After the Final Show/Down
Part 3
Gage did not sleep well that night. He was so worried about Syd that he kept dialling her number and then hanging up before it rang. He wanted desperately to hear her voice and to make sure that she was okay but he also wanted to give her space. He knew her well enough to know she would resent even well-meaning intentions from her best friend because it might imply that she was not capable of looking after herself. That said, Gage couldn't stop wishing that he was there to take care of her.
Syd on the other hand, slept reasonably well. When she had gone home from Company B she had relaxed for over an hour in a very hot and bubbly bath. She had thought about nothing except soothing her frazzled nerves and ignored, with every ounce of willpower in her being, the impulse to think about Gage just standing there, that innocent look of hurt in his eyes as he silently said goodbye to her. If she had just agreed to go back and see the psychologist then Gage wouldn't have felt like she was abandoning him. But instead, she had indulged in a large bowl of ice cream for dinner, popped a couple of pain relievers to take the edge of the dull ache in her head, and fallen asleep with the TV on, curled up in her favourite pyjamas.
Tuesday was bright and sunny, a stark contrast to the spirits of the two young Texas Rangers who found themselves walking into uncharted territory that morning as they entered Ranger headquarters. Syd arrived at her new office, Company D in the basement, as promptly as ever at 9:00. And Gage, for the first time in Walker and Trivette's memory, actually showed up for work early arriving at 8:45.
"Have you seen Syd this morning?" Gage asked Trivette, who shook his head.
"Sorry buddy. If I was her, I wouldn't want to come up here for a while, you know."
"Yeah, it's just that she left her coffee cup up here and you know how insistent she is that she can only drink coffee from her cup and..."
"Well, then I'm sure she'll come and get it if she really wants it."
"Maybe I should go take it to her."
"Gage!"
"Yeah, Trivette?"
"Give her some space, okay? Listen, Walker thinks that one of the things that is troubling Syd is that she is trying to come to terms with the risk of mortality that comes with this job. God knows, we've just had some close calls with it."
"Yeah, I know. It's got to be bothering her. It's troubling all of us." Gage didn't feel like divulging the private conversation that he and Syd had had out in Walker's meadow.
"Not just her mortality, Gage. Yours." Gage looked at Trivette in confusion. "Walker believes it was in Syd's best interest to remove her from active duty so that she could relax a bit and not have to worry about you."
"That's absurd Trivette! Syd has no more need to worry about me than any Ranger does about their partner."
"Are you sure about that Gage? What was all that tickling and hand-holding the other day at Walker's?"
"That was nothing. We were just fooling around." Gage could feel himself blushing and knew that his protests were in vain. There certainly was something more to his relationship with Syd than being partners, though now he wondered if they'd ever have a chance to figure it out. Would Syd even want to? If caring about him cost Syd her job, she'd never forgive him.
"I don't know Gage. Walker and I have been partners for a long time, and we have never tickled each other or held hands."
Trivette walked to his desk and sat down. He had watched their emotional parting yesterday and couldn't help but wonder if Syd and Gage were actually falling in love underneath all that teasing and camaraderie. He left Gage standing there, Syd's coffee cup in hand, an expression of deep thought on his face.
Neither had long to think though. Walker burst into the room and announced that there had been a robbery 10 minutes earlier at a major bank in Dallas and that the Rangers were needed to pursue the get-away vehicle immediately.
"Trivette, you're with me. Gage, follow us. Your new partner is en route already." Walker called out as his team checked their guns and followed him out the door. Gage put Syd's coffee cup on his desk, concern over his former partner's need for caffeine forgotten in the rush to do his duty.
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Syd settled easily into her new surroundings, at least for the first couple of hours. It was quiet and cool in the archives, and she found filing papers and keep the room looking orderly a very calming experience. But at about 10:30 she began to wish that she could hear Walker talking on the phone to Alex or Trivette calling out trivia facts from his computer. Or Gage, smiling at her from his desk, teasing her yet again about some silly thing or bringing her a cup of coffee. Coffee! That's what was missing. She hadn't had her morning coffee yet, and no wonder, she'd left her favourite mug upstairs when she left yesterday.
'Oh well, I'll just use one of the mugs down here.' She thought to herself and fetched herself a cup. 'I'm not sure that I want to go up there and see them. See Gage. If only I had been willing to go back and talk to Dr. Smythe, then maybe Gage I wouldn't be here and Gage wouldn't have a new partner. I'm not sure he'll even want to see me again if he feels that I let him down.'
But the coffee in the borrowed cup just didn't taste right and at about 11:15 Syd convinced herself that she did indeed need to go up to Company B, just to collect her cup of course.
When she arrived upstairs the offices were pretty quiet. All the Texas Rangers were gone, only a couple of administrative assistants remained behind. 'I wonder where they all are?' She thought, and tried very hard to repel the feeling of anger that suddenly boiled inside her. I should be out there with them, this is not fair. Who is out there protecting Gage? Some new partner who doesn't know his moves like I do. What if something...She didn't allow herself to think through that thought. Gage was fine.
