The Heavens Open

by Stormkpr

The third book in my trilogy. The X-men have retreated to space and will attempt to save mutantkind and all of earth. Not suitable for children. COMPLETED

25. Chapter 25

THE HEAVENS OPEN

By Stormkeeper (stormkpr@usa.net)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Welcome to the penultimate chapter of this saga! I hope you enjoy it. -- Stormkeeper

*****************

Scott plodded back to his room. Several months ago he had vowed to work on friendships, on making connections with members of the team other than his wife. He had to admit to almost complete failure on this goal. Although he definitely considered Hank McCoy a friend – as he always had – Scott knew he hadn't really formed serious connections with any other members of the team. He just narrowly avoided a physical fight with Gambit and, months earlier, had found himself in a similar position with Northstar. `If only people saw things my way….'

"It's not going to be easy," Jean was saying, referring to the task Scott now had before him.

"I suppose it's not going to help to mention to him the fact that I didn't get enough sleep last night."

"I wouldn't bring it up right away – you don't want to seem like you're making excuses," Jean counseled. "Although it does help explain why you came off a little strong."

"It wasn't `a little'," Scott admitted sheepishly. He had gone over the entire scenario with Jean, and had even allowed her to "replay" it via their mindlink. As much as Scott would despise admitting it, he **had** been the instigator. Gambit's anger in the situation was not entirely unwarranted, even though he'd been a little too eager to take up the fight too.

"That may be true," Jean said, getting up to stand behind Scott and gently rub his shoulders. "But you have to give yourself a break, too. So you came off too hard on one of your team members. We all make mistakes and have off days. Don't beat yourself up over it." She was overwhelmed with another rush of love for her husband. He wasn't perfect, no; he had his flaws just as everyone else did. But he tried his best and he was such a humble, good -- and under- appreciated -- leader for the team.

"I won't. I can't wait until I get the apologizing over and done with, though." Scott felt Jean's surge of love through their mindlink. Her support would make the apology bearable. He knew that she loved him always, even when (and perhaps, **because**) he was less-than-perfect.

Jean was quiet for a bit. She then said, absentmindedly, "No one really understands the burdens of command. It's so easy to criticize actions of a leader and praise seems to be so much harder to give." She then answered his unasked question, "And I **don't** think it's you, Scott. I truly think that no one has any idea what being the leader is like."

He shrugged off her consoling words. "Maybe. But I did mess up, and I have to face it."

****************

The natives decided to have another party, this one on the day after the arrival of the Vengeance's crew.

Alexander used his powers to create some more food for the natives. Though Storm had not wanted anyone to advertise their powers, it was too late already. A drunken Psylocke had thrilled the natives the night before with her telekinesis. (That was, apparently, before she had thrilled several of the native men with her lovemaking skills.) Following suit, Thyme had demonstrated her ability to manipulate energy fields though, as Storm silently noted, Thyme was under-trained and her powers rusty at best.

Alexander did not create the food in front of the natives, but he brought it to them. He'd sought Storm's counsel beforehand, but she shrugged off his worries. `We've tampered in their development so much now, what will it matter if we introduce a few grains or vegetables they don't have?' she said to herself. `We're beyond trying to minimize the cultural contamination at this point.' The natives enjoyed the food, and deemed it cause for another celebration.

"Wow, do all these people do is party?" Marrow asked.

Ignoring her lover's bad grammar, Mirage smiled. "They sure know how to enjoy life." Just like the previous evening, they now found themselves sitting around a campfire while eating, talking, and laughing took place in the backdrop.

"Are these people…so they're like similar to your ancestors, right? They're kinda like the Navajo?"

Mirage looked at Marrow. Marrow was sincerely interested in the topic. She could tell from Marrow's expression and, besides, Mirage knew well that Marrow was not one to make conversation merely for the sake of it. "Well, there are similarities, definitely. In some ways, at least. The Navajo definitely respect the earth as these people respect their planet. They respect their elders too, like these people do. Navajos do ritual dances, but I'm not sure if Nurya's people are dancing because they consider it a ritual or if they do it because it's fun. Both of our peoples definitely enjoy laughter too."

"There must be a lot of differences, though, too."

"Oh yeah, definitely. The attitudes towards sex here are kinda…."

Dani broke off mid-sentence. A group of musicians had just struck up a tune. "Oh!" she breathed. "They played this song yesterday, too!" The melody was infectious, and her body was suffused with the irresistible urge to dance. Energy and adrenaline pumped through her. She had always felt this way about music. She'd always been gripped by its magical ability to make her want to move her body, and the exhilaration she'd feel dancing to a beloved song. Her need to dance to a tuneful song was almost as much of an addiction as alcohol had been to her parents. Her eyes grew wide and only a few seconds passed before she leapt to her feet. "I gotta dance to this! Are you comin'?"

"I think I'll sit this one out," Marrow replied. She always felt so awkward dancing. She'd never learned how. She mostly enjoyed listening to music, but didn't understand Mirage's love for moving to it.

So Marrow sat back and watched Mirage dance with the natives. The natives definitely made good music, with instruments resembling drums, flutes, harps, and even a rudimentary guitar or two. Marrow tapped her toe to the beat, thinking of how easy drumming looked and wondering if she could do it. She then doubted herself, guessing that a lot of things looked easier than they actually were. But thoughts of a drumming hobby were soon replaced by the images of Mirage dancing.

Mirage's graceful and sinewy body moved to the music. Marrow guessed that she was not even consciously thinking about where to place which arm or foot. Yet her whole body – hips, head and shoulders, arms and legs just kept smoothly repositioning themselves in accordance with the music. Dani just seemed captivated by the moment, by the beats and melodies emanating from the musicians' instruments.

Marrow watched her, her heart pounding with love. She was mesmerized at watching a mesmerized Dani moving.

After several songs, the natives switched to a slower-paced tune. The instrumentation consisted of only one stringed instrument, one flute, and an older woman singing incomprehensible words. Marrow observed couples – most of them opposite-sex but a few same-sex (though it was never really easy to tell; men and women dressed alike here and the males weren't much taller than the females) – getting up to dance together, holding each other in their arms.

"C'mon, Marrow," Dani eagerly gestured as she walked towards her.

Marrow wrapped her arms over her chest. "No, I can't….I have no idea how to----"

Mirage held out her hand and Marrow took it. "It's easy," Mirage encouraged. Marrow got to her feet and stood next to her. "Just put your hands here. And here. And step together, side to side, like this."

Marrow gulped as she stiffly placed her arms where Dani had specified. She mimicked her footsteps, and they were on their way. Marrow stepped on Mirage's toes more than once. She jerked her head over her shoulder, wondering whether Thyme, Psylocke, or someone else from the ship might be watching her embarrassing movements.

Dani gently touched Marrow's chin and moved it around towards hers. "It's okay," she whispered. "You're doing fine. Just listen to the music and don't think."

Meanwhile, Psylocke sat by the fire enjoying a bowl of meat stew. The flavors were intense; even the seasonings and herbs seemed to jump off the spoon onto her tastebuds.

She had decided to begin this day with the natives with a round of mind-reading. Her plan had been to tap into the minds of different natives, one by one. She didn't have any particular goal other than fending off boredom and trying to determine which of the men would be the best lovers. Those she had bedded the night before had been excellent, however. Many of the men had been stopping by, offering her a gift consisting of flowers strung together. She smiled and telepathically responded with a "maybe", in answer to the question that the gift of flowers asked.

Reading the natives' minds wasn't taxing or painful, but it was making Betsy's head hurt, and she struggled to realize why. The people were so **different.** Despite all the tragedies their tribe had encountered, none of them seemed filled with anger or hatred or a desire for vengeance. `It has to be a façade. Nurya herself said that the people changed. It can't be for real,' she said to herself.

But as Psylocke probed mind after mind, whether it be that of a child, adult, or senior and whether it be male or female, they all seemed to have the same sense of peace and calmness. They all seemed eager to enjoy life. She probed further, delving into people's memories, wanting to know whether they experienced anger and conflict within their tribe. The results were astonishing. Conflict and misunderstandings occurred all the time, but how they dealt with such things was radically different than the means Psylocke was used to.

Psylocke decided she'd had enough. She smiled at the next man who offered her the gift of flowers strung in a ring shape. She thought she remembered him from the night before, and she rose from her seat. He led her towards his hut.

****************

"I just wanted to say I was sorry," Cyclops managed to get the words out.

A few hours after their altercation, he had left Gambit a text message on his communicator, asking when they might get together for a meeting. Gambit suggested his own quarters. Cyclops had been flustered to find Rogue sitting inside the room as well, reading a book. He didn't comment on her presence, assuming it was there to make him more uncomfortable.

"I really overreacted. I guess I was stressed because I didn't get a lot of sleep the night before. So I just wanted to offer an apology."

Inwardly, Gambit smiled. As soon as he'd received Cyclops's message, he assumed that an apology was in his future and pondered the best course of action.

"I get why you were angry, but I don't t'ink you needed to yell. Or to get so angry."

