When He Was Mine

By: Maggz

Disclaimer: InuYasha and Co. © Rumiko Takahashi

Chapter 15

I could tell from the light changing outside the cabin window that it was growing later in the morning and reluctantly I moved my head from InuYasha's chest and looked down into his face. His hand had been absently stroking my hair and it had felt good, relaxing, so I hadn't moved one inch since we had lain together on the bed. His eyes moved from the window to my own face and he smiled softly and twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. "I know... you are gonna tell me it's time to go and I don't want to...", he said and sighed. "Neither do I but we HAVE to see to your car InuYasha. And nobody knows where we're at right now...", I said. "..and that's the good part..", he whispered and pulled my head down to kiss me.

"Kagome, do you regret any of this...?", he asked me as he broke the kiss. I was surprised by the question. InuYasha asking me if I regretted being with him. "Think before you say...", he said and turned his head to look back out the window leaving me wondering about his words. Did HE regret it?

I decided to be honest with him, take him at his word and just answer the question, not reading anything into what he had asked me. Taking a breath, I rolled off him and sat up in the bed, pulling the blanket around me and over his naked body, the chill in the cabin was quite noticeable.

He turned his head to look at me again as I covered him and waited... his eyes big, amber, and serious on me. "No, InuYasha. No matter where I go... where YOU and I go or what we do when we leave here, I'll never regret having sex with you, making love for the first time with you. I would change nothing. It felt RIGHT, it felt good, and making you my first it was the first of many good choices I plan to make in my life from now on.", I said. I picked up his hand that lay across his tummy and held it in both of mine rubbing against his long, tanned fingers, turning his silver ring round and round as I nervously waited for him to respond. When it looked like he wasn't going to say anything, I placed a kiss on his opened palm and started to climb off the bed and go for my clothes into the cold living room.

He made a sound and reached out to grab my thigh as I moved and I stopped and sat back... all I wanted, needed was one word, anything that said he didn't regret making love to me…

"Sit back...", he said and I did. He reached for my hand and held it loosely bringing it to his lips to kiss each finger. "What you just said... is it true?", he asked me, keeping his eyes on my fingers. "True? of course, why would I ever tell something like that to you if it wasn't?', I said. "I don't know. I just... something tells me that once we're back in the 'real' world all this will be just a hot, sexy, sweet dream...", he said and I smiled. "You getting all soft and mushy-gushy on me Hara?", I grinned. "Stop that, Kagome, you know what I mean...", he said. "I can tell you from the soreness in my body that it isn't a dream, InuYasha, and like I said, we play it by ear when we leave this place... take it as it comes, enjoy each moment... just take it easy, InuYasha...", I said.

Did I want more of him? Sure. I suppose I did... but did I TELL him that? well, that was another chapter entirely in my life. InuYasha had a busy, hectic lifestyle, on the road more than home, girls and women by the thousands to choose from. I just wanted the move to be his and I wanted to go slowly. I was going to have so much to deal with once I returned home and Kikyo, along with my parents would not be very happy, I knew that at once. Not to mention, school would be starting up in a month and a half and I'd be very busy. I couldn't just pin all my hopes and dreams on one night with InuYasha... even if I had given him my virginity I wasn't going to go all helpless and hopeless on him.

"And if I want more...?", he asked me and I sighed... was this man never satisfied? "Then we talk about it...", I said. "Fine, I'll take that. Now let's get dressed and out of here, it's fucking COLD!", he said and slid out of bed going into the bathroom to clean up. I wrapped the blanket around me and went to the living room to grab my clothes. Just looking at that pile of clothing made me blush and quiver. InuYasha had loved me there first... changed me... changed who and what I was and that I could keep to myself.

I dropped the blanket and started to dress hearing him come out of the bathroom and down the short hallway to me. "Black bikinis... you should be illegal in those!", he smiled as his hand smacked my bottom lightly. I giggled and reached for my jeans and sweater while he pulled on boxers and tugged on his own jeans . I went into the bathroom and washed my face brushing my hair out of my eyes with my fingers as InuYasha tidied up the blankets we had pulled down as well as the bed.

We soon found ourselves outside on the small front porch; InuYasha locking the door and looking at me at the same time. "You know I don't want to leave here yet...", he said and I nodded. "It was nice... thank you for taking care of me...", I smiled and stood on tiptoe to place a soft kiss on his lips. He grabbed my hand and we walked back toward the car. Everything looked fine and he popped the hood and messed about inside for a bit then threw the keys to me and asked me to try to crank it. It turned over on the first try and I laughed and clapped my hands.

