Author's Note: Still going strong, figured I'd try and get another chapter up before I worked tomorrow. Tomorrow's show is Eric Clapton. Oh goody, but whatever, work is work and anything for a free concert right? I've been in a dancing mood lately, I want to sing and dance, and I'm thinking about creating a new page on AOL to link to for like...fan art I guess. It would probably be my own drawings...which will probably renditions since I can't draw, but enough to try and give examples of what I'm talking about. I don't know if it's a good idea, but I'll see how it goes. I'll probably post a picture of myself at the top, just so you know who's writing. I bet you all would NEVER guess what I looked like. Teehee, I don't look like the type of person who would write fan fiction, or play video games for that matter. Oh well, here's another fixing of Barfly! P.S. Please note, any songs that Tifa sings are NOT my original work unless otherwise noted.
Junon was so big compared to Nibelheim. Tifa had never been there before, but she had found an ad in a newspaper for a business property for sale. She held the advertisement tightly in her hand as she stepped off the train, looking up at the large cannon positioned on the side of the cliff that the city was built into.
She was dressed in her most professional looking outfit. To say the least, it did not make her appear very reputable, but after being a stripper for so long, she was accustomed to wearing clothes that accented her body, rather than trying to look decent. She wore a yellow halter-top that showed off her midriff in the front but was long in the back and reached down to her knees. It had white frill along the edges and a short purple tie around her neck. She had on a thick purple head band with long pieces of her hair braided and looped into it, with the majority of her thick locks hanging behind her in a ponytail, caressing her back. She had yellow gloves that stretched over her elbows with purple feathers at the hem and matching yellow leather knee-high boots. Her miniskirt was short and pleaded, with a white three-ring belt hanging loosely about her hips. (A/N: Rikku's songstress dress sphere).
She looked around at all the people on the streets. They were looking at her funny, and she hoped it was because of her outfit and not because of her story in the newspaper. She wanted to open up her own bar now, but she didn't want to get business from people who knew her for her 'tryst' with the world's most eligible bachelor. She wanted to be known for her talent, not her past. She knew her talents as a stripper would be apparent, but she hoped that people would not expect her to strip for them when she performed.
She walked down the street, looking for the address she had been given. She had spoken to the seller on the phone, and he seemed eager to meet her. She knew that it was because of her newfound celebrity status and she knew that would help her get the building, but after that she would want to get things her own way, all by herself. She was bitter at the reputation she had gotten and how she wouldn't have to work to get anything anymore, so long as she was willing to be a whore.
But she wasn't like that. She wouldn't allow herself to benefit in any way from the heartbreak she felt, she just couldn't. It hurt her too much to think about it. She still secretly wished that Cloud had not been serious with what he had said to the press, but deep down inside she knew that he was. He was too good for her; a rich attractive heir and a lowly stripper just don't make the right couple. No, Cloud would marry some gorgeous heir whose father owned an entire company. Tifa envisioned his wedding, how extravagant it would be, and it brought a tear to her eye.
She couldn't let him go. He had offered to walk her home, and he had not taken advantage of her. He had given her a large tip; just for talking to him...he was so different than she had imagined him to be. He definitely looked the part of the world's sexiest man, but she had expected him to be arrogant and conceited. She had never seen his face before, she had always turned the T.V. off whenever he was about to be interviewed or anything, she just never felt the need to know who he was. She supposed that it would have done her good to know his face, then she could have stayed away from him the night he had come to the club.
She thought he was so different but...she was wrong. He was just like any other rich attractive man, they would look for a one-night stand and pretend to be some wonderfully generous and caring person, but after their desire was fulfilled, they would show their true colors. But what was Cloud's desire? He hadn't done anything with her, so why did he put on an act?
She stopped in front of an abandoned building to check the address. It matched the one she held in her hand, and she entered the dilapidated corner store. The sun was out in Junon and she felt a little safer living in a place like that, instead of the dark and dismal Midgar. There was an older gentleman sitting at a table in the middle of the room with a manila folder lying on the table in front of him. Tifa smiled and cautiously approached the man. He stood up and shook her hand, smiling in return.
"You must be Tifa, am I right?" He asked, the sun hitting his thick glasses and casting a glare in Tifa's eyes. She nodded her head.
"Yes. Mr. Bettancourt?" She asked, as he motioned for her to take a seat across from him at the table.
"Correct you are." He said, then placed his hands on the table and sighed heavily, with a smile. "So, you want to start your own business, right?" Tifa nodded. "What kind of business is it, if you don't mind me asking." He asked coyly, eyeing her breasts.