"I know." Admitting to a wrong-doing was excruciatingly difficult. Cyclops tried to keep from getting angry once more. He tried to force a smile. "I'm working on not blowing my top over little things. Sometimes I go back to my quarters and see that Christopher has strewn his toys all over the floor, and I need to remind myself not to get mad." Scott was now completely lost as to why he brought that up. He noticed that Rogue had looked up from her book for an instant before lowering her head once more. "I guess I like for everything to be in place. But in this case, I was really worried about the amount of dilithium we're using, since we have no idea when we'll ever get out of here. Hank and I ran into another roadblock last night when we were working."

"I heard you guys had some troubles. What's the story on dat?"

"Well, we'd thought we were on to something." Scott then went on to give a highly technical description of their proposed solution. He concluded it by saying, "We realized, at some ungodly hour, it just wasn't going to work. By then I could barely keep my eyes open. Anyway, it will take us days to fix the interload emitter again."

"We know you an' Hank are doin' your best. T'ank you for what you're doin'." Gambit magnanimously extended a hand. He had played his part smoothly and came out on top, he knew. "I accept your apology."

Scott shook his hand, eager to get out of there. After exchanging a pleasantry or two, he left their quarters.

"Thank you, Remy," Rogue smiled, putting her book down and approaching Remy. "I'll always treasure gettin' to see Cyke takin' down a notch or two."

The two held hands and giggled conspiratorially. Both Rogue and Gambit knew, of course, that it was beneath them to so enjoy seeing their leader humbled. But they had been genuinely angry at him for his behavior, and had to admit that the scene had been a guilty pleasure for them. Rogue felt a twinge of guilt towards Jean and their friendship, but after the way Scott had talked to Remy, she still allowed herself to enjoy his apology.

***************

After an enjoyable night, Psylocke woke up on a soft mat inside the man's hut. She couldn't remember the name of her companion, but after a little gentle probing of his mind, she recalled that he was named Dek. She ambled to the bathing area and quickly washed herself, marveling that these primitive people had such solid bathing facilities. She admired their attention to hygiene. Psylocke was just wondering what to do about brushing her teeth when Dek appeared, his hair tousled from slumber.

//Chew on this,// he told Psylocke, handing her a sprig from a bush.

She took it from him, as she read his mind and learned that these people had been using a crisp part of these bushes for centuries --- as toothbrushes. She told herself there had to be something to it; the elderly, such as Nurya, had most of their teeth. The sprig had a minty, refreshing taste that was as good as any toothpaste the Pirates had replicated.

//Thanks, Dek.//

//Would you like to stay for breakfast? They're preparing it and you're always welcome to join us.//

She accepted his offer. `It's not like I have anywhere else where I need to be,' she told herself. She didn't worry about her ship. The Vengeance was nestled nearby and cloaked; somehow Psylocke knew the ship would be perfectly safe whether or not any of the other Pirates had spent the night inside of it.

The natives' individual huts did not have much in the way of cooking supplies, but groups of people would prepare meals in a few designated areas. Psylocke soon found herself sitting on the ground in a circle with a group, eating a spicy stew. She wished for something more bland and more traditional for her morning meal – tea and buttery scones or a biscuit with jam would have been nice -- but this was not bad either. Her stomach adjusted.

`These people are too trusting,' Betsy said to herself. `They are sitting here with me as if I were an old friend. I cannot believe they don't show more caution after everything that happened.' She continued to marvel at their behavior as she enjoyed her meal.

Dek then spoke to her, not telepathically but using his mouth – the normal way. Of course Psylocke did not understand a word of it, but she did detect her name – Betsy – tacked on to the end of the string of words he let out.

//What is it, Dek?// she responded telepathically.

//I asked if you would like to take a walk with me. There are many beautiful places to see.//

Psylocke agreed to it. She had nothing better to do, and she had fond memories of the previous evening. Maybe Dek would be up for another bout soon.

So the two began to walk, Dek leading the way and pointing out his favorite places. Psylocke quietly observed. No doubt, this place – embellished with lush trees and studded with wild flowers -- was beautiful, though it didn't quite hold a candle to An'zhina's exotic and unusual layout. An'zhina was more like a stunning tourist resort whereas the Paradise Planet was like a rustic campground. Both were gorgeous in their own way and, as Psylocke was starting to feel, preferable to a metallic starship any day.

//Were you around when the invaders attacked?// Psylocke asked, after a few moments of silence. Making "small talk" had never been Psylocke's forte, and she was interested in hearing more about the invasion that the X-men had stunted.

//Yes.// Dek replied. //I am from one of the groups that was attacked by the invading people, and they raided my village. My parents and brother were killed, and my sister was taken by them. I never saw her again.//

Psylocke paused, surprised at how casually Dek spoke – or, rather, thought – those words. //My condolences.// she said.

//Are those who arrived with you all that is left of your tribe? Where is your family?//

//I don't have one.// She eagerly changed the topic. Psylocke had no desire to talk about her roots on earth. It wasn't necessarily a painful subject for her, but it wasn't one she cared to dwell on. Instead, she delved a little deeper into Dek's mind, expecting to find layers of repressed anguish and rage. Startled, Psylocke realized that Dek was as he appeared – serene and happy.

//How is it possible?// she asked.

//How is what possible?//

//Your mind. You – you're not filled with hate.// She cut herself off from communicating any more. It was amazing – Dek cared naught for vengeance, nor did he live his life in misery or sorrow. He did miss his family but that did not prevent him from his love of life. Psylocke then chided herself for being surprised. Dek's countenance was in line with that of all the other minds she had scanned the night before. They all were like him. No matter what they had lived through, none of them were enveloped by bitterness or grief.

//How?// she asked. //How do you do it?//

He seemed to understand what she was asking. He took her hand. //Come this way. I will show you.//

Psylocke and Dek walked in silence for nearly ten minutes. Finally, they reached what Dek wanted to show her. She had heard the sound of rushing water for a few minutes now. //This is how.// he said pointing.

Psylocke found herself facing the tall, breathtaking waterfall. Ice-blue water cascaded down a steep drop, its foam enlivening a gentle pool at the bottom. Colorful fish swam in the pool around solid rocks that peeked upwards. Dewey branches of strong trees framed the picturesque scene, and several birds fluttered around. The sounds of the forest seemed magnified here, and they were soft and reassuring tones. Psylocke took a deep breath, trying to inhale the fresh and earthy place.

Gorgeous as the scene was, Psylocke told herself, it was only a waterfall. Then she realized it. Dek's tranquility had nothing to do with the waterfall itself. It was the way the natives lived, the beliefs and values they carried in their minds which allowed them to appreciate things such as the waterfall. 'Appreciate' was not even the right word, she realized. `Revere' might have been a better term. The waterfall, and what it stood for, was a guide for how they lived. They took their sustenance from it and it allowed them to love their lives.

Dek seemed to realize that he need not say much more. After standing in awe for several moments, they wordlessly headed back for the village.

*****************

The temperature outside of Freedom was starting to decline again. We still enjoyed the outdoors, but we had to make sure we bundled up well. A few times we wanted to take canoe trips but found the lake half-frozen over.

One afternoon, Jean-Paul had been flying me around outside. It was a diversion and a way to kill boredom if nothing else. I loved being flown, looking down and seeing the scenery go by so quickly as the air whooshed by.

He set us down in a small grassy area, surrounded by trees. "We don't want to go much further in that direction," he said, gesturing. "It's not too far from where Jean said some humanoids live."

"Wouldn't want them to look up and see the strangest-looking bird ever," I smiled.

He returned my smile. "My arms were getting tired too," he admitted.

"Even the mechanical arm?" I asked, referring to the arm that the Endarians had replaced.

"That one not so much, but the other one is tired."

"Sorry," I said, still grinning. "I'll lay off the dessert."

Jean-Paul playfully tapped my abdomen. "Nonsense. You're slim and trim as ever."

"With the way Cyke has been training us, it's no wonder," I added.

I lowered myself to the ground and sat there, resting my back against the stump of a big tree. Jean-Paul moved to join me. He put one of his arms around my shoulder, and drew back as a small tree limb scratched against his neck. We repositioned ourselves.

Jean-Paul then reached, gently touching my chin and bringing it towards his. He kissed me. I returned the kiss for a while. Then I slumped my head to the side, resting it on his shoulder. We silently remained that way for a while.

"I'm so glad things are back to normal between us," I said, breaking the silence. And, well, "things" weren't exactly the best they had ever been between us, but at least our standstill was a thing of the past and we were together.

"Me too. Bobby," he began, turning towards me in such a way that I had to move my head from its comfortable position. "Let's get married!"

"Married?" I asked. Once again, my brain did a double-take at one of Jean-Paul's ideas. I wasn't sure, but it sounded as if he had spontaneously come up with this. It didn't seem like he'd been mulling over it.

"Yes," he said, reaching for one of my hands. "We should make a commitment to each other. In public. We should solidify our relationship."