He looked around the front of the hood and then shut it, coming to the driver's door as I slid to the passenger side. He got in and smiled at me. "I'll bet you think I'm lying about last night, that I told you a lie and took you to that cabin with every intent of making love to you...", he said. I could only laugh as I thought about the scenario. It did seem rather suspicious but who was I to complain?

We drove on in the same direction we were headed when the car had stopped on us and I watched out the window as the houses and farms and fields rushed past us. I don't think I was seeing those things. I was seeing InuYasha, InuYasha kissing me, reliving it all. InuYasha undressing me, InuYasha pulling me down on the blankets as his hands moved over me. InuYasha's sweet words of love, his touch, his gentleness, but his firmness as well... his need and desire, all of that wrapped up into one incredible looking package and he was wanting a relationship with ME... me of all people.

I felt fingers on my thigh, squeezing me there. I turned and looked at him and he smiled. "What in hell are you thinking of, Kagome? I've sat here driving and watched you for the past thirty minutes. Is it ME. Is it US? what is it?", he asked and bit his lower lip. "Just thinking about you... yeah... you and me and quit looking so worried...", I said.

We drove along for another short bit and I turned my head eventually and looked out the window once more. "Kagome, we need to talk... talk about the US that will be when we get back home. And I know it's not easy for you but we need to... and now..", he insisted. I turned in the seat, my leg pulled up on the seat and looked at him. "Ok, InuYasha... let's talk...", I said.

He looked at me then back at the road and then back to me and I waited. "I need to know you believe I didn't just fuck you for the sake of fucking you...", he said and I almost laughed at him. His use of rude words was cute to me. I'd heard him do it several times and when he just brought them up in normal conversations and said them in a normal tone of voice. I thought he was even cuter. "I don't think that you just DID that, InuYasha...", I said softly. "I won't say that you haven't made me crazy since the first day I saw you, since the first time I touched you in that old restaurant. I won't say I haven't gone to bed many nights since then wishing you were in my bed with me, and I won't say I don't dream of you constantly because I DO. I've craved your body since the first time but getting to know you like that night I picked you up when you were jogging, and spending time with you I've gotten to know you more, and the more I know the more I like.", he said.

"There's so much to you, so much I want and need to know. Do you understand that and believe me, Kagome?", he asked. 'I WANT to InuYasha, but I'm afraid my emotions just get in the way... you... overwhelm me at times. You're so intense, so centered and I can't see for the life of me WHAT you want or need or SEE in me!", I said honestly. "If there's one thing I need for you to do for me, Kagome, it's that I want you to see YOU for what YOU are beautiful, selfless, intelligent, funny...", he said. I picked up his hand and squeezed it. "Did these big boobs of mine get you all blinded?", I asked him and his mouth dropped open, his eyes going from the road to me and back. "NO!", he bellowed and I threw my head back and laughed. "I was only teasing you, InuYasha!", I smiled and he looked at me for a second and then shook his head and smiled.

"Erm... InuYasha... Kikyo isn't he only person I have to talk to...", I said... and damn, how I hated to even bring up the subject. "I know... your mom and your dad... I know, they'll hate me, and it shouldn't be blamed on you...", he said. "NO, I'm not talking about them either but you are right, they will be pretty angry...", I said. His eyes looked into mine and I could see he was trying to read me, wondering who or what I was talking about.

"It's Kouga, InuYasha...", I said and I felt his body stiffen next to mine. He didn't SAY anything but his body language could be read loud and clear. "I can't just act like we haven't been together. I can't just show up somewhere and at some point all cozy with you and expect HIM to understand it so easily.", I said. He pulled his hand from mine and clamped it onto the steering wheel and his jaw tightened. "I fucking HATE that his hands were all over you, Kagome...", he growled and frowned at the road. "But InuYasha, there was NOTHING between you and I then... nothing, no hint of anything... only a kiss that you explained away as being innocent, remember?", I said. "He had his fucking hands all OVER you at that party, and when I caught you in the corner... DAMN! Kagome... his hands were down you fucking jeans. He might've already felt your pussy!", he bellowed. "INUYASHA! that's enough!", I said and blushed a thousand shades of red. "Would IT have been enough? Tell me, Kagome, just tell me. I have to know... If I hadn't stopped you, would it have been Kouga that you gave your virginity to?", he asked me and I noticed he was putting his foot on the brake and slowing the car, pulling onto the side of the road.

I stubbornly pushed out my lip and turned away from him. InuYasha was a dream... a beautiful, sexually charged dream to me and I didn't for the life of me know how to handle him when he became angry. Now he had made ME angry and I didn't trust myself to speak to him. "ANSWER me, Kagome!!", he said and turned off the car throwing his keys with a force into the back seat where they hit the leather interior with a thud and bounced to the floor. I closed my eyes and willed his anger away, willed mine away...

