, but everyone did, it was just a part of living, but why did hers end up ruining everything? Everything in her life was destroyed, and she needed to begin picking up the shards to put them back together again, but how? Where could she start? She had no other family and no friends...she was alone. For the first time it had hit her...she was completely and utterly alone. She felt abandoned and bitter. Bitter for having been dealt such a terrible card at life. Bitter that now, even her father had left her.
She stood up and wiped the tears from her face. She closed her eyes and looked up at the sky, saying a final farewell to her father. She placed a single red rose on top of his grave and turned to walk away, slowly. Her life was lying in pieces, right before her eyes, crumbling, right before her eyes.
She walked home, avoiding eye contact with her neighbors who had disowned her. She entered the now empty house and went straight to her old room. She sat down on the bed and hugged her old teddy bear. She clutched it to her chest and sobbed. How could life treat her this way?
Tifa woke up with an idea. She couldn't call it a smart one, but at least she had a new ambition. It had been several days since her father's funeral, and she had a new plan. Her father had been one of the wealthiest men in town, and she had inherited quite a large sum of money, nowhere near enough to get her life on track, but it was a good start.
She was going to Junon. She would set up her own bar there, and she would be the entertainment. She would not strip; she didn't feel that she needed to. Instead, she would dance and sing. It had been something she had always wanted to do; she just hoped that she would be able to make a living off of it.
Again she boarded a train, but this time, not to escape a shattered dream. No, this time she would make something of herself, and not look back. She smiled as she felt herself being pulled away from a nightmare, and looked ahead into the future. She felt like things might turn up for her after all.
But she couldn't stop thinking about him. Cloud had been on her mind since she had met him, and she couldn't let him go. Even if he didn't care about her...she would always remember him. She couldn't forget the way he made her feel, like she was a real person, not just an object. She had only spoken with him once, but that one time was enough to satisfy her for life.
Cloud hadn't slept for days. Thick dark circles had formed under his eyes from his lack of sleep. He sat up in bed, the room all around him was dark, just a thin stream of light peered in through the bottom of his window shade, casting the moon's glare down upon his floor.
He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to ease his suffering. He couldn't stop thinking about her and his guilt was driving him crazy. How could he have done that to her? How could he have lied to her, embarrassed her in front of the whole world, just to save himself? He had told himself over and over again that he had done that to save her, but was he really helping her? Was crushing her really the best thing for her? Even in the long run he couldn't see the benefits to her.
He felt dirty from all his guilt. He stepped out of bed, taking a moment to brush his hair out of his face. He stood up and yawned, stretching his hands over his head, then walked wearily into his own private bathroom. He had not slept, but he was so tired he felt like he could pass out, but still he knew that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Guilt was something a person couldn't hide, it could only fester inside of someone until they snapped.
He turned on the water and stepped in the shower, letting the cool liquid splash across his face. No matter how hard he tried, he could not feel clean. He couldn't count the number of times he had bathed in the past week; the number was far too great. He turned the water off and stepped out, grabbing a towel and drying himself off. When he finished he wrapped the towel around his waist and walked over to the mirror, looking into it accusingly.
"What have I done?" He asked himself, running his fingers through his messy hair.
He bowed his head and closed his eyes. The world had already turned a cheek towards what had happened, but he couldn't let it go. He wouldn't allow himself to accept the fact that he could not see her again. And even if he could...there was no way she would forgive him for what he had done.
He wanted to see her again, but he knew that was impossible. His father practically had him under lock and key, there was no way out. Just going out for a walk brought about dozens of questions. He was screwed. He hadn't wanted to admit it, but he had fucked up his life, but why did he have to take someone down with him?
Tifa didn't deserve that. He should never have lied to the media, never should have told him that she was nothing. She was definitely something alright; she had changed his life in a way he had never thought possible. They didn't have much of a conversation the night he had met her, but something about him had opened his eyes.
