A/N : I'm really pleased that this fic is getting such good feedback. Thanx muchly to all you people that reviewed; Courtney37, zanthinegirl, Rachel, Lady Starlight, WolverGrim, Freja, mnkychick1823, ekmw511, SouthernRain, SweetBitter, SlayGal. Hope you all like this chapter as much as the others...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 3

"Well, here I go" Buffy tried to smile as the last of her bags were packed into the cab and she stood facing her friends and family, all set for her trip to LA. In turn she hugged her sister-Slayer, her real sister, her two best friends and her father-figure.

"Have a wonderful time Buffy" Giles smiled, "I see no reason why you shouldn't"

"I'll do my best" the young woman smiled back as she said goodbye to them all once again and climbed into the cab.

She turned to wave through the back window until the car pulled around the next corner and she could no longer see the place she had called home for five years now. Turning back in her seat, Buffy's mind began to wander, back to the last few days she had spent in the US. After the destruction of Sunnydale, it had been said that the Slayers and the Scoobies should lead relatively normal lives, but Buffy knew better than anyone it would never happen completely. Too much had occurred in her young life for her to ever be satisfied with the ordinary.

From the site where her home town used to stand, Buffy and her friends went to LA. All the injured were taken to hospital there whilst the able-bodied took shelter at the Hyperion with Angel and his crew. The group had been quite shocked to see them but had rallied around much like the Scoobies always did, tending to the smaller wounds, finding rooms and food and supplies for all their many guests until the girls decided where to go from here.

Buffy can still see, in her minds eye, what happened when she laid eyes on Angel that day. She'd been the last off of the bus, so caught up in thoughts and emotions that she barely registered the vehicle had stopped moving until Xander's hand landed on her shoulder and she turned to see many empty seats all around her.

"Come on Buff" the brunette smile, despite is own loss, "Help this lesser sighted being into the hotel?"

Buffy could hardly believe how her friend could keep on smiling through all the problems, the death and destruction, but what else was there to do? She smiled back as she got to her feet and walked into the building with her best friend. As she came through the door, she looked around the foyer, all full of girls and her friends and family, and then there he was.

In the centre of everything was Angel, the first vampire with a soul, her first love. His presence there only served to remind her of the loss of another, the second. Her hands went to her face as the emotion caught up with her and she cried like she'd never stop. Immediately Angel was there, wrapping his arms around her, comforting her as so much emotion washed over her.

They'd spent hours talking, after the initial mess had been cleared. The girls had beds to sleep in, as did the rest of the gang. Faiths original request to sleep for a week could happen if she wanted it too, although Buffy knew she would be up at the crack of dawn to go to the hospital and see Robin again.

Angel sat opposite his one time girlfriend as she spilled out everything about the last few weeks. She admitted to everything that had happened as regards her feelings for Spike, elaborated on what she'd said before about him being in her heart, crying as she told of his sacrifice. Even Angel, who was usually the last person to have a good word for his grand-childe, admitted that Spike done a great thing for Buffy and for the world.

That night Buffy had wanted comfort that Angel could not offer. It would have been unfair to ask him to stay the night with her, just to hold her. She knew as well as he did that they would both end up wanting more and that could never be.

Things had been simpler with Spike, Buffy realised as the cab took her to the airport. He had a soul he couldn't lose, he loved her unconditionally with or without it, and he'd do anything she wanted good or bad just to be close to her. He'd told her once that to hold her and watch her sleep for one night had been the greatest time in his whole existence. A part of her was glad she'd given him that happy time before his final passing.

Shaking her head in an attempt to banish all kinds of unhelpful thoughts and emotions, Buffy felt one stray tear trickle down her cheek. She missed those two vampires that she thought of so often. Once she left LA, two weeks after she'd arrived, she had not seen Angel either. In those two weeks she'd made friends with the gang. Wesley had changed so much she hardly recognised him, but she'd found she preferred him now to the annoying geeky Watcher he'd been years before. Fred was a sweetheart, Gunn was a hell of a fighter but with a heart of gold, and Lorne could have her smiling in seconds even when she felt like the world had just crashed down on her head.

It'd be nice to see them all again, she realised, though she worried about what kind of impending doom she might be walking into. It seemed too simple that they'd just invite her over for a visit. A vacation was a nice idea, but in the life of a Slayer, even one of many as she was now, she knew it was just not plausible.