She looked for her coffee cup on the tray beside her coffee pot but it was missing. 'Great. I'm gone less than a day and somebody has already usurped my coffee cup.' She sighed to herself, looking around the room, wondering who would have dared. Her eyes finally lit upon her cup, on Gage's desk of all places. She stomped over to it, imagining that Gage had used her cup this morning as a bit of a joke. She could just picture it. 'Ha ha ha! Let's use Syd's precious cup – she's not here to defend it.'
But when Syd got to his desk she realized that her cup was as clean as it had been yesterday when she had washed and put it away, and that Gage's own coffee mug was sitting there half-full of now cold coffee. She smiled to herself, realizing now that Gage must have pulled it aside for her, and felt quite guilty for ever believing that he would have made fun of her behind her back. She knew in her heart that Gage would never do that. Reaching down for a piece of paper, Syd worked for a moment on a message. And then leaving the paper on his desk where her cup had once sat, she quietly left her former office and headed back downstairs to tackle the stacks of folders there waiting to be filed.
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When Gage and the rest of the rangers, including his new partner – a young, blonde rookie Ranger named Kelly, returned to the offices of Company B it was late in the day. They were jubilant, having successfully caught the bank robbers and recovered the stolen money, all without injury to civilians or law enforcement.
"Where do I sit?" asked Kelly, particularly thrilled, this having been her first big assignment since joining the Texas Rangers. She was, admittedly excited too by her new working team. Ranger Walker was a legend among the Rangers, Trivette was incredibly amusing, and her new partner was not only gorgeous he was also sweet and charming. He had immediately fallen into sync with her as they staked out the robbers, and they had even worked in unison to trick the get-away car driver into giving up the name of the man who had hired him.
"Right here." Gage said, tapping the desk that used to be Syd's. He suddenly felt guilty, it was the first time in several hours that he had really thought about her. He looked at his watch and realized that she was probably already home, her shift in the archives having finished a good hour ago. Actually, it had almost been a relief he realized. Lately whenever he and Syd had been out working he was often so concerned with her welfare that he had come close to making some stupid mistakes. Despite that though Gage knew that he had missed having Syd out there, knowing that she was with him meant that he could keep an eye on her and she on him. Kelly had been fine, but it was Syd that he trusted with his life. He was glad that today's robbery had been a pretty standard case.
Gage moved over to his desk where he had unceremoniously dumped all his stuff. When he picked up his holster he noticed a small piece of paper lying underneath it. He picked it up and smiled, feeling warm through to his toes. It was a picture of a coffee cup, filled with steaming coffee, and the simple word 'thanks' on it in Syd's unmistakeable handwriting. He looked around the room, almost as if he expected her to suddenly materialize. She was okay. She had been up here. And he had been gone. Had she known they were out and that's why she had come up? Or had she summoned up enough courage to face them only to find them all out. He preferred to think it was the latter. Despite how fragile she had felt in his embrace the other day as she had wept in his arms, he knew that Syd was a strong person. It was one of her most admirable qualities.
A young voice penetrated his thoughts. "Who's up for a drink?" Kelly was eagerly calling out to her colleagues as if she had known them forever.
"I've got to get home to Alex and Angela. Another time Kelly, thanks. Good work today."
"My fiancée will have my hide if I don't come home, she's already looking at china patterns and linen designs. I promised to hurry home and look through the catalogues with her." Trivette added to the conversation.
"Oh, I remember those days and I don't envy you Trivette." Walker smiled at his partner as they both headed for the door.
"Hey Gage. What about you? You're young. No wife or fiancée to go home to, c'mon – lets go live it up on the town. I know a great jazz bar..."
"No thanks Kelly. I appreciate the offer, but I'm not as young as I used to be and I'm starting to realize that I am not as single as I used to be either. See you tomorrow." And, putting the note from Syd in his pocket, he followed his friends down to the parking garage.
And he left his new partner there trying to figure out his cryptic message, which Gage himself could not quite believe he had offered up as an explanation for not going out. It was true that he was not as young as he used to be, and he'd had a poor night's sleep the night before. But as far as being single, well, he was single so why had he indicated to Kelly that he wasn't? He knew why. It boiled down to the fact that if it had been Syd asking him to go out for a drink after work; he'd have gone willingly regardless of how tired he was.
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The rest of the week passed quickly. Syd was getting used to her new job though she found herself getting restless more frequently than she had ever before in her life. She imagined it was from the lack of activity involved in filing reports and clipping newspaper articles, versus chasing bad guys. She tried to alleviate the feelings of unrest by exercising twice as long each day, eliminating the chance that she'd run into Gage or Walker by using the gym during women's only hours. Although she couldn't stop thing about Gage and wanted to see him just to reassure herself of his safety she convinced herself that if anything did happen to him somebody would let her know.
Gage was pretty busy himself breaking in his new partner. She was going to be a good Ranger, he could see that. She had a lot of natural instincts and was steadily gaining a lot of useful skills in a short time. She worked hard and asked a lot of questions, and as a partner Gage did not have too many complaints. However, despite his early feelings of relief that he no longer had to protect Syd every time they went out, Gage couldn't help but note that Kelly was no Syd.
