A/N: Thanx to; Spuffyluvr, BtVS-and-PotC-Fan, aphelant, Spuffyfan4eva, Rachel, Spikes Bint, velja, lilly, rubi-elektra, SlayGal, for the latest reviews. Seems to me this fic is in dire need of some serious Spuffy lovin'. This chapter turned out a little longer than I expected but I think I have adequately delivered on the Spuffy front...hopefully that'll make up for the cliffy from before...Enjoy!

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 12

"He's...You're..." Buffy babbled slightly as she tried to take in what she was being told. The boy standing before her, who looked to be about Dawn's age, was Angel's son? To his credit Connor looked equally confused and Spike couldn't believe this was happening now! Could the kid not have had the decency to want to track down his father after Buffy had left! Now was just inappropriate.

"Connor, this is Buffy Summers" he said carefully, hoping the Slayer was planning on keeping calm for now, though he could understand why she wouldn't.

"Buffy?" Connor repeated, looking at her strangely as if trying to remember something "You were my father's girlfriend?" he said uncertainly until she nodded.

"I was" she managed to say, still looking completely confused by the whole situation. Spike looked from one to the other and decided he must do what he'd promised Angel he would.

"Connor, I think we need to talk" he suggested as the boys attention turned back to him.

"Should I know you?" he wondered aloud, not recognising the bleached blond but feeling like they had some strange connection, he didn't know it so much as he sensed it.

"Not exactly" Spike shook his head slightly "Look, come up to Angel's office, I'll explain everything" he promised, gesturing for the boy to follow him back up the stairs, as Buffy looked on in shock.

"Angel is in his office?" Connor checked as he made to follow. Spike couldn't tell him like this, it wasn't the way, and he was glad Buffy was too shocked to tell him the truth right now.

"Just, come on" he urged, glad when Connor warily decided to follow without further question. As they climbed the stairs side by side, Spike realised that Buffy was right on their heels.

"Buffy, luv" he turned to stop her, causing Connor to pause and looked back too "er Connor you go ahead, Eric do me a favour" he called to the nearest W&H employee "get him to the bosses office" the man who appeared to be Eric opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it when Spike snapped at him "and don't ask any questions!"

In a moment Connor had disappeared up the stairs with Eric, leaving Buffy and Spike alone again.

"Spike, you just said he's Angel's son" she began, finally letting out all the stuff that had spun around her head for the past five minutes and had finally settled into fairly coherent sentences "Angel was a vampire how is that even possible and oh my God why didn't he tell me?!"

"Buffy, please, calm down" Spike urged her, with a hand on either of her arms "If you're willing to stay a little longer, I'll explain it all, the entire story, however long it takes" he promised "but I think Connor deserves a few answers first, especially since I've got to tell him why dear old Dad isn't here"

Buffy was about to start protesting when he said that last part and then she found she couldn't. Somehow this young man was Angel's son and therefore was about to be told his father was dead. He needed an explanation and time to grieve as she had done, and it seemed the only person who could help him right now was Spike. For once in her life she mustn't be selfish, she knew that.

"Okay" she agreed in a quiet voice "I'll stay and wait" she nodded, knowing there was no way she could go back to England now without hearing the rest of the tale "but you owe me an explanation" she told Spike just as he turned to walk away from her to go and find Connor.

"Actually" he called sadly over his shoulder "the person who owes you that ain't here"

- - - - - - - -

Upstairs in the room that would always be Angel's office despite his death, a very confused young man sat on the edge of the desk, staring at a framed photograph of a man he was fairly sure was his father, though he hadn't always thought so...

"You okay Connor?" a British voice said from the door and he looked up to see Spike there. Putting the photo down again, he shook his head and stood up.

"Yes, no, I don't know anymore" he admitted "Where's Angel?"

Spike closed his eyes for a second and sighed before he told the boy the painful truth.