I touched my fingertips to my temple and rubbed just slightly. "That's a big step….." I began.

Jean-Paul looked disappointed. "I thought you would jump at the idea."

"Jean-Paul, Jean-Paul….you know I love you. I—I just kinda think we need more time here." My heart was racing at all I wanted to communicate. "We have to sort things out. I mean, one day you're telling me you got the hots for Gambit. Then you come up with the whole baby idea. Then we have a cold war. Now we're back together and you want to get married! Dare I brace myself for what comes next?" During my 'speech', I tried to sound as light-hearted and non-accusatory as I could. And, truly, I did not want to come across heavy-handed. I just needed to remind him that we'd been on sort of a roller coaster lately, and this didn't seem like the best time to be making a life-long commitment.

"To me, it is simple. We love each other. We know that we're going to be together for a long time and maybe –hopefully -- for as long as we're both alive. So what would be the benefit of waiting any longer?"

"Well, I don't want to get married while we're stuck on this godforsaken planet, that's for sure. We have no wedding supplies, and Cyclops yells at anyone who spends a milligram more dilithium than we're supposed to." The incident a couple days ago with Gambit was fresh on my mind. "Besides, I'm not getting married without Professor X in attendance."

"We don't need to have the ceremony now. When we get back to An'zhina. That would be a good time to have it. But we can get engaged now." He sounded eager, almost as if he wanted to have it as soon as we reached An'zhina, and as if returning to An'zhina was a feasible possibility anyway.

I tilted my head down into one of my hands, frustrated at myself. I didn't think my last words really helped communicate what I was trying to get across. "Jean-Paul…it's too soon for us to get married. I agree with what you said---I think, in all likelihood, we will be together for a very long time. I hope that when we're old and our hair is white we'll still be together. But we still need more time before we get married. Rushing into something when we've known each other for less than two years isn't a good thing. Hank and Panda got married less than a year after they met, and they're having problems."

I sighed and reached to hold one of his hands as I continued. "There are some days that I feel like I don't know you. Like what we went through with the argument over having a baby. And that time we spent apart. Bringing up marriage at a time like this….I just can't see doing it now. Jean-Paul, I'm worried about you. When is the last time you saw Kurt?"

"At breakfast this morning."

With that, we turned to face each other and just giggled. "Man, that sounds like something I'd say!" I exclaimed. We laughed more. Me, I was laughing out of relief more than anything else. I was partly fearing that he'd be so upset over my refusal that he'd start another fight and we'd be in for another period of separation. But he seemed to be doing okay as evidenced by his attempt at humor.

"I meant saw him for therapy purposes," I stated, even though my meaning was obvious now.

"Oh, is that what you meant?" he joked. He then added, sighing, "I don't know, Robere. It's been a long time."

"Do you think you might benefit from another session with him?"

He smiled. "I see that this is a purely rhetorical question." Then he was silent for several moments. He looked down at our entwined hands. "I will consider it."

"Thank you." I gave a small smile. "Um…you know I really love you, don't you? You know you have me wrapped around your pinkie."

He reached for my hand and kissed it. "I know," he said, though he fell silent shortly afterwards and his smile had disappeared.

"I mean, please don't consider it a refusal. Of your proposal." I then added, "Can we consider it a request for a postponement instead?"

"That's good enough for me," he said, as he got to his feet. "Come on. We should go back to Freedom now."

He scooped me up into his arms, and up into the sky we went.

****************

Marrow was never one to make friends easily – or at all, really. The social graces were not an area she had been gifted in; understandable, given the circumstances under which she had grown up. She never sought out friends, but one of the older natives had been intrigued by Marrow's jutting bones, and since their initial conversation, they found themselves talking often.

The Pirates spent most of their days with the natives, and were even growing used to their unusual means of communication. Marrow's new friend was named Opaka. Opaka was one of the shortest natives; Marrow sometimes felt that she was going to trip over her. Opaka had more wrinkles on her face than Marrow could count, and her weathered hands felt like sandpaper. Marrow wondered if this was what it was like to have a grandmother.

//I can't believe that we've only been here like…five days or so.// Marrow said to Opaka. //Psylocke's so different.//

//Psylocke seems to be enjoying herself here. When she came here, she seemed like a woman who did not know how to enjoy herself.//

Marrow and Psylocke had not had too many conversations since their arrival on the Paradise Planet, but during their last one, Psylocke had made no mention of packing up the Vengeance and hunting down more FOH ships. Any references to the near-term and short-term future had involved remaining on the paradise planet.

That had come as a relief to Marrow. She would be content to stay here forever, cozied up in a tent with Dani Moonstar, making love and sleeping outside. The two women had done so on the past few nights. This morning, they had woken up to rain. Mirage got out her flute and Marrow danced in the rain, wearing torn sheets and dodging puddles. When the two women were a muddy mess, they ran towards the Vengeance and jumped in the shower together.

*****************

"Who wouldda thought it, Hank? In the span of like over one year, you and I each receiving a marriage proposal?"

Hank returned his best friend's smile, piqued that Bobby remembered the fact that Panda had been the one to propose to Hank. He looked at Bobby and had to agree with his sentiment. "It was quite a surprise. Bobby, am I to infer -- from the manner in which you introduced this matter into the conversation – that you did not accept Northstar's offer?"

"I didn't accept it. I told him that I need more time, but that I thought someday in the future we probably would get married."

"I am impressed with your wisdom and maturity." A stray thought entered Hank's mind: `He is wiser than I, in some ways. It is a good thing that he did not make the same mistake I did.' Hank quashed the fragment down.

Bobby shrugged. "Well, like I told Jean-Paul, there's no hurry. We got plenty of time, and now just doesn't feel like the right time to me."

"Do you thus believe that someday in the future you will exchange vows?"

"Well, I guess so. You know, Hank, to be honest…..I'd never considered marriage a remote possibility at all. When I was growing up, being gay meant you didn't do things like get married or have children. That stuff was for you breeders."

"Times have changed, to use a cliche. The law on An'zhina prohibits discrimination based on sex and sexual orientation. You and Jean-Paul could marry and it would be recognized on An'zhina."

"Yeah, you're right. **If** we ever get back to An'zhina, which is another story anyway." He paused. "Jean-Paul really took me by surprise. Again. Just like when he brought up his plan for us to have a baby. I didn't see either of those things coming."

Hank stroked the fur under his chin. "Based on these examples, I wonder if perhaps Northstar is experiencing a desire for some stability in his life."

"What do you mean?" Bobby looked up, intrigued.

"When I think of marriage and producing offspring, I think of the desire some people have to 'nest.' To create a haven from the chaos of life. I wonder if perhaps Jean-Paul is reacting to the copious amounts of turmoil and change in his life over the past few years." He quickly added, "Not that I do not also believe that he truly loves you and wishes to make a public commitment to you as well." When Bobby remained silent, Hank continued, "However, if Northstar is largely reacting to a desire for stability, then I applaud your refusal even more. You do not want to do what may be the right thing for the wrong reason."

Bobby shook his head. "Jean-Paul's **got** to get back into therapy!"

************

A few days later, Dani Moonstar found herself in sickbay. Alexander was examining the rash on her arm as Storm looked on.

"I do not understand," Storm was saying. "Hank did a thorough scan before the X-men landed on this planet. He said it was Class M, and the surroundings weren't dangerous to us." Storm could not help but to love their surroundings. The mental fog that had plagued her since her run-in with Psylocke had finally lifted during the few days she had spent on the Paradise Planet.

"Hey, don't worry," Mirage said. "It doesn't hurt. It's just a little itchy and red."

Alexander finished running his tests. "Well, I can't claim to be an expert on this, but I don't think it's a cause for concern now," he concluded. "Your skin had an allergic reaction to something you touched, but there's no sign that this is going to spread. I want to keep my eye on this, but I expect it to go away in a few days."

"Good enough for me," Mirage smiled. "Hey, I think I know the area where I might've gotten it from. Marrow and I were doing a lot of hiking yesterday. I got real touchy-feely with a lot of the planets and bushes."

"We might need to go there and test some of the foliage, if your rash doesn't go away. And if they are indeed the cause of it. Has Marrow had any signs of a rash?"

"Nope. Or if she has, she hasn't told me."

Marrow herself was approaching sick bay, unbeknownst to Mirage, Storm, and Alexander. Upon hearing her name, she stopped outside of the infirmary and just listened.

"I think I might know the area where you and Marrow hiked," Storm said. "Was it west of the village?"

"Um, you mean that way?" Mirage asked, pointing. Upon seeing Storm's nod, she continued, "Yeah, past that big lake and the field with the tall, yellow flowers? That's it."

"It's so beautiful here," Alexander said.

"Beautiful as it is…I'd give anything to be back with the X-men," Dani said. "I miss them **so** much. I love it here, but I want to be back with the X-men." The sorrow and longing in her voice pierced the air. It was evident that she was far less concerned about the rash on her arm than she was over her desire to be with her fellow X-men.

