When He Was Mine
By: Maggz
Disclaimer: InuYasha and Co. © Rumiko Takahashi
Chapter 18
InuYasha laughed loudly at my remark and squeezed the other nipple in between his fingers. "OW!", I cried and lowered my mouth to his and he, expecting a kiss, formed the perfect pout and I bit his lips gently. "Kagome!", he complained and rolled me to my back. "How did you learn to tease like that? You wouldn't be a virgin for long if you teased anyone else that way!", he laughed. "I didn't learn anything anywhere. I was teasing you, paying you back for teasing me...", I pouted and he growled and lowered his head to me, licking across my mouth. "You know... I could get very naughty with you... that is, if you wanted to...', he murmured against my throat. I froze; something in what he had just said to me rang around in my head and I turned away from him and toward the wall.
"Hey, Kagome, what is it…? I was only joking with you...", he said and pulled warm arms around my waist. I only shook my head, tears stinging my eyes as the words of my sister rang in my head, round and round… her telling me how she knew what InuYasha liked, how he liked it and how far he would go...
"Kagome, baby... Talk to me. How can you change moods so quickly, like night and day?", he asked me and tugged on me hard enough to turn me back toward him. He cupped my chin in his hand and brought my face forward as hot tears rolled down my cheeks. "Shit, Kagome... what's up?", he asked and thumbed the tears away. I only shook my head and tried to bury my face in the pillow. "Kagome, if you don't talk to me how can I help? It's about home, about today? About Kikyo, right?", he asked me and I simply nodded.
"Let me think... what did I say to you just now that made you change... hmmmmm...", he surmised and I waited, wanting him to bring it up. "I only said I could get very naughty with you if you... oh my God!", he said and sat up in the bed. "She told you things, things that happened between she and I after she found out you slept with me, is that it?", he asked and his eyes widened. I nodded again and he exploded then. "Fucking BITCH!!", he yelled as he sprang off the bed, grabbing his boxers and shoving them up his legs to his waist.
"It's got nothing to do with me and you, Kagome, nothing but your damned sister... I'm sorry but she's twisted, a cold bitch...", he spat as he paced the room up and down. "God, for your sake I wish I hadn't been so fast on you, let it settle down between she and I... though really I don't think that would have made any difference. She only wanted the spotlight, Kagome; never me, not the real me... DAMN it!", he swore as he picked up a hairbrush and threw it at the wall where it crashed and then bounced off.
I sat up on the bed and grabbed at the blanket that covered it trying to cover myself. He was pacing madly about the room and I didn't know what to do or say. I supposed I should have kept my mouth shut but I hadn't really told him anything, only answered his questions.
His eyes swung to mine and he stopped in midstride and came to me, sitting down on the bed quickly. "Kagome, I'm sorry, so sorry. I just... it makes me crazy to think of losing you so soon. How can I talk to you about your sister without it hurting you...? destroying the relationship between you and her; or hurting you and I... I know you don't want to hear about any of it, you've told me that plenty but damn, how do I get you to see that with you. I have so much more... how?", he asked as he picked up my hands.
"I hate to think you touched her, InuYasha... I hate it... I hate to think you kissed her, told her you loved her and God help me, fucked her!", I said lowly and looked at my hands twisted in my lap. "Ah, baby. If I could take it all away I would... but then, I'd never have met you... never...", he said. "I look at you. I feel your body under mine. I feel your kiss on my lips and your hands on me. And it's nothing... NOTHING like it was with her, NOTHING. You're not even in the same bracket, in the same group.", he said. "I know, InuYasha. I know. I've known that all my life and if I didn't know... well, I was constantly reminded.", I said. "NO... I didn't mean it like that... YOU, Kagome... YOU are so much more of a woman, so beautiful, so alive and free and fun. It's YOU that should have been getting all the accolades and yet, you never do. And you believe in how they make you feel, I see that...", he said and he blew out a breath in frustration.
"Can I tell you... would you understand this and take it the way I mean it if I told you that I was a thousand times more satisfied, excited by you in bed than with her?", he asked and my eyes looked up into his. I didn't know whether to be offended or overjoyed, because I could tell by his voice that he was very serious. Only.... WAS it just my newness? my virginity that turned him on? and what after that? when it grew more familiar...? But as my eyes found his I saw how very hard he was trying, and just what he was trying to say to me.
He pulled me onto his lap and we sat there like that for a few long silent minutes. "She'll make it worse, Kagome. You'll begin to hate me if you can't learn to trust me. Because the bottom line is I did sleep with her, and she'll end up telling you everything and then some to make it sound more enticing than it was.", he said softly. "Can't you trust me? Believe me when I say you're my girlfriend now, you're who I want, who I need in my life?", he asked. "If I was so close to her, needed her so badly... why in hell did you steal my heart from the very first? why did I kiss you that night.? why did I take you from Kouga and make you mine?", he asked.
