Chapter 9: Patch of Peyton's, Mini Orgasms & Bomb Scares
Peyton's POV
Woopdeedoo. I get to befriend Ms. I-Hate-You-Bitch. Talk about a riot that is waiting to happen. We are going to have such a super duper blast. It will be spiffy, dandy, and cheery. I can't wait to spend an hour socializing with Tree Hill's idiots.
Sense the bitter sarcasm?
Ok, so I should be grateful and all for having a family. But who in their right mind would? I get abandoned by my dead beat parents, picked up by the government, join some big top notch espionage group, and move to Tree Hill.
There's the story of my life in a nut shell. Not like anything ever exciting has happened to me... Let's just say that I am utterly bored out of my freaking mind.
I was supposed to be watching some convict named Robbie DeRange, but I got reassigned. The gov't said he was a lame case. Uh huh, lame case my ass. The guy supposedly bombed 3 locations. Yep, that sure is lame...
So basically, I'm here in Tree Hill for nothing. They don't want me back in D.C. because I'm "too young" and considering "my traumatic past" I should try to take it easy. So here I am relaxing. By relaxing, I mean getting drunk, laid, and waking up naked next to some nameless guy.
Ok, so this is party #89. My 89th party. Can't wait to get to 100...
After driving to the party at Jake's, we hopped out of the car.
"C'mon," I shouted to Haley aka Supreme Bitch. Not that I don't like her, its just she's a bitch.
"Yeah whatever," she replied as she rolled her eyes at me. Can you say stupid ungrateful bitch? I can. I pulled her over to the side.
A bunch of guys began ogling us. I walked up to them and whispered in one guy's ear.
"If you didn't bulge your eyes out like a meth addict's, then I may have stopped by to notice," I caressed into his ear. He was the captain of the football team, named Drew. He just shook his head with a smirk and led his cronies to a new batch of meat.
"What's your flavor?" I asked Haley, while pouring out the drinks.
"your's looks good, what is it?" she asked eyeing my concoction.
"A little thing I like to call Patch of Peyton. You get hammered with one sip." I handed her the liquor and gulped mine down. I saw her eyeing a brown haired boy.
"Peyton, mind me leaving. I want to umm... get to meet the town folk a little up close and personal," she asked keenly.
"Go on," I shooed her.
She walked up to the guy and they started to dance dangerously close. Dirty dancing if I must say so myself. Damn. I wish I saw him first. He looked good. Real good. Then they left and walked outside.
Ok, forget about Haley and her hunk. I have to find a man, not a boy, a man.
Let's see... who will be the next notch on my bed post.
No, not that guy. His forehead is way huge. Not the other guy, his skin is red. Just imagine what his "package" would look like. Eww... nasty. Hmm... not that guy either. He has a unibrow, a thick bushy one. Not that guy either, he looks a little flabby. Ooo, that guy is just perfect. Brown hair. Cute face. Doable body.
I walked up to him slowly. I wanted to make an entrance. You know, those elongated entrances in stupid teen movies, where the girl is moving in slow mo and her hair is blowing all over the place and her clothes are rumpled up in a so called "sexy manner". Yep, that was the entrance I wanted. Too bad it didn't happen.
I tripped over the rug and landed on the couch next to Brooke and her new project aka Lucas. My face was buried in a cushion. He came over with a worried look and helped me up. Embarrassment. Yep, that's the only word that comes to mind.
"Hey there, are you all right?" he asked me.
"Uhh... I think so," I said still obviously embarrassed.
"I sure hoped so. I mean you like had a crash course collision with the couch," he laughed lightly.
"Gee thanks. Now I have to hide my absolute mortification," I teased. Still embarrassed.
"Do you want to go outside to talk? It's kinda loud in here."
"Yeah sure..."
We pushed ourselves past the drunken lot and sat outside on the patio, leaning against the railings. I also saw Haley with that deliciously hot guy sitting on some stone steps a little way off. Wait, did I just say deliciously hot guy? O God, I have been spending way way too much time with Brooke...
"So what's your name?" he asked.
"Peyton, you?"
"Jake.... So..." he trailed.
"Yeah?"
We heard the sound of glass breaking and it came from his house.
"Arghhhhhh those sh!theads better not have dropped the fish tank," he exclaimed angrily.
"Go on and check it out. You are the host," I said.
"Yeah, yeah. But I wanted to ask you something."
"Well, then shoot."
"Do you want to go out Friday night?" he asked nervously.
"Yes," I said rather giddily. He walked off and smiled at me.
Since when have I become a girly girl? I need to stop my giddy act. It could ruin my name.