"I'm sorry mate, Angel's dead" the vampire winced as he saw the shock and pain cross over Connor's face. He hated having to break horrible news like this to people that had already experienced too much pain in their lives. He used to love causing pain, physical and mental, but he'd changed, more and more over the past few years and somewhere between his chip, his soul, his love for Buffy, and his sacrifice for the world, he'd become much more of a man than a monster, and pain for others now meant pain for him.

"Dead?" Connor echoed, seemingly fighting tears "But he was..." he swallowed hard "he was my father, right?"

"Yes, Connor" Spike nodded "he was your father, and he loved you"

This kind of nancy-boy stuff was really not the vamps style but technically this kid was related to him, by blood. Besides, Angel was dead and Spike had promised that when it happened he'd make sure his miracle son knew he had cared for him.

"Who are you?" Connor asked next. He felt like he should know but so many memories seemed to bleed together in his mind and some were missing completely.

"My name's Spike" the bleached blond replied, vaguely wondering if he'd ever been mentioned in front of the boy.

"You're a vampire, like he was" Connor stated, though it was almost a question, he looked unsure of everything.

"Yes, also true" Spike nodded again, not entirely certain whether the boy had been told of him and his vampire status or whether he sensed the demon within, like Slayers and other vamps could.

"It's so weird" Connor wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry as he sat back down on the edge of the desk, running his hands back through his hair "I had another family, parents and a sister and...then a couple of weeks ago I had this dream, like I was a different person" he tried to explain, watching patterns on the carpet rather than the person he was talking to "There was this hell place and then I was here, with Angel and Cordelia and...It was like a dream, but it felt so real" he shook his head, wishing it would all make sense but it really didn't "I started to see things, not just in dreams but when I was awake too"

"It's all real, Connor" Spike cut in "every bit of it, but it's not for me to explain" that got the young man's attention, and Spike dug in his pocket, producing an envelope that he held out to Connor "Your Dad left this for you when he...passed on" he said carefully as the letter was taken from his hand "It should explain everything"

Connor turned the envelope over in his hands, wondering at the fact that even the handwriting was familiar, despite the fact he'd lived a completely different life for the past five years. He glanced up at Spike who stood by the door, as he wondered whether to stay or go.

"Can I be alone, please" he was asked and the vampire nodded.

"Sure thing, kid" he said as casually as he could, inside panicking because he knew even though this hurdle was over, he had the Slayer to face next, the only up-side being she hadn't left yet "If you need anything, the phone's right there" he gestured to the desk before he turned to leave "just dial down to reception and they'll find me for you"

Connor nodded once as the vampire disappeared from view, then he had a thought and called out his name. His head re-appeared around the door.

"How did you know my father?" Connor asked, remembering that despite the fact Angel was a vampire, he didn't have that many demon friends since he himself had a soul.

"Well...it's complicated" Spike admitted, re-entering the room "but, his childe was my sire. You understand that?" he asked with a tilt of his head.

"Yes" Connor nodded slowly "So we're kinda related?" he half-smiled, kind of glad to know that even if the family he thought he had was fake and his father was dead, there was one person who he had a real connection to.

"Could look at it that way I s'pose" Spike agreed with a slight smirk of his own, "I'll see ya later" he added as he finally left the room and went to find Buffy. He headed straight for the reception desk and checked with the girl there to see if Buffy had gone back to the room she'd been staying in or somewhere else. She was back in that very same room and he hurried to the top floor to see her.

She was sitting on the bed, gazing out of the window at the rapidly darkening sky as he reached the door.

"Can I come in?" he asked her back, without turning she replied.

"You don't need an invitation" she said flatly "you part-own the entire building"

"Just being polite, luv" he said quietly, sensing the edge to her voice. She was understandably pissed about the whole Angel's son thing but it was hardly his fault!

"How could you not tell me Angel had a son?!" she exploded as he reached the side of the bed "How could he not have told me?!"

"It's not as simple as it sounds pet..." he sighed as they stood there either side of the bed and he launched into the entire speech he'd been happy to avoid with Connor. Thankfully Angel explained all this in the letter to his son but Buffy had no clue about any of it. Spike hardly dared to move never mind sit down as he told the story, just in case the Slayer went nuts again! Eventually he reached the end...