Tifa was a little put off by the man. He seemed very sweet, but his inability to keep his eyes focused worried her. She shifted uneasily in her chair and looked him in the eyes, clearing her voice to draw attention back up to her face.
"I want to open up my own bar." She said, not wanting to give him any ideas by mentioning her entertainment idea.
"I see, I see. So you would need help?" He asked, taking out the paperwork that was inside his folder.
"Yes, I would probably need to hire one or two more people." She added, and then noticed the staircase in the back of the room. "Is there...a house above this?" She asked. The man nodded.
"Yes, it is included in the price. Think about it, you could walk downstairs and be at work!" He said, leaning back in his chair and grinning.
Tifa looked at the contract sitting before her. It would take almost all of her savings to buy this place. She closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair, hoping for an answer, some sort of sign to tell her what to do. Having her home right above the bar would be convenient, but then also everyone would know where she lived. She bit her lower lip and looked down at her lap. It was...perfect, she just needed to fix up the downstairs and she would be all set to go.
"May I see the upstairs rooms?" She asked. He agreed and led her upstairs.
Tifa could not believe her eyes when she saw the upstairs suite. It was lavishly decorated and already had all the needed furniture and appliances. She had never seen a bedroom so huge in her life, and she threw herself down on the bed, gripping the sheets between her fingers and sniffing the lavender scented pillow. The place had been cleaned up before she had arrived, she could tell. The thick scent of aerosol spray still hung in the air as she wandered through the rooms.
There was a living room, with a white leather sofa and a glass coffee table. There was also a matching overstuffed chair adjacent to the sofa. She entered the kitchen and gasped. The cabinets were a light maple color and there were several windows, giving the place an airy atmosphere. There was a small round kitchen table with matching chairs and all her appliances were silver. She held her hand to her heart as she walked into the bathroom. There was rose-colored wallpaper and deep burgundy colored tiles. There was a separate roman bathtub from the shower, and a pillar sink.
She closed her eyes and imagined herself living there. She imagined lying in the bathtub with candles all around her, and soft romantic music playing as she soaked. She could feel the warm water rest against her skin and she sighed heavily. Never in her life had she seen such a beautiful apartment, and she instantly knew that she wanted it.
"Alright, let's sign those papers." She said, smiling.
Nibelheim was quainter than Cloud had ever imagined. It was a small city, but nonetheless beautiful. It seemed like it would be a quiet town, judging from the way people seemed to ignore him, just as he had always wanted. Of course, there were a few women that did recognize him, and rushed up to him, groping him, begging to be his tryst for the night. He frowned at them, and continued walking. He was not like that...at least, not anymore, not since he had met Tifa.
He knew that the girls were following him, but he didn't care. He could ignore them easily, he was used to that sort of thing. He entered the local bar and sat down at the counter, looking through the window as the underage teens peered in at him. He shook his head and looked at the bartender.
"What'll it be?" The gruff old man asked. Cloud shrugged and looked back out the window, then back at the man behind the bar.
"Nothing to drink but, could you tell me where I might find a Miss Tifa Lockheart, would you?" Cloud asked. The bartender laughed under his breath and smirked. Cloud was filled with a little hope, but something in the way the bartender had reacted to her name made him think that he was not too fond of Tifa.
"That little tramp? What on earth would a respectable man like yourself want with that little disgrace?" He asked, anger in his tone.
Cloud was puzzled. He couldn't imagine anyone not liking Tifa; she was so sweet to him. But maybe that was just an act, like his father had said. Maybe she was cruel and heartless, just like all the other girls he knew. But what had Tifa done to this man?
"Never mind that, do you know where I can find her?" Cloud asked, looking at the small crowd of girls that had gathered outside the bar. The bartender noticed as well.
"You seem to be pretty popular with the young ladies in this town, what's your name?" He asked. Cloud didn't know what to say. Should he reveal his true identity? He didn't think it really mattered, since the girls outside obviously knew who he was.
"Cloud Strife." He said, noticing the bartender's quick reaction. The man sneered and took a step back.
"Oh, you're that little pecker who owns the college. You here to buy off this town too?" The man was clearly peeved. Cloud wasn't sure how to respond.
"Uh...yeah...I guess that's me. Tell me, why don't you like Tifa?" He asked. The man tilted his head back and sighed heavily.
"She was a great kid when she left us. She had so much promise and hope..." His eyes looked solemn and Cloud could see the faint shimmer of a tear in his eye. "Then we found out she was a stripper, she had disgraced the town, she had betrayed us." He said, his eyes turning cold and menacing.
