When He Was Mine

By: Maggz

Disclaimer: InuYasha and Co. © Rumiko Takahashi

Chapter 21

InuYasha woke me up, his hands woke me up. I felt them move over my breasts, slide down my tummy and then go between my legs. He was being quiet and otherwise still but the movement of those hands had caused me to wake up. I moved slightly, looking at my watch from behind his back where I had held him as he fell asleep against me and noticed we had only been asleep a little over two hours. His head was still down on me, not looking into my face, so therefore, I thought he probably thought me asleep myself still. "Awake?", he whispered into the darkness and I grinned. "Yes, awake. Seems you woke up first!", I said. "Just missed you is all...", he said quietly and let his fingers roam further down between my legs. "InuYasha?", I said softly and he lifted his head then and looked up at me.

"Yeah?", he grinned lazily, turning over on his tummy and moved his hand away, folding both hands under his chin; placing them on my tummy to look at me with big-puppy dog eyes. I smiled at him. He was a contradiction in terms in every way to me. His 'stage persona' being intense, direct and professional even when having his fun. Then his playful side, shown more intently when we were alone, but sometimes when we were out for some fun too. And his very sexy side, the way he loved to be in control, but the way he loved to be touched and kissed and taken care of at the same time. What a lucky woman that would have him for her very own for the rest of her life!, I thought to myself as he looked at me.

"You're gonna ask me something?", he smiled again and I nodded. "Yeah... well... ummm... do you ever get tired of well... when we...? I mean, not just ME... but do you ever get tired... ah shit, InuYasha!", I blushed and ruffled his hair to hide my embarrassment. "Ask me, Kagome, anything... anything at all, especially about sex..", he laughed and kissed my tummy. "Ok, fine. Do you ever, have you ever gotten tired of sex? You seem so ready, so UP for it all the time...", I said and he burst out with a loud laugh, startling me. "Great choice of words, Kagome...", he grinned and I groaned and put a hand over my eyes. "I didn't MEAN it that way, InuYasha!", I mumbled as he continued to laugh. "I know, sweetheart, I know but it was priceless. Now, let's see..", he murmured and kissed my tummy once again. "You're asking me if I ever get tired of sex. Let me answer it by using JUST us as the example. I don't like bringing anybody else into a discussion about sex when I'm with you...", he smiled.

"No, I never tire of it with you. I told you before and maybe I should be ashamed of this, but the very first time I spied you at that restaurant, when we danced on that little wooden dance floor, I knew somehow, that you and I would bed each other. I knew if I was patient and worked things out, that someday, somehow we would taste each other, feel of each other and love each other... and was I wrong?", he grinned. "Nope, you weren't WRONG, InuYasha but...", I said and my heart fluttered in my chest.

He lifted himself up a bit, his hands on either side of me now peering at my face. "Why do I feel like this is going to turn into something I won't like?", he asked me and his face grew thoughtful. "Damned if we don't need to get you out of that house of yours and to a place of your own... This is crazy! Everytime you go home and you've been with me for awhile, Kikyo gets to you. So just tell me, Kagome, once and for all just tell me what the fuck she's saying to you. TELL ME!", he shouted and I slid my legs up against my chest, my arms wrapped around me, and waited for him to finish his tirade with me.

"I'm sorry, Kagome. I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just... your sister makes this very complicated between us. And I know, it's my fault too. I just want to be with YOU though I KNOW this, in my heart. I just don't think you believe me or trust me, or maybe you do while we're together but when we're apart you start doubting me again. And what happens when I go out on the road again? What happens then? Can't you just trust me?", he asked and slid around on the sofa, facing me, pulling his arms around me.

"Talk to me, Kagome. Tell me what you need to say...", he said and put his forehead against my own. I closed my eyes. One perfect night, to be ruined by me just because my head couldn't shut out the ugly things my sister brought to fore within me.

He leaned back and gave me room, and I lifted my eyes to his. I hoped he would understand, was all.

"Didn't we go a little fast? Shouldn't we have waited before we made love, InuYasha?", I asked him and he blinked and looked away for a split second, then back to me. "I don't mean that I never wanted it, that I don't cherish every little thing about that night but... If I knew that I was only satisfying some baser instinct within you, just the need for sex with someone, I'd just die because I promised myself I'd never be with anyone that didn't love me, that didn't want to cherish and protect that love.", I said.

"You don't think I love you...", he stated and looked hard at me. "How could you?", I asked him. "Well, answer me this... Do you love ME, Kagome?", he asked softly and I looked down. Yes, I loved him, with all my heart. Silly girl that I was but did I really want HIM to know that? I decided I'd be honest. We WERE talking here so I looked back up at him and swallowed past the lump in my throat the size of Japan.

"I love you, InuYasha. I love you fast, hard and furious. I love you slow, sweet and intense. Yes, InuYasha... I love you...", I said. I waited, not sure what he would say, my heart nearly dropping to my knees and still I waited, not daring to take my eyes away from him. "God.", he whispered and dropped onto his knees on the floor, maneuvering himself until he was in front of where I sat on the sofa.

"You love me so much, do you?", he whispered. "Yes, at least that's what I think it is, InuYasha. I've never really been in love, never felt like THIS for sure.", I said. "And how would you be feeling, Kagome?", he asked and I took a breath. "Like a different person, free, easy, sexy, daring. My heart thundering in my ears every time I know I'm going to see you, willing to push my family aside to have you in my life, willing and wanting to sneak out and make love with you somewhere, anywhere just to have you, wanting pleasure from you and giving you pleasure as well. InuYasha, maybe it's because it's the first time for me, maybe that explains it all.", I said hopefully, lest I had run him off with my intensity.