There was more to life than money and power. There were real people, beyond the confines of his safe suburban home. There were real people who had to work very hard to try and make a living, even if their job was something they despised. He couldn't stand to think of Tifa, working her life away at a job she hated, being gawked at by horny men who could care less if she had a brain in her skull.
He strolled out to his balcony, letting the crisp night breeze catch his hair. He leaned against the railing and looked out into the mountains. He looked up at the midnight sky, barely any stars could ever be seen from where he lived, too many lights and too much power being used. He imagined where Tifa was, trapped behind a bar after another performance. What would she do if she saw the stars again?
He thought about her for a long time. He thought about her long flowing hair, about her dark chocolate eyes, and her milky soft skin. He thought about how perfect she was, in every way. He thought about her smile, how she laughed, and how she looked when she was angry with him. He could never tell her now, but when she thought he was lying, and her face scrunched up, he wanted to laugh, not because of the way she looked, but how cute she was when she was mad.
He lowered his head and slumped his shoulders. He knew what he had to do. He needed to find her, to apologize to her. He needed to know if she could forgive him, if she would want to return to the upper plate to live with him. Maybe not live with him, but start a new life in upper Midgar. He wanted to help her get into college, into Midgar University, but mostly...he wanted to be with her.
He nodded his head and looked up. He had decided. He would leave tonight, while his father was asleep. He walked back into his bedroom and removed his towel, tossing it to the floor. He pulled on a pair of boxers, and some very dark denim shorts that reached beneath his knee. He put on a yellow T-shirt with some writing on it, and put on his favorite yellow sneakers. He put on his trademark sunglasses and backed his bags once again.
He didn't stop to look back this time, not until he was seated in the train. Looking back was a sign of uncertainty, and he had none. He was prepared to leave for good this time, and had not even left a note, only an empty room and an open balcony door. His spirit lifted as he heard the conductor call the train to a halt. He stepped out of the door and ran to catch up to a late worker, maybe the same one who had let him in lower Midgar the last time he was there, he couldn't be sure.
He checked his watch; it was nearly one in the morning. She should still be working and he needed to tell her how sorry he was, and hoped that she would forgive him. He needed to fill the void that had been left in his heart since he returned home. He couldn't explain the hold that this girl had on him, and she didn't even know it.
He took off his sunglasses as he ran down the street, towards the 'Wall Market'. He stopped in the place that he had stood when he had first seen her marquee. There was no line outside the door, and no lights on, only a dim bulb barely visible from the street. Cloud walked inside. All the windows were broken and old flyers and debris littered the ground out front. He walked up to the front door, which was boarded shut. He managed to force his way inside, knowing that what he was looking for would not be there.
The bar had been emptied, more garbage lined the floor inside, and there were a few chairs and tables left, fallen over and forgotten. He stepped slowly towards the light in the back of the room, where the dressing room had once been. The stage had an eerie feeling to it, like ghosts from a haunted house were there. He walked into the abandoned dressing room, no longer knowing what he was looking for. He knew that Tifa wasn't there, but he needed to know where she was.
He found a large man huddled in a corner behind a desk in an office. Cloud knocked on the already open door, and the man flinched. He looked at Cloud, holding his arms to his face as if he were about to be attacked. Cloud could tell that he had been crying from the red streams running down his cheeks. He got up, trying to control himself. He nodded to Cloud, knowing right away who he was and why he was there, call it an unspoken bond, but he had a severe disdain for the younger man.
"Hi." He managed to breathe out. Cloud could tell that the man hated him, and he knew that it was somehow his fault that his business was ruined.
"I know I don't have to ask but...what happened?" Cloud questioned, looking around the broken office. There were cracks along every wall, and the ceiling was leaking.
"What happened? You're asking me what happened? You! That's what happened!" The man became enraged, and threw the handkerchief he had been using to wipe his eyes with down onto the desk, stepping up to Cloud. He was much shorter than the younger blonde, but he weighed probably three times as much. Cloud took a step; he hadn't gone there to fight.