And she never would be, no matter how skilled she became. From the moment that Gage and Sydney had begun working together there had been an inexplicable bond between them, and over the years they had honed their working skills into something of a masterful combination of physical prowess and unspoken understanding of what the other was thinking.
Kelly also had the added annoyance of constantly trying to flirt with Gage. He wasn't blind, he could see it. She certainly was pretty and perky, and he wished he had some friend to introduce her to. He was trying to play it cool with her, he didn't want to hurt her feelings but if she kept sitting on his desk next week and asking him about himself, he'd have to make his feelings clearer. He was most definitely NOT INTERESTED.
As for the woman that he now admitted to himself that he was interested in, he hadn't seen her all week. It was near torture sometimes knowing that she was so close, but he didn't know what to say to her so downstairs seemed so far away. How was she doing? Was she seeing the psychologist and making some headway into getting reassigned to active duty? Did she miss him as much as he missed her?
Late Friday afternoon Gage finally decided that he had had enough and headed downstairs to the archives, the name of a criminal from one of his open cases written on a piece of paper as an excuse for needing to do research. Walker and Trivette both watched him leave, and shared a knowing look.
"Pay up Trivette."
"What?"
"I guessed he would make it to Friday night before going down to see her. Pay up."
"No way Walker...it's only 3:30. That's afternoon, not night. I win. I guessed Friday morning, and that's closer than Friday night. You pay up."
"Truce Trivette – nobody wins."
"I wonder how Sydney is doing?" Trivette stopped joking and asked sombrely.
"I wish I knew. But my guess is not good. She is still refusing to see the psychologist."
"I think I better go see where Gage is going." Kelly voice suddenly interrupted them. Trivette and Walker looked at each other and said 'no' simultaneously.
"He's going on a classified assignment, isn't that right Walker?"
"Uh, yes, classified. Trivette - why don't you show Kelly how to do database searches for known criminals?"
"Sure. Kelly, come on over here and sit down. Now you see, here is where you enter...."
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Gage headed downstairs, more nervous about seeing Syd than he ever had been before. He hoped she wouldn't be too angry with him for coming down to see her. He had kept hoping she would come back upstairs, but as the days had gone on he had realized that was unlikely.
Once downstairs he was greeted by the head archivist, a woman that reminded him of the librarian at his elementary school
"Hello Ranger. What can I help you with today?"
"I...uhhh...well, you see..." Gage had not anticipated having to deal with someone else other than Syd. "I...uhhh...have this name that I'd like to research."
"Certainly Ranger. What kind of records would you like to access today?"
"What kind of records?" Gage felt like an idiot. He hadn't thought through any of this. His brain finally started to kick in. "Uh...newspaper?"
"Dallas proper or all of Texas? And starting what year?"
"Dallas. 1986."
"Okay, those records will all be on microfiche. Come sit over here Ranger and I'll bring you the first stack of records for that time frame. It is 3:30 on a Friday though; you do know that we'll be closing at 5:00."
"Oh...yes...I just wanted to get started as soon as possible on this."
"Of course, I'll be right back."
Syd poked her head out from around the corner when she saw the head archivist leave. It was Gage! He was okay and had apparently survived most of a week without her protection. Thank God, if anything had happened to him because she hadn't been there...the thought didn't warrant thinking about. Heads would roll, to say the least.
Syd had been scanning pictures in the digitization room when she had heard their voices come down the hallway, and she had been sure that her mind was playing tricks on her. His was the one voice she was longing to hear, so it wouldn't have surprised her if late on a Friday afternoon she had imagined it. Syd ducked her head back in when she saw the archivist coming back, this time loaded down with a basket full of microfiche files.
"Here you are Ranger. The index for each fiche is located in the upper right corner. Let me turn the microfiche reader on for you. There we go. If you need any help, I'll be right at the front."
"Thank you." Gage replied as he watched the woman walk away. He looked all around, where could Syd be? He didn't really want to be looking at these files! He had simply thought it was a clever excuse to get himself into the archives.
"Gage?" Syd asked, standing up and poking her head around the corner of the digitization room. "What are you doing here?"
"Syd!" Gage whispered joyously, the memory of being shushed thousands of times as a student for making too much noise in the library indelibly burned into his subconscious. He stood up and practically ran towards her. Once at the doorway of the small work room he scooped her up in his arms and hugged her close. "I've missed you so much!"
"I've missed you too." She said, too stunned by his heartfelt actions to rein in her feelings.
"How are you holding up? Are you okay?"
"Well, right now I can't breathe very well."
"Sorry." Gage loosened his ferocious grip on her and let her stand at arms length away from him, but didn't release his grip on her arms. Syd made no motion for him let go. "God, Syd. You don't look very good."
He didn't mean to blurt it out, but her haggard appearance surprised him. She looked utterly worn out. There were dark, dark circles under her eyes and her usually shiny hair was lustreless. His sister would laugh Gage realized if she knew that her brother noticed lustre in women's hair, and truth be told Gage had never really noticed it in anyone before, but now that he was giving Syd a good look-over he realized that her hair was one thing that had changed in the past few days.
"Thanks a lot Gage." Syd shrugged free of his touch. "You really know how to make a girl feel special."