I scanned the outside area and became bored. I don't feel like getting wasted tonight. I just want to have some form of entertainment. My eyes scanned until they locked onto a couple. Bingo. It was Haley and her lover. They were talking.
"So you came from the Caribbean?" I heard Haley ask.
"Yeah," Nathan replied, but it looked like he was playing a little white lie. Guys. They'll do anything to get in a girl's pants.
"So how come I've heard of your name before?" she coyly asked.
"Well, see Nathan Scott has this ring to it. All girls let it roll on their tongue and feel the mini orgasm it gives them," he smirked. Pig.
"Haha Scott. But, to tell you the truth. The name Nathan Scott seems like it may not fulfill my lusty needs... after all it's just a mini orgasm, not a huge one," she flirted.
"O but say it with me now. Naaaaaaaathannnnn Scotttttttttttt. You gotta feel the roll. Let's do it again. Naaa—"
Haley burst out laughing and covered her face.
"Dear Lord, you are worse than Lucas," she laughed.
"Who's Lucas?" Nathan asked with a hint of jealousy in his voice.
"Calm down tiger. He's my best friend. We moved here together."
"So no boyfriend?"
"Why are you interested in this hot package also known as Haley James?"
"Maybe... I'll give you one thing though. You are hot."
"Thanks for your honesty."
"Well I like honest people."
"Me too. What about you? No girlfriend?"
"Nope."
"Good."
"You know what I just thought about? Your name sounds familiar too," he said after a moment of silence.
"Well, maybe it's that mini orgasm factor. It rolls on the tongue of any guy. Halllllllleyyyyy Jaammmmesssssss. Come on and try it with me," she replied.
"Are you mocking me?" he teased.
"Well, in a way, yes. But in a way, no. I am serious. Just try saying my name really slow."
"Ok. Haaaaaaaaaallllllleyyyyyyyyy Jaaaaaaaaammmmmesssssssssss. Wow that sure riled me up."
"It did? Hmmm... you sure get pleased easily."
"Dirty mind, James. I never thought you of all conservative girls that I have met would make such a crude comment."
"O please, just admit that you liked it."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Fine. You win."
"Told ya so."
Few moments of silence surpassed them once again.
"Ya know you look really pretty today?" Nathan said with a pathetic grin on his face. Na huh. They look like lovers already. What the hell is going on? They just move here and badabingbadaboom. They meet someone.
Me, I've lived here for awhile now and I go to parties to hook up... well there is Jake. But I didn't get the chance to talk to him properly. Some moron broke something in his house. They'll have hell to pay from me when I find out who.
I looked back at the nauseating couple.
"Thanks for the compliments Scott," Haley said with a sly grin.
"No problem. Like I said, it's all about the honesty," he replied.
"Honesty huh? Then I'll be honest. I'd like to kiss you right now," she told him with a plastered serious face on. What is she up to?
One of my many gifts (because I am talented, not to sound too cocky) is to read people's minds. I just have a knack for reading through lies, I guess.
"Wow... umm... Not gonna lie to ya, I wouldn't say no to that," he joked uneasily. Mr. Big Shot, has cat got your tongue?
"Is that a yes or no?" she asked.
"Wow, I like your straightforwardness. Of course, I'd like to stick my tongue down your throat."
"Well that's nice. Too bad, I was just teasing your hormones."
"Wait—what?"
"Just a joke, but you said yes..."
"Well, I would like to kiss you. You look really... beautiful." His eyes turned all misty. O God, I am going to puke.
He leaned forward into her. I peered closely and saw that his face was a mere inch from her's. Their lips were barely touching. Slowly, they made contact and the kiss became rather... passionate.
Urghh I shouldn't be watching this. It's just getting plain nasty now. I turned my face from the couple making out and walked back into the party.
Just as I shut the patio door, I heard a guy yell into the crowd.
"Get down! Everyone get down! This is a hold up!" yelled a huge giant with a ski mask on.
"Are you fcuking me? A hold up at a party? Who the fcuk does that?" asked an obvious drunk teenage.
"I said shut the fcuk up and lay on the floor. Do it before I shove lead up your ass!"
The mass of drunkards groaned and laid on the floor. I slowly did as I was told, but I needed to get find a way out. I looked over at Jake, who looked just as confused. Who the fcuk has a hold up at a party?
The giant man and his lackies grabbed all this expensive and shoved it in big black trash bags. Wow, let me tell you how "experienced" they are. Trash bags? C'mon, I expect at least some sort of actual criminal technology. But no, they had to steal their mommies cleaning ware.