"But she didn't want to be a stripper." Cloud said defensively, as if it had been him who had just been attacked. The bartender threw his head back and laughed.
"Kid, if she didn't want to be a stripper she wouldn't have stayed there for over a year. You're just as air headed as I thought you'd be." Cloud growled to himself. What was this guy's problem?
"Look, can you just tell me where she is." He snarled, glaring at the window. The girls outside sighed longingly and he could hear them yelling his name.
"She left a couple days ago, right after the funeral." The bartender said, picking up a glass and wiping out the inside.
"Funeral?" Cloud asked, surprised.
"She came back and her father died, she left after his funeral with her inheritance. What a little wench." He sneered. Cloud held his lips together tightly so as not to get angry. He wanted to strike the man for what he was saying, but he knew that he shouldn't. He lifted his eyebrows and slowly got up to leave.
"Thanks anyway." He said, walking out the door and being paraded by the lust driven girls.
He forced his way through them and headed back for the train station. He would have to return home, he had no other choice. He couldn't keep looking for her if he didn't have a clue where she would be. He lowered his head and watched the ground beneath his feet move as he walked to the station. Where could she have gone? He ran his hand down his face and sighed, not knowing what to do. If he went home he was sure to get a swift kick in the ass by his father, but he had nowhere else to go. He was stuck.
Tifa was flat broke, for the first time in her life; she hadn't a dollar to her name. She had never felt more vulnerable in all her life. She had used the money left over in her saving account to restore the bar and build a stage for her. She had named it Tifa's Seventh Heaven, once again retreating to using her name to try and draw business.
Tonight was her opening night, and she waited patiently for customers. She had trained a young girl from Wutai, Yuffie, who was going to college in Junon, to bartend so that she could entertain. Yuffie was too young to work behind a bar, but Tifa felt that she would do a good job, since she was so desperate for money, the young girl would take anything.
Tifa stood backstage, in her own private dressing room. She was nervous about her first performance not stripping and she hoped that people would enjoy her. She wore a black halter top with a neckline that reached below her belly button. There were no sides to it, except for one thick strap to hold it on her. She had on long purple gloves that reached up to her upper arm. She had a blue scarf around her neck and a green feather in her hair. She wore a long purple skirt that covered just her front and back with no sides, until her knees, where it became a normal skirt. She had on black boots that reached to her upper thighs. (A/N: Paine's 'Lady Luck' dress sphere)
She walked out into the main room and noticed a few patrons. They immediately saw her and their eyes widened. She knew that she had been recognized, but at least it would bring in more money. This wasn't how things were supposed to go...this wasn't how she was supposed to make her living but...she had no choice. Again, she felt trapped in her own world.
The patrons grabbed their cell phones and made a few phone calls. Within a half an hour the entire bar was filled with people eager to see the girl they had read about in the papers. Tifa knew her profits for the night would be enormous but...the money was tainted. She sighed as she stepped on stage, listening to the catcalls and cheers from the audience.
She walked up to the microphone and took it from its stand. She didn't know what to say to these people, other than she was grateful for their support. She thought about closing down the stage, and just tending bar, now that people knew she existed, maybe she wouldn't perform. She feared that the obviously horny crowd would begin to hound her to strip and she was afraid that she wouldn't resist...just for the money.
She couldn't believe her own thoughts. Was she actually thinking about going back to stripping? Had everything she ever believed in, all her morals and values, just been lost in Midgar? She had always wanted to leave stripping, but now...she was about to do it again. She closed her eyes and silently cursed herself for ever bringing the matter to her own attention. She stepped up to the edge of the stage and began to speak, not knowing what to say.
"Welcome everyone and I thank you for attending my opening night." The words seemed to drip off her tongue as if she had rehearsed them. "My name's Tifa Lockheart and I will be performing a song for you tonight. I hope you enjoy it." She looked out across the crowd, at the eager faces, waiting for her to do something, anything. She closed her eyes and thought about what to sing. There was a song she had written on the train from Nibelheim. It was kind of about her night with Cloud, how she had been on stage and he was in the audience, and how she missed him.
Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real? Or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar
My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Oh did you ever know
That I had mine on you?
Darling so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you?
Who pinches you softly, but sure?
If frown is shown then, I will know
That you are no dreamer
So let me come to you
Close as I want to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart, beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
Oh did you ever know
That I had mine on you?
Darling so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know?
I'm more than the dress and the voice?
If frown is shown then, I will know
That you are not dreaming
Darling so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you?