"Oh Syd, I didn't mean anything by it. We've all just been so worried about you, and now that I come and see you I can see that we have been right to be worried. You look exhausted. Have you been eating?"
"Who's we?"
"Me, Trivette, Alex, Walker. Everyone."
"Walker?"
"Yeah Syd, Walker."
"If Walker really cared about me, he wouldn't have banished me down here. I belong out in the field. I mean, how is he keeping you safe? I belong out there with you." Syd's voice, which had begun strong and bitter, faded to almost tearful whisper.
She fell forward into Gage's waiting arms, and for the second time in a week allowed him to hold her. Once she had thought that giving in like this to human comfort was a sign of weakness. Now she was just so tired and lonely and depressed that weakness seemed to be the least of her concerns. And besides, this was Gage; he was the one person in the whole world that she could trust her emotions with and know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he would never hold them against her.
Gage stood in the digitization room holding Sydney, feeling utterly helpless, wishing he knew what he could do to make it all better. As she began to move away from him, he eased her down onto the chair she had been sitting at for scanning, and kneeling down before her, wiped the faint tear tracks from her cheeks with his thumbs.
"I bet you're glad I'm not going to your high school reunion tonight." She sniffled, allowing herself to wallow in the mud-pile of self-pity that she had been building all week.
"Syd. You looked beautiful that night and you look beautiful now. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known."
"Alright, where is the real Gage and what have you done with him?" Syd managed a half-hearted smile.
"There we go, that's my Syd. I was just going to ask where she was."
"I'm right here Gage." Syd let Gage take her hands in his as he sat down in the chair opposite her. "But I just don't know what to do, I am so miserable."
"Don't get mad at me, but have you been to see Dr. Smythe?"
"No. What good would that do? That's how I ended up here."
"She's the only one who can give you the go ahead to go back to active duty Syd. If you don't go see her, you'll be stuck down here forever." Gage summoned up a smile for her. "And then you'll become all ghostly and pale and be one of those old ladies who shush people in the supermarket for talking above a whisper. Not a pretty picture Syd. Not pretty at all."
"Stop it!" Syd managed a half-hearted shove in his direction. "I will never shush people. I used to hate it - all my grandmother's friends shushing me whenever they came over to play cards. I swore I would never do that."
"Okay, so you'll never shush people but you'll be pale and ghostly and I'll probably be in terrible shape because you won't have been there to cover my back."
"Oh Gage." Syd clasped his hands tightly. "That has been the worst part of it all - I have been so worried about you."
"God Syd, is that why you're such a mess? You know I mean that in the nicest way possible. But you're not looking good, and it's all because you're worried about me?"
Syd nodded and smiled wryly. "Well, don't take all the credit. I have also been removed from the job that I live and breathe for; I have somehow lost Walker's faith and trust in my abilities; there are dangerous criminals out on the street that I could be putting away but instead I am down here filing old newspaper clippings; the only way I can get my job back is by going to see Dr. Smythe and I abhor the idea of talking about such personal issues with a virtual stranger, and the list goes on. But yes, Gage, perhaps most of all I have been worried about you getting hurt. And..."
"And what Syd?"
She took a deep breathe. "And I've been worried too that you didn't miss me at all and were maybe thinking you were better off without me."
"Sydney Cooke, what a thing for you to worry about! I have been out there everyday missing you like crazy. Don't you know that?" And to show her just how much, Gage leaned in swiftly and kissed her soundly on the lips.
When he had pulled back, Syd reached up and touched Gage's cheek gently with the palm of her hand. "And this Gage - this scares me too, Gage. What does it mean? What are you saying to me when you kiss me like that? What am I saying when I kiss you like this?" And this time Sydney was the one to tilt her head, lean forward and ever so gently plant her lips on Gage's.
When she sat back, Gage had a happy but slightly stunned look on his face which quickly faded and he looked at her intensely. "It scares me too Syd. But it feels right, doesn't it?"
Syd nodded, not trusting herself with words at that moment.
"I'd like to find out what it all means. Take some time, be together. Talk. How does that sound?"
"It sounds perfect."
"Good. Then I know just the way to start. You are coming home with me tonight."
"Gage!"
"Syd. Nothing improper meant or implied. You look like you need some pampering, and I am just the Ranger to do it. And truth be told, I'm not sure that letting my partner out my sight all this week was such a great idea, and now that she's here in my line of vision again I have no intention of allowing her to escape."
"Ditto." Syd smiled and stood up, giving Gage a quick hug. He could swear that in the past few days her already lean form had become leaner. He pulled her tightly to him, savouring the closeness.
"Now, promise me you are not going to go anywhere. I am going to go get my things from upstairs and when I return, I will expect you to be waiting."
"Oh, already you are expecting me to do things?" Syd joked; secretly relieved by the way Gage was taking control. For once, it was just what she needed.
"Alright then. I will phrase it as a question. Will you be waiting when I return?"
"Yes." Syd almost giggled, that whole nervous school girl thing again.
"Good. I'll be back in 15." And giving her one final squeeze of the hand, Gage turned and headed back to the elevators.
As he was leaving Syd heard the archivist speaking to him.
"Found what you needed Ranger?"
"Yes, thank you. I found exactly what I needed."