"Hey Bob, you done with that bag?" asked one of the robbers.
"Yeah man. Take it to the car," replied this Bob guy.
Wait, his name is Bob. His name is Bob! Why does that remind me of someone? Hmm... O MY GOD! Robbie DeRange! Robbie DeRange = Psychotic Bob
Now, if I know Robbie DeRange, I know he has planted a bomb somewhere. The question is where. Where is it?
Just then, I heard some commotion. I tilted my head over to see what the hell was going on. There was this brown haired guy beating the sh!t out of Bob and his cronies. They ended up lying on the floor bent over with bloody noses and black eyes.
"Put all the fcuking stuff back! Now!" ordered this brown haired guy.
"Listen Tim, why don't you go back to wherever the hell you came from. I'm working this area. Not you," replied Bob.
"I just told you to put the stuff back and yet I hear all this crap from you. Go! Put the stuff back!"
"No can do. This place is going to blow up in smithereens in 3 minutes."
"Then turn off the bomb!"
"Nope."
Bob kicked this guy named Tim hard in the shins and ran off while Tim lay on the floor holding his legs in dear agony.
I jumped up and helped Tim up.
"I'll turn off the bomb. You just get everyone outta here," I told him sternly. He nodded his head.
I rushed around the drunken mass. If I was a giant with a weird obsession with bombs, where would I put it? O I know! In the bathroom... ok that was weird. That just popped in my mind. I've spent way too much time on Bob's case...
I ran around looking for a bathroom and found one. I looked behind the toilet and saw a ticking, beeping, buzzing machine.
I opened the closet and pulled out a pair of pliers.
I looked at the bomb. 1 minute to go. 59 seconds. 58 seconds. 57 seconds...
Ok, think Peyton. Which wire is it? Blue, yellow, green, or red? Which one dammit? Hmmm...
10 seconds. 9 seconds. 8 seconds. 7 seconds...
Not the blue. Or the yellow. Or the green. So it's the red.
I placed the pliers around the red wire.
4 seconds. 3 seconds. 2 seconds. SNAP. I had just cut the wire. The clock froze at 1 second.
Talk about something stolen right from a movie... (AN: wink wink)
I breathed in and out and walked out of the house to hear people clapping their hands for me while others were throwing up and dancing around drunkardly. Just your average Tree Hill party. Action packed with that hint of teenage stupidity.
Peyton's POV
Woopdeedoo. I get to befriend Ms. I-Hate-You-Bitch. Talk about a riot that is waiting to happen. We are going to have such a super duper blast. It will be spiffy, dandy, and cheery. I can't wait to spend an hour socializing with Tree Hill's idiots.
Sense the bitter sarcasm?
Ok, so I should be grateful and all for having a family. But who in their right mind would? I get abandoned by my dead beat parents, picked up by the government, join some big top notch espionage group, and move to Tree Hill.
There's the story of my life in a nut shell. Not like anything ever exciting has happened to me... Let's just say that I am utterly bored out of my freaking mind.
I was supposed to be watching some convict named Robbie DeRange, but I got reassigned. The gov't said he was a lame case. Uh huh, lame case my ass. The guy supposedly bombed 3 locations. Yep, that sure is lame...
So basically, I'm here in Tree Hill for nothing. They don't want me back in D.C. because I'm "too young" and considering "my traumatic past" I should try to take it easy. So here I am relaxing. By relaxing, I mean getting drunk, laid, and waking up naked next to some nameless guy.
Ok, so this is party #89. My 89th party. Can't wait to get to 100...
After driving to the party at Jake's, we hopped out of the car.
"C'mon," I shouted to Haley aka Supreme Bitch. Not that I don't like her, its just she's a bitch.
"Yeah whatever," she replied as she rolled her eyes at me. Can you say stupid ungrateful bitch? I can. I pulled her over to the side.
A bunch of guys began ogling us. I walked up to them and whispered in one guy's ear.
"If you didn't bulge your eyes out like a meth addict's, then I may have stopped by to notice," I caressed into his ear. He was the captain of the football team, named Drew. He just shook his head with a smirk and led his cronies to a new batch of meat.
"What's your flavor?" I asked Haley, while pouring out the drinks.
"your's looks good, what is it?" she asked eyeing my concoction.
"A little thing I like to call Patch of Peyton. You get hammered with one sip." I handed her the liquor and gulped mine down. I saw her eyeing a brown haired boy.
"Peyton, mind me leaving. I want to umm... get to meet the town folk a little up close and personal," she asked keenly.
"Go on," I shooed her.