"What did I do?" He asked, defiantly. Dan laughed maniacally.
"What didn't you do!" He yelled. Cloud shook his head and sighed. He really didn't want to fight this man, but if he had to, he would defend himself. "You ruined me! You crushed my best dancer! You destroyed my business, my life!" Dan continued to roar.
Cloud closed his eyes and lowered his head. Now, not only had he broken Tifa's heart, but he had destroyed someone else's livelihood and only means of support. Not that he felt bad for Dan, he deserved it for trapping Tifa the way that he did. He looked back into the man's eyes.
"I'm sorry...where is she?" He said. Dan's anger softened, and his shoulders slumped.
"I don't know." He said, looking away. "She just...left, no one's seen her since..."
He couldn't hide his pain anymore. The weakened man leaned over his desk and began to weep again. Cloud curled the corner of his mouth in disgust. It was sickening to see a grown man cry like that, even if he felt the same way. Tifa had meant so much to that man, for financial reasons, but Cloud knew how much Tifa mean to him.
Cloud turned and walked out of the deserted building, leaving Dan alone in his misery, for he truly did deserve it. Cloud closed his eyes for a moment. He could go to her apartment, but he doubted that she would be there, but maybe her landlord knew where she was going. He quickly retraced his steps the night that he had met her and knocked on her front door. Nothing. He ran into the apartment complex to find the landlord. She was a little old woman, sitting in her rocking chair, who had left the door unlocked. Cloud walked in and looked down at her.
"I'm sorry to bother you but Tifa, she used to live here...and I was wondering if you knew where she was." Cloud could only hope that she did. The old woman looked up at him, her skin stretching to stay against her bony frame.
"No I don't know where she went, left in an awful hurry though." Cloud stepped back and rolled his head back. She was gone, and there was no way to find her. She could have gone anywhere, and he didn't know where she was from or where she had family. Come to think of it...he really didn't know that much about her. So why was she so important to him?
"Do you know where she moved from?" Cloud asked. Tifa had only lived there for a little over a year, so maybe, the woman knew where she was from.
"Nibelheim." The woman said, then looked down at her lap, to the knitting on her legs. She picked up her thread and began to knit again.
It was strange, Cloud thought, that such an old woman would be awake at such an hour. Maybe she too, was suffering. Maybe she had lost someone near to her, and she could no longer sleep because of it. Knitting was her way out, but what was Cloud's? Nibelheim, Tifa must have gone to Nibelheim. She had to have, it was her home, it was probably the only other place she knew.
Cloud rushed out of Midgar, back to the train station, but this time...he would not go home. He would go to Nibelheim. He would find Tifa, and apologize. He had never been to Nibelheim, but from what he heard it sounded like a quaint little village, a nice little family town. Maybe he would remain there, take his inheritance and build a house out there, away from his old life. And maybe...Tifa would join him.
Her bags were packed. She was really leaving this time. She was going...home. She was going back to Nibelheim, to be with her father. She didn't know what she would do when she got there, how she would make a living, but she knew that she was better off there than Midgar.
She was waiting for the train. Tears streamed down her face as she looked down the tracks, waiting for the locomotive to come and whisk her away. She wanted to leave this place. There were so many bad memories here. Memories of a job she never wanted...memories of Cloud.
Cloud, she sneered at his name. She meant nothing to him, but he meant everything to her. She didn't do anything with him, so how could she say that he used her? He hadn't done anything to her...except give her an extra thousand gil. She would use that money to get as far away from that town as possible. She wanted to go home. She hadn't even spoken to her father since she had become a stripper, too embarrassed to face him, to confront him. How could she tell him what she was? No father could accept his daughter after such a revelation. She only hoped that he hadn't read the papers or watched the news and saw her story.