Part 3
Gage did not sleep well that night. He was so worried about Syd that he kept dialling her number and then hanging up before it rang. He wanted desperately to hear her voice and to make sure that she was okay but he also wanted to give her space. He knew her well enough to know she would resent even well-meaning intentions from her best friend because it might imply that she was not capable of looking after herself. That said, Gage couldn't stop wishing that he was there to take care of her.
Syd on the other hand, slept reasonably well. When she had gone home from Company B she had relaxed for over an hour in a very hot and bubbly bath. She had thought about nothing except soothing her frazzled nerves and ignored, with every ounce of willpower in her being, the impulse to think about Gage just standing there, that innocent look of hurt in his eyes as he silently said goodbye to her. If she had just agreed to go back and see the psychologist then Gage wouldn't have felt like she was abandoning him. But instead, she had indulged in a large bowl of ice cream for dinner, popped a couple of pain relievers to take the edge of the dull ache in her head, and fallen asleep with the TV on, curled up in her favourite pyjamas.
Tuesday was bright and sunny, a stark contrast to the spirits of the two young Texas Rangers who found themselves walking into uncharted territory that morning as they entered Ranger headquarters. Syd arrived at her new office, Company D in the basement, as promptly as ever at 9:00. And Gage, for the first time in Walker and Trivette's memory, actually showed up for work early arriving at 8:45.
"Have you seen Syd this morning?" Gage asked Trivette, who shook his head.
"Sorry buddy. If I was her, I wouldn't want to come up here for a while, you know."
"Yeah, it's just that she left her coffee cup up here and you know how insistent she is that she can only drink coffee from her cup and..."
"Well, then I'm sure she'll come and get it if she really wants it."
"Maybe I should go take it to her."
"Gage!"
"Yeah, Trivette?"
"Give her some space, okay? Listen, Walker thinks that one of the things that is troubling Syd is that she is trying to come to terms with the risk of mortality that comes with this job. God knows, we've just had some close calls with it."
"Yeah, I know. It's got to be bothering her. It's troubling all of us." Gage didn't feel like divulging the private conversation that he and Syd had had out in Walker's meadow.
"Not just her mortality, Gage. Yours." Gage looked at Trivette in confusion. "Walker believes it was in Syd's best interest to remove her from active duty so that she could relax a bit and not have to worry about you."
"That's absurd Trivette! Syd has no more need to worry about me than any Ranger does about their partner."
"Are you sure about that Gage? What was all that tickling and hand-holding the other day at Walker's?"
"That was nothing. We were just fooling around." Gage could feel himself blushing and knew that his protests were in vain. There certainly was something more to his relationship with Syd than being partners, though now he wondered if they'd ever have a chance to figure it out. Would Syd even want to? If caring about him cost Syd her job, she'd never forgive him.
"I don't know Gage. Walker and I have been partners for a long time, and we have never tickled each other or held hands."
Trivette walked to his desk and sat down. He had watched their emotional parting yesterday and couldn't help but wonder if Syd and Gage were actually falling in love underneath all that teasing and camaraderie. He left Gage standing there, Syd's coffee cup in hand, an expression of deep thought on his face.
Neither had long to think though. Walker burst into the room and announced that there had been a robbery 10 minutes earlier at a major bank in Dallas and that the Rangers were needed to pursue the get-away vehicle immediately.
"Trivette, you're with me. Gage, follow us. Your new partner is en route already." Walker called out as his team checked their guns and followed him out the door. Gage put Syd's coffee cup on his desk, concern over his former partner's need for caffeine forgotten in the rush to do his duty.
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Syd settled easily into her new surroundings, at least for the first couple of hours. It was quiet and cool in the archives, and she found filing papers and keep the room looking orderly a very calming experience. But at about 10:30 she began to wish that she could hear Walker talking on the phone to Alex or Trivette calling out trivia facts from his computer. Or Gage, smiling at her from his desk, teasing her yet again about some silly thing or bringing her a cup of coffee. Coffee! That's what was missing. She hadn't had her morning coffee yet, and no wonder, she'd left her favourite mug upstairs when she left yesterday.
'Oh well, I'll just use one of the mugs down here.' She thought to herself and fetched herself a cup. 'I'm not sure that I want to go up there and see them. See Gage. If only I had been willing to go back and talk to Dr. Smythe, then maybe Gage I wouldn't be here and Gage wouldn't have a new partner. I'm not sure he'll even want to see me again if he feels that I let him down.'
But the coffee in the borrowed cup just didn't taste right and at about 11:15 Syd convinced herself that she did indeed need to go up to Company B, just to collect her cup of course.
When she arrived upstairs the offices were pretty quiet. All the Texas Rangers were gone, only a couple of administrative assistants remained behind. 'I wonder where they all are?' She thought, and tried very hard to repel the feeling of anger that suddenly boiled inside her. I should be out there with them, this is not fair. Who is out there protecting Gage? Some new partner who doesn't know his moves like I do. What if something...She didn't allow herself to think through that thought. Gage was fine.