"I feel the same way," Storm said. "Even though Wolverine is not with them now, it just kills me to think that the X-men are stranded on a planet in this very solar system. And we cannot be with them. Our family." Her hopes of returning to the X-men grew even more remote. During a rare visit to the Vengeance, she engaged the sensors and discovered that one of the impenetrable magnetic field storms was preparing to move in at some point during the next few days. This storm was projected to last for weeks, or even months.

Dani looked down at her rash. "It kills me too. I can't even think of getting back into space on another Pirates mission now. I just **have** to be back with the X-men or I'll…..Well, I don't know what. Or I'll go crazy, I guess."

Marrow turned and silently walked back down the hallway.

**************

Marrow sat facing Opaka, sipping the bitter tea Opaka shared with her. The evening was a cooler one and Marrow found the tea surprisingly soothing. Somewhere outside, Mirage was playing her flute. Marrow couldn't help but to note that half of her songs lately sounded like laments.

//Opaka…did you ever like….love someone but wonder whether they'd be better off without you?// Marrow asked awkwardly.

The answer was short and to the point. //No.//

Marrow traced the rim of the cup with a fingertip. A miniscule bone was growing out of that fingertip and it gently scraped the cup. She wondered whether Opaka's succinct answer provided her with everything she needed to know right there.

//But we do have a story passed down to us through the ages. It tells of a young boy who is captivated by a beautiful bird which sings sweet songs. He rigs an elaborate trap so that he can have her and her music all to himself. He traps her.// Opaka paused. //Can you guess how the story ends?//

//Yeah.// Though not one to use or understand metaphor, Marrow understood. //He lets her go.//

//Yes. He realizes that the captive bird is not happy even though she still sings. He sets her free.//

Marrow nodded and looked straight ahead. Opaka looked at Marrow and thought she might have seen a tear forming in one of her eyes.

****************

Psylocke loved the open spaces. No cars, no irritating noise, and no concrete or pavement anywhere. Just open fields engulfed by green forests and sparkling lakes. People playing music as the sun set, people dancing and beating drums outside as the day turned into night.

Most natives, she observed, seemed to work for about two to three hours per day, performing such tasks as animal husbandry, construction of huts, making clothing, and the like. The rest of the day was spent cooking, eating, talking, laughing, dancing, making love. None of the women were mad at Psylocke for having sex with the men; a few thanked her for teaching the guys new things.

The list of reasons for leaving the Paradise Planet was dwindling, in Psylocke's mind.

*****************

"Remember how it was when we first got together, Remy?" Rogue asked.

The couple were relaxing languidly in bed after a long and slow lovemaking session. The days on the planet seemed to stretch on forever. They had been engaging in one of their favorite ways to pass the time. Rogue and Gambit curled together under the covers; he lay on his back and she on her side, draped over him. Neither felt like getting up to dress, so they did not. Gambit had been mentally replaying every moment of their lovemaking, trying to savor it mentally. He was humored to realize that she'd been thinking of past lovemaking too, only her mind was farther back in the past.

"'Course I remember it, chere. Vividly."

"I'll never forgit how it was when we finally started makin' love. Even though we couldn't touch, we still did it. I remember that every day I'd look forward to what we'd do that evenin'. Every day was a little different, but I was always excited, and full of pleasure. And a little scared too, but mostly just eager."

He absentmindedly ran a few fingers through her hair. "Aww, chere. I'm glad you felt dat way. I did too. I'd t'ink durin' the day of a new way we could do it dat night."

"An' sugar, you came up with a thousand ways! You were a genius."

He chuckled. "Well, I had a real interes' in my research."

"I remember bein' sloppy durin' a few trainin' sessions 'cause I just wanted to get into bed with you. Remember that time we huddled in the hallway together in the middle of the afternoon and debating doin' it then or whether we should wait for the night?"

"Yeah, we had a long session dat night before. I was sayin' dat we should wait till night again and let the anticipation build. An' you didn't wanna wait! You wanted me den and dere. Chere, you sure know how to make a guy feel like a man."

"I don't remember who won that one," she commented, furrowing her brow.

"I'm sure you won, chere."

"Why do you say that? I always deferred to you back then. You were more experienced so I always followed what you suggested."

Gambit let out a full-bodied laugh. "We talkin' 'bout the same Rogue here, chere? You know I always gave you what you wanted."

She reached for a pillow and playfully swatted him. "Bullshit!" she exclaimed, laughing. "Back then, I did whatever you suggested. Heck, I believed anythin'. If you told me sex was better in the middle of the mornin', then we did it in the middle of the mornin'!"

"Dis mus' be in some alternate universe. In the one I lived in, you jus' had to start your sweet-talkin' and I surrender to your infinite charms. Like dat time we had the quickie in the Blackbird."

Rogue began to laugh uncontrollably as the memories returned. Rogue and Gambit had just gotten back from a mission with a larger group. While Cyclops, Wolverine, and Colossus left the Blackbird to give the Professor a report, Rogue insisted that she and Gambit remain inside the docking bay to make some minor repairs on the Blackbird.

"Dat was your idea, chere," Gambit reminded her.

"Yeah, but I don't remember you protestin' much," she said, smiling. When they'd laughed so hard their insides hurt, they fell into another deep kiss.

**************

The Pirates had been on the Paradise Planet for a total of eight days when Psylocke requested a meeting one evening.

Alexander did not want to speculate on the reason for the meeting as he walked from the natives' village up the ramp to the Vengeance. He had hardly seen Psylocke during the past eight days and she certainly hadn't called any meetings prior to this. They both frequented the natives' area during most of the day and would come into contact with each other upon occasion there, but that was it.

Alexander spent as much time as possible outdoors. It felt alien to walk through the corridors of the metallic ship. When he reached the conference room and found Storm sitting there, he glanced at her and detected that she felt the same way.

When Dani, Storm, Alexander, Roula, and Thyme had all assembled in the room, Psylocke began to talk. Marrow sat by Psylocke's side, glumly looking at her co-leader.

"Marrow and I have been talking," Psylocke began. In contrast to Marrow, Psylocke looked full of optimism and vitality. "I want to stay here, with the natives. For an indefinite period of time. I plan to be here a while, and I don't have any plans to go back into space. Or to resume what we were doing as Pirates."

"And I'm staying too," Marrow mumbled. She looked downwards.

Storm stifled a gasp at their words. She shot a glance in Mirage's direction and saw her own surprise mirrored on her friend's face.

"So that's it," Psylocke said, spreading her arms. "The Pirates are no more. Marrow and I have decided that you are free to take a shuttle and go. All of you. You can leave whenever you want." She continued, "You can go to the X-men on that planet on which they're stranded, or you can go all the way back to An'zhina."

Storm was free. She felt as if she had just been granted a pardon for a crime or a stay of execution. Her long, self-imposed exile from the X-men had ended early. Listening to Psylocke, she somehow knew that she did not need to fear Betsy abruptly changing her mind. She meant what she said. Storm was a free woman. She could re-join the X-men and reunite with her family! She wondered whether the look on her face displayed the utter elation she felt. She had to force herself to sit still instead of jumping out of the chair cheering. She saw Alexander looking at her happily, and couldn't resist flashing him an uncharacteristic, broad grin.

Dani Moonstar sat in shock. Marrow had not said anything about this at all. For the past two days, Marrow had been oddly quiet and distant. She had seemed in a reflective mood. Dani had guessed that some serious thoughts were churning around Marrow's mind. But she had no idea that Marrow was going to do this.

She looked up and locked eyes with Marrow. Marrow looked simultaneously as at peace and as miserable as Dani had ever seen her.

Dimly, Mirage heard conversations taking place in the background as she observed Psylocke leave the room. Roula and Thyme talked at length and seemed to be saying they wanted to remain on the planet with Psylocke, Marrow, and the natives. Mirage couldn't focus her thoughts. She heard Storm and Alexander eagerly discuss shuttle preparations and she thought they talked about trying to leave perhaps as early as the following morning due to the approach of the magnetic field storms.

Blinking her eyes, Mirage got up and left the room. She half-ran down the corridor and out of the ship. The evening was a cool one, and a crisp wind hit her as she walked towards the tent she shared with Marrow outside. She looked up into the night sky and saw a glowing moon illuminating her way. Then she heard footsteps behind her.

"Marrow." She said her lover's name, turning to face her.

Marrow swallowed. "I love you, Dani," she said, her trembling voice barely above a whisper. "But I know you'd rather be back with the X-men."

Marrow looked as if she might say more, but she bit her lip. Mirage stood facing her, feeling as if she might burst out of her own skin.

She then reached a hand and placed it gently on Marrow's shoulder. "I care about you, Marrow. But I'm an X-man. And I need to be with my people." Fearing a breakdown, Dani didn't want to say more, either.

"I know. And I know that you don't feel the same as I do about you." She said the words without accusation or self-pity -– just mournful acceptance. The tears welling in Marrow's eyes were visible in the moonlight.