* * * * *

It still amazed him to stand by the window and watch the sun rise without fear of being fried and dusted by the rays. This vampire-protection glass was a hell of an invention and one he'd definitely come to appreciate since he'd moved into Wolfram and Hart with Angel's gang. He hadn't meant to stay these five years, at first there'd been no choice in the matter, he was tied to the magical amulet that had brought him here and incorporeal too. But once he'd got his freedom and a solid body he could have just walked out that door, gone to find Buffy and the Little Bit, but something stopped him. What would she say if she saw him again? Would she be pleased? Would she smack him in the face? Either way it'd be nothing he hadn't experienced before, but he didn't know if he could face it all again. Perhaps Angel had been right in leaving their precious Slayer alone. She had a shot at a normal life now, she didn't need some resurrected vamp hanging around...did she?

"Hey Spike" he heard behind him but didn't turn. He'd sensed her presence and she'd been standing there a while just watching him, watching the city.

"Hello pet" he replied, still staring out of the window "You okay?"

"As well as can be expected, I guess" Fred sighed coming to stand beside him.

"Tough times" Spike nodded absently, sparing her a glance and smiling slightly.

"Yeah" she agreed.

There was a pause before she suddenly placed her hand on his arm and got his attention.

"It'll be okay, Spike" she said softly and he looked at her with a slight frown.

"What will luv?" he asked, pretending not to understand, but Fred knew better.

"Buffy's visit" she said simply and he shrugged, dislodging her hand from his arm as he stared out across the city of angels, they'd got the call several hours ago to say she was about to board the plane in London, she could arrive at any time now.

"Oh, that" he sighed "Hadn't thought about it much"

"You're such a terrible liar" Fred laughed in spite of the fact it wasn't very funny, but it was so true. Spike finally gave up on the view and turned to face a girl he'd got to know quite well since he'd arrived in LA.

"Is it that obvious?" he asked with a half-smile, needing no real answer.

"Spike, do you remember when you first showed up here?" she asked as he turned away again and walked to the other side of the room.

"How could I forget?" he asked the wall as he ran his hand around a very interesting picture frame "I was supposed to be dead" he was avoiding answering the question because he knew what she meant.

"The first thing you said when you appeared" Fred recalled so clearly "after a string of curse words, was..."

"Where's Buffy?" he said just as he had so many years ago, he remembered it just as well as Fred did, probably better.

"She was your first thought" the girl commented, being reminded of the one thing about Spike that drove her crazy. Usually he was so vocal about what he thought and felt, but he had this ability to clam up completely whenever it came to Buffy.

"My last too" he admitted "or at least what I thought would be my last, and every other thought before, after and in between..." he turned around once again and faced Fred as he continued "but these past five years I've told myself she's better off without me. Now the decisions been made for me and I'm going to have to face her..." he breathed a deep and unnecessary breath before asking "Fred what if she hates me?"

Fred couldn't help but smile at the child-like innocence on the vampires face. How he had ever been evil she couldn't imagine. How he'd existed in the world for over a century she couldn't conceive. He was such a little boy sometimes.

"Why would she?" she asked him "How can she hate you anymore than she hates us? We could have told her you were here and we didn't" she shook her head at the absurdity of it "And she can't hate you for loving her" she added as if it were obvious. Spike almost laughed though the humour wasn't there at all.

"You don't know Buffy like I do, pet" he told her as he turned to leave the room.

"Maybe not, but I know you" she said, making him stop in his tracks "You're a good man, Spike" she told his back as he refused to turn back "in five years I've learnt that. Buffy knew you longer than me, and you were close to her. You told me once that she admitted she loved you"

Spike closed his eyes, pushing back tears as he remembered the last time he'd seen his Slayer. She'd gripped his hand and fire had erupted from their touch. She'd said she loved him as the pain of his soul and the cleansing light ripped through his being. He'd told her to go and that he didn't believe her...even now he wasn't sure whether he'd meant that or not.

"She did" he said quietly, turning at last "and I know I'm being stupid, and selfish too because this visit isn't even supposed to be about me, but..."

"Spike, Fred" a voice called bringing his attention back to the door, along with hers. "Buffy's here" Wesley announced as he arrived in the room and Spike took another deep unneeded breath as he made to follow the ex-Watcher down to meet his fate.

"No time for buts" Fred noted with a half-smile as she stood beside him.

"Guess not" Spike nodded, hesitating by the door, not knowing whether he was glad that Buffy was so close or just terrified by the prospect of seeing her again after all this time.

"Time to face the music" commented the girl at his side.

He genuinely smiled as he replied.

"Worse than that luv, time to face the Slayer"

To Be Continued...