She looked for her coffee cup on the tray beside her coffee pot but it was missing. 'Great. I'm gone less than a day and somebody has already usurped my coffee cup.' She sighed to herself, looking around the room, wondering who would have dared. Her eyes finally lit upon her cup, on Gage's desk of all places. She stomped over to it, imagining that Gage had used her cup this morning as a bit of a joke. She could just picture it. 'Ha ha ha! Let's use Syd's precious cup – she's not here to defend it.'
But when Syd got to his desk she realized that her cup was as clean as it had been yesterday when she had washed and put it away, and that Gage's own coffee mug was sitting there half-full of now cold coffee. She smiled to herself, realizing now that Gage must have pulled it aside for her, and felt quite guilty for ever believing that he would have made fun of her behind her back. She knew in her heart that Gage would never do that. Reaching down for a piece of paper, Syd worked for a moment on a message. And then leaving the paper on his desk where her cup had once sat, she quietly left her former office and headed back downstairs to tackle the stacks of folders there waiting to be filed.
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When Gage and the rest of the rangers, including his new partner – a young, blonde rookie Ranger named Kelly, returned to the offices of Company B it was late in the day. They were jubilant, having successfully caught the bank robbers and recovered the stolen money, all without injury to civilians or law enforcement.
"Where do I sit?" asked Kelly, particularly thrilled, this having been her first big assignment since joining the Texas Rangers. She was, admittedly excited too by her new working team. Ranger Walker was a legend among the Rangers, Trivette was incredibly amusing, and her new partner was not only gorgeous he was also sweet and charming. He had immediately fallen into sync with her as they staked out the robbers, and they had even worked in unison to trick the get-away car driver into giving up the name of the man who had hired him.
"Right here." Gage said, tapping the desk that used to be Syd's. He suddenly felt guilty, it was the first time in several hours that he had really thought about her. He looked at his watch and realized that she was probably already home, her shift in the archives having finished a good hour ago. Actually, it had almost been a relief he realized. Lately whenever he and Syd had been out working he was often so concerned with her welfare that he had come close to making some stupid mistakes. Despite that though Gage knew that he had missed having Syd out there, knowing that she was with him meant that he could keep an eye on her and she on him. Kelly had been fine, but it was Syd that he trusted with his life. He was glad that today's robbery had been a pretty standard case.
Gage moved over to his desk where he had unceremoniously dumped all his stuff. When he picked up his holster he noticed a small piece of paper lying underneath it. He picked it up and smiled, feeling warm through to his toes. It was a picture of a coffee cup, filled with steaming coffee, and the simple word 'thanks' on it in Syd's unmistakeable handwriting. He looked around the room, almost as if he expected her to suddenly materialize. She was okay. She had been up here. And he had been gone. Had she known they were out and that's why she had come up? Or had she summoned up enough courage to face them only to find them all out. He preferred to think it was the latter. Despite how fragile she had felt in his embrace the other day as she had wept in his arms, he knew that Syd was a strong person. It was one of her most admirable qualities.
A young voice penetrated his thoughts. "Who's up for a drink?" Kelly was eagerly calling out to her colleagues as if she had known them forever.
"I've got to get home to Alex and Angela. Another time Kelly, thanks. Good work today."
"My fiancée will have my hide if I don't come home, she's already looking at china patterns and linen designs. I promised to hurry home and look through the catalogues with her." Trivette added to the conversation.
"Oh, I remember those days and I don't envy you Trivette." Walker smiled at his partner as they both headed for the door.
"Hey Gage. What about you? You're young. No wife or fiancée to go home to, c'mon – lets go live it up on the town. I know a great jazz bar..."
"No thanks Kelly. I appreciate the offer, but I'm not as young as I used to be and I'm starting to realize that I am not as single as I used to be either. See you tomorrow." And, putting the note from Syd in his pocket, he followed his friends down to the parking garage.
And he left his new partner there trying to figure out his cryptic message, which Gage himself could not quite believe he had offered up as an explanation for not going out. It was true that he was not as young as he used to be, and he'd had a poor night's sleep the night before. But as far as being single, well, he was single so why had he indicated to Kelly that he wasn't? He knew why. It boiled down to the fact that if it had been Syd asking him to go out for a drink after work; he'd have gone willingly regardless of how tired he was.
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The rest of the week passed quickly. Syd was getting used to her new job though she found herself getting restless more frequently than she had ever before in her life. She imagined it was from the lack of activity involved in filing reports and clipping newspaper articles, versus chasing bad guys. She tried to alleviate the feelings of unrest by exercising twice as long each day, eliminating the chance that she'd run into Gage or Walker by using the gym during women's only hours. Although she couldn't stop thing about Gage and wanted to see him just to reassure herself of his safety she convinced herself that if anything did happen to him somebody would let her know.
Gage was pretty busy himself breaking in his new partner. She was going to be a good Ranger, he could see that. She had a lot of natural instincts and was steadily gaining a lot of useful skills in a short time. She worked hard and asked a lot of questions, and as a partner Gage did not have too many complaints. However, despite his early feelings of relief that he no longer had to protect Syd every time they went out, Gage couldn't help but note that Kelly was no Syd.