Dani's ears burned. She wanted to correct Marrow, tell her that she was wrong on that last statement. But her mouth had dried up, her head hurt. And then suddenly Storm and Alexander walked by.

"Hey, Dani," Alexander called. "Can you be ready by morning? We want to leave at first light, because a storm is going to be coming in later tomorrow. If we don't leave early tomorrow, we'll be trapped for at least seven weeks."

"Sure, whatever," Dani replied, without looking their way. Her voice trembled now, too.

"We're going to say goodbye to Nurya and the others. Want to join us?" Alexander asked. Storm shot him a look.

"Maybe later."

Storm ushered Alexander away, and when they were out of earshot, Marrow spoke again. "I – uh – I don't like big goodbyes. I'm not good at that sorta stuff. But can I ask something of you?"

"Anything, Marrow."

"Can we make love one more time? That can be our goodbye." And, Marrow silently added, the last time we see each other. She didn't know how or if she was going to make it through this. She took a deep breath and tried to believe that Opaka would help her find the strength.

Dani reached for Marrow's hand and took it. "Come on," she whispered, leading her towards their tent.

***************

The following morning, Storm was on board the Vengeance. She returned from the shuttle bay to her old quarters. Satisfied with the condition of the shuttle, she wanted to perform one final check of her room to ensure that everything had been packed.

Jean and the other X-men had been thrilled beyond words when Storm had been able to share the news during this morning's telepathic "check in" performed by Jean. Storm was told that the X-men "would be celebrating" this evening. The shuttle that Psylocke was giving them had half-warp capacity, which meant that the trip to the planet would take roughly five to six hours. She was floored to realize that she would be back with the X-men in time for tonight's party. (They could be cutting it close, though; obviously evening on the X-men's planet and evening on the Paradise Planet occurred at different times, and the X-men were ahead.) Storm had hardly been able to sleep last night with the excitement and sheer joy at the prospect of the reunion. The fact that Wolverine would not be there dampened her spirits considerably, but she still rejoiced at seeing the rest of the X-men again.

Storm's ears perked up as she exited the empty room. She was startled upon hearing the sound of crying.

"Dani," she called, rushing into the quarters next to hers.

She found Mirage standing over her suitcase, sobbing. Storm wrapped her arms around her. 'In my eagerness to return to the X-men, I neglected thinking about what Dani is going through,' Storm berated herself. Though she realized that wasn't entirely true. She had looked all around for Dani last night but had not been able to locate her.

"There, there," she murmured quietly, as she stroked Dani's hair. She let the young woman continue crying.

Dani allowed herself to slump into Storm's arms and be supported by her strong friend. She didn't try to muffle her sobs, allowing loud wails to escape.

"Why can't it ever be easy?" she cried. "Why can't I ever have an easy love life?"

"It's not easy for anyone," Storm whispered.

When Mirage's crying seemed to be subsiding, Storm pulled back. She obtained some tissues from the bathroom, and Mirage gladly blew her nose and wiped her eyes. Dani sat back on the empty bed. Storm also got her hands on a water bottle and offered Dani some cool water to drink. Dani began to compose herself, as Storm sat down next to her, placing an arm about her shoulders.

"You do want to go back to the X-men, don't you?" Storm asked softly.

Upon seeing Dani's confused look, Storm pressed, "Surely you don't love Marrow." She said it as a statement, not a question.

When she received no response, Storm added, "I thought you were dying to return to the X-men."

After a long moment of silence, Dani answered, "I am. But leaving her might kill me too."

Then Dani abruptly stood up. "I gotta finish packing."

"Do you need any help?"

"No. I'm almost done. But can you and Alexander give me another hour? I know you can't wait to see the X-men, but there are a few more natives I want to say goodbye to."

"Of course," Storm replied. She then hesitated before adding, "Just please remember….we do not have much time. The magnetic field storm should begin any time this afternoon and possibly earlier. If we do not leave soon----"

"I know, Storm. I know. Just one more hour and I'll be ready, okay?"

Storm nodded. The two women exchanged one more embrace before she left Mirage alone.

Mirage folded a T-shirt and placed it inside her suitcase. She had always thought that Marrow was out of touch with her emotions when she said that she loved her. Marrow had been like a child who needed an aunt, a lost soul needing a mentor. But Marrow had decided to let Dani go – the most mature thing that she had ever done, and the most selfless.

`So she really does mean it now when she says she loves me,' Mirage realized. Marrow's lovemaking had communicated that without words last night anyway.

She left her suitcase sitting on the bed and briskly walked outdoors towards the tent they shared. It was positioned outside of the natives' village. The outdoor air felt different this morning, charged and humid with the promise of the atmospheric storm. Dani moved faster and finally reached the tent. She unzipped the flap and looked inside. Empty.

Dani was then determined to reach the village, and broke into a jog. Heart beating swiftly, she spoke to the first native she saw.

//Have you seen Marrow today?//

He hadn't. Dani cornered several others and asked if they had seen her. None had.

//I think she might have gone to the waterfall.// One of them told her.

"The waterfall?" Mirage spoke out loud. Her heart skipped a beat. The waterfall was beautiful, but … Without her knowing exactly why, a terrifying thought began to worm its way inside her mind.

Dani broke into a run. Nuances of both love and despair in Marrow's lovemaking the previous night were flashing vividly through her mind as she dashed past the questioning looks of the natives. Thankful for her training, she was able to sprint quickly and strongly. She tried to banish the growing sense of dread that was forming in the pit of her stomach.

The sound of water rushing told her she was growing close. The ground was moist; Dani's boots made squelches as they hit the ground and soon became soiled with mud. She continued to run, rapidly breathing in the damp air and finally reaching the majestic site.

"Marrow?" she called out. Mirage's eyes darted around, scanning the dense foliage and the climb leading up towards the top of the waterfall. No sign of her anywhere. "Marrow?" she called louder, though her voice was drowned out by the splashing of the waterfall itself.

Mirage slowly approached the rim of the waterfall and peered down. What she could discern caused her heart to plummet towards her gut. Amidst the splashes of white foam was what chillingly looked like a body floating in the water.

****************

We used some of our dwindling dilithium supplies to replicate a few decorations. We all knew it wasn't wise to replicate things we didn't need, but we really wanted to celebrate Storm and Dani's homecoming. Besides, with them would be another shuttle, which would bring more dilithium and help expedite our return to An'zhina. We planned for a low-key but joyous party.

It was during lunch that Jean made the announcement. When we sat down to eat, Jean wasn't present yet; Cyke said that she would be doing her check-in with Storm to get more details on their arrival. Jean walked into the mess hall as if she were a member of a funeral procession. All eyes turned to look at her.

"Mommy, what wrong?" Charlotte asked as soon as her mother walked through the doors.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news," Jean began. "I have some very good news too, but the bad news I have is really…tragic." She paused for just a second before saying, "Marrow is dead."

I am embarrassed to admit it. But my first reaction was relief; I had been really worried that she was going to tell us something had happened to Storm or Dani. I then looked around the room and wondered if my teammates felt the same relief. I would guess from the looks on their faces that most of them did.

"Oh my goodness!" Cyclops said. "What happened?"

"Well, Storm didn't go into a lot of detail – and I didn't want to probe her mind. But it appears that Marrow committed suicide."

"Why did she do that?" Kurt asked. "Did she leave a suicide note?"

"She didn't leave anything written. Storm thinks that she was upset at Dani leaving. She says that's the conclusion that everyone else has come to as well."

"So, are Storm and Dani still comin'?" Rogue asked.

"Yes. Actually, that is the good news that I have. Apparently…Psylocke gave them the ship!"

"The starship? Are you serious?" Cyclops asked, sounding as astonished as the rest of us must have felt.

"Yes. According to Storm, Psylocke felt bad for them. She told Storm that Marrow would have wanted Dani to have the ship." Jean paused and added, "I think Psylocke may have been feeling some guilt as well over some things that she did, but I don't want to enter her mind. Psylocke left the shuttles for herself but she gave the Vengeance to Storm and Dani. Anyway, the ship just left the planet. The magnetic field storms have started up as well – Storm said they got out just in the nick of time. Alexander is with them as well." Jean took a breath after saying all that.

Cannonball spoke the question that was burning in my mind too. "So….since they have the Vengeance….." his voice trailed off.

"We can use it to tow Freedom back to An'zhina," Cyke finished. "We can get out of here!"

Excited looks skipped through the room and a few people cheered. Jean-Paul happily grabbed one of my hands. We would soon be on our way back to An'zhina!

"They're travelling at sub-warp and should be here in just over an hour," Jean added.

After a few seconds, I immediately felt guilt for my happiness. I saw a few guilty expressions on other faces too. Nightcrawler then spoke, "I would like to say a prayer for Marrow. Could we please observe a moment of silence?"

"I think that would be a good idea," Cyke added, suddenly somber again.

We all sobered up really quickly. We bowed our heads and Kurt prayed quietly. Not being religious, I didn't follow every word of what he said, but he kept it brief, saying that Marrow had suffered much during her life. He said words to the effect of it being sad that a mutant took her own life, and that he wished her peace in the afterlife.