Who pinches you softly, but sure?
If frown is shown then, I will know
That you are no dreamer
A tear slid down her cheek as she finished, hanging the microphone back up on its stand. The audience clapped nervously, unsure that she was finished. She bowed and they all looked at each other, waiting for more. She looked into their faces and saw the longing in their eyes. She knew what they wanted before they even started speaking.
"Strip!" Some started chanting.
"Take it off!" A few others were calling.
Tifa looked out at them, a horrified expression on her face. Her mouth was agape and she could feel tears in her eyes. Was this what she had become? Was this all she could ever hope to be in life? She looked around at the individual faces, seeing the want and lust in their eyes. She couldn't stand it anymore. She didn't want to be treated this way anymore. She brought a hand up to cover her face and she turned and ran up the stairs.
She was sobbing openly, leaving a trail of tears behind her as she ran up to her bedroom and slammed the door. She threw herself down on her bed and grasped the pillow, wailing into it all of her anger and resentment. She had done this to herself, there was no one else to blame but herself but god, it hurt so much. To think that she could never be anything more than...a stripper.
"Teefy?" She could hear Yuffie's childish voice outside her bedroom door hours later. "Teefy, are you alright?" She asked, knocking softly on the door.
Tifa stirred, but did not respond. She had nearly cried herself to sleep and was stretched out on the bed. She rolled her head to look up at the ceiling, her tears dried along her cheeks. She moaned softly, just to reassure herself that she was, unfortunately, still alive. She could hear the creek of her door open as Yuffie cautiously entered and walked over to the bed.
"Everyone's gone, Tifa. They were wondering about you." Yuffie whispered.
Tifa opened her eyes wearily, trying to focus on Yuffie's face. She moaned again and shifter her body lazily, as if she were passed out drunk. Yuffie brushed the few strands of hair that had fallen in front of Tifa's face back behind her ear. She kneeled down at the edge of the bed and looked at Tifa, an apologetic look on her face.
"I'm sorry." She said. "For what happened tonight...I know that's not what you wanted."
How could she understand? She was going to school and living on her own, but did she know what it felt like to have dreams that could never be obtained? She had a future for herself, but Tifa didn't. She was, and always would be, a stripper, no matter how hard she tried to dismiss the reputation; she was doomed by her fate.
"But you know what? Tomorrow's a new day, and now that they know what to expect, maybe they'll calm down, ya know?" Yuffie said cheerfully. Tifa moaned in response. Yuffie nodded her head a few times, then stood up to leave.
"Thank you." Tifa said quietly as the young girl walked out the door.
Returning home was the hardest thing he had ever had to do in his life. Facing his father after running away, it frightened him so much. He had expected a fight, but instead his father completely ignored him, turning his back on his own son coldly. Cloud had understood the source of his anger. Cloud had screwed up, and he knew that, both his life and almost the life of the college, if inanimate buildings could have lives.
He realized that this was it, this was the end. He couldn't find Tifa and he couldn't apologize, that there was no hope for them to ever be together. She had...disappeared, walked into the oblivion of people that inhabited the Earth, never to be seen or heard from again.
He lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He ran his fingers through his hair and thought of what to do with his life. He would have to go on living without her, never seeing her again or ever speaking to her. Maybe it was for the best, she didn't know what it was like to always be in the newspapers or on T.V. Maybe it was best that she didn't get involved with the Strife family.
He would never forget her, not ever. He couldn't, she was too much a part of him and he realized the error of his guilty ways. He would never take advantage of a single woman ever again; he would never again have a one-night stand. He knew he would never find another girl as interesting as Tifa so long as he lived, but at least he would have a standard to go by.
He felt himself drift off to sleep. She had been in his dreams every night since he had met her, even before he had met her since she was, he recalled, the 'girl of his dreams'. He always had wonderful dreams with her, which he knew from experience that that was a beacon of doom. Every time he had a good dream about someone, something bad happened between them. He woke up every morning with a sense of happiness, the kind a person gets after a good dream, but he knew that things would go horribly.
Tonight was different, however. Tonight his dream started out perfectly, he and Tifa were at the beach, watching the sunset together. Her hair was blowing fiercely in the wind and he laughed as she tried to keep it out of her face. He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arm around her, holding her close, never wanting to let her go. He looked out across the ocean at Costa Del Sol and smiled, watching as the waves lapped against their feet. He turned to look at Tifa, but was horrified to find her limp in his arms. He tried to shake her to get her to regain consciousness but it wouldn't work. He could feel the tears in his eyes as he clutched her lifeless body to his chest, begging for it not to be true.