She could see the train off in the distance. Smoke was billowing from the engine and she could hear the distinct cry of its whistle. It stopped in front of her, the wind disturbed by its presence, blowing against her skin and giving her goose bumps. She was wearing a pair of dark denim shorts that let the bottom of her ass show. She had on a white string tank top with pink lace along the bottom. Her hair was in its usual low ponytail, and she wore black knee-high lace-up boots. Despite her description, she did not look like a whore.
She stepped into the awaiting train and took a seat by the window, just as Cloud had done when he had left. She leaned her head against the window and watched as the city she had gone to with so much hope, so much promise, disappeared from her view. She had thought that her life would be so much better by moving there, but she was wrong. The only thing she was left with, as the train fled from the station, was regret.
She felt her eyes close as she fell into a fitful sleep. She had not seen the sky yet. It was still dark when she had fallen asleep and she knew that she had still been under the plate. She dreamed of him. He was...with her, at the bar. She wasn't dancing, she was working behind the bar, serving him a drink. They were both smiling and laughing. But then, he left...just got up and walked out the door, never to return.
She woke up startled. There was a tear running down her cheek. She shook her head, a bitterness inside of her that she had never felt before. He had lied to her, and she hated him for it. Or at least, she wanted to hate him. She knew that she could never despise him, but for now, anger seemed the easiest way to push him from her mind.
The train was over water. There was a bridge built between the continents so that trains could cross easily and cargo could get to its destination faster, without having to be loaded onto a boat and ferried. Tifa looked up at the sky. It was so bright and clear; she had forgotten what it was like. She squinted her eyes because of the sun's brightness. She smiled; she hadn't realized just how much she missed natural light.
She gazed up into it for hours, until she could see the faint outline of Nibelheim in the distance. She laughed to herself; she was finally home, where she belonged. She could feel the train slow beneath her as it came to a stop at the Nibelheim station. She closed her eyes and smiled, breathing in the first breath of her hometown for over a year. She stepped off the train, a new outlook on life, and walked towards her old home.
Her peaceful happiness was shattered when she saw the glares and menacing stares from her neighbors. She lowered her head, knowing that they had heard the news. They had found out what she was and what she had done for the past year. She had disgraced her family and her hometown. She only hoped that her father didn't know. He was the one person she had left on the planet, and she couldn't stand to lose him.
She ran inside her home, it was never locked, and threw her luggage down behind the door. She ran into the kitchen, but no one was there. She walked to the living room and leaned on the doorframe, but no one was there either. Strange, she thought, he must be upstairs. She ran up the staircase and paused to look at her old room. It had been untouched since she had left. The bed was still made and everything was in its place. She walked into her father's bedroom and gasped.
He was lying there, unable to move. She rushed over to him and kneeled beside him. His skin was ashen and his eyes were glossy. His head rolled to look at her and a faint smile formed on his lips, with a sparkle in his eye. Tifa kissed his forehead and took his hand in hers.
"I'm home, dad." She said, smiling and trying to hide the tears in her eyes. Her father looked up at her.
"I...wanted to see you again..." He managed to speak.
Tifa bowed her head. Her father was not well and he would not be with her much longer. It pained her to think about losing him. He meant so much to her, especially now, when she had lost everything. She couldn't bear losing him, not now, not when she was finally home.
"I know dad, don't worry, I'm here." She said, stroking his face softly. He looked so peaceful, now that she had returned.
She clasped his hand in hers as his smile faded. She could feel her heart sink as she saw his eyes close. His soul was slipping away from hers, and he could no longer hear her. She closed her eyes as tears began to flow. He was dead, and she was alone. She had come home to find herself, to be loved by someone, to have someone with her, and now...he was dead. She lowered her head onto his chest and sobbed for what seemed like an eternity. She had lost...everything. What do you do when you have nothing left to live for?