And she never would be, no matter how skilled she became. From the moment that Gage and Sydney had begun working together there had been an inexplicable bond between them, and over the years they had honed their working skills into something of a masterful combination of physical prowess and unspoken understanding of what the other was thinking.
Kelly also had the added annoyance of constantly trying to flirt with Gage. He wasn't blind, he could see it. She certainly was pretty and perky, and he wished he had some friend to introduce her to. He was trying to play it cool with her, he didn't want to hurt her feelings but if she kept sitting on his desk next week and asking him about himself, he'd have to make his feelings clearer. He was most definitely NOT INTERESTED.
As for the woman that he now admitted to himself that he was interested in, he hadn't seen her all week. It was near torture sometimes knowing that she was so close, but he didn't know what to say to her so downstairs seemed so far away. How was she doing? Was she seeing the psychologist and making some headway into getting reassigned to active duty? Did she miss him as much as he missed her?
Late Friday afternoon Gage finally decided that he had had enough and headed downstairs to the archives, the name of a criminal from one of his open cases written on a piece of paper as an excuse for needing to do research. Walker and Trivette both watched him leave, and shared a knowing look.
"Pay up Trivette."
"What?"
"I guessed he would make it to Friday night before going down to see her. Pay up."
"No way Walker...it's only 3:30. That's afternoon, not night. I win. I guessed Friday morning, and that's closer than Friday night. You pay up."
"Truce Trivette – nobody wins."
"I wonder how Sydney is doing?" Trivette stopped joking and asked sombrely.
"I wish I knew. But my guess is not good. She is still refusing to see the psychologist."
"I think I better go see where Gage is going." Kelly voice suddenly interrupted them. Trivette and Walker looked at each other and said 'no' simultaneously.
"He's going on a classified assignment, isn't that right Walker?"
"Uh, yes, classified. Trivette - why don't you show Kelly how to do database searches for known criminals?"
"Sure. Kelly, come on over here and sit down. Now you see, here is where you enter...."
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Gage headed downstairs, more nervous about seeing Syd than he ever had been before. He hoped she wouldn't be too angry with him for coming down to see her. He had kept hoping she would come back upstairs, but as the days had gone on he had realized that was unlikely.
Once downstairs he was greeted by the head archivist, a woman that reminded him of the librarian at his elementary school
"Hello Ranger. What can I help you with today?"
"I...uhhh...well, you see..." Gage had not anticipated having to deal with someone else other than Syd. "I...uhhh...have this name that I'd like to research."
"Certainly Ranger. What kind of records would you like to access today?"
"What kind of records?" Gage felt like an idiot. He hadn't thought through any of this. His brain finally started to kick in. "Uh...newspaper?"
"Dallas proper or all of Texas? And starting what year?"
"Dallas. 1986."
"Okay, those records will all be on microfiche. Come sit over here Ranger and I'll bring you the first stack of records for that time frame. It is 3:30 on a Friday though; you do know that we'll be closing at 5:00."
"Oh...yes...I just wanted to get started as soon as possible on this."
"Of course, I'll be right back."
Syd poked her head out from around the corner when she saw the head archivist leave. It was Gage! He was okay and had apparently survived most of a week without her protection. Thank God, if anything had happened to him because she hadn't been there...the thought didn't warrant thinking about. Heads would roll, to say the least.
Syd had been scanning pictures in the digitization room when she had heard their voices come down the hallway, and she had been sure that her mind was playing tricks on her. His was the one voice she was longing to hear, so it wouldn't have surprised her if late on a Friday afternoon she had imagined it. Syd ducked her head back in when she saw the archivist coming back, this time loaded down with a basket full of microfiche files.
"Here you are Ranger. The index for each fiche is located in the upper right corner. Let me turn the microfiche reader on for you. There we go. If you need any help, I'll be right at the front."
"Thank you." Gage replied as he watched the woman walk away. He looked all around, where could Syd be? He didn't really want to be looking at these files! He had simply thought it was a clever excuse to get himself into the archives.
"Gage?" Syd asked, standing up and poking her head around the corner of the digitization room. "What are you doing here?"
"Syd!" Gage whispered joyously, the memory of being shushed thousands of times as a student for making too much noise in the library indelibly burned into his subconscious. He stood up and practically ran towards her. Once at the doorway of the small work room he scooped her up in his arms and hugged her close. "I've missed you so much!"
"I've missed you too." She said, too stunned by his heartfelt actions to rein in her feelings.
"How are you holding up? Are you okay?"
"Well, right now I can't breathe very well."
"Sorry." Gage loosened his ferocious grip on her and let her stand at arms length away from him, but didn't release his grip on her arms. Syd made no motion for him let go. "God, Syd. You don't look very good."
He didn't mean to blurt it out, but her haggard appearance surprised him. She looked utterly worn out. There were dark, dark circles under her eyes and her usually shiny hair was lustreless. His sister would laugh Gage realized if she knew that her brother noticed lustre in women's hair, and truth be told Gage had never really noticed it in anyone before, but now that he was giving Syd a good look-over he realized that her hair was one thing that had changed in the past few days.
"Thanks a lot Gage." Syd shrugged free of his touch. "You really know how to make a girl feel special."