He woke up in a sweat, his heart racing from his nightmare. He clutched his chest to try and steady his breathing. He looked around his room, she was not there. She was not dead, as far as he knew. He lowered his head and closed his eyes, knowing that she had not been with him. He had never gotten to show her Costa Del Sol, or watch the sunset with her, or do any of the things he had ever wanted to do with her. He had screwed up, and she would be there no more.
Junon was so big compared to Nibelheim. Tifa had never been there before, but she had found an ad in a newspaper for a business property for sale. She held the advertisement tightly in her hand as she stepped off the train, looking up at the large cannon positioned on the side of the cliff that the city was built into.
She was dressed in her most professional looking outfit. To say the least, it did not make her appear very reputable, but after being a stripper for so long, she was accustomed to wearing clothes that accented her body, rather than trying to look decent. She wore a yellow halter-top that showed off her midriff in the front but was long in the back and reached down to her knees. It had white frill along the edges and a short purple tie around her neck. She had on a thick purple head band with long pieces of her hair braided and looped into it, with the majority of her thick locks hanging behind her in a ponytail, caressing her back. She had yellow gloves that stretched over her elbows with purple feathers at the hem and matching yellow leather knee-high boots. Her miniskirt was short and pleaded, with a white three-ring belt hanging loosely about her hips. (A/N: Rikku's songstress dress sphere).
She looked around at all the people on the streets. They were looking at her funny, and she hoped it was because of her outfit and not because of her story in the newspaper. She wanted to open up her own bar now, but she didn't want to get business from people who knew her for her 'tryst' with the world's most eligible bachelor. She wanted to be known for her talent, not her past. She knew her talents as a stripper would be apparent, but she hoped that people would not expect her to strip for them when she performed.
She walked down the street, looking for the address she had been given. She had spoken to the seller on the phone, and he seemed eager to meet her. She knew that it was because of her newfound celebrity status and she knew that would help her get the building, but after that she would want to get things her own way, all by herself. She was bitter at the reputation she had gotten and how she wouldn't have to work to get anything anymore, so long as she was willing to be a whore.
But she wasn't like that. She wouldn't allow herself to benefit in any way from the heartbreak she felt, she just couldn't. It hurt her too much to think about it. She still secretly wished that Cloud had not been serious with what he had said to the press, but deep down inside she knew that he was. He was too good for her; a rich attractive heir and a lowly stripper just don't make the right couple. No, Cloud would marry some gorgeous heir whose father owned an entire company. Tifa envisioned his wedding, how extravagant it would be, and it brought a tear to her eye.
She couldn't let him go. He had offered to walk her home, and he had not taken advantage of her. He had given her a large tip; just for talking to him...he was so different than she had imagined him to be. He definitely looked the part of the world's sexiest man, but she had expected him to be arrogant and conceited. She had never seen his face before, she had always turned the T.V. off whenever he was about to be interviewed or anything, she just never felt the need to know who he was. She supposed that it would have done her good to know his face, then she could have stayed away from him the night he had come to the club.
She thought he was so different but...she was wrong. He was just like any other rich attractive man, they would look for a one-night stand and pretend to be some wonderfully generous and caring person, but after their desire was fulfilled, they would show their true colors. But what was Cloud's desire? He hadn't done anything with her, so why did he put on an act?
She stopped in front of an abandoned building to check the address. It matched the one she held in her hand, and she entered the dilapidated corner store. The sun was out in Junon and she felt a little safer living in a place like that, instead of the dark and dismal Midgar. There was an older gentleman sitting at a table in the middle of the room with a manila folder lying on the table in front of him. Tifa smiled and cautiously approached the man. He stood up and shook her hand, smiling in return.
"You must be Tifa, am I right?" He asked, the sun hitting his thick glasses and casting a glare in Tifa's eyes. She nodded her head.
"Yes. Mr. Bettancourt?" She asked, as he motioned for her to take a seat across from him at the table.
"Correct you are." He said, then placed his hands on the table and sighed heavily, with a smile. "So, you want to start your own business, right?" Tifa nodded. "What kind of business is it, if you don't mind me asking." He asked coyly, eyeing her breasts.
Tifa was a little put off by the man. He seemed very sweet, but his inability to keep his eyes focused worried her. She shifted uneasily in her chair and looked him in the eyes, clearing her voice to draw attention back up to her face.
"I want to open up my own bar." She said, not wanting to give him any ideas by mentioning her entertainment idea.
"I see, I see. So you would need help?" He asked, taking out the paperwork that was inside his folder.