The entire town was gathered in the small cemetery to mourn the death of Tifa's father. She wore a simple, sleeveless, V-neck black dress that fell below her knees. She wore high heels and a large round black hat with a veil over her face. She knew that she was being stared at by the townspeople. They were giving her dirty looks, cursing her for being what she was.
She looked down at the ground, at the grass beneath her feet. Her hair was flowing all around her in the wind, letting her hide her pain behind it. Tears were sliding down her face as she listened to the words said about her father. First Cloud, and now this, it was getting too hard for her to live. But she couldn't end her life; she just needed to start over. She had thought Nibelheim would be the place to do that but she was wrong. She was not welcome there any longer, but she didn't know where else to go.
She watched as, one by one, the townspeople stepped up to her father's casket and wept. She watched as each of them left, having stayed silently by her side to pray for him. She alone remained after they had all gone. She dropped to her knees beside her father's tombstone, placing her face in her hands.
How could this have happened? She thought. How could she have messed up her life so much? She knew that she had made some bad choices in life, but everyone did, it was just a part of living, but why did hers end up ruining everything? Everything in her life was destroyed, and she needed to begin picking up the shards to put them back together again, but how? Where could she start? She had no other family and no friends...she was alone. For the first time it had hit her...she was completely and utterly alone. She felt abandoned and bitter. Bitter for having been dealt such a terrible card at life. Bitter that now, even her father had left her.
She stood up and wiped the tears from her face. She closed her eyes and looked up at the sky, saying a final farewell to her father. She placed a single red rose on top of his grave and turned to walk away, slowly. Her life was lying in pieces, right before her eyes, crumbling, right before her eyes.
She walked home, avoiding eye contact with her neighbors who had disowned her. She entered the now empty house and went straight to her old room. She sat down on the bed and hugged her old teddy bear. She clutched it to her chest and sobbed. How could life treat her this way?
Tifa woke up with an idea. She couldn't call it a smart one, but at least she had a new ambition. It had been several days since her father's funeral, and she had a new plan. Her father had been one of the wealthiest men in town, and she had inherited quite a large sum of money, nowhere near enough to get her life on track, but it was a good start.
She was going to Junon. She would set up her own bar there, and she would be the entertainment. She would not strip; she didn't feel that she needed to. Instead, she would dance and sing. It had been something she had always wanted to do; she just hoped that she would be able to make a living off of it.
Again she boarded a train, but this time, not to escape a shattered dream. No, this time she would make something of herself, and not look back. She smiled as she felt herself being pulled away from a nightmare, and looked ahead into the future. She felt like things might turn up for her after all.
But she couldn't stop thinking about him. Cloud had been on her mind since she had met him, and she couldn't let him go. Even if he didn't care about her...she would always remember him. She couldn't forget the way he made her feel, like she was a real person, not just an object. She had only spoken with him once, but that one time was enough to satisfy her for life.
Cloud hadn't slept for days. Thick dark circles had formed under his eyes from his lack of sleep. He sat up in bed, the room all around him was dark, just a thin stream of light peered in through the bottom of his window shade, casting the moon's glare down upon his floor.
He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to ease his suffering. He couldn't stop thinking about her and his guilt was driving him crazy. How could he have done that to her? How could he have lied to her, embarrassed her in front of the whole world, just to save himself? He had told himself over and over again that he had done that to save her, but was he really helping her? Was crushing her really the best thing for her? Even in the long run he couldn't see the benefits to her.
He felt dirty from all his guilt. He stepped out of bed, taking a moment to brush his hair out of his face. He stood up and yawned, stretching his hands over his head, then walked wearily into his own private bathroom. He had not slept, but he was so tired he felt like he could pass out, but still he knew that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Guilt was something a person couldn't hide, it could only fester inside of someone until they snapped.
He turned on the water and stepped in the shower, letting the cool liquid splash across his face. No matter how hard he tried, he could not feel clean. He couldn't count the number of times he had bathed in the past week; the number was far too great. He turned the water off and stepped out, grabbing a towel and drying himself off. When he finished he wrapped the towel around his waist and walked over to the mirror, looking into it accusingly.
