When He Was Mine
By: Maggz
Disclaimer: InuYasha and Co. © Rumiko Takahashi
Chapter 25
We stopped for breakfast and ate on the way to the studio. Actually, I half-fed InuYasha as he had no coordination to drive and eat at the same time! It was cute to stick bits of ham and egg in his mouth and have him try to chew and not laugh at me. "I spoil you, already..", I said and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "It's OK. I'm not complaining. Do you see me complaining?", he grinned as he reached out a hand for a sip of Coke.
I finished my breakfast quickly and soon enough we were at the studio. "So...?", I smiled and leaned over the seat to kiss him fully on the mouth. "Mmmmm... So?", he answered back. "I get to see you in action, right? Will it show me another side to you? Will I get soooooooo turned on that we might have to take a detour back to the apartment, InuYasha?", I grinned. "You ever get THAT turned on and all you have to do is TELL me and we'll find a closet!", he laughed and kissed my nose. "Let's go. I'm excited!", I smiled and climbed out of the car. I knew I would be seeing Kouga but I had no idea if InuYasha had spoken to Kouga at all about us, so I was a bit nervous as I walked in. InuYasha grabbed my hand as we neared the back entrance doors and then put his arm around me after that. "I'll show you where you can see best, where you can watch and then you can wander around until we get ready to start if you want...", he whispered in my ear, blowing a warm breath in it. I turned to look at him and he laughed. "Sorry, Kagome. I'm incorrigible around you, I can't help it!", he laughed.
InuYasha took me on a mini tour and then showed me a place, side stage, where I could wait. He introduced me to several crew people and told me I wouldn't be alone once taping started in the studio. With a quick kiss, he bounded off and I looked at my watch. Taping wouldn't begin for another hour so I wandered round, looking at pictures of celebrities studding the walls around me. It wasn't long before I heard voices coming through the back entrance door and I looked up just as Kouga and Miroku made their way in. Kouga's eyes met mine and looked away, then back and he smiled. Miroku smiled and kissed my cheek, making small talk and then wandered off in the same direction InuYasha had gone. "Hi...", I said as Kouga moved toward me, closer. "Hi, Kagome... Look, if it makes you feel any better InuYasha already talked to me... about you two...", he said lowly and reached for my hand. "But that was my place to do that...", I said, I never wanted to hurt him. He'd been so good to me and I'd been powerfully attracted to him. It was just... just... He wasn't InuYasha. And InuYasha had been who I wanted with everything in me.
"You want to talk? We can talk now. I've got awhile before I have to go back and somebody'll come and get me when they're ready for me, for sure. C'mon, let's go talk...", he said and squeezed my hand, taking me further back in the studio. It was obvious he knew where he was going as he wound his way back thru a maze of hallways and doors and soon he had taken me to a small room with just a table and a few chairs scattered there. I went to a chair and sat down, watching him as he took the chair across from me at the table.
"I want to know first that you're really with InuYasha. It's not just some jealousy thing with him. He was pretty shitty at that party, really pissed me off. I couldn't tell with you, Kagome. I thought you wanted to be with me and I thought you were only going with InuYasha to make peace between us all. But then, when you didn't come back, when you never called and your sister Kikyo... She told me that you and InuYasha had a... a THING going... Well, I just... Hell, I don't know, but InuYasha, he told me several days ago, that the two of YOU were together now. I just didn't... no, I couldn't understand why you didn't come to me and tell me.", he said.
I had been looking at him the whole time. Those big, blue eyes of his held mine as he talked and I felt horrible, so bad. I had no excuses to give him, not really, at least none that sounded right to my own ears. My only thoughts, night and day, had been filled with InuYasha Hara. I had lost myself completely to him.
"Kouga... I... I don't know what to say. You're right about most of what you say. I did want to make peace between the two of you. I didn't want trouble that night at the party, and I knew InuYasha was steaming mainly because he and Kikyo had had a row. I DO like you. I loved going out with you. You are one of the easiest people to get to know that I've ever met and you made me feel so good when we went out", I said. "InuYasha... he... I don't know... I don't know how all this happened so quickly. I've thought it through over and over and I still don't understand. He and Kikyo were having problems before I came back home and then I met him. There was this something, this spark there from the very beginning. But I wasn't gonna act on it. It was like he and I danced around the whole thing and then, after the party, he was taking me home... his car, it stopped... we were alone and found this cabin, it was late. We stayed there and Kouga, I... we...", I said and he took my hand in his and smiled. "Kagome, you don't have to tell me, you don't. I don't want to know about you sleeping with InuYasha, I don't. I just wish it had been me...", he said.