"To prove something to her? to yourself, maybe? I don't know InuYasha. I've wracked my brains for hours wondering what you see in me. I'm not special, not beautiful. You're accustomed to being with girls that look like Kikyo, act like Kikyo... Why in hell would you even want me? And even if it sounds like I'm knocking myself, I'm really not. I accept what I am. I don't think at all that I'm ugly but I'm not a glamour girl, not a stick thin model, not suave and worldly and sophisticated. I get around those people and my tongue jams up...", I said.
"Baby, come here...", he said and pulled me up off the bed, taking me down the hallway to the bathroom where a full length mirror hung on the door. I tried to turn toward him and away from my naked form in the mirror. It was one thing to be naked with him and tease him in bed, quite another to stand and look at that nakedness with him right behind me and confront myself.
"I've told you to do this, you won't. But now you and I are gonna... so open those pretty eyes for me..", he said and I did. I looked and then looked away, into his eyes. He remained locked behind me, his arms around my waist.
His hands reached for my hair and he pulled it thru his fingers and let it fall. "You see this hair? do you know how many prima donnas I work with that beg for this look, the color, the sexy tresses, the smell of it.", he sighed and buried his nose in the strands he held there. Then his hands moved to my shoulders and his face lifted from my hair and looked into my eyes in the mirror.
"God! How can you not be proud of and know how beautiful your breasts are?", he asked as he worked his hands to them and held them there. "I get an instant hard-on just thinking about them... so curvy, so fucking sexy... and your nipples... oh man! you'll never have another man make love to your tits like me. I could lick and suck on them all day. You see how you affected me at the cabin...? I messed you up with my cum all over you, and all that over these beautiful babies!," he smiled at me.
His hands moved to my waist and he slid his fingers to my tummy, then back to my hips. "So sexy... Whoever told you that your body isn't fantastic is crazy, Kagome... crazy. It's a body built for loving up... I can't get enough of you..", he said and bit my neck playfully. His hands ran up and down my hips and I watched them as they slid against my skin. His eyes were full on me when I looked back at him and a smile lit up his whole face.
"You want me to get into how beautiful... THIS is?", he laughed and ran his fingers quickly between my legs and I gasped as his longest finger found me and opened me quickly, his mouth on my neck already, sucking the skin there. "InuYasha... nooooooooo...", I moaned as his fingers moved swiftly over the sensitive flesh. Why was it that he could shut me up, make me do whatever he wanted with a kiss or a touch?
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"Got the strength for a clean up, a shower?", he smiled and I nodded. He helped me off his lap and I stood, my back against the wall as he adjusted the knobs on the shower and motioned for me to come on in after him. I climbed in and we showered, we bathed each other off, we washed each other's hair and we kissed but that was it.
Wrapped in towels we went back to his room and lay across his bed, my head resting on his arm. His hand running softly down my arm. "Kagome? would you think on something?", he asked me and I turned on my side and looked at him. "What's that InuYasha?", I asked. "Going back to school... could you get your own apartment? live on campus maybe?", he asked me. "You mean HERE, at home?", I asked, for the thought had never crossed my mind. "Yes, here. Give you... well, US a bit of privacy. I'd love to maybe lease an apartment in the next few days and wondered how you would feel staying there in it?", he asked. "Well, I don't know about THAT InuYasha. Wouldn't I look like… well... a whore, worse than...", I started and he put a hand over my mouth. "You think you look like a whore now?", he asked and removed his hand. "No, well... some people... I just...", I tried and the words would not come.
"I was just thinking that if you had your own place, if we had our own place it would be so nice to come home to you when I get off the road. To know you were there for me and that you were getting no hassle...", he said. "You think I'd get no hassle from my family if I had you putting me up in an apartment, InuYasha?", I asked him and let out a nervous giggle. "I'm sorry, Kagome... I guess... I should've thought it out more..", he said. "No. It's OK, InuYasha. Don't be hurt. Let me think on this. Next time you come back home we'll have something figured out, ok?", I asked.
He kissed me again and pulled me into his arms. "Don't want you to hurt..." he said. "I won't. I'll handle it... I've been handling it for 19 years, InuYasha. This just adds something to it that hasn't been there before...", I explained.
"Wish you could spend the night here in my arms all night. Making love every time we wake...", he whispered as his fingers moved over my skin, tracing patterns there. "Me too, InuYasha. Me too...", I said and added silently to myself... 'It's the only time I feel safe and loved...'
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A/N: This chapter has been edited. If u want to read it complete:
http : / / adultfan . nexcess . net / aff / story . php ? no = 21509
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Maggz