"So Angel knew there was a loophole in the deal Lilah made with him, there was always a loophole back when Wolfram & Hart was dodgy. Anyway, once he died, the spell broke. Connor's memory of his old life would return, though strangely no-one else's would. Course Angel being the hero-type that he was always going to be here, assumed he'd out-live the boy so it wouldn't matter. Just in case things didn't go according to plan, he wrote the letter as explanation"

"How come he only told you?" was Buffy's first question and Spike smiled as he answered her.

"Same drunken night that he told me everything else, luv" he explained, "The whole thing with the post-grave letters in the safe and everything, the whole Connor saga came out too" he admitted.

There was silence then as Buffy tried to take in all she'd been told. Spike was about to break said silence when the telephone stole his thunder.

"Hello" he said, picking it up, "Hi Sandy what's the problem?" he greeted the night receptionist who told him Connor had left a few minutes ago. He'd asked that they tell Spike he was okay but he needed time to think about all that had happened and he should expect another visit from him soon. Spike thanked the girl for passing on the message before hanging up the phone and telling Buffy what he'd just been told.

"Poor kid" Buffy sighed, finally sitting down and Spike dared to take the space next to her, though with a couple of feet of distance between them to begin with "I know what it's like to lose a parent" Buffy continued, looking nowhere in particular "and also to be told you're not who you thought you were. Both those things at once - I wouldn't want to be in his shoes"

"Me either" Spike agreed, "Anything for a simple life...though we're never likely to get one are we, a vampire with a soul and a Slayer" he wasn't sure if he'd meant for it to come out that way, as if their lives should be one, together, but in seemed to sound that way when he said it and he wondered if she noticed.

"I was just starting to enjoy my life" Buffy mused "having some kind of normality"

Spike felt wretched then. She'd been happy in England with her project and her mates, and now all this was happening, dragging her back into a mess of demons and spells and dark memories she'd sooner forget.

"And then all this happens and you find me here - I'm sorry, pet" he said sadly.

"It's hardly your fault that Angel's gone" Buffy reached a hand over to take hold of his "and I don't want you to think I'm not glad that you're here" she half-smiled as she caught his eye "I don't know how I would have handled all this without you"

"You'd have coped Slayer" he told her with a smirk "had to when I wasn't around"

"I didn't at first" she admitted, knowing she was being ridiculous, letting all these feelings out now, but unable to hold them in any longer "after you'd gone...after I thought you'd gone..."

"Buffy..." Spike interrupted, not wanting to hear her say she was over him now or that she wanted him for a friend, it was too painful. She seemed to ignore him as she kept a tight hold on his hand and stared down at the floor, continuing with what she wanted and needed to say.

"I kept thinking it was all a weird dream" she told the carpet "Yes, we'd saved the world and it was wonderful but you couldn't be gone" she was almost crying as she looked up into his eyes now "not Spike, you always come back"
"You were right" he reminded her in a soft voice he didn't recognise as his own "I did" he reached out his other hand to carefully wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"Yeah, but I was selfish" she told him, bringing up her other hand to hold his to her cheek when he tried to move his fingers away "I thought when you came back, it'd always be to me"

He hated to know he'd caused her pain, hated that she was crying now because of something stupid that he had done.

"It should've been, baby" he told her, daring to pull her into his arms and hold her tight "I should have come back to you. I was an idiot to stay away but...hey" he stop sharply and moved his hands to her arms to push her away from his slightly "hang on a sec" he said, trying to look her in the eye but finding it impossible as she kept her head down "is this just you being all mad at me for making your decisions for you or are you trying to tell me something?" he asked, uncertainly, searching her face for an answer her mouth seemed incapable of giving as she finally glanced up at him, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish.

