John rounded the corner and entered his old office, which was now in a casual display of disarray by its new occupant. The paperwork was spilling onto the floor and the potted plant in the corner seemed to be wilting from neglect. For a person who was meant to have left this morning, Susan seemed to be in no hurry to pack up and get out.
She didn't even look up, she just chewed the end of the pen a little more and illegibly scribbled her signature at the bottom of the page. Dear God, she was becoming a bureaucrat! "Be with you in a minute John," She mumbled, trying to figure out what in the hell the initials SFINOR-3 could possibly stand for. Who the hell made up these stupid military acronyms anyway? It was supposed to make life easier by shortening, not harder by making the meaning elusive. She stared at the initials again, then pushed the paper away and stood up.

"I see you didn't take long in taking my office," John smirked, although noticing no sign of any personalised clutter. Only the paper spread everywhere. Ivanova looked ready to tear her own hair out and throw it over the office.

"Well you can have it back." Susan declared, her bad mood evident in her voice. "This job is completely unreasonable!" She yelled, suddenly afterward realising that she was not helping this headache. Infact it was getting worse no matter what she did. Maybe she should go and have a cat- scan or something.

"I know," John smiled, sympathising with her position. "I've had those days."

"Well, at least I can get out of here," She blinked, feeling the light getting brighter. "Assuming the new captain will grace us with her presence sometime tomorrow."

Sheridan half laughed again, but wished he could find a way to talk her out of going. Susan was experienced, well taught in the art of diplomacy and knew this place like the back of her hand. Anyone replacing her was going to have hell of a lot to live up to. Not to mention at some point in the future he'd have a lot of explaining to do for Delenn in reference to the new C:O.

"Should I warn you now that I know the new captain quite well?" He remarked in good humour.

"Probably a good idea before I shoot my mouth off." She added as she collapsed into her chair and rubbed her eyes. She was tired of this place. "At least Lockley probably knows what a-"Susan paused and grabbed the paper to read it back to John, "a SFINOR-3 is. The best I've come up with is "Salted flarn In nee of rice. The three could mean anything."

John laughed again. Despite her apparent grouchiness, Susan was really good humoured about most situations. The last time he'd met Lockley, her sense of humour had needed drastic work. "Acronyms not withstanding, You mean you won't miss this place a bit?" John continued.

"I didn't say that." Susan mumbled, going off into a different train of thought. "I'll miss the people, You, Michael, Stephen, Delenn..."

"Marcus." John added, knowing where a lot of her awkwardness as of late had come from.

Ivanova eyeballed Sheridan. There was nothing she hated more than being made to face up to things. "Yeah, even him."

"Have you told him?"

Pausing she turned away for a moment, and lowered her voice, like a child answering back to their parent. "Not as such."

"Susan! You were meant to leave this morning!"

"I know, I know." She enforced, not appreciating being chided by John. "It's just-"She paused, trying to word it. Or at least think of a reasonable excuse. "I don't know how he'd react. The last thing he needs is a relapse."

"How is he?" John enquired. "I haven't been by lately, what with everything that's going on." "He should be out of med-lab by the end of the week," Susan remarked, finding a smile reaching her lips. "-if Stephen doesn't kill him first."

"That bad?" Sheridan asked, widening his eyes.

"You've never spent much time with Marcus alone have y-"Her link cut her off. She activated it and raised her hand to her mouth. "Ivanova, go."

Corwins voice came over the link again bearing bad news. Susan was becoming aware that she wasn't the only one who was finding promotion to be a pain in the ass. "Captain, we need you in bay 3. We have a situation."

Susan hung her head and replied, although it was quite evident that the universe hated her. "I'll be there."

"It's always in the middle of a sentence" John remarked at the call for her.

Ivanova went to leave and mumbled vaguely in Sheridan's direction. "I'll catch up with you later John."

"Susan-"he called out to her, causing her to stop. "You're gonna be at the inauguration, right?"

"I don't know," She sighed, wanting to avoid crowds of people. Londo walking up and asking how his good and dear friend captain Ivanova was, G'kar asking if she'd dropped by to see Marcus. Numerous ambassadors telling her that the station would not be the same without her. She wouldn't be able to stand it.

"Come on." John nagged, knowing that as her ex-C:O he held a certain power over her. "This is important to me and it'd mean a lot to have you there."

"I don't know, I'll see." She replied awkwardly. She'd think of a good excuse later.

"Okay, I suppose I can't make you." John smiled, but he somewhere felt a pinch of disappointment. She didn't want to stay close, she was drifting away from them already...he didn't want to loose her. But if she didn't want to be held down then he couldn't stop her. He had to let her make her own mistakes, John had too much to think about to run her life as well. He reached out and clasped her shoulders. "But don't forget who your friends are, and where they are."

Susan smiled weakly, wishing she could explain to John fully what was going on- why she had to go. But the words escaped her. She turned to leave again.

Sheridan thought for a moment, then called her back again. "Susan!"

"Yeah?" She answered exasperatedly, turning on her heel.

He thought again for a brief moment, then spoke. "Starfuries in need of repair- 3."

Susan just laughed, then left.

Susan walked quickly out of her office and in the opposite direction to John. Her head was pounding again. This wasn't good. She could feel the blood pushing her veins wide and against her temples. Voices. A cacophony of voices getting louder, reaching a terrifying crescendo. She couldn't breathe, the breath was stolen from her lungs, her head became light. Ivanova stopped and lent against a wall. Louder, louder, so many voices. This was a really bad sign.

Her mothers voice came to her, from deep in her memory.

Build it taller. Built it brick by brick until they are gone.

She fought against them, pushed them away. She'd had no idea how it felt, to hear so many that you loose yourself in them, your own voice swallowed by chaos. Eventually, they started to fall away, until they became a background hum. Susan quickly pulled herself together and carried on, knowing for certain that getting away from here soon would be a good thing. That way, she wouldn't have to tell anyone.

And from a distance, Byron watched her walk away.

In the docking Bay, Ivanova was met by the sight of Corwin standing beside a body under a sheet. He looked particularly apprehensive as his C:O for the next twenty-four hours approached, looking worse for wear from the days trials.

Silently, she gestured for him to begin, not wanting to ask herself who the poor unfortunate under the sheet was. Taking a deep in breath, Corwin began.

"We found him floating outside the station. He's definitely a ranger. He was in commercial stasis bubble when we picked him up-"He paused, about to drop in a complication to the situation. "-But he didn't die of exposure to space."

"Let me see." She remarked, trying to push down any emotional attachment to the empty shell on the gurney. Her hand shot forward to the head of the bed.

"It's not pretty ma'am." David added, causing her to hesitate.

She paused and forced out a joke. "Is it ever?" Susan threw back the sheet.

She said nothing for a moment. She wasn't mentally prepared to see that. Not in that uniform. "God." She remarked finally, throwing the sheet back over, as if she were erasing the memory of the rangers face by doing so. "Why kill a ranger?" She turned to David, who held out a sign with letters on it.

"He had this around him when he was found."

Ivanova took the sign from him. This was an attack on the alliance itself. On all of them, and of the home of the fledgling alliance. "Nice." She remarked breathlessly before pulling herself back to her professionally distanced stature. "Get the body to med-lab." She instructed Corwin. "I wanna know how long he's been dead."

The body was wheeled away. God, what a last day.

Dear Mr President,
As of this date, You are officially a dead man. Have a nice day.