"Oh, Kouga. I'm not such a prize. God knows I've hurt you now and I never meant to. I can't ever make up to you what I did to you. It's like I led you on but I had no plans to be with InuYasha, it just happened. And when it happened, it changed my world. Does that make you angrier with me? Do I sound any less the slut?", I asked him. "No, it's OK... really. I have to adjust is all. And I don't really have much love for InuYasha at the moment but I can deal. I just know, or rather I feel like you have alot to go thru with this relationship. Your sister, she doesn't want to give InuYasha up to you. She might not WANT him but she sure as hell don't want YOU to have him either...", He said.
"You got that from talking to her?", I asked. "Yeah, she didn't hide it very well. She couldn't wait to run to me and tell me, trust me...", he said. "AH... God, Kouga. I'm so sorry. It should have been me...", I said and I felt the tears start to burn the back of my eyes. "Look, nobody HAS InuYasha. I should think you know that better than anyone, at least better than me or Kikyo. InuYasha is his own person. I have no hold on him. I just like to be with him. If it grew to anything... well, I won't let myself think that far ahead, ok? It's just, let's say I have no illusions about him, whether it be his job, or him or whatever. I won't ever hold him back or hold him down...", I said.
"God, Kagome. Don't you see?", Kouga said and walked around to my side of the table, my hand still held in his. "See WHAT, Kouga? That I wrecked Kikyo and InuYasha, that I wrecked you and InuYasha's friendship just on the basis of a whim, for want, NEED of sex. I don't know what I see...", I cried. He squatted down by my chair and held my hands, both of them, in his lap. "No, not that at all. And I don't think it's a whim at all. I may not know you really, really well but I feel I know you well enough that I know you do nothing on a whim... and InuYasha... Look, just say I know him very well and the word 'whim' is not in his vocabulary. If he wanted you, and he does, then he knew it long before he made a move with you. And he made sure it was what you wanted too. He wouldn't use you, Kagome. This is so hard for me, I'm talking you into InuYasha when it's me I want you to BE with...", he breathed.
"It's OK Kouga, you don't need to reassure me, really...", I said and he reached up and wiped the tears from my face. "Do you disappear from my life then, is that it?", he asked me, his eyes wide. "No, no you don't..", I said. "But InuYasha, he's really possessive... And with you I can just tell, he's laid quite the claim on you. He told me in no uncertain terms that you belonged to him now.", Kouga said. "He SAID that!", I burst out and stood up, Kouga standing with me. "He... well, yeah... he told me as of now there would be no Kouga and Kagome, that you and he had decided to be together. And Kagome, really, it's not like it sounds!", he said. "Then how is it, Kouga!?", I said, my heart pounding. I didn't know if I liked this or if I hated InuYasha for it. His fierceness, his pride, his intensity. They were all strong parts of him. But to go to Kouga before I'd even had the chance to talk to him, when I had specifically told InuYasha on our way back from the cabin that I needed to talk to Kouga? It was almost too much to comprehend!
"He obviously is in love with you...", Kouga said softly and looked down at me. "Do you love him?", he asked. "Kouga... I... how can we be in love when we've only been together this amount of time?", I asked. "It can happen, Kagome. And he acts so different with you than he acted with your sister, he seems so different...", Kouga said. "Do you love him?", he asked again. I stood there, my heart aching; knowing I did love InuYasha but scared to commit to it, to tell it to anyone, afraid if I did, that it would just disappear on me. That he'd laugh at me and turn away. I still wasn't trusting him. It was like he'd said as long as he was in front of my eyes, I had no problem saying I loved him, loved the idea of US. But away from him my heart began to wonder and I didn't know why. "Kagome?", Kouga asked softly and put his hand to my face. I turned my face to look up at him, my eyes filled with tears, not wanting to hurt him but wanting to be true to InuYasha. "Yes, Kouga. I do love him... I do...", I said and felt the tears start to roll down my face. He brushed them away... and then I felt his arms tighten around my waist, his lips on mine, his warm kiss brush across my lips and I let him kiss me... kiss me as I cried.
"What in the FUCK is going on????", I heard InuYasha bellow from the doorway and I jumped apart from Kouga, my eyes going from InuYasha to Kouga. InuYasha was looking at Kouga and Kouga turned toward him. "Just saying Good-bye InuYasha, that's all.", Kouga shrugged. "Kagome?", InuYasha asked, his face red, his eyes big. I just shook my head and started to walk past him. He reached out to grab my arm and pulled me back to him. Kouga edged past me to go out the door and InuYasha drug me away from the door. "This is not finished, Shimura...", InuYasha growled and Kouga didn't even act like he heard as he walked out.
"Kagome, tell me... What the hell was THAT?", he said, his face down nearly against my own and I could only stand there and look at him... Where did I begin???
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A/N: Oooohh! Evil cliffy! Oops, I did it again O_O
Review! Reviews make me happy!
Maggz