"Spike" she said eventually, bringing her hand up to caress him face "I...I love you" she told him "and the last time I said that you didn't believe me" she quickly added "I wasn't totally certain afterwards if I'd meant it myself but now I'm sure of what I feel, for maybe the first time in my life I'm really sure" she promised him "so I need you to just believe me when I tell you...that I love you" she repeated, feeling such relief to have finally said it when he had a chance to believe it, she prayed now that she wasn't too late.

It seemed like an eternity as she waited for him to react to her words. Eventually he leaned closer to her and tenderly placed his lips on hers, in a way she was sure he'd never kissed her before, but then she'd never really given him the chance. After a moment it ended and he leaned his forehead against hers and sighed.

"Oh sweetheart, I love you too" he promised "My precious love, you'll never know how much" he continued as he moved to take her face in his hands, tears streaming down her cheeks and forming in his own eyes too "you'll never know how many times I dreamt that..."

As much as Buffy was pleased to hear he still loved her as he always had, the rest didn't matter now. She interrupted his words by kissing him, in that sweet way that he had just kissed her. It was so different from anything else they'd shared, and at the same time familiar and comfortable, like coming home.

"It doesn't matter now, does it?" she asked as they parted once again "All that's happened before, it's not important now...I just want to be with you, always" she told him truthfully, before claiming his lips again.

Spike knew it was different, that this was not like the kisses they'd shared under a spell, or those heated embraces after she'd been torn from heaven. This was love, this was real, and it was terrifying.

Buffy was equally as scared by the feelings she had rushing around inside of her. She'd known for a while now that she was in love with Spike but she never dreamt it would work out this way, that he'd come back to her, that he'd still want her and love her the way he always had, but here he was, kissing her in this glorious way, and she never wanted him to stop.

Pushing his coat from his shoulders, she laid down on the bed and took him down with her, as he kissed his way across her face and around her throat. Her hands pulled the back of his T-shirt from his jeans, before sliding up his back, and Spike abruptly took his lips from her skin.

Buffy opened her eyes that had fallen shut of their own accord and frowned as Spike sat up again, completely cutting all contact with her. He pushed a hand through his hair and looked away.

"Spike?" Buffy frowned still as he turned to look at her, still lying back on the bed, a little dishevelled, "What's wrong?"

"If we carry on..." he said almost nervously, "I don't...I don't know if I'll be able to stop" he finally admitted, unable to look at her anymore. The last time they'd come close to this it was in her bathroom back in Revello Drive, Sunnydale, and she hadn't exactly welcomed his advances. He hated himself so much for what he'd done to her then, and he was petrified of messing up again.

It took Buffy a moment to catch onto what the problem really was. It had been so long since she'd thought about that awful night, over time she'd distanced the monster she'd seen then, from the real Spike. She'd driven him to madness that year with her incredibly selfish and stupid behaviour. She'd used and abused him in every possible way and yes, he had gone too far, and there was no excuse for it, but it was so different now. They trusted and loved each other, neither of them should be afraid of the violence they possessed inside, they should be certain of their ability to be careful with each other.

"Spike" Buffy whispered, pulling herself up beside him, "look at me" she urged, putting her hand to his face and making him turn, "I don't want you to stop" she told him somewhat shyly, "I trust you and I love you" she promised "All I want is to be close to you"

Carefully she kissed him, hoping he'd respond and just let himself go. She wanted to be with him this way more than anything else in the world right now. She did understand why he was nervous, it was mostly her own doing, but eventually she felt him relax against her as they lay down together once again.

This time there was no stopping. He let her remove his clothes as he in turn undressed her. When they finally came together as one, united in love, it was the most beautiful thing that either of them had ever known, and for once in his existence, Spike wasn't so ashamed of the tears he shed.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : So, does this chapter meet with everyone's approval? I'm hoping I handled the Spuffy well enough. Please give your opinion by reviewing! :-)

Extra note to 'FannyLovesSpike' - If you don't like my fic then do not pain yourself by reading it. I write my fics for me and for people who want to read them. If, in your opinion, my story is implausible, please do not bother to read it - it will save time and typing for both of us.