She walked up to the guy and they started to dance dangerously close. Dirty dancing if I must say so myself. Damn. I wish I saw him first. He looked good. Real good. Then they left and walked outside.
Ok, forget about Haley and her hunk. I have to find a man, not a boy, a man.
Let's see... who will be the next notch on my bed post.
No, not that guy. His forehead is way huge. Not the other guy, his skin is red. Just imagine what his "package" would look like. Eww... nasty. Hmm... not that guy either. He has a unibrow, a thick bushy one. Not that guy either, he looks a little flabby. Ooo, that guy is just perfect. Brown hair. Cute face. Doable body.
I walked up to him slowly. I wanted to make an entrance. You know, those elongated entrances in stupid teen movies, where the girl is moving in slow mo and her hair is blowing all over the place and her clothes are rumpled up in a so called "sexy manner". Yep, that was the entrance I wanted. Too bad it didn't happen.
I tripped over the rug and landed on the couch next to Brooke and her new project aka Lucas. My face was buried in a cushion. He came over with a worried look and helped me up. Embarrassment. Yep, that's the only word that comes to mind.
"Hey there, are you all right?" he asked me.
"Uhh... I think so," I said still obviously embarrassed.
"I sure hoped so. I mean you like had a crash course collision with the couch," he laughed lightly.
"Gee thanks. Now I have to hide my absolute mortification," I teased. Still embarrassed.
"Do you want to go outside to talk? It's kinda loud in here."
"Yeah sure..."
We pushed ourselves past the drunken lot and sat outside on the patio, leaning against the railings. I also saw Haley with that deliciously hot guy sitting on some stone steps a little way off. Wait, did I just say deliciously hot guy? O God, I have been spending way way too much time with Brooke...
"So what's your name?" he asked.
"Peyton, you?"
"Jake.... So..." he trailed.
"Yeah?"
We heard the sound of glass breaking and it came from his house.
"Arghhhhhh those sh!theads better not have dropped the fish tank," he exclaimed angrily.
"Go on and check it out. You are the host," I said.
"Yeah, yeah. But I wanted to ask you something."
"Well, then shoot."
"Do you want to go out Friday night?" he asked nervously.
"Yes," I said rather giddily. He walked off and smiled at me.
Since when have I become a girly girl? I need to stop my giddy act. It could ruin my name.
I scanned the outside area and became bored. I don't feel like getting wasted tonight. I just want to have some form of entertainment. My eyes scanned until they locked onto a couple. Bingo. It was Haley and her lover. They were talking.
"So you came from the Caribbean?" I heard Haley ask.
"Yeah," Nathan replied, but it looked like he was playing a little white lie. Guys. They'll do anything to get in a girl's pants.
"So how come I've heard of your name before?" she coyly asked.
"Well, see Nathan Scott has this ring to it. All girls let it roll on their tongue and feel the mini orgasm it gives them," he smirked. Pig.
"Haha Scott. But, to tell you the truth. The name Nathan Scott seems like it may not fulfill my lusty needs... after all it's just a mini orgasm, not a huge one," she flirted.
"O but say it with me now. Naaaaaaaathannnnn Scotttttttttttt. You gotta feel the roll. Let's do it again. Naaa—"
Haley burst out laughing and covered her face.
"Dear Lord, you are worse than Lucas," she laughed.
"Who's Lucas?" Nathan asked with a hint of jealousy in his voice.
"Calm down tiger. He's my best friend. We moved here together."
"So no boyfriend?"
"Why are you interested in this hot package also known as Haley James?"
"Maybe... I'll give you one thing though. You are hot."
"Thanks for your honesty."
"Well I like honest people."
"Me too. What about you? No girlfriend?"
"Nope."
"Good."
"You know what I just thought about? Your name sounds familiar too," he said after a moment of silence.
"Well, maybe it's that mini orgasm factor. It rolls on the tongue of any guy. Halllllllleyyyyy Jaammmmesssssss. Come on and try it with me," she replied.
"Are you mocking me?" he teased.
"Well, in a way, yes. But in a way, no. I am serious. Just try saying my name really slow."
"Ok. Haaaaaaaaaallllllleyyyyyyyyy Jaaaaaaaaammmmmesssssssssss. Wow that sure riled me up."
"It did? Hmmm... you sure get pleased easily."
"Dirty mind, James. I never thought you of all conservative girls that I have met would make such a crude comment."
"O please, just admit that you liked it."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Fine. You win."
"Told ya so."
Few moments of silence surpassed them once again.
"Ya know you look really pretty today?" Nathan said with a pathetic grin on his face. Na huh. They look like lovers already. What the hell is going on? They just move here and badabingbadaboom. They meet someone.