"NO, Kagome, that's not it. And if it is, it's not ALL of it...", he said. "Oh?", I answered in a small voice, ready for him to tell me how wrong I was, that I should've just enjoyed the feelings, let them go with the flow. I'd gotten too damned caught up in him...

"Kagome, look at me. And don't be scared or shy...", he said and his finger hooked under my jaw and pulled it up and forward to look into his eyes. "Do you know how much it means to me for you to say that?", he asked. "I was so afraid it was just ME. And I had to play it cool in case you only wanted me for the sex, in case you weren't interested in me as a boyfriend. And yes, I suppose we did move very fast but, Kagome, if you feel right about it, if it makes you smile and you can take the memory out and let it warm you from time to time then who cares? who matters but US?', he asked.

"Kikyo, your sister... Damn, this is hard... If it were any other girl it would be hard but because she is your sister it makes it damned near impossible. And the way she's handling it, it doesn't make it better so it's always gonna be touchy with us on this subject... always.", he said.

"I know that, InuYasha but you don't understand. All my life, she's done this to me, put me down, thrown little sly comments my way until I've thought nothing of it, just taken it as that was how it was supposed to be. I'll never look like her, InuYasha, never. I'll never be what she could be to you, someone to take and show off. That's just not me! You talk now like it doesn't matter but obviously at some point in your life, it did. And it really wasn't a passing fling. It lasted, at least for half a year. If it was so wrong, then why did it last like that?", I asked.

"She says you're using me. That fucking you so soon just shows that... that I need to step aside and let you both work out your problems. And InuYasha, God help me, if that is what it is then please tell me and let me save face, please... don't let it drag on and have me love you until I couldn't bear it without you... please..", I said.

"God damn it!", he swore softly and looked away from me to a point over my shoulder. I could see the wheels turning in his mind and I waited, wondering what he would say and not just a tiny bit worried.

"First let me say, it's a fucking shame how she thinks she's far superior to you. And even more of a shame that you believe it. You're NOT far beneath her, Kagome. You know what I saw and what I heard when you two were together. Hell, even before you came back to Japan from the States?," he asked me. I shook my head and waited...

"She WANTS to be YOU!. You think it's the other way but she's very jealous of you. And when you came back all grown up and beautiful it scared the shit  out of her. She became a very ugly person inside. That's what I saw...", he said.

"And you're wrong, Kagome. I'd take you anywhere I ever took her. I'd be chuffed to have you on my arm, believe me. I'm the envy of many now! Just think back to the bar tonight!", he smiled and tugged on my lower lip. "Why can't you see your beauty? You know what? I think you can! I think you dressed for me tonight and looked at yourself and were amazed but then, you let Kikyo into your head and you lose that sparkle I saw back there... that sparkle I saw when you undressed for me tonight... Baby, don't LOSE it!", he said.

"It's true. I did stay with her for six months. I did like her very much at first but it didn't take long to realize what she wanted me for... only, I didn't have the time to break it with her quickly. Please, believe me. I never wanted to hurt her but then she started pushing me, pushing for an engagement, for more time, for a ring for WHATEVER. And I knew it couldn't last. And what proved it to me was YOU. Being with you and seeing how it could be with someone like you. And I wanted that more than anything. Damned why did she have to be your sister?", he said lowly and I smiled at him.

"I'd never use you, Kagome. God, I fought myself the first night I kissed you, fought myself hard... I wanted you even then. Do you know how much shit e I put myself thru the day I brought you back home after we'd made love at the cabin? I was afraid I'd lost you for good, that you would get home and think about what I'd done, taking your virginity and you'd hate me. But I needed you and if I had to beg to get you to spend more time with me then that was OK. I'd do it.", he said.

"I'm in love with YOU so hard! And if you can't believe it... well, I'll give you time. And I'll prove it to you. I'll show you over and over again, in so many ways but I know what's in MY heart and I won't let you push that away. But Kagome, I have to have you do something for ME.", he said. "OK..", I answered softly. "Try to believe, know you are my girlfriend, know it's you I'm missing out on the road and know it's you I want to be with. No questions asked.", he said. "Ok", I said again and he smiled. "Is that all I get... just OK?", he said softly. "Yeah. Right now...", I said and he nodded. "Then that's it. I love you...", he said and surrounded me with his arms, holding me close. "I love you too...", I mumbled against his shoulder and heard him breathe deeply and nod his head.

The doorbell rang then and I jumped out of my skin. "Here..", he said softly and threw me his shirt to pull on as I reached for my panties, pulling them on quickly and grabbing our clothes that lay in a heap on the floor. The doorbell rang once again and he stood pulling up his jeans over his boxers and frowning. "Who in FUCK could that be? I should just ignore it!", he complained. I stuffed the clothes into my bag and sat down on the sofa, my knees pulled around me, a soft blanket across them.

He was bare chested, his hair tousled as he opened the door and I heard him swear as he started to close it. When I heard the next bit of conversation coming from the other side of the door I knew why...

It was my sister...

It was Kikyo...

--------------------

A/N: Review… Reviews make me happy! ^_^

Maggz