"What have I done?" He asked himself, running his fingers through his messy hair.
He bowed his head and closed his eyes. The world had already turned a cheek towards what had happened, but he couldn't let it go. He wouldn't allow himself to accept the fact that he could not see her again. And even if he could...there was no way she would forgive him for what he had done.
He wanted to see her again, but he knew that was impossible. His father practically had him under lock and key, there was no way out. Just going out for a walk brought about dozens of questions. He was screwed. He hadn't wanted to admit it, but he had fucked up his life, but why did he have to take someone down with him?
Tifa didn't deserve that. He should never have lied to the media, never should have told him that she was nothing. She was definitely something alright; she had changed his life in a way he had never thought possible. They didn't have much of a conversation the night he had met her, but something about him had opened his eyes.
There was more to life than money and power. There were real people, beyond the confines of his safe suburban home. There were real people who had to work very hard to try and make a living, even if their job was something they despised. He couldn't stand to think of Tifa, working her life away at a job she hated, being gawked at by horny men who could care less if she had a brain in her skull.
He strolled out to his balcony, letting the crisp night breeze catch his hair. He leaned against the railing and looked out into the mountains. He looked up at the midnight sky, barely any stars could ever be seen from where he lived, too many lights and too much power being used. He imagined where Tifa was, trapped behind a bar after another performance. What would she do if she saw the stars again?
He thought about her for a long time. He thought about her long flowing hair, about her dark chocolate eyes, and her milky soft skin. He thought about how perfect she was, in every way. He thought about her smile, how she laughed, and how she looked when she was angry with him. He could never tell her now, but when she thought he was lying, and her face scrunched up, he wanted to laugh, not because of the way she looked, but how cute she was when she was mad.
He lowered his head and slumped his shoulders. He knew what he had to do. He needed to find her, to apologize to her. He needed to know if she could forgive him, if she would want to return to the upper plate to live with him. Maybe not live with him, but start a new life in upper Midgar. He wanted to help her get into college, into Midgar University, but mostly...he wanted to be with her.
He nodded his head and looked up. He had decided. He would leave tonight, while his father was asleep. He walked back into his bedroom and removed his towel, tossing it to the floor. He pulled on a pair of boxers, and some very dark denim shorts that reached beneath his knee. He put on a yellow T-shirt with some writing on it, and put on his favorite yellow sneakers. He put on his trademark sunglasses and backed his bags once again.
He didn't stop to look back this time, not until he was seated in the train. Looking back was a sign of uncertainty, and he had none. He was prepared to leave for good this time, and had not even left a note, only an empty room and an open balcony door. His spirit lifted as he heard the conductor call the train to a halt. He stepped out of the door and ran to catch up to a late worker, maybe the same one who had let him in lower Midgar the last time he was there, he couldn't be sure.
He checked his watch; it was nearly one in the morning. She should still be working and he needed to tell her how sorry he was, and hoped that she would forgive him. He needed to fill the void that had been left in his heart since he returned home. He couldn't explain the hold that this girl had on him, and she didn't even know it.
He took off his sunglasses as he ran down the street, towards the 'Wall Market'. He stopped in the place that he had stood when he had first seen her marquee. There was no line outside the door, and no lights on, only a dim bulb barely visible from the street. Cloud walked inside. All the windows were broken and old flyers and debris littered the ground out front. He walked up to the front door, which was boarded shut. He managed to force his way inside, knowing that what he was looking for would not be there.
The bar had been emptied, more garbage lined the floor inside, and there were a few chairs and tables left, fallen over and forgotten. He stepped slowly towards the light in the back of the room, where the dressing room had once been. The stage had an eerie feeling to it, like ghosts from a haunted house were there. He walked into the abandoned dressing room, no longer knowing what he was looking for. He knew that Tifa wasn't there, but he needed to know where she was.