"Yes, I would probably need to hire one or two more people." She added, and then noticed the staircase in the back of the room. "Is there...a house above this?" She asked. The man nodded.
"Yes, it is included in the price. Think about it, you could walk downstairs and be at work!" He said, leaning back in his chair and grinning.
Tifa looked at the contract sitting before her. It would take almost all of her savings to buy this place. She closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair, hoping for an answer, some sort of sign to tell her what to do. Having her home right above the bar would be convenient, but then also everyone would know where she lived. She bit her lower lip and looked down at her lap. It was...perfect, she just needed to fix up the downstairs and she would be all set to go.
"May I see the upstairs rooms?" She asked. He agreed and led her upstairs.
Tifa could not believe her eyes when she saw the upstairs suite. It was lavishly decorated and already had all the needed furniture and appliances. She had never seen a bedroom so huge in her life, and she threw herself down on the bed, gripping the sheets between her fingers and sniffing the lavender scented pillow. The place had been cleaned up before she had arrived, she could tell. The thick scent of aerosol spray still hung in the air as she wandered through the rooms.
There was a living room, with a white leather sofa and a glass coffee table. There was also a matching overstuffed chair adjacent to the sofa. She entered the kitchen and gasped. The cabinets were a light maple color and there were several windows, giving the place an airy atmosphere. There was a small round kitchen table with matching chairs and all her appliances were silver. She held her hand to her heart as she walked into the bathroom. There was rose-colored wallpaper and deep burgundy colored tiles. There was a separate roman bathtub from the shower, and a pillar sink.
She closed her eyes and imagined herself living there. She imagined lying in the bathtub with candles all around her, and soft romantic music playing as she soaked. She could feel the warm water rest against her skin and she sighed heavily. Never in her life had she seen such a beautiful apartment, and she instantly knew that she wanted it.
"Alright, let's sign those papers." She said, smiling.
Nibelheim was quainter than Cloud had ever imagined. It was a small city, but nonetheless beautiful. It seemed like it would be a quiet town, judging from the way people seemed to ignore him, just as he had always wanted. Of course, there were a few women that did recognize him, and rushed up to him, groping him, begging to be his tryst for the night. He frowned at them, and continued walking. He was not like that...at least, not anymore, not since he had met Tifa.
He knew that the girls were following him, but he didn't care. He could ignore them easily, he was used to that sort of thing. He entered the local bar and sat down at the counter, looking through the window as the underage teens peered in at him. He shook his head and looked at the bartender.
"What'll it be?" The gruff old man asked. Cloud shrugged and looked back out the window, then back at the man behind the bar.
"Nothing to drink but, could you tell me where I might find a Miss Tifa Lockheart, would you?" Cloud asked. The bartender laughed under his breath and smirked. Cloud was filled with a little hope, but something in the way the bartender had reacted to her name made him think that he was not too fond of Tifa.
"That little tramp? What on earth would a respectable man like yourself want with that little disgrace?" He asked, anger in his tone.
Cloud was puzzled. He couldn't imagine anyone not liking Tifa; she was so sweet to him. But maybe that was just an act, like his father had said. Maybe she was cruel and heartless, just like all the other girls he knew. But what had Tifa done to this man?
"Never mind that, do you know where I can find her?" Cloud asked, looking at the small crowd of girls that had gathered outside the bar. The bartender noticed as well.
"You seem to be pretty popular with the young ladies in this town, what's your name?" He asked. Cloud didn't know what to say. Should he reveal his true identity? He didn't think it really mattered, since the girls outside obviously knew who he was.
"Cloud Strife." He said, noticing the bartender's quick reaction. The man sneered and took a step back.
"Oh, you're that little pecker who owns the college. You here to buy off this town too?" The man was clearly peeved. Cloud wasn't sure how to respond.
"Uh...yeah...I guess that's me. Tell me, why don't you like Tifa?" He asked. The man tilted his head back and sighed heavily.
"She was a great kid when she left us. She had so much promise and hope..." His eyes looked solemn and Cloud could see the faint shimmer of a tear in his eye. "Then we found out she was a stripper, she had disgraced the town, she had betrayed us." He said, his eyes turning cold and menacing.
"But she didn't want to be a stripper." Cloud said defensively, as if it had been him who had just been attacked. The bartender threw his head back and laughed.
"Kid, if she didn't want to be a stripper she wouldn't have stayed there for over a year. You're just as air headed as I thought you'd be." Cloud growled to himself. What was this guy's problem?