After this, lunch was finished in awkward silence, for the most part. I didn't know what to say, and I don't think anyone did. We were all overjoyed, I would surmise, at the fact that our being stranded here was over. But Marrow was dead by her own hand. None of us could say we had been close to her. She didn't really even try to make friends during her time in the X-men, and most of us didn't really even like her that much. I can't speak for anyone else, but that made my guilt over our having acquired the Vengeance even worse.

After what seemed like only a few minutes more, our leaders – Cyclops, Rogue, and Hank – seated themselves at one table in the back of the room to discuss where the X-men would go from here. The rest of us lingered around the mess hall as well. I was sitting near Jean-Paul, Jeanne-Marie, Jubilee, Sam, and Gambit.

"I guess we should put these decorations away," Jubilee said.

I turned my head to look at the table with streamers and limp balloons piled on top. We hadn't put them up yet since we'd been thinking that Storm and the others would arrive by shuttle and we'd have more time.

"I feel so guilty," I said quietly, shaking my head. "I'm so glad we'll have a functioning starship again. But…."

Jean-Paul patted my back. "I think we all feel that way."

"She musta really had it bad for Dani," Jubilee said.

"And I wonder how Dani's doing," I added.

"Do you think she," Jubilee began, "like….felt something for Marrow?"

"We can only guess what deir relationship was like," Gambit said. "But even if dey hated each other, or if Dani hated Marrow, she still gonna feel somet'in over her dyin'."

"'Specially since Marrow **killed** herself," Sam added. "If nothin' else, she's gonna feel some guilt. Even if there ain't no logical reason to feel that way," he quickly added.

I looked at Jean-Paul's face. He was looking really depressed, which puzzled me. Jean-Paul **is** a caring person, but he didn't know Marrow well at all. "You okay?" I asked quietly.

"You know, gays and lesbians have a higher suicide rate than heterosexuals," he said. "It's distressing to see one kill herself."

"Mutants have higher suicide rates than non-mutants too," Sam said.

"Could Dani be...you know, at risk?" Jubilee asked. I looked at her face. She had the depressed look of Jean-Paul mixed with growing dread.

"I will talk to Jean," Jean-Paul said, presumably referring to asking her to keep an eye on Dani.

But our depressing conversation ended when Cyke, Rogue, and Hank stood to address the group. "We've decided that once Storm and the others are here with the starship, we'll use Vengeance to tow Freedom in the direction of Wolverine's shuttle," Cyclops said. "We'll rendezvous with them and then decide as a group our next steps."

"That way everyone has a chance to talk 'bout our next plan of action," Rogue said.

It made sense. Although we were itching to return to An'zhina, we **were** on a mission to go to earth; we were going to make change. We knew that the Professor and the others on An'zhina were probably dying to hear that we were safe. Maybe Shaman or Hector would want to remain on a shuttle to An'zhina so they could update the others. Whatever the case, Cyke was clear that he wanted us to plot our next course of action as a group.

******************

Storm sat on the floor of Dani's quarters outside of the washroom in which Dani had locked herself. Every now and then, Storm would attempt to initiate conversation with Dani. She would also listen with her ear pressed against the door, feeling intense relief when she heard the sound of tears. At least it meant that Dani was alive. She didn't think her friend was at risk of suicide, but she wanted nothing left to chance either. Storm had even used the computer to beam out razors and other sharp objects.

When Mirage had discovered Marrow's body, pandemonium had erupted. The shocked natives wanted to believe that she had fallen and the death was accidental. But none could recall anyone ever accidentally falling there. Suicide was unknown to the natives as well. The image of the tiny Opaka shaking with tears would forever be etched inside Storm's memory

"That has to be it," Psylocke had said to a stunned Storm. "Suicide, I mean. She and I talked before we had our meeting where we told you that you could all go free. I told her that maybe she could go back with Dani and re-join the X-men. Or at least stay with the X-men. But Marrow said she felt she'd done too much damage there, that they'd never forgive her for all the FOH soldiers she killed, and that she never fit in there anyway. She kept saying that she couldn't live in Dani's world. I think she was hoping that Dani would want to stay with her. Or that she'd at least **ask** her to return to the X-men with her."

Storm had felt her stomach sour at thoughts of what could have been. And she knew that she could not falter now, either. Dani would need her to be strong, and the magnetic field storm was looming ahead.

Storm and Alexander had attempted to convince Dani that they wouldn't mind waiting out the seven weeks for the storm to pass; they had spent so much time away from the X-men that seven more weeks wouldn't matter much. But Dani kept insisting that she wanted to leave right away.

"I gotta get away from here," Dani had said.

Storm couldn't read Mirage's blank facial expression, other than knowing it had contained a mixture of shock and heartbreak. But determination was there as well. No matter what Storm or Alexander did, they could not convince her to remain on the Paradise Planet and grieve.

More shock for Storm ensued that day when Psylocke gave them the starship. Too numb to question it and knowing they had less than twenty minutes before the magnetic field storm set in, the trio moved their belongings from the shuttle back to the ship and set off, leaving Psylocke and the others with the shuttles.

Storm's communicator sounded. "Less than ten minutes before we reach the planet's atmosphere," Alexander said. "I'm bringing us out of sub-warp now."

`Maybe returning to the X-men is just what Dani needs,' she told herself.

********************

The logistics were a bit complicated, but they came off without a hitch. Storm set the Vengeance down near Freedom as we all waited on the ground, outside of Freedom. Once their landing was successful, we rushed up the ramp to greet her, Dani, and to meet Alexander.

Needless to say, it wasn't exactly the joyous event we were all hoping for given the circumstances. Storm looked tired, but she seemed like herself. She greeted everyone with a hug and I eagerly took mine. Getting to wrap my arms around her and sense her genuine happiness at our reunion was great. After six and a half months apart, we had Storm back with us again!

Alexander was affable and shook everyone's hand. (I suppose I shouldn't add that he was totally hot too, manly and rugged but calm and competent. Loved the broad shoulders and I even found his graying hair appealing. Jean-Paul saw me looking at him, and I can't say that I minded the jealous expression on his face either.)

"I haven't been able to coax Dani out of her room," Storm said, explaining Dani's absence. She then added, her voice much more quiet and I had to strain to hear, "Jean, you have been…..?"

"Yes," Jean answered. "I have been monitoring her mind – from a respectful distance, of course. She's alright. I will keep checking in with her too."

Despite that, we decided to replicate a feast including alcohol and other forbidden items, thanks to the stores of dilithium from the Vengeance.

Cyclops then, of course, got down to business. The Vengeance would need to set up a tractor beam so Freedom could be pulled. We decided that two people would remain on board the Vengeance at all times; the rest of us on board Freedom, simply because it had become home for us. (Back to the days of having bridge duty shifts! I had almost forgotten what they were like.) Cyclops and Hank offered to take the first shift, and they quite easily engaged the tractor beam and got both ships out of the planet's atmosphere.

Setting Vengeance to maximum warp, we took off. Although I often get attached to places, I felt no remorse and no tears at leaving this planet behind. It had not been inhospitable but it was not a place I felt sad to leave either. I just glanced out the window at it once, seeing the planet shrink just before we jumped to warp and thinking of the four months we spent there. It seemed much longer than that.

Our top speed was much faster than the Pryde's. We would overtake the shuttle in twelve to thirteen days, Cyclops announced.

*****************

Rogue and Gambit walked with Storm to Freedom's engine room. The couple was on either side of Storm and during most of their stroll down the hallway, they had their arms around their dear friend.

"It's beyond any sort of repair. Freedom needs a whole new engine refit," Storm said, after inspecting the damage.

"I think Hank and Cyke pretty much came to that conclusion too," Rogue said.

"It looks like it never really recovered from the magnetic field storm damage during our first time on the Paradise Planet. Between that and the asteroid field, I'm surprised anything's working at all."

Gambit nodded. "Dis engine been drough a lot of damage. Good 'ting we got the Vengeance. We might have to make dat ship the one we take wit' us on missions." He looked down and then smiled warmly at his friend. "But 'nuff 'bout dat stuff. How are you? What did you do durin' all dose mont's?"

"Yeah, sugar," Rogue added. "I wanna hear all about it. Jean told us some stuff but it ain't the same as hearin' 'bout it from you."

"What is there to say about my time with the Pirates?" Storm began. "Well, I suppose I do not need to say that I missed all of you very much. I had more time on my hands than I knew what to do with. I had time to read every book I printed up from the computer, and I've never written so much in my journal or had so much time to meditate. I spent a lot of time in the gym and I practiced my flute playing quite a bit too."

"What 'bout Psylocke and the others? Did dey bother you?" Gambit asked.

"They hardly bothered me at all," Storm said, conveniently ignoring the psychic blast with which Psylocke had assaulted her. "During most days, I rarely saw the other members of the crew except, of course, Dani." She smiled, "I always felt it was a good thing that she and I have always gotten along so well. We became very close during that time and I think we always will be."