He found a large man huddled in a corner behind a desk in an office. Cloud knocked on the already open door, and the man flinched. He looked at Cloud, holding his arms to his face as if he were about to be attacked. Cloud could tell that he had been crying from the red streams running down his cheeks. He got up, trying to control himself. He nodded to Cloud, knowing right away who he was and why he was there, call it an unspoken bond, but he had a severe disdain for the younger man.
"Hi." He managed to breathe out. Cloud could tell that the man hated him, and he knew that it was somehow his fault that his business was ruined.
"I know I don't have to ask but...what happened?" Cloud questioned, looking around the broken office. There were cracks along every wall, and the ceiling was leaking.
"What happened? You're asking me what happened? You! That's what happened!" The man became enraged, and threw the handkerchief he had been using to wipe his eyes with down onto the desk, stepping up to Cloud. He was much shorter than the younger blonde, but he weighed probably three times as much. Cloud took a step; he hadn't gone there to fight.
"What did I do?" He asked, defiantly. Dan laughed maniacally.
"What didn't you do!" He yelled. Cloud shook his head and sighed. He really didn't want to fight this man, but if he had to, he would defend himself. "You ruined me! You crushed my best dancer! You destroyed my business, my life!" Dan continued to roar.
Cloud closed his eyes and lowered his head. Now, not only had he broken Tifa's heart, but he had destroyed someone else's livelihood and only means of support. Not that he felt bad for Dan, he deserved it for trapping Tifa the way that he did. He looked back into the man's eyes.
"I'm sorry...where is she?" He said. Dan's anger softened, and his shoulders slumped.
"I don't know." He said, looking away. "She just...left, no one's seen her since..."
He couldn't hide his pain anymore. The weakened man leaned over his desk and began to weep again. Cloud curled the corner of his mouth in disgust. It was sickening to see a grown man cry like that, even if he felt the same way. Tifa had meant so much to that man, for financial reasons, but Cloud knew how much Tifa mean to him.
Cloud turned and walked out of the deserted building, leaving Dan alone in his misery, for he truly did deserve it. Cloud closed his eyes for a moment. He could go to her apartment, but he doubted that she would be there, but maybe her landlord knew where she was going. He quickly retraced his steps the night that he had met her and knocked on her front door. Nothing. He ran into the apartment complex to find the landlord. She was a little old woman, sitting in her rocking chair, who had left the door unlocked. Cloud walked in and looked down at her.
"I'm sorry to bother you but Tifa, she used to live here...and I was wondering if you knew where she was." Cloud could only hope that she did. The old woman looked up at him, her skin stretching to stay against her bony frame.
"No I don't know where she went, left in an awful hurry though." Cloud stepped back and rolled his head back. She was gone, and there was no way to find her. She could have gone anywhere, and he didn't know where she was from or where she had family. Come to think of it...he really didn't know that much about her. So why was she so important to him?
"Do you know where she moved from?" Cloud asked. Tifa had only lived there for a little over a year, so maybe, the woman knew where she was from.
"Nibelheim." The woman said, then looked down at her lap, to the knitting on her legs. She picked up her thread and began to knit again.
It was strange, Cloud thought, that such an old woman would be awake at such an hour. Maybe she too, was suffering. Maybe she had lost someone near to her, and she could no longer sleep because of it. Knitting was her way out, but what was Cloud's? Nibelheim, Tifa must have gone to Nibelheim. She had to have, it was her home, it was probably the only other place she knew.
Cloud rushed out of Midgar, back to the train station, but this time...he would not go home. He would go to Nibelheim. He would find Tifa, and apologize. He had never been to Nibelheim, but from what he heard it sounded like a quaint little village, a nice little family town. Maybe he would remain there, take his inheritance and build a house out there, away from his old life. And maybe...Tifa would join him.