"Kouga wants you, he talked of you nonstop the last time we all were together and you two were seeing each other. Said you were one hot piece and that he'd wait for you as long as it took... made me fucking crazy!!! ", he shouted and I turned completely away from him now, my back to him. "Is that what you wanted...? is it? to make Kouga HOT for you... 'cause he IS already. One more minute and he would've been fingering you in that living room... was THAT what you wanted?", he yelled even louder.

"Stop it, InuYasha, just stop it!!", I said and covered my ears. "You seem to forget you were with MY sister at that party, playing up both of us, as it were, Kouga and I went out at least five times, he was wonderful to me, he has been since the beginning and I won't let you sit here and go on about him like this... about me!", I said.

"'Cause you want HIM to fuck you. That's it, isn't it? that's why you can't give me a straight answer as far as what will happen when we get back home... you have to make your mind up, is that it?", he thundered and I'd had enough. I grabbed the handle of the door and pulled at it flinging it open and throwing myself out of the car. I could hear him behind me, shouting at me to come back and the more I heard him the faster I walked into the woods, away from InuYasha and his anger... as far away as I could get.

I have no idea how far I walked; my breath came and went in gasps and I just walked further. Tears were streaming down my face and I angrily brushed them aside and continued on. Soon, I found a big tree and I leaned against it, my forehead dug into the bark of it. I sobbed, sobbed for what I had done and what I would do, not knowing how to feel anymore... and not liking InuYasha's anger with me at all. It had come upon him at once and I hadn't even been prepared. Was he really so jealous of Kouga and I?

I heard his voice through the thicket and went around to the other side of the tree not wanting to see him yet. "For Godsakes, Kagome... just tell me where you ARE..!!", he was shouting and I could hear him crashing thru the brush and bushes. He must've spotted me... it was quiet and I dare not look around. I still had no desire to see him.

I heard him closer now... fast, furious steps coming at me and his hand suddenly reached for my elbow as he pulled me around roughly. "Don't EVER walk away from me like that... EVER!", he said and his golden eyes blazed into mine. "Then don't ever talk that way to me again, EVER!", I said firmly and tried to pull my arm from his grasp. "Stop it, Kagome... now!", he shouted and used his other hand to push me against the tree by my shoulder.

He now had me pinned there and I had no choice but to look into those amber pools. He was breathing hard as was I, and before I knew or realized his mouth had crushed into mine, his body had pinned me even harder, tighter against the tree and his hands had pulled both of my arms above my head. The kiss was savage, hard, full of many things and I tried to fight him off at first still angry, but his hands soon moved down my side and to my waist, and he started to grind into me pushing me against the tree and moaning. My hands... oh dear God... I was helpless to him when he kissed me, I knew... but I couldn't help it. My hands moved down and rested on his shoulders as the kiss relaxed and his tongue started to slide around my lips.

Opening my mouth I allowed him in and he groaned loudly and grinded himself into me again. I could feel him, he was so hard, and his breath came fast. His hands moved up under my sweater and to my skin and quicker than lightening he was sliding his hands to my bra and then pushing the band up and over them, his fingers kneading me, holding me, wanting me...

I let my hands move to his waist and pulled his shirt from his jeans. It was almost like we were incapable of any other communication, no words were spoken, only a gasp here, a sigh there, a moan or a grunt. I pushed my fingers across his tummy, sliding around the trail of hair the disappeared into his jeans and I moaned now taking my fingers and unbuttoning his jeans. His kiss had bruised my mouth and he lifted his face from mine and looked at me as his fingers pulled at my nipples. "I want to fuck you!", he whispered to me and I nodded. "I want you to...", I said.

*****

He held me there, his face in my hair, his fingers now gently rubbing my bum where he had squeezed so hard... "Damn you, Kagome... like some kind of spell... can't... get you out of me system...", he moaned and searched for my mouth, found it and kissed me.

Soon, he released me, let me down and I slid down him and stood with my back propped up against the tree, looking at him through strands of my hair that had fallen into my face. He pushed the hair back from my face and looked at me. "We have to be together, somehow, someway. YOU know that, don't you? can't you SEE...?", he asked and I nodded blindly, feeling like I needed to cry. I DID want him and only him but I was afraid... so afraid of depending on him, needing him, giving him some kind of control over me... but what could I do? It had already begun...

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A/N: OK, here's chapter 15… Yeah, I know u r wondering what the hell just happened… Well, due to the  *erhm* content of chapters 11-14, I decided to post them only in AFF.net, so if wanna read them then go here: http : / / adultfan . nexcess . net / aff / story . php ? no = 21509

And of course don't forget to review! U know reviews make me happy! ^_^

Maggz