"Jean said you only came across one FOH ship durin' your time there," Rogue said. She couldn't say why she'd felt compelled to change the subject; only that Storm seemed somewhat uncomfortable discussing Dani then.

Storm nodded. "I found that quite surprising. I thought that last time we had up-to-date information on them, they had an armada roaming the galaxy. To this day, I find it hard to believe that we only encountered **one** vessel in six-and-a-half months."

"'Specially wit' Psylocke's powers scannin' space all the time," Gambit added. "Could dey have some sorta technology to block telepat'ic powers? Like maybe Emma's helpin' dem?"

"Jean and I discussed that when we communicated," Storm said. "She said she thinks that it…well, it is **conceivable**, but very unlikely. For one thing, how would Psylocke have been able to detect the one ship we **did** find? And unless Emma's powers have been greatly enhanced, one psychic should not be able to block the emotional signatures of all FOH soldiers in all vessels everywhere in this vast galaxy." Storm sighed. "I wanted to learn more from the soldiers on the one ship we did…encounter, but Psylocke and the others killed them pretty quickly and I was a bit indisposed during it."

"Indisposed?" Rogue asked.

"It is a long story," Storm said, her voice suddenly tired. "Let's just say that Psylocke wanted to make sure that I didn't interfere with her orgy of killing, and she knocked me out for a bit." With a wave of her hand, she dismissed their concern. "I am fine now. Truly, I am just glad that Psylocke went through the conversion she had on the Paradise Planet. She is a different person now."

Rogue stepped closer to her husband and put an arm around him. She smiled a devilish grin. "Well, Remy and I can personally testify 'bout how healin' that place is. Right, sugar?"

He responded with a kiss, remembering that dreamy night of lovemaking.

Storm wryly said, "Yes, the rest of us heard about it." She marveled, thinking about how much time had passed since the X-men's vacation on the Paradise Planet when the entire team had begun to heal from the trauma they experienced at the hands of FOH.

When Rogue and Gambit were done gazing lovingly into each other's eyes, Storm changed the subject. "Enough about what happened with me. How are you two doing?"

Gambit guessed that Storm wanted to offer her condolences about the miscarriage, correctly assuming that Jean had mentioned it during their telepathic chats. He glanced at Rogue and sensed that she was alright with discussing it. "We fine, Storm."

"I – I heard about the miscarriage," Storm said heavily. "I'm sorry. I wish I could have been there to support you during that time."

"We're okay, Storm. We're dealin' with it," Rogue said, though her lower lip quivered.

"Do you think you might try again someday?"

There was an awkward silence. Then the couple spoke at the same time. Gambit said, "We don't know," as Rogue said, "Probably not." They looked at each other and shared a weary smile.

Then Jubilee and Bobby entered engineering. "There you are!" Jubilee said, rushing up to Storm.

"Looks like you're gonna be Ms. Popularity for a while," Bobby said to Storm. "There's like a line of people who want to catch up with you."

"We shouldda known you'd be in engineering, working," Jubilee said, as a few more X-men entered the room. Storm soon became surrounded by her old friends who couldn't get enough of her.

"Twelve days till we get to Wolverine's shuttle!" Bobby enthused. "You must be counting down the hours."

"Indeed I am," she admitted, smiling. She then turned to Jubilee. "I cannot believe how much Rory – and Charlotte – have grown in my absence. They are truly no longer toddlers but little girls."

***************

Only a few hours later, Jubilee found herself on a mission. It was one that she was fairly certain would fail; Storm, Bobby, and others had told her they attempted it without success. But Jubilee wanted to try her luck. She had a special edge that they did not, she knew.

Beaming onto the Vengeance, she punched up a map on one of the computers and made her way to Dani Moonstar's quarters. No response was offered to her ringing of the bell.

"Computer, can you locate Dani Moonstar?" Jubilee asked, tapping her communicator. She correctly guessed that the Vengeance was set up the way Freedom was; on command, the computer would locate any member of the crew. Dani had been asked by Storm, but had not responded to the request to move her quarters to one of Freedom's many empty rooms.

"Dani Moonstar is inside her quarters," the computer's mechanic voice responded.

Jubilee eschewed the bell and banged her fist against the door. "Dani, would you open up, please?" she demanded. "It's Jubilee. I wanna talk to you."

Her heart began to race with fear before rationality took over. `No, no -- it's not possible,' she told herself. `Jean's checking in with her. And the computer wouldn't have said she was inside her room if she was….'

Jubilee banged on the door again. "Dani, open up!" she demanded.

She continued on for several minutes. `This is what Bobby and the others pretty much said I could expect,' she reminded herself.

Jubilee sat down on the floor in the hallway. `But the difference is that I'm not givin' up!'

"Dani, I'm not going away," Jubilee called. "I'll stay here all day if you want."

Still no response. She knew that the hook-up of their communicators would allow Dani to hear every word she said. "Look, Dani, I haven't even seen you for the last six months. Is this any way to greet an old friend?"

More silence. Jubilee sat there, periodically tapping or banging on the door and speaking into the communicator. She hoped Jean-Paul and Bobby meant it when they said they wouldn't mind looking after Rory for a while.

"The whole team missed you a lot," Jubilee said. "Storm said you've been hittin' the training room and you're like a great fighter now. Don't you wanna show your stuff?"

More time passed with no reply from Dani. "Aren't you gettin' bored? I mean, what are you doing in there?" Jubilee asked.

After more than thirty minutes went by, Jubilee said, "Okay, Dani, I know you don't want an ultimatum, but you're getting one. If you don't open this door right now, I'm coming in!"

Motivated as much by boredom and the aches in her legs as by caring, Jubilee sprang to her feet. She pressed the button and the door to the room obligingly slid aside.

Her eyes began to slowly adjust to the dark room. Jubilee spotted a small candle, burned nearly to the wick. Dani was lying on her bed, with her back towards Jubilee. Most of the covers had been kicked off the bed. Dani's long, black hair looked as if it hadn't been brushed for days.

Jubilee looked at the stark sight. She had seen or heard of a lot of her teammates being in such a state of despair like this, at one time or another. Rogue after the miscarriage. Northstar after the FOH attacks. Jubilee herself, those dismal weeks after surviving her own assaults from FOH.

She began to verbalize such thoughts, not even realizing she was doing it until after she had began to speak. "This sucks. We're the most shit-on people in the galaxy. Being a mutant sucks. None of us deserve half the shit we get in our lives."

"Being an X-man sucks. I wish I'd never joined."

Jubilee couldn't believe her ears but Moonstar had spoken! Jubilee moved closer, pulling up the chair and seating herself upon it. A few articles of clothing and some random papers were splayed on the chair.

"It ain't being an X-man that sucks," Jubilee said passionately. "It's what happens to us because we're mutants."

Dani was quiet for a moment or two before she said, "If you gimme a choice, I'd rather I stayed on An'zhina with the other **non-X-men** mutants, drinking a pina colada by the beach." She remained facing away from Jubilee.

"Well, there's that. But we X-men are the ones making change in the galaxy, fighting back against evil. I'll take that any day over sunning myself on some beach." She then grinned sheepishly and added, "Even though the X-men haven't been able to do much the last year. Or two."

"Whatever."

Seeing that Dani had clammed up again, Jubilee asked, "So, do you wanna talk about it? I'm here to lis----"

"No." The answer was blunt.

"Okay. That's cool. No one expects you to be smiling happily and pretending like nothing happened."

Dani was quiet for a while before she asked, "So how's Rory?"

"She's great!" Jubilee said, very encouraged that Dani asked the question. "She's all potty-trained now. Cyke, Jean, and Hank and I have come up with a program to start educating the girls. It's hard to get her to sit still for more than a few minutes though. She's into everything."

"How's your boyfriend?"

"He's okay." Her answer to this question was slower and more thought-out. "He's really homesick. He misses his parents and sister."

Jubilee then struggled to come up with something to engage Dani, but she came up blank. Most questions were so trite. ('What's new with you?' 'How was the paradise planet?')

Finally, she found a decent one. "When Wolverine's back, you wanna start training karate with him again?"

"No."

More awkward silence. Jubilee wondered whether simply her presence would help, but she doubted it. Dani's back remained towards her; Jubilee might as well not have been in the room. Her eyes darted around the room and settled on the flute case that was flung into the corner of the room. She still had one ace to play. She knew how Dani responded to music.

"Mind if I play your flute?" she asked. She knew it wasn't exactly sanitary, but she didn't want to beam back to Freedom to get her own.

"Go ahead."

Timidly, Jubilee walked towards the flute case and opened it up. She hadn't been practicing much during the last six months. She could count on one hand the number of times she'd taken her flute out of its case. `Maybe this wasn't such a great idea,' she worried, as she gripped the cold instrument in her hands.

Jubilee played the song she recalled best, struggling to remember where to place her fingers and hitting several wrong notes.

Dani sat up in bed upon hearing one of her favorite songs massacred. She placed her fingers over her ears. "Simply awful!"