Me, I've lived here for awhile now and I go to parties to hook up... well there is Jake. But I didn't get the chance to talk to him properly. Some moron broke something in his house. They'll have hell to pay from me when I find out who.
I looked back at the nauseating couple.
"Thanks for the compliments Scott," Haley said with a sly grin.
"No problem. Like I said, it's all about the honesty," he replied.
"Honesty huh? Then I'll be honest. I'd like to kiss you right now," she told him with a plastered serious face on. What is she up to?
One of my many gifts (because I am talented, not to sound too cocky) is to read people's minds. I just have a knack for reading through lies, I guess.
"Wow... umm... Not gonna lie to ya, I wouldn't say no to that," he joked uneasily. Mr. Big Shot, has cat got your tongue?
"Is that a yes or no?" she asked.
"Wow, I like your straightforwardness. Of course, I'd like to stick my tongue down your throat."
"Well that's nice. Too bad, I was just teasing your hormones."
"Wait—what?"
"Just a joke, but you said yes..."
"Well, I would like to kiss you. You look really... beautiful." His eyes turned all misty. O God, I am going to puke.
He leaned forward into her. I peered closely and saw that his face was a mere inch from her's. Their lips were barely touching. Slowly, they made contact and the kiss became rather... passionate.
Urghh I shouldn't be watching this. It's just getting plain nasty now. I turned my face from the couple making out and walked back into the party.
Just as I shut the patio door, I heard a guy yell into the crowd.
"Get down! Everyone get down! This is a hold up!" yelled a huge giant with a ski mask on.
"Are you fcuking me? A hold up at a party? Who the fcuk does that?" asked an obvious drunk teenage.
"I said shut the fcuk up and lay on the floor. Do it before I shove lead up your ass!"
The mass of drunkards groaned and laid on the floor. I slowly did as I was told, but I needed to get find a way out. I looked over at Jake, who looked just as confused. Who the fcuk has a hold up at a party?
The giant man and his lackies grabbed all this expensive and shoved it in big black trash bags. Wow, let me tell you how "experienced" they are. Trash bags? C'mon, I expect at least some sort of actual criminal technology. But no, they had to steal their mommies cleaning ware.
"Hey Bob, you done with that bag?" asked one of the robbers.
"Yeah man. Take it to the car," replied this Bob guy.
Wait, his name is Bob. His name is Bob! Why does that remind me of someone? Hmm... O MY GOD! Robbie DeRange! Robbie DeRange = Psychotic Bob
Now, if I know Robbie DeRange, I know he has planted a bomb somewhere. The question is where. Where is it?
Just then, I heard some commotion. I tilted my head over to see what the hell was going on. There was this brown haired guy beating the sh!t out of Bob and his cronies. They ended up lying on the floor bent over with bloody noses and black eyes.
"Put all the fcuking stuff back! Now!" ordered this brown haired guy.
"Listen Tim, why don't you go back to wherever the hell you came from. I'm working this area. Not you," replied Bob.
"I just told you to put the stuff back and yet I hear all this crap from you. Go! Put the stuff back!"
"No can do. This place is going to blow up in smithereens in 3 minutes."
"Then turn off the bomb!"
"Nope."
Bob kicked this guy named Tim hard in the shins and ran off while Tim lay on the floor holding his legs in dear agony.
I jumped up and helped Tim up.
"I'll turn off the bomb. You just get everyone outta here," I told him sternly. He nodded his head.
I rushed around the drunken mass. If I was a giant with a weird obsession with bombs, where would I put it? O I know! In the bathroom... ok that was weird. That just popped in my mind. I've spent way too much time on Bob's case...
I ran around looking for a bathroom and found one. I looked behind the toilet and saw a ticking, beeping, buzzing machine.
I opened the closet and pulled out a pair of pliers.
I looked at the bomb. 1 minute to go. 59 seconds. 58 seconds. 57 seconds...
Ok, think Peyton. Which wire is it? Blue, yellow, green, or red? Which one dammit? Hmmm...
10 seconds. 9 seconds. 8 seconds. 7 seconds...
Not the blue. Or the yellow. Or the green. So it's the red.
I placed the pliers around the red wire.
4 seconds. 3 seconds. 2 seconds. SNAP. I had just cut the wire. The clock froze at 1 second.
Talk about something stolen right from a movie... (AN: wink wink)
I breathed in and out and walked out of the house to hear people clapping their hands for me while others were throwing up and dancing around drunkardly. Just your average Tree Hill party. Action packed with that hint of teenage stupidity.