"Look, can you just tell me where she is." He snarled, glaring at the window. The girls outside sighed longingly and he could hear them yelling his name.
"She left a couple days ago, right after the funeral." The bartender said, picking up a glass and wiping out the inside.
"Funeral?" Cloud asked, surprised.
"She came back and her father died, she left after his funeral with her inheritance. What a little wench." He sneered. Cloud held his lips together tightly so as not to get angry. He wanted to strike the man for what he was saying, but he knew that he shouldn't. He lifted his eyebrows and slowly got up to leave.
"Thanks anyway." He said, walking out the door and being paraded by the lust driven girls.
He forced his way through them and headed back for the train station. He would have to return home, he had no other choice. He couldn't keep looking for her if he didn't have a clue where she would be. He lowered his head and watched the ground beneath his feet move as he walked to the station. Where could she have gone? He ran his hand down his face and sighed, not knowing what to do. If he went home he was sure to get a swift kick in the ass by his father, but he had nowhere else to go. He was stuck.
Tifa was flat broke, for the first time in her life; she hadn't a dollar to her name. She had never felt more vulnerable in all her life. She had used the money left over in her saving account to restore the bar and build a stage for her. She had named it Tifa's Seventh Heaven, once again retreating to using her name to try and draw business.
Tonight was her opening night, and she waited patiently for customers. She had trained a young girl from Wutai, Yuffie, who was going to college in Junon, to bartend so that she could entertain. Yuffie was too young to work behind a bar, but Tifa felt that she would do a good job, since she was so desperate for money, the young girl would take anything.
Tifa stood backstage, in her own private dressing room. She was nervous about her first performance not stripping and she hoped that people would enjoy her. She wore a black halter top with a neckline that reached below her belly button. There were no sides to it, except for one thick strap to hold it on her. She had on long purple gloves that reached up to her upper arm. She had a blue scarf around her neck and a green feather in her hair. She wore a long purple skirt that covered just her front and back with no sides, until her knees, where it became a normal skirt. She had on black boots that reached to her upper thighs. (A/N: Paine's 'Lady Luck' dress sphere)
She walked out into the main room and noticed a few patrons. They immediately saw her and their eyes widened. She knew that she had been recognized, but at least it would bring in more money. This wasn't how things were supposed to go...this wasn't how she was supposed to make her living but...she had no choice. Again, she felt trapped in her own world.
The patrons grabbed their cell phones and made a few phone calls. Within a half an hour the entire bar was filled with people eager to see the girl they had read about in the papers. Tifa knew her profits for the night would be enormous but...the money was tainted. She sighed as she stepped on stage, listening to the catcalls and cheers from the audience.
She walked up to the microphone and took it from its stand. She didn't know what to say to these people, other than she was grateful for their support. She thought about closing down the stage, and just tending bar, now that people knew she existed, maybe she wouldn't perform. She feared that the obviously horny crowd would begin to hound her to strip and she was afraid that she wouldn't resist...just for the money.
She couldn't believe her own thoughts. Was she actually thinking about going back to stripping? Had everything she ever believed in, all her morals and values, just been lost in Midgar? She had always wanted to leave stripping, but now...she was about to do it again. She closed her eyes and silently cursed herself for ever bringing the matter to her own attention. She stepped up to the edge of the stage and began to speak, not knowing what to say.
"Welcome everyone and I thank you for attending my opening night." The words seemed to drip off her tongue as if she had rehearsed them. "My name's Tifa Lockheart and I will be performing a song for you tonight. I hope you enjoy it." She looked out across the crowd, at the eager faces, waiting for her to do something, anything. She closed her eyes and thought about what to sing. There was a song she had written on the train from Nibelheim. It was kind of about her night with Cloud, how she had been on stage and he was in the audience, and how she missed him.
Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real? Or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar
My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Oh did you ever know
That I had mine on you?
Darling so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you?
Who pinches you softly, but sure?
If frown is shown then, I will know
That you are no dreamer
So let me come to you
Close as I want to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart, beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
Oh did you ever know
That I had mine on you?
Darling so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know?
I'm more than the dress and the voice?
If frown is shown then, I will know
That you are not dreaming
Darling so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you?
Who pinches you softly, but sure?
If frown is shown then, I will know
That you are no dreamer
A tear slid down her cheek as she finished, hanging the microphone back up on its stand. The audience clapped nervously, unsure that she was finished. She bowed and they all looked at each other, waiting for more. She looked into their faces and saw the longing in their eyes. She knew what they wanted before they even started speaking.
"Strip!" Some started chanting.
"Take it off!" A few others were calling.
