Teri had been gone for a while, and I loved her. I love her to this day. But I know that I can't live in the past, and I have to move on with my life. I can do that. I have done that.
It's not like I'm betraying her. It's not like I'm going to forget her. She's gone, and I can't bring her back... so I just have to move on, but never, ever forget. I would never forget Teri. She was my life. There were times when I thought I couldn't survive without her warm smile greeting me every night when I came home from work. Her soft touch, her scent, and those great pies she used to bake every Sunday.
We had great times, the three of us. Our life was good. Hell, our life was great.
It's amazing what that day did to me. I lost my love. I lost my wife. Thank God, Kim was all right. She's all I have, my only daughter. My beautiful daughter; my reason to go on... When she stopped returning my phone calls... My god. I'll never forget the feeling that came over me when she said it – "I'm sorry, Dad. I just can't speak to you anymore." Of course, there had been more... just false explanations and a good girl trying to make it better. That's what hit me the hardest, though.
"I just can't speak to you anymore."
I had a lot of time to think. I didn't have a job, or a family, so I spent my seemingly endless days sitting by myself in a dark house – just thinking.
What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? How the hell did I let it get this bad?
Simply thinking can do a lot to a man. It nearly destroyed me.
It was an unmistakable sinking feeling when I did realize it. I can't be thinking clearly. Something's wrong with me. It took me weeks – no, months, to finally admit it to myself. It was difficult, but I can't deny the truth.
Nina Myers is a beautiful woman. She's smart, she's quick-witted, and she reminds me of... well, me. There's just something about her that makes me want to know more, that makes me want to be with her. Forever.
I, Jack Bauer, am in love with the woman who killed my wife.