"Sorry," Jubilee said.

"This was the best tactic you came up with to get me to sit up."

"If you agree to have a meal with me and…Bobby and Storm, I'll stop playing. If you don't agree, I'll start the song again from the top!" Jubilee had created the ultimatum on the spur of the moment, though she knew Bobby and Storm would agree. She'd selected the two people she thought Dani liked best.

Dani sighed. "On one condition. No talk about….what happened."

"Deal."

****************

Jubilee hastily rounded up the group she had mentioned, arranging for Bobby to swap out his bridge duty shift and coaxing Sam into babysitting Aurora. Dani refused to leave the Vengeance, stubbornly declining to set foot on Freedom, so the meal would take place in the large, empty mess hall of the Vengeance.

"I am honored that you are willing to join us, Mirage," Storm said, as the foursome began to eat.

"Cut the formal crap, Storm," Dani said. Her tone was not angry; just straightforward. Bobby looked at the two women and guessed that their friendship had gone to that level where one could say whatever one wanted to the other and not worry about it being taken the wrong way.

"So, do you have a new code name or something?" he asked. "Mirage?"

"Yeah."

"What a cool name. How'd you come up with it?"

"I don't want to talk about that right now," Dani said.

"Fair enough."

"Isn't this salad great?" Jubilee asked. "Bobby, your greenhouse greens are the best."

"I do try," Bobby smiled. "But it's nothing compared to the food the natives had. I remember this bean dish they made…." His voice trailed off upon seeing the look from Dani. She clearly did not want memories of the natives or the Paradise Planet discussed now.

"I did quite a bit of cooking during my stay on board this ship," Storm said, her gaze in the direction of the preparation area of the galley. "It can be quite fun to prepare a meal from scratch."

"Isn't it?" Bobby enthused. "I tell you, if I was back on earth, I'd be preparing five-course dinners for Jean-Paul ---and for my friends, too. I enjoy doing it and it's a labor of love too."

"So, what have you been up to while I was away?" Dani asked, looking at Bobby. Her voice had a flat tone to it, but it was not without sincere interest either.

"Oh, not much. Jean-Paul wants to get married and he wants us to have a baby." Bobby then muttered words to the effect of, "I'm not a 1950's housewife."

"A baby? So like how does he propose that the two of you make a baby?"

"He wants Jeanne-Marie to have the baby. With me. I mean, using my sperm. Jeanne-Marie's all gung-ho on this crazy idea too."

"So are you gonna do it?" Dani asked.

"No way. I mean, I don't wanna have kids – even though I like kids like Rory," he said, smiling in Jubilee's direction. "The marriage thing I'm cool with though – it would be nice to have a ceremony, you know – to make a commitment to each other publicly. But it's too early in our relationship for that. There's no need to rush. But the kid thing --- ain't gonna happen; I have no interest in that."

"How are the twins taking it?"

"They're pissed as hell, of course," Bobby said, smiling. "And they're **so** pleasant to be around when they're angry."

Observing Dani's behavior, Storm felt encouraged. Dani seemed sincerely interested in talking to her old friends. Perhaps this would be something she could get through, Storm mused. But then she looked harder at the redness in Dani's eyes and at the way she picked at her food, and Storm knew that her friend would be grieving for a very long time indeed.

*********************

"I think I'm going to give up command of the X-men."

"What?" Jean asked, nearly falling out of her chair.

"I've had it with being the leader," Cyclops declared.

Jean's eyes were wide. Scott was not one to make a proclamation just to get attention or a response. If he said he was going to do something, he did it. "Did something bad happen?" she asked, just as Charlotte ambled up to Scott.

"What wrong, Daddy?" she asked. She held her arms up, asking to be picked up.

"Daddy's okay, sweetheart," Scott said soothingly as he lifted her into his arms.

The precocious toddler did not know how to express her frustration. Adults lied; they said things that were simply not true. Her father was not "okay"; he was agitated. Charlotte had been talking for quite some time, but she did not have the ability to fully express how she felt, so she began to cry.

"There, there, sweetheart. It's okay. Daddy's okay," Scott murmured. He looked at Jean for assistance.

Jean glanced at Christopher, noting that he happily played with his toys in the alcove of their room that had been set aside as play area. He wasn't oblivious to his sister's distress, but he wasn't overly concerned about it either. Jean tried to refrain from making a judgement. Christopher was fifteen months younger than Charlotte, and it would be quite unfair to compare a child of twenty months to one who was almost three years old. Christopher didn't have his sister's mutant gift of empathy either.

"Sweetie, please don't worry about Daddy and Mommy," Jean said, approaching her husband and daughter, and gently stroking Charlotte's hair. "Daddy is upset, but he will be alright. You know that people get upset from time to time, but usually we're alright in the end."

"I know," Charlotte said. She couldn't form the words to express her distress over the way people covered up and denied their hurt feelings when they had them. But both of her parents continued to reassure her, and she calmed down.

"She'll always be a sensitive one," Scott said, once Charlotte had scampered off.

"Yes. I think it's not just due to her power of empathy. I get the idea she'd be sensitive no matter what," Jean said, seating herself down next to Scott. She took his hand. "But back to what you were saying….What's going on? Did something happen again today?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "Storm's been back with us for less than 24 hours," he began. "But she already made the time to have a meeting with me and let me know that she's back as the co-leader."

"Nothing wrong with that," Jean said. "I mean, Scott, she **is** the co-leader." Jean surmised that this would not be a good time to mention that Storm had approached her about having another healing ceremony with the women.

"I know. But something about the way she acted disturbed me. It felt like she wanted to meet with me to show her muscle and remind me that I'm not the sole leader anymore. It just…it felt like a power grab."

"A power grab? That's just not Storm's style," Jean said softly.

"I know. But that's really how it felt." Scott paused, and then said, "We talked about a few other things too; I gave her some updates. Then she told me a bit about what happened on the Vengeance. At one point she accused me of not showing enough….concern over Marrow's suicide."

"Really?"

"Yes. And, Jean," he began, with ardor in his voice, "it's not that I don't find it a tragedy that a mutant chose to take her own life. I do. But we're talking about someone who was an X-men for a very short amount of time, who routinely disobeyed orders, who left us without permission, taking one of our shuttles in the process. Someone who formed a vigilante group, torturing and killing people ---well, FOH soldiers, but **people** nonetheless – who couldn't be reasoned with, who made us sign an agreement not to interfere; made us turn over two of our team members for a time…." He forced himself to slow down. "It's regrettable that she committed suicide, but I think it's understandable if I'm not exactly overcome with grief over it."

Jean nodded. "I feel the same way you do. What I think we need to do is concentrate on helping Dani Moonstar."

"And that's pretty much what I told Storm! Then, when I wanted to move on to discussing another topic, that's when she got upset –or maybe 'impatient' is a better word – with me." He shook his head. "I am tired of being under a microscope and having every decision questioned. Look, I'm sure Storm's motives for meeting with me were good. She has every right to want to be updated on the happenings of a team that she co-leads."

"I'm glad you realize that, Scott." She could tell that his anger was starting to dissipate. Talking it through always seemed to help him, and she was glad that he was doing so.

"Even taking that into account though, I am seriously considering stepping down."

At Jean's surprised look, Scott continued, "I mean, think about it. I've been leader of this team for a long time. I have different things going on in my life now, and I'd rather spend my time on the kids – and on you. I've been an X-man for almost twenty years, and been the team leader for nearly that long as well. That's a long time for any one person to lead a group. Maybe it's time to let someone else to do it."

Jean easily picked up on an unverbalized thought of Scott's. //Let someone else take the criticism and get to experience their every decision being questioned.// The frustration of so many events was in that thought, years of decisions being questioned and analyzed. Years of being apart from the rest of the team, never being quite able to form the solid friendships the others had.

"I certainly see why you feel that way," Jean said softly. They exchanged a smile; he understood that she detected his unverbalized sentiments. "May I suggest something?"

"Anytime, my love," he said.

"Please just give this some more consideration before you decide. You are a born leader, Scott. Your leadership –whether it's appreciated or not---provides a valuable service to the X-men and, by extension, to mutants everywhere. We have a functioning starship again, and we'll rendezvous with the rest of the group soon. We might be on our way to earth again before we know it, and there we'll need a strong leader. There are other good leaders on this team, but you **are** the best. And I know that Professor Xavier would agree that you are a tremendous leader. Please…think about it."

Jean's mindlink touched Scott's mind. She could detect that he was not overly angry or depressed. There was no cause for alarm, she determined (and could have guessed at that without connecting with his mind.) He was, however, quite serious about relinquishing command and his omnipresent insecurity was not helping.

"I'll think about it," he said.

******************

TO BE CONTINUED

Coming next – The reunion of Storm and Wolverine, and the final chapter in this epic!

By the way, do you have any favorite fanfics? (Aside from this one. : -) ) Since I will have a little more time on my hands now that I'm not writing any more, I'd love to lose myself in a good X-men fanfic. Any recommendations?