Tifa looked out at them, a horrified expression on her face. Her mouth was agape and she could feel tears in her eyes. Was this what she had become? Was this all she could ever hope to be in life? She looked around at the individual faces, seeing the want and lust in their eyes. She couldn't stand it anymore. She didn't want to be treated this way anymore. She brought a hand up to cover her face and she turned and ran up the stairs.
She was sobbing openly, leaving a trail of tears behind her as she ran up to her bedroom and slammed the door. She threw herself down on her bed and grasped the pillow, wailing into it all of her anger and resentment. She had done this to herself, there was no one else to blame but herself but god, it hurt so much. To think that she could never be anything more than...a stripper.
"Teefy?" She could hear Yuffie's childish voice outside her bedroom door hours later. "Teefy, are you alright?" She asked, knocking softly on the door.
Tifa stirred, but did not respond. She had nearly cried herself to sleep and was stretched out on the bed. She rolled her head to look up at the ceiling, her tears dried along her cheeks. She moaned softly, just to reassure herself that she was, unfortunately, still alive. She could hear the creek of her door open as Yuffie cautiously entered and walked over to the bed.
"Everyone's gone, Tifa. They were wondering about you." Yuffie whispered.
Tifa opened her eyes wearily, trying to focus on Yuffie's face. She moaned again and shifter her body lazily, as if she were passed out drunk. Yuffie brushed the few strands of hair that had fallen in front of Tifa's face back behind her ear. She kneeled down at the edge of the bed and looked at Tifa, an apologetic look on her face.
"I'm sorry." She said. "For what happened tonight...I know that's not what you wanted."
How could she understand? She was going to school and living on her own, but did she know what it felt like to have dreams that could never be obtained? She had a future for herself, but Tifa didn't. She was, and always would be, a stripper, no matter how hard she tried to dismiss the reputation; she was doomed by her fate.
"But you know what? Tomorrow's a new day, and now that they know what to expect, maybe they'll calm down, ya know?" Yuffie said cheerfully. Tifa moaned in response. Yuffie nodded her head a few times, then stood up to leave.
"Thank you." Tifa said quietly as the young girl walked out the door.
Returning home was the hardest thing he had ever had to do in his life. Facing his father after running away, it frightened him so much. He had expected a fight, but instead his father completely ignored him, turning his back on his own son coldly. Cloud had understood the source of his anger. Cloud had screwed up, and he knew that, both his life and almost the life of the college, if inanimate buildings could have lives.
He realized that this was it, this was the end. He couldn't find Tifa and he couldn't apologize, that there was no hope for them to ever be together. She had...disappeared, walked into the oblivion of people that inhabited the Earth, never to be seen or heard from again.
He lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He ran his fingers through his hair and thought of what to do with his life. He would have to go on living without her, never seeing her again or ever speaking to her. Maybe it was for the best, she didn't know what it was like to always be in the newspapers or on T.V. Maybe it was best that she didn't get involved with the Strife family.
He would never forget her, not ever. He couldn't, she was too much a part of him and he realized the error of his guilty ways. He would never take advantage of a single woman ever again; he would never again have a one-night stand. He knew he would never find another girl as interesting as Tifa so long as he lived, but at least he would have a standard to go by.
He felt himself drift off to sleep. She had been in his dreams every night since he had met her, even before he had met her since she was, he recalled, the 'girl of his dreams'. He always had wonderful dreams with her, which he knew from experience that that was a beacon of doom. Every time he had a good dream about someone, something bad happened between them. He woke up every morning with a sense of happiness, the kind a person gets after a good dream, but he knew that things would go horribly.
Tonight was different, however. Tonight his dream started out perfectly, he and Tifa were at the beach, watching the sunset together. Her hair was blowing fiercely in the wind and he laughed as she tried to keep it out of her face. He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arm around her, holding her close, never wanting to let her go. He looked out across the ocean at Costa Del Sol and smiled, watching as the waves lapped against their feet. He turned to look at Tifa, but was horrified to find her limp in his arms. He tried to shake her to get her to regain consciousness but it wouldn't work. He could feel the tears in his eyes as he clutched her lifeless body to his chest, begging for it not to be true.
He woke up in a sweat, his heart racing from his nightmare. He clutched his chest to try and steady his breathing. He looked around his room, she was not there. She was not dead, as far as he knew. He lowered his head and closed his eyes, knowing that she had not been with him. He had never gotten to show her Costa Del Sol, or watch the sunset with her, or do any of the things he had ever wanted to do with her. He had screwed up, and she would be there no more.