The thunderous roar of the crowd delighted the lowliest hamburger to the thickest prostitute. The cries for the battle to begin were insatiable. Bruce Cambell himself was the boxing announcer, and prepared to call out the challenger to the heavyweight title.
"Ladies and Gentleman, we are gathered here today, to witness an absolute nonsensical fight were most likely feces will be thrown, vomit will be projectiled, and we will all think of nude Mary Jane,"
"Cut the crap Ash, bring on the fighters before i tan you hide!" shouted a obese Ronald Mcdonald.
"Uh..Ok, Well, our challenger for the world cup today is none other than the AMAAAAAAZING SPIDER-MAN!"
And with this, our scantily clad hero stumbled out onto the walkway, still in costume, with these cute little oven mitts for boxing gloves. Spider-Man crawled into the ring and vomited on the floor.
"aww...man, what did I eat? It smells like a moldy bear fetus..., oh wait...I remember now," Spider-man said scratching his head.
Meanwhile, back in the locker room, Richard Nixon was training with Spiro Agnew for a million seconds, his power level had doubled and he was ready for love.
Richard Nixon strutted down the walkway with style, his pimpin cane and his badass sugar-dandy hat, not to mention his tubular booger suit, it definately gave him the cosmetic advantage.
Spider-man saw Nixon and immediately craved Hawaiian Punch, but he knew he couldn't get any unless he beat Nixon, and that would prove to be a arduous task.
The national anthem was not said (Nixon hates America and Spider-Man is a citizen of Zimbabwe) and the battle began.
"I'm gonna kick your commie ass you one-eyed macintosh!" Cried Nixon.
Spider-Man gave Nixon the finger and brandished his buttocks wildly in the air. Upon sight of his buttocks, Nixon unsnikted his adamantium claws and ran at Spidey with a berserker rage. Using his webshooters, Spider-man quickly casted his web so it hooked firmly on the ceiling of the dome-thingy that they were fighting at, from there, Spider-man through barrels down to Nixon. Nixon began to run up to the top of the auditorium by running up magically suspended girders. Nixon grabbed his trusty hammer and began to smash the barrels, finally Nixon pulled out a shot gun and blew Spider-Mans head off. Spidey's corpse fell to the mat and then Michael Jackson came into the ring and ate his brain.
"I may be a smooth criminal, but i did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky," He commented as he walked out of the ring, presumably to go buy the new Sonic the Hedgehog toys at Mcdonalds.
-To be Continued-
"Ladies and Gentleman, we are gathered here today, to witness an absolute nonsensical fight were most likely feces will be thrown, vomit will be projectiled, and we will all think of nude Mary Jane,"
"Cut the crap Ash, bring on the fighters before i tan you hide!" shouted a obese Ronald Mcdonald.
"Uh..Ok, Well, our challenger for the world cup today is none other than the AMAAAAAAZING SPIDER-MAN!"
And with this, our scantily clad hero stumbled out onto the walkway, still in costume, with these cute little oven mitts for boxing gloves. Spider-Man crawled into the ring and vomited on the floor.
"aww...man, what did I eat? It smells like a moldy bear fetus..., oh wait...I remember now," Spider-man said scratching his head.
Meanwhile, back in the locker room, Richard Nixon was training with Spiro Agnew for a million seconds, his power level had doubled and he was ready for love.
Richard Nixon strutted down the walkway with style, his pimpin cane and his badass sugar-dandy hat, not to mention his tubular booger suit, it definately gave him the cosmetic advantage.
Spider-man saw Nixon and immediately craved Hawaiian Punch, but he knew he couldn't get any unless he beat Nixon, and that would prove to be a arduous task.
The national anthem was not said (Nixon hates America and Spider-Man is a citizen of Zimbabwe) and the battle began.
"I'm gonna kick your commie ass you one-eyed macintosh!" Cried Nixon.
Spider-Man gave Nixon the finger and brandished his buttocks wildly in the air. Upon sight of his buttocks, Nixon unsnikted his adamantium claws and ran at Spidey with a berserker rage. Using his webshooters, Spider-man quickly casted his web so it hooked firmly on the ceiling of the dome-thingy that they were fighting at, from there, Spider-man through barrels down to Nixon. Nixon began to run up to the top of the auditorium by running up magically suspended girders. Nixon grabbed his trusty hammer and began to smash the barrels, finally Nixon pulled out a shot gun and blew Spider-Mans head off. Spidey's corpse fell to the mat and then Michael Jackson came into the ring and ate his brain.
"I may be a smooth criminal, but i did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky," He commented as he walked out of the ring, presumably to go buy the new Sonic the Hedgehog toys at Mcdonalds.
-To be Continued-