"Oh Syd, I didn't mean anything by it. We've all just been so worried about you, and now that I come and see you I can see that we have been right to be worried. You look exhausted. Have you been eating?"
"Who's we?"
"Me, Trivette, Alex, Walker. Everyone."
"Walker?"
"Yeah Syd, Walker."
"If Walker really cared about me, he wouldn't have banished me down here. I belong out in the field. I mean, how is he keeping you safe? I belong out there with you." Syd's voice, which had begun strong and bitter, faded to almost tearful whisper.
She fell forward into Gage's waiting arms, and for the second time in a week allowed him to hold her. Once she had thought that giving in like this to human comfort was a sign of weakness. Now she was just so tired and lonely and depressed that weakness seemed to be the least of her concerns. And besides, this was Gage; he was the one person in the whole world that she could trust her emotions with and know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he would never hold them against her.
Gage stood in the digitization room holding Sydney, feeling utterly helpless, wishing he knew what he could do to make it all better. As she began to move away from him, he eased her down onto the chair she had been sitting at for scanning, and kneeling down before her, wiped the faint tear tracks from her cheeks with his thumbs.
"I bet you're glad I'm not going to your high school reunion tonight." She sniffled, allowing herself to wallow in the mud-pile of self-pity that she had been building all week.
"Syd. You looked beautiful that night and you look beautiful now. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known."
"Alright, where is the real Gage and what have you done with him?" Syd managed a half-hearted smile.
"There we go, that's my Syd. I was just going to ask where she was."
"I'm right here Gage." Syd let Gage take her hands in his as he sat down in the chair opposite her. "But I just don't know what to do, I am so miserable."
"Don't get mad at me, but have you been to see Dr. Smythe?"
"No. What good would that do? That's how I ended up here."
"She's the only one who can give you the go ahead to go back to active duty Syd. If you don't go see her, you'll be stuck down here forever." Gage summoned up a smile for her. "And then you'll become all ghostly and pale and be one of those old ladies who shush people in the supermarket for talking above a whisper. Not a pretty picture Syd. Not pretty at all."
"Stop it!" Syd managed a half-hearted shove in his direction. "I will never shush people. I used to hate it - all my grandmother's friends shushing me whenever they came over to play cards. I swore I would never do that."
"Okay, so you'll never shush people but you'll be pale and ghostly and I'll probably be in terrible shape because you won't have been there to cover my back."
"Oh Gage." Syd clasped his hands tightly. "That has been the worst part of it all - I have been so worried about you."
"God Syd, is that why you're such a mess? You know I mean that in the nicest way possible. But you're not looking good, and it's all because you're worried about me?"
Syd nodded and smiled wryly. "Well, don't take all the credit. I have also been removed from the job that I live and breathe for; I have somehow lost Walker's faith and trust in my abilities; there are dangerous criminals out on the street that I could be putting away but instead I am down here filing old newspaper clippings; the only way I can get my job back is by going to see Dr. Smythe and I abhor the idea of talking about such personal issues with a virtual stranger, and the list goes on. But yes, Gage, perhaps most of all I have been worried about you getting hurt. And..."
"And what Syd?"
She took a deep breathe. "And I've been worried too that you didn't miss me at all and were maybe thinking you were better off without me."
"Sydney Cooke, what a thing for you to worry about! I have been out there everyday missing you like crazy. Don't you know that?" And to show her just how much, Gage leaned in swiftly and kissed her soundly on the lips.
When he had pulled back, Syd reached up and touched Gage's cheek gently with the palm of her hand. "And this Gage - this scares me too, Gage. What does it mean? What are you saying to me when you kiss me like that? What am I saying when I kiss you like this?" And this time Sydney was the one to tilt her head, lean forward and ever so gently plant her lips on Gage's.
When she sat back, Gage had a happy but slightly stunned look on his face which quickly faded and he looked at her intensely. "It scares me too Syd. But it feels right, doesn't it?"
Syd nodded, not trusting herself with words at that moment.
"I'd like to find out what it all means. Take some time, be together. Talk. How does that sound?"
"It sounds perfect."
"Good. Then I know just the way to start. You are coming home with me tonight."
"Gage!"
"Syd. Nothing improper meant or implied. You look like you need some pampering, and I am just the Ranger to do it. And truth be told, I'm not sure that letting my partner out my sight all this week was such a great idea, and now that she's here in my line of vision again I have no intention of allowing her to escape."
"Ditto." Syd smiled and stood up, giving Gage a quick hug. He could swear that in the past few days her already lean form had become leaner. He pulled her tightly to him, savouring the closeness.
"Now, promise me you are not going to go anywhere. I am going to go get my things from upstairs and when I return, I will expect you to be waiting."
"Oh, already you are expecting me to do things?" Syd joked; secretly relieved by the way Gage was taking control. For once, it was just what she needed.
"Alright then. I will phrase it as a question. Will you be waiting when I return?"
"Yes." Syd almost giggled, that whole nervous school girl thing again.
"Good. I'll be back in 15." And giving her one final squeeze of the hand, Gage turned and headed back to the elevators.
As he was leaving Syd heard the archivist speaking to him.
"Found what you needed Ranger?"
"Yes, thank